SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP

IMG_20171102_114202 A recent study says sleep deprivation  actually causes brain cells to eat parts of brain’s synapses. The study found astrocytes went into overdrive in sleep-deprived mode more brain connections were broken down in chronically sleep-deprived people according to the Sleep Council. On average Britons gets a six-and-a-half hours sleep per night but for most people is not enough. Lots of these studies show that cutting back on sleep, deliberately or otherwise has serious effects on the body. Continuous nights of bad sleep is really messing blood sugar control and causing overeating. It even messes with DNA. A few years ago, Dr Simon Archer help ran experiment and found getting an hour’s less sleep a night affected activities of a wide range of volunteers’ genes in about 500 in all, including the effects associated with the inflammation and diabetes. And a good nights sleep uplifts body, mind, thought processes and moods or outlook on life.A woman after a good night's sleep

As much as wholistic benefits is gained by sound sleep on the other hand other studies shows negative effects on bodies of sleep deprivation. The clear effects of lack of sleep on mental health is shown by Trust Me I am a Doctor team with the sleep scientists at Oxford University by their experiments. They recruited some volunteers who normally sleep soundly fitted them with devices to accurately monitor their sleep. The first 3 nights of study they got a full, undisturbed eight hours. The next 3 nights, had restricted sleep to just four hours. Each day the volunteers filled in the psychological questionnaire designed to reveal any changes in their mood or emotions. So they kept video diaries of experiences of what happened. Sarah Reeve, a doctoral student who ran the experiment was so surprised by how quickly their mood changed. There was increase in anxiety, depression and stress, also increases in paranoia and feelings of mistrust about other people” she said. “Given that this happened only after 3 nights of a sleep deprivation that is alarming. Volunteers found experience unpleasant but one of them Josh claimed to be unaffected. Yet the computer data evidence showed the effects to be different. Although a week may not have as much toll as he thought it would on him, he said. “felt perfectly fine, not happy, sad, stressed, anything.” But tests did on him showed something very different. His positive emotions fell sharply after 2 nights of disturbed sleep, while negative emotions began to rise. Even though he felt OK there were signs he was mentally, beginning to suffer.sleep-deprived-woman-brain

What happens in body without enough sleep?

Poor sleep is linked to a whole range of disorders. A review of 153 studies with total of more than 5 million participants found that the short sleep significantly associated with diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, coronary heart disease and obesity.

how lack of sleep can affect your body: links with diabetes, heart disease, dementia, low mood and cognitive functioning, vaccinations less effective, lower immune response linked to coughs and colds, greater risk of obesity

Studies have shown that depriving people of enough sleep for only a few nights in a row can be enough to put healthy adults into a pre-diabetic state. Moderate levels of sleep deprivation damaged bodies’ ability to control blood glucose levels. And the vaccines are less effective if sleep deprived because sleep deprivation suppresses immune system making people more prone to infection. One study found participants who had fewer than seven hours of sleep were almost 3 times more likely to develop a cold than those who slept for 7 hours or more. People who do not sleep enough produce too much hormone ghrelin, associated with feeling hungry, and not enough of hormone leptin, associated with feeling full, which may contribute to their risk of obesity. There are also links to brain function and even in the long term to dementia. Prof. O’Mara explains that toxic debris builds up in brain during the course of the day and waste is drained from the body during sleep. If not sleeping enough ends up in a mildly concussed state, he says. The impact of sleeping too much though less understood is linked to poorer health including high risk of cognitive decline in older people. Different types of sleep to repair body and brain. After falling asleep body goes through the cycles of “sleep stages” lasting between 60 and 100 minutes. Each stage plays different role in the many processes that happen in our body during sleep.

sleep cycle through the night from awake to drowsy to light sleep, deep sleep, REM sleep and back

The first stage in each cycle is a drowsy, relaxed state between being awake and sleeping breathing slows, muscles relax, the heart rate drops. The second stage is a slightly deeper sleep may feel awake and this means on many nights, may be asleep and not know it. Stage three is deep sleep. It is very hard to wake up during this period because it is when there is the lowest amount of activity in body. Stages two and three together are known as slow wave sleep which is usually dreamless. After deep sleep we go back to stage two for a few minutes, and then enter dream sleep, also called REM (rapid eye movement). As name suggests is when dreaming happens. In a full sleep cycle a person goes through all the stages of sleep from one to three, then back down to two briefly, before entering REM sleep. Later cycles have longer periods of REM, so cutting sleep short has a disproportionately large effect on REM.

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‘Stuck’ In Negative Thoughts

The outcome of this small test reflects results of other much bigger tests done by other university researchers all over the world of sleep deprivation affecting  mental health. The research recruited more than 3,700 university students across the UK who reported problems sleeping and randomized them into two groups. One group received 6 sessions of online CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) for improving their sleep; the other group got standard advice. Ten weeks into the study, the students who received CBT reported a halving in rates of insomnia, accompanied by noticing the significant improvements in scores for depression, anxiety, big reductions in paranoia and hallucinations. This is the largest random controlled trial of psychological treatment for mental health in UK. And it strongly suggests that insomnia really causes mental health problems rather than simply being consequence of them. Daniel Freeman, the professor of the clinical psychology, Oxford University led study and thinks one of the reasons why sleep deprivation is bad for brain is because it encourages the repetitive negative thinking seen. And negative thoughts happen if sleep-deprived and gets stuck in them,” he said. He does not think a few nights of bad sleep means you becoming mentally ill but think it increases the risk.a1bb7cc18e609b3436edc80883d82dcd--interesting-health-facts-interesting-information

One in three people have difficulty in sleeping about 5% to 10% of the general population has insomnia but so many people get on with their lives and they cope with it. But it does raise the risk of a whole range of other mental health difficulties.” The positive side of this research is it implies helping people get a good night’s sleep goes a long way to helping improve a sense of well-being. And Norbert Schwarz, the professor of psychology at University of Southern California, has even put a figure on it. He claims: “Making $60,000 (£48,400) more in annual income has less of an effect on your daily happiness than getting one extra hour of sleep a night.” So, sleep well. In children, their sleep deprivation seems to have a slightly different effects on kids vs. adults. One recent study found the brain changes so half-night of sleep deprivation affects the back regions of the brain instead of the front regions as it does in adults.howthebrainrbrainscan

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Effects of Sleep Deprivation on Brain

Lots of studies reveal damaging effects of sleep deprivation on the brain. Scans from various research shows difference in brain between sound sleep and those of deprived sleep. Biological and social influences converged to create a perfect storm keeps some awake at night. In the pre-industrial times, people woke up at first light and naturally wind down at sunset. Little work could be done in the dark by candlelight but the invention of artificial light altered sleep experiences by turning night to daylight. Lightbulbs, television screens, smartphones confuse bodies’ internal clocks to interrupt the natural sleep cycle. Modern society has been conditioned to think sleeplessness is a badge of honour and productivity. Some people naturally adapted to these changes but for others these changes are against nature so has exacerbated an underlying biological deficiency and created a cycle of sleeplessness.

Neuron Synapse

Fig 2. Neurotransmitter GABA flowing between neurons. 2 natural compounds play an essential role in regulating sleep cycle: GABA and melatonin. As the day wears on absence of light and the body’s internal clock trigger the production of melatonin works with neurotransmitter GABA to help wind down mind and to prepare body for sleep. When the sleep cycle is interrupted by anxious thoughts levels of GABA and melatonin does not reach the threshold necessary to induce sleep. More concerning is how a lack of sleep affects the brain. During a healthy sleep cycle a nervous system functions like a dishwasher cleaning up the waste proteins and toxins produced by active brain cells during the day. But without enough sleep, the body does not have enough time to completely clean up the waste produced by brain. In the same way dishwasher cannot properly clean dishware if turned off in mid-cycle. If feeling groggy after a restless night it is actually experiencing effects of a toxin buildup in brain. If sleeplessness cycle continues for extended period of time, there is a longer lasting detrimental effects on the brain and overall health.
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new clinical study by the Princeton Consumer Research says break cycle without relying on harmful chemicals with addictive properties. Alleviate this problem in a simple way using natural ingredients to promote a healthy sleep. In the last 18 months, researchers in a GMP-certified facility in New York have perfected a formula containing 5 safest and most potent natural compounds for restful sleep. In addition the position of sleep affects mental health and sound sleep. So sleep experts advise people to sleep more on their sides to enable the brain to detox and drain waste products better. People’s personality often can be determined by their sleep patterns and positions leading to their performance in life. Whatever position suits each one depends of personal choice and comfort though health can affect sleep position. In some circumstances environmental noise pollution can intrude into sleep no matter preparations made. In such cases it is wise to consult sleep experts for professional cobsultation advice. 

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The univeristy also developed natural sleep nutrients to help improve sleep. It is advisable to contact a doctor before embarking on any form of natural or a medical aid to sleep. A natural RediNite combines delicate balance of Melatonin, and the L-Tryptophan, Magnolia Bark, Lemon Balm, and Passion Flower to help your mind wind down to promote healthy, sustained sleep. Each of the 5 natural ingredients in the RediNite formula has been clinically proven to boost levels of GABA and melatonin, allowing body to sleep peacefully and naturally to flush waste proteins from brain accumulated while awake. The result is falling into a deep sleep more quickly and waking up feeling refreshed, and ward off morning grogginess. Whether an early bird or a night owl, RediNite helps to establish a healthy sleep routine centered around your specific needs. When you struggle with sleeplessness, you need something to helps fall asleep fast, promotes deep, restful sleep so you wake up refreshed each morning. The Princeton Consumer Research performed a clinical trial to test RediNite’s effectiveness within 30 minutes and over the course of 30 days.

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Click here to view the complete results.

While it is not a miracle cure, clinical results are very encouraging. After one week of use, more than 3 out of 4 study participants fell asleep in 30 minutes of taking RediNite. In addition, over 95% said their sleep quality improved within 30 days. None of participants reported any negative side effects. The results were statistically significant compared with placebo. RediNite is vegan, non-GMO, and gluten-free, and is made in a GMP-certified facility in New York to ensure the highest standards of safety. The entire RediNite compound fits into one vegetable capsule with low-dosage, high-efficiency ingredients helps for the immediate relief. Taken daily, body will safely absorb the RediNite’s natural ingredients and help to achieve deep restful sleep each night. Go to sleep faster and stay asleep longer by trying RediNite tonight. This exclusive offer is not available in stores. Available online through November 4th. Click the link below to claim 30 Day Trial of RediNite.

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God is always watching over you

1. Psalm 121:2-5 My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let you fall. Your guardian will not fall asleep. Indeed, the Guardian of Israel never rests or sleeps. The Lord is your guardian. The Lord is the shade over your right hand.

2. Proverbs 3:24  When you lie down, you will not be afraid. When you rest, your sleep will be peaceful.

3. Psalm 4:7-8 But you have made me happier than they will ever be with all their wine and grain. When I go to bed, I sleep in peace, because, Lord, you keep me safe.

4.  Psalm 3:3-6 But you, Lord, protect me. You bring me honor; you give me hope. I will pray to the Lord, and he will answer me from his holy mountain. I can lie down to rest and know that I will wake up, because the Lord covers and protects me. So I will not be afraid of my enemies, even if thousands of them surround me.

 

Rest Assured

5. Proverbs 1:33 but whoever listens to me willlive in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.

6. Psalm 16:9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure.

7. Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

8. Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Don’t sleep too much

9. Proverbs 19:15 Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless go hungry.

10. Proverbs 20:13 If you love sleep, you will end in poverty. Keep your eyes open, and there will be plenty to eat!

11. Proverbs 26:14-15 Like a door on its hinges, a lazy man turns back and forth on his bed. Lazy people are too lazy to lift the food from their plate to their mouth.

12. Proverbs 6:9-10 How long will you lie there, you lazy person? When will you get up from sleeping? You sleep a little; you take a nap. You fold your hands and lie down to rest.

 

Don’t overwork yourselfeither. Can’t sleep? Check out verses for sleepless nights

13. Ecclesiastes 5:12 The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether they eat little or much, but as for the rich, their abundance permits them no sleep.

14. Psalm 127:2 It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.

 

Examples

15. Jeremiah 31:25-26 I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint. At this I awoke and looked around. My sleep had been pleasant to me.

16. Matthew 9:24 He said, “Go away, for the girl is not dead but sleeping.” And they laughed at him.

17. John 11:11 After saying these things, he said to them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him.”

18. 1 Kings 19:5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.”

19. Matthew 8:24 Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.

20. Matthew 25:5 As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept.

Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep 

Sleep, sleep,
Don’t peep,
Night is coming soon;
Mama tucks her sleepyheads,
Snugly in their cozy beds;
Sleep, sleep,
Don’t peep,
Night is coming soon.
Soon…

Good night,
Sleep tight,
May your dreams be sweet;
Twinkling stars, their watch will keep,
While the angels guard your sleep,
Good night,
Sleep tight,
May your dreams be sweet.
Sweet…

Courtesy Credits:

Rebloged and Updated

Words & Music: W. Otto Miessner Adapted By: Terry Kluytmans © 2002

Trust Me I’m a Doctor – Mental Health Special on BBC2 at 21:00 GMT Wednesday 1 November.

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GUT BACTERIA & ANXIETY

gut feelGut bacteria affects the brain and mood swings which impact the body. Recent research shows good gut microbes are essential from quality nutrients in foods Gut bacteria creates a serotonin happy mood and joyful mindset. Some of the processed foods deficient in essential mineral nutrients contain residues of toxic chemicals from fertilisers and the pesticides in the food chain. Product can contain unhealthy chemicals affecting a mood swing. Often people who have no time to eat well and without time cook simple healthy menus resort to the junk foods. Cheap unhealthy foods cause the obesity, diabetes and numerous health problems as the meals grabbed eaten too fast for proper digestion. Whatever food is available if desperately hungry is stuffed and gulped down with drinks also unhealthy. The modern trend of the rat race lifestyle means most do not even shop or stock healthy ingredients. Often too expensive within budget due to low incomes may resort to fast foods in high streets, eat whatever is available as job markets in ate in jeapoardy. Your-Gut-BacteriaWith spiralling property prices constant online connectivity, these undoubtedly is anxious times for young people. Stats back this up, with almost one in five 16-24-year-olds in UK dealing with stress and anxiety. A recent study suggests that the anxiety levels may not just be driven to what’s going on inside brains but in gut caused by bacteria microbes. After carrying out research scientists at University College Cork, Ireland found strong links between the high levels of depressive and anxious behaviour and having a low-level of gut microbes. The study showed ‘microbe-free’ displayed higher anxiety levels than those without them. It’s believed the gut’s microbiotic environment influences molecules in 2 areas of the brain’s pre-frontal cortex and amygdala tied to a range of mental health condition of depression anxiety.Gut-bacteria-weight-loss-300x203
Links between what you eat and what you feel emphasise the latest findings in years to come do not only focus on the ins-and-outs of brain chemistry and antidepressants but take a more holistic view of our mental health. A double-pronged treatment is encouraging news to those who have a generalised anxiety disorder. In the UK it’s believed about 5 % of the population and young people affectedHowever, treating food as a solution to complex mental issues is by no-means being suggested. The past few years ‘clean-eating’ trends are criticised by experts saying they cause problems as approach to food unhealthy extreme.

While fad diets may be debunked, according to one specialist, paying attention to your gut isn’t another mere craze. “It definitely isn’t just a trend,” says Dr Megan Rossi, Research Associate at King’s College London. Gut’s sudden rise to prominence as an arbiter of our mental health is due to technological advances, she explains. “We weren’t able to sequence all the bacteria and understand their genetic profiles and their functionality until now,” she explains. Only in the last 10 years has the tech been available to understand the gut’s true potential. “I definitely see the gut as like a second brain,” she says. And, like the brain, we are far from understanding all of its mysteries.diet_620x350_61490876592

But there are some things you can do to keep your gut and your brain fighting fit. Fermented foods, such as kimchi or live yoghurt, are said to be beneficial, while recipes including pulses and legumes, onion, garlic, dates, figs, and asparagus can all help good bacteria to flourish. Dr Rossi says variety is also key: overdosing on just one kind of veg won’t bring the health benefits that varied, plant-based foods do. And she is keen to stress that food isn’t a miracle cure, when it comes to severe, chronic depression. But being kind to your gut might be one important way of being kinder to your mind. If you’d like more information and support about topic be able to get help from experts in healthy eating treatment centres. If you need counselling tell your GP to set up for you to deal with ang deep root causes of anxiety causing unhealthy eating. Pay attention to good healthy diet in general improves health and gets rid of certain illnesses as Jamie Oliver showed by the changes in school meals in UK impact on children’s health and well-being.  In addition anxiety is fuelled by hidden chemical, enhancers and preservatives. It is important that to know and learn to understand effects on brain and body. Gut-Bacteria-InfographicGood food from the rainbow diet ensure each part of the body gets appropriate nutrients necessary for the cell growth, regeneration and repair of the human tissues. Some do not eat properly, resort to online self diagnosis by convincing themselves they have symptoms read about. In the course of counselling, psychiatrists said, following a five-year study of patients treated in 5 English hospitals. Research shows internet was feeding a “silent epidemic” of health anxiety as harmless ailments often mistaken for terrifying diagnoses. And they said the growth of fitness trackers likely increased levels of hypochondria, heaping pressures on cardiac clinics and neurology units. Dr Helen Tyrer, a senior clinical research fellow, Imperial College London, said anxiety was often triggered by event, such as the patient suffering a health scare, somebody in their family getting ill, dying, celebrity their age dying or getting sick. “They become convinced they are developing a serious underlying disease, or that an existing medical problem is much more serious than it is,” she said.Prevent-Your-Gut-Bacteria-From-Making-2Such beliefs are held despite medical evidence to the contrary.” Lead author Professor Peter Tyrer said the internet appeared to be fuelling the trend: “We think increasing frequency is because of cyberchondria,” he said. “People now go to their GP with list of things they’ve looked up on the internet and say ‘what do you make of this and the poor GP, five minutes into the consultation, has four pages of reading to do. “Dr Google is very informative but he doesn’t put things in the right proportion,” he said. It is true Google helps as source of good information but contradictory advise leads to confusion or lack of awareness of the real causes of changes in moods. Food plays major part in human brain formation so eating the right foods can contribute to a healthier mindset. Food is not just an option of favourite palate taste but thought must be put into good food to train people to value their body better. The family meal cannot just depend on ads seen on Telly to feed the precious body and good brain foods. How-Gut-Bacteria-Affects-Brain-and-Body-PinA glamorous food advert picture does not match contents inside the food box or taste anywhere near similar freshly prepared quality good home-made meals. A good budget can buy the affordable ingredients if determined to feed family and eat well. So much time spent online or watching telly can be used instead to prepare these simple quick 15 minute delicious menus for a family. The rise in ADHDT some autism spectrum is linked to chemicals in some foods that must be avoided.

How to cope with anxiety

Dr Rachel Andrew offers her advice for teens struggling with anxiety:

  • Seek appropriate help if you feel you need it
  • Remind yourself that it only forms a part of your strengths, talents and abilities
  • Try and practise mindfulness to stay in the moment, as your anxiety will drive you to constantly think of the future and worst case scenarios
  • Try to stay focused on the present and more manageable situations
  • Take a break on social media or at least have moments in the day where you switch alerts off.

Healthy-Gut-BacteriaThe study, funded by National Institute for Health Research, tracked 444 patients with “severe health anxiety” at cardiology, gastroenterology, neurology and respiratory departments. While some had genuine health complaints, or had suffered them the past, all had abnormal levels of anxiety. Those given cognitive behavioural therapy saw a significant drop in anxiety levels, five years on so similar death rates to those given standard NHS care, suggesting that counselling did not lead to a failure to discover life-threatening illnesses, researchers found. The hospital food is another issue as patients sometimes are unable to eat what is provided. Lots of tons of food is wasted by NHS because is unsuitable for dietary needs in certain situations or patient too ill to eat that sort of food provided. Holistic approach to good diet will reduce some illnesses compounded by junk food or starvation. Healthy food education must extend to manufacturers also and start early from childhood. Convenience foods are good but cannot be totally depended on solely for nutrients. Fresh food quickly prepared contains ‘live’ nutrient than the one stored for years before being eaten.gut-bacteria-boost-health-fb.jpgGutVideo-657x360Scientists filmed this picture seen here showing bad bacteria eating the healthy brain bacteria. In other words the poor diet can create toxic bacteria to damage brain cells, cause some mood swings or depression. Food is medicine to healthy body so provides energy and strength. On the other bad junk food destroys the body slowly causing long-term diseases. Pay attention to your food because you are what you eat. There is no excuse to neglect the body because of healthier foods now abundantly available to choose from. A little effort makes good difference to mood swings and improve serotonin.  It’s better to eat well without the plastic containers damaging earth and the environment because people think they are too busy to cook. Time spent travelling, queueing in long lines for food can be easily used to cook the simple healthy home-made meals. The TV show proved it took longer in some cases to wait for good ordered than to make a freshly prepared meal. So many step by step recipes are available to use to follow and cook meals. A Can’t cook won’t cook TV programme also guided people to turn simple ingredients into gourmets meals fit for a Kings, Queens, or superstars. Experiment with your own favourite foods and cut down the sugar, fat and salt in some foods. It can be done as many people changed diets, felt better and lost weight as a bonus and a glowing skin feeling happier too.

Gut bacteria could be linked to autism, new research suggests (stock image)

  • Gut Bacteria and Autism
  • Due to a three-way relationship between the brain, gut and hormone cortisol
  • This mechanism is thought to influence how ‘messages’ are communicated
  • Bacteria in faeces influences hormones in gut bacteria
  • Further studies on relationship can determine help symptoms 
  • Researchers analyzed gut and brain connections for humans to learn more about symptoms.

Gut bacteria can be linked to autism as a new research suggests. Pathogens in the stomach alter brain’s development and may increase an individual’s risk of suffering from the spectrum disorder, a study implies. A three-way relationship between brain, gut and stress hormone cortisol appears to influence ‘messages’ communicated in the body, which may result in autistic symptoms as research adds. Lead author Austin Mudd from the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign, said: ‘Changes during infancy can have profound effects on brain development, and its possible the microbiome collection of bacteria, fungi and viruses inhabiting gut plays a role in this process. The researchers further studies required for 3way mechanism to determine autism symptoms. But can be reversed by strengthening the gut’s lining. Study author Dr Qinrui Li from Peking University said ‘Efforts to restore gut microbiota to a healthier person has been shown to be really effective. Its a review of taking probiotics, prebiotics, changing diet for example to gluten and casein-free diets have a positive impact on symptoms. The study carried out by researchers analyzed the brain and gut developments. Researchers examined faeces to determine if bacteria in stools influences compounds in the blood and brains. The Key findings revealed these results that the presence of the bacteria Bacteroides and Clostridium in faeces is associated with higher level substances involved in cell signalling myo-inositol. Bacteroides is also linked to increased amounts of a substance, called creatine, in brain. The bacteria Butyricimonas was found to be linked to the amino acid n-acetylaspartate (NAA) in brain, while Ruminococcus lowered NAA’s cognitive concentration. The presence of such bacteria further influence levels of hormones cortisol and serotonin and determined by gut bacteria. Mr Mudd said: ‘Changes in neurometabolites in infancy can have profound effects on brain development so possible that the microbiome or collection of bacteria, fungi, and viruses inhabiting gut plays a role in this process.’ The findings were published in the journal Gut Microbes. 

BIPOLAR SPENDING SPREE

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People with bipolar disorder experience severe mood swings can last several weeks or months. These include feelings of intense depression despair, manic feelings of extreme happiness, mixed mood depression with restlessness and overactivity. The disorder can also lead to impulsive spending sprees, usually during manic episodes. These extend to cars, holidays and computers, costing thousands of dollars, as irrational decision-making takes hold. It may be wild “self-medicating” shopping sprees, unwise investments, extravagant gifts to family, friends or charity, or spending a fortune on gambling. People with mental health problems are already more likely to be debt-ridden than the general population, and the number is even higher among those with bipolar disorder. Financial troubles then lead to problems of stress, anxiety, depression and suicide among those not officially diagnosed with a mental illness.Cant-Afford-To-Eat (1)

Can’t Find Money To Eat

The UK mental health charity Mind says debt is leaving thousands of people with bipolar disorder struggling to find money to eat, stay warm and pay the rent. They wrote a report stating, “People who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder may have particular problems managing their finances. During a manic, or ‘high’ phase, people can feel euphoric, brimming with ambitious schemes or ideas, their confidence excessively high. They may reach financial decisions that seem sensible to them at the time but which, in retrospect, are not. People may spend extravagantly causing a considerable debt. “After a high phase is over, they are shocked at what they have done and by the consequences they face. This spirals out of control quickly and can be daunting.” During a low phase, the person may feel so depressed they are unable to leave the house or even answer the phone. Unopened bills can pile up. Comedian and writer Stephen Fry spoke out about his experiences on behalf of the charity Mind. He said: “My own bipolar condition has caused me to go on plenty of giddy spending sprees. Because so much stigma still surrounds mental health, many people can’t get a job, on poverty line, and can’t get credit but doorstep lenders charging up to 400 percent interest. Mind’s chief executive, Paul Farmer, adds people with bipolar disorder can become trapped in a spiral of debt that further compounds their mental health problems. He believes that procedures need to be put in place that allow people to protect their finances while still retaining autonomy. Customers with mental health problems should be able to ask bank to monitor their account for unusual spending patterns, and treated appropriately if they miss repayments.happy-family-children-shopping-11079356

Getting Out of Debt as Bipolar

Mental health professionals sometimes offer advice and help individuals set a realistic budget. They can help set up a repayment plan to creditors and teach financial management skills. Friends and family may be able to assist by creating checks and balances to prevent manic spending sprees. If in agreement, they could monitor individual’s money from a distance. Psychoeducation could also be a good idea. Teaching people with bipolar disorder about the illness, treatment and to recognize relapse or causes of relapse early intervention is sought before full-blown illness episode occurs. The approach may be helpful for family members. In addition, there are support groups available for patients and family members to help them talk openly about the condition. Studies suggest that the availability of social support increases the chances of employment in patients with bipolar disorder compared with those patients without support. Bipolar disorder, lifestyle decisions such as exercising and eating well can help to avoid such problems. Keeping regular sleeping patterns is thought to be helpful in preventing episodes, as is avoiding excessive stimulation such as caffeine or stressful social events during the onset of a possible manic episode. When tempted to make large purchase, people with bipolar disorder might feel able to alert their spouse, partner or friend in time to discuss the purchase. menendez-blog-img-1There may be possibility of delayed gratification or order processing which needs a second approval at end of a cooling off period before final decision confirmation. To repair damage caused by the excessive spending during manic episodes must deal with loss of earnings as a result of illness, or taking steps to prevent future problems and financial health is top priority. Its important to stay well get treatment and support. 

References and Further Reading

In the red: Debt and mental health

Rethink: About Bipolar Disorder

Preventing Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder information from Mayo Clinic

National Alliance on Mental Illness

PREVENTION OF DEMENTIA

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One in three cases of dementia could be prevented if more people looked after their brain health throughout life, according to an international study in the Lancet. It lists nine key risk factors including lack of education, hearing loss, smoking and physical inactivity. The study is being presented at the Alzheimer’s Association International Conference in London. By 2050, 131 million people could be living with dementia globally. There are estimated to be 47 million people with condition at the moment.agy-szkenner-1050x846


9 facts of dementia risk

  • Mid-life hearing loss – responsible for 9% of the risk
  • Failing to complete secondary education – 8%
  • Smoking – 5%
  • Failing to seek early treatment for depression – 4%
  • Physical inactivity – 3%
  • Social isolation – 2%
  • High blood pressure – 2%
  • Obesity – 1%
  • Type 2 diabetes – 1%

DTI_white_matter_tracks_sThese risk factors – which are thought to be modifiable – add up to 35%. The other 65% of dementia risk is beyond the individual’s control. Source: Lancet Commission on dementia prevention, intervention or care. Though dementia is diagnosed in later life, brain changes usually begin to develop years before,” said lead author Prof Gill Livingston, from University College London. “Acting now will vastly improve life for people with dementia and families and, in doing so, will transform the future of society.” The report, which combines the work of 24 international experts, says lifestyle factors can play a major role in increasing or reducing an individual’s dementia risk. It examines the benefits of building a “cognitive reserve”, which means strengthening brain’s networks so it can continue to function in later life despite damage.Eve LairdImage captionEve Laird is taking part in a study on how to prevent dementia. Eve Laird, from Dumfries, is worried about dementia because her mum is living with the condition. She decided to make some changes to her lifestyle. “I’m terrible for eating processed foods and takeaways and I’ve really been trying to cut back on that.”I definitely drink a lot more water than I used to – and I don’t drink as much coffee now. “I actually took part in the Edinburgh marathon. For that I joined the Dumfries running club – I go there once a week.” She says she felt so much better for the exercise, and for improving her diet. “I felt a lot healthier and mentally sharper as well. It’s something I’d really like to continue, but it is hard to stay on track.” “I just think the small changes can make such a big difference.”Graph on forecast of dementia growth globallyFailure to complete secondary education was a major risk factor, and the authors suggest that individuals who continue to learn throughout life are likely to build additional brain reserves. Another major risk factor is hearing loss in middle age researchers say this can deny people a cognitively rich environment and lead to social isolation and depression, which are among other modifiable risk factors for dementia. Another key message from the report is that what is good for the heart is good for the brain.brainome

‘Positive changes’

Not smoking, doing exercise, keeping a healthy weight, treating high blood pressure and diabetes can all reduce the risk of dementia and cardiovascular disease, and cancer. The researchers say they did not have enough data to include dietary factors or alcohol in their calculations but believe both could be important. Dr Doug Brown, director of research at Alzheimer’s Society, said: “Though it’s not inevitable, dementia is currently set to be the 21st Century’s biggest killer. We all need to be aware of the risks and start making positive lifestyle changes.” Dr David Reynolds, chief scientific officer at Alzheimer’s Research UK, said: “Alongside prevention research, we must continue to invest in research to find a life-changing treatment for people with this devastating condition.”

BOTTLED SCENT DATED IN ADVANCE

jar filled with padding, hand-labelled Jan 19 2015A woman with dementia who went missing in Florida was found by a police dog in a matter of minutes, because she bottled her scent in advance. The Citrus County Sheriff’s Office said the woman used specialist scent preservation kit. It can hold a person’s scent for up to seven years. She stored the scent two-and-a-half years ago and a picture of the jar showed it was dated January 2015. The scent preservation kits involve rubbing a pad on a person’s underarm, sealing it in a sterile jar so police dogs have the reliable scent to smell before looking for a missing person. Manufacturers say they work better and more quickly than articles of clothing, because they are not contaminated by other people’s smells or smells from the environment. Dogs have a stronger sense of smell than humans and working police dogs are trained to sniff out drugs, people and in some cases corpses. So in this case, the missing person was found and the dog earned a celebratory ice cream.dog with ice creamThe dog, Ally, was rewarded with an ice cream after finding the woman.

LACK OF SLEEP LONG-TERM EFFECT 

Lack of sleep long-term causes parts of brain’s synapses to be ‘eaten’ by other brain cells, according to a new study by researchers at the Marche Polytechnic University in Italy. Astrocytes are a cell in the brain that clean out worn-out cells and debris. Scientists studying the brains of mice found these cells were more active when the animals had been deprived of sleep, breaking down more of the brain’s connections. “We show for the first time that portions of synapses are literally eaten by astrocytes because of sleep loss,” research leader Michele Bellesi told New Scientist. That is not necessarily a bad thing, as most of the synapses affected were larger and more mature, like old pieces of furniture and probably need more attention, cleaning said Bellesi. The more worrying finding was that ‘microglial’ brain cells, which seek out damaged cells and debris, were also more active in brain experiencing chronic sleep deprivation. “We already know sustained microglial activation observed in Alzheimer’s or other forms of neurodegeneration,” Bellesi said. And previous research found chronic sleep deprivation increases so-called plaques in the brain thought to be a main cause of Alzheimer’s and other dementias.agy-szkenner-1050x846

  • Sleeplessness and associated lack of productivity costs UK economy over £1billion a year, according to a study from Benson Beds.
  • UK adults lose 200,000 working days a year due to sleep issues.
  • 66% of insomniacs cite work stress as reason for inability to sleep.
  • A study from the Sleep Health Foundation has found a third of adults have made a mistake at work due to tiredness.

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BE HAPPY IN YOURSELF

Be happy in yourself and do not blame others because life is not only about you exclusively to demand always a 24hour self-centred attention from others who love you. A trend of right to entitlement to be happy at expense of others causes problems in families, society of online. The happiness demanding attention is ruining relationships. Some demand a nonstop unrealistic pressure from loved ones all moments be spent only with them day or night. So time taken to do things or working to provide for them is considered ‘dehumanizing neglect’ for not catering always for them only. Onus of their life is always shifted to others to become totally responsible for them. So like emotional babies, do not realise that growing up means taking a full responsibility for actions. Therefore permanently blame others for problems of their lives or for being born in wrong the environment to undesired parents whose fault made them as they are. Do not put all the anger, and bitterness on those who care about you most. As long as they receive help from everyone at all times without need to help others they feel fine.58216d1a9df4cedf435f5d8a037d7cc4 Dare others ask them to be patient or to wait for their turn often become angry or agitated throwing things at people or breaking things to hurt owners. These behaviour often starts from tantrums of terrible twos not corrected by their innocence not to offend them. Some sulk and cry for hours on end or, develop headaches from crying so cycle is repeated over and over again. A bad upbringing ranges from the spectrum of lack of discipline, correction, ADHD or autism not diagnosed early taking its toll into adulthood. Pride, ego, defiance, anti establishment becomes the norm so used to getting own ways for too long. A genuine effort to support and help them seen as intrusion although often naive of the outcome of their actions. Most of the time the very family considered not good enough for them end up picking up the pieces of their trail of damage to others. Always in denial of reality never aware of effects of their behaviour on a family, relatives, friends or children. In extreme cases traumatize or hurt others incapable of understanding risks or the consequences of an action in advance before it happens. Constantly operate in high-strung emotion demand that those around them always walk on egg shells. Unaware792e6019ecd1c629c0ad3c773ee524ca of social rules etiquette unable to tolerate if attention or a conversation is not only about them. So emotionally draining others yet complaining about lack of attention from those doing their best to live with them. Underlying this state of mind is influence of the liberal views of deception that they are their own self-made people unaccountable to nobody so must depend exclusively only on their own ideas, feelings choices egos without recognising impact effect of damage in hurting others. If not dealt with grow into megalomania, tyrants in extreme cases never content with their lot in life. Always want more and more beyond realistic expectations or available resources in life. Suck others dry but still moan about not being given enough attention. Emotionally draining accurately described ‘manic behaviour of such a person does not understand brain function process of information or instructions properly in the interest of the good of all others. be-happyUnhappiness causes bile toxic chemicals to affect mood swing, sugar withdrawal symptoms, substance abuses affecting genetics of children from some parents, alcohol, poor communication skills, lack of maturity, background experience that intrude into adult years if unchecked. Other times consequence of their sheer pathological wickedness stems from the habitual actions since childhood. Sadly, in schools, emphasis is more on a head knowledge more than personal growth development and emotional maturity required for a longterm living. Another factor is the attitude of certain men seen as powerful if they are rebellious to authority. Some ‘success’ sometimes equated to a bully who tramples over all others bulldozed their way to achieve their goal, be it on corporate ladder, or in family, church, abusers manipulate or attack those who stand up to them. 57c69b8d9a2cff284ba95ed892061acaIt is predicted in Bible by Jesus during the end time lawlessness will abound as such people become more haughty, and disobedient to authority hate discipline, lovers of self more than Lovers of God, high minded ever learning but unable to grasp truth. So cannot understand basic rules, respect, consideration for others. Always insists on their way or no way, self-destruct snapping because they refuse to help or correction to save them from themselves. Truth hurts but God says His people are destroyed for lack of proper Godly knowledge and proper understanding of daily roles in relation to others on Earth. Confusion today in society and wars come from inability to compromise or to put others first. Some insist their way is only way manipulate or force others put under pressure but indulge without listening or valuing others due to greed, love of money, fear. Worse of all undergirding greed motives spur them on to destroy others for their selfish gains. It is well-known in  living history many lives destroyer by not living and let live lifestyle agreement to agree to disagree to live in peace chucked out of window.

THE PROCESS OF DIVORCE

The majority of the arguments centre around the division of assetsDivorce is an unpleasant process more awful when separating couples cannot reach agreement, engage in litigation. Suddenly the love of your life becomes opponent and contributions to marriage is pored over by lawyers and potentially judges. Divorce can become gendered family lawyers will be acutely aware of the unfortunate tendency to refer to the ‘breadwinning husband’ homemaking wife’ This does not reflect the reality of many modern marriages but often it is the wife who undertakes most childcare and domestic duties, while the husband has created most of the wealth for the family. Most people think of the actual divorce as the most stressful element but is resolved fairly swiftly. For most married couples this reflects the basic principle of their union: you are a team, you share responsibilities and funds, and make joint decisions. So what happens if not on the same side? It was a question posed by most cases.workdivorcecomp-medium_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8

Millionaire businessman Mr Work was ordered to pay his wife half his £140m fortune in 2015, but fought the court’s decision, saying his wife ‘stayed home’ during 2 decades long marriage, during which she raised their two children. He argued he made all the family’s money and claimed to posses quality of genius enabled him to do this without support of his wife. Court of Appeal disagreed so dismissed Mr Work’s appeal. He must pay half of his fortune to ex wife, after judge accepts she is a ‘good homemaker and good mother,’ adding it was down to her willingness to move to Japan the husband was able to amass his wealth.78630843.jpg

The important decision for stay-at-home mothers raises questions of how judges should consider the spouses’ respective contributions in ‘big money’ divorce cases. Most people think actual divorce most stressful element but is usually resolved fairly swiftly. Majority of the arguments centre around division of assets or some technicalities or division of everything couple collectively own and earned during marriage. England and Wales is known to be one of the most generous jurisdictions there is. London is the divorce capital of world for fairness is central to process and in cases each party’s financial needs are met by the assets available, the starting point for division is 50:50. The Court has wide discretion when making financial orders and considers a range of factors. One factor is the contribution that both the husband and wife made. Thanks to new verdict, it is now settled law there should be no discrimination between breadwinner and homemaker. Staying at home, cooking, cleaning, reading to children is as important as working 12 hours a day on trading floor earning £1m a year. Mothers feel they make special contribution of ‘exceptional quality’ every day. Over the years various arguments used by mostly wealthy husbands to convince courts is award to their spouse to be less than 50 per cent. The favourite known as special contribution involves arguing financial input to marriage was significant award should be increased in their favour. To be successful need to amass significant wealth and show they used ‘exceptional quality’ or ‘genius’ to achieve this.divorce-370559.jpg

What about homemakers? How does this not discriminate against the wife, at home with the children every day? The wife quietly supporting her husband in his endeavours? What about spouse who sacrificed own successful career? Or those who are juggling both a career and childcare? Many mothers no doubt feel they make a special contribution of ‘exceptional quality’ daily. The Court of Appeal has confirmed this principle still stands though many hope it will in due course either limited or abolished by the Supreme Court. Litigation is bad enough without having to rummage into the detail of who did what and when to justify their contribution. In addition to cases where wife receives a substantial lump sum settlement such as Mandy Gray will get. In England and Wales one of the attractive forums in the world is for the financially weaker spouse paid maintenance for life. This concept is alien to nearby jurisdictions. Just across the border in Scotland, the maximum maintenance term is three years. However, this ‘meal ticket for life’ is becoming rarer. The Court looks at each spouse’s income and earning capacity. Consideration is given to whether or not having a qualification worked recently or assumes childcare responsibilities. The test is whether, in light of all these circumstances payee adjust to their financial independence without undue hardship. Judges want to see hard evidence of efforts of receiving party to maximise earning capacity.Family.jpg
Some wives may think its unfair if was agreed during the marriage that they would be supported financially and made sacrifices to this effect. Others may welcome opportunity to re-enter the working world; potentially a new lease of life after divorce. Although returning to work, for women, is unduly tough – despite the glut of ‘returnships’ now on offer from big companies. What is clear is society moves on so does the family law. Undoubtedly the problem is focus continues to be trying to achieve fairness for both husbands and wives. One imagines Ms Gray would agree that this has been achieved.

5 things about divorce Ayesha Vardag

1. It takes longer and be more harrowing than you think.

If everything can be agreed then it is possible for a case to be resolved in a few weeks but more likely exchanging disclosure, attending court hammering out a settlement will take around a year, and often more, and it can really wear you down. It is a marathon endeavour so important to keep your spirits up.

2. Ending marriage and finance issues are completely separate.

The reasons for the marriage ending will almost never affect the financial outcome and the court will not punish a spouse for marital indiscretions.

3. Courts less glamorous than you imagine.

Most English courts mahogany-panelled Victorian masterpieces, but most poorly maintained post-war monstrosities with hot, airless waiting rooms and windows that do not open, where you wait for hours on end, the tension is unbearable. Arbitration or a private family dispute resolution offers chance to move case to salubrious surroundings to settle it.

4. Nothing is “off the record”.

You are required to be fully frank about finances so lawyers are not allowed to help hide assets or lie to partner. To courts, honesty really is the best policy.

5. Can be cathartic experience.

Many people assume that divorce is an upsetting business. While it is never easy to bring a marriage to an end, for many the chance to move forward and build a new chapter of their life can be a rejuvenating experience. Usually the clients get happier, stronger and visibly empowered as process goes forward. Above all during the divorce ongoing conflict between parents can affect the children’s mental health, development of social and emotional skills, academic attainment and can impact their ability to form future relationships. It can also damage physical health, lasting through their adult lives into next generation as it starts early. Agreeing to disagree for the sake of the children is very helpful.

 

Alexandra Hirst is a solicitor specialising in family law at Boodle Hatfield

MOVING IN TOGETHER

10-Signs-Its-a-Good-Idea-to-Move-in-with-Your-PartnerMoving in and living together is seen as most exciting time ever if a relationship is going well. Often many factors include being closer together because deeply in love and economic reasons. After falling in love the next level is planning future together hopefully for life. The focus of excitement to see it happen absolutely is amazing. You just cannot wait to cook dinner together, feel super domestic, and yeah, maybe you want to show off to friends you not only landed an awesome boyfriend but committing to each other even more. You know that you definitely deserve to be happy about this and even sure you are right because you got far to this point. You may think you can still mess things up or make some mistakes but decides to go ahead anyway. This is often the case for some people when one is totally fixated on these things so your relationship does not end. Researchers find 15 useful points couples must note when moving in together.Young Adult Using Laptop

1. Thinks Life Stays Same

Many think life at the beginning of their relationship stays in the same romantic phase permanently in state of euphoria. Hence choices and planning of decisions are based on utopia mindset of perfect happiness. Being in love means to them everything harmonises perfectly in state of synchronicity. The truth is anytime a big step is taken in relationship it means things are going to change. It is not a bad thing at all but means you have to admit that something has shifted and there is a new dynamic you need to deal with it. So a lot of couples make the mistake of not thinking anything changes when they decide to live together. Again, it is not anything negative it is just something to keep an eye on. By bringing two lives together essentially each has a different habit when it comes to how you live. So maybe you are a morning person and you kind of annoy everyone but hey, they are jealous and your partner is a total night owl. That means things can change a little bit. You might have to go to bed at separate times or find other times of day to hang out. You have to just figure this out but it’s definitely possible.15.jpg

2. SuperHigh Expectation

Most relationship definitely face super high expectations of each other some almost humanly impossible. So having super high expectations and partner not meeting them causes anger, frustrations and dissatisfaction. Maybe they do not know what you want them to do so they cannot meet them as they are not mind readers. Maybe they cannot meet them because you want too much and so they cannot give you what you are looking for. Unrealistic expectations can ruin totally or break a relationship. When you move in, you do not want to have crazy high expectations that no sane person could ever meet, let alone the person you love. Many couples make this mistake. They think moving in together totally solves problems in their relationship just for a while but think the negative completely disappears except the very best stuff. It is not real life so not the right way to go. Think of MasterChef with the identical ingredients, scales, cookers, tools, recipe given to a team of professionals. After watching practical demonstration of the exact recipe perfectly made by a gourmet chef their meals never look or taste the same. A certain level of experience and a personal touch always produces better quality. In the same manner, nobody can perfectly replicate exact clone of loved one no matter how deeply in love they may be. Worth noting love alone is not enough to transform anyone overnight into an image of fantasy partner existing inside one’s head. Some people never think anyone is perfect for them so need to create one themselves.   moving-in.jpg
3. Doing It For The Money

Sometimes it seems a good idea to move into a place together because financially it is a good idea. But you have to make sure you think about this. Just because you find a place that you are absolutely in love with does mean that you should make decision that you can both afford so check long-term if good idea to move in together. First of all, before you decide to live together you need to have a talk with written agreement to ensure you keep up with whatever decisions made. This means that both of you are willing and ready. Often times if you fall in love with a place and think that this is a good idea before taking the necessary steps you will realize that it can cause a whole lot of issues for the two of you. Make sure you are not moving at a faster pace than your relationship is ready for.moving-in-together.jpg

4. Respecting Differences

Again, you and your partner might have way more differences than you know and those things only become super- clear after you move in together. You could be a neat freak and they could be furthest thing from that. You must respect fact they thinking you are nagging always on their case to clean up or do dishes, if not you are asking for a major relationship trouble. You have to respect differences and talk about this properly. You can say something like, “Hey, I get it does not bother you if dirty dishes are left in the sink, but I do not love it, so maybe we can take turns.” If they truly love you so hopefully does since you are now living together is a pretty massive step. You, need to understand where both come from to negotiate teamwork and learn to agree to disagree on other differences.article-0-1842F93C00000578-336_634x373.jpg

5. Seeing Each Other 24/7

When couples move in together because they want to spend more time together, after already spending time hanging out and staying over at each other’s places they figure out it is time and they might as well live together. It just makes total and complete sense as a really great next step. But if you think moving in with a partner  means that you should see each other 24/7, you are on the wrong track. Yes, you love one another and yes, you want to see each other as much as you possibly can. But you both still need to live your own lives and see your families and see your friends and keep up your hobbies and interests. Do not just drop everything and everyone in your life now because you live with your partner. That is asking for a total disaster. Be honest about how much space you need and do the same partner and family.55_dating_advice-909388-TwoByOne

6.Nagging & Complaining

Pointing out what is wrong instead of an appreciation of what is right is nagging. Why ignore a 90% strong points to zoom in on 10% weaknesses as long as it is not a risk to life or aggressive behaviour that causes harm or any danger. Be honest are you perfect yourself? Nagging is the projection of self onto others to compel them to behave exactly like you. In other words you want your identical clone to just like you. You already know this is making a total and complete stereotype, so honestly, why would you do this? Do you want your partner to hate you and resent you and eventually leave you? You definitely want to cut this out and soon. A lot of couples make mistake of nagging each other when they move in together, so yes, it definitely goes both ways and guys can do this, too, even if you don’t think so. Your might ask to chill out a little bit about chores and taking care of apartment or might say you are hanging out with your friends too much and nag you about how you need to spend more time at home. Do your best and say you both need to communicate properly and that neither one of you should make the other one feel bad.First-Time-House-Buyers.jpg

7. Both Being Honest

Sometimes couples living together are not totally honest about what they each want. Maybe wants a certain apartment but your partner hates it so did not push for it or vice versa. Is not ideal situation if both move into an apartment and you do not both absolutely adore it, but yeah, it does happen. If you’ve moved in with someone before, you’ve probably made the mistake of not being honest about the kind of living accommodations that you’re looking for, and if you haven’t lived with anyone yet, you definitely will in the future. It is just one of the things that usually happens for good reason to make partner happy so wants the same thing for you, so you tiptoe around this kind of issue and act like everything is totally fine. Until, of course, it all comes crashing down later on always be honest because if not you pay it for it later.first_time_home_buyer_north_carolina_350

8. Treating As Y/our Place

Avoid mistake of acting an apartment is still totally yours if your partner moved in with you, you are not alone there. The same thing applies if you move into their apartment or you got a totally new place altogether. The truth is a place belongs to both of you now and you definitely have to get used to that. You cannot just invite people over without telling your partner and vice versa, and you cannot decorate it however, cannot randomly rearrange furniture without telling other person. You just cannot unless you want to start a huge argument and then, by all means, go ahead. This is part of what makes living together so new and difficult. It is not all fun and games as there are some real decisions to make with your partner. Even if you take initiative or want to surprise it is good to have approval out of respect not belittle partner. Hopefully, you will get used to realizing you share space now and things will be okay.Happy-Homeowners-(Website)-77267-1

9.Being Choosy & Picky

Being choosy, picky and overdemanding in the name of perfection drains partner emotionally. If you refuse to put up any painting your partner’s grandmother had given them or even painted because you claim it is super ugly and does not go with the rest of the apartment decor, you are not only being a jerk but making also a huge mistake. Same goes if actions any favourite pillow means a lot to you, so super attached to it. Many couples make mistake of deciding to live tougher and then getting super picky about furniture and decorations. It is easy to not see the forest from the trees, as they say to care so much about small irrelevant things that you do not realize the big picture of what really matters. The big picture of course, is that you love someone enough to live with them. That is no small thing. Choose safe well-structured wardrobes to use without falling apart easily posing risk especially to small children or infirm in household. Ensure best quality and durable safe bed/rooms, electric, gas pipes checked to ensure safety. Be realistic and do repairs regularly for peace of mind.Rido.jpg

10.Housewarming Parties

You want to have a housewarming party when you move into a new place and so desire goes up about a million points as you are moving in with your partner. You want to housewarming party, asking for tons of trouble and do not realize how much this strain on your relationship. The same thing will definitely happen if your partner wants to throw party earlier than you do or tries to control the whole thing. Talk to each other openly honestly about when you both want to throw this party and definitely think plan together the details and costs or clean up after.man-woman-floor-boxes-lying-down.jpg

11. Being A United Team 

Yeah, you have been living alone for a while now, and even though you’ve been in this happy and serious relationship, you have still had your own space. You could do what you want, when you want, and you made decisions about going to sleep or when to cook or when to clean without having to ask someone else if it  is okay. But now you are part of a team and it is not just your space anymore, so  that is a huge change. A lot of couples make mistake of not acting like they are part of a team now that they moved in together. You cannot just rearrange your entire living room without talking to the partner or decide to retile the bathroom floor without them running it by you first. You have to talk things out and figure them out together. If you do not want to do it this living arrangement might not work neither will relationship.article-2537031-0409F75F00000514-609_634x376.jpg

12.On The Best Behaviour

Yes, of course, you want to be on your best behaviour around other people, but around your romantic partner? Why would not just be yourself to relax a little bit more? A lot of couples think  when they move in together, they should not walk around in ugly sweats anymore or do the things they used to do. But that is a huge mistake and so wrong. You are sharing your life with your partner now, along with your apartment and deserve to be yourself and be real as possible. You can absolutely break out your ugliest sweatpants or slippers and just might become inside joke between two of you, which is totally cool. You should not be afraid to relax and act the way you did before when you just lived alone both do the same thing within reason, of course. You may not want to see the messiest so hopefully can reign it a little bit you two.couple-fighting-on-couch

13. Fighting Too Much

Some couples move in together and then automatically start fighting too much. The thing is this does not have to happen at all so can absolutely work hard to prevent it. It is easier to fight with someone you see all the time every single day. You expect them to figure things out so there is no reason to tell them exactly what is on your mind but you should be honest all the time. And yes, honesty is a good idea yet there is a fine line between honesty and being kind of mean and cruel. Do not be honest you hurt your partner’s feelings. If you both just share intimacy together but cannot seem stop bickering about little stuff, you need to set some ground rules and boundaries. Talk about how you will divide up chores, domestic stuff like cooking and cleaning. Until you figure that out you will keep fighting so not good for anyone.cohabiting_couple_182624410

14. Expecting Romance

This is a huge mistake lots of couples make, and is a pretty obvious one. Of course, you think things are going to be super romantic 24/7 when actually living with one you love the most in the world. But that does not take into account being sick, being exhausted, being stressed out at work and general life stuff. Moving in together is kind of like getting a taste of what is married life so you definitely will deal with a lot of things you never had to deal with before. You must be open and honest with each other about literally all you are dealing with, whether you want to or not. If you do not sleep together  every single night or have the hottest love life ever, that is not a bad thing. That means your relationship matures as love changes and gets back to normal. A point to remember is libido changes with small children so find new hide outs for timing intimacy passion. You need to be creative as not same as just the two of you before raising family.

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15. Have Zero Problems

You cannot have children then expect the home to remain as if you live in a show room because the house is an investment to sell on. Some do not let children sit on sofa, play, roll on floor in living room so raised like little soldier’s in ‘the sound of music.’ Perfect children and families only happily ever after relationship happens in TV drama, Mills and Boon’s romantic novels, real life is warts and all. Couples think once they make important decision to move in together are truly committing to each other so will have zero problems. If things get more complicated when you move in with someone it is normal but, that is not a bad thing at all unless you make it one. Both are own whole people and with your own thoughts, feelings, ideas and you have your own schedules and routines. Those are bound to clash so that is okay. That is what is supposed to happen. Do your best to be patient as the two of you get used to your new living situation and work out the issues within a good frame of time. Just because you are having a bit of trouble getting used to living together does not mean things are heading in a negative direction. Some recommend not moving in together before marriage often it does not work out in favour of the majority   who tried due to lack of commitment. At other times couples need support of the family members and friends to survive. So it is wise in both best interest not to exclude isolate or burn love bridges as you are too deeply involved to make room for any other person. That is too close for comfort so can suffocate the relationship. Above all, God said it is not good to be alone so seek God’s Face to guide and help you build up a sound foundation. Do not let your picker or physical looks attraction be the only deciding factor of relationship. A reliable interdependent relationship nurtures love essential to a mature love. Life is dynamic so changes take place daily in both if children are involved. Create play corner, child space include learning and music. Continue to date once a month minimum and get a baby sitter and do not call every second instead of relaxing with your partner. If possible for stability of children choose a location nearby with schools, church and parks locally. Aim for property longterm so children will not miss out on forming durable friendships and family support. Pay closer attention to household chores like removing rubbish. USD multilayered plastic bags if suitable inlaid with paper to soak wet waste that is not made into compost. Separate to recycle useful gabbage because one man’s thrash is another’s treasure. Keep baby waste out doors in safe covered bins do not breath it indoors including removing cat litter from tray daily for good hygiene practice.Small-trash-can-with-our-bag__pp-300x300bin5final1-1024x769.jpg

16. Household Duties

Shopping, cooking, laundry and cleaning duties among others must meticulously planned and not left to chance. Both will do certain tasks better so agree and make a to do list to remind yourself if not able to hire a housekeeper to do it for you. A happy life depends on smooth  running of the home and good time schedules as part of a team working together. Simple tips include advance preparation to be ahead of time. A dustbin layered with many bags with disinfectant in between each saves time to remove rubbish. Also clear water closet with clean tissue on top of unflashed loo, push down brush left in during flashing to cut the cost of calling plumber every five minutes. It prevents ungastly sight of a heavy soiling stubborn stains on brush that refuse to be shifted by flashing alone. Persist and repeat process many times until clean for next use. Never let toilet brush directly touch loo instead use tissues to form a barrier to keep the brush clean from harbouring germs and bacteria. After flashing loo, use fresh clean tissue to pick and wipe handle, disinfect brush after cleaning and wash hands thoroughly. Soak brush in a disinfectant  container holding brush in the toilet to continue daily disinfectation. If at first you do not succeed try again to leave brush inside bowl with tissue covering loo and flash but do not stuff lavatory with tissues out of sheer frustration to cost you plumber fees. If not sure what to do leave it with the experts in case it is a pipe blockage elsewhere. Life can be easily managed if you know how.