THE WORKPLACE NURSERIES

n-ikuboss-a-20160509With the long vacation approaching fast many working parents are faced with a dilemma of childcare. The high cost of childcare means some parents are better off at home caring for children. It is impossible to afford cost of hiring child minders or nannies like the few privileged. Parents must work at the same time looking after their children or their income support is cut off. This is because 24/7 full-time care of children is not legally recognised as paid work in Britain among many countries. Children go to nursery part-time paid for parents and it seems almost punitive to have a child in modern times. Children miss out on such expensive nursery places they cannot afford. Many parents are in debt and policy makers, often males, do not understand the depth of nurturing needs of babies and children. Wages are too meagre to pay rent, buy food and pay bills for most in these advanced wealthy countries throwing away tons of perfectly good food and material things everyday. Bankno_photo_4 balance seems to take precedence over priceless human lives. Worst of all in these countries the parents who leave children home alone are arrested and jailed but children are allowed free to roam the streets among paedophile predators and drug dealers. So with summer holidays parents are worried about safety of children and looking for relatives, family or friends to help look after children. The hardest job in the world is caring for children because they require 24/7 supervision. Anyone who cares for their, children, cooking, feeding, teaching, bathing, hospital appointments, doing laundry, garden, shopping, chores, running errands each day etc, plus looking after family other needs knows it is not easy or simple as often dismissed as unemployed person. 6a00d8341c4eab53ef01b7c7f5bfef970b-800wiHuman life of parents seems further displaced by machines yet unemployed must still pay their nursery fees, bills and mortgages through no fault of their own. So wonder what will happen if all the women in the world refused to have children due to attitude of government towards parents. There will be shortage of wives for men as happens in China and Japan. Germany and Russia after the war had to devise better maternity packages to entice women to repopulate the nation. With longer living of the elderly due to better medical care governments must address birthrate provisions with long-term vision into the future. Children and young people will be leaders and the carers in the future. So a great investment to nurture them today to help prepare them for their future roles. Treating children as unwanted nuisance draining state Resources is the greatest mistake every nation. Ignoring them as not an urgent issue keeps many out of schools and illiterate. Over 11 million children are out of school in Nigeria the highest record in the world. Most parents pay for education, buy books and pay exam fees so do not enjoy the privilege few. nursery3Yet education is taken for granted by the ones given their right to in education. In order not to lose vital front line staff it is essential to build company nursery to be included in building design by their architects. Employers can adapt their buildings to meet nursery standard to solve complex issues addressed by some compassionate companies. Their highly valued staff are retained for their input them after childbirth so children from 3-12 months provided for in workplace. Those not able to gain place must work from home to supervise children. These countries do not allow children to be left at home alone unsupervised like many other countries in other parts of the world. It is against the law and a nightmare for the majority of working parents without the flexible working hours to solve childcare cost problems. Affected by credit crunch and austerity budget cuts, that does not seem to dent the pockets of a privileged few. Holiday season makes childcare major problem for families. So recently, 20th July 2017 wrote on workplace child care facility in a bank in London.Amanda Wong, Goldman Sachs

Image caption Amanda Wong and her daughter Naomi use the Goldman Sachs nursery. So Head into nursery into the Goldman Sachs building on London’s Fleet Street and you’re greeted by wall to wall marble, a bank of receptionists and a water feature in the London City. But wind your way past lifts through an anonymous fire door and you enter a world that couldn’t be less corporate. The sounds, colours and laughter of a nursery. The Goldman Sachs Children’s Centre is both incongruous anomaly as the only on site childcare facility in the Square Mile. Started in 2003 to offer back up provision for staff, it takes kids between the ages of three months and 12 years old. The expense or regulatory requirements for such a facility are the main reasons why it is unique – and peculiar to a bank with deep pockets. This is part of a day of BBC coverage looking at the cost of holiday childcare. Find out at bbc.co.uk/business or follow conversation on social media using the hashtag #Childcare. According to latest figures from the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development, only 5% of businesses in the UK offer childcare in workplace. Anecdotally, this is almost exclusively made up of large employers because they have the money and space to allow for it. They include government departments, Royal Mail, a variety of universities, Microsoft and Toyota. There are tax breaks for those companies that do.Goldman Sachs Children's Centre

Childcare facility at the Goldman Sachs takes children from three months to 12 years old. Employers who include their childcare costs as the part of employee remuneration package, attract tax and National Insurance and obligations. But employers that offer in-workplace nurseries do not and they get relief for the day-to-day running and capital costs of providing the service, for example heating and lighting, and premises.

Flexible work

It might be seen as a perk but an onsite childcare flourished in the immediate post-war years out of necessity. A labour shortage meant women were needed to work and factories and mills started to offer the creches that allowed them to. Dr Laura Paterson of Oxford University, who specialises in history of women’s employment, says childcare provision by businesses died away in the 1950s as the need for women became less acute and the way they worked changed. The. “Part-time and flexible working hours reduced need for workplace nurseries to some extent,” she says, “Women who worked from the 1950s to the 70s tell us they did part-time jobs when children were young to fit around school hours. They worked in the evening so their Goldman Sachs Children's Centrepartner could care for their children. Goldman Sachs are allowed 20 days of emergency childcare a year. But what about the people working full-time at Goldman? For Amanda Wong, who project manages new trades for the firm and is a mum to 12-month-old Naomi, children’s centre has been a lifesaver. Ms Wong put her daughter into nursery same day she returned to work, shortly after Naomi turned nine months. “It has made me feel a lot more relaxed and mentally ready to come back to work a lot earlier than I would have and I think it helps new mums with separation guilt or anxieties about returning to work,” she says. Though she admits it is not ideal to take a one-year-old on the Tube through central London each day. Yet it makes a great difference child is within reach in vicinity giving parents peace of mind. Assured the child is in safe hands, well taken care of by employer pecks.6295314-3x2-940x627

Ishmeet Rayit, who manages Goldman Sachs Children’s Centre, tells me they have a higher staff ratio than Ofsted regulations require (one-to-two in the baby room rather than one-to-three), because they need to make children who might not be familiar with them, settle in quickly. Of the 5,500 people who work in the office, about a quarter are registered users. Each parent at the bank gets 20 free “back-up” days to use the centre, renewed each year. The most coveted facility in the centre is the after-school and holiday programme where the 5-12 year olds come. It’s stuffed full of bilingual books and toys, showing just how multicultural the bank is. “The kids call it an office day,” Ms Rayit says. “They get taken out for lunch by their parents and they make friends here.” Parents are only allowed to book 10 days of this holiday service at a time, the room can accommodate 12, and the waiting list to get in is long.Goldman Sachs office in London

Goldman Sachs is in two old newspaper offices on London’s Fleet Street. Sally Boyle, the international head of human resources at Goldman, says it is a “significant cost” to the firm – but it is worth it. We are definitely seen it have an impact on retention of a smallish group of women but important women who wouldn’t have stayed I suspect if they hadn’t been able to manage that childcare in a way that they can here,” she says. The centre is run by Bright Horizons, largest provider of workplace nurseries in the UK. Goldman pays it a monthly management fee, and parents who need childcare beyond that paid for by the bank, deal directly with the nursery. A spokesperson for company says demand for onsite care increasing. “In today’s competitive talent market, recruiting and retaining exceptional people is high priority for organisations. “On site childcare has been identified as a key factor in encouraging parents to return to work and, in turn, helping organisations to thrive”.

‘Chronic shortage’

But Rohan Silva, whose Second Home drop-in work spaces are planning in-house creches, says the barriers to entry today of setting up onsite childcare are enormous. “The Ofsted accreditation process takes at least three months, and costs hundreds of pounds in registration costs and consultancy fees. In addition, there are multiple additional inspections each year, plus a chronic shortage of trained staff,” he says.Second Home nursery plansSecond Home found designing its onsite creches difficultAnother challenge is the fact that so few architects and designers have ever designed childcare facilities, because so few are created by property developers. That means thinking from scratch the issues around access and child-friendly materials,” Mr Silva says. He believes it’s a vital way of allowing more parents to work. “The UK’s rate of maternal employment is 27% lower than other Western countries making childcare more accessible will make a big difference. “This is especially true of single parents – who are much more likely to be unemployed, and for whom access to childcare is the biggest barrier to finding work” Mr Silva adds. A recent Institute of Directors survey backs this up. It found over half of its members think that the cost of childcare hurts careers – particularly those of women. It is currently consulting on whether to open a creche for its members. For now, though unlike those women working in factories after the war, the option of taking your child to work is offered at a company’s largesse rather than out of compulsion. And it’s reserved for a privileged few.

CELEBRATING LIVING DEAD

The living dead are celebrated in great style with pomp in funeral ceremony so no expense is spared in a send off party. The people alive strongly believe they must do whatever is necessary to bury the departed in a grand style. A list is provided to include their future needs in next life because of fear they watch over those alive left behind. But some express concern that the dead seems more celebrated than the living. A true story recently happened after John fell ill and sought care from a private clinic when the local hospital did not provide the urgent care he needed because of the waiting list queue. His course of treatment was prolonged as required for his full recovery.  Later, as John did not work so affected by his health, he sent a message to his place of work but his wages was not enough to cover his medical expenses. Eventually, John approached his family in vain. The delay took so long John became resident patient. The doctor took care of John’s needs beyond the professional duty of care. After several attempts to get help from the family in vain, John’s doctor sent a message to his family he was dead. But it did not take long for John’s family to charter a hearse and a bus full of John’s relatives to travel over to claim his body at the clinic. To their shock and horror John was alive and well and released to his family who really thought he died. It was an interesting story as some people thought it was unethical for a doctor to trick John’s relatives to recover his cost. Whatever people felt about the doctor’s actions, it reveals attitude towards dead people who seem to be revered more at times than the living in some cases. This incident highlights concerns especially about the extent to which funerals are invested in more than taking care of a person to the same extent when alive. It is an issue that confronts some nations concerning fear of the dead haunting them if not properly sent off by proper funeral rites and ceremonies. This is also a matter of big business for the event planners sometimes funerals are bigger than weddings. The fabulously rich and wealthy can afford the costs of funerals. Yet still the generous culture of giving means people still give freely to the family as part of their culture. As, the credit crunch affects most people, rising funeral costs means people cover costs by donations, selling land, assets, investments, in other cases taking loans to contribute to costs of the funerals at hand. At times families or communities have five or more funerals to attend at the weekends. This means contributions are distributed among the bereaved or in certain cases, so one has to prioritize closest ones to their family. This trend is so serious now funerals are postponed from 6 months to 10 years in extreme cases to prepare for the celebrations. Meanwhile the family pays exorbitant mortuary fees for embalming body kept for months or years until fixed time for burial ceremonies. Planning takes place for months and years until the suitable time is arranged for all necessary dignitaries to attend. Meanwhile, food is ordered, costumes organised for changing garbs of dead person many times over. The family members, friends and relatives choose fabrics to accordingly to wear if a joyful funeral of white representing a long life or the sad loss of mourning in red and black.

The cost of expenses is making some to query whether it is the best approach to life in general. Some people feel such a huge amount spent could be used on the living rather than the dead. The dead are given farewell parties in grand style surpassing the previous ones done. It is almost like competition to outdo and be the talk of the town. Video recordings are made for perpetual memory of the event. Sometimes accompanied by fun, laughter, sense of humour, dancing in formations and music performers from the different groups invited or hired. To outsiders, it may seem like a waste of resources and hard-earned cash that could save lives than bury them with riches. This matter is partly due to the fact that people want to show the best side of a family to the guests. They are fed free foods, drinks, accommodation as long they stay with the family. The people travel from all over the world through connections with their family directly or in-laws or work colleagues. It is considered the highest filial loyalty or honour to bury the dead in dignity. The belief exists those not buried properly cannot qualify to be living ancestors. A deceased is not considered totally dead because their Spirit from God lives on. So they know the departed, though passed on into the next is conscious and interested in the lives of those they left behind. Due to dignified life, such burial is deemed a great status symbol, respect and qualification to be remembered as elder in community. The ones who do not meet such honourable burials are disposed of privately quietly at dawn without permission to cry for their loss or grand style public ceremony.  It is an issue affecting all the citizens in that community and the family contributes on behalf of all members throughout life. Often people own land, large farms and cattle so able to use resources for the funerals which lasted for months on end. Then memorial service was held a year later to complete mourning and to celebrate by changing from mourning black clothes worn for one year into the white garments for another year. At the end of that second year, the property and assets of the deceased are openly distributed among relatives. If there is a will made belongings are share as the owner wanted. If not, elders meet and deliberate for fair share to those most in need of the material goods or resources. Often family members are surprised by little Gifts saved over the years to be given to them by the deceased. With modern education, most people do the white-collar jobs so traditions changed. The contribution of funds support all the families in mourning. Each member of the community know they will have similar funeral when it is their turn but not necessarily in grandstyle depending on their status. When it comes to such a funeral the person of high standing in society or parents of someone of status in the society is definitely celebrated in grand style. Elders who live long and supported many family members and relatives, are appreciated by the people they raised over the years paying their last respects. The sadness of funeral is counter balanced by occasion of long-lost families gathering together after many years of living apart. The family chooses an appropriate coffin based on the person’s profession, career path, job, hobbies, interests, status, belief in God. A miniature replica of actual coffin made adds to remembrance token collection of family tree living history._50223727_helicoptercoffin90383461.optim123557496-15648fae-224b-4c69-82c0-212e6928453fOpportunity presents itself to showcase unique capentery skills, talents or look for a suitable partner although that is not the primary motive of attending the funeral in the first place. Families play a major role in also their birth, weddings marriage and funerals so it most likely the same group of people will be met at this events. With changes in culture and Christianity the church helps with funeral by cutting the time of endless wake keeping for weeks or months in the past to keep it simple. The community as a whole participates therefore the burden of cost is shared among those people involved. The issue of costly funeral budget is complex but simplified in terms of sharing each other’s burden. However, the ethics and humanitarian issue is that of those in danger of abandonment if uncared for while alive in times of need like John. The moral thing to do is organise the same people willing to contribute to funeral costs to set up budgets for the living in need to celebrate them alive like ‘This is your life program on TV.’ To bring together all loved ones in lifetime to enjoy life at least on many possible occasions. This will acknowledge people especially if birthdays and honour days are not celebrated. At least such funeral gives time to gather together as a family and to admire the beautiful types of the coffins on display at such funerals. It is nice to see young adults participating in the display of coffins and special treats of dances to entertain the community to ease the pain and tension of loss caused by death. Above all, whatever method is chosen for burial, life extends beyond funerals into eternity so the destination into heaven is what counts most. And all the dead in Christ in God will arise and live reunited with family eternally in heaven and in the Kingdom of God on the earth eventually, forever Ruled by Christ Jesus from Jerusalem Israel.

GOD’S CORRECTION IS GOOD

proverbs-3-12-god-corrects-us-gold_1398839561The LORD God Almighty corrects those HE LOVES as a father or parents correct the children in whom they delight says the Bible in Proverbs 3:12. God reveals to HIS Children error by love to point out mistakes to reveal the correct way to change for good. Correction is done by God directly or through Jesus Christ the Eraser to wipe out errors to restart correctly to show a person unaware of a mistake due to lack of knowledge. This helps learn from mistakes to improve lives to please God. By doing so the lives transformed grow in righteousness and improves in faith, active listening skills in obedience to God. The person gains useful information previously unknown before. Hebrews 12:6-11 says the LORD chastens, disciplines, scourges all HE LOVES to receive correction to endure to gain better experience in life. God deals with people as individual, family or on corporate basis as required.proverbs-3-12-god-corrects-us-green_1078636053Correction of Bart Simpson is a classic example of the line writing exercise on the classroom board to highlight point of correction. Years ago, schools gave pupils correction exercise books for rewriting misspelt words. Of course, as children unaware of exact right words intended word teachers point mistake to teach learners to write many times in exercise books to help remember the correct words in future. The brain coordinates hand movements with eyes to record words. Repetition of the words written many times forever registers so etched in minds of pupils to remember better. But along came a contemporary educational theory it constitutes abuse to ask children to use repetition method to write lines for correction so avoidedsimpson-i will use google before asking dumb questions

So spell checker was born so people did not memorize words for rote learning for recall. Computers correct the words obviously misspelt but words like “cap” and “cup”or “hat” and “hut” for example though correct, if not in context can be incorrect. Drinking milk in “cap” does not show on spellchecker so the reader must know word “cup” in the first place to edit it. This affects spelling error not dealt still with by computer in modern times. Therefore it is important to teach correct words in academia for life as a whole. The Bible says if you correct wise people and they become wiser and love you but correct mockers and they hate you. Choose correction carefully at right time in right way to help improve lives. Purpose of correction is not to shame a person in a negative way for vengeance to hurt them. People who love and care about you help with any issues affecting you to deal with it by Godly correction, compassion, support, understanding as God disciplines us.  3

Godly discipline is for good so it is not punishment though unpleasant because one is compelled to conform or comply against own rebellious ideas. Proverbs 9:8 warns not to attempt to correct fools because they are offended so hate you. Adapting to change is uncomfortable so may seem harsh to recipient until they benefit when they correct the error. So Correction requires determination by the teacher to help ‘wise’ to be ‘wiser’ as challenge to one doing correction. Their unpredictable nature, response reaction to correction depends on the persona at receiving end. Element of risk means a teacher helps learners to avoid mistakes to help correct them through a training experience. Criticising a person affects correction as attack on ego or pride may refuse help or reject correction. In the long run, over a period of time, people realise an insolent person’s ignorance is caused by fear of change. So help stop the devices of mistakes damaging them. Lack of Frontal Cortex means those in crises do not know how mistakes can impact lives. Sadly, some learn the hard way by self-destruction that could be avoided if only they listened. proverbs3_11-12Through arguments a stiff neck refuses to take instructions so does not realise the errors done to themselves or to their family. Blinded by error mindset, causes havoc by process of fear rebuff or reject correction so avoid a pointed out error altogether for improvement. The theory that correction discourages children in the early years from learning affects the attitude to correction in general. Left to figure things out for themselves, many people are unaware of their mistakes. So it becomes problems affecting their performance if the person is allowed to be left to their own devices. In terms of future career the person carries on into other areas of life. Anyone who points out errors to them other than own ideas is not well received. Although a trainer from experience knows exactly what they are talking about, so foresees error, the learner does not accept help, refuses correction. Yet correction is specifically for their good, well-being of the whole family or work place, community and world in general.Profitable-for-RebukeIf a stubborn person resists wisdom at all cost to defy authority in the name of freedom to do as they please, they miss out on the Spirit of excellence. Realise boundaries of correction helps to learn better ways to protect them from a long winding road of mistakes. Like prodigal son, God forgives and restores the ways of error to rescue the lost or misdirected by the wrong choices they made. Proper correction helps to avoid, prevent worse case scenarios. A person corrected must be educated to visualise or understand benefits of the correction in advance. So learners must be taught advantages of correction to instill value of flexibility, humility to bring changes in learning methods. Correction is not to inflict pain or suffering but guidance to give correct information to the person taught. The teacher must be patient and tolerant because learners do not immediately see what they teachers know. Important to understand a soft stick bends because it is malleable than a hard dry stick. The concept that learners grow up to correct themselves is not always the wise move. As they continue in set ways without an understanding of the impact of previous years without correction. Many adults get offended when genuine people try to guide them to correct errors. Some explode in anger and rage so take anger on others. This even spills over into the others aspects of life treating anyone’s suggestions in good faith as an attack on their character or personality. 54126707d4518b751f9145ee5d192841

Reprove not a scorner lest he hates you, rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man so he will be still wiser, teach a righteous man and he will thank you and apply correction in their lives. Correct fools and they take offence. Do not despise chastening of the LORD God; neither be weary of HIS correction. So accept correction for your own goodAccept correction of God by Grace and wisdom of the Holy Spirit to lead you into all truth and teach you. A personal Bible study as a faithful Child of God is part of growth and maturity in the LORD. Start correction of children as early as possible from 2 years old to correct them in love at their level not by anger. Teach children by pointing out correct manner of behaviour as part of life for all to learn. It is imperative to carefully train a child to get rewards for their good behaviour to help reinforce correction. Follow up with apology and hug so child learns to accept teachers doing well to teach child to accept critique of work performance. Children with trained good sense accept correction and even recognise error by admitting error if unnoticed by teacher. A child can politely point out error to a teacher because all are human, so make mistakes in life. The secret is to get up immediately for good success not to feel disheartened by correction. Correction is good as it builds a person up to thrive.

CHILDREN ARE NOT DOLLS

vlfdcToday’s news report is full of children harmed or killed by many tragic accidents purposefully orchestrated or unintended by someone seething due to jealousy of affection given the children. Such people forget infant’s life requires sacrifices of parents, loved ones, carers who endure to ensure children thrive in life. Their parents went without basic necessities in life, food so they survived. After growing up they feel reluctant to do the same for their own children or step children. There are many blended families doing a great job looking after children and fantastic at it. They deserve recognition and congratulations though not seeking praise for excellent job done daily. Against the backdrop of great parenting is trend of children seen and treated as inconvenient intrusion into ‘perfect happiness’ of dysfunctional families. 980d9a8dac0ead3b5cb8e562bc98d80bSuch people, playing superficial happy family fantasize about having children to ‘seal their love’ but discover shock of changes to their relationship after birth of children. This adds on to stress of an already disorganized family affected at times by influence of drugs or computer games. Such parents blame each other or shift the responsibility of caring and discipline styles, cause more stress and infighting. Meanwhile the children internalize effects of chaos caused by immature people in toxic relationships unfit to raise children. Resentful with regret of their decision to have children cannot opt out. Children caught up in the middle of strife endure life worse at times due to alcohol or selfish actions of parents vying for affection at the cost of children’s lives. Some children cry for hours and given calpol for headaches but parents offended if the child laughs. It seems the parents feel satisfied when the child cries but tells child off if seen as happy and cheerful. Modern living isolates couple further without support network required for respite care of children to give the parents a break. The parent not from poor background, well-brought up can be victim of success if over indulged without consideration for others or own children and family. May grow up with sense of entitlement so receive attention without giving back to others. Demand more attention as grown up in charge of own family. Competes with children for attention so never emotionally secure.wayne-dyer_children-erichuber-comSurprisingly, such parents lack awareness or previous experience of babysitting children 24/7. Totally unprepared  for childcare needs of children they bear or take care of. In the past, schools designed practical living skills of housekeeping, cooking, sewing, cleaning, ironing, childcare as part of curriculum in education. So the young people were trained in hands on real life practical experience life skills to equip them for family life. In addition, extended family in the vicinity living together enhance family experiences of children. Despite family hardships or lack of material trappings of modern living children are nurtured to live in a healthy way. Issues of paedophiles or abuse may exist but at least there was someone in the family who children genuinely rely on in time of emotional need for their support. The attitude of some parents is they think they ‘own’ their children so cause pain to child. And those helping giving real happiness to their children viewed as encroaching, undermining, overriding, imposing threat to them. Additionally, children without FRONTAL CORTEX do not wilfully intend to cause an offence deliberately to hurt parents. Children’s BRAIN NOT FULLY grown or developed do not fully UNDERSTAND adult world.quote-Charlotte-Davis-Kasl-a-life-long-blessing-for-children-is-to-21784Creating good and happy memories in children is treasured in the heart for life of the children. Mimicking adults seems they understand issues but incapable of the maturity of adults. This is the reason why God entrusts the children into the safe adult hands as parents or stewards to look after them. Adult is REPONSIBLE to ensure child’s needs are met, well-fed healthy foods, trained to make sense of environment, given a spatial awareness to relate to others in interactive ways to build up confidence. A child cannot be blamed or accused of being responsible for coming into world to ruin parent’s life. If adult not ready to sacrifice their life at least 30 years to raise children, use protection to prevent conception. Children are for life and not only for Christmas displays. Some think children will enhance them by having them for wrong reasons. A fractured, disjointed society today focus on external material things at the expense of healthy organic nurturing safe atmosphere surrounded by family and friends. Yet nature and nurture are both vital components to accomplish a balanced upbringing of children’s lives. The shift of emphasis on gadgets, technology, high-tech and high strung high-maintenance intense stress, pressure and atmosphere is not really conducive for children. Attention on the external shoe costs and designer labels to wear and expensive clothes or toys above emotional needs of the children. Damage or loss of items becomes bone of contention in anger beats the child to pulp and causing tragic death. The other children are killed by computer gamers who feel distracted from their addictive games by the children requiring nappy change or food. Again tensions of credit crunch play role in frustrating parents stuck with children without proper jobs. Recent rate of fatalities of the children’s death toll is needlessly rising.5c50ba8d0995fc2295ff172d6eccfa6fUnacceptable levels further exasperated by children having children without the FRONTAL CORTEX BRAIN themselves to UNDERSTAND risk and consequences of their actions on delicate tender body of babies and children. Dangerous attacks of children by jealous lovers or parents fester without dealing with the build up of uncalled for anger towards innocent children. Unfortunately some children become victims destroyed by the naive immature jealous partner who in turn destroys own lives in the process. It is sad the family is ruined by adults who wants to raise children as little soldiers. They DO NOT ALLOW CHILDREN TO BE THE HAPPY LITTLE CHILDREN HAVING FUN, LAUGHING, PLAYING WITHOUT A CARE in the world. It is a right of every child to be allowed a proper discipline and corrected in a safe manner within their age range meaningful to the child. A child cannot be treated as a grown up adult in terms of relating deep thoughts to a child. Of course precocious children display maturity, genius beyond some adults but is exception than the norm. God ordained mothers to carry babies as first natural teachers of children so more tolerant and patient than some men. Going against nature to demand mothers abandon children to wo/men INCAPABLE of raising their children contributes to damage of children. Some parents feel ashamed and embarrassed to EXPRESS dark emotions or thoughts to others to get help to deal with their own childhood issues projected on that innocent child. Anger is major cause of such parents who vent on the innocent children bearing brunt of frustrations in their life. Such parents act like if they did not have a happy childhood then the child cannot have one. Of course they cannot give what they do not have so get help to allow children to enjoy their innocent years. Build up good memory and stop tyrants scarring children for life to damage them. A lot of children of this generation have a lot of superficial material needs met but hurting deeply by the lack of proper attention required. Oxytocin hormone CALMS children by hugging the child so gains parental love much more priceless than a temporary material joy happiness. Oxytocin is very necessary for the child’s development so healthy contact of a child is essential. Issue of paedophiles is ruining genuine affection for children treated as robot machines. Hugging the child is viewed with suspicion so many steer clear from it but do not hesitate to inflict pain on same child in moment of madness due to anger. A child is for life so before you have the child think twice of long-term time sacrifices of not going to parties, pubs, discos, travelling alone, sleepless nights for feeding or nappy changes. Get help from trusted family members, and friends, loved ones or good neighbours. children-are-not-dolls-they-are-not-toys-to-dress-up-and-show-off-theyre-real-people--95047Talk to GP to arrange talking therapy or with people in parent’s and child groups to learn how to cope better, ask friends to support you. Do not dump anger or rage on your innocent loving children. Children cannot express their internal damage to organs from assaults by the adults. Modern dolls have a computer link to reveal manhandling by a person entrusted with the doll. Unfortunately children do not have such mechanisms displaying internal bleeding by bashing against walls, shaking babies, fractures broken bone, internal bleeding swelling go unnoticed until final straw ends in a fatality. Yet millions desperately want children but cannot have them due to many reasons. So count your blessings, invest TIME to train child so they grow up and not depart from it. Routine is essential to raising children so set up a flexible dynamic time schedule for the children. Time to sleep and wake up is necessary for toddlers for brain growth and development. Lunch at 12 noon and naps between 1pm to 3 pm for toddlers. The adults quickly prepares supper and dry laundry, clean up ready for children to wake up. Children play, eat at 5-6pm, bath at 7p.m ready for bed after reading at 8 pm. Adults between 8:30pm till 12 midnight have enough hours to wind down, date in home, set up romantic meal, eat, talk, watch TV, play computer games, get someone trusted and reliable to watch children to go to cinema, meal, and sleep by 1 am latest. A disciplined routine helps children to settle down better. It is good to maintain the routine even during holidays because it is harder to get back established routine after mixed messages confuse children. Children always remember those who genuinely love and care for them. And discuss with partner if you feel left out or displaced by children at appropriate time. Set up routine for both to continue to date, be in love after marriage and children. Do not go on an autopilot identifying with one child and pitching against each other as opposing teams. Children grow so fast you can do anything in your life after they fly the nest. It is never too late to learn to take up any unfinished business later after children come along into your life. You can relearn and adapt to use new skills online for web jobs, create blog, give hope to others, encourage and support others in similar situations. For God Sake never blame children for ruining your life or future because you are the ones who chose not to use the appropriate contraception. Even if child unexpected accept, love child unconditionally. Use playful interaction like Sound of Music film to help appreciate the children and they remember you when you are old. Remember you are accountable to God WHO records in BOOK of life treatment of children’s lives.

THE FAKE & FALSE PASTORS

Jesus said many fake pastors and false prophets deceive and mislead people to misdirect genuine faith in God. So Bible forbids practice of occult, black magic, sorcery, consulting dead or astrologers. When you live on land the LORD God gives you do not follow abominations of heathen nations. There shall not be found among you anyone who makes sons, daughters pass through fire or practice witchcraft, or soothsayer or interprets omens or sorcerer, conjures spells or a medium or spiritist or calls up the dead. Or casts spells to hex and curse people because vengeance belongs to God. For all who do these things are abominations to the LORD your God who drives out enemies from before you. You shall be blameless before the LORD your God. For nations dispossessed listened to soothsayers and diviners for you, the LORD your God forbids it in Deuteronomy 18:9–13. Bible says be wise to test the spirits to discern and see if they are from God Almighty through Jesus Christ. The devil thrown out of heaven is determined to fool some people to think following the TRUE GOD. Recruits deceiving spirits to mingle in churches to create deception, confusion, strife, entice, entrap souls to hell. God never forgives devil banned from Eternal life in heaven forever kept in hellfire after 1000 year millennium Reign of Jesus on earth. The devil roams about seeking to recruit to destroy some people to take to hell reserved originally exclusively only for devil and rebellious angels turned demons. So deceives and destroys people using fake counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders or rituals thinking the devil is ‘protecting’ them. Rituals embedded in ‘culture’ accepted as norm without realising abomination sin judged by God. Many in fear of life sent by families consult them for ‘help’ with fertility, childbirth, health, wealth ensnaring souls. God’s miracles mixed with trick potions to people invite devil to take control to own lives to destroy them in the end.

The devil knows the Bible better than some believers to quote verses as he did to Jesus Christ. Jesus already knows the real true words of God so said to devil “it is  written.” The trouble is they do not read, study or know the contents of the Bible or God’s Will concerning their lives. So turn to psychics, palm readers and fake charlatans to tell them what to do in life. They do not seek their creator or maker to help plan their lives but do take advice from such people enriching themselves at the expense of their lack of knowledge. God says HIS PEOPLE perish due to their lack of knowledge of Bible. God lets them delude themselves by thoughts of reprobate imaginations concocted in their minds. The devil is ready to use and abuse them to distract them from the true love of God. There are millions of genuine pastors doing will of God helping, praying interceding, offering practical solutions, sacrificing time to assist genuine believers. But the ones who attend church and still mix belief in fetish in the name of ‘culture’ have one leg in the kingdom of God and another leg in satan’s world. God says to choose today whom you will serve. If you believe in the One true God, belong exclusively to God alone, do HIS WILL ONLY. Cannot hop on one leg in God’s Kingdom or other to devil but stand in God in Christ on both feet and firmly grounded and rooted in Christ Jesus. True Christian believers come totally under new management of Jesus Christ so old things pass away and all things are made new in the BLOOD OF JESUS IN JESUS NAME. So changes take place inside the heart to transform and renew mind in Christ TRANSLATED from the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of God’s Glorious Marvellous Gospel of Light in Jesus Christ Name. God has not given believers the spirit of fear but of POWER, LOVE AND A SOUND MIND. So repent and serve God in the Strength of God’s WORDS and devil runs from you. Do not seed fetish ‘protection,’ Seek God Almighty Jehovah Nissi to save you for Eternal life forever. Jesus came to save, heal, deliver you from all destructions and works of the devil over your lives in Jesus Name. Trust God completely to do greater work publicly in your life so to testify by BLOOD OF THE LAMB JESUS CHRIST. Remember, the blood of bulls, goats cannot save only THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE OF JESUS IS ACCEPTABLE TO JEOVAH YAHWEH IN JESUS NAME.

WOMEN & MEN FRIENDSHIPS

1033.gifWomen have intense close friendships, men tend not to have that according to Professor Dunbar, the Psychologist Professor at Oxford University. Professor Dunbar found women view best friend relationships in between sisters and soul mates. Men tend to see theirs purely in terms of the convenience. He came to this conclusion by exploring how people’s friendship circles changed when they left school for university. So what determined original friendships or whether they survived long-term? Did women make effort to talk more to each other on the phone as explored? And did “talking have any absolute effects on mens’ relationships at all? For men it was doing stuff together that held close friendships together. Doing activities like going to a football match or the pub for a drink, playing five a side was more meaningful to men. They made effort if was such an activity.” He looked at the differences between the sexes and said women clearly have much more intense close friendships than men. Men tend not to have that sort of relationship but they tend to have a group of four men they do such stuff with. So relationship is much more casual. With men it is out of sight out of mind. They just find four more guys to go drinking with.”The cast of Channel 4's university-themed sitcom Fresh Meat The cast of Channel 4’s university-themed sitcom Fresh Meat. This will be familiar to any woman who has had both the pleasure and disappointment of close male friend particularly in their twenties and thirties. At first, things are wonderful. Life is full of great catch ups, and laughter over pints of beer. They listen to your woes and you help them with their woman problems. It is the friendship neither knew needed. Only then, something changes. They start a new relationship. They move to a new postcode really not very far. They get a new job with a ready-made social life. They get a new flatmate. Whatever the change they suddenly have the new set of replacement ready and can’t seem to find the time to meet you for that coffee. You, naively, keep trying. You call them, you send jokey pictures and do exactly what you will do if that was a girlfriend growing distant: bombard her with the attention you wish she was showing you. Except with a male friend, it just does not work. Whether it is nature or nurture, most men simply do not view friendships in the same way as women. Gender is hardly the issue it is practical problem of how much time and effort they put into a platonic relationship. As the study says, there’s always another drinking buddy around the corner. Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with BenefitsJustin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with Benefits. Men reading this may feel unfairly judged. So I put it to a colleague and current male friend let’s be honest, the second we stop sharing a desk, I will never hear from him again. “Some of my best friends are women,” he says vaguely. When I ask if the effort he made with friends is comparable to that his girlfriend makes with hers, he begrudgingly accepts that he could not spend hours on the phone with his pals of either gender. He lost count of the male friends who have disappeared over the years. Often, it coincides with the arrival of a new girlfriend. But contrary to popular interpretation, it is rarely to do with that new girlfriend’s jealousy. As one former male friend charmingly told me: “I have to hear all my girlfriend’s emotional stresses now. I don’t have time for yours.” With male mates like that it is probably no surprise all efforts go into his female friendships. And now academics backed my choice.tmg-article_default_mobile

Steps To recover friends

  • Stop pre-empting: Sometimes we are anxious when we do not need to be and it creates conflicts with friends in our heads. Your friend may be sitting thinking the same thing; not think anything is wrong.
  • Do not be consumed by guilt: Often you feel guilty or embarrassed you did not make contact for a while. This is what is getting in the way, try not to hold onto these feelings.
  • Face conflicts that arise: If your friendships is worthwhile you should be willing to fix them, ask what has gone wrong, what their position may be to work  solution.
  • Set objectives: Once you have discussed the issues don’t let them drag on, make a decision to move forward and set practical ways of keeping in touch and letting the other know you care.
  • Find positive aspects: Friendship may take on a different form with distance allows space to see things objectively. You may be able to help each other more, to make use of the distance when you can.