IMG_20170503_113609 Superfast fibreoptic internet is built by farmer’s wife Christine Conder for 2,300 members, rural community Lancashire as a revolutionary internet pioneer. Her DIY solution solved neighbour’s internet connectivity problems in 2009 evolved into B4RN internet service provider of a faster gigabit per second broadband speed to parishes in picturesque Lune Valley. Is 35 times faster than 28.9 Mbps UK speed internet connection according to Ofcom. Began when trees separating Chris’ neighbouring farm from nearest wireless mast only internet connection provided by Lancaster University grew too tall. Something more robust was required and no alternatives available Chris decided to take matters into her own hands. She purchased a kilometre of fibre-optic cable and commandeered her farm tractor to dig a trench. After lighting the cable, the two farms were connected, with hers feeding the one behind the trees. “We dug it ourselves and we lit the cable ourselves and we proved that ordinary people could do it she says. It was not rocket science just 3 days of hard work. Her motto she often repeats in conversation, is JFDI. Three of those letters stand for Just Do It. The fourth is work out for yourself.unnamedB4rn in actionFibre optic cable cattle grid. And JFDI she has. B4RN now claims to have laid 2,000 miles 3,218km of cable connected to string of local parishes to its network. It won’t connect a single household, so the entire parish has to be on board before begins to build. Each household pays £30 per month, £150 connection fee, larger businesses pay more. And households must do some installation themselves. The entire infrastructure is fibre-optic cable right to the property than just to cabinet with existing copper phone lines running to home generally offered by British Telecom. The service is so popular the company has work lined up for next 10 years and people from as far as Sierra Leone attended the open days held couple of times a year. The bulk of work is done by volunteers although there are now 15 paid staff on board. Farmers give access to their land and those with equipment like diggers and tractors do the heavy work. Other landowners can charge B4RN complain on Facebook page about price of cabling under a disused railway bridge owned by Highways England. A spokesperson told BBC standard industry cost include a £4,500 fee for surveying, legal fees and price per metre for cable installation. So B4RN has yet to make profit once it pays back shareholders it should be in good financial health although on condition profits ploughed back into community. Chris’ services to rural broadband have recognised by the Queen was awarded an MBE in 2015, alongside Barry Forde, a retired university lecturer who now leads the co-operative.nl26_03_160928_photo_2_1.jpgcalfNewborn cattle registered online within 5days in UK. Incredibly B4RN customers had been surviving on dial-up services or paying high fees for satellite feeds. So Chris says some still do. As farmers now register online with the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) within 5 days of every calf being born to enter food chain, connectivity is vital. “All the farmers who have not got broadband have to rely on land agents or auction marts or public wi-fi spaces which we haven’t got round here either, or paying somebody to do it,” says Chris. Farmers finding dial-up just could not cope with it. They bought satellites, but children use all satellite feed for things and when they came to use it at night there was no feed left, gone over data and they were being charged a fortune for what they then used. “So the farmers have been incredibly supportive of this and that is why they have given us free rein throughout the fields, which we go through to connect them and then we get to the villages which subsidise the farmers’ connections. “You could not do it for farmers alone, but you could not get to the village without farmers so it is win win.300C.jpgB4rn in actionnl13_01_160701_IMG_4504Independent fibre broadband providers like Gigaclear serve 50,000 customers in several UK counties and Hyperoptic is active in 13 cities. They all claim to offer 1Gbps speeds. “The best way to make sure this country has faster up to date internet is support alternative networks says Chris. “When there is competition BT will then up their game. “We cannot do the whole country. BT, Virgin etc are good businesses, they are in it to make profit, as businesses do.” Openreach, currently a division of BT, owns the UK’s largest broadband infrastructure. Big picture is a plan alongside government to get 95% UK fibre coverage,” said Kim Mears, Openreach’s managing director of Infrastructure Delivery. The provider upgraded 90 small Community Fibre Partnership, set up to work in areas it describes as “hard to reach.” Ms Mears appealed to those struggling with poor connectivity to make contact. A lot to gain if communities come together we are really here to help,” she said.

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www-St-Takla-org--Jesus-After-Resurrection-10Jesus after resurrection stayed on earth for 40 days instead of ascending straight to heaven. Jesus proved to His followers He was truly Alive by making sure they saw and met him after events happened to Jesus. They knew Roman authorities put Jesus to death and His body taken down from cross and sealed in a tomb. Filled with despair and fear some went into hiding. They believed Jesus was the promised Messiah but their hopes were shattered. They knew Jesus promised to return from the grave but missed Him dearly so felt relief with hope of future as Jesus saw them after resurrection. So Jesus appeared among them and their lives were changed forever as greatest miracle in livinb history took place and Jesus Christ was Alive! During those 40 days Jesus appeared to various groups of the disciples to PROVE beyond doubt He was raised from death by the power of God. Many versions of Jesus meeting disciples subject of many debates. Still living together in Upper Room with the mother of Jesus and other disciples they waited until Jesus visits them and later ascends sent Holy Spirit at Pentecost.pentecost-1Some wrote Jesus instructed disciples to meet Him on the mount at Galilee. Paul wrote Jesus appeared to more than 500 people at the same time alive at time of writing in 1 Corinthians 15:6. Sequences of appearances agree that Jesus stayed on teach His disciples to equip disciples to be prepared for the task of telling the world about Christ Jesus. Ensures after His ascension their faith in risen Christ is strong while seeking to share Gospel message of salvation globally with the others. Jesus appeared many times to disciples surprisingly on numerous occassions as records exist in various places at different times. Jesus appeared in the Bible to Mary, Peter best friend of Jesus and disciples working together. An impulsive Peter fearing execution blurts Jesus must not die said he will not deny Jesus did 3 times before cock crowed. So Peter hid among people warmed by fire spotted, challenged confronted disciple of Jesus. Peter denied Jesus 3 times was happy to see Jesus was forgiven. Mary Magdalene another friend was changed forever after encounter with Jesus. She knew the Messiah so experienced joy after witnessing his death, experienced despair, grief, sorrow. 8b28970f820a919926260ab35ecfa750Traumatised and overwhelmed did not recognise Jesus thought he was gardner. She was happy to see Jesus again so felt hope, joy and knew on the Resurrection morning after Jesus rose from death her life changed. Matthew 28 says ‘suddenly Jesus met them in their most vulnerable moment of need.’ At the point of need as we need Jesus suddenly Jesus appears. Mary Magdalene and others saw risen Christ Jesus instantly had hope, peace, joy was restored sees future bright. They knew through Christ experienced changes resurrecting themselves. Easter means resurrection in living history of hope to friends of Jesus who witnessed His pain and hope for today’s world thousands of years later. All impossible situation of Jesus’ life reminds us of the glorious eternal future of resurrection. Eternal life brings hope, peace in Christ when Jesus meets us all things change.

Jesus Resurrection appearance to many people in Gospel accounts is different in locations of witnesses. Post-resurrection appearances of Jesus in Bible answers questions based on 1Peter 3:15 hope of Christ in us. Eternal hope rests on Jesus’ authenticity as Messiah by resurrection in 1 Corinthians 15:17. True knowledge reveals proof in Acts 1:3 catalogue of an annual time of our celebration of Jesus’ Resurrection to present truth in defense of Jesus’ appearance in history timeline. So this important event in living history gives witness accounts of specific event reported accurately from each person’s perspective. Artists paint the viewpoint seen so never paint identical clone art although all see image simultaneously. Main features seen are recognised but image angles vary.  So witness accounts of Jesus’ Resurrection report by various people’s account is exactly as Jesus did appear to them. The questions of Bible’s consistency on basis of a phrase “to the mountain” and “appeared first to Peter are examples of queries of appearances.christ-visiting-the-nephites-olsen-1600.jpgThe 11 disciples went to Galilee to the mountain Jesus appointed for them, saw and worshiped Him but some doubted. (Matthew 28:16–17Did Jesus appear to 11 on a mountain in Galilee or Jerusalem behind closed doors? Does this account in Matthew contradict that of Mark, Luke, and John? Later Jesus appeared to 11 as they sat at table He rebuked their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they did not believe those who saw Him after Jesus arisen. (Mark 16:14) So they rose up that very hour and returned to Jerusalem and found eleven and those who were with them gathered together, saying, “The Lord is risen indeed, and appeared to Simon!” And they told about the things that had happened on the road, and how He was known to them in the breaking of bread. Now as they said these things, Jesus Himself stood in the midst of them, and said to them, “Peace to you.” But they were terrified and frightened, and supposed they had seen a spirit. (Luke 24:33–37) Then, the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut when the disciples were assembled for fear of Jews, Jesus came through the walls and stood in their midst, and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. The disciples were glad when they saw Jesus (John 20:19–20)

resurrected-christ-with-people-1103021-wallpaperFollowing His Resurrection from death, Jesus made number of appearances to His followers no less than ten of these are recorded in Scripture. Beginning on Resurrection Sunday, “showed himself alive by many infallible proofs” (Acts 1:3 and instructed His apostles and other followers for forty days. He ascended from Mount Olivet, Jerusalem while the apostles watched (Acts 1:9–12). To sort out verses in question we examine the several appearances in terms of when and where they occurred and witnesses. Paul included summary statement in 1 Corinthians 15 provides information about appearances and unrecorded ones in Gospels or Acts. For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and He was buried, and He rose third day according to Scriptures, and that He was seen by Cephas, then by twelve. After that He was seen by over five hundred brethren at once, of whom greater part remain to the present but some fallen asleep. After that He was seen by James, then by all the apostles. (1 Corinthians 15:3–7). Appearances include a visit with Cephas (Peter), to “ twelve” after that, and subsequently to over five hundred people at once, most of whom were still living eyewitnesses at the time Paul wrote his letter. Some point out that with Judas dead Paul was wrong in referring to “the twelve.” However, by the time Paul wrote letter, Matthias had replaced betrayer (Acts 1:20–26). So the eleven agreed the replacement had to be a man who had been with them from the time of the Lord’s baptism until day ascended. One of the key purposes of this appointment was that the new apostle be a witness to the Resurrection. So by time Paul wrote his epistles, Matthias had joined “the eleven” and was himself a witness of the resurrected Christ, so it is perfectly accurate to refer to group as twelve. So reminds us Jesus had many other followers besides select apostles.women-at-the-tomb1.jpgTo reconcile the 4 Gospel accounts of the women’s actions, we need to focus on the earliest Resurrection Sunday appearances. Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, and John 20 each open with the arrival of the women (including Mary Magdalene) at the tomb. They find it empty with the stone rolled away. We propose Mary Magdalene separated from the other women after the initial visit to the tomb. It seems she hastened off to find Peter and other disciple John. The nine disciples were apparently not with Peter and John during the morning and so informed others of empty tomb as the other women. John 20:1–2 tells us Mary Magdalene told them the Lord’s body was missing. After Peter and John view the empty tomb and departed, Mary Magdalene remained behind weeping, saw angels in tomb asked about missing body, and had her own conversation with Jesus Himself. In John 20:17 Jesus sent to tell His brethren He is alive, as verse 18 states she obeyed. Mark 16:9–11 adds Mary Magdalene was the first to whom the Lord appeared and the disciples did not believe her story. Meanwhile, the other women, finding the stone rolled away, entered the tomb and saw an angel sitting on the right. Suddenly they realized there were two angels, as Luke recorded. So Matthew, Mark mention one of them perhaps focusing on the one who was speaking (Matthew 28:5–7; Mark 16:5–7; Luke 24:4–8). Angel tells women to go tell disciples and Peter after denial suggests not with the larger group Jesus risen sees them in Galilee.5fae5d844fb1121816322768c491313e

Matthew 28:8–10 states that the women took off running to find the disciples. They may have just missed Peter and John, who were on their way to the tomb. Evidently while these women were en route to find disciples in the city, Peter and John viewed empty tomb, and Mary Magdalene had her encounter with Jesus. After appearing to Mary Magdalene Jesus visited the women who were running to the city, and He reinforced the message that they should go tell His brethren that they would see Him in Galilee. Perhaps Jesus made this personal appearance because they were so terribly afraid and too fearful to speak to anyone (Mark 16:8). After He meeting them joyfully delivered the message. Luke 24:9–11  summarizes the fact that “the eleven and all the rest” ultimately heard about Christ’s Resurrection from all women, including Mary Magdalene. Yet no one believed them. Matthew 28:11–15 tells us of another important event on Sunday morning. The guards told the chief priests what had happened. With the help of bribes in the right places, the chief priests hatched and spread the lies disciples stole the body while the guards slept. They confirmed for all of history the tomb was really empty. The events described in the remaining verses in Matthew 28 did not occur on Sunday. Matthew 28:16 reveals that the disciples went away into Galilee over a day’s journey at the time prior to appearance recorded in verse 17. Events followed those described in the other Gospels.

Jesus made other recorded appearances to individuals before He ever appeared to the eleven as a group. The first one is recorded in Luke 24:13–35 and briefly in Mark 16:12–13. After hearing women’s report and Peter and John’s account of empty tomb, Cleopas and companion set out on the road to Emmaus. During trip they met Jesus and were treated to an eye-opening lesson Jesus explained Old Testament Scriptures fulfilled by His suffering, death, Resurrection. When the pair discovered that they had been breaking bread with Jesus, they hurried back to the city to report to the group. Upon arrival, they learned that the Lord had also had a personal meeting with Simon Peter. That meeting with Peter is reported in Luke 24:34, but we have no other details about it. Finally we come to the verses in question. By this time it is Sunday evening. Luke 24:33 tells us the Emmaus road pair reported to “the eleven gathered together and those with them.” Thomas was not present when Jesus made His appearance to group. Perhaps Thomas stepped out for some reason or just was not with them at the time and “eleven” was a term used as a general description of group of disciples once Judas had died. John 20:26 tells us that Thomas had to wait another eight days for Jesus to appear to group again. Matthew did not record any of Christ’s appearances on that day to “the eleven” while still in the city, but Mark and Luke contain this information. We know from Luke’s account other people were also in attendance with disciples when Jesus ate in their presence, proving His body was alive again in Luke 24:42. During 2 Jerusalem appearances Jesus assured all followers He is indeed alive. Galilean appearances are not recorded in Mark, Luke but described in Matthew 28:16–17 and John 21. Matthew 28:16 records that eleven went to Galilee, waiting for Jesus to appear as He promised in a message delivered by the women near tomb. So according to John 21, Peter and others decided to go fishing. Jesus instructed them to cast their net on other side of boat. When disciples came ashore they found Jesus cooking breakfast for them.b6c83feed2ad64316419a18520dba2e4 Jesus also had His well-known “feed my sheep” conversation with Peter and told him about his future martyrdom. John mentions this was “the third time Jesus showed Himself to His disciples after He was raised from death,” meaning it was the third time He appeared to them as a group (John 21:14). So the first meeting was with eleven minus Thomas, and the second meeting was when Thomas was present. The appearance on appointed mountain in Galilee (Matthew 28:16–17) took place sometime after shoreline appearance. These verses actually pick up narrative of chapter quite logically, since a few verses earlier Jesus had told the women to tell His brethren they’d see Him in Galilee. Comments of story the Jewish leaders concocted to explain away missing body accounts for Galilee appearances as promised. This meeting on mountain in Galilee was the occasion Jesus appeared to over 500 people at a time 1 Corinthians 15:6. By this time also Christ’s promised appearances would have spread among His many followers so given them time to arrive. Matthew 28:16–17 specifically says that others were present with the disciples, nothing in verse precludes possibility that more followers gathered there. Seeing Jesus there the disciples worshiped Him, although others still were doubtful. The eleven by now see Jesus more than once and some even ate with Him so “some doubted” likely refers to others who had not seen Him before. easter-ascensionWe learn from 1 Corinthians 15:7 Jesus met His brother James after appearing on the mountain. While we cannot be sure of the place of this meeting, it makes sense it would have happened in Galilee, since that is where Jesus and James grew up, and where James shows up in the Gospel narratives (Matthew 12:46–50; Matthew 13:55). This occurred, it seems to have been catalyst for James in (John 7:5), to believe his brother truly is Son of God. 1 Corinthians 15:7 also explains Christ was seen by all the apostles one more time after His visit with James. This event is recorded in Acts 1 (cf. Matthew 28:18–20; Mark 16:14–19; Luke 24:44–53), Jesus led apostles as far as Bethany on eastern side of Mount Olivet near Jerusalem. He gave final instructions to them before He ascending into heaven. Apostle Paul stated, “Then last of all He was seen by me as by one born out of due time.” This appearance occurred as Paul called Saul traveling to Damascus mission to persecute Christians (Acts 9:1–9; 1 Corinthians 15:7.


Post-Resurrection Timeline

Scripture is true genuine living word of God through the Spirit of God, thus the verity of the eyewitness accounts is very reliable. Eye witness accounts adds up to form a perfectly whole jigsaw puzzle of the various appearance of Jesus after His resurrection. Post-Resurrection/pre-Ascension timeline account for the Acts of Apostles revealed to us in God’s Holy Word. These proposed timeline shows, there are absolutely no contradictions in the accounts of the post-Resurrection appearances of Jesus. Good reporters piece together story from their reliable eyewitnesses, we must examine all the eyewitness accounts recorded in God’s Word, realize by faith that for Scripture to be reliable they must all be true, and see how they fit together without any contradictions. Together, these accounts tell us about the most important truth in history of the world Jesus Christ the Son of God died for our sins and rose again, conquering sin, death for our salvation and for the glory of God. And those who did not see Him like us called to believe Him and promised incredible blessings of eternal life for belief (1 Peter 1:8–9).


A=Appreciate Mothers
B=Blessings to all Mums
C=Creator’s Giver of Life
D=Dedicated to Family
E=Excellent Spirit
F=Favourite Food Maker
G=Gratitude to God
H=Hopes For the Best
I=Impressive Inspiration
J=Joyful at all times
K=Knowledge giver
L=Lovely and Loyal


 M=Maximises Resources

N=Nurtures Family
O=Opportunity giver
P=Passion for Peace
Q=Quality Family Time
R=Restoration of Hope
S=Success in Life
T=Thankful for Family
U=Unconditional Love
V=Vision Encourager
W=Wisdom for Living
X=Xenia Hospitality
Y=Youthful & Beautiful
Z=Zenith zeal for Life




art-festival-agetagueda-2.jpgGod’s Umbrellas are so big with enough room for all to be underneath come rain or sunshine. Times and seasons change so rapidly sometimes 4 seasons happen in one day. At times, within a moment of of less than an hour a sudden drastic new change takes place from a glowing hot sunshine day with sweats turning to  the coldest drab rainy day soaking wet. It is on such days the good old umbrella comes in handy. Especially after carrying it in vain without rain or hot weather the day you remove it thinking it is useless is the day the rain comes pouring down on you heavily. So the day the weatherman reassures you of excellent weather with lots of sunshine so you leave an umbrella behind is the day of the heaviest rainfall.10 Michael Fish is remembered in living as one responsible for such unpredictable weather. Yet without advanced satellite dishes predicting accurately, a changing weather condition depends on wind or storms that cannot be controlled by any man on earth. In the same way, life is similar to changeing situations of hot good times of the high life and the cold miserable days of unexpected rain. As the weather conditions change so does mood, health and wellness changes. It is therefore at times necessary to keep on dragging that umbrella around even if it pays off once ir twice a year when really needed. The inconvenience of carrying an umbrella around can seem like insane if seen holding unto it in all weather. 07.jpgYet it is useful to ignore the mockers to hold on to your umbrella. Those laughing may one day ask you to share your umbrella with them if they do not have their own. The irony is how life exactly deals with you in terms of unpredictable situations least expected. Like a reliable umbrella, the faithful continue in active faith and depend on Yahweh to keep them safe and secure in times of need. As long as the quality and durability of umbrella is excellent and strong it can withstand the storm. Spiritually speaking, so is God’s tough umbrella shielding you from all storms and weathers. Although realistic life experiences show storms may cause bruises, falls or wind carries up if still holding onto umbrella during tornadoes.agueda12 Such is life changing experiences that all face sometimes. Umbrellas are also used for dancing as popular song ‘Singing in the rain’ soaked despite umbrella or Big Bang Sheldon sitting on a bench without umbrella. Although these experiences are hilarious jokes, life mimics art and vice versa so can guide you to remember to carry an umbrella. So metaphorically speaking, God is your broad umbrella term representative of variety of colours, shapes abd sizes suitable for each need. So plays the dusl role of uplifting in hot joyful good days and shielding from the rain, wind, storm and snow. DIY-parasol-backdrop.jpgContinue to hold on to God in all seasons or weather, do not ley go because of disappointment of carrying one in vain. It is better to be   safe to have one and not need one or not prepare and be sorry when it rains. Like anything else in life what you put in you get back. Investing in a good durable umbrella is better than cutting corners to buy a cheap one that breaks quickly. So is dependable reliable investment spiritually in God for eternal life. Informed choice makes you trust in the One True Living God not cheap dead imitation version that cannot, see, hear, speak, talk, eat, drink   walk or save. For God is Love so operates by eternal’s Divine Protection inbuilt future is everlasting life beyond all the storms of life. Yet God’s great umbrella needs to be maintained after wear and tear. By being in tune with God this requires knowing the spiritual seasons of life for your own good and interest so cannot be left to any chance. Another important factor is many different companies make these umbrellas but each person has favourite design, shape, size, manufacturer or the colour suitable for all occasions. Nobody can snatch neighbours umbrella because it is wrong colour or size. Each person is given a right to choose the umbrella as they desire or please. So live and let live diplomacy requires agreeing to disagree even if the neighbour’s garden parasol is not exactly to your taste. Umbrellas also provide shades from harsh elements of USV protection.  A long walk in mall or park bench under sun is impressive with beautiful colourful rainbow colours. 9405636238_ee8269a6be_k.jpgSo God made a colourful life simplified so to each carries own umbrella without intruding into another’s choice. These is what learning to live alongside others is about in life. Nobody has sole exclusive access to God as monopoly so whosoever comes to God Jesus will not cast out. One may not see it so or feel others deserve an opportunity to be given the chance to dwell in God’s presence. How ever God is willing to accept or receive all warts and all because God does not want anyone cast out of His Kingdom. Jesus said He will not reject any person of any shape, size, colour height, age or whatever to be part of His eternal salvation. The world’s events demand each person belongs to God directly by calling upon His Name to be saved. The things of these world shall pass away but God’s love and word shall stand forever. So God recognises variety in His worship even if it makes no sense whatsoever to others observing them. So God says leave the tares and the wheat so He will sort things out in the endtime. Focus on your personal life and family because there is no point gaining the whole world and loosing your soul. No matter weather conditions you just need a good strong umbrella personally to use or share with your loved one, family and a friend. In other words God wants you to mind your own business first before insisting on running other’s lives while neglecting your own life. Charity begins at home so start by loving yourself first then extending love to others in Christ.



  1. A charge to keep I have,
    A God to Glorify,
    A never dying soul to save,
    And fit souls for the sky.
  2. To serve the present age,
    My calling to fulfill:
    Oh, may it all my powers engage
    To do my Master’s will!
  3. Arm me with jealous care,
    As in Your sight I live;
    And O Thy servant, Lord, prepare
    A strict account to give,
  4. Help me to watch and pray,         And on my God Rely                 Assured to trust forever God   Through Christ Jesus my Lord.



Single Mom Used Tax Return to Pay Whole Year’s Rent is news worth sharing as ex-drug addict. This fascinating true story of Knaack in South Carolina, who said she knows that fancy electronics and new shoes are not what is important for her family. “I work a minimum wage job, has two kids and I do it by myself. I just wanted to make sure that if I needed to take time off work if something comes up not going to lose my home” said Knaack 29 who used most of her $5600 tax return to pay her rent for the next 11 months. She used extra hundred to take her 2-year-old and 4-month-old out for a fun day. I  know that a roof over my kids head is what’s important. My kids do not want for anything because my priorities are straight,” Knaack wrote on post shared 150,000 times. Knaack is a recovering addict who wants to spread hope that it is possible to start life over.


Life for anyone caring for small children by themselves can be stressful so some need to splash out and spend money to enjoy respite time as a reward. Others may use money for drugs and substances to try to numb the pain from stress. The interesting fact about this particular true story is she chose to resist temptation to do the right thing. Often any new item bought with hard-earned money seems like duly deserved reward for sacrifices. In this case, Christina Knaak chose to invest beyond entitled self-indulgence to secure a roof over family. This is really a choice encouraging to all working hard to change their lives to better their life first for themselves and their children. With God all things are possible so we can all take a cue from Christina to help bring change into our families to secure the future with the help of God. Well done Christina keep up the good work, although not easy you are doing the right thing to motivate people to have hope. An example to get priority right, parents of small children lead them growing up following adult behaviours and norms.


By Her Side: George and his mother Betty

BY HER SIDE novel is about a son writing about an extraordinary experience caring for his mother with dementia diagnosis. George Hodgman was confronted with a life-changing decision when returning home for his mother’s 91st birthday. He was shocked by Betty’s ailing health and the realisation she had dementia, George put his own plans on hold to become her carer until the end. As Betty’s mind fragmented, George, from Missouri in America, rose to the challenges of caring for someone in the grip of dementia. George, 56, a former magazine editor and publisher, found strength he didn’t know he had and somehow despite his awful cooking and sometimes short temper the pair were just what each other needed. Inspired by experiences, George has penned Bettyville, which has become a word-of-mouth phenomenon. The memoir documents Betty’s final months as George stands by her side. It is an honest account of dementia, understanding and acceptance  and, ultimately, loss.Extracts from son's novel

In this special edited extract from novel Bettyville, George talks about caring for his mother and how, by losing her, he finally found himself. His mother could not live alone yet vetoed all conventional alternatives. He pretends to be in control when she said.“Do not put me in a place with a lot of old people.”  There were days he could not please her but he knew deep down that her crankiness was an act, a way to conceal her embarrassment at having to ask anything of anyone. On some days she would swing between being just about fine, barking orders at our cleaning lady, sharp enough to play bridge with her longtime partners. Yet at other times, she was a lost girl with sad eyes. I was scared I would be the one to break her. I wasn’t certain what I would wake up to. One day I discovered her trying to put her sock over her shoe.


Reduce risk of dementia NHS guidelines:

Eat a healthy, balanced diet.

Maintain a healthy weight.

Exercise regularly.

Don’t drink too much alcohol.

If you smoke, stop.

Keep blood pressure at a healthy level.

If you need practical help for someone who has dementia – or you simply want to talk to someone who understands what you are going through – contact the Dementia Helpline on 0300 222 1122.

There is a wealth of information at His mother was scared but would not speak of her fears, they were locked up tight. She kept her secrets. I kept mine. That was our way; we struggled with words. He imagined anything made her a little happier. So knew her days were numbered in the house, built by his father. He polished the silver, fixed her meals, bought her new bracelets, left Peppermint Patties under her pillow, drove her to battalion of doctors. And her days were filled with little hurts. She bruised easily in the end and was petrified of falling. It is what she feared above all. It became hard to get my mother excited about anything, even going to the city. A few years back, when taking Betty into St Louis for the periodontist stopped at Saks department store where he wanted to buy her a new outfit.

Spotting Signs Of Dementia

According to Alzheimer’s Association, there are ten signs to look out for:

1. Memory loss that disrupts daily life.
2. Difficulty planning or solving problems.
3. Difficulty completing familiar home tasks.
4. Confusion with times or places.
5. Trouble understanding visual images and spatial relationships.
6. Problems with speaking or writing.
7. Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace your steps.
8. Poor judgement.
9. Withdrawal from work or social activities.
10. Changes in mood and personality.

After reading these signs it was then he noticed the depression had settled into her lethargy. She looked tired and was unable to summon the energy to shop for new clothes. He found it was terribly difficult when his mother was sad, angry with herself, tired of trying, even living. So found it physically exhausting and challenging even in terms of small things like remembering when all her appointments were or when she took what pill. But it was the depression he felt when she was depressed that almost slayed him the pain she felt he could not control that sent him to bed, unable to face her. It came to the point where he had to be satisfied if he could find one thing each day  a fancy dessert, a ride to a pretty place, a little gift that made her smile. Sometimes out of nowher could see the little girl my mother once was in her eyes. She was funny, sweet, bossy and mischievous. It is necessary to have regular check up to monitor changes.

So son wrote novel on extraordinary experience caring for ailing mother after dementia diagnosis to help others dealing with dementia relatives. Onus on men to care for parents is becoming a phenomenon not known in the past. It is important to get respite care to help both the carer and one cared for.