HAVE CONFIDENCE IN GOD

291754852_640

Confidence in God is inbuilt in the brain to receive information, process, to take an action, store, apply or discard based on relevance. So scientists successfully have mapped parts of brain enhancing positive thinking to enable reinforcing good thoughts. When we think about ourselves positively, we are stimulating parts of our brains involved in reward, motivation, pleasure, says Dr Stacie Grossman Bloom. According to Dr Stacie Grossman Bloom a neuroscientist who has three daughters who also has a successful career at the NYU Langone Medical Center in New York. She has examined the role neuroscience plays in boosting confidence. This is particularly useful to many people who need exactly that, she writes as part of this year’s 100 Women Challenge. As primary carers or nurtures the mother’s confidence rubs on a child in the formative years of growing up. A happy mother is a happy child and happy family so is important to ensure the confidence of the mother is especially enhanced and supported. It takes a whole village to raise a child so the woman’s confidence is essential for the happiness of the spouse and vice versa. Confidence radiates in a person so is felt by those around that person so necessary to promote positive thinking. The world is so full of negative news it may seem impossible to think or to feel positive at any given moment. However confidence in God is the anchor of hope and joy in spite of adversity.images

confidence-in-the-lord2Confidence in God is unshaken by those circumstances of life having assurance God is still on the throne. Confidence is something many people want but do not know how to get. We need to embrace our abilities, our values and have a self-esteem to be successful. Without it, we are less likely to seek promotion, speak up in meetings and rise into leadership positions. This ultimately has enormous impact as various studies after studies shows having confident people at work in position of power correlates with the profitability collaborative environment and improved problem solving. So with some practice, we can use neuroscience to help to be more confident. The most influential or the inspirational names around the world every year are full of confidence. In 2017, challenging people to tackle the 4 biggest problems facing people today like glass ceiling, female illiteracy, harassment in public spaces and sexism in sport. With the help of all hopefully can be coming up with many real-life solutions and so we want you to get involved with your ideas. 8aa3408d68e32286c91a4aeea3380fd6 CONFIDENCE-IN-GOD+copy

Thinking positively we know enhances self-confidence like all other personality traits reside within our brains. Alhough a large part of architecture of the brain is predetermined yet experiences and the choices we make continue to shape us. Over the course of life we acquire new knowledge, abilities by modulating the intricate and malleable connections between the cells and circuits in brains. We can utilise neuroscience to silence our negative inner voices and boost our confidence. These strategies work by engaging “value areas” of the brain. When we think about ourselves more positively, we are able to stimulate the parts of our brains that are involved in reward, motivation, and pleasure. One output of this pattern of neurological activation is we literally feel good when confident, we hold our heads high.Dr. Bloom with her three daughtersDr. Bloom with her three daughters

A healthy positive feeling is contagious so promotes those around us to be more engaged with us, whether its colleagues, our friends, or troops. The reinforcing reactions we see and feel in response to our confidence feedbacks to our brains to encourage more activity. So the first step is to push back against obstacles we know stand in our way being mindful of situations and deciding to be confident. Making complex decision is a multi-step process that taps into our emotions and engages many other parts of the brain.

Train your brain

brainWhen we have made the decision to be confident, we have to start training our brains. The Above brain scan details by DR. GYORGY BUZSAKI, NEUROSCIENCE INSTITUTE, shows the orange structure here as one of billions of neurons that is often stretching out to make connection (synapses) you see in yellow (more than 75,000). Those connections are what we are tweaking when we learn to choose confidence Just like mastering any other talent, gaining self-assurance requires repetition and time. Every time we do or learn something new, our brains adjust to store our new skill or bit of knowledge. This happens because parts of our brains are plastic and synapses that connect our brain cells, called the neurons, to each other can be modified, strengthened, and even newly created to store what we have acquired in this case confidence boost communication. From a scientific perspective people can blame both nature nurture for stacking the odds against them when it comes to valuing themselves. A biological reality is that women secrete different levels of hormones than men so react differently to the same world around us.brainThis brain scan shows “value areas” of the brain. DR PAUL GLIMCHER AND IFAT LEVY’s image caption reveal the areas of the brain in these images that are coloured to show they are activated “value areas” of the brain. Women tend to have a desire to please others, to seek acceptance, inclusion and avoid conflict. The way women respond to a stressful situations is different to men. While the men tend to take more risk when under pressure, the women look for the surer solutions and reach out to connect with others to manage stress. These genetic differences are compounded by the fact that we are socialized differently from the moment we are born and a pink hat is placed upon our heads.

Cartoon shows arrows coming out of woman's head

Boys and girls

As we grow up, young women are not necessarily taught to exhibit any self-confidence, and if we do, we are often criticized for being “snobby” or “stuck-up” or “bitchy” words seldom associated with men. We hear damaging terms like “women’s intuition” suggesting that we aren’t making strategic analyses, but basing our decisions on some ethereal gut feeling but study after study shows women and men equally data driven. And the relentless emphasis placed on how we look erodes our self-image and for most of us, gets worse over time. As a mother of 3 young girls, this resonates every time daughters receive another impossibly-proportioned doll designed for dress up, caregiving, or primping.

Some women in a perceived masculine job are treated with ridicule finding it hard to convince men they are as good and competent as required to do the job even with their identical qualifications trained by exact same Institute. These bias comes in underhand tactics, jokes derogatory of performance and hurtful comments that can affect confidence. It is sometimes deliberately done hoping it drives away unwanted females from an all male exclusive zone. These can be do traumatic for women that it is very necessary to educate men on how to act, behave or talk to women. Especially the women of diversity background raised in serious environments teach respect of the emotional feeling others. Healthy interactions are required in a civilised  society that prides itself on equal rights or equal opportunities. Women are still facing hitting a glass ceiling if they also desire promotion by climbing a broken ladder. It is well-documented we way we raise girls and women has a lasting impact on way they view themselves and their abilities. Negative messages will engender self-doubt and lead us to underestimate ourselves. The result is not only a nearly universal feeling of imposter syndrome but fear of making mistakes, suspicion of underperforming unattainable quest for perfection. This is what is shutting down when making a decision to be more confident.confidence-blog-Jan1-1

Practice, practice, practice

It doesn’t matter what level of self-assurance you start at, the more time and effort you dedicate to practicing being more confident, the faster your brain will change and the faster you’ll master it. So it is important to remove ourselves from situations and people who make you feel bad because confidence largely comes from being in supportive environment. Environment comprises people around us and what we choose to focus our attention on. It is beneficial to concentrate on things that are empowering and to steer clear of exposure to images and contents that make us feel bad about ourselves. The way we choose to hold and to conduct ourselves is another factor. The mental simulations help envisioning ourselves finishing a race, speaking in public to a standing ovation, mastering job, getting a degree can all help build ourselves up. Just as a coach gives encouraging pep talk to the team before taking the field, we can give ourselves a confidence lift. Notably, these practices have an impact on our overall health and wellbeing, serving as buffer to stress, depression, and fostering good mental and physical health. When we choose confidence, we are rewiring our brains and we are able to change ourselves and our world, for the better. So how would you feel if you can become more confident, happier go influence people in a more confident manner. With God all things are possible.

Reblogged and updated

100 women BBC season logo

Dr Stacie Grossman Bloom is Assistant Vice-President, Policy & Administration, and Associate Professor at Department of Neuroscience & Physiology, NYU Langone Health.

Advertisements

BEST AGE TO START FAMILY

DIqlGRVUwAASjVlStarting a family can be tricky business so you need to know when the time is right and if your partner is ready, and whether you can cope. Not all families are planned but more often than not, parents have given some thought to it. The best age to become a mother or dad is often a decision many have to make at some point in their lives. Now a new research by scientists point to ideal age 35 years. Thanks to science and media, according to Mirror Newspaper, signs, pressure and constant discourse about fertility seem to point to “sooner rather than later time as previously thought. A new research discovered the benefits of motherhood contrary the conventional wisdom. This new study conducted at the University of Southern California found out having a baby after age 35 improves mental abilities of the mother. _97789987_serenawilliamsSerena Williams played tennis during pregnancy and won with baby Alexis Jr. A sound preparation towards family life helps both parents to nurture the child better. The Guinness Book of Records the new mothers existing beyond age 60 as the geriatric mothers. Evidence of having baby after 35 years can increase life expectancy as research shows. This research of 830 postmenopausal women did several tests performed as part of research revealing participants tested on planning, visual perception, verbal memory, concentration and attention performed better. Women who had a first baby after 24 performed better on the mental acuity tests, problem solving, and verbal skills compared to mothers between the ages of 15 and 24. Mothers who had last baby after 35 had the better verbal memory and cognition results. Their increased mental clarity is thought to be related to oestrogen surge and progesterone in pregnancy. And the hormones are believed to improve their brain chemistry and functions if their pregnancy occurred later. Whether or not this informs a woman’s decision to have a child is up to them and should always consult your doctor about any worries but it’s still refreshing to hear having a baby at age 35 or onwards is not all bad news. So there is hope for many single women worried about their body clock. Since frontal cortex brain does not form before age 25 on average it makes sense to grow up first before trying to have a child. Often the world is full of children having children and struggling with shock and reality of caring for children and the pressures of motherhood in general. A 35 year old matured and experienced woman can perhaps handle pressures of sleepless nights better than 15 year old. Research confirms need to grow up first before taking on a responsibility requiring life commitment of financial burdens of taking care of children. Support is also necessary whether one has the children earlier or later in life. Most men really do not fully mature until about 45 years so worth noting that impacts their life. A family life requires hardwork, quality time and lifelong commitment so a child is for life no matter the age of parents.

JESUS’ HEAVENLY REWARDS

IMG_20170827_214404Jesus will reward believers in heaven according to quality of their work for God in life. An eternal crown category is described by types of effort or sacrifices made in life by doing the works of God. So Bible in 1 Corinthians 3:12 describes rewards as gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw.  That great day all will receive reward based on the foundation laid in building their life and ministry. So each person’s ultimate performance in life is built on God foundation of gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay and stubble, merits of rewards guaranteed. A loyal believer is guaranteed salvation in Christ if one remains faithful to the end so saved. On entry into heaven in passing or Rapture is the great reunion of family and loved ones in Christ sanctified by blood of Lamb Jesus. This guarantees salvation means eternal joy in God’s Presence above all plus reward of the quality of faithful servants of God. This rewards are cast at the feet of Jesus and believers continue in heaven praising God. They face reward assessment seat of God so believers receive Jesus their appropriate rewards entitled to by their performance in life by the grace of God. Various books of life and remembrance are opened and checked to tell believers their lifestyle deeds recorded by God. 5 golden crowns for righteusness, crown of life, crown of glory, the incorruptible crown, crown of rejoicing in the Lord.b8Gold star standard reward is based on a trial of enduring ‘fire’ process as Daniel and friends were tested in fire survived with Jesus. Jesus decides who is faithful so rewards believer’s shared testimony. Each reward level is compared to gold standard, silver, precious stones like the Olympic gold medals a person gets what they deserve by their hard work in life. Believer’s life work merits gold, silver, according to the record books of God. So a reward is compared to other precious stones like diamonds, rubies, sapphires as God decides based on assessment of their lifestyle history and faithfulness. Precious stones put through fire often produce the best quality priceless most durable treasures. A believer’s work is tested in fire check if merits high level precious stones quality or is chaff. firegoldstonesGood works of gold, silver and precious stone last as John 15:16 says in the Bible God ordains believer appointed, chosen to bear fruit that will remain. Paul said he ran the race to win as the disciples of Jesus do, saving others so did not want to be lost or left behind. Prayers of soul winners is their fruit will last to remain rooted and grounded in Christ eternally saved to receive respective rewards. So believers then can ask God for anything  within the WILL of God. God chose the belivers appointed to bear good fruit and for fruits to remain. So trees not bearing good fruits accordinly then God cuts off, prunes branches to divert nourishment to healthy viable plants and all grafted in. Some fruits do not remain as drawn away by own lusts or cares of the world. Like wood, hay, straw, stubble, burns in fire combusting too quickly so is not fire retardant or resistant. God’s Consuming fire puts believer’s works to test so good works last but others burn so does not last. Like parable of sower, seed on good soil grow 100% but others get lost or fall away by snares, cares or worries of the world. God’s Mercy, Compassion saves sower whose fault it is not when some believers drift off like the prodigal son. Freewill means some leave God, Ezekiel 3:33 and 33:7 says if believers saves soul his blood is not demanded from them. If believers refuse to save a soul his blood will be accounted for to God for a lost soul. God knows those ministered but if rejects God and soul lost believer’s work tried in fire receives a reward because such lost blood is not demanded by God. Therefore a believer remains saved in God’s Presence in heaven despite loss. It confirms what Jesus said that some use His Name in vain so He rejects them for falling short of Glory of God. No reward is given except God’s wrath sending lost into hellfire for gnashing of teeth.gold-silver-stones-fireSo Judgement starts in the House of God during Rapture those in Christ qualify so rescued from great tribulation way of escape to go to heaven. Jesus intercedes at the Right Hand of God on behalf of all believers to remain faithful to endure to the end so saved as His Chosen jewels. God so loved the world HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON Jesus Who died to set free all from sins and condemnation. Jesus after death and His resurrection visited and encouraged apostles, disciples, believers to reassure He is praying for them. But Jesus draws the line against those who totally reject God forever by not wasting time to cast pearls before swine. Those who reject God Jesus warns that if they do not repent they have no reward but REJECTION in return by God. John 17:9 says penalty of rejection of God is Jesus not praying for the world anymore after proving He is Messiah and Son of God Raised from death, healed the sick, did miracles, saved souls, raised the dead and fed thousands many times before ascension He told disciples to continue in the faith. But those still in the world not convinced He is Messiah unless all repent there is no more hope for them. Jesus continues to pray specifically for His disciples those saved He loves to be protected from evil viles. Jesus said in Mathew 24:24 if elect are not discerning can be deceived, as the rest world of the world who reject him forever, cannot be saved even if prayed for by Jesus they have reprobate minds. Like wood, hay and stubble burns forever despite time devoted for years to minister to help them but believer is rewarded by Jesus. All who prefer the world and things of the world burn forever in hell fire and their assets burn like wood straw hay or stubble. The material things confidence is put in life burns like wood, hay, straw, stubble to chaff ashes in God’s unquenchable fire without rewards.e0638f16bea1d1e3180d3f514774f661--the-day-for-the Jesus rewards faithful with gold, silver, precious stones but others in Romans 1, their rebellious destructive freewill God allows them to deceive themselves by a reprobate mind. Such prefer to honour creatures more than Creator God and so endorse rebellion against the church of God in Christ. God warns them Jesus is even at the door so cannot tolerate any longer those that choose to reject God. During evangelism powerful instruction given is test the spirit to discern if they are of God. Avoid time wasters sent to distract reaching precious souls whose last chance it may to be saved before passing on. God’s Word is the Seed sown and different soils represent people but God’s Holy Spirit Nurtures for Spiritual growth through watering and sunshine. This principle enables Jesus to decide if the believer’s duty of agape love or care for lost souls was gold standard, not to blame them for lost souls. God knows as HE records those who qualify for God’s Kingdom Life. The required Wisdom of God to ministers for lost is to depend on prayers of intercession and dedication. Many are lost even in church as Joyce Meyer says living in a garage does not make you a car. God before foundation of earth preordained those predisposed to salvation and those who chose to side with fallen angels against God. So keep up prayer and trust God that your fruits remain. The Bible says, God appointed those Chosen to bear fruit and ask God for more souls in prayer for God’s Mercy to keep you, family, loved ones and to save backsliders and prodigals to return into Father God’s House in Lord Jesus’ Name quickly before it is too late. In the long-run God eliminates all who reject HIM forever from HIS HOLY CITY PRESENCE to hell based on HIS WORDS in BOOK of Remembrance in Malachi 3:16.

2 RINGS AROUND 2 CARROTS

_97412737_ecefbc06-1a7f-4912-9886-967dab2594d3A Canadian woman got an extra carrot with her diamond ring when it was found in her vegetable patch 13 years after she lost it. Mary Grams, 84, was devastated when she lost the ring while weeding on the family farm in Alberta in 2004. She had kept the ring’s loss a secret from all but her son for more than a decade. On Monday, daughter-in-law discovered the secret and the ring when she pulled up a lumpy carrot. The carrot had grown straight through the ring, enabling it to be plucked out after many years hiding in the soil. She had decided not to tell her husband when she lost it, out of embarrassment, but she told her son. She went and bought a slightly cheaper replacement ring, and carried on as if nothing had happened. “Maybe I did the wrong thing, but you get so worked up,” she said, no one was wiser. This week her daughter-in-law Colleen Daley decided she wanted some carrots for supper.Mary Grams with her diamond ring-carrotImage caption Mary Grams with her diamond ring-carrot. Ms Daley, lives on the farm where Mrs Grams used to live, went to harvest some vegetables in the garden. Lo and behold, she spotted the ring while washing a rather lumpy carrot. Her son instantly knew who ring belongs to and called his mother. And looking back, Mrs Grams said she wishes she had told her husband, who died five years ago. He was a joker, she said, and probably would have found this whole situation pretty funny. Now that she has it back, she said she will be more careful. “If I am going outside or anything I am going to put it in a safe space. That is what I should have done,” she said. This is not first time someone found a diamond ring on a carrot. In 2011, a Swedish woman found her wedding ring 16 years after she lost it. _57636476_57636475 (2)A Swedish woman has discovered her wedding ring on a carrot growing in her garden, 16 years after she lost it, says a newspaper. Lena Paahlsson had long ago lost hope of finding the ring, which she designed herself, reports Dagens Nyheter. The white-gold band, set with seven small diamonds, went missing in her kitchen in 1995 she told the paper. Although the ring no longer fits, she hopes to have it enlarged so she can wear it again. Mrs Paahlsson and her family live on a farm near Mora in central Sweden. She took the ring off to do some Christmas baking with her daughters, but it disappeared from the work surface where it had been left, she explained to Dagens Nyheter. The family searched everywhere and years later took up the tiling on the floor during renovations, in the hope of finding the ring. It was not until 16 years later when Mrs Paahlsson was pulling up carrots in her garden that she noticed one with the gold band fastened tightly around it. The carrot was sprouting in the middle of the ring. It is quite incredible,” her husband Ola said to the newspaper. Lena Paahlsson and her husband, Ola Image caption Lena Paahlsson and her husband Ola say it is incredible the ring was found. The couple believe the ring fell into a sink back in 1995 and was lost in vegetable peelings that were turned into compost or fed to their sheep. “I had given up hope,” Mrs Paahlsson told Dagens Nyheter, adding she wanted to have the ring adjusted to fit her. “Now that I have found the ring again I want to be able to use it,” she said. Jesus says there is great joy shared when lost coin or treasure is found. Often the owner is looking for a ring, coin or lost sheep and persists until it is found. Similarly, God keeps on looking forward to ‘finding’ all HIS Children no matter how many years it takes to return to God, Rightful Owner reunited with their beloved treasured prodigal children in Christ Jesus Name.   

 

RETURNED CHIBOK WOMEN

_92117174_yola_afpThank God that the long-expected good news happened concerning some Chibok girls, turned women’s return. Some freed or escaped back in education. But one had amputated limb and was walking with crutches, an injury sustained, according to what Mr Mustapha was told, during the Nigerian military air strikes against Boko Haram. The girls all ran with joy when told, “You are free today,” said Mr Mustapha to the 82 women after all the names were called out. They all smiled he said, despite a subdued reaction as a result of the presence of the militants all armed with guns or in army camouflage uniforms and boots. Mr Mustapha took some photographs with the women._96078257_chibokhi039356204 The militant’s video camera recorded events and ICRC vehicles eventually arrived. So told to go to cars they ran, Mr Mustapha said. Immediately they entered vehicles, they started singing for joy. Some shed tears.” Mr Mustapha received a number of accolades for his work with Future Prowess School. He was a finalist for the 2016 Robert Burns humanitarian award given to those who save, improve enrich the lives of others or society as a whole, through self-sacrifice, selfless service, hands-on charitable or volunteer work, or other acts”. He was also given a 2017 Aurora Prize Modern Day Hero award for those whose “life actions guarantees the safe existence of others.” _96078650_chibokhi039356085He said handing over the 82 freed girls to Nigerian government is “the highest point in my life felt he did something worth saying to the world that I have done this,” he said. But in the series of letters from African journalist Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani this happiness is tainted with the sadness as some Chibok women are yet to return, or refuse to return or even go back after being freed. Looking at why some Nigerian women have gone back to the militant Islamists who abducted them is very complex and puzzling to many people. _92110166_reutersWhen news emerged that some Chibok schoolgirls, abducted by Boko Haram in 2014, had declined to return home with the batch of 82 freed in May, the world found it difficult to believe. Not even the release of a Boko Haram video showing some hijab-clad, Kalashnikov wielding girls saying they were happy in their new lives, was enough to convince the people. “They must have been coerced,” some said. “It is Stockholm syndrome,” others said. What else explains why any girl or woman, would choose to remain with such horrible men? Yet, some of the women rescued by the Nigerian military from captivity are willingly returning to Boko Haram’s Sambisa forest hideout in north-eastern Nigeria to be with these same horrible men.map

‘Fairytale life’

In January, I met Aisha Yerima, 25, who was kidnapped by Boko Haram more than four years ago. While in captivity, she got married to a commander who showered her with romance, expensive gifts and Arabic love songs. A fairytale life in the Sambisa forest she described was suddenly cut short by appearance of the Nigerian military in early 2016, at a time her husband went off to battle with other commanders. When she first interviewed Aisha, in the government custody for eight months she completed a de-radicalisation programme run by psychologist Fatima Akilu, the executive director of the Neem Foundation and founder of the Nigerian government’s de-radicalisation programme. “I now see that all the things Boko Haram told us were lies,” Aisha said. “Now, when I listen to them on the radio, I laugh.”

The pull of power?

A handout picture released by the Nigerian Army shows an insurgents' camp being destroyed by Nigerian military in the Sambisa forest (archive pic)Image copyrightEPA Image captionThe Nigerian military have been battling Boko Haram since 2009. But, in May, less than five months after being released into the care of her family in north-eastern Maiduguri city, she returned to the forest hideout of Boko Haram. The past five years, Dr Akilu worked with former Boko Haram members including some commanders, their wives and children and with hundreds of women who were rescued from captivity. “How women were treated when in Boko Haram captivity depends on which camp a woman was exposed to. It depends on the commander running the camp,” she said. “Those who were treated better were ones who willingly married Boko Haram members or who joined the group voluntarily and that’s not the majority. Most women did not have the same treatment.” _97056835_blurredAisha had boasted about the number of slaves she had while in the Sambisa forest, the respect she received from other Boko Haram commanders, and the strong influence she had over her husband. She even accompanied him to battle once. “These were women who for the most part had never worked, had no power, no voice in the communities, and all of a sudden they were in charge of between 30 to 100 women who were now completely under their control and at their beck and call,” Dr Akilu said. “It is difficult to know what to replace it with when you return to society because most of the women are returning to societies where they are not going to be able to wield that kind of power.”_96080364_mediaitem96080363

Still in shock

Apart from loss of power, other reasons Dr Akilu believes could lead women to willingly return to Boko Haram include stigmatization from a community which treats them like pariahs because of their association with militants, and tough economic conditions. Dealing with the aftermath of release is a struggle for some of those who were abducted. The “De-radicalisation is just one part of it. Reintegration is a part of it. Some have no livelihood or a support built around them, Dr Akilu said. The kind of support in de-radicalisation programmes does not follow them up when they leave. So come out successful in de-radicalisation programmes but struggle in community and it is that struggle that leads them to go back. Recently, visited Aisha’s family, still in shock at her departure, worried about her wellbeing.Chibok schoolgirls are reunited with their families in Abuja20/05/2017 Image copyrightREUTERSImagecaption. Her mother, Ashe, recalls at least seven former Boko Haram “wives” she knew, all friends of her daughter, who had returned to the Sambisa forest long before her daughter did. “Each time one of them disappeared, her family came to our house to ask Aisha if she heard from their daughter,” she said. That’s how I knew. Some women kept in touch with Aisha after they returned to Boko Haram. Her younger sister, Bintu, was present during at least two phone calls. “They told her to come and join them but she refused,” Bintu said. “She told them she didn’t want to go back.”

Life on track?

Unlike some of the former Boko Haram “wives” met, who are either struggling to survive harsh economic conditions or dealing with stigma, Aisha’s life seemed to be on track. She was earning money by buying and selling fabric, regularly attending social events and then posting photos of herself all primped up on the social media, and had a string of suitors. “At least five different men wanted to marry her,” her mother said, pointing out that there could be no greater form of acceptance shown to a woman, and presenting this as evidence that her daughter faced no stigma whatsoever from the community. “One of the men lives in Lagos. She was thinking of marrying him,” she said._90811551_nigeria_portharcourt_adamawa_borno464But, everything went awry when Aisha received yet another phone call from the women who had returned to the forest, informing her that her Boko Haram “husband” was now with a woman who had been her rival. From that day, the vivacious and gregarious Aisha became a recluse. “She stopped going out or talking or eating,” Bintu said. “She was always sad.” Two weeks later, she left home and did not return. Some of her clothes were missing. Her phones were switched off. She took the 2 year-old son fathered by commander in the Sambisa forest, but left the older one she had with husband she divorced before her abduction. “De-radicalisation is complicated by the fact that we have an active, ongoing insurgency. In cases where a group has reached settlement with the government and laid down their arms, it is easier,” Dr Akilu said. “But, when you have fathers, husbands, sons still in the movement, they want to be reunited, especially women.” Asta, another former Boko Haram “wife”, told me that she has heard of many women returning to the group, but has no plans to do so herself. However, the 19-year-old described how terribly she misses her husband, and how keen she is to hear from him and to be reunited with him. She insisted that she would not return to the forest, not even if he were to ask her. “I will tell him to come and stay here with us and live a normal life,” she said. But as with Aisha, the desire to be with the man she yearns for may turn out to be more compelling for Asta than the aversion to a group responsible for the deaths of thousands of people in north-east Nigeria, and for the displacement of millions who are struggling to survive in refugee camps.


More from Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani:Adaobi Tricia NwaubaniImage ADAOBI TRICIA NWAUBANI


Follow us on Twitter @BBCAfrica, on Facebook at BBC Africa, on Instagram at bbcafrica or email africalive@bbc.co.uk

THOSE DISFELLOWSHIPPED

maxresdefault.jpgSome of the former Jehovah’s Witnesses, live a disfellowshipped shunned life, leaving the religion is seen as a mark of losing faith. It can also mean losing loved ones, in many cases, friends and family are told to cut all ties with ex-believers, leaving them isolated and sometimes suicidal. “I do not speak to any of my family,” Sarah, not her real name tells BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire programme. Being “disfellowshipped” is exclusion from Jehovah’s witness and so no contact is allowed.” Last year, Sarah in her 20s was excluded by Jehovah’s Witnesses in this process known as the “disfellowshipped” members. She says it was sparked by her refusal to live in an abusive relationship. She claims her partner at the time was violent towards her at one stage leaving her with broken ribs.Alone.jpg

Removing the ‘wicked?’

Going to the police and involving those from outside the religion is heavily discouraged by Jehovah’s Witnesses, she says, claiming that elders within the faith refused to punish her ex-partner’s behaviour. It was when work colleagues noticed the bruising, and convinced her not to put up with the abuse, she says she fled the relationship. Sarah claims she was consequently disfellowshipped by the religion, and that her friends and family cut all ties with her. This is due to the fact that the Jehovah’s Witnesses think those outside their religion can be of detriment to their faith. In another statement, the religious group told the BBC:”If a baptised Witness makes the practice of breaking the Bible’s moral code and does not give evidence of stopping the practice, he or she will be shunned or disfellowshipped. “When it comes to shunning, Witnesses take their instructions from Bible on this subject as their Bible clearly states, ‘Remove the ‘wicked’ from among you.’ On the night she was disfellowshipped, Sarah said her mother refused to talk to her. Her father woke her up at 07:00 to kick her out of the home. Responding to Sarah’s claims, Jehovah’s Witnesses said while it could not comment on individual cases, “but violence, physical or emotional, is strongly condemned in Bible with no place in Christian family.”Sarah and JohnImage caption: Sarah and John (front of shot) told Victoria Derbyshire they were shunned by their family and friends. So is John, not his real name who became a Jehovah’s Witness as a young boy when his parents decided to join the religious group. However, two years ago, he was disfellowshipped as he missed Jehovah’s Witness memorial service seen in that religion as an important event. He had also begun to privately have doubts about some of the religion’s teachings, questioning the faith’s assertion that the end of the world is imminent, and that only 144,000 human beings will go to heaven. The 144,000 they consider as synonymous with “little flock” of Luke 12:32 serve with Christ as king-priests for a thousand years the other people accepted by God as “other sheep” of John 10:16 “great crowd” in Revelation 7:9,14 as the resurrected righteous and exclusively serve Jehovah on earth.Who-are-the-144000-Witness-of-Revelation-7-explainedBible clearly states specifically 144,000 are from 12 tribes of Israel sealed from all tribes in Revelation 7:4.” Nothing in this passage leads to interpreting the 144,000 as the Jehovah’s Witnesses. The literal number of Jews 12,000 are taken from tribe of the “sons of Israel.” The New Testament DID NOT replace Israel with any church on earth. 144,000 adds up from 12,000 from tribe of Judah sealed, 12,000 from tribe of Reuben and 12,000 from tribe of Gad, from tribe of Asher 12,000, tribe of Naphtali 12,000, the tribe of Manasseh 12,000, from tribe of Simeon 12,000, the tribe of Levi 12,000, tribe of Issachar 12,000, from the tribe of Zebulun 12,000, from tribe of Joseph 12,000, from the tribe of Benjamin 12,000. These total 12 tribes multiplied by 12,000 people equals the 144,000 who constitute the children of Jacob called Israel. Ancient history of Israel shows 12 tribes settled according to their names on their land as recorded in the political maps of Israel. Old maps show the names of 12 tribes written on ancient original Jewish maps in living history and world Geography.tribal-boundaries.jpg
The 144,000 Jews are ‘sealed’ for special protection of God from wrath of Divine judgment punishment and Antichrist to perform God’s mission in the tribulation period in Revelation 6:17. So withstand wrath to come in tribulation period of seven-years when God will enact Divine judgment against those who reject HIM and will complete HIS plan of salvation for the nation of Israel. This is according to God’s revelation to prophet Daniel 9:24-27. The 144,000 Jews are ‘firstfruits’ in Revelation 14:4 from redeemed Israel as prophesied in Zechariah 12:10 and in Romans 11:25-27 and their mission is evangelize the post-rapture world and proclaim the Gospel during tribulation period. As a result of their ministry, billions “of great multitude no one can count from every nation, tribe, people and language says Revelation 7:9, come to faith in Christ and saved. In James 1:17-18 every good gift and perfect gift from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of HIS OWN WILL HE brought us forth by the Word of truth so we believers are a kind of firstfruits of HIS creatures and become the Children of God in Christ.

slide_57

SEALED BY 144,000 FROM ISRAELThe confusion of 144,000 is the result of the false doctrine of Jehovah Witnesses. The Jehovah’s Witnesses claim 144,000 limited number of people only reign with Christ in heaven to spend eternity with God. These, the 144,000 Jehovah’s Witnesses call the heavenly hope. Those who are not among the 144,000 will enjoy what they call the earthly hope paradise on earth ruled by Christ and the 144,000. Jehovah’s Witness teach a caste society in afterlife with a ruling class 144,000 to rule. The Bible DOES NOT teach a “dual class” doctrine. The people ruling in millennium with Christ consist of the church believers in Jesus Christ in Bible in 1 Corinthians 6:2. The Old Testament saint believers who died before Christ’s first advent in Daniel 7:27, tribulation saints those who accept Christ during tribulation in Revelation 20:4. The Bible DOES NOT put a limited place in heaven so includes countless multitudes from all nations, tribes, and languages standing with palm branches before God’s Throne in Heaven. After the millennium life is in eternal state at the completion of the millennial period. At that time, God will dwell with us in New Jerusalem in Israel. Yahweh Our God and HIS people Revelation 21:3 dwell in perfect peace on earth Forever, inherit promise to us in Christ sealed by the Holy Spirit in Ephesians 1:13-14 as Co-Heirs with Christ in Romans 8:17. So 144,000 Jews handpicked exclusively by God from 12 tribes of Israel evangelise post Rapture world are not chosen by Jehovah Witnesses as they teach. And in addition already exists many Messianic Jews from the time of Jesus including the 12 Apostles, disciples and the Jews saved from all nations under heaven.

VIEWS ON BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS1

Jehovah-WitnessJehovah’s Witness religious view on the blood transfusions of people is affected and tarnished after John’s friends died, when a blood transfusion which is not allowed in the faith might save him. “It was a waste of a life,” he says. John says he later discovered his wife testified against him during the process that led to his disfellowship, which he believes placed great strain on their relationship. He left family home living temporarily in tents and caravans. “It was a very isolating time. I didn’t have anyone, I felt quite suicidal,” he says. He has now lost contact with his two adult children and siblings. “Sometimes I send them a message saying, ‘I love you, I’m still thinking of you.’ But usually there’s no response,” he says.Terri O'SullivanImage caption of Terri O’Sullivan kicked out of her home by her mother based on belief. According to Jehovah’s Witnesses faith of more than 138,000 members in UK and more than their eight million followers internationally. Similarly, Terri O’Sullivan left the religion 17 years ago, aged 21, and was kicked out of her home by her mother. She now runs a support network for those who leave or are excluded from it. She says she is yet to find a former Jehovah’s Witness who has not experienced any depression, alcoholism, suicidal feelings or self-harm. She adds going through a formal disfellowship when they leave, the relationships become affected. With some ex-Witnesses,” she says, some of their families will still talk to them but it is always strained. Jehovah’s Witnesses recruit by door to door evangelism and friendly volunteers are people centred.alone_in_crowd_8486Recruitment drive in Twickenham, London 1966Image copyright GETTY IMAGES Image caption Jehovah’s Witness recruitment drive in London in 1966. Founded in US towards end of the 19th Century, under leadership of Charles Taze Russell. The Headquarters in New York. They think traditional Christian Churches deviated from the true teachings of the Bible, and do not work in full harmony with God. Traditional Christian Churches do not regard the movement as a mainstream Christian denomination because rejects Christian doctrine’s Trinity: LORD GOD ALMIGHTY the Father and Lord God Almighty the Son Jesus and God Holy Spirit. As heirs to a throne are revered at same level of Kings and Queens so KING OF Kings Yahweh represented by Jesus deserves Glory and Honour. The Jehovah’s Witnesses do not believe that Jesus will come back to earth to Rule in the flesh. The Bible says anyone who does not believe Jesus came on earth in the flesh is anti-Christ and anyone who does not believe Jesus will return in the flesh to be seen by the whole world is an anti-Christ too. They lie Jesus already returned in 1911 to earth as an Invisible Spirit and Jehovah’s Witnesses say Jesus dematerialised into Archangel so they will rule the earth replacing Jesus. So believe humanity in “last day’s”  final battle between good evil happenings.shunning-300x256573905-2984-22

Sarah says loss of her closest family ties is “very, very difficult” to cope with. She is engaged and aware she is “having to plan a wedding where your parents won’t attend.” “I would class myself as an orphan, which is quite sad,” she says. Her support network comes the friends at work. When she left the faith, they “rallied around” her in contrast to what she expected. Jehovah’s Witness people are told non members are awful, so bad association and so God is going to smite them all during Armageddon. To Sarah’s surprise people opened up their homes to her and support her.

Lasting Good Memories

Sarah is still, however, complimentary about most of the people in her former faith. “There are good people in that religion, who believe they are saving people’s lives by spreading the faith’s message,” she says. “I look back with some happy memories, because they were the last memories I have with my family and siblings. “But then I do have to look back and feel a lot of heartbreak that I’m never going to be able to sit down with them for a Sunday meal again. “When they die, I probably won’t be invited to the funeral either.”

Watch Victoria Derbyshire programme on weekdays between 09:00 and 11:00 on BBC Two and BBC News channel.

DOES LOOKS AFFECT JOBS?

hqdefaultDoes looks affect jobs and will your face land you a dream job? Some measure expected standard face as a potential employer to decide whose face best fits the job. This new trend selects mostly females based on their looks or shape of their faces. Some companies go as far as asking for pictures in advance and then measuring faces with tape during their interviews for their required face. This matter is becoming an issue of concern as some do not hear from the employer again after their receiving photos. This way of employing staff members was again in the news. BLcsr71CAAEkR4ySo is this another stereotypical selection method of the beauty considered fit for a workplace? This method is based on facial profiling by face reader’s opinions who claim to predict suitable jobs for specific faces. They are consulted to analyse faces to determine the best face for each job. Is this another underhand tactics and an excuse to discriminate against certain faces? It is possible to send own air brushed picture to look impressive often people send a younger photo than their current looks. 364309F600000578-3689902-image-a-3_1468489483342Are companies being influenced by the modern concepts of what constitutes good looks online in the media as true standard beauty? What about ‘Ugly Betty’ chosen to help her boss from getting distracted by his beautiful secretaries to focus on managing his company. What happens if a company is catfished as happens often in many cases including Sarah who got a job from a university based on her photo of previous youthful years. The university appointed her and on arrival for work turned out to be confronted by an old lady three times her age. Sarah did not indicate her current age to them so it was assumed she looked like the photo sent. At first, the university thought it was a mix up until she confirmed her identity and she enough she was the same person. She was allowed to do the job based on her excellent and genuine track record on her CV qualifications and work history. Sarah although het looks did not affect her job turned out to be a nightmare. Sarah told university zoology director, she must live literary with all the animals in her home. ae840eace1a73d45b1ba4ac9d0668f97Therefore Sarah turned posh university accommodation into animal husbandry for her practical research. Her teaching produced great students so made up for lack of her youthful look Was tolerated to live among her beloved animals till she died unexpectedly. Sarah carried on dutifully for many years but became a victim of her own success. One of the animals bit her while taking him to a vet in her vehicle became infected by rhesus as he carried that disease. IMG_20170720_194117 Sarah dedicated her phenomenal long life collaborating with the university for many years. The university afterwards took the animals to the appropriate zoo set aside for all other animals. Then the house was refurbished and restored for new person employed to fill her place. Sarah was a great character and loyal to her beloved animals and carried on with her zoologist passion to a whole new level. Her presence at university was well-known so she was popular and well loved, one of a kind in that gated community. Her research papers, work was immaculate in both classroom and outside winning many awards. Sarah’s looks and age did not hinder or affect her work in at all. So if the university had based the choice on only superficial or aesthetic looks to reject application, they would have missed out on her skills, talents and practical abilities for many years, as an impressive scientist. So do looks really help in choosing the most competent staff members? Sarah’s job technically did not have age limits in those days so she was able to do her work perfectly well. Sarah did what she loved most so died doing her job carried on faithfully to the end. So is it fair and ethically moral to demand specific looks to determine certain jobs?