TO EAT IS A GIFT FROM GOD

 The youngster from Missouri is a keen footballerThe Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:13 that the ability to eat and drink with joy and satisfaction is everyone’s gift from God. So people should eat and drink and take pleasure in all their work this is God’s gift to man. Moreover be grateful and thankful to God and enjoy this gift from God by sharing your food with family and friends. So when a teenager was unable to swallow food he became ill not able to teenager was left fighting for his life after his esophagus was torn by a ham and cheese sandwich he ate. Alec Hebblethwaite, 14, spent 106 days in hospital diagnosed with chronic immune system disease eosinophilic esophagitis. Alec Hebblethwaite, 14, in the hospital after terrifying injury. The schoolboy’s mum Kasey Hunter, 35, first noticed something was out of ordinary last April when he ate a cracker during football practice and threw up blood. She took him to the ER where medics said he had scratched his esophagus and told him to stick to soft foods to give it the chance to heal. But the following month, Kasey took Alec to Walmart between football games to grab a snack and he choked on a ham and cheese sandwich. He was rushed to hospital with chest pain and doctors discovered his esophagus was RIPPED but when they tried to fix it with surgery found the wound had become infected. He later ate a sandwich after playing football which ripped his throatHe ended up spending the summer in intensive care, fighting deadly sepsis and having several operations where doctors warned his mom he might not make it. In November seven months after Alec’s first trip to the ER – doctors determined his extreme reaction caused by eosinophilic esophagitis. The rare condition causes white blood cells to build up in lining of tube connecting the mouth and stomach, which can lead to tearing and choking. Alec has to stick to soft foods and cut out rough foods and bread is believed to trigger previous flare-up because it can expand and cause irritation. Alec Hebblethwaite, 14, in hospital following the terrifying injuryHe later ate a sandwich after playing football which ripped his throat. His mum first noticed something wrong when he started coughing up blood after eating a crackerThe youngster from Missouri is a keen footballer. The Mum-of-three Kasey, of Kaiser, Missouri, said: “They said that if we had waited 12 more hours before taking him to the hospital he would have died. “We thought it was just chest pain he was complaining about but the doctors did a swallow study and found out there was a hole. “The doctors said they had never seen it in a kid before. It was very scary. “To stand there and look at your kid and there is nothing you can do for them… You just want to take it all away but you’re not able to. “I had no idea that this could happen. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that crackers and sandwiches would be able to do this.” He medical condition worsened after it was discovered he was suffering from an infectionHis medical condition worsened after it was discovered he was suffering from an infection After choking on sandwich on May 21, Alec, who lives with Kasey and her husband, construction worker Matthew, 36, was admitted to Mercy Hospital in Springfield, Missouri. There doctors tried to perform surgery to repair esophagus but were forced to delay it after opening his chest to find suffering from infection. Alec was transferred to Children’s Mercy in Kansas City, Missouri, where he was admitted to Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. He had a chest tube and drain inserted to help get rid of infection and later surgery to remove his gallbladder infected. Alec, discharged on September 3 and was diagnosed with the rare condition until two months later. He said: “At first I didn’t know anything was wrong at all I just felt like a bit of sandwich stuck in my throat. “But after I found it really hard to get up and my throat hurt. I was in a lot of pain. “I don’t remember most of my time in hospital but there was a time when I wasn’t able to walk, which was very scary. “I knew things like this could happen but I didn’t ever think it would happen to me.” Alec still goes to hospital every few weeks for dilation, where a balloon is inserted into the esophagus to stretch it, to make it easier for him to breathe. Help family with medical and travel costs donate: YouCaring site: https://www.youcaring.com/alechebblethwaite-830977


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WOMEN EARNING LESS PAY

1561_A4_Email_Poster.inddWomen are rewarded less for loyalty and are paid up to a quarter less than their male colleagues in the most male-dominated occupations according to an analysis of gender gaps. While the UK’s overall gender pay gap been steadily shrinking over the years, the median salary for men working full-time is still nine per cent higher for women. And so defenders cite the fact that women tend to do different and less well paid jobs than men, earning less on average. New figures from the Office for National Statistics show the big discrepancies in pay between men and women engaged in similar job. The unequal occupations in terms of pay are skilled trades roles with the pay gap standing at 24.8 per cent among these jobs.IMG_20180117_155822 Chief Executives and Senior Officials came in a close second with a gender pay gap of 24.7 per cent. Same jobs % pay gap for full-time workers different occupations found the Chief Executives and Senior Officials Managers and Directors Other Managers, Proprietors Professional Associate Professional and Technical Administrative, Secretarial Skilled Trades Caring Leisure, Services Sales and Customer Service Process PlantMachine Operatives Elementary 12.5% all receive much higher pay than their female counterparts. So no coincidence that these roles are the ones which are the most male-dominated 92 per cent of employed in skilled trade occupations are men. This is known as occupational crowding. Whether through personal choice or discrimination during hiring process, women are less likely to enter these heavily male-skewed occupations, thus affecting pay.IMG_20180117_155345

Women rewarded less for jobs

In addition to finding a wide range of discrepancies on an occupational level, the ONS analysis also found that women’s pay peaks earlier than men’s (45 compared to 48 for men in the private sector) and that the gap accelerates sharply when workers enter their 40s. While the ONS ascribe this acceleration to women taking career breaks to have children necessary to multiply and replenish the earth. The analysis found women are rewarded less for job loyalty than men are. For example, a woman who has been in the same job for between five and 10 years earns an average of 8.7 per cent more per hour than a woman who has just started the same job. A man in the same situation earns 13 per cent more than a man with no experience in the role.

Discrimination in pay gap

The goal of this analysis from the ONS was to ascertain how much of the gender pay gap could be explained by examining characteristics such as age, occupation and job tenure. In the end, this model could only only account for 36.1 per cent of the variation found in the data, indicating that there are a lot of other factors could be biased against women. The report states:

“The analysis would benefit from information on family structures, education and career breaks; without these the unexplained element is over-stated. “Factors such as the number of children, the age of children, whether parents have any caring responsibilities, the number of years spent in school and highest level of qualification achieved are likely to improve the estimation of men’s and women’s pay structures and consequently decrease unexplained element of pay gap. “As a result, unexplained element interpreted as a measure of discrimination, although it is possible that this plays a part.”

AN UNLIKELY FRIENDSHIP

amurtimur1Unlikely friendship developed between a goat and a tiger, amazing the world. The fantastic friendship between the two happened when the goat was given alive to a tiger to eat. However, the tiger instead of eating the goat has formed an unlikely relationship between the two by sparing the goat’s life. People are also trying to figure out why the tiger which ate goats over the years yet at this point spared goat’s life. The goat flourished in the same cage living together with the tiger and relationship thrived between both unpredictable friendship between a tiger and a goat went viral so attracted more visitors to the zoo. 1336954294Against all odds Timur the goat is still alive even after he was meant to have been the food for his friend, Amur. The goat was thrown into the cage some time ago but Amur the tiger did not eat the goat. Pretty soon as the world followed their love story and became more intriguing. Even more fascinating is the fact that they lasted longer so created suspense as people wondered how long their friendship would last. Pictures were taken often regularly to show their friendship was ongoing and was real news at the time. Even more surprising is the fact that Amur gave his bed for the goat to sleep on.tiger-goat-friends Suddenly, the news brought the people increasing the number of visitors to the zoo. it was not long when the privileged goat begun to take liberties and kicked the tiger who had shown kindness to the goat. But this time the goat run out of luck because the tiger reacted to teach the goat a lesson by grabbing the goat’s leg. Unfortunately, the goat was injured so they are now separated from each other. The goat is recovering well and a search is ongoing on for a new female goat to keep tiger company. .xw_1189002.jpgTiger-befriends-goat-at-Russian-safari-park-Photo-600x330The Bible says that when a man’s ways please God, HE makes his enemies to be at peace with him. It is necessary to stay humble to enjoy the favour of God that spared the goat’s life. And not to “grow horns” by becoming proud and arrogant taking for granted the compassionate friend who helped save life. Thinking it was okay to head butt the tiger, the goat made a terrible mistake that cost their friendship. So it is good to remember to be kind to those who sacrifice personal happiness to help. In return treat them with kindness and respect as the golden rule says treat others as you like to be treated.

SCHOOL OPENS OWN BANK

Pupils save over £100 in new school bank!

 

Ws4g3Students at Walthamstow School for Girls have thrown open the doors of their very own bank.

11-14 year olds have been trained by MyBnk to get fellow pupils into good financial habits by offering accounts and loans of up to £40. Using real money, their MyBnk-in-a-Box scheme opens once a week at lunchtime and is also accessible online.

“I opened an account today with £2 and I think it’s important to save so you don’t have to worry about your parents spending all of their money on you! I would like to buy things for myself and be independent”. Amy 12, young saver.

Ws4g2Also opening accounts on launch day were the Mayor of Waltham Forest, Saima Mahmud and our patron, broadcaster and campaigner, June Sarpong. Scores of young people deposited over £100 in a single lunch break.

The young bankers now will also run incentivised saving and enterprise start-up drives for their fellow pupils. This is backed up with financial education workshops covering everything from tax and pensions to student finance, supported by Prudential.

“At WSFG we believe that our girls should understand how banks work and understand how to manage their personal finances. We try to build in transferable and lifelong skills that they will use in their everyday lives, as well as ensuring that they achieve the very best academic achievements they can”. Marianna Philippou, Maths teacher, Walthamstow School for Girls.

 

Ws4gSoon, Walthamstow will be joined by another London school bank, run by young people for young people. Savers bank on average £3.64 a week, 59% of their pocket money, an adult would bank £295 a week on an a £26,000 salary!

“The sooner young people are familiar with banking, the better they can develop sound financial habits like saving and navigate the system. We’re going all out for a generation that will have to make smarter financial decisions and create their own opportunities”. MyBnk CEO & Founder Lily Lapenna.

If you are interested in running the MyBnk-in-a-Box financial education programme in your school, get in touch via info@mybnk.org or 0207 377 8770!

financial education

GIRL’S PUBERTY & PERIODS

maximum-win-when-puberty-goes-right_o_4965805Girls of puberty age face discrimination in society so says the news again. Some banned from crossing river because of monthly periods. Interestingly, God put period in girls for reproductive cycle to be fruitful, multiply to replenish earth according to Bible. Functions of human body are God’s creation so people need proper education to learn to understand these female conditions. Modern times show deataile scientific knowledge on menstruation. So schoolchildren learn biology so know scientific explanation of periods. Period means a girl’s womb is prepared for child-birth each month. The girl’s body waits through ovulation cycle when egg is released to receive the seed/s to become pregnant and to have children. But since girls are too young to bear children and still in education they are not ready to give birth yet. So each month the egg from the fallopian tube is released waiting for conception in the womb. Since no pregnancy takes place, egg and womb linings are shed as the ‘period’ in preparation for repeat of this cycle each month. After birth a womb is still busy continuing monthly cycle until menopause when period stop. A natural of fertility cycle of girls is being used as religious discrimination against young innocent girls. The tradition of outhouse for periods exists in cultures all over the world to keep girls in a special hut.

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The concept of sacred ground of homes and rivers is used to put girls in special huts for exclusively the periods. Elderly women train girls in personal hygiene and after periods they go back to family compounds. The idea is found in Bible too so women are considered “unclean” from sacred spaces during periods. And must have purification baths and must abstain from intimacy during periods. In some places menstrual cups, pads or special cloth is used by women during periods. For those not going through the periods they are allowed to cook, clean and do chores. Those in periods cannot enter the family compounds until after periods. In places where a girl is safe, warm and nearby home period is time of “break and rest” for the girls. Those isolated in places exposed to elements is unsafe, cold, some are at risk from the elements and animals roaming around. Girl’s education is interrupted so do not go to school. If they to ask teachers to be excused from classroom to change in school toilet, i can be embarrassing to tell male teachers such details by girls. So it was concluded by some societies to exclude them during periods. Education is not continued and so school work lags behind when in the hut. No lessons or homework given for missed classes and some it is assumed must not touch other things to ‘contaminate’ it. This why girls in periods are banned from the homes and school still an issue in some places. Other issues of sanitation or washing of cloth or disposing of used pads in home is of concern too. Often a sight of blood is considered sacred to must not touch or taint home or certain holy places. It is necessary to educate people periods are like any normal health experience. Talking-To-Boys-About-Puberty-Periods-And-Girls

Homeschooling during period if this is possible can be set up by the schools to ensure education of these girls are not compromised. Homework can be given but this idea is not popular so girls are affected. The elders making laws need to understand value of a girl’s education often misconstrued as waste of time or money. They say, after all girl’s just end up in kitchen so less education thought as easy way to control girls. This issue has several underlying causes needing to be addressed for the human rights of girls to have periods without attack on their education. In addition the societies can learn from others in other parts of the world on how a girls’ periods does not interrupt education. To some extent social stigma is attached to periods so a natural mood swings and mood changes or pain responded to as ‘oh it’s that time again.’ On other occasions, even if girl is not in their periods is assumed they are always daily going through the periodic cycle. Girls not allowed to touch certain objects in extreme cases even the Bible considered too Holy if in period. Periods-in-Developing-Countries-Header-1Period matters need to be dealt with very carefully in harmony with views of community which associated, interprets lack of rain or good harvests as results of human actions and behaviours. The people who are aware notice changes in the girls during periods so may feel it is inappropriate to socialize in that state. It is awkward for some men unaware of real meaning of a girl’s monthly cycles. Whatever methods girls choose or are available to that society, the well-being of girls must be ensured. Organisations can support by donating their essential personal hygiene items too expensive to buy in some places. The disposal must be done discreetly so the used pads not dragged by dogs from local damp sites. These needs are beyond young girls to meet by own efforts. So discrimination against girls must be reconsidered to stop ‘gods’ harrassing girls to realise God  ALMIGHTY created girls in HIS IMAGE to reproduce on earth.

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Psalm 115:5 says gods have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes but not see so are just man-made idols in Habakkuk 2:18, 1 Kings 18 :26. God ALMIGHTY in the heavens demands veneration by people. Psalm 135:16 says gods have mouths but cannot speak, eyes but not see. A born again Christian believer in Christ is to practice WORSHIP of God only. Christ Shed His precious Blood to cleanse all people including girls in their periods. Believers cannot partake in any idolatry of gods or heathen practice if they claim to be saved. In the 21 century education available to bring an awareness and the relevant knowledge. This issue must be resolved properly to stop picking on the girls going through periods. It is not the fault of girls to put up with natural cycle tolerated monthly with no choice or any control over natural period issues.2-infographic-education God’s plans and purpose for girls is for birth of mankind so must be celebrated not punish girls for being in periods. In addition, a community’s actions are also known and seen by God who will hold decision makers accountable. So read Revelations 19:15 about God’s dealings with leaders in society. Isaiah 44:18 says gods know nothing, understand nothing their eyes do not see. They do not know or understand anything. God shuts their eyes so they cannot see; and so have no knowledge. Those who carry about their idols or pray to gods are like them. The Bible in Psalm 115:5 says those who are praying or praising gods of silver, gold, bronze, iron, wood, stone do not know Jehovah God. Children’s rights activists hit out at traditional leaders banning girls from crossing river while they are menstruating from going to school._99558170_b239af05-8ed2-4257-8153-64b56e998a53Yet Krobo girls in Somanya Ghana are dressed and taken to the riverside for Dipo bath rites. Any girl who dresses in this way is identified as ‘dipo-yo.’ On the Saturday morning the girls have ritual bath (aya-pa) at the riverside. The girl’s calabash contain sponge so proceeds to Srendor (stream) for spiritual bath. The chief priest is told when girl has period for the first time and grouped together with other girls. They are checked to be ensure they are virgins. After that they have a ritual bath in the river and are dressed beautifully in expensive kente, beads on head and around body. The point here is the Dipo god seems to not mind puberty girls in river they literally are bathed in. Later paraded in town to celebrate them by the whole town. This great source of tourism and hospitality attracts people from all over the world. Books are written about this practice. kroboIMG_20180112_103548But in the central region Ghana girls have been banned from crossing the River Ofin by traditional leaders, who say they are enforcing what they call a “directive” from a river-god. Children have to cross the river to get to school in Kyekyewere, in Upper Denkyira East district in the Central Region of Ghana. This means girls cannot attend school while they are on their periods. It is not on period days: a second order from the river gods bans all girls from crossing river on Tuesdays.  Remember Jehovah created rivers and oceans so all are free to cross it. Unicef’s menstrual hygiene ambassador Shamima Muslim Alhassan told BBC directive violates girl’s right to education and freedom of movement.

It seems the gods are really powerful aren’t they? Sometimes I think that we need to ask for some form of accountability from these gods who continue to bar a lot of things from happening, to account for how they have used the tremendous power that we have given them.”

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PeriodTalk-Cloud-600River Ofin serves as boundary between Ashanti and Central Region. Central Regional Minister Kwamena Duncan given indications to coordinate with Ashanti regional minister to find solution. In Madagascar some females are told not to wash during periods and in Nepal some women are forced to sleep in huts away from the rest of the family. Girls in other cultures face this problem since education is becoming compulsory in many countries. Many cultures have myths and taboos around menstruation globally. This must be demystified and debunked to intervene on behalf of young girls to benefit from education. Kweggir Aggrey said if you educate a boy or man you educate an individual but if you educate a girl or woman, YOU EDUCATE A NATION. And behind every successful man is woman so men must listen to women at home, community or in corporate boardrooms for the greater good of society and girls. Stop harrassing young girls all over the world and study reproduction biology. Elijah told people to follow God only not any idols in the Mount Carmel contest by calling fire down to burn sacrifice of Yahweh the real true God. God proved to the people HE has greater power than the idols. Again Gideon was also told to cut down idol shrine grove to build new altar for God and sacrifice cow to God on the new altar. Almighty God does not share His Glory with idols so demands a complete total loyalty because HE IS A JEALOUS GOD. He wants to be the only one people worship not a bit of God and a bit of idols. So school girls must attend school daily in their period, given pads, personal hygiene kit, discreet changing rooms facilities and water to wash with.  

 

ENDURANCE & FORTITUDE

Wang, a left-behind migrant childChinese boy with frozen hair reignites poverty debate. Pictures of eight-year-old Little Wang were shared tens of thousands of times. An eight-year-old Chinese pupil, dubbed “Ice Boy” by social media users after the images emerged of him arriving at school with swollen hands and frost on his hair and eyebrows, has sparked renewed discussion online about child poverty. Many users say the pictures of “Little Wang”, who went viral on Monday, highlight that not enough is being done to help children from poor, rural families in China. They sympathise with the harsh journeys that Little Wang endures in order to get to his school in Ludian County, south-west Yunnan province. State-run China News Service agency says the boy walks 4.5 km (2.8 miles) to get to school, a journey that takes him an hour. On the day the picture was taken, the temperature was -9C, the agency says.Swollen hands of a migrant childOne picture that circulated thousands of times shows Wang received 99 out of 100 on a test, despite swollen hands. A photo of the boy, which has been shared by tens of thousands of people, shows him with swollen red cheeks dressed in thin jacket laughed at by classmates. It is seen in another image the boy’s dirty and swollen hands, next to the near-perfect work in his school exercise book. Wang’s teacher took the pictures on 8 January and sent to headmaster and a few other individuals, according to reports in state media. But they soon came to the attention of local and then national media, and the images went viral online. Thousands of users of the popular Sina Weibo microblog shared the pictures, using the hashtag #IceBoy. One post by People’s Daily received more than 277,000 likes. Many Weibo users posted messages praising Wang’s fortitude and perseverance. “This child knows that knowledge can change his fate,” says one. But others voiced their concern, saying that their hearts ached for him, especially seeing his swollen hands and threadbare clothes.Wang, a left-behind migrant childSwollen hands of a migrant child

“His frozen little red face and he’s wearing so little, he really looks pitiful,” another user commented. Some have responded by posting angry comments targeted at the government. “What is the local Yunnan government doing about this?” one asked. Others urged fellow users for their help in contacting the boy so they could donate money and clothes. ‘His home is made of mud and brick’ Journalists from the popular Pear Video website visited Little Wang to see how he lives. “His home is made of mud and brick and is very dilapidated,” Pear Video said. The site found that the boy is a “left-behind child” – one of tens of millions of Chinese children who rarely see their parents, who have moved to the cities to find work to support them. Little Wang lives with his grandmother and sister. He rarely sees his father, a migrant worker who is able to return home only every four or five months. The boy tells Pear Video that his mother left him when he was very young.Boxes of aid arriving at Little Wang's schoolThe Communist Youth League donated clothing and improved heating system to Little Wang’s school. Wang’s story has prompted an outcry in Chinese media for more to be done to help left-behind children. Some local companies have already responded. State-run CCTV says the provincial Communist Youth League has donated 100,000 yuan (about $15,350: £11,350) so that each child at the school can have better clothing, and for the school to improve its heating system. Influential news website The Paper shares the contact details of the Zhaotong City Youth Development Foundation, a charity that supports children in north-east Yunnan. Many social media users say they hope Wang’s story helps raise issues of social awareness of the poverty facing other children in poorer, rural regions. But some note poignantly that Little Wang’s case is synonymous with many other children’s. ‘SurblueDu’, received 2,000 likes for their comment: “No-one knows how many poor children there are, helping one is only helping one.”A poster of President Xi Jinping visiting people living in poverty

President Xi Jinping vowed to eradicate rural poverty in China by 2020

BBC Monitoring reports and analyses news from TV, radio, web and print media around the world. You can follow BBC Monitoring on TwitterandFacebook.

GUILTFREE WAYS TO SAY NO

Saying No for the Sake of Your Wallet

Request: A friend in need asks for loan.
What you should say: “I wish I can but as a rule, I don’t lend money to friends.”
Why it works: So its clear you did not single out this person as untrustworthy.

You shouldn’t feel guilty: Lending any amount of money can cause problems, says the communications trainer Don Gabor. It changes nature of relationship if the person doesn’t pay you back.”
Avoid the situation in the future: Never lend money to friends, you won’t get reputation as a Mobile Bank ATM. 9f8eab4c34bbdd4065c5809378443d16

Request: A coworker wants you to chip in $25 for gift for colleague you would not recognize at the watercooler.

You should say: “Oh, I’ve never really had a conversation with Ian. I think I’ll wish him a happy birthday in person.”
Why it works: Chances are, the person taking donations has no idea how close you are (or are not) with the intended recipient. By clarifying nature of your relationship emphasises intention to get to know the person better. So you come across as thoughtful rather than cheap.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: A gift is not a gift if an obligation, says etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh.
Avoid the situation in the future: If workplace gift giving is getting out of hand, take the lead in restoring sanity by circulating a card before someone can break out the gift-donation plate. Make sure others know you don’t expect anything on your birthday.How-to-say-no-to-your-boss-politelyRequest: Your third cousin asks to bring her boyfriend-of-the-month to your $150-a-plate wedding reception.

What you should say: “We’ve already had to make so many tough decisions to get the guest list down to size. We really can’t squeeze in/afford another guest. But I would love to have you two over for drinks sometime so I can meet him.”
Why it works: If you illuminate some of behind-the-scenes planning, cousin may get clue of inappropriateness of request.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: It’s your party and your pocketbook, says author Patti Breitman.
Avoid the situation in the future: Make calls before you put together the guest list to see the new additions you should consider as you plan.sayno

Saying No for the Sake of Your Time

Request: You are offered a promotion that you don’t want. Though it means more money, it demands more hours or more of what boss calls responsibility and you call tedium.
What you should say: “I’m flattered that you want me, but for personal reasons I’m not in a situation where I can take this on. Perhaps in a year from now things will be different. Can we talk again if my circumstances change?”
Why it works: If in enviable dilemma boss will understand you have personal priorities that take precedence.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: By saying no to more time at the office, you’re saying yes to other things you cherish, long walks alone at sunset or evening time with your children.
Avoid the situation in the future: “If a position opens up at your workplace, you could let it be known that you are not in the running,” Breitman suggests. Being forthright saves your manager the trouble of pursuing a candidate who isn’t interested.maxresdefault (4)

Request: You are asked to coordinate bake sale again at your child’s school.
What you should say: “I know I am going to disappoint you, but I’ve decided not to volunteer this year, because I will feel stressed. Is there any way to get some of the other parents to step up?”
Why it works: People feel manipulated into doing something like The ice cream social won’t happen without your help! If address the problematic pattern of one person’s doing all the work, you sidestep manipulation. If you say no, it force others never get asked to say yes.
You shouldn’t feel guilty: “You’ve done your fair share, and now others can do this job,” says Robinson.
Avoid the situation in the future: Encourage school leaders to present the problem to all parents,” says Robinson. “If people know an important program may fail, usually remedy situation.maxresdefault (3)Request: If invited to distant relative’s annual Lobster Lua, 14th year in row.

You should say: “I’ve really had fun in the past, but I can’t make it this year. That week is already packed for me.”
Why it works: “You’ve explained it in a way that doesn’t sound like a personal rejection,” says Robinson. “And you’ve asked for understanding, based on your need to take stress out of your schedule. Everyone can identify with that.”
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: You have only so much free time―and so much tolerance for flying lobster goo. “Don’t R.S.V.P. yes, then back out at the last minute or, worse, not show up at all,” say Izzo and Marsh. “That is the least decorous way of handling invite.”
Avoid the situation in the future: In a note, thank the relative for thinking of you and explain that because you tend to be busy at this time of year, he should feel free to take you off his invite list.maxresdefault (2)

Request: Boss asks you to supervise this season’s intern last seen with feet up on a desk, iPod on, Gameboy in hand.
What you should say: “Wow, that’s an interesting project. I’m really busy with the ABC assignment right now, so let me know if you want me to re-prioritize.”
Why it works: “Asking boss to prioritize tasks for you means so do not have to actually say “no,” Breitman says. If told to just squeeze the new task in, then do it. But keep a list of all the extra work you’ve done for your next review.
You shouldn’t feel guilty: You really do have enough work to do as it is.
Avoid the situation in the future: If extra tasks keep getting dumped on your desk, ask your boss for a meeting. Explain that the added assignments are making it hard to do your primary job properly. Ask if she wants to review your job description and renegotiate your salary while she’s at it.  AAEAAQAAAAAAAANxAAAAJDczZjg2NDEyLTE1Y2QtNDllNi1hNjIwLWY2MzgyYzc0YTA2Mg

Say No for the Sake of Your Sanity

Request: A friend asks to borrow car because own in shop to repair dent got while driving, talking on phone, and unwrapping juice-box straw.
What you should say: “I do not lend anything worth more than $1,000.” Try to avoid “I don’t have insurance for a non-family member, insurance policies cover the car, not specific drivers. If friend got into accident, it could make your premium go up. If you have time, offer her a ride instead.
Why it works: “Avoid blame on you,” explains author Patti Breitman. “Don’t indicate you don’t trust the friend.”
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: “Your car is probably the first or second most valuable thing you own,” says Breitman. “You’re protecting a big financial asset.” Plus, if friend gets accident relationship might be totalled, too.
Avoid the situation in the future: Let your friends know that while you’re typically a generous lender (“Of course you can borrow my snorkeling gear!”), your car is off-limits. Say-NO-pic

Request: A guest offers to bring seven-layer dip to party. But doesn’t really go with Greek theme you planned.
What you should say: “What a kind offer thank you. I have already planned the menu, but do you have any dietary restrictions I should know about? Be nice and ask to bringing something, like bottle of wine or a loaf of bread.
Why it works: Acknowledging the offer of generosity let person know did all they could. If the person has dietary restrictions so cooking difficult for you, relent and let bring a dish to eat.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: Person offered to be courteous. Saying no, you gives license to relax, enjoy hospitality.
Avoid the situation in the future: When you invite people, ask if there is anything they don’t eat, because you want to make sure your menu works for everyone. Emphasize the word menu, so people know that you have a plan or a theme for the meal (and so they won’t try to upset it).thumbs-down

Request: Future sister-in-law wants to throw baby shower you don’t want fuss.
What you should say: “I really don’t want a party, but thank you so much for offering. Why don’t we splurge on visit to a day spa instead?”
Why it works: “Not everyone likes a party in honour or wants to be center of attention with a paper plate of bows on her head,” says etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh. Unless she has her own agenda, she should understand.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: “If you decline, you are taking away pleasure from the people who care about you, but it is occasion to shout about or be quiet about,” say Izzo and Marsh.
Avoid the situation in the future: Announce what you would prefer to do instead of a shower before anyone offers to throw one.