DON’T WORRY IN LIFE

Focusing on the present will help apprehensive thoughts to disappear on their own Matthew 6:25-34 in Bible says do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; do not worry about your body what you will wear. Your life is more than food and the body more than clothes. Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself by trusting God to provide and guide you to make wise choices and prosper. And 
when anxiety or panic attack sets in do breathing exercise and remember great peace beyond human understanding is promised within God’s Gospel words bring consolation and joy. In Phillipians 4:6-7 Jesus said, Do not let your hearts be troubled since you believe in God, believe in Jesus. And do not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer, petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God passing all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. Jesus is in your lifeboat so it makes a difference despite the reality of circumstances. Isaiah 41:10 says, do not fear for I am with you do not worry or be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you; And uphold you with a righteous right hand. Psalm 94:19 says cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you in anxiety so great is God’s words bringing consolation joy.
Proverbs 14:1 says anxiety weighs down the heart but kind words cheers up. And in Proverbs 12:25, Jesus promised that,

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. John 14:27 states, Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. Psalm 38:9 tells us, All longings lie open before God so sighing not hidden from God. In Mark 13:11, if falsely accused do not worry about what to say just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.2 Corinthians 9:8 says God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. And in Revelation 21:3-4, And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, mourning or crying or pain for the old things pass away.” Job2:20-21 states Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I will depart. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away the name of the Lord be praised.”Luke 12:23 says,

Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For your life is worth more than food and body more than clothes.

The Bible proves again worrying as the science research shows is just a waste of time so advises to turn off worrying. The  Experts reveals the THREE STEPS to take control of your apprehensions, stop brooding for good.

  • Recognise that brooding is a waste of time and energy, not problem-solving
  • Focus on the here and now to let worries slip away and stop them taking over
  • Avoid distractions as these have the opposite effect to calming down the mind
  • Distractions don’t work in the long term as you rely on external things to be calm 
  • ‘Our minds are so capable of imagining things and our thoughts become facts’

An expert revealed three steps to stop worrying for good. Recognise brooding thoughts are a waste of time, focusing on the present and avoiding distractions can all help people to take control of apprehensions, according to Professor Hans Nordahl from the department of behavioural medicine at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology. He said:  people confuse ruminative brooding with problem solving, analysis or review, the content tends to be self-critical and self-focused and linked to negative experiences in life. ‘I usually illustrate it by holding a glass of water in my hand. Most people would say that’s easy to do, but if I hold the glass continuously for 2 hours gets heavy. ‘It works the same way with our brooding and worries. They aren’t necessarily that heavy when they’re short-lived, but they get heavy when they last for a long time. Recognise the brooding thoughts are a waste of time and energy and not problem-solving

3 STEPS TO STOP WORRYING

According to Professor Hans Nordahl from the department of behavioural medicine at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, people can take control of their worries by:

  • Recognising such thoughts are a waste of time – Going over things repeatedly is not a form of problem-solving
  • Focusing on the here and now – Get involved in real-life situations to allow negative thoughts to disappear on their own.
  • Stop seeking distractions – These have opposite effect on calming mind as people rely on external things to find relief.  Recognise it is a waste of time.  

Firstly, recognise that worrying is a waste of time and energy. Professor Nordahl said: ‘Reducing ruminative brooding isn’t as difficult as it may seem, but there are a few prerequisites you need to know before you start. ‘The most important thing about brooding as a mental activity is to realize brooding itself is a meaningless and useless activity. ‘It doesn’t help anything and has no calming or problem-solving effect.’ People often confuse worrying with problem solving, the former is actually negative, repetitive thinking about negative experiences occurred or the way they did reinforces problems. Once you recognise you are worrying, ask yourself if it has any purpose or if there is even an answer to the question you are considering. ‘Focus on the here and now’ in the spatial moment and do enjoy your life no matter how humble. 

Secondly, try and focus on the situation you are currently in. Professor Nordahl said: ‘Get involved in other more real-life things currently happening in your life. ‘If you focus on the here and now, the illusions  that is worry and brooding won’t take hold as much. ‘The thoughts continue to churn, but just let them be there and live their own lives. ‘Anything that isn’t given attention will gradually disappear on its own, and this applies to one’s brooding. 

Thirdly, Focusing on the present helps stop the overwhelming  apprehensive thoughts to disappear on their own.  

STRESS SEES DANGER IN EVEN HARMLESS SITUATIONS

Stress makes people sense danger in harmless situations, research revealed earlier this month. Humans are thought to have learned to identify dangerous scenarios for self-defense, however, certain circumstances can cause people to misidentify such cues. Researchers found people respond with fear when their stress levels are high. Suzannah Creech associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Texas, who was not involved in study, said: ‘These findings provide important laboratory data that helps explain why PTSD [post-traumatic stress disorder] symptoms exacerbated during times of stress, and the repeated stress and trauma in the battlefield may lead to increased risk for PTSD.’ Experts believe the findings could aid PTSD treatment. Distractions do not work so avoid distractions as it has the opposite effect on calming the mind. Professor Nordahl said: ‘Turning focus away from your thoughts does not mean trying to escape or distract yourself from them. ‘Many people use television, gambling, computer games or drugs to control or suppress the brooding. ‘Distracting self in order to calm down does not work well in the long run. You’re relying on other people or external things to get calm. ‘Trying not to think of negative thoughts creates a recoil effect, because the brain has to keep track of what you shouldn’t think about, and those are the thoughts you’re trying to avoid.’ ‘Our minds are capable of imagining things’

Professor Nordahl said: ‘some people often confuse ruminative brooding with problem solving, analysis or review, but unfortunately the content tends to be self-critical and self-focused and linked to negative experiences in life. ‘I usually illustrate it by holding a glass of water in my hand. Most people say that’s easy to do, but if I hold a glass continuously for two hours it gets heavy. ‘It works the same way with brooding and worries. They aren’t necessarily heavy when they’re short-lived, but they get heavy when they last for a long time. ‘We’re well equipped to develop anxiety and worry, because our minds are capable of imagining things and our thoughts become facts. ‘Our capacity as humans to analyse ourselves or to anticipate threatening scenarios can be used in constructive ways but has negative and unhelpful effects.’ Life coach Sarah Alexander explained steps to low stress.

Courtesy: Original Science Article
By Alexandra Thompson Health Reporter For Mailonline14:08, 24 Aug 2017, updated 16:45, 24 Aug 2017
Rebloged & Updated on Bible Viewpoint
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A DEVOTED DAD SAVES SON

A father’s love and devotion for his son paid off extending to daring rummage to save lives against all odds brought tears to my eyes this morning as a good read for all to learn a life lesson. God is Faithful in most critical moments when all hope is lost Jesus delivers children as the best piece of article encouraging parents to be there for their children in time of need. In the country of Armenia in 1988, Samuel and Danielle sent their young son Armand to school. Samuel squatted before his son and looked him in the eye. “Have a good day at school, and remember, no matter what, I’ll always be there for you.” They hugged and the boy ran off to school. Hours later, a powerful earthquake rocked the area. In the midst of the pandemonium, Samuel and Danielle tried to discover what happened to their son but they couldn’t get any information. The radio announced that there were thousands of casualties. Samuel then grabbed his coat and headed for the schoolyard. When he reached the area, what he saw brought tears to his eyes. Armand’s school was a pile of debris. And parents were standing around crying. Samuel found place where Armand’s classroom used to be and began pulling a broken beam off the pile of rubble. He grabbed a rock and put it to the side, grabbed another. One of the parents looking on asked, “What are you doing?” “Digging for my son,” Samuel answered. The man then said, “You’re just going to make things worse! The building is unstable,” and tried to pull Samuel away from his work. Samuel just kept working. TERREMOTO DE ARMENIA- 7-12-1988Time wore on, one by one other parents left. Then a worker tried to pull Samuel away from the rubble. Samuel looked at him and said, “Won’t you help me?” The worker left and Samuel kept digging. All through the night and into the next day, Samuel continued digging. The parents placed flowers and pictures of their children on the ruins. But, Samuel just kept working. He picked up a beam and pushed it out of the way then heard a faint cry. “Help! Help!” Samuel listened but didn’t hear anything again. Then he heard a muffled voice, “Papa?” Samuel began to dig furiously. Finally he could see his son. “Come on out, son!” he said with relief. “No,” Armand said. “Let the other kids come out first, I know you’ll get me.” Child after child emerged until, finally, little Armand appeared. Samuel took him in his arms and Armand said, “I told the kids not to worry because you told me that you’d always be there for me!” Fourteen children were saved that day because one father was faithful. So faithful is God Almighty to us! Whether trapped by fallen debris or ensnared by life’s hardships and struggles, we are never cut off from God’s faithfulness. HE is true to His character, reliable and trustworthy and always counted on. So keep trusting God to the end, read the Bible and encourage someone. Matthew 18:1-4 says, the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like a child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. A child literally believes what is told so expects exact performance of promises. In this case the child knew his was there for him so reassures his friends that his will surely come for them. That promise kept their hope alive and kept them to hold on until they were rescued. In the same way, adults must trust God believe in Jesus so have faith in God who Keeps His Promises so cannot fail. maxresdefaultHindrances like earthquakes against people try to distract and stop God’s blessings but God defeats the opposer the devil. This is why it important to understand how the attacks of the devil tries to sabotage blessings and miracles from God. Earthquakes often as natural phenomenon process of changes in the tectonic plates of earth cause damage. So issue is man-made structure concrete not properly reinforced by shoddy work of construction. A loving human father defied concrete blocks to seek his son buried in the ruins. That bonding trust between father and son assured both it is well even in adversity. It pays off to allow a father to be part of a child’s life to interact playfully and to involved in disciplining children. Get on the floor to play with your children as playing with them does not diminish you as a parent. You enter their world and let your hair down for at least 1 hour everyday set a time aside in your diary, tell partners at work in board meetings unavailable to attend some projects. Remember they have only one childhood so embrace the precious years to create good memories for the future. Negotiate into contracts value of quality time with your family. A good ethical company provides for the children of their staff, time off for school runs, distance and location of job near as much as possible for couples to raise their children. Job markets cannot force people to abandon family unless a dangerously risky job so unsuitable that can children at risk. Many accomplish and achieve great things in the world so renowned but emotionally lost children. Human value is more precious and also more priceless than all material assets so do not be embarrassed to play with your children. IMG-20170818-WA0000Help children set up toys, play football, play basketball, tennis, go walking, run, swim with them to get fit yourself. The parent connected emotionally with the children gain financial security and also automatically takes care of emotional stability at a deeper level relationship. A child depleted from parental attention craves attention in the wrong places. A family bonding lasts into future years so ensure attachment making the children avoid vulnerable online predators. The child connected to parents will share an onset secret safely trusting parents to help them stop any ongoing threats of bullying and building their confidence. Expensive items provided in life is good enough but does not always meet their emotional needs. If bread winner, the house husband father can partake in the story reading too. It can be hard for mothers bearing children to let go for a father to join in to take over childcare duties and prefer the father to mother. Always treasure and loves enjoying the moments at the end of day by curling up with children to read bedtime story, to feel chaos of the day often slowly slip away. One night recently as snuggled up to a middle son Zevi, six with a copy of Charlie and Chocolate Factory in hand, a mother was told ‘wants Daddy today,’ sentiment again echoed by four-year-old daughter, Zeabella and son Rafael, who’s nine. A BBC newsreader reading for a living, said it was insulting enough to be elbowed out of responsibility that husband Phil too usually shared. IMG3297_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqzoK5uT2wTvu30RJXoHqq-ZAXHT4Ea86dTrIQm8CiHy8What really struck core was they all wanted Daddy to put them to bed, too. While on one hand high-fiving myself for being granted early dismissal from parenting duties, deep down felt hurt. This came days after holidays during which preferring Daddy became the recurring theme. It began in the taxi to the airport with three shouts of, ‘I want to sit next to Daddy.’ Then in departure lounge it was, ‘Daddy, sit next to me.’ Boarding the plane, they were pushing each other out of the way to grab the seat next to Phil, and for much of the week it was, ‘Daddy, hold my hand,’ and, ‘Daddy, swim with me.’ As they clambered all over him in the pool it began to really niggle. Spending time with him is more of a novelty working shifts allows me to be far more present but the sound of them shrieking and giggling started to grate. Why didn’t they want me? I had to bite my lip not to blurt out, ‘Without me you wouldn’t be on this holiday! Without me you wouldn’t have sun cream, goggles, books, iPads, clothes, sandals. Without me you might not even eat.’ Well, not the right meal at the right time of day, anyway. Perhaps, thats part of the problem as issuer of orders, the keeper of the diary, organiser, the taxi service familiarity breeds contempt for mother not fun like the nursery school. Mother has no time to mess about with them at bedtime or play games or just hang out. And become the consolation prize, the parent a child reluctantly sits next to if that is the only option left. It feels petty to be upsetting so mentioned it to Phil who certainly thought its oversensitive although admits can see it’s there. So try to shrug it off. After all the years telling kids not to be jealous of each other and constantly on the lookout for who gets more treats, time, attention or love than the others. The two boys often accused favouring of youngest child and only girl. Recently, Rafael asked why always talks to girl in a softer voice, ‘because you’re nine and she’s four as previously done. So now makes conscious effort to speak to them all in the same tone. In some ways blame father for if the child prefers him. Endless opportunities to gain affection by allowing more time on the iPad, more lenient bedtimes, sweets but never be short-sighted in parenting skills for the sake of earning popularity points. And do not create competition in marriage based on jealousy for love of your children either by father, family or grandparents. IMG_3448_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqKiXZQx93oSlqShjvKjhsvQeQxwNu9mZ1LooiSTYVBw4Perhaps Phil lets them get away with more than giving nagging more quickly, but on the whole we are on the same page and present a united front. In some ways I do not even blame them for preferring him he is always ready with a joke and more patience than the mother. So, may feel little pang of envy now and then focus more on the times children want and need mother often if feeling physically or emotionally hurt so make the most of freetime. If in summer holidays they fight over Dad then enjoy relaxing with headphones on and read your favourite books. Do not restrict or intimidate child to cut off a relationship with mother because you feel jealous. It is essential on other hand some dad’s struggle to bond and interact with their children like the father shared online in true story. Terrence Mentor a blogger who goes by screen name AfroDaddy,   recently publicly opens up on personal struggles of being dad and relationship with his younger son, who seems to be indifferent towards him.

dad

AfroDaddy hopes by sharing his story other parents all over the world will understand they do not need to keep beating themselves up but should be open and honest to themselves and their partners. Their first son was adopted so it was easier for him and his wife to take turns to feed and care for the child. This made it easy for him to have a bond with his adopted child and AfroDaddy said however, his second son was a lot different. Upon birth, his second son already had an intrinsic connection with his mom. That bond outlasted his newborn stage and continued on until he was a toddler. That made it difficult for him. On his facebook page, he wrote that “It is quite a thing to be a dad who can’t comfort his child, who is constantly told ‘No, I go to mommy,’ who never seems to have a real, relational moment with his son.” He also admitted that he was jealous and admitted that it was a bit childish. I know its silly and childish but jealousy was real and disheartening Mentor said. AfroDaddy said all that changed when his younger son started warming up to him. He said over the past few months, his younger son would tend to choose him over his wife, which made him somehow feel happy. “This child, who would cry when I so much as looked his way, came to me for comfort and calm. Not going to lie I got a little teary eyed,” Mentor said.dad

dad

According to an expert family therapist, Leslie Seppinni: “it’s not automatic that you’re going to bond with your child. Usually it does take a little while.”You see some men do not understand the sacrifice and self denial involved carrying pregnancy 9 months, going through labour worst pain on earth, in pain breastfeeding after birth, the body bloated, and the man is envious and jealous of children being nurtured as their parents did for them. They put all their anger, bitterness, frustrations on for ” ruining ” their happiness. So put anger on innocent children by breaking their toys in front of them, bashing wall knocking holes in walls, kicking the dog, thrashing premises in temper tantrums. The children copy such behaviours for some men do not understand sacrifice, selfdenial so envious jealous of children put their anger, bitterness, frustrations on children so accusing them of ruining their happiness. Mother wisely told me just because man claims to love woman does not mean he includes the children. Some neglect the children because they lacked the natural automatic soul bond that ties a child to parents. Preoccupied with envy and jealousy of their children seeth with hatred, venom vitriol instead of giving them real lve and attention child deserves from them. Quite frankly some are tall children themselves so not really have a frontal cortex so not fully understanding parenthood. The stories remind us of God’s LOVE, Favour upon our lives in Jesus Name by forgiving us as a LOVING father when even unable to appreciate God’s Love for mankind. And most women need courage to leave the child in a safe father’s good hands. Get a support, help needed, required training humbly than trying in vain to change a partner. Do not get me wrong billions of great and wonderful fathers and responsible are men out there yet it is the stupid ones that rock my feathers.dad

At the same time as transition happens and the father eventually bonds with a child, the mother now feels rejected and abandoned after doing all the hardwork alone. These stories reveal the modern trends of lack of daily extended family support putting burden on the couples to raise children alone most of the time. A mother can feel jealous too if a child prefers the father over mother at times. Children grow up very fast and move on with their lives. So create the precious memories for the moment to recall their childhood of good times. At the end of a it all, the couple have to live with each other when the children flow the nest. Continue to build up own relationship first and teach the children to respect both parents. Team work betwern the couple establishes firm rules, discipline and work ethics children trained apply in their own lives and marriages later. Parents must understand sacrifices and be mature to be there for the children emotionally instead of treating them as opponents in a competition. Often many children hurt, suffer or lost lives due to a parent’s immature jealousy behaviour and actions impacting their lives into adulthood. Some cultures with extended family support daily have clear roles of childcare rules so this issues may seem strange to them to read about. However, these real life issues exist and children must be taught from early years love for family, tolerance and the understanding of relationship roles, needs of babies and todflers, expectant mothers moods, supporting each other, helping around the home by every member of family, healthy eating, sound sleep, work, rest ethics and family principles, discipline, interaction and socialising skills in the community.  Where both parents have extreme upbringing viewpoints there is need to create hybrid middle ground of compromise for their peace of mind and understanding. No perfect family exists on earth, do the best you can and leave the ‘rest’ of family in the HANDS of God.

HUMAN LIFE BODY CLOCK

Body ClockThree scientists unravelled how our bodies tell time and won the 2017 Nobel Prize for physiology medicine. The body clock or circadian rhythm is the reason we sleep at night, but drives changes in behaviour and body function. The US scientists Jeffrey Hall, Michael Rosbash and Michael Young will share the prize. The Nobel prize committee said their findings had “vast implications for our health and wellbeing.” A clock ticks in nearly every cell of the human body, as well as in plants, animals and fungi. Our mood, hormones, body temperature and metabolism all fluctuate in a daily rhythm. Even risk of heart attack soars every morning as a body gets the engine running to start a new day. Science now explains in detail effects on body from changing routines impacting health and wellbeing. Hopefully will help to value, appreciate and take better care of the human life to maintain healthy lifestyle. .

body clock cartoon imageThe body clock precisely controls body to match day and night so disrupting it can have profound implications. The ghastly experience of jet lag is caused by the body being out of sync with the world around it. In the short term, body clock disruption affects brain memory formation, but in the long run increases the risk of diseases, including type 2 diabetes, cancer and heart disease. “If that system is messed up it has a big impact on metabolism,” said Professor Russell Foster, a body clock scientist at the University of Oxford. He told BBC he was “very delighted” the US trio won, saying they deserved the prize for being the first to explain how system worked. He added: “They show how molecular clocks are built across animal kingdom.”The prize winners

The trio’s breakthroughs on fruit flies but findings explain how the “molecular feedback loops” keep time in all living animals. Jeffrey Hall and Michael Rosbash isolated a section of DNA called period gene, which had been implicated in the circadian rhythm. The period gene contained instructions for making a protein called PER. As levels of PER increased, it turned off its own genetic instructions. Levels of the PER protein oscillate over a 24-hour cycle rising during the night and falling during the day. Michael Young discovered gene timeless and other one doubletime. They both affect stability of PER. If PER is more stable the clock ticks more slowly, if less stable it runs too fast. Stability of PER is reason some are morning larks and others night owls. Together they uncovered workings of the molecular clock inside the fly’s cells. Dr Michael Hastings, researches circadian timing at the MRC Laboratory of Molecular Biology, told BBC: “Before this work in fruit flies we really didn’t have any ideas of genetic mechanism body clocks views.” He said award was a “fantastic” decision. He added: “We encounter body clock as we experience jet lag and realise it’s debilitating effect for a short time, but a real public health issue when body’s rotational shift work is in constant state of jet lag.” A lot more attention must be paid to a human body to nurture or preserve natural rhythm.

 

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Previous winners

2016 – Yoshinori Ohsumi for discovering how cells remain healthy by recycling waste.

2015 – William C Campbell, Satoshi Ōmura and Youyou Tu for anti-parasite drug discoveries.

2014 – John O’Keefe, May-Britt Moser and Edvard Moser for discovering the brain’s navigating system.

2013 – James Rothman, Randy Schekman, and Thomas Sudhof for their discovery of how cells precisely transport material.

2012 – Two pioneers of stem cell research – John Gurdon and Shinya Yamanaka were awarded Nobel after changing adult cells into stem cells.

2011 – Bruce Beutler, Jules Hoffmann and Ralph Steinman shared the prize after revolutionising the understanding of how the body fights infection.

2010 – Robert Edwards for devising the fertility treatment IVF which led to the first “test tube baby” in July 1978.

2009 – Elizabeth Blackburn, Carol Greider and Jack Szostak for finding the telomeres at the ends of chromosomes.

CYBERCONDRIAC & ZOMBIES

internet-medicine

Cyberchondria” is fuelling the epidemic health anxiety of people as 1/5 NHS appointments is hypochondriacs and those with irrational fears, experts have warned. Researchers from Imperial College London said internet searching and use of fitness trackers is heaping pressures on busy hospital clinics. The Health anxiety is estimated to cost NHS more than £420 million each year in outpatient appointments alone, with millions more spent on needless tests and scans, they warned. Instead, such cases should be offered a course of counselling, psychiatrists said, following a five-year study of patients treated in five English hospitals. Researchers said the internet was feeding a “silent epidemic” of health anxiety, where harmless ailments could be mistaken for terrifying diagnoses. And they said the growth of fitness trackers was likely to increase levels of hypochondria, heaping pressures on cardiac clinics and neurology units.8112295_f520

Dr Helen Tyrer, a senior clinical research fellow at Imperial College London, said the anxiety was often triggered by an event, such as the patient suffering a health scare, somebody in their family getting ill or dying, or a celebrity their age dying or getting sick. The internet is fuelling unnecessary health scares as they are convinced they have or are developing a serious underlying disease, or that an existing medical problem is much more serious than it is,” she said. “The belief is held despite all medical evidence to the contrary.” Lead author Professor Peter Tyrer said the internet appeared to be fuelling the trend: “We suspect it is increasing in frequency because of this cyberchondria,” he said. “People now go to their GPs with a whole list of things they’ve looked up on the internet and say ‘what do you make of this?’, and the poor GP, five minutes into consultation, has 4 pages of reading to do. Although, 

“Dr Google is informative it does not put things in the right proportion,” he said.

The study, funded by National Institute for Health Research tracked 444 patient with severe health anxiety at cardiology gastroenterology, neurology respiratory departments. Some had genuine health complaints, or had suffered from them in the past but all had abnormal levels of anxiety. Those given the cognitive behavioural therapy saw a significant drop in anxiety levels five years on with similar death rates to those given the standard NHS care counselling led to discovering life-threatening illnesses researchers found.How are smartphones affecting teenagers?

Furthermore, young people obsessed by using smartphones are also affected as teenagers without Frontal Cortex Brain. This generation who spent their entire childhood and adolescence with USD of computers or smartphones feel effects, including negative impacts on mental health, says author Jean Twenge. Both children and parents can cut down on endless addictive use of computers ny ceasing the plug for starters, allowing supervised use within specified times including the smartphones and TV. A whole generation defines their identity by social media damaging family life, communication or socializing life skills. Many look Dow 24/7 without any breaks so affecting their sleep and mind throughout the day into the early hours of the morning. Many sleep less than 6 hours and function on clouded fogged heads we without clarity of thought or spatial awareness to adapt in dynamic here and the now moments of life. This ‘victims of technology’ success cannot blame their additive cybercondriac’s inadvertent lifestyle creation as addicts on computer gadgets, phones constantly monitored due to obsessive fear of their missing messages. And so people are too busy online in fear of missing messages that some put their lives at risk. Many lost lives not paying attention on the roads or when crossing traffic lights so endangered themselves and motorists. Now extreme measures are taken to endure safety on pavement light guides for ‘smartphone zombies.’

Pavement lights have been installed at a pedestrian crossing in a Netherlands town to help smartphone users cross the road safely. The light strips designed to catch the eye of people looking down at their device changes colour to match traffic signals. The lure of games and social media has come “at the expense of attention to traffic”, said councillor Kees Oskam. Dutch road safety group VVN said idea “rewards bad behaviour.” It is not a good idea to help such mobile phone users look at their phones,” said Jose de Jong of VVN, the Dutch Traffic Safety Association. We do not want such people to use phones when dealing with traffic, even when walking around. The people must always look around them, to check if cars are actually stopping at the red signals.” The lights have been installed on a trial basis at one crossing, close to 3 schools in Bodegraven. The company that developed the technology says it hopes to offer the strips to other towns in the future. Similar pavement lights are being tested in German city of Augsburg to help so-called “smartphone zombies” navigate level crossings.Feet on a street

Few play outdoor sports or engage in any physical activities unless gadget oriented therefore impacts their health and emotional well-being. This curious evolution in technology affects lifestyle connections, collaborating, awareness, appreciation of natural environment. Is replaced by downward spiral of looking down without switching off smartphone to look up at natural beautiful world. So overwhelms human mind by too much information cluttering though process. It causes unnecessary anxiety and panic attacks seen in some people. Teenagers with diets lacking in fatty acids become anxious adults. Omega-3 deficiency is widely recognised as a major risk factor associated with such neuropsychiatric conditions as depression, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Existing research has consistently shown the importance of good omega-3 status during critical development periods of perinatal and adolescent life stages. According to new research imbalances in adolescence may have long term implications for emotional well-being and cognitive functions said co- lead author of study concluding: “Omega-3 PUFAs dietary deficiency during adolescence and in childhood found strong increases in anxiety and anhedonia which lead to decreases in specific cognitive functions in adulthood.” Adolescence is important time in development. The structure and function of brain changes most during adolescence, meaning it is important for individuals this age to maintain healthy diet. However it tends to be time when exact opposite happens. Independence means they start making their own food choices and as a result skip nutritious options in favour of easily accessible convenience foods typically lacking in nutrients, omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids. Diet is critical as fact omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids cannot be produced by the human body and must be obtained through food. The study involved latest research conducted by a multi-institutional French research team with result published in Journal of Neuroscience. diets-lacking-in-fatty-acids-may-become-anxiousThis subject requires teens cut down sugar intake and junk food so human’s genetic make-up impact of nutrients must be taught more in schools to help educate pupils and parents from the early years. It must be a general study course for knowledge and awareness throughout life. The damage caused by lack of these nutrients is irreparable so must be taken seriously. A balanced diet meal is essential especially in the early years and adolescence at which point diet requirements need omega-3 fatty acids most. Glamorous poor diet during adolescence reduces levels of nutrient in prefrontal cortex region important in regulating emotions risks, consequences nucleus accumbens primarily involved in addiction. It explains why addictive behaviour is most prevalent in teenage years. The low-quality diet weakens connections between neurons in these regions, impairing brain development and resulting in observed emotional and cognitive changes. Research result supports earlier research of long-term consequences of the poor nutrition in adolescence and importance of making sure food choices contains the nutrients essential for brain health. Breakfast is key for parents to ensure kids are well nourished in the morning and given vitamins to supplement foods eaten. To eat more fresh greens and vegetables everyday enhances brain performance.

How to cope with anxiety

Dr Rachel Andrew offers her advice for teens struggling with anxiety:

  • Seek appropriate help if you feel you need it
  • Remind yourself that it only forms a part of your strengths, talents and abilities
  • Try and practise mindfulness to stay in the moment, as your anxiety will drive you to constantly think of the future and worst case scenarios
  • Try to stay focused on the present and more manageable situations
  • Take a break on social media or at least have moments in the day where you switch alerts off

BIBLE EDUCATION: ORAL SEX

Couple smiling under the covers at home in bedThe Bible talks of sexual conduct within God’s laws, regulations to enjoy loving each other intimately. God created sex so accepts and recommends the mutual sex consent agreement in Bible between married couples in 1 Corinthians 7:5. Its important to read God’s laws on sex in Bible not assume if church recommends oral sex its alright to do so. Often issues of harmful infections of STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) spread by spouse knowingly or unknowingly affects the married partner too. So it is important to discuss diseases transmitted by oral sex because people think it is the safest way to prevent pregnancy. Most people have the Actinomyces species bacteria israelii and bovis in lining of the mouth, throat, digestive tract, urinary tract and in the female genital tract. Practising of oral sex can be infected by contracting it without an immediate effect for years. This can develop into other diseases if the carrier passes it on through mutual sex. Most couples do not necessarily do tests as part of the marriage process. So anyone with the bacteria harmlessly in the body becomes dangerous if a person develops a disease, or if there is damage to the tissue lining causing the bacteria to spread out of normal environment. Actinomyces bacteria are anaerobic, which means they flourish deep inside body tissues where oxygen levels are very low. Bacteria living within deeper tissues are harder to diagnose, and they often take longer to treat. The disease can be triggered when internal body tissues are pierced, for example, by something sharp in the esophagus, or through tooth decay or gum diseaseAs disease progresses, painful abscesses can form and grow in size, usually over a period of months. Some can be severe surrounding bone, muscle penetrated. The infections can be large enough skin breaks open, leaking large amounts of pus. Be safe even if you agree mutually to engage in oral sex use condoms and do not use excuse it creates barriers to prevent natural penetration contact. A lot of couples get throat diseases, host of complex illnesses caused by oral sex.5fc5b207d20602a7d6798a62ad3b25dc

Types of actinomycosis

Actinomycosis can occur in virtually any part of the human body, but certain parts are more commonly affected. Half of all cases affect head, neck area, and the rest occur in areas such as the chest and the gastrointestinal tract. There are four main types:

Orocervicofacial actinomycosis

Orocervicofacial actinomycosis affects the mouth, jaw or neck, and it usually stems from dental problems, often caused by dental decay and poor oral hygiene. Actinomycosis cause abscess  after some dental procedures. Bacteria lives in dental plaque. Trauma to mouth or face also trigger it, including particles that injure mucous membrane. It can develop after some dental procedures. The infection may be obvious at once, or within one to several weeks of the trauma occurring. The person notices a hard, painful swelling in cutaneous or soft tissue, known as “woody” fibrosis, or they may develop an abscess. It is the most common form, and it accounts for 50 percent of all cases.

Thoracic actinomycosis

Thoracic actinomycosis infection can develop in the airways and lungs. It often happens when bacteria from the mouth and throat are unintentionally inhaled and enter the lungs. Symptoms affect lungs to start with but can extend to the area around lungs, chest cavity and vertebrae of the upper trunk. The person experiences weakness, fever, a productive cough or severe weight loss.

Abdominal actinomycosis

Abdominal actinomycosis infection occurs in the abdomen but it can affect other parts of digestive system, from the esophagus to anorectal area. It happens after somes case of appendicitis person develops abscess persistent fever and pain. Actinomyces in abdominal cavity can lead to infection in pericardium sac around the heart, or within the liver or spleen. Sometimes, a secondary pelvic infection may result.1200px-Actinomyces_israelii

Pelvic actinomycosis

Pelvic actinomycosis occurs within the pelvis as infection can spread from the vagina. It used to be thought that the women who use an intrauterine device (IUD) for contraception had the higher chance of developing this infection with extended use, but risk is now estimated to be very low, around 0.001 percent. A gynecological procedure can make it make it likely for women to develop pelvic actinomycosis. The bacteria can cause abscesses in ovaries and fallopian tubes and lead to complications with other organs within the abdomen and pelvis. Actinomycosis rarely affects a central nervous system (CNS). This can happen directly due to neck lesion or face or spread from elsewhere. It can lead to brain abscess causing headaches and neurological symptoms. Other rare type affects skin, bones, usually when infection spreads from deeper tissues.

Actinomycosis symptoms

Actinomycosis can take variety of forms mimicks other infections or neoplasms. It is important to check a private sexual act to see if it is causing health issues as pointed by medical journals referred to. This article informs people to become more aware of sexually related illnesses than can be connected to oral sex, they may not think is affected by oral sex. It good to be in know if sexual activities is contributing to complex health issues. It is vital to remember Actinomycosis as a bacterial infection also spreads through body tissues. Disease features a number of small interlinked abscesses. People have gems on hands even after washing hands. Multitudes of bacteria on hands mixed with bacteria in mouth, throat, digestive tract, vaginal walls is a toxic combination of hybrid gems evolving to complex infections of health problems.

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Symptoms differ according to the type of actinomycosis, but they may include:

  • Swelling and inflammation at the site of the infection
  • Tissue damage and scar tissue
  • Abscesses, or pus-filled lumps
  • Small holes or tunnels in tissue called fistulas that can leak a kind of lumpy pus.

The severity of symptoms depends on area of the body affected by infection. There may be pain and fever with body aches fatigue and generally feeling not well. It is estimated 75 percent to 95 % of actinomycosis lesions and infections involve other bacteria. Actinomycoses does not act alone so infections: group-B streptococcus, E. coli and a range of sexually transmitted infections affect babies at birth. Bible in 1 Corinthians 11:30 says for this cause many are weak and sickly among you and many sleep (die). Profaning of body and Blood of Lord Jesus through sexual immorality as prevalent in Sodom and Gomorrah killed people for their lack of knowledge and understanding of God’s Words. God says HIS PEOPLE perish for their lack of knowledge. Fear of God is beginning of wisdom for preservation into eternal life. A period of abstention every month forces a couple to build a non-sexual bond and sexual one. Helps build couple’s desire for each other making intercourse in the remaining two weeks more special. Gives partners chance to rest not feeling sexually inadequate. So emphasises self-discipline fundamental to high moral value sexual drive.

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Diagnosis and treatment

Laboratory investigations to diagnose actinomycosis include microscopic examination of a culture of sputum or pus, or tissue taken in a biopsy. Pus or tissue typically contain yellow sulfur granules. Actinomycosis can be chronic condition so long-term treatment with antibiotics is common. Patients may need treatment ranging from 6 weeks to 12 months. In some cases, surgery is performed to drain an abscess or to remove an infected part, after which a 3-month course of antibiotics may be needed to resolve problem. To decrease the chance of developing actinomycosis, people should avoid any alcohol abuse, maintain good health and keep chronic medical conditions under control and practice good dental hygiene. Countries with good access to antibiotics or dental services, the incidence of actinomycosis tends to be lower. Increasingly young people told “oral sex is not really sex,” so promoted safe no risk pregnancy no risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease alternative to intercourse. The Bible in Leviticus 18 gives a long list of the sexual dos and don’ts acceptable to God. As the creator and originator of sex God has very high interest in body His Holy temple so gives instructions in Bible. Ephesians 5:3 says to believers, among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or impurity because these are improper for God’s Holy people.” Bible says “immorality” is forms sexual contact outside marriage. In Hebrews 13:4 the “marriage bed” is pure and undefiled according to Bible, sex is to be reserved for only marriage. Oral sex is sin if done before or outside marriage as the contraception method. Natural rhythm based on the monthly cycle of a woman is the safest method. A few days of 3-5 days before or after her ovulation the sperm can still live on for gestation. The rest of the month is free for natural safe sex. Discipline and self control is required to check her body temperature measured by thermometer to signal safest days for intercourse. The problem is lack of alertness to record a monthly cycle. Impulsive sex fuelled by drugs or alcohol can blur memory. It is necessary to be in tune with one’s body fully so to know exact days of ovulation of peak time for conception. The cervix accompanied by mucous helps to know exact day of ovulation. And men must be trained to have mutual agreement as Bible requires. Sex on demand anytime because you are his wife with threats to seek comfort elsewhere lacks accurate knowledge. God wants a couple to enjoy intimacy and be safe as well. Be careful if pastors and ministers approve of oral sex because it is your body that suffers  consequences of a reckless behaviour.intimacy4.jpgIs oral sex a sin within a marriage?

Christian married couples ask question and Bible disallows oral sex between a husband and wife or any sexual activity involving other people like swapping, threesomes, etc. or lusting after another person and pornography. So restrictions principle of “mutual consent” applies to 1 Corinthians 7:5 text requiring couples to abstain from frequency by “mutual consent” within marriage. This agrees perfectly with rhythm method as God killed Onan for wasting precious seed in the Bible. To fully agree between wife and husband it is good to space sex and enjoy comforting embraces. Depending on fasting total abstinence by spouses is highly recommended. So do not force or coerce into oral sex in marriage in the spirit of good mutual consent. There is a biblical case for declaring coercion sin. It can lead to the complex health issues of health caused by oral sex. Marriage or sex is God’s gift for affection intimacy so moral duty for practising believers to please God in the bedroom. So biblically acceptable for sexual intercourse for a married couple to follow joy of rhythm method. God is not wicked wizard of the West denying pleasure within confines of marriage. It is to ensure that sexual interaction must not cause  curses of the disease of Bible in Deuteronomy 28 to come upon those disobeying God’s Commands. Oral sex is not free from sin by mutual consent if a partner becomes infected with diseases. This costs high medical insurance premiums and life savings to treat lifetime consequence of fleeting moments of passion. So people must know the connection between oral sex and their lifestyle choices. Oral sex is not as “safe” as promoted alternative sexual intercourse, sexually transmitted diseases published by medical journals shows it is definitely not as safe as it is often suggested. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, HIV/AIDS, and other STDs can be transmitted through oral sex. So be aware and take great care of your Holy precious Temple if you choose to please God.  In some cultures it is a taboo for a reason because infection spreads to the innocent victims.How-is-it-weve-managed-to-stay-together-Christ-1024x682STORY TO ALL MEN EVERYWHERE:

A man who lived abroad now 64 years old lived in the US for 35 years with his family. Throughout life with family did live ‘happily.’ Had a wonderful wife by his side but took her for granted, didn’t pay much attention to her always had a vision of going back to others. So had affairs she knew and made her feel very sad but never apologised only told to get over it as not first man to be unfaithful. She was depressed for weeks eventually recovers but said she was unhappy. He never went on family holidays with his family all the years. Occasionally travels alone and sleeps with ex girlfriends or a short-term girlfriends to fulfil fantasy, on return wife wasn’t attractive to him for weeks. So effected sex life not great as always thinking of other women. He left his wife and family, thinking grass is greener for a ‘better life’ elsewhere. It was trying to settle alone on retirement idea left family to set up business. They protested but went against wife’s word and daughter stopped talking to him but thought life led without them was best. It seemed plan worked so took all his retirement money and selfishly left wife and daughter, hoping can cope as she’s still working. Promised will be visiting the US often. It was exciting at first and had a beautiful girlfriend who flattered him. Within a year all his money was finished while business was not fully set up, confronted with too many set backs. Hit with brain tumour, prostate cancer had to come to US again for treatment. The wife and daughter did well to take care of him but did not feel love passion from them. Was very depressed because he needed them but realised wife and daughter moved on emotionally having a good life. Wife reinvented herself, lost weight, dressed smarter and suspecting seeing someone because she too happy.Making_the_Hard_Choice-4Within a year in America his health was better so returned to complete so-called business. Went back but sad without wife beside him as she has moved on emotionally after years of neglect. So impotent after cancer and not willing to embarrass himself has no woman so he is very lonely. If he was loyal to his wife and made her happy in marriage his story will be different. Please young men out there, read this story to avoid stupid mistakes he made. His life is in an utter state of confusion and cannot even discuss anything with wife. Now depressed and lonely, husbands make future plans with your wives, stay faithful and love her fully and make her feel special because you have only one chance and one life. Do things so your wife will bless you. Be careful of your plans of setting up businesses back in your old age. It is often fantasy so does not work. All the money goes down the drain. And spoken to so many men stuck in the rut with the same mistake. He had a good life in America but failed to see it. So not saying do not come back to where you are from. Men should not do this alone enjoy your life and wife as life is too short. The cancer spread and has months to live so advised not to bother going back to America because nothing can be done. His wife and daughter are coming to see him before his end and demise. Know the Bible in Matthew 28:18-20 says that Jesus came and said, “All Power and Authority in heaven and earth id given to me. So go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold I am with you always to the end of the age. Amen

PLEASE SHARE STORY IT MIGHT SAVE SOMEONE TO LEAD A BETTER LIFE 🙏🏽

BE HAPPY IN YOURSELF

Be happy in yourself and do not blame others because life is not only about you exclusively to demand always a 24hour self-centred attention from others who love you. A trend of right to entitlement to be happy at expense of others causes problems in families, society of online. The happiness demanding attention is ruining relationships. Some demand a nonstop unrealistic pressure from loved ones all moments be spent only with them day or night. So time taken to do things or working to provide for them is considered ‘dehumanizing neglect’ for not catering always for them only. Onus of their life is always shifted to others to become totally responsible for them. So like emotional babies, do not realise that growing up means taking a full responsibility for actions. Therefore permanently blame others for problems of their lives or for being born in wrong the environment to undesired parents whose fault made them as they are. Do not put all the anger, and bitterness on those who care about you most. As long as they receive help from everyone at all times without need to help others they feel fine.58216d1a9df4cedf435f5d8a037d7cc4 Dare others ask them to be patient or to wait for their turn often become angry or agitated throwing things at people or breaking things to hurt owners. These behaviour often starts from tantrums of terrible twos not corrected by their innocence not to offend them. Some sulk and cry for hours on end or, develop headaches from crying so cycle is repeated over and over again. A bad upbringing ranges from the spectrum of lack of discipline, correction, ADHD or autism not diagnosed early taking its toll into adulthood. Pride, ego, defiance, anti establishment becomes the norm so used to getting own ways for too long. A genuine effort to support and help them seen as intrusion although often naive of the outcome of their actions. Most of the time the very family considered not good enough for them end up picking up the pieces of their trail of damage to others. Always in denial of reality never aware of effects of their behaviour on a family, relatives, friends or children. In extreme cases traumatize or hurt others incapable of understanding risks or the consequences of an action in advance before it happens. Constantly operate in high-strung emotion demand that those around them always walk on egg shells. Unaware792e6019ecd1c629c0ad3c773ee524ca of social rules etiquette unable to tolerate if attention or a conversation is not only about them. So emotionally draining others yet complaining about lack of attention from those doing their best to live with them. Underlying this state of mind is influence of the liberal views of deception that they are their own self-made people unaccountable to nobody so must depend exclusively only on their own ideas, feelings choices egos without recognising impact effect of damage in hurting others. If not dealt with grow into megalomania, tyrants in extreme cases never content with their lot in life. Always want more and more beyond realistic expectations or available resources in life. Suck others dry but still moan about not being given enough attention. Emotionally draining accurately described ‘manic behaviour of such a person does not understand brain function process of information or instructions properly in the interest of the good of all others. be-happyUnhappiness causes bile toxic chemicals to affect mood swing, sugar withdrawal symptoms, substance abuses affecting genetics of children from some parents, alcohol, poor communication skills, lack of maturity, background experience that intrude into adult years if unchecked. Other times consequence of their sheer pathological wickedness stems from the habitual actions since childhood. Sadly, in schools, emphasis is more on a head knowledge more than personal growth development and emotional maturity required for a longterm living. Another factor is the attitude of certain men seen as powerful if they are rebellious to authority. Some ‘success’ sometimes equated to a bully who tramples over all others bulldozed their way to achieve their goal, be it on corporate ladder, or in family, church, abusers manipulate or attack those who stand up to them. 57c69b8d9a2cff284ba95ed892061acaIt is predicted in Bible by Jesus during the end time lawlessness will abound as such people become more haughty, and disobedient to authority hate discipline, lovers of self more than Lovers of God, high minded ever learning but unable to grasp truth. So cannot understand basic rules, respect, consideration for others. Always insists on their way or no way, self-destruct snapping because they refuse to help or correction to save them from themselves. Truth hurts but God says His people are destroyed for lack of proper Godly knowledge and proper understanding of daily roles in relation to others on Earth. Confusion today in society and wars come from inability to compromise or to put others first. Some insist their way is only way manipulate or force others put under pressure but indulge without listening or valuing others due to greed, love of money, fear. Worse of all undergirding greed motives spur them on to destroy others for their selfish gains. It is well-known in  living history many lives destroyer by not living and let live lifestyle agreement to agree to disagree to live in peace chucked out of window.

THE PROCESS OF DIVORCE

The majority of the arguments centre around the division of assetsDivorce is an unpleasant process more awful when separating couples cannot reach agreement, engage in litigation. Suddenly the love of your life becomes opponent and contributions to marriage is pored over by lawyers and potentially judges. Divorce can become gendered family lawyers will be acutely aware of the unfortunate tendency to refer to the ‘breadwinning husband’ homemaking wife’ This does not reflect the reality of many modern marriages but often it is the wife who undertakes most childcare and domestic duties, while the husband has created most of the wealth for the family. Most people think of the actual divorce as the most stressful element but is resolved fairly swiftly. For most married couples this reflects the basic principle of their union: you are a team, you share responsibilities and funds, and make joint decisions. So what happens if not on the same side? It was a question posed by most cases.workdivorcecomp-medium_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8

Millionaire businessman Mr Work was ordered to pay his wife half his £140m fortune in 2015, but fought the court’s decision, saying his wife ‘stayed home’ during 2 decades long marriage, during which she raised their two children. He argued he made all the family’s money and claimed to posses quality of genius enabled him to do this without support of his wife. Court of Appeal disagreed so dismissed Mr Work’s appeal. He must pay half of his fortune to ex wife, after judge accepts she is a ‘good homemaker and good mother,’ adding it was down to her willingness to move to Japan the husband was able to amass his wealth.78630843.jpg

The important decision for stay-at-home mothers raises questions of how judges should consider the spouses’ respective contributions in ‘big money’ divorce cases. Most people think actual divorce most stressful element but is usually resolved fairly swiftly. Majority of the arguments centre around division of assets or some technicalities or division of everything couple collectively own and earned during marriage. England and Wales is known to be one of the most generous jurisdictions there is. London is the divorce capital of world for fairness is central to process and in cases each party’s financial needs are met by the assets available, the starting point for division is 50:50. The Court has wide discretion when making financial orders and considers a range of factors. One factor is the contribution that both the husband and wife made. Thanks to new verdict, it is now settled law there should be no discrimination between breadwinner and homemaker. Staying at home, cooking, cleaning, reading to children is as important as working 12 hours a day on trading floor earning £1m a year. Mothers feel they make special contribution of ‘exceptional quality’ every day. Over the years various arguments used by mostly wealthy husbands to convince courts is award to their spouse to be less than 50 per cent. The favourite known as special contribution involves arguing financial input to marriage was significant award should be increased in their favour. To be successful need to amass significant wealth and show they used ‘exceptional quality’ or ‘genius’ to achieve this.divorce-370559.jpg

What about homemakers? How does this not discriminate against the wife, at home with the children every day? The wife quietly supporting her husband in his endeavours? What about spouse who sacrificed own successful career? Or those who are juggling both a career and childcare? Many mothers no doubt feel they make a special contribution of ‘exceptional quality’ daily. The Court of Appeal has confirmed this principle still stands though many hope it will in due course either limited or abolished by the Supreme Court. Litigation is bad enough without having to rummage into the detail of who did what and when to justify their contribution. In addition to cases where wife receives a substantial lump sum settlement such as Mandy Gray will get. In England and Wales one of the attractive forums in the world is for the financially weaker spouse paid maintenance for life. This concept is alien to nearby jurisdictions. Just across the border in Scotland, the maximum maintenance term is three years. However, this ‘meal ticket for life’ is becoming rarer. The Court looks at each spouse’s income and earning capacity. Consideration is given to whether or not having a qualification worked recently or assumes childcare responsibilities. The test is whether, in light of all these circumstances payee adjust to their financial independence without undue hardship. Judges want to see hard evidence of efforts of receiving party to maximise earning capacity.Family.jpg
Some wives may think its unfair if was agreed during the marriage that they would be supported financially and made sacrifices to this effect. Others may welcome opportunity to re-enter the working world; potentially a new lease of life after divorce. Although returning to work, for women, is unduly tough – despite the glut of ‘returnships’ now on offer from big companies. What is clear is society moves on so does the family law. Undoubtedly the problem is focus continues to be trying to achieve fairness for both husbands and wives. One imagines Ms Gray would agree that this has been achieved.

5 things about divorce Ayesha Vardag

1. It takes longer and be more harrowing than you think.

If everything can be agreed then it is possible for a case to be resolved in a few weeks but more likely exchanging disclosure, attending court hammering out a settlement will take around a year, and often more, and it can really wear you down. It is a marathon endeavour so important to keep your spirits up.

2. Ending marriage and finance issues are completely separate.

The reasons for the marriage ending will almost never affect the financial outcome and the court will not punish a spouse for marital indiscretions.

3. Courts less glamorous than you imagine.

Most English courts mahogany-panelled Victorian masterpieces, but most poorly maintained post-war monstrosities with hot, airless waiting rooms and windows that do not open, where you wait for hours on end, the tension is unbearable. Arbitration or a private family dispute resolution offers chance to move case to salubrious surroundings to settle it.

4. Nothing is “off the record”.

You are required to be fully frank about finances so lawyers are not allowed to help hide assets or lie to partner. To courts, honesty really is the best policy.

5. Can be cathartic experience.

Many people assume that divorce is an upsetting business. While it is never easy to bring a marriage to an end, for many the chance to move forward and build a new chapter of their life can be a rejuvenating experience. Usually the clients get happier, stronger and visibly empowered as process goes forward. Above all during the divorce ongoing conflict between parents can affect the children’s mental health, development of social and emotional skills, academic attainment and can impact their ability to form future relationships. It can also damage physical health, lasting through their adult lives into next generation as it starts early. Agreeing to disagree for the sake of the children is very helpful.

 

Alexandra Hirst is a solicitor specialising in family law at Boodle Hatfield