A SOCIAL GOSPEL OF JESUS

the-new-evangelization-and-social-justice-6-638Jesus preached a social gospel typically to diverse audience of religious leaders, governors, media, officials, the masses, to reach their heart, mind, body, soul to relate with others on Godly terms. This theme King put in historical context as part of social justice to bring awareness to each other. Especially with regard to God’s superabundant human resources provided and entrusted to all as stewards. Reverend King, the prophet, theologian, scholar, preacher, pastor dwelt on these social gospel themes analysing society’s lifelong struggles for economic justice, empowerment of the poor working-class people of all colours. King described himself as “profound advocate of social gospel” who tried to teach the capitalist system not to put profit, property rights ahead of basic human rights demanded people have adequate food, education, housing, decent job, well paid income. His more revolutionary quest for social justice, society above racist poverty, prevention of war not celebrated as his peaceful civil rights movement. Martin Luther King Jr. emphasised there is no intrinsic difference between workers. And King told American Federation of Labour and Congress of Industrial Organizations (AFL-CIO) an American important trade union in 1963, that skin colour, ethnicity must not divide those working for a living, he said. “Economic justice,” King said, required land so men must not take all the basic necessities to give luxuries to the few,” and “where all our gifts and resources are held not for ourselves alone but as instruments of service for the rest of humanity.” Same year, King called on President J. F Kennedy to honour emancipation of African-Americans from slavery in 100 years before. King said, a new freedom agenda is necessary. People gather at the end of the Poor People March on 19 June 19 1968 in Washington DC.This agenda was not only about civil rights so 28 August demonstration culminated in King’s “I Have a Dream” speech publicized 4th April Washington for Job Freedom. It was result of many years of organizing by black workers and their unions. In his speech, King said nations gave former slaves a “bad check” promise of freedom that did not materialize. And generations later, his dream is for equal rights for substantive change in people’s economic and social conditions. Though country’s adoption of Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act completed “first phase” of freedom movement King said. The “second phase” was for “economic equality” so everyone could have a well-paying job or basic level of income with decent levels of healthcare, education and housing. In October 1966, 100,000 copies of the booklet A Freedom Budget for All Americans, with introduction by King distributed by unions. Freedom Budget proposed a second New Deal to promote job growth of living wages for public spending on social goods. After 50 years since Martin Luther’s demand for equal human rights for all people, it is sad go say things have gotten worse. Although it is true that great strides are achieved since 50 years, some of these issues got worse for working classes. So many are suffering although they built the country and their labour, resourses or blood sacrificed as veterans to fight and defend country they do not receive the due entitlement. As a matter of fact society has shifted from human centred needs of Marlow’s hierarchy to selfish few depriving the majority. The divide of haves and have nots intensified and so many thousands now homeless and without food daily. It is scandalous tons of perfectly good food, clothes, items are thrown away instead of giving it to poor starving and dying daily. Government issued final warning to the businesses to report gender pay gap by midnight it emerged Conservative party did not plan to file its own figures until a day after the deadline. Amber Rudd, the minister for women and equalities as well as home secretary, said there was no excuse for businesses not to be transparent as deadline on Wednesday 4th approached warned them refusing to report is breaking law. Jesus-expulsa-vendilhoes-do-templo IMG_20180424_195818Those with 250 or more employees had until before midnight to meet the legal requirement to report a pay gap data to government or face enforcement action by Equality Commission. 50 years after Martin Luther King’s pleas for the social and economic system justice still society seems worse off. Jesus said the rich are getting richer while the poor get poorer due to greed of those in charge of God’s resources misallocated. Hardworking people are poorest dealing with lack of resources, hunger, poverty inspite of challenges keep their heads up high with dignity. Those in charge label them “lazy” underclass not worth same equal treatment. Those entrusted responsible to provide equally for them hurt them by their unfair policies. The world sees more wealth and more resources than ever before limited exclusively to those few privileged at the top. They ensure all their needs and luxurious wants met but despise other’s needs and refuse to provide for them. Many suffer and die needlessly because of such treatments and unfair policies. #Paymetoo women’s platform seeks justice from boardrooms exclusively run by men without realistic knowledge of women and family needs. Society is still run by draconian policies that treat women as inferior weaker sex not competent as male counterparts. So refuse to recognise great talents and the achievements of women globally in all spheres of life. Some men literally think paying women well diminishes power over them use pay gap to bully women. Interesting colleagues trained by same experts, graduates of same universities, employed by same company refuse to pay them equally because is male and other female. Gender is used to punish career women working twice to run the home, family and gender discrimination at work. 21st Century women in space contribute to all aspects of life. Behind every successful man is a woman and men need women’s input so pay well. It is important macho policies recognise a need to provide to help working-class children’s life chances and wellbeing as they are introducing policies actively to make their lives worse. Look at anti-welfare measures like cutting “in-work” benefits freezing housing and children’s benefits. So education system scrapped education maintenance grants, stripped school budgets so teachers are unable to afford paper for their pupils. Closure of local youth clubs and children’s centres as research from Barnardo’s this week finds funding to early-years children’s services has been cut by 50% in some areas since 2010. Families now choose between eating and buying medicines. social justice and the gospelPeople gather at the end of Poor People March on 19 June 1968 in Washington DC. Photograph: Arnold Sachs/AFP/Getty Images Before travelling to Memphis in 1968 to participate in garbage-workers’ strike King had been criss-crossing the country for weeks, promoting a multi-racial coalition to pressure Congress to reallocate money from Vietnam war to money for human needs. King called it Poor People’s Campaign so promoted an economic bill of rights for all Americans including five pillars of meaningful jobs at a living wage; a secure and adequate income; access to land; access to capital, for poor people, minorities; ability for ordinary people to play truly significant role in government. It was, King said, a “last ditch” effort to save America from the interrelated evils of racism, poverty and war. Historians constantly search for and reshape knowledge of the past, based on challenges faced in their own times. Public awareness focus on King’s “first phase” of the movement, for civil voting, rights, a plethora of scholarship sees King as inconvenient hero who led a movement beyond civil rights to more fundamental economic or social change.JIMEverything decent and fair in American life is under threat, King said in his time so all must do well to remember a fight for economic justice as King’s dream for better encompassing American society. Remembering King’s economic justice, broadly conceived helps understand the relevance of his legacy today. It helps us to realize King’s moral discourse of the gap between “haves and the have-nots” from his role in labour movement and civil rights movements. Remembering eloquent man in the Lincoln Memorial in 1963, remembers King as man on the streets, sitting in jail cells, or as a man rousing workers at union conventions and on union picket lines. Remembered as nonviolent surrounded by a violent police, screaming mobs, and physically assaulted by white racists sometimes. It is essential all nations remember King’s crusade seeking justice and fairness for all alternatives to America’s exploitative racial capitalism. King is remembered as a pioneer helping to understand the agenda for modern times. Exploitative capitalism will come to an end as Bible warns in the book of Revelations.

  • Adapted from To the Promised Land: Martin Luther King and the Fight for Economic Justice by Michael K Honey. Copyright © 2018 by Michael K Honey. With permission of the publisher, WW Norton, Inc. All rights reserved
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A LIFE FULL OF GODLY JOY

Zephaniah 3:17 says that God Almighty in heaven rejoices over us with singing! Can you imagine God’s great Majestic sonic booming maestro sound echoing throughout the firmament and universe because God is so joyful about you. Yes you, it seems oxymoron to even suggest God is happy with you let alone is joyful over you. Perhaps you spent your whole life miserable, angry over God as unfair killjoy ready to lash out and to point out only your faults to punish you. Such misrepresentations of God’s TRUE reflection of eternal joy in heaven with saints and angels rejoicing over all saved in Jesus Name in the LORD GOD saps joy out of life. Yet in the midst of sorrow Jesus comforted His apostles and disciples to have joy in spite of adversity, knowing grief or pain is momentary so they will be reunited forever in heaven permanently. Godly joy is not absence of the circumstances we would prefer not to endure or have to put up with in life. Rather our source of joy comes from Christ in us our hope of glory therefore external or internal issues trying to derail our joy is negated by the blood of Jesus. Even within those dark gloomy days of deepest grief, pain, loss or sorrow Christ encourages us to look up to Him to rejoice forevermore. As a matter of Godly joy eases sorrow so takes out the sting intended to wear you out to lose confidence and faith in God. It is the Joy of the LORD GOD Almighty that replenishes and sustains us to keep on keeping on despite hardships of life. Absolute perfect joy of God flows into us from God cancels the bitter, toxic, vitriol intended to depress or separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. The cares of the world can sometimes overwhelm to distract us to forget the goodness of the strength the joy of the LORD brings us. Preoccupation of sadness, bitterness, anger, grief, sorrow, melancholic living distracts us from refreshing joy in the presence of the LORD. Often the darkest times is when disconnected from God so most vulnerable to things of the world that try to come against us. Pure Joy is found in Christ residing in our hearts to help us to overcome in life. In fact God’s crown of rejoicing reward is given to all who manage to remain joyful even if all odds are against them. Another verse in Bible says, God is disappointed because HIS Children do not reflect HIS TRUE joyful qualities so world has a distorted view of who God really. The believer’s responsibility of joy is not an option but a duty of care to reflect joy of the LORD to the world and to the fellow believers in Christ by good example as Jesus did during His passion of sorrow to save us.

SCHOOL OPENS OWN BANK

Pupils save over £100 in new school bank!

 

Ws4g3Students at Walthamstow School for Girls have thrown open the doors of their very own bank.

11-14 year olds have been trained by MyBnk to get fellow pupils into good financial habits by offering accounts and loans of up to £40. Using real money, their MyBnk-in-a-Box scheme opens once a week at lunchtime and is also accessible online.

“I opened an account today with £2 and I think it’s important to save so you don’t have to worry about your parents spending all of their money on you! I would like to buy things for myself and be independent”. Amy 12, young saver.

Ws4g2Also opening accounts on launch day were the Mayor of Waltham Forest, Saima Mahmud and our patron, broadcaster and campaigner, June Sarpong. Scores of young people deposited over £100 in a single lunch break.

The young bankers now will also run incentivised saving and enterprise start-up drives for their fellow pupils. This is backed up with financial education workshops covering everything from tax and pensions to student finance, supported by Prudential.

“At WSFG we believe that our girls should understand how banks work and understand how to manage their personal finances. We try to build in transferable and lifelong skills that they will use in their everyday lives, as well as ensuring that they achieve the very best academic achievements they can”. Marianna Philippou, Maths teacher, Walthamstow School for Girls.

 

Ws4gSoon, Walthamstow will be joined by another London school bank, run by young people for young people. Savers bank on average £3.64 a week, 59% of their pocket money, an adult would bank £295 a week on an a £26,000 salary!

“The sooner young people are familiar with banking, the better they can develop sound financial habits like saving and navigate the system. We’re going all out for a generation that will have to make smarter financial decisions and create their own opportunities”. MyBnk CEO & Founder Lily Lapenna.

If you are interested in running the MyBnk-in-a-Box financial education programme in your school, get in touch via info@mybnk.org or 0207 377 8770!

financial education

REBUILDING RELATIONSHIPS

Family gatherings stressful?

Sadly, according to a new study, many families the first argument starts just after 10.13 on Christmas morning – with four or five more before the day is over! This can happen in families who don’t see each other very often and are then all together at Christmas. Christmas is a big focus, but other times like Easter or weddings, funerals and other family get-togethers can bring about pressure points erupt into family arguments. And the little things that trigger rows can be simple perhaps even the preparation of lunch, when a cook is trying to prepare a delicious meal and resents doing all the work or the other family members interfering too much. Couples often get into arguments because one or both has had too much to drink. Its particularly difficult where there are stepchildren. A couple may have different ideas about how to bring them up, and big decisions of how much to spend on the Christmas presents can cause disagreements.Six ways to stay close when your children leave home

Blended Family Matters

Blended families with step children can be part of the challenges faced during a Christmas festivity. If you have children from a previous relationship and your partner does not, you might disagree over the children’s behaviour. Or, if your partner does have children who are with the other parent for a big occasion like Christmas or a holiday, the presence of your children can cause resentment. The disciplinary lifestyles can be different and each parent may be softer in dealing with own child. It is good to be self conscious and aware of a child’s needs to treat them equally well.

Repairing family relationships

In the cold light of January try to make up with the family members you have fallen out with, even if you think it’s not your fault or that they might not react well. Pluck up courage and talk to them, face to face if possible, or by telephone or letter. Here are a few tips.My secret to feeling great at 56? Just do it!

  • Don’t restart the argument, wait until the person you need to talk to is in a good mood and then tell them that it is so nice when you do get on together that you would like it to be like that more of the time.
  • Tell them how much you regret the argument, that you are sorry if you upset them and that you love or care about them. It takes courage to say you are sorry.
  • Tread sensitively, no angry voices or unkind words, and make the person feel listened to and hopefully they might respond in a similar manner.
  • Ask what they need from you and say what you need from them.
  • If they don’t feel the same way, avoid another row and say, ‘I just wanted you to know that I am sorry we argued.’
  • Don’t be afraid to go to counselling if things seem really bad, it could make you happier in the long run.
  • Finally, make it your January resolution to think about how you would like life to be different, whether that includes drinking or spending a little less, or to have better relationships with the ones you love.”
  • DIY hair care tips for when you’re starting to go grey
  • Share the work

    babyhk20/11/2016

    Some people like cooking but if all avalanche on you over Xmas I have had to be honest so.I keep Xmas day for my husband and children as I explain i can only cook and cope with so many .Boxing Day is a running buffet which I top up with mainly cold food or things I can cook in 20 mins that just need throwing in the oven. I get decorations together and others sort out the tree . If anyone wants special food or find them something missing ot can shop for it.

    Be Close to kids who left home

    Yes it’s the end of an era, but your children moving out can sometimes bring you closer than ever. Keep in touch with each other daily. It easy if you know how. Meet up regularly if possible and Skype, telephone, visit.

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EARLY ADOLESCENT KIDS

kids-circleAdolescence starts earlier in modern generations than previous ones lasting twice as long as it did in the 1950s. So children are hitting puberty earlier than ever before said Psychology professor Laurence Steinberg who explained why to BrainwavesAdolescence is a period of life between starting puberty and becoming stable, independent adults. This time is being extended because some children begin puberty earlier.Kids-Diverse-1

Adolescence is three times as long as it was in the 19th Century and it’s twice as long as in the 1950s.
Professor Laurence Steinberg

According to Professor Steinberg, in the western world adolescence runs from age 10 or to about age 25. Professor Steinberg attributed this phenomenon of lengthening of adolescence to several surprising factors as follows:youth-world-header-large

Obesity & Man-made Chemicals

The first and most important is obesity. The kids who are fatter go through puberty earlier than the leaner kids he said. Man-Made Chemicals. There are other factors as well. One has to do with the exposure of children to endocrine-disrupting chemicals in the man-made environment. The chemicals are not just in food, they’re in cosmetics, they’re in plastics, they’re in pesticides they’re ubiquitous.” “When people are exposed to these endocrine disrupters it alters their hormonal development and many chemicals lead to earlier onset puberty mostly in girls.”hot

More SunLight exposure

The third factor that’s been discovered fairly recently has to do with exposure to sunlight.” It turns out that kids who grow up near the equator go through puberty earlier than kids who grow up near the north or south pole and that’s because, when you grow up near the equator, you have more exposure to sunlight over the course of childhood years.” While it may not be of too much concern to parents in northern Europe, recent research suggests a final factor which applies to many children here.

“Scientists discovered recently the light emanating from tablets or smartphones or computer screens can affect onset of puberty by disrupting brain’s melatonin system. Kids who spend more and more time in front of these screens especially in front of the blue light emitted by the devices probably contributed to earlier puberty as well. Light from the phones impacts brains of kids and adults.“World-Population-889x591.jpg

Adolescent Brainwaves

Brainwaves of the adolescent brain as Pennie Latin examines is relatively a young field of teenage neurology. It has revealed lack of frontal cortex ability to understand risk and consequences. And so although adolescent children may hit puberty earlier, they may not be able to handle the harsh realities of the trauma of war years, distress, rations, famine, lack of tough physical life forced upon previous generations. They worked in factories, chimney sweepers, railway as tracks as children making them more mature. They develop faster on growth spurt but face challenges of the modern generation.

EXPRESS MARRIAGE TRENDS

Sophy on her wedding day in traditional attireWith Valentine day approaching people are looking for love and romance for a form relationships. So couples celebrate established meaningful, love fulfilling a family bond. Others also ready to settle down prepare and advertise for love in new ways using social media, Facebook post and was married six days later. The marriage took place quite quickly than the normal traditional longer process of a family searching and taking years for the marriage to be finalised. CHIDIMMA AMEDU, did exactly that advertising for love and marriage on Facebook. He found a beautiful wife who said, ‘he is the most handsome man I’ve ever met and I liked him instantly.” Those who use Facebook come across pretty strange posts in their time. But this time however the random friends requests, being added to groups you did not ask to join, and tags allows “friends” to marry. Others clog up timeline with posts or photos you don’t necessarily want. But a Nigerian man took it to a whole new level posted unusual advert. Chidimma Amedu put up a post on 30 December, asking women interested in being his wife to reply, he told the BBC.Chidimma Amedu on his wedding day

The proposal

“Am of age to and I am ready to say I do and am wasting no time. “Send in your applications – the most qualified will be married on January 6, 2018. Application closes 12 midnight 31/12/2017 he posted. He followed up with subsequent posts. ‘Am serious about this oh and don’t say you did not see it on time Good luck.’ He received a couple of responses, but one from Sophy Ijeoma is someone special who caught his attention. She wrote in her reply “Am interested, just DM me… lols,” her post read. At first, she thought it was a joke and she simply replied to keep thread flowing. A direct message from him to her inbox, followed by a Facebook call, would change her life’s trajectory. Chidimma placed the advert initially as a joke but became optimistic when Sophy said she was interested. So two days after their first conversation, he travelled some 500km (300 miles) from his home in the northern city of Abuja, to Enugu in the east where she lived. She had been waiting for him outside a retail store and in true fairy-tale style, “it was love at first sight”, she recalled. “He is the most handsome man I’ve ever met and I liked him instantly.”The couple on their wedding day in Igbo attire

After 2 hours of awkward conversation, he asked her to go to meet an uncle who incidentally is also resident in Enugu. So he asked what was going through her mind at the time, she said she thought it was all a bit of a joke but was excited about it and thought Chidimma was also quite an interesting character. “We got to the uncle’s house and he said: ‘Uncle, meet the woman I want to marry.'” Like Chidimma his family don’t seem to hang about when it comes to getting things done because uncle gave his approval. The couple are friends on Facebook for over a year but never spoken to each other before the advert. Getting family backing for your choice of spouse is an essential part of Igbo culture. Whereas picking your future wife from dozens of respondents to a Facebook marriage advert and marrying her in six days is decidedly not. At this point in their day-old relationship, it was beginning to dawn on Sophy that this fellow was not playing, but how do you commit to marrying someone you only just me. She would not comment on whether they had even shared as much as a kiss at that point, but maintained she was captivated by how focused, determined her new fiancé was. “When I saw him for the first time, I definitely found him attractive, but what I didn’t know was how serious he was about marrying me. “It was after we met the uncle and his wife, I realised that this could actually happen and I wanted it.”A family member felicitate with the couple

The engagement

It was now her turn to worry about how she was going to get the approval of her family to marry a guy she had just met on Facebook. But they had momentum going for them. Having met and fallen in love at first sight, or first message, if you like, and getting Chidimma’s uncle’s approval, couple decided to complete the cycle by visiting Sophy’s family the same day. Approval from the family is essential in Igbo tradition and Sophy recounted how she relayed information to her mother. Her dad passed away, and her mum said she did not have a final word in terms of giving approval for her to be married, so up to Sophy’s elder brother to give his blessings. It appears the odds firmly in their favour as Sophy’s brother gave his blessings too. So after a few questions from her brother it became official. Chidimma and Sophy were engaged to be married in six days.The happy couple cutting their cake

On the rebound?

Last year Chidimma was engaged to another woman and the wedding was scheduled for December, but then that relationship fell apart in March leaving him dejected. As December approached, the disappointment of not being able to fulfil his dream of getting married made him put up the post, he said. In wedding it was a blend of old and new “I had the desire to get married, had date in mind, but no bride, decided to place an advert as a joke, but I was open and up for it.”  Asked whether she knew about earlier engagement and her thoughts on how this seemingly rushed marriage might be seen as a rebound, Sophy dismissed any suggestions that her relationship was not well thought through. “I don’t care about that when you see what you want, you go for it.” They are friends on Facebook for more than a year, but had never met or spoken to each other until the advert. Am interested just DM me… lols” was all it took for the union to be formed. Sophy admitted her friends were sceptical about the whole thing, while some are still in disbelief, but as she said: “When you see the one, you will know he is the one.” And they got married on 6 January in a traditional Igbo ceremony, and posted photos of wedding day on Facebook of course to the amusement of the social media community. Chidimma put up a post saying people may have thought he had been joking but clearly wasn’t. And as expected there was mixed reactions, but mainly a lot of support for the couple. They hope to have a church wedding in April and honeymoon somewhere nice.

GUILTFREE WAYS TO SAY NO

Saying No for the Sake of Your Wallet

Request: A friend in need asks for loan.
What you should say: “I wish I can but as a rule, I don’t lend money to friends.”
Why it works: So its clear you did not single out this person as untrustworthy.

You shouldn’t feel guilty: Lending any amount of money can cause problems, says the communications trainer Don Gabor. It changes nature of relationship if the person doesn’t pay you back.”
Avoid the situation in the future: Never lend money to friends, you won’t get reputation as a Mobile Bank ATM. 9f8eab4c34bbdd4065c5809378443d16

Request: A coworker wants you to chip in $25 for gift for colleague you would not recognize at the watercooler.

You should say: “Oh, I’ve never really had a conversation with Ian. I think I’ll wish him a happy birthday in person.”
Why it works: Chances are, the person taking donations has no idea how close you are (or are not) with the intended recipient. By clarifying nature of your relationship emphasises intention to get to know the person better. So you come across as thoughtful rather than cheap.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: A gift is not a gift if an obligation, says etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh.
Avoid the situation in the future: If workplace gift giving is getting out of hand, take the lead in restoring sanity by circulating a card before someone can break out the gift-donation plate. Make sure others know you don’t expect anything on your birthday.How-to-say-no-to-your-boss-politelyRequest: Your third cousin asks to bring her boyfriend-of-the-month to your $150-a-plate wedding reception.

What you should say: “We’ve already had to make so many tough decisions to get the guest list down to size. We really can’t squeeze in/afford another guest. But I would love to have you two over for drinks sometime so I can meet him.”
Why it works: If you illuminate some of behind-the-scenes planning, cousin may get clue of inappropriateness of request.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: It’s your party and your pocketbook, says author Patti Breitman.
Avoid the situation in the future: Make calls before you put together the guest list to see the new additions you should consider as you plan.sayno

Saying No for the Sake of Your Time

Request: You are offered a promotion that you don’t want. Though it means more money, it demands more hours or more of what boss calls responsibility and you call tedium.
What you should say: “I’m flattered that you want me, but for personal reasons I’m not in a situation where I can take this on. Perhaps in a year from now things will be different. Can we talk again if my circumstances change?”
Why it works: If in enviable dilemma boss will understand you have personal priorities that take precedence.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: By saying no to more time at the office, you’re saying yes to other things you cherish, long walks alone at sunset or evening time with your children.
Avoid the situation in the future: “If a position opens up at your workplace, you could let it be known that you are not in the running,” Breitman suggests. Being forthright saves your manager the trouble of pursuing a candidate who isn’t interested.maxresdefault (4)

Request: You are asked to coordinate bake sale again at your child’s school.
What you should say: “I know I am going to disappoint you, but I’ve decided not to volunteer this year, because I will feel stressed. Is there any way to get some of the other parents to step up?”
Why it works: People feel manipulated into doing something like The ice cream social won’t happen without your help! If address the problematic pattern of one person’s doing all the work, you sidestep manipulation. If you say no, it force others never get asked to say yes.
You shouldn’t feel guilty: “You’ve done your fair share, and now others can do this job,” says Robinson.
Avoid the situation in the future: Encourage school leaders to present the problem to all parents,” says Robinson. “If people know an important program may fail, usually remedy situation.maxresdefault (3)Request: If invited to distant relative’s annual Lobster Lua, 14th year in row.

You should say: “I’ve really had fun in the past, but I can’t make it this year. That week is already packed for me.”
Why it works: “You’ve explained it in a way that doesn’t sound like a personal rejection,” says Robinson. “And you’ve asked for understanding, based on your need to take stress out of your schedule. Everyone can identify with that.”
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: You have only so much free time―and so much tolerance for flying lobster goo. “Don’t R.S.V.P. yes, then back out at the last minute or, worse, not show up at all,” say Izzo and Marsh. “That is the least decorous way of handling invite.”
Avoid the situation in the future: In a note, thank the relative for thinking of you and explain that because you tend to be busy at this time of year, he should feel free to take you off his invite list.maxresdefault (2)

Request: Boss asks you to supervise this season’s intern last seen with feet up on a desk, iPod on, Gameboy in hand.
What you should say: “Wow, that’s an interesting project. I’m really busy with the ABC assignment right now, so let me know if you want me to re-prioritize.”
Why it works: “Asking boss to prioritize tasks for you means so do not have to actually say “no,” Breitman says. If told to just squeeze the new task in, then do it. But keep a list of all the extra work you’ve done for your next review.
You shouldn’t feel guilty: You really do have enough work to do as it is.
Avoid the situation in the future: If extra tasks keep getting dumped on your desk, ask your boss for a meeting. Explain that the added assignments are making it hard to do your primary job properly. Ask if she wants to review your job description and renegotiate your salary while she’s at it.  AAEAAQAAAAAAAANxAAAAJDczZjg2NDEyLTE1Y2QtNDllNi1hNjIwLWY2MzgyYzc0YTA2Mg

Say No for the Sake of Your Sanity

Request: A friend asks to borrow car because own in shop to repair dent got while driving, talking on phone, and unwrapping juice-box straw.
What you should say: “I do not lend anything worth more than $1,000.” Try to avoid “I don’t have insurance for a non-family member, insurance policies cover the car, not specific drivers. If friend got into accident, it could make your premium go up. If you have time, offer her a ride instead.
Why it works: “Avoid blame on you,” explains author Patti Breitman. “Don’t indicate you don’t trust the friend.”
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: “Your car is probably the first or second most valuable thing you own,” says Breitman. “You’re protecting a big financial asset.” Plus, if friend gets accident relationship might be totalled, too.
Avoid the situation in the future: Let your friends know that while you’re typically a generous lender (“Of course you can borrow my snorkeling gear!”), your car is off-limits. Say-NO-pic

Request: A guest offers to bring seven-layer dip to party. But doesn’t really go with Greek theme you planned.
What you should say: “What a kind offer thank you. I have already planned the menu, but do you have any dietary restrictions I should know about? Be nice and ask to bringing something, like bottle of wine or a loaf of bread.
Why it works: Acknowledging the offer of generosity let person know did all they could. If the person has dietary restrictions so cooking difficult for you, relent and let bring a dish to eat.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: Person offered to be courteous. Saying no, you gives license to relax, enjoy hospitality.
Avoid the situation in the future: When you invite people, ask if there is anything they don’t eat, because you want to make sure your menu works for everyone. Emphasize the word menu, so people know that you have a plan or a theme for the meal (and so they won’t try to upset it).thumbs-down

Request: Future sister-in-law wants to throw baby shower you don’t want fuss.
What you should say: “I really don’t want a party, but thank you so much for offering. Why don’t we splurge on visit to a day spa instead?”
Why it works: “Not everyone likes a party in honour or wants to be center of attention with a paper plate of bows on her head,” says etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh. Unless she has her own agenda, she should understand.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: “If you decline, you are taking away pleasure from the people who care about you, but it is occasion to shout about or be quiet about,” say Izzo and Marsh.
Avoid the situation in the future: Announce what you would prefer to do instead of a shower before anyone offers to throw one.