THE PROCESS OF DIVORCE

The majority of the arguments centre around the division of assetsDivorce is an unpleasant process more awful when separating couples cannot reach agreement, engage in litigation. Suddenly the love of your life becomes opponent and contributions to marriage is pored over by lawyers and potentially judges. Divorce can become gendered family lawyers will be acutely aware of the unfortunate tendency to refer to the ‘breadwinning husband’ homemaking wife’ This does not reflect the reality of many modern marriages but often it is the wife who undertakes most childcare and domestic duties, while the husband has created most of the wealth for the family. Most people think of the actual divorce as the most stressful element but is resolved fairly swiftly. For most married couples this reflects the basic principle of their union: you are a team, you share responsibilities and funds, and make joint decisions. So what happens if not on the same side? It was a question posed by most cases.workdivorcecomp-medium_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8

Millionaire businessman Mr Work was ordered to pay his wife half his £140m fortune in 2015, but fought the court’s decision, saying his wife ‘stayed home’ during 2 decades long marriage, during which she raised their two children. He argued he made all the family’s money and claimed to posses quality of genius enabled him to do this without support of his wife. Court of Appeal disagreed so dismissed Mr Work’s appeal. He must pay half of his fortune to ex wife, after judge accepts she is a ‘good homemaker and good mother,’ adding it was down to her willingness to move to Japan the husband was able to amass his wealth.78630843.jpg

The important decision for stay-at-home mothers raises questions of how judges should consider the spouses’ respective contributions in ‘big money’ divorce cases. Most people think actual divorce most stressful element but is usually resolved fairly swiftly. Majority of the arguments centre around division of assets or some technicalities or division of everything couple collectively own and earned during marriage. England and Wales is known to be one of the most generous jurisdictions there is. London is the divorce capital of world for fairness is central to process and in cases each party’s financial needs are met by the assets available, the starting point for division is 50:50. The Court has wide discretion when making financial orders and considers a range of factors. One factor is the contribution that both the husband and wife made. Thanks to new verdict, it is now settled law there should be no discrimination between breadwinner and homemaker. Staying at home, cooking, cleaning, reading to children is as important as working 12 hours a day on trading floor earning £1m a year. Mothers feel they make special contribution of ‘exceptional quality’ every day. Over the years various arguments used by mostly wealthy husbands to convince courts is award to their spouse to be less than 50 per cent. The favourite known as special contribution involves arguing financial input to marriage was significant award should be increased in their favour. To be successful need to amass significant wealth and show they used ‘exceptional quality’ or ‘genius’ to achieve this.divorce-370559.jpg

What about homemakers? How does this not discriminate against the wife, at home with the children every day? The wife quietly supporting her husband in his endeavours? What about spouse who sacrificed own successful career? Or those who are juggling both a career and childcare? Many mothers no doubt feel they make a special contribution of ‘exceptional quality’ daily. The Court of Appeal has confirmed this principle still stands though many hope it will in due course either limited or abolished by the Supreme Court. Litigation is bad enough without having to rummage into the detail of who did what and when to justify their contribution. In addition to cases where wife receives a substantial lump sum settlement such as Mandy Gray will get. In England and Wales one of the attractive forums in the world is for the financially weaker spouse paid maintenance for life. This concept is alien to nearby jurisdictions. Just across the border in Scotland, the maximum maintenance term is three years. However, this ‘meal ticket for life’ is becoming rarer. The Court looks at each spouse’s income and earning capacity. Consideration is given to whether or not having a qualification worked recently or assumes childcare responsibilities. The test is whether, in light of all these circumstances payee adjust to their financial independence without undue hardship. Judges want to see hard evidence of efforts of receiving party to maximise earning capacity.Family.jpg
Some wives may think its unfair if was agreed during the marriage that they would be supported financially and made sacrifices to this effect. Others may welcome opportunity to re-enter the working world; potentially a new lease of life after divorce. Although returning to work, for women, is unduly tough – despite the glut of ‘returnships’ now on offer from big companies. What is clear is society moves on so does the family law. Undoubtedly the problem is focus continues to be trying to achieve fairness for both husbands and wives. One imagines Ms Gray would agree that this has been achieved.

5 things about divorce Ayesha Vardag

1. It takes longer and be more harrowing than you think.

If everything can be agreed then it is possible for a case to be resolved in a few weeks but more likely exchanging disclosure, attending court hammering out a settlement will take around a year, and often more, and it can really wear you down. It is a marathon endeavour so important to keep your spirits up.

2. Ending marriage and finance issues are completely separate.

The reasons for the marriage ending will almost never affect the financial outcome and the court will not punish a spouse for marital indiscretions.

3. Courts less glamorous than you imagine.

Most English courts mahogany-panelled Victorian masterpieces, but most poorly maintained post-war monstrosities with hot, airless waiting rooms and windows that do not open, where you wait for hours on end, the tension is unbearable. Arbitration or a private family dispute resolution offers chance to move case to salubrious surroundings to settle it.

4. Nothing is “off the record”.

You are required to be fully frank about finances so lawyers are not allowed to help hide assets or lie to partner. To courts, honesty really is the best policy.

5. Can be cathartic experience.

Many people assume that divorce is an upsetting business. While it is never easy to bring a marriage to an end, for many the chance to move forward and build a new chapter of their life can be a rejuvenating experience. Usually the clients get happier, stronger and visibly empowered as process goes forward. Above all during the divorce ongoing conflict between parents can affect the children’s mental health, development of social and emotional skills, academic attainment and can impact their ability to form future relationships. It can also damage physical health, lasting through their adult lives into next generation as it starts early. Agreeing to disagree for the sake of the children is very helpful.

 

Alexandra Hirst is a solicitor specialising in family law at Boodle Hatfield

THE MIRACLE GIFT OF ADAM

Emilie Larter and Adam

Emilie’s journey started in September 2014 when the charity volunteering for in Uganda received a call about the new born boy in need. Baby arrived after the burial of a woman who died because of excessive bleeding after birth. So Adam was her child including 6 others yet had not received any breast milk or formula and no one able to care for him. Sadly, his biological mother left this world before even giving him a name,” said Emilie. All took to Adam with random acts of kindness in and she became the little one’s sole carer. And the sleepless nights were down to her, but they were no bother. She felt privileged to help the little helpless baby but felt she did not do much. Yet never a day went by to be bored to sit and watch him for hours.Emilie Larter and Adam

Over the next two years, Emily visited Adam as often as she could by working in a teaching job in the UK. But the short visits were not enough and she moved back to Uganda in August 2016 after finding work at an international school. Now Adam, who is two-and-a-half, lives with her full time while she tries to adopt him. Emilie said:  She feels like his mum already. We had such a strong bond every time I was coming out but especially now since he’s been living with me. Emilie has to foster Adam until August before applying to the Ugandan courts to legally be his parent. So needs permission from UK to bring Adam back to Britain as he call her mum. She is hopeful they will live together in UK by the end of the year. Emilie plans to fund adoption until she lost her job in December. So prompted her to set up a Go Fund Me crowdfunding page to pay for the process. Emilie’s parents help to support her living costs as she takes her teaching positions to cover Adam’s fees. AdamEmilie admits becoming a mum at age 25 though not on her agenda, she does not regret the path she has taken. It was not in my plan but the last two-and-a-half years in Uganda and Adam is all she thinks about. So either talking about or thinking about him imagines perhaps may not have kids for another 10 years but does not regret her decision and choice to be the mum to Adam. So will be amazing to bring Adam home as her own finally.” While Emilie received overwhelming support for her decision, some online comments question why she wants to remove Adam from his home country. She is coming back to Uganda for him so wants to continue to do that,” she said. Emilie does her best to keep Adam in touch with the village he comes to see siblings or neighbours. Emilie does her best as his mum though mother’s love is the best most important things. And Adam will never get natural biological love from his mother because unfortunately she sadly passed and he was orphaned. Adam’s story is how God turns what devil means for evil to turn to good blessings. So what is impossible with man is POSSIBLE with LORD God Almighty.  God bless all the kindhearted generous donors in Jesus Name. In a similar true story a little 2year old white who girl chose black doll was asked if she did not want white doll like her. She answered both are doctors and equally beautiful playing with black doll.

EYES, EARS, NOSE & MOUTH

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Ephesians 4:16 says God makes the whole body of Christ fit together perfectly as eyes, nose, mouth, ears, hands, feet fit the body. Each part does special work to help other parts function better as part of the whole body. The Body of Christ is compared to various physical body parts working in unison to perform assigned roles. This enables the body to be coordinated to support each other. So God created two eyes trained to see twice by faith to see through eyes of faith all God’s plans and desires with two ears to hear twice more to discern than speak. In the same way the delicate body parts are compared to workings of Holy Spirit in 1 Corinthians 12 : 1-26. The Bible talks about the gifts of the Holy Spirit so that brothers and sisters will not be uninformed. It is important to know the role each one has to play either as a seer’s eyes see visions, ears hear voice of God, nose smells sweet aroma fragrance of Christ, mouth speaks the true prophetic words of God that does not return void but accomplishes victory, hands that bless or feet that springs into action on behalf of all. Taking time to be aware of one’s strengths, and gifts enables best use of one’s talents and abilities. This makes correct use of talents appropriately ensuring competence and efficiency. And therefore roles are specifically put in place to follow management of God’s Business. five_senses_collageThis allow eyes, nose, mouth correct roles by wisdom, humility and discernment as certain roles at times may seem as better than others from an outward perspective. The person willing to Obey God’s plans recognises that the work is unto the LORD God’s Glory not praise of people. So some roles may seem not quite what a person feels is within their calling. Yet each little helps as little drops of water make mighty ocean. No matter how small the role each is contributing to a bigger picture of God’s Kingdom. To accept an assigned role is to please God to do HIS WILL in Christ. Since the foundation of earth God’s chosen ones yield to God through the Holy Spirit. When eyes insist on doing work of ears, hands or feet do mouth’s work instead this creates chaos and confusion. This is due to the fact that their original intended role is wasted so neglected to take on another role not as supposed to be performed. The new role is not done well because God never intended that work for them in the first place. This is likened to the original plan of God to be devoted to the LORD God Almighty alone but instead eyes stray in other directions by distractions.  You know pagans are influenced and led astray to follow mute idols.3 The result is body part misplaced in the wrong place out of tune with God. So God wants you to know those who speak by the Spirit of God say Jesus is Lord by the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus+christ+how+horrifying+freya+jobbins+portrait+made+out+of_797e82_5021177.jpgThere are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them 5 for different kinds of service function is from the same Lord God. There are different kinds of workings in everyone yet the same God at work. 7 To each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another the distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues and to another the interpretation of tongues.  11 All these are the works of one and the same Spirit, Holy Spirit and He distributes to each one, just as God determines. Any displacement of one part to another function is caused by the spirit of discord, divisions, lack of unity, confusion not Godly understanding.resist-the-devil-he-will-flee-james-4-7.jpg

Unity and Diversity in the Body

12 Just as the body although one has many parts and the many parts form one body so it is with Christ. 13 We are all baptized by one Spirit to form one body whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free are all given one Spirit to drink one communion of the Blood of Yeshua Messiah, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without blemish to God cleans the conscience from dead works to serve the living LORD God in Hebrews 9:14. So Word of God promises those in Messiah are free and therefore no condemnation to those in Yeshua Messiah who do not walk in the flesh according to Romans 8:1. 14 The body is not made up of only the one part but of many. 15 Now if the foot should say, that “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were eyes, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear where would sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as HE wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part where would the other body parts be? 20 Though many parts yet one whole body.1933377-Very-ugly-face-and-comical-create-with-the-hand-with-an-eye-an-ear-the-nose-the-mouth-and-a-foot-Stock-Photo.jpg

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem weaker are all indispensable 23 and the parts we think less honourable we must treat with a special honour. The parts unpresentable are to be treated modestly. 24 The  presentable parts perhaps need no special treatment. But God has put body together, giving greater honour to various parts so 25 there should be no divisions in the body but the parts should have equal concerns for each other.  26 If one part suffers every part suffers with them if another part is honoured every part rejoices with them. It is important the body of Christ understand various roles assigned by God are all valid so necessary to build the House of God. So each person plays active roles efficiently to ensure others synchronise together as one team on God’s Side always in Christ.  romans-12-4-5.jpgrom-12-4-for-just-as-in-one-body-we-have-many-members-and-all-the-members-of-the-body-do-not-have-the-same-functiondownload (1).jpgc10d4d7da7e40603a2bec2f066aefc43.jpgSpiritually speaking, if the parts see eye to eye there is love and unity, peace and joy. Not chaos and confusion similar to a body dysmorphy and dystrophy, so an outsider sees a well-formed whole person yet inside a person does not think so until corrective surgery solves the problem. In Christianity God tells believers to liken church of God to the individual body parts located in the right places for God’s purpose. Each part is equaly useful and helpful so none cannot take the overall total credit exclusively for their contribution. So the body of Christ is made up various parts that look different but are purposefully designed to suit each role. So therefore, time cannot be wasted in trying to redesign the eyes, ears, nose and mouth, hands and feet to suit fanciful purpose. God in HIS Wisdom created body parts assigned so each can work all things together for the greater good of mankind.BodyofChrist.jpgThis Biblical principles work in any place requiring discipline and productivity and not therefore an exclusive private idea to the church. Any organisation seeking the optimum performance must ensure that the right skills are allocated so eyes sees, ears hear, nose can scent, mouth talks, the hands work and feet to move on behalf of the company. The correct skills use of the talents increase efficiency, productivity or profit margins. Ensuring each part of the corporate body is correctly placed and also envisaged short-term, mid-term, long-term visions for the future well-being of all.   download.jpgb697e9e4b43ba81e1f6c785525021a10.jpg

God Loves to hear from all His Children so the prayer of the upright pleases God says Proverbs 15:8. Know for sure God Loves you as He KNOWS you. God is Close to you not remote, impersonal, and uninvolved in your daily lives. The Bible reveals God created humans for a very personal relationship with HimPrayer is the key way to engage in relationship so talk to God persistently throughout the day by Word of God. In Eden Garden God talked Adam and Eve spending time together sharing thoughts and feelings as a good father makes time for his children in Genesis 3:8. Good times with father God helps to discover the kind of day children have had. If any problem shares wisdom and provides help or offer solutions. So good children are interested in spending time with parents gaining wisdom, so God’s children spend time with the Heavenly Father. God already knows our minds before we say, share, or ask anything. God Knows all things, Jesus Open door to spend time with us, listening to our prayer is born out of His love and desire to have a real and vibrant relationship with us.  He is ready to listen and to guide us, but we must first come to the Source of Life. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to prayer in 1 Peter 3:12.

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So body of Christ makes sure continues to meet together with other believers as the Body of Messiah required in Bible in  Hebrews 10:24–25. We walk free of sin by the Grace of God’s forgiveness ourselves so join those who follow Yeshua. And need to continue to stay accountable in the Body to one another and uplift one another to live a life of holiness. Since each of us has been given ministry of reconciliation, we should be agents of healing and restoration. The world mus learn from authentic real Christianity applied living sermons to attract more people added daily by Yahweh God by agape love building Church in Christ. This principles do work in the home as well and in the community. All people need to have consideration for a real assessment of gifts of the Spirit of God in all human beings. By taking time to carefully analyse the best roles each person gets fulfilment of playing their mind. This helps identify the best talent most suitable for each role by members of a community. The church is example of God to all nations so must work with people in unity and love. The Church of God in Christ is God’s Kingdom family.

RUNNING AN EXTRA MILE

Katie Cooke, Dr Colin DohertyAmong runners one moment a woman, collapsed on the ground and frothing at the mouth the next. For a short time she is lost to the convulsion and then she scrambles to her feet and sprints away. Katie Cooke will not let epilepsy get in the way of a race. The 19 year old student from Cherrywood South Dublin has what her specialist doctor calls “an arsenal of epilepsy, contends with 15 convulsions daily that makes her unconscious. Katie said, “her whole body shakes feeling her muscles jump, like everything has been sucked out of her so cannot breathe. So every single day she often loses control.  Despite having to cope with multiple seizures, Cooke won prestigious events including her age group in the Dublin City Marathon and she runs 5km in under 17 minutes. She is often seen pounding the streets with her running partner, Dr Colin Doherty, who is her consultant neurologist. But she was not always so athletic.Katie Cooke with a running trophy

Image copyrightKATIE COOKE

Diagnosed at the age of nine with frontal lobe epilepsy, she managed condition with medication until it deteriorated when puberty hit and her hormones started “kicking up.”She was not able to get out of bed, unable to do anything for herself and could not really speak. My Mum was dressing and showering me,” she says. Cooke was admitted to Our Lady’s Children’s Hospital in Crumlin where she remained for 10 months. Despite being involved in numerous medical trials she regressed, lost control of her back and hips, and by the time she was discharged she wasn’t able to walk. And she could not hold herself up in a wheelchair for about seven months but being stubborn person wanted to prove to people what she could do. After a lot of physio started jogging every day and started to absolutely love the freedom.

Katie Cooke in a wheelchair

Image copyrightKATIE COOKE

Cooke now runs every day and says a missed session sees the tiredness and dizziness of her earlier condition return.  Running only alleviates her symptoms, it has not been a cure. The raised heart rate brought on by running triggers more seizures than if she did not run, but Cooke says it improves her general well-being which is a negative worth accepting. Her neurologist, Dr Doherty, has weighed up the pros and cons from a medical perspective. “The particular challenges of having epilepsy and long-distance running are similar to walking challenges too and I think the general benefits outweigh these risks,” he says. “If you took the average long-distance runner and measured all their health parameters against someond who does not run you would find, no matter what disease or disorder they carry with them, they are better off.” So health conditions affected by starting exercise, it is always important to consult your doctor first.


Dr Colin Doherty explains epilepsy

Various scientific images of brains

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The brain consists of about three billion cells and all of these cells are active, but they do not fire together, the brain is a de-synchronised machine. A signature of epilepsy is the cells fire together in a synchronised way. If a million cells fire together it causes a change in behaviour, when all three billion cells fire together that causes convulsion or a fit. There are about 40 distinct types of epilepsy. In some cases people will just stare blankly, others will wander around in a confused state and there are those who fall to the ground with convulsions. Competitive running was initially a non-starter for Cooke. As soon as she had a convulsion during a race paramedics withdraw her from the event, but a chance comment at one of her consultations led Doherty to offer himself as her running partner and he has kept her on track ever since.  He says: “I’m a specialist in epilepsy but my sole role when running with Katie is to stop people from taking her off in an ambulance. I just stand there and say ‘Katie’s fine, I’m her doctor, she’s going to recover.” Despite Cooke’s seizures, the nature of her epilepsy means her body does not require lengthy recovery time, she is able to immediately get up and run again. Doherty believes it is her fitness levels which help with recovery._93538541_mediaitem93538539.jpg


Hear more from Katie and Colin

Listen to the BBC Ouch talk-show to find out more about Katie Cooke, Dr Colin Doherty and their running partnership. “Katie is a very serious runner, and she trains properly. I’m very confident that this is a really positive experience for her,” he says. As well as sport, college, Cooke also has to navigate a social life and relationship with partner Jack, a role most daunting at night when Cooke’s seizure’s make her scream, thrash around and cause the bed to shake and shudder. Cooke says: “He’s one of the most chilled people I know and he sleeps through my seizures which is a bit weird. He wakes up for the odd one because some are quite violent and was slapped in the face before, but he just falls asleep again.” In terms of intimacy Cooke says sex does not trigger seizures, although a fit can occur at such times, and women report an increase in convulsions around the time of ovulation and their period.Jack and Katie Cooke

Image copyrightKATIE COOKE

Her nightime seizures are accompanied by hallucinations of a shadowy man who she says “comes for her” and it is these which leave her most exhausted. She does not sleep well at all,” she says. Her education suffered and she missed the majority of secondary school. Despite that, she managed to cram three years worth of curriculum for the Irish Leaving Certificate into one year, secured a place at college to study sports management. Doherty calls her a “remarkable young woman” for all she has achieved while handling so many severe convulsions on a daily basis. When people watch Katie drop to the floor mid-run it is alarming but Doherty believes being public about it will help others with the condition. So there is need to facilitate people to live a normal life as possible and they need to be encouraged to do everything, he says. The biggest barrier is not the safety issue but the perceptions of other people.”

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GREATLY VALUED BY GOD

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God Greatly Values you more than you ever know so once you discover God’s Love for you have inner joy and peace. God blesses through changing situations in life so your focus and attention shifts to listen more to hear God due to unforseen circumstances. Transition creates helpful spiritual growth powerful testimony in Christ defeating devil. What devil means for evil God changes to good turning curses into Blessings for His Glory.  You are greatly beloved by God so as God’s beloved you are greatly Loved. Although God created mankind and breathed His breath in Adam making us living beings, few people know anything about Creator Yahweh Almighty God. The Spirit of the Living God dwells in us sustaining all life and providing for all. Declare you are God’s beloved daily to remind yourself of the Great Love God has for you. Many issues in life may challenge your confidence at times to prove if you truly believe you are God’s beloved. You can truly say you are God’s beloved to triumph in Victory according to 1 Corinthians 15:56-57. Jesus overcame sting of death and sin thanks to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. God’s beloved bless many more people to confirm and reinforce what Bible says that a person’s quality of life, value and worth to God does not consist of, or depend on owned material possessions. God’s beloved appreciate God’s real Love deeply through Jesus’ Blood so enter Our Father God’s Presence boldly.god-calls-us-beloved
Its not status, titles, postcodes, size of bank balance, clothing labels, type of plane, ship, cars owned, price tags of homes, designer bags, shoe designs, technology. The world is filled with idols wealth, fame, power, position, money, work, sexual relations, stars, celebrities, sports, even relationships.  These desires as priority tend to put our trust and confidence in things or people to help meet those desires. Pride in the strength of trophy wife, marriage or any thing chosen above God HURTS God like betrayed husband or wife by unfaithful spouse. Only God is absolutely worthy of Worship as HIS Desires for us are pure and holy. God of LOVE becomes intimately involved in the affairs of mankind to save, rescue, redeem, and deliver.  This is the God who is worthy of our love and devotion and no one else. So anything placed first in lives other than God is idolatry for God Says HE IS jealous God. Do not feel pain or sadness because you lack material things and so think you are nobody in life. Others treat you badly because you outwardly does not fit into exclusive class gaithered community. Attention given to material things by man as “great” is considered “chaff” or “dung” according to God in Bible because of how aquired. Precious memories gained knowing God in Christ is PRICELESS GREAT TREASURE the wise “sell all” to “buy it” in Jesus who bought us with His Precious Blood redeem us.
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Lterally get rid of all junk negative thoughts and things. The word of God reveals rightly things in itself does not add value to life though improves the quality of life for a season. Bless others if not needed get rid of the excess material possessions. As one’s trash is another’s treasure give to support all considered less fortunate. Godly Love gives, blesses, transforms renewed minds to free self from heavy burdens of vanity. Release yourself from the pressures and cares of these lost world into God’s Kingdom. Getting hold of the God’s Great Truth gives liberty in Christ as best priceless treasure bringing inner joy and peace. Things of this world will soon pass away but God’s Word will stand forever and eternally in Jesus Name. Rejoice in the LORD and study God’s Words as a faithful disciple of Christ. Jesus coming soon in rapture and after restore earth. The Kingdom of God is being established throughout living history and the world is watching demolition of evil to bring in restoration of God’s Perfect Peace, Reign by Son of God Yeshua Messiah KING of Kings and Lord of lords. So be ready and prepared to join in God ‘s Kingdom for eternity on earth. Israel will be saved by the LORD with an everlasting salvation; and all grafted in will never be put to shame or disgraced to ages everlasting in Jesus Name according to Isaiah 45:17.

GLOBAL VALENTINE’S DAY

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