HAVE CONFIDENCE IN GOD

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Confidence in God is inbuilt in the brain to receive information, process, to take an action, store, apply or discard based on relevance. So scientists successfully have mapped parts of brain enhancing positive thinking to enable reinforcing good thoughts. When we think about ourselves positively, we are stimulating parts of our brains involved in reward, motivation, pleasure, says Dr Stacie Grossman Bloom. According to Dr Stacie Grossman Bloom a neuroscientist who has three daughters who also has a successful career at the NYU Langone Medical Center in New York. She has examined the role neuroscience plays in boosting confidence. This is particularly useful to many people who need exactly that, she writes as part of this year’s 100 Women Challenge. As primary carers or nurtures the mother’s confidence rubs on a child in the formative years of growing up. A happy mother is a happy child and happy family so is important to ensure the confidence of the mother is especially enhanced and supported. It takes a whole village to raise a child so the woman’s confidence is essential for the happiness of the spouse and vice versa. Confidence radiates in a person so is felt by those around that person so necessary to promote positive thinking. The world is so full of negative news it may seem impossible to think or to feel positive at any given moment. However confidence in God is the anchor of hope and joy in spite of adversity.images

confidence-in-the-lord2Confidence in God is unshaken by those circumstances of life having assurance God is still on the throne. Confidence is something many people want but do not know how to get. We need to embrace our abilities, our values and have a self-esteem to be successful. Without it, we are less likely to seek promotion, speak up in meetings and rise into leadership positions. This ultimately has enormous impact as various studies after studies shows having confident people at work in position of power correlates with the profitability collaborative environment and improved problem solving. So with some practice, we can use neuroscience to help to be more confident. The most influential or the inspirational names around the world every year are full of confidence. In 2017, challenging people to tackle the 4 biggest problems facing people today like glass ceiling, female illiteracy, harassment in public spaces and sexism in sport. With the help of all hopefully can be coming up with many real-life solutions and so we want you to get involved with your ideas. 8aa3408d68e32286c91a4aeea3380fd6 CONFIDENCE-IN-GOD+copy

Thinking positively we know enhances self-confidence like all other personality traits reside within our brains. Alhough a large part of architecture of the brain is predetermined yet experiences and the choices we make continue to shape us. Over the course of life we acquire new knowledge, abilities by modulating the intricate and malleable connections between the cells and circuits in brains. We can utilise neuroscience to silence our negative inner voices and boost our confidence. These strategies work by engaging “value areas” of the brain. When we think about ourselves more positively, we are able to stimulate the parts of our brains that are involved in reward, motivation, and pleasure. One output of this pattern of neurological activation is we literally feel good when confident, we hold our heads high.Dr. Bloom with her three daughtersDr. Bloom with her three daughters

A healthy positive feeling is contagious so promotes those around us to be more engaged with us, whether its colleagues, our friends, or troops. The reinforcing reactions we see and feel in response to our confidence feedbacks to our brains to encourage more activity. So the first step is to push back against obstacles we know stand in our way being mindful of situations and deciding to be confident. Making complex decision is a multi-step process that taps into our emotions and engages many other parts of the brain.

Train your brain

brainWhen we have made the decision to be confident, we have to start training our brains. The Above brain scan details by DR. GYORGY BUZSAKI, NEUROSCIENCE INSTITUTE, shows the orange structure here as one of billions of neurons that is often stretching out to make connection (synapses) you see in yellow (more than 75,000). Those connections are what we are tweaking when we learn to choose confidence Just like mastering any other talent, gaining self-assurance requires repetition and time. Every time we do or learn something new, our brains adjust to store our new skill or bit of knowledge. This happens because parts of our brains are plastic and synapses that connect our brain cells, called the neurons, to each other can be modified, strengthened, and even newly created to store what we have acquired in this case confidence boost communication. From a scientific perspective people can blame both nature nurture for stacking the odds against them when it comes to valuing themselves. A biological reality is that women secrete different levels of hormones than men so react differently to the same world around us.brainThis brain scan shows “value areas” of the brain. DR PAUL GLIMCHER AND IFAT LEVY’s image caption reveal the areas of the brain in these images that are coloured to show they are activated “value areas” of the brain. Women tend to have a desire to please others, to seek acceptance, inclusion and avoid conflict. The way women respond to a stressful situations is different to men. While the men tend to take more risk when under pressure, the women look for the surer solutions and reach out to connect with others to manage stress. These genetic differences are compounded by the fact that we are socialized differently from the moment we are born and a pink hat is placed upon our heads.

Cartoon shows arrows coming out of woman's head

Boys and girls

As we grow up, young women are not necessarily taught to exhibit any self-confidence, and if we do, we are often criticized for being “snobby” or “stuck-up” or “bitchy” words seldom associated with men. We hear damaging terms like “women’s intuition” suggesting that we aren’t making strategic analyses, but basing our decisions on some ethereal gut feeling but study after study shows women and men equally data driven. And the relentless emphasis placed on how we look erodes our self-image and for most of us, gets worse over time. As a mother of 3 young girls, this resonates every time daughters receive another impossibly-proportioned doll designed for dress up, caregiving, or primping.

Some women in a perceived masculine job are treated with ridicule finding it hard to convince men they are as good and competent as required to do the job even with their identical qualifications trained by exact same Institute. These bias comes in underhand tactics, jokes derogatory of performance and hurtful comments that can affect confidence. It is sometimes deliberately done hoping it drives away unwanted females from an all male exclusive zone. These can be do traumatic for women that it is very necessary to educate men on how to act, behave or talk to women. Especially the women of diversity background raised in serious environments teach respect of the emotional feeling others. Healthy interactions are required in a civilised  society that prides itself on equal rights or equal opportunities. Women are still facing hitting a glass ceiling if they also desire promotion by climbing a broken ladder. It is well-documented we way we raise girls and women has a lasting impact on way they view themselves and their abilities. Negative messages will engender self-doubt and lead us to underestimate ourselves. The result is not only a nearly universal feeling of imposter syndrome but fear of making mistakes, suspicion of underperforming unattainable quest for perfection. This is what is shutting down when making a decision to be more confident.confidence-blog-Jan1-1

Practice, practice, practice

It doesn’t matter what level of self-assurance you start at, the more time and effort you dedicate to practicing being more confident, the faster your brain will change and the faster you’ll master it. So it is important to remove ourselves from situations and people who make you feel bad because confidence largely comes from being in supportive environment. Environment comprises people around us and what we choose to focus our attention on. It is beneficial to concentrate on things that are empowering and to steer clear of exposure to images and contents that make us feel bad about ourselves. The way we choose to hold and to conduct ourselves is another factor. The mental simulations help envisioning ourselves finishing a race, speaking in public to a standing ovation, mastering job, getting a degree can all help build ourselves up. Just as a coach gives encouraging pep talk to the team before taking the field, we can give ourselves a confidence lift. Notably, these practices have an impact on our overall health and wellbeing, serving as buffer to stress, depression, and fostering good mental and physical health. When we choose confidence, we are rewiring our brains and we are able to change ourselves and our world, for the better. So how would you feel if you can become more confident, happier go influence people in a more confident manner. With God all things are possible.

Reblogged and updated

100 women BBC season logo

Dr Stacie Grossman Bloom is Assistant Vice-President, Policy & Administration, and Associate Professor at Department of Neuroscience & Physiology, NYU Langone Health.

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SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP

IMG_20171102_114202 A recent study says sleep deprivation  actually causes brain cells to eat parts of brain’s synapses. The study found astrocytes went into overdrive in sleep-deprived mode more brain connections were broken down in chronically sleep-deprived people according to the Sleep Council. On average Britons gets a six-and-a-half hours sleep per night but for most people is not enough. Lots of these studies show that cutting back on sleep, deliberately or otherwise has serious effects on the body. Continuous nights of bad sleep is really messing blood sugar control and causing overeating. It even messes with DNA. A few years ago, Dr Simon Archer help ran experiment and found getting an hour’s less sleep a night affected activities of a wide range of volunteers’ genes in about 500 in all, including the effects associated with the inflammation and diabetes. And a good nights sleep uplifts body, mind, thought processes and moods or outlook on life.A woman after a good night's sleep

As much as wholistic benefits is gained by sound sleep on the other hand other studies shows negative effects on bodies of sleep deprivation. The clear effects of lack of sleep on mental health is shown by Trust Me I am a Doctor team with the sleep scientists at Oxford University by their experiments. They recruited some volunteers who normally sleep soundly fitted them with devices to accurately monitor their sleep. The first 3 nights of study they got a full, undisturbed eight hours. The next 3 nights, had restricted sleep to just four hours. Each day the volunteers filled in the psychological questionnaire designed to reveal any changes in their mood or emotions. So they kept video diaries of experiences of what happened. Sarah Reeve, a doctoral student who ran the experiment was so surprised by how quickly their mood changed. There was increase in anxiety, depression and stress, also increases in paranoia and feelings of mistrust about other people” she said. “Given that this happened only after 3 nights of a sleep deprivation that is alarming. Volunteers found experience unpleasant but one of them Josh claimed to be unaffected. Yet the computer data evidence showed the effects to be different. Although a week may not have as much toll as he thought it would on him, he said. “felt perfectly fine, not happy, sad, stressed, anything.” But tests did on him showed something very different. His positive emotions fell sharply after 2 nights of disturbed sleep, while negative emotions began to rise. Even though he felt OK there were signs he was mentally, beginning to suffer.sleep-deprived-woman-brain

What happens in body without enough sleep?

Poor sleep is linked to a whole range of disorders. A review of 153 studies with total of more than 5 million participants found that the short sleep significantly associated with diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, coronary heart disease and obesity.

how lack of sleep can affect your body: links with diabetes, heart disease, dementia, low mood and cognitive functioning, vaccinations less effective, lower immune response linked to coughs and colds, greater risk of obesity

Studies have shown that depriving people of enough sleep for only a few nights in a row can be enough to put healthy adults into a pre-diabetic state. Moderate levels of sleep deprivation damaged bodies’ ability to control blood glucose levels. And the vaccines are less effective if sleep deprived because sleep deprivation suppresses immune system making people more prone to infection. One study found participants who had fewer than seven hours of sleep were almost 3 times more likely to develop a cold than those who slept for 7 hours or more. People who do not sleep enough produce too much hormone ghrelin, associated with feeling hungry, and not enough of hormone leptin, associated with feeling full, which may contribute to their risk of obesity. There are also links to brain function and even in the long term to dementia. Prof. O’Mara explains that toxic debris builds up in brain during the course of the day and waste is drained from the body during sleep. If not sleeping enough ends up in a mildly concussed state, he says. The impact of sleeping too much though less understood is linked to poorer health including high risk of cognitive decline in older people. Different types of sleep to repair body and brain. After falling asleep body goes through the cycles of “sleep stages” lasting between 60 and 100 minutes. Each stage plays different role in the many processes that happen in our body during sleep.

sleep cycle through the night from awake to drowsy to light sleep, deep sleep, REM sleep and back

The first stage in each cycle is a drowsy, relaxed state between being awake and sleeping breathing slows, muscles relax, the heart rate drops. The second stage is a slightly deeper sleep may feel awake and this means on many nights, may be asleep and not know it. Stage three is deep sleep. It is very hard to wake up during this period because it is when there is the lowest amount of activity in body. Stages two and three together are known as slow wave sleep which is usually dreamless. After deep sleep we go back to stage two for a few minutes, and then enter dream sleep, also called REM (rapid eye movement). As name suggests is when dreaming happens. In a full sleep cycle a person goes through all the stages of sleep from one to three, then back down to two briefly, before entering REM sleep. Later cycles have longer periods of REM, so cutting sleep short has a disproportionately large effect on REM.

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‘Stuck’ In Negative Thoughts

The outcome of this small test reflects results of other much bigger tests done by other university researchers all over the world of sleep deprivation affecting  mental health. The research recruited more than 3,700 university students across the UK who reported problems sleeping and randomized them into two groups. One group received 6 sessions of online CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) for improving their sleep; the other group got standard advice. Ten weeks into the study, the students who received CBT reported a halving in rates of insomnia, accompanied by noticing the significant improvements in scores for depression, anxiety, big reductions in paranoia and hallucinations. This is the largest random controlled trial of psychological treatment for mental health in UK. And it strongly suggests that insomnia really causes mental health problems rather than simply being consequence of them. Daniel Freeman, the professor of the clinical psychology, Oxford University led study and thinks one of the reasons why sleep deprivation is bad for brain is because it encourages the repetitive negative thinking seen. And negative thoughts happen if sleep-deprived and gets stuck in them,” he said. He does not think a few nights of bad sleep means you becoming mentally ill but think it increases the risk.a1bb7cc18e609b3436edc80883d82dcd--interesting-health-facts-interesting-information

One in three people have difficulty in sleeping about 5% to 10% of the general population has insomnia but so many people get on with their lives and they cope with it. But it does raise the risk of a whole range of other mental health difficulties.” The positive side of this research is it implies helping people get a good night’s sleep goes a long way to helping improve a sense of well-being. And Norbert Schwarz, the professor of psychology at University of Southern California, has even put a figure on it. He claims: “Making $60,000 (£48,400) more in annual income has less of an effect on your daily happiness than getting one extra hour of sleep a night.” So, sleep well. In children, their sleep deprivation seems to have a slightly different effects on kids vs. adults. One recent study found the brain changes so half-night of sleep deprivation affects the back regions of the brain instead of the front regions as it does in adults.howthebrainrbrainscan

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Effects of Sleep Deprivation on Brain

Lots of studies reveal damaging effects of sleep deprivation on the brain. Scans from various research shows difference in brain between sound sleep and those of deprived sleep. Biological and social influences converged to create a perfect storm keeps some awake at night. In the pre-industrial times, people woke up at first light and naturally wind down at sunset. Little work could be done in the dark by candlelight but the invention of artificial light altered sleep experiences by turning night to daylight. Lightbulbs, television screens, smartphones confuse bodies’ internal clocks to interrupt the natural sleep cycle. Modern society has been conditioned to think sleeplessness is a badge of honour and productivity. Some people naturally adapted to these changes but for others these changes are against nature so has exacerbated an underlying biological deficiency and created a cycle of sleeplessness.

Neuron Synapse

Fig 2. Neurotransmitter GABA flowing between neurons. 2 natural compounds play an essential role in regulating sleep cycle: GABA and melatonin. As the day wears on absence of light and the body’s internal clock trigger the production of melatonin works with neurotransmitter GABA to help wind down mind and to prepare body for sleep. When the sleep cycle is interrupted by anxious thoughts levels of GABA and melatonin does not reach the threshold necessary to induce sleep. More concerning is how a lack of sleep affects the brain. During a healthy sleep cycle a nervous system functions like a dishwasher cleaning up the waste proteins and toxins produced by active brain cells during the day. But without enough sleep, the body does not have enough time to completely clean up the waste produced by brain. In the same way dishwasher cannot properly clean dishware if turned off in mid-cycle. If feeling groggy after a restless night it is actually experiencing effects of a toxin buildup in brain. If sleeplessness cycle continues for extended period of time, there is a longer lasting detrimental effects on the brain and overall health.
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new clinical study by the Princeton Consumer Research says break cycle without relying on harmful chemicals with addictive properties. Alleviate this problem in a simple way using natural ingredients to promote a healthy sleep. In the last 18 months, researchers in a GMP-certified facility in New York have perfected a formula containing 5 safest and most potent natural compounds for restful sleep. In addition the position of sleep affects mental health and sound sleep. So sleep experts advise people to sleep more on their sides to enable the brain to detox and drain waste products better. People’s personality often can be determined by their sleep patterns and positions leading to their performance in life. Whatever position suits each one depends of personal choice and comfort though health can affect sleep position. In some circumstances environmental noise pollution can intrude into sleep no matter preparations made. In such cases it is wise to consult sleep experts for professional cobsultation advice. 

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The univeristy also developed natural sleep nutrients to help improve sleep. It is advisable to contact a doctor before embarking on any form of natural or a medical aid to sleep. A natural RediNite combines delicate balance of Melatonin, and the L-Tryptophan, Magnolia Bark, Lemon Balm, and Passion Flower to help your mind wind down to promote healthy, sustained sleep. Each of the 5 natural ingredients in the RediNite formula has been clinically proven to boost levels of GABA and melatonin, allowing body to sleep peacefully and naturally to flush waste proteins from brain accumulated while awake. The result is falling into a deep sleep more quickly and waking up feeling refreshed, and ward off morning grogginess. Whether an early bird or a night owl, RediNite helps to establish a healthy sleep routine centered around your specific needs. When you struggle with sleeplessness, you need something to helps fall asleep fast, promotes deep, restful sleep so you wake up refreshed each morning. The Princeton Consumer Research performed a clinical trial to test RediNite’s effectiveness within 30 minutes and over the course of 30 days.

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Click here to view the complete results.

While it is not a miracle cure, clinical results are very encouraging. After one week of use, more than 3 out of 4 study participants fell asleep in 30 minutes of taking RediNite. In addition, over 95% said their sleep quality improved within 30 days. None of participants reported any negative side effects. The results were statistically significant compared with placebo. RediNite is vegan, non-GMO, and gluten-free, and is made in a GMP-certified facility in New York to ensure the highest standards of safety. The entire RediNite compound fits into one vegetable capsule with low-dosage, high-efficiency ingredients helps for the immediate relief. Taken daily, body will safely absorb the RediNite’s natural ingredients and help to achieve deep restful sleep each night. Go to sleep faster and stay asleep longer by trying RediNite tonight. This exclusive offer is not available in stores. Available online through November 4th. Click the link below to claim 30 Day Trial of RediNite.

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God is always watching over you

1. Psalm 121:2-5 My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let you fall. Your guardian will not fall asleep. Indeed, the Guardian of Israel never rests or sleeps. The Lord is your guardian. The Lord is the shade over your right hand.

2. Proverbs 3:24  When you lie down, you will not be afraid. When you rest, your sleep will be peaceful.

3. Psalm 4:7-8 But you have made me happier than they will ever be with all their wine and grain. When I go to bed, I sleep in peace, because, Lord, you keep me safe.

4.  Psalm 3:3-6 But you, Lord, protect me. You bring me honor; you give me hope. I will pray to the Lord, and he will answer me from his holy mountain. I can lie down to rest and know that I will wake up, because the Lord covers and protects me. So I will not be afraid of my enemies, even if thousands of them surround me.

 

Rest Assured

5. Proverbs 1:33 but whoever listens to me willlive in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.

6. Psalm 16:9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure.

7. Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

8. Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Don’t sleep too much

9. Proverbs 19:15 Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless go hungry.

10. Proverbs 20:13 If you love sleep, you will end in poverty. Keep your eyes open, and there will be plenty to eat!

11. Proverbs 26:14-15 Like a door on its hinges, a lazy man turns back and forth on his bed. Lazy people are too lazy to lift the food from their plate to their mouth.

12. Proverbs 6:9-10 How long will you lie there, you lazy person? When will you get up from sleeping? You sleep a little; you take a nap. You fold your hands and lie down to rest.

 

Don’t overwork yourselfeither. Can’t sleep? Check out verses for sleepless nights

13. Ecclesiastes 5:12 The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether they eat little or much, but as for the rich, their abundance permits them no sleep.

14. Psalm 127:2 It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.

 

Examples

15. Jeremiah 31:25-26 I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint. At this I awoke and looked around. My sleep had been pleasant to me.

16. Matthew 9:24 He said, “Go away, for the girl is not dead but sleeping.” And they laughed at him.

17. John 11:11 After saying these things, he said to them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him.”

18. 1 Kings 19:5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.”

19. Matthew 8:24 Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.

20. Matthew 25:5 As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept.

Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep 

Sleep, sleep,
Don’t peep,
Night is coming soon;
Mama tucks her sleepyheads,
Snugly in their cozy beds;
Sleep, sleep,
Don’t peep,
Night is coming soon.
Soon…

Good night,
Sleep tight,
May your dreams be sweet;
Twinkling stars, their watch will keep,
While the angels guard your sleep,
Good night,
Sleep tight,
May your dreams be sweet.
Sweet…

Courtesy Credits:

Rebloged and Updated

Words & Music: W. Otto Miessner Adapted By: Terry Kluytmans © 2002

Trust Me I’m a Doctor – Mental Health Special on BBC2 at 21:00 GMT Wednesday 1 November.

OLD & NEW GENERATIONS

IMG_20171101_083126A youngster asked grandfather Grandpa How did you people live before with:

No technology
No aeroplanes
No internet
No computers
No dramas
No TVs
No air-conditions
No cars
No mobile phones?”

Granddad replied: “Just like how your generation live today

No prayers
No compassion
No honour
No respect
No character
No shame
No modesty”

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We, the people born between 1950-1989 are blessed ones, our life is living proof.

👉While playing and riding bicycles, we never wore helmets.

👉After school, we played until dusk; we never watched TV.

👉We played with real friends, not internet friends.

👉 If we ever felt thirsty, we drank tap water not bottled water.

👉We never got ill sharing the same glass of juice with four friends.

👉We never gained weight eating plates of rice everyday.

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👉Nothing happened to our feet despite roaming barefoot.

👉We never used any supplements to keep ourselves healthy.

👉We used to create our own toys and play with those.

👉Our parents were not rich. They gave love.. not worldly materials.

👉We never had cellphones, DVDs, play station, XBox, video games, personal computers, internet, chat – but we had real friends.

👉We visited our friend’s home uninvited and enjoyed food with them.

👉Relatives lived close by so family time was enjoyed.

👉We may have been in black and white photos but you can find colourful memories in those photos.

👉 We unique and an understanding generation because the last generation who listened to their parents and first who have to listen to their children.

We are a LIMITED edition! Enjoy us. Learn from us. Treasure us.

DON’T WORRY IN LIFE

Focusing on the present will help apprehensive thoughts to disappear on their own Matthew 6:25-34 in Bible says do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; do not worry about your body what you will wear. Your life is more than food and the body more than clothes. Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself by trusting God to provide and guide you to make wise choices and prosper. And 
when anxiety or panic attack sets in do breathing exercise and remember great peace beyond human understanding is promised within God’s Gospel words bring consolation and joy. In Phillipians 4:6-7 Jesus said, Do not let your hearts be troubled since you believe in God, believe in Jesus. And do not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer, petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God passing all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. Jesus is in your lifeboat so it makes a difference despite the reality of circumstances. Isaiah 41:10 says, do not fear for I am with you do not worry or be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you; And uphold you with a righteous right hand. Psalm 94:19 says cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you in anxiety so great is God’s words bringing consolation joy.
Proverbs 14:1 says anxiety weighs down the heart but kind words cheers up. And in Proverbs 12:25, Jesus promised that,

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. John 14:27 states, Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. Psalm 38:9 tells us, All longings lie open before God so sighing not hidden from God. In Mark 13:11, if falsely accused do not worry about what to say just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.2 Corinthians 9:8 says God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. And in Revelation 21:3-4, And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, mourning or crying or pain for the old things pass away.” Job2:20-21 states Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I will depart. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away the name of the Lord be praised.”Luke 12:23 says,

Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For your life is worth more than food and body more than clothes.

The Bible proves again worrying as the science research shows is just a waste of time so advises to turn off worrying. The  Experts reveals the THREE STEPS to take control of your apprehensions, stop brooding for good.

  • Recognise that brooding is a waste of time and energy, not problem-solving
  • Focus on the here and now to let worries slip away and stop them taking over
  • Avoid distractions as these have the opposite effect to calming down the mind
  • Distractions don’t work in the long term as you rely on external things to be calm 
  • ‘Our minds are so capable of imagining things and our thoughts become facts’

An expert revealed three steps to stop worrying for good. Recognise brooding thoughts are a waste of time, focusing on the present and avoiding distractions can all help people to take control of apprehensions, according to Professor Hans Nordahl from the department of behavioural medicine at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology. He said:  people confuse ruminative brooding with problem solving, analysis or review, the content tends to be self-critical and self-focused and linked to negative experiences in life. ‘I usually illustrate it by holding a glass of water in my hand. Most people would say that’s easy to do, but if I hold the glass continuously for 2 hours gets heavy. ‘It works the same way with our brooding and worries. They aren’t necessarily that heavy when they’re short-lived, but they get heavy when they last for a long time. Recognise the brooding thoughts are a waste of time and energy and not problem-solving

3 STEPS TO STOP WORRYING

According to Professor Hans Nordahl from the department of behavioural medicine at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, people can take control of their worries by:

  • Recognising such thoughts are a waste of time – Going over things repeatedly is not a form of problem-solving
  • Focusing on the here and now – Get involved in real-life situations to allow negative thoughts to disappear on their own.
  • Stop seeking distractions – These have opposite effect on calming mind as people rely on external things to find relief.  Recognise it is a waste of time.  

Firstly, recognise that worrying is a waste of time and energy. Professor Nordahl said: ‘Reducing ruminative brooding isn’t as difficult as it may seem, but there are a few prerequisites you need to know before you start. ‘The most important thing about brooding as a mental activity is to realize brooding itself is a meaningless and useless activity. ‘It doesn’t help anything and has no calming or problem-solving effect.’ People often confuse worrying with problem solving, the former is actually negative, repetitive thinking about negative experiences occurred or the way they did reinforces problems. Once you recognise you are worrying, ask yourself if it has any purpose or if there is even an answer to the question you are considering. ‘Focus on the here and now’ in the spatial moment and do enjoy your life no matter how humble. 

Secondly, try and focus on the situation you are currently in. Professor Nordahl said: ‘Get involved in other more real-life things currently happening in your life. ‘If you focus on the here and now, the illusions  that is worry and brooding won’t take hold as much. ‘The thoughts continue to churn, but just let them be there and live their own lives. ‘Anything that isn’t given attention will gradually disappear on its own, and this applies to one’s brooding. 

Thirdly, Focusing on the present helps stop the overwhelming  apprehensive thoughts to disappear on their own.  

STRESS SEES DANGER IN EVEN HARMLESS SITUATIONS

Stress makes people sense danger in harmless situations, research revealed earlier this month. Humans are thought to have learned to identify dangerous scenarios for self-defense, however, certain circumstances can cause people to misidentify such cues. Researchers found people respond with fear when their stress levels are high. Suzannah Creech associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Texas, who was not involved in study, said: ‘These findings provide important laboratory data that helps explain why PTSD [post-traumatic stress disorder] symptoms exacerbated during times of stress, and the repeated stress and trauma in the battlefield may lead to increased risk for PTSD.’ Experts believe the findings could aid PTSD treatment. Distractions do not work so avoid distractions as it has the opposite effect on calming the mind. Professor Nordahl said: ‘Turning focus away from your thoughts does not mean trying to escape or distract yourself from them. ‘Many people use television, gambling, computer games or drugs to control or suppress the brooding. ‘Distracting self in order to calm down does not work well in the long run. You’re relying on other people or external things to get calm. ‘Trying not to think of negative thoughts creates a recoil effect, because the brain has to keep track of what you shouldn’t think about, and those are the thoughts you’re trying to avoid.’ ‘Our minds are capable of imagining things’

Professor Nordahl said: ‘some people often confuse ruminative brooding with problem solving, analysis or review, but unfortunately the content tends to be self-critical and self-focused and linked to negative experiences in life. ‘I usually illustrate it by holding a glass of water in my hand. Most people say that’s easy to do, but if I hold a glass continuously for two hours it gets heavy. ‘It works the same way with brooding and worries. They aren’t necessarily heavy when they’re short-lived, but they get heavy when they last for a long time. ‘We’re well equipped to develop anxiety and worry, because our minds are capable of imagining things and our thoughts become facts. ‘Our capacity as humans to analyse ourselves or to anticipate threatening scenarios can be used in constructive ways but has negative and unhelpful effects.’ Life coach Sarah Alexander explained steps to low stress.

Courtesy: Original Science Article
By Alexandra Thompson Health Reporter For Mailonline14:08, 24 Aug 2017, updated 16:45, 24 Aug 2017
Rebloged & Updated on Bible Viewpoint

SAD WINTER DEPRESSION

171629_20140102_170028_timeSeasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) used to affect me so badly at times I was in bed for days. Also known as the ‘winter depression’ is exacerbated by loss and grief, pain to become unfit and unwell not very actively doing any work for all such reasons or no particular reasons. I did not feel like bubbly self but wanted the curtains drawn during the daytime. I became unwell at times bed ridden for days. It happened consistently for years until my doctor told me about SAD as a condition that affects people during the cold months of transition from summer to winter. The body feels changes in the weather so responds in a different way making people feel sad, down, anxious and depressed. These changes happen so some people dread winter months of returning to work, school in September. Autumn to Winter shorter, colder days seem like a gloomy prospect. Autumn can worsen anxiety and depression as experts say, so why does it affect us and can we beat the blues. I discovered the reason was less Sunshine means less light affects brain parts that control mood swings when it is colder too. Some few people manage to escape into hot zones during winter months for a while. But few people are privileged to escape harsh cold winter. It affects people if too busy to take care of self in a healthy way. Being too busy doing too many things to manage own personal life due to the other demands on time and attention given others often seen as more urgent than own personal needs for quality time. Any yes person understands that trying to help others mostly in crises after waiting too long drains the mind and sometimes too late to seek help. During such times can feel obliged to jump in at deep end to rescue others until one has a burn out.01_Silent_signs_seasonal_depression_disorder_SAD_good_zzs_yanyong Realise doing so for years means hardly any time left to meet personal needs. Its really SAD that awoke me to change my lifestyle to be able to stay healthy to overcome SAD moments consistently. I discovered solutions that help deal with SAD by increasing light, strong light is helpful to provide similar effects of the Sunshine light. Special halogen lamp helps body to adapt to mood changes and mood swings as the light and heat combined transforms the brain. It is important to open the curtains to get Sunlight and fresh air. To wear a winter clothing suitable for the weather rather than about fashion and image. It is necessary to wear good soled shoes with foot warmer insoles to protect the feet from cold affecting brains neurons connected to the feet. A warm feet and hands, face equals good moods so cover up well in winter clothing. Although the Sun seems bright it is not really hot as in the summer months. If indoors and getting up to dress for the outdoors remember indoor room temperature is warmer so do not dress by indoor warm temperatures. Carry a spare clothings for any unpredictable changes in the weather to be safe than sorry. Be aware of the fabrics best for winter clothing and wear them earlier in Autumn than wait for coldest winter. This changed my life as body preserves summer heat throughout into winter not waiting for freezing cold months to put on warm clothes. My body and feet even sweat in winter as if still summer days. I am active in winter again eating healthier hot foods to keep my body temperature up. I ensure my sleep improves by time routine structure. My sleep pattern gets better by a set room conditions adapted to let body wind down to sleep better. insomnia2-1038x576If not mind becomes fogged by lack of sleep, red eyes, inability to focus. Extra effort is required make changes to get better results, rest, rest, rest from exhaustion, tiredness, fatigue, stress, pressure, noise pollution, fuels SAD. Distract yourself by playing crosswords, puzzles to improve brain muscles. If not on any emergency standby call of duty it is wise to switch phone off at night. Tell all people to call you only at certain times unless it is an urgent call, cut down the online time to give your brain rest. If the work entails online duties cut down on the personal browsing for “fun” as mind overworked does not get rest to replenish brain cells and the tissues vital for your well-being. Resist urge to stay sloppy, unkempt unwashed, not getting out of bed with the curtains drawn in your comfort zone. Even if cannot afford hot bath daily, top and tail and change clothes. Do not let yourself drift into an oblivion by pity party feeling sorry for yourself. Invite people over to force you to make effort to do something, ask for help, maintain your home and ask any friends to bring meals to share. Bake or buy good meals to share, charities are serving food and food banks are helping help yourself. So important not to let life overwhelm you. A good friend surprised the depressed friend with this homemade cake though not valentine day to cheer friend up. IMG_20170701_214235340

Do not be so private or proud to isolate yourself and hide because you do not feel good, it only gets worse until some cannot leave the house for years. Go out frequently and spend quality time at home to rest. Its these combinations of outdoors and indoors that helps you to get better. Volunteer, if you have no job at the moment, offer to help neighbours to run errands for them, etc and get joy of building others up its a great healer of mood swings. As you step outside self to focus on others you bring joy to them and yourself. In turn, no more isolated, so belong to a choir, music group other community support project help change moods. Take good quality vitamins to boost body’s energy level performance in winter months especially. Rest is very important to continue feeling better and emotionally stronger. Tell your friends and family about these changes asking them to help you keep up with the new plans you put in place. Exercise helps and keeping healthy friends to support you maintain changes is wonderful. You may help some improve their mood too. In extreme cases of clinically depressed people, doctors help with medication to lift the moods. So do not tough it out by yourself alone, seek help as I did years ago to share the results with you. If you have underlying deep-rooted causes of depression talking therapy or cognitive behaviour therapy required depending on issues dealt with. Remember to give place to God in Christ in life as it makes life easier to bear assured of eternal life.today-is-the-right-timeAs the weather is here to stay you must prepare to be able to function without blaming the weather. In fact changes in the weather is essential for carbon cycle regeneration so work with the weather not against it. “Every year I tell myself this is the last winter I can do in the UK,” says Cal Strode, 25, who lives in London and has seasonal affective disorder (SAD), a condition can bring on low moods and depression during autumn and winter. “It’s already starting to look darker and colder, and is when I tend to feel low and lack energy.” SAD affects about one in 15 people in UK between the months of September and April, according to the NHS. For more serious sufferers, it can prevent people from functioning normally during the autumn and winter months and is thought to be caused by lack of light, as well as other factors such as colder temperatures and the return to normal routines. Anxiety UK, a mental health charity, also says it expects to receive more calls to its helpline in September saying far fewer people contact the charity about anxiety and depression when the sun is shining.

‘My mood dropped’

Cal, who works for the Mental Health Foundation charity, was diagnosed with SAD six years ago when he was studying abroad in the US. “I was in San Diego and went home for Christmas, when suddenly my mood dropped and it felt like I had no energy to do anything,” he says. “It was supposed to be a happy time with my family and celebrations but I was staying in bed until the late afternoon.” With SAD, the lack of light is thought to affect the part of the brain that rules sleep and energy levels. As September looms, Cal plans to spend 45 minutes a day next to a light box to alleviate his symptoms, but admits finding the time can be uphill struggle. “Even on the way to work this week I thought this is such a beautiful day and my mood was so uplifted by it,” he says.A lunch on a pile of notepads, back to school

Back to school

Even for people without the disorder, September can be a difficult time as school starts and workplaces get busier. Added to this, the weather worsens, days get shorter, and it is a long wait until the next bank holiday over Christmas. “We see it every year; summer really does impact people’s moods,” says Nicky Lidbetter, chief executive of Anxiety UK. “People feel more resilient and able to cope when the sun is shining,” says Ms Lidbetter. “Summer is a time when it’s a more relaxed atmosphere in general, there is less traffic on the roads, it’s not as structured.” Autumn can leave us “pining that summer is gone”, she says, especially if any grand plans failed to materialise. “Even if we left school a long time ago, September feels like a time to be more serious and that can instil a sense of anxiety,” she says. But it is not all bad psychologists say we thrive on routine since it brings about structure and offers us a chance to be around people. “After a period of relaxation there’s the stress of a new academic year, or work getting busy, but also healthy routines and habits,” says Dr Sherylin Thompson, a counselling psychologist. “It can be worse if you’re feeling stuck in the routine, and haven’t got a choice, but it can be a chance to change things.” She suggests preparing for September by picking a new challenge or vowing not to give up on a hobby or activity you did during summer. “Keep up health habits, keep up socialising that would usually revive you in good company,” she says. Clinical psychologist Dr Camilla Rosan from Mental Health Foundation adds: “Over the summer people go on lots of holidays and they aren’t always around, now’s an opportunity to see friends.” She recommends planning days in advance, including going to the gym and seeing people. “When the days are shorter, it is important to make a clear routine about when we’re going to fit in exercise, get to the gym, see our friends,” she says. “The weather and light might be stopping us from going outdoors, but stuck at home when it’s dark and dismal into opportunity.” Cal makes an effort to eat well and avoid comfort food during the autumn and winter months. “Some days I don’t feel like I have the energy to cook, and you can crave fast foods high in fat and carbohydrates,” he says. “I’ll try to spend time over the weekends making something like a big bean stew that will last throughout week it is not sunshine but it helps.” Recognise features of this condition affects extreme behaviours or perfectionist tendencies from childhood so deal with the root causes of anxiety. Woman in a forest with autumnal treesListen to advise from the therapist to clarify thoughts in yout head. Not eating properly means losing weight which is very low for any healthy size suitable for you. Do not be angry if people say you are thin and be offended. Check if daily performances gets worse and worse and more more isolated to a point you identify not ok and not yourself anymore to completely lose yourself. Admitting issues helps to solves problems before it gets worse. Do not hide away and refuse to see anybody and stay in the bedroom thinking people are ashamed of you. Even in the depths of struggles set life goals to qualify and achieve a better you. Do not spent years trying to avoid to speaking anyone or be fluctuating in thought so not happy in yourself. Get a therapist at any point and start working through older issues that you may not realise exist affecting you. Deeper issues will be unravelled so things you never knew existed in your head to overcome anxiety depression. Clear your head and do not be forever angry and bitter, hot tempered, easily offended, narcissistic control freak, highstrung, uptight and explosive, raging inconsiderate temper tantrums, hysterical negative temperament anxiously living in fear and confused in thought. Do not be hyper alert feeling like being judged, on trial, scrutinized etc even fof helpful advise and support that enhances your welbeing. It is important not to project hurts or pain to those around because you blame all except yourself for all problems. Set long term and short life goals to achieve, be committed, disciplined, firm, filled with confidence. Understand the fickleness of human relationship require personal selfcontrol and tolerance. Search the meaning of your life to understand life on deeper level. Enjoy life, stay humble, encourage yourself in the Lord like King David did in his most formative years whether a young man or woman or adult. Remember, that the most permanent influences shaping your worldview is priceless quality time growing up in family. Do not become paranoid, shattered in the maelstrom of vengeful anger. Do not humiliate those who care or help you be strong when criticised. It is good to learn to survive on wits to develop emotional toughness not victim mentality but independence of thought. Reflect on ability to listen to other points of view without necessarily bowing to all of them. Learn to enjoy errors pointed out but not swayed too much by that. God corrects those HE LOVES so stand corrected and do not be obsessive about being always right. Just because so-and-so says something does not start weighing cost and benefit to lose appetite over it. Give in to good helpful advise to build you up. The Bible says give advise to a wise person and they thank you and become wiser. Give advise to a fool and he will hate you so choose your words carefully knowing when to apply golden rule in life at all times show kindness to even those who misunderstand your motives because you do things unto the LORD.

Rebloged and Updated

A DEVOTED DAD SAVES SON

A father’s love and devotion for his son paid off extending to daring rummage to save lives against all odds brought tears to my eyes this morning as a good read for all to learn a life lesson. God is Faithful in most critical moments when all hope is lost Jesus delivers children as the best piece of article encouraging parents to be there for their children in time of need. In the country of Armenia in 1988, Samuel and Danielle sent their young son Armand to school. Samuel squatted before his son and looked him in the eye. “Have a good day at school, and remember, no matter what, I’ll always be there for you.” They hugged and the boy ran off to school. Hours later, a powerful earthquake rocked the area. In the midst of the pandemonium, Samuel and Danielle tried to discover what happened to their son but they couldn’t get any information. The radio announced that there were thousands of casualties. Samuel then grabbed his coat and headed for the schoolyard. When he reached the area, what he saw brought tears to his eyes. Armand’s school was a pile of debris. And parents were standing around crying. Samuel found place where Armand’s classroom used to be and began pulling a broken beam off the pile of rubble. He grabbed a rock and put it to the side, grabbed another. One of the parents looking on asked, “What are you doing?” “Digging for my son,” Samuel answered. The man then said, “You’re just going to make things worse! The building is unstable,” and tried to pull Samuel away from his work. Samuel just kept working. TERREMOTO DE ARMENIA- 7-12-1988Time wore on, one by one other parents left. Then a worker tried to pull Samuel away from the rubble. Samuel looked at him and said, “Won’t you help me?” The worker left and Samuel kept digging. All through the night and into the next day, Samuel continued digging. The parents placed flowers and pictures of their children on the ruins. But, Samuel just kept working. He picked up a beam and pushed it out of the way then heard a faint cry. “Help! Help!” Samuel listened but didn’t hear anything again. Then he heard a muffled voice, “Papa?” Samuel began to dig furiously. Finally he could see his son. “Come on out, son!” he said with relief. “No,” Armand said. “Let the other kids come out first, I know you’ll get me.” Child after child emerged until, finally, little Armand appeared. Samuel took him in his arms and Armand said, “I told the kids not to worry because you told me that you’d always be there for me!” Fourteen children were saved that day because one father was faithful. So faithful is God Almighty to us! Whether trapped by fallen debris or ensnared by life’s hardships and struggles, we are never cut off from God’s faithfulness. HE is true to His character, reliable and trustworthy and always counted on. So keep trusting God to the end, read the Bible and encourage someone. Matthew 18:1-4 says, the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like a child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. A child literally believes what is told so expects exact performance of promises. In this case the child knew his was there for him so reassures his friends that his will surely come for them. That promise kept their hope alive and kept them to hold on until they were rescued. In the same way, adults must trust God believe in Jesus so have faith in God who Keeps His Promises so cannot fail. maxresdefaultHindrances like earthquakes against people try to distract and stop God’s blessings but God defeats the opposer the devil. This is why it important to understand how the attacks of the devil tries to sabotage blessings and miracles from God. Earthquakes often as natural phenomenon process of changes in the tectonic plates of earth cause damage. So issue is man-made structure concrete not properly reinforced by shoddy work of construction. A loving human father defied concrete blocks to seek his son buried in the ruins. That bonding trust between father and son assured both it is well even in adversity. It pays off to allow a father to be part of a child’s life to interact playfully and to involved in disciplining children. Get on the floor to play with your children as playing with them does not diminish you as a parent. You enter their world and let your hair down for at least 1 hour everyday set a time aside in your diary, tell partners at work in board meetings unavailable to attend some projects. Remember they have only one childhood so embrace the precious years to create good memories for the future. Negotiate into contracts value of quality time with your family. A good ethical company provides for the children of their staff, time off for school runs, distance and location of job near as much as possible for couples to raise their children. Job markets cannot force people to abandon family unless a dangerously risky job so unsuitable that can children at risk. Many accomplish and achieve great things in the world so renowned but emotionally lost children. Human value is more precious and also more priceless than all material assets so do not be embarrassed to play with your children. IMG-20170818-WA0000Help children set up toys, play football, play basketball, tennis, go walking, run, swim with them to get fit yourself. The parent connected emotionally with the children gain financial security and also automatically takes care of emotional stability at a deeper level relationship. A child depleted from parental attention craves attention in the wrong places. A family bonding lasts into future years so ensure attachment making the children avoid vulnerable online predators. The child connected to parents will share an onset secret safely trusting parents to help them stop any ongoing threats of bullying and building their confidence. Expensive items provided in life is good enough but does not always meet their emotional needs. If bread winner, the house husband father can partake in the story reading too. It can be hard for mothers bearing children to let go for a father to join in to take over childcare duties and prefer the father to mother. Always treasure and loves enjoying the moments at the end of day by curling up with children to read bedtime story, to feel chaos of the day often slowly slip away. One night recently as snuggled up to a middle son Zevi, six with a copy of Charlie and Chocolate Factory in hand, a mother was told ‘wants Daddy today,’ sentiment again echoed by four-year-old daughter, Zeabella and son Rafael, who’s nine. A BBC newsreader reading for a living, said it was insulting enough to be elbowed out of responsibility that husband Phil too usually shared. IMG3297_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqzoK5uT2wTvu30RJXoHqq-ZAXHT4Ea86dTrIQm8CiHy8What really struck core was they all wanted Daddy to put them to bed, too. While on one hand high-fiving myself for being granted early dismissal from parenting duties, deep down felt hurt. This came days after holidays during which preferring Daddy became the recurring theme. It began in the taxi to the airport with three shouts of, ‘I want to sit next to Daddy.’ Then in departure lounge it was, ‘Daddy, sit next to me.’ Boarding the plane, they were pushing each other out of the way to grab the seat next to Phil, and for much of the week it was, ‘Daddy, hold my hand,’ and, ‘Daddy, swim with me.’ As they clambered all over him in the pool it began to really niggle. Spending time with him is more of a novelty working shifts allows me to be far more present but the sound of them shrieking and giggling started to grate. Why didn’t they want me? I had to bite my lip not to blurt out, ‘Without me you wouldn’t be on this holiday! Without me you wouldn’t have sun cream, goggles, books, iPads, clothes, sandals. Without me you might not even eat.’ Well, not the right meal at the right time of day, anyway. Perhaps, thats part of the problem as issuer of orders, the keeper of the diary, organiser, the taxi service familiarity breeds contempt for mother not fun like the nursery school. Mother has no time to mess about with them at bedtime or play games or just hang out. And become the consolation prize, the parent a child reluctantly sits next to if that is the only option left. It feels petty to be upsetting so mentioned it to Phil who certainly thought its oversensitive although admits can see it’s there. So try to shrug it off. After all the years telling kids not to be jealous of each other and constantly on the lookout for who gets more treats, time, attention or love than the others. The two boys often accused favouring of youngest child and only girl. Recently, Rafael asked why always talks to girl in a softer voice, ‘because you’re nine and she’s four as previously done. So now makes conscious effort to speak to them all in the same tone. In some ways blame father for if the child prefers him. Endless opportunities to gain affection by allowing more time on the iPad, more lenient bedtimes, sweets but never be short-sighted in parenting skills for the sake of earning popularity points. And do not create competition in marriage based on jealousy for love of your children either by father, family or grandparents. IMG_3448_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqKiXZQx93oSlqShjvKjhsvQeQxwNu9mZ1LooiSTYVBw4Perhaps Phil lets them get away with more than giving nagging more quickly, but on the whole we are on the same page and present a united front. In some ways I do not even blame them for preferring him he is always ready with a joke and more patience than the mother. So, may feel little pang of envy now and then focus more on the times children want and need mother often if feeling physically or emotionally hurt so make the most of freetime. If in summer holidays they fight over Dad then enjoy relaxing with headphones on and read your favourite books. Do not restrict or intimidate child to cut off a relationship with mother because you feel jealous. It is essential on other hand some dad’s struggle to bond and interact with their children like the father shared online in true story. Terrence Mentor a blogger who goes by screen name AfroDaddy,   recently publicly opens up on personal struggles of being dad and relationship with his younger son, who seems to be indifferent towards him.

dad

AfroDaddy hopes by sharing his story other parents all over the world will understand they do not need to keep beating themselves up but should be open and honest to themselves and their partners. Their first son was adopted so it was easier for him and his wife to take turns to feed and care for the child. This made it easy for him to have a bond with his adopted child and AfroDaddy said however, his second son was a lot different. Upon birth, his second son already had an intrinsic connection with his mom. That bond outlasted his newborn stage and continued on until he was a toddler. That made it difficult for him. On his facebook page, he wrote that “It is quite a thing to be a dad who can’t comfort his child, who is constantly told ‘No, I go to mommy,’ who never seems to have a real, relational moment with his son.” He also admitted that he was jealous and admitted that it was a bit childish. I know its silly and childish but jealousy was real and disheartening Mentor said. AfroDaddy said all that changed when his younger son started warming up to him. He said over the past few months, his younger son would tend to choose him over his wife, which made him somehow feel happy. “This child, who would cry when I so much as looked his way, came to me for comfort and calm. Not going to lie I got a little teary eyed,” Mentor said.dad

dad

According to an expert family therapist, Leslie Seppinni: “it’s not automatic that you’re going to bond with your child. Usually it does take a little while.”You see some men do not understand the sacrifice and self denial involved carrying pregnancy 9 months, going through labour worst pain on earth, in pain breastfeeding after birth, the body bloated, and the man is envious and jealous of children being nurtured as their parents did for them. They put all their anger, bitterness, frustrations on for ” ruining ” their happiness. So put anger on innocent children by breaking their toys in front of them, bashing wall knocking holes in walls, kicking the dog, thrashing premises in temper tantrums. The children copy such behaviours for some men do not understand sacrifice, selfdenial so envious jealous of children put their anger, bitterness, frustrations on children so accusing them of ruining their happiness. Mother wisely told me just because man claims to love woman does not mean he includes the children. Some neglect the children because they lacked the natural automatic soul bond that ties a child to parents. Preoccupied with envy and jealousy of their children seeth with hatred, venom vitriol instead of giving them real lve and attention child deserves from them. Quite frankly some are tall children themselves so not really have a frontal cortex so not fully understanding parenthood. The stories remind us of God’s LOVE, Favour upon our lives in Jesus Name by forgiving us as a LOVING father when even unable to appreciate God’s Love for mankind. And most women need courage to leave the child in a safe father’s good hands. Get a support, help needed, required training humbly than trying in vain to change a partner. Do not get me wrong billions of great and wonderful fathers and responsible are men out there yet it is the stupid ones that rock my feathers.dad

At the same time as transition happens and the father eventually bonds with a child, the mother now feels rejected and abandoned after doing all the hardwork alone. These stories reveal the modern trends of lack of daily extended family support putting burden on the couples to raise children alone most of the time. A mother can feel jealous too if a child prefers the father over mother at times. Children grow up very fast and move on with their lives. So create the precious memories for the moment to recall their childhood of good times. At the end of a it all, the couple have to live with each other when the children flow the nest. Continue to build up own relationship first and teach the children to respect both parents. Team work betwern the couple establishes firm rules, discipline and work ethics children trained apply in their own lives and marriages later. Parents must understand sacrifices and be mature to be there for the children emotionally instead of treating them as opponents in a competition. Often many children hurt, suffer or lost lives due to a parent’s immature jealousy behaviour and actions impacting their lives into adulthood. Some cultures with extended family support daily have clear roles of childcare rules so this issues may seem strange to them to read about. However, these real life issues exist and children must be taught from early years love for family, tolerance and the understanding of relationship roles, needs of babies and todflers, expectant mothers moods, supporting each other, helping around the home by every member of family, healthy eating, sound sleep, work, rest ethics and family principles, discipline, interaction and socialising skills in the community.  Where both parents have extreme upbringing viewpoints there is need to create hybrid middle ground of compromise for their peace of mind and understanding. No perfect family exists on earth, do the best you can and leave the ‘rest’ of family in the HANDS of God.

BIPOLAR SPENDING SPREE

shopping_spree

People with bipolar disorder experience severe mood swings can last several weeks or months. These include feelings of intense depression despair, manic feelings of extreme happiness, mixed mood depression with restlessness and overactivity. The disorder can also lead to impulsive spending sprees, usually during manic episodes. These extend to cars, holidays and computers, costing thousands of dollars, as irrational decision-making takes hold. It may be wild “self-medicating” shopping sprees, unwise investments, extravagant gifts to family, friends or charity, or spending a fortune on gambling. People with mental health problems are already more likely to be debt-ridden than the general population, and the number is even higher among those with bipolar disorder. Financial troubles then lead to problems of stress, anxiety, depression and suicide among those not officially diagnosed with a mental illness.Cant-Afford-To-Eat (1)

Can’t Find Money To Eat

The UK mental health charity Mind says debt is leaving thousands of people with bipolar disorder struggling to find money to eat, stay warm and pay the rent. They wrote a report stating, “People who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder may have particular problems managing their finances. During a manic, or ‘high’ phase, people can feel euphoric, brimming with ambitious schemes or ideas, their confidence excessively high. They may reach financial decisions that seem sensible to them at the time but which, in retrospect, are not. People may spend extravagantly causing a considerable debt. “After a high phase is over, they are shocked at what they have done and by the consequences they face. This spirals out of control quickly and can be daunting.” During a low phase, the person may feel so depressed they are unable to leave the house or even answer the phone. Unopened bills can pile up. Comedian and writer Stephen Fry spoke out about his experiences on behalf of the charity Mind. He said: “My own bipolar condition has caused me to go on plenty of giddy spending sprees. Because so much stigma still surrounds mental health, many people can’t get a job, on poverty line, and can’t get credit but doorstep lenders charging up to 400 percent interest. Mind’s chief executive, Paul Farmer, adds people with bipolar disorder can become trapped in a spiral of debt that further compounds their mental health problems. He believes that procedures need to be put in place that allow people to protect their finances while still retaining autonomy. Customers with mental health problems should be able to ask bank to monitor their account for unusual spending patterns, and treated appropriately if they miss repayments.happy-family-children-shopping-11079356

Getting Out of Debt as Bipolar

Mental health professionals sometimes offer advice and help individuals set a realistic budget. They can help set up a repayment plan to creditors and teach financial management skills. Friends and family may be able to assist by creating checks and balances to prevent manic spending sprees. If in agreement, they could monitor individual’s money from a distance. Psychoeducation could also be a good idea. Teaching people with bipolar disorder about the illness, treatment and to recognize relapse or causes of relapse early intervention is sought before full-blown illness episode occurs. The approach may be helpful for family members. In addition, there are support groups available for patients and family members to help them talk openly about the condition. Studies suggest that the availability of social support increases the chances of employment in patients with bipolar disorder compared with those patients without support. Bipolar disorder, lifestyle decisions such as exercising and eating well can help to avoid such problems. Keeping regular sleeping patterns is thought to be helpful in preventing episodes, as is avoiding excessive stimulation such as caffeine or stressful social events during the onset of a possible manic episode. When tempted to make large purchase, people with bipolar disorder might feel able to alert their spouse, partner or friend in time to discuss the purchase. menendez-blog-img-1There may be possibility of delayed gratification or order processing which needs a second approval at end of a cooling off period before final decision confirmation. To repair damage caused by the excessive spending during manic episodes must deal with loss of earnings as a result of illness, or taking steps to prevent future problems and financial health is top priority. Its important to stay well get treatment and support. 

References and Further Reading

In the red: Debt and mental health

Rethink: About Bipolar Disorder

Preventing Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder information from Mayo Clinic

National Alliance on Mental Illness