SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP

IMG_20171102_114202 A recent study says sleep deprivation  actually causes brain cells to eat parts of brain’s synapses. The study found astrocytes went into overdrive in sleep-deprived mode more brain connections were broken down in chronically sleep-deprived people according to the Sleep Council. On average Britons gets a six-and-a-half hours sleep per night but for most people is not enough. Lots of these studies show that cutting back on sleep, deliberately or otherwise has serious effects on the body. Continuous nights of bad sleep is really messing blood sugar control and causing overeating. It even messes with DNA. A few years ago, Dr Simon Archer help ran experiment and found getting an hour’s less sleep a night affected activities of a wide range of volunteers’ genes in about 500 in all, including the effects associated with the inflammation and diabetes. And a good nights sleep uplifts body, mind, thought processes and moods or outlook on life.A woman after a good night's sleep

As much as wholistic benefits is gained by sound sleep on the other hand other studies shows negative effects on bodies of sleep deprivation. The clear effects of lack of sleep on mental health is shown by Trust Me I am a Doctor team with the sleep scientists at Oxford University by their experiments. They recruited some volunteers who normally sleep soundly fitted them with devices to accurately monitor their sleep. The first 3 nights of study they got a full, undisturbed eight hours. The next 3 nights, had restricted sleep to just four hours. Each day the volunteers filled in the psychological questionnaire designed to reveal any changes in their mood or emotions. So they kept video diaries of experiences of what happened. Sarah Reeve, a doctoral student who ran the experiment was so surprised by how quickly their mood changed. There was increase in anxiety, depression and stress, also increases in paranoia and feelings of mistrust about other people” she said. “Given that this happened only after 3 nights of a sleep deprivation that is alarming. Volunteers found experience unpleasant but one of them Josh claimed to be unaffected. Yet the computer data evidence showed the effects to be different. Although a week may not have as much toll as he thought it would on him, he said. “felt perfectly fine, not happy, sad, stressed, anything.” But tests did on him showed something very different. His positive emotions fell sharply after 2 nights of disturbed sleep, while negative emotions began to rise. Even though he felt OK there were signs he was mentally, beginning to suffer.sleep-deprived-woman-brain

What happens in body without enough sleep?

Poor sleep is linked to a whole range of disorders. A review of 153 studies with total of more than 5 million participants found that the short sleep significantly associated with diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, coronary heart disease and obesity.

how lack of sleep can affect your body: links with diabetes, heart disease, dementia, low mood and cognitive functioning, vaccinations less effective, lower immune response linked to coughs and colds, greater risk of obesity

Studies have shown that depriving people of enough sleep for only a few nights in a row can be enough to put healthy adults into a pre-diabetic state. Moderate levels of sleep deprivation damaged bodies’ ability to control blood glucose levels. And the vaccines are less effective if sleep deprived because sleep deprivation suppresses immune system making people more prone to infection. One study found participants who had fewer than seven hours of sleep were almost 3 times more likely to develop a cold than those who slept for 7 hours or more. People who do not sleep enough produce too much hormone ghrelin, associated with feeling hungry, and not enough of hormone leptin, associated with feeling full, which may contribute to their risk of obesity. There are also links to brain function and even in the long term to dementia. Prof. O’Mara explains that toxic debris builds up in brain during the course of the day and waste is drained from the body during sleep. If not sleeping enough ends up in a mildly concussed state, he says. The impact of sleeping too much though less understood is linked to poorer health including high risk of cognitive decline in older people. Different types of sleep to repair body and brain. After falling asleep body goes through the cycles of “sleep stages” lasting between 60 and 100 minutes. Each stage plays different role in the many processes that happen in our body during sleep.

sleep cycle through the night from awake to drowsy to light sleep, deep sleep, REM sleep and back

The first stage in each cycle is a drowsy, relaxed state between being awake and sleeping breathing slows, muscles relax, the heart rate drops. The second stage is a slightly deeper sleep may feel awake and this means on many nights, may be asleep and not know it. Stage three is deep sleep. It is very hard to wake up during this period because it is when there is the lowest amount of activity in body. Stages two and three together are known as slow wave sleep which is usually dreamless. After deep sleep we go back to stage two for a few minutes, and then enter dream sleep, also called REM (rapid eye movement). As name suggests is when dreaming happens. In a full sleep cycle a person goes through all the stages of sleep from one to three, then back down to two briefly, before entering REM sleep. Later cycles have longer periods of REM, so cutting sleep short has a disproportionately large effect on REM.

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‘Stuck’ In Negative Thoughts

The outcome of this small test reflects results of other much bigger tests done by other university researchers all over the world of sleep deprivation affecting  mental health. The research recruited more than 3,700 university students across the UK who reported problems sleeping and randomized them into two groups. One group received 6 sessions of online CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) for improving their sleep; the other group got standard advice. Ten weeks into the study, the students who received CBT reported a halving in rates of insomnia, accompanied by noticing the significant improvements in scores for depression, anxiety, big reductions in paranoia and hallucinations. This is the largest random controlled trial of psychological treatment for mental health in UK. And it strongly suggests that insomnia really causes mental health problems rather than simply being consequence of them. Daniel Freeman, the professor of the clinical psychology, Oxford University led study and thinks one of the reasons why sleep deprivation is bad for brain is because it encourages the repetitive negative thinking seen. And negative thoughts happen if sleep-deprived and gets stuck in them,” he said. He does not think a few nights of bad sleep means you becoming mentally ill but think it increases the risk.a1bb7cc18e609b3436edc80883d82dcd--interesting-health-facts-interesting-information

One in three people have difficulty in sleeping about 5% to 10% of the general population has insomnia but so many people get on with their lives and they cope with it. But it does raise the risk of a whole range of other mental health difficulties.” The positive side of this research is it implies helping people get a good night’s sleep goes a long way to helping improve a sense of well-being. And Norbert Schwarz, the professor of psychology at University of Southern California, has even put a figure on it. He claims: “Making $60,000 (£48,400) more in annual income has less of an effect on your daily happiness than getting one extra hour of sleep a night.” So, sleep well. In children, their sleep deprivation seems to have a slightly different effects on kids vs. adults. One recent study found the brain changes so half-night of sleep deprivation affects the back regions of the brain instead of the front regions as it does in adults.howthebrainrbrainscan

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Effects of Sleep Deprivation on Brain

Lots of studies reveal damaging effects of sleep deprivation on the brain. Scans from various research shows difference in brain between sound sleep and those of deprived sleep. Biological and social influences converged to create a perfect storm keeps some awake at night. In the pre-industrial times, people woke up at first light and naturally wind down at sunset. Little work could be done in the dark by candlelight but the invention of artificial light altered sleep experiences by turning night to daylight. Lightbulbs, television screens, smartphones confuse bodies’ internal clocks to interrupt the natural sleep cycle. Modern society has been conditioned to think sleeplessness is a badge of honour and productivity. Some people naturally adapted to these changes but for others these changes are against nature so has exacerbated an underlying biological deficiency and created a cycle of sleeplessness.

Neuron Synapse

Fig 2. Neurotransmitter GABA flowing between neurons. 2 natural compounds play an essential role in regulating sleep cycle: GABA and melatonin. As the day wears on absence of light and the body’s internal clock trigger the production of melatonin works with neurotransmitter GABA to help wind down mind and to prepare body for sleep. When the sleep cycle is interrupted by anxious thoughts levels of GABA and melatonin does not reach the threshold necessary to induce sleep. More concerning is how a lack of sleep affects the brain. During a healthy sleep cycle a nervous system functions like a dishwasher cleaning up the waste proteins and toxins produced by active brain cells during the day. But without enough sleep, the body does not have enough time to completely clean up the waste produced by brain. In the same way dishwasher cannot properly clean dishware if turned off in mid-cycle. If feeling groggy after a restless night it is actually experiencing effects of a toxin buildup in brain. If sleeplessness cycle continues for extended period of time, there is a longer lasting detrimental effects on the brain and overall health.
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new clinical study by the Princeton Consumer Research says break cycle without relying on harmful chemicals with addictive properties. Alleviate this problem in a simple way using natural ingredients to promote a healthy sleep. In the last 18 months, researchers in a GMP-certified facility in New York have perfected a formula containing 5 safest and most potent natural compounds for restful sleep. In addition the position of sleep affects mental health and sound sleep. So sleep experts advise people to sleep more on their sides to enable the brain to detox and drain waste products better. People’s personality often can be determined by their sleep patterns and positions leading to their performance in life. Whatever position suits each one depends of personal choice and comfort though health can affect sleep position. In some circumstances environmental noise pollution can intrude into sleep no matter preparations made. In such cases it is wise to consult sleep experts for professional cobsultation advice. 

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The univeristy also developed natural sleep nutrients to help improve sleep. It is advisable to contact a doctor before embarking on any form of natural or a medical aid to sleep. A natural RediNite combines delicate balance of Melatonin, and the L-Tryptophan, Magnolia Bark, Lemon Balm, and Passion Flower to help your mind wind down to promote healthy, sustained sleep. Each of the 5 natural ingredients in the RediNite formula has been clinically proven to boost levels of GABA and melatonin, allowing body to sleep peacefully and naturally to flush waste proteins from brain accumulated while awake. The result is falling into a deep sleep more quickly and waking up feeling refreshed, and ward off morning grogginess. Whether an early bird or a night owl, RediNite helps to establish a healthy sleep routine centered around your specific needs. When you struggle with sleeplessness, you need something to helps fall asleep fast, promotes deep, restful sleep so you wake up refreshed each morning. The Princeton Consumer Research performed a clinical trial to test RediNite’s effectiveness within 30 minutes and over the course of 30 days.

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Click here to view the complete results.

While it is not a miracle cure, clinical results are very encouraging. After one week of use, more than 3 out of 4 study participants fell asleep in 30 minutes of taking RediNite. In addition, over 95% said their sleep quality improved within 30 days. None of participants reported any negative side effects. The results were statistically significant compared with placebo. RediNite is vegan, non-GMO, and gluten-free, and is made in a GMP-certified facility in New York to ensure the highest standards of safety. The entire RediNite compound fits into one vegetable capsule with low-dosage, high-efficiency ingredients helps for the immediate relief. Taken daily, body will safely absorb the RediNite’s natural ingredients and help to achieve deep restful sleep each night. Go to sleep faster and stay asleep longer by trying RediNite tonight. This exclusive offer is not available in stores. Available online through November 4th. Click the link below to claim 30 Day Trial of RediNite.

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God is always watching over you

1. Psalm 121:2-5 My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let you fall. Your guardian will not fall asleep. Indeed, the Guardian of Israel never rests or sleeps. The Lord is your guardian. The Lord is the shade over your right hand.

2. Proverbs 3:24  When you lie down, you will not be afraid. When you rest, your sleep will be peaceful.

3. Psalm 4:7-8 But you have made me happier than they will ever be with all their wine and grain. When I go to bed, I sleep in peace, because, Lord, you keep me safe.

4.  Psalm 3:3-6 But you, Lord, protect me. You bring me honor; you give me hope. I will pray to the Lord, and he will answer me from his holy mountain. I can lie down to rest and know that I will wake up, because the Lord covers and protects me. So I will not be afraid of my enemies, even if thousands of them surround me.

 

Rest Assured

5. Proverbs 1:33 but whoever listens to me willlive in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.

6. Psalm 16:9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure.

7. Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

8. Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Don’t sleep too much

9. Proverbs 19:15 Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless go hungry.

10. Proverbs 20:13 If you love sleep, you will end in poverty. Keep your eyes open, and there will be plenty to eat!

11. Proverbs 26:14-15 Like a door on its hinges, a lazy man turns back and forth on his bed. Lazy people are too lazy to lift the food from their plate to their mouth.

12. Proverbs 6:9-10 How long will you lie there, you lazy person? When will you get up from sleeping? You sleep a little; you take a nap. You fold your hands and lie down to rest.

 

Don’t overwork yourselfeither. Can’t sleep? Check out verses for sleepless nights

13. Ecclesiastes 5:12 The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether they eat little or much, but as for the rich, their abundance permits them no sleep.

14. Psalm 127:2 It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.

 

Examples

15. Jeremiah 31:25-26 I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint. At this I awoke and looked around. My sleep had been pleasant to me.

16. Matthew 9:24 He said, “Go away, for the girl is not dead but sleeping.” And they laughed at him.

17. John 11:11 After saying these things, he said to them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him.”

18. 1 Kings 19:5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.”

19. Matthew 8:24 Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.

20. Matthew 25:5 As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept.

Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep 

Sleep, sleep,
Don’t peep,
Night is coming soon;
Mama tucks her sleepyheads,
Snugly in their cozy beds;
Sleep, sleep,
Don’t peep,
Night is coming soon.
Soon…

Good night,
Sleep tight,
May your dreams be sweet;
Twinkling stars, their watch will keep,
While the angels guard your sleep,
Good night,
Sleep tight,
May your dreams be sweet.
Sweet…

Courtesy Credits:

Rebloged and Updated

Words & Music: W. Otto Miessner Adapted By: Terry Kluytmans © 2002

Trust Me I’m a Doctor – Mental Health Special on BBC2 at 21:00 GMT Wednesday 1 November.

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OBSESSIVE SEX PARANOIA

ea7684f55c211010a61930ebddaf297a--health-guru-health-and-wellnessGalatians 5:24 in Bible says those who belong to Christ Jesus must crucify flesh with its passions and desires not to see the world only through sexual lenses. A paranoid personality disorder (PPD) is a mental disorder characterized by fear and situation of recurrent suspicion yet without justification, regarding sexual fidelity of spouse or sexual interaction of friends. This behaviour ruins that a family and damages relationships as the person is hyperalert constantly listening and looking for signs to convince them of obsessive thoughts. Normal sex organ for obsessive paranoia is used for abuse since sex sells society advertises it with products. It is a nightmare for paranoia as it triggers sex as bad memory they are always uptight and angry. With low self-esteem feel worthless so is pushing buttons to hurt people since they cannot have peace or be happy. Advertised sex images causes people to buy products so cars are advertised by seminaked blond women makes passion flow to purchase car advertised using sexual innuendos leading people to buy product. paranoidlargeWhether subtle sophistication, left to imagination or blatant in face sexual approach adverts in society saturate the mind by their endless images on the TV drama, conditions minds to think sexual thoughts. Longterm impact is world is viewed from such sexual perspectives. Freud said that mothers breastfeeding “have sexual intimacy” connotation with their children in his opinion causing oedipus complex. Such theories lead to these modern attitudes towards mothers for not being allowed to breastfeed in public. Breasts are seen as the object of sexual gratification than source of food. Body organ for passing urine is used more that way than used for having sex yet more associated with sex and birth canal in same manner is treated as exclusively a sexual organ. So much negative attitude is projected onto private parts causing terrified mothers not to and touch clean children’s private part. “Private” is exacerbated to include even wiping poo off the organ. Children are victimized by their parent’s memory triggered by sexual abuse so nurseries are under the pressure to clean without making any form of contact with child’s sexual organs. When the special needs under-developed children are not toilet trained yet aware of the names of body parts, they think that a normal cleaning process or dressing them means being “touched.” Reinforces words in the mind of a child under pressure and stressed to ensure they are never “touched” and “abused” as parents were molested in their childhood. This highlights misuse of normal function of organs is turned into a fearful weapon looking out for ‘predators’ on prowl to ‘defile’ children. b605d756fed629476fa88ad3260f7ad6--boderline-personality-disorder-borderline-personality-disorder-symptomsThe news is full of real life stories that creates are sad but the domino counter effect panic atmosphere of suspicion is damaging children. Genuine carers who do a great job are insulted that they are looking for sexual gratification in child while doing normal duty caring for the wet or soiled children. It’s inconceivable to integrity and reputation of genuine carer to stoop low trying to taint them with same brush of their past abuser. It is despicable to project the vile thoughts of guilty conscience as participants onto innocent children due to obsessive fear and paranoia of repeating history. And many innocent people have been hurt and lost valuable friends for support as a result of accusations. It is necessary to train children to have awareness of use of body parts yet it is also important to not overburden them with sexual use of organs. There are billions not interested in sex who do not live their lives only by sexual thoughts and intimate actions.IMG_20171025_154659PERSONALITY_parentingCompulsive behaviour leads to the low affection and harsh treatment thought wrongly as discipline. The majority of case studies show an inbred abuse sadly perpetrators others unaware of. Despite vulgar sexual language seen as normal jokes some people do not feel or want a sexual attraction experience. Rapidly growing website sprawling online hub of AVEN online community asexuals began to coalesce, and with the website came the journalists and academics curious about similar people. Research suggests you might know some asexual people, even if you don’t realise it. It’s estimated around 1percent of the UK population is asexual, even if they don’t define themselves as such. The criteria is never feeling a sexual attraction to anyone at all. A sociologist based at the University of Warwick first conducted research in asexuality in 2009. Finding the work fascinating has been exploring issues related to asexuality ever since. This research was initially concerned with asexual identity, asking how someone might come to identify as asexual, but I soon realised that we can’t understand why the identity “asexual'” has emerged without looking at broader cultural attitudes relating to asexuality identity. Conducted research study into thoughts and feelings of asexuals was surprised how similar the experiences were of the roughly 200 people who took part. They were all different in so many ways, but were united in having been made to feel there was something fundamentally wrong with them because they didn’t experience sexual attraction. They felt “weird” “broken” “fucked up” phrases came up time and time again. So people who genuinely cared about thought it was them that made them feel that way for not wanting sex. Some parents laughed at those who told them was asexual and still, to this day, don’t seem to believe it.IMG_20171025_154444mental-illness-paranoia-ocd-9-728In the end time, 144,000 virgins sealed by God in Israel are men Chosen from 12 tribes who will not experience sex as party of their role in life. Non perverted in mind permeating other minds with fear and negative thoughts of natural body for urine associated as sex object onto the next generations. Obsessives turn pure good thoughts into suspicious obsessive paranoia fearing sexual abuse of innocent people. Sometimes directed to hurt people who truly care about them attacking them of sleeping with partner etc. because as a man thinks so is he. So bad they do not accept responsibility to seek therapy to deal with guilty anger root of defilement plaguing them. Most friends abandoned such people constantly being accused of intimacy with their man. Or accused of ulterior motives for supporting them is draining emotionally so left them. Their toxic controlling behaviour intimidates and frightens people. Their intolerance for frustration makes slaves out of the people who help them. Their behaviour towards children is so appalling jealous of own children’s happiness. Personality disorders are worse if both partners are people with personlity disorders. BIG_5_PDs_Agreeableness

Hypersexualization oversexualisation of young children plants seeds of their sexualization by early sexualization or precocious sexualizisation. Normal hugs for oxytocin or riding horses on back of children is depicted or treated as sexual objects of interaction. An uptight family is explosive so that the healthy normal nonsexual playing body contact seen is frowned upon for fear it may proceed into sexuality inappropriate action. This is imposed through media, marketing or products directed at them encouraging them to think of adult sexual ways. It is necessary to protect young children by awareness, sexy poses, girls dressing up and dancing porn-style to favourite pop star’s adult lyrics. So obsessive paranoia hypersexualization from TV web trigger constant fear being projected onto the innocent people. Hypersexualisation  by the widespread use of Internet, phones and other communication devices make it commonplace. It affects those who already have inclination to be obsessed with sexual thoughts. The irony is often the accuser are the one having sex and having children conditioned but turn around to point accusing fingers at the ones leading their lives with dignity. It is important to seek anger management, talking therapy for 5 years to clear head of the negative effects of bad memories. And keep a journal to write down such thoughts and learn how to deal with the thoughts to overcome them long-term.  

Therapy Needs to Address

Criticism. Stop criticism of partner and others habitually for you are attacking their personality. Over time, this breeds resentment, stop constantly criticising others as it becomes a huge problem. It is not surprising everyone steers clear after a while of taking so much nose up snobbery and derogatory rudeness. No one is perfect in life so stop harassing people with your insecurities and fears projected on them needlessly. Deal with your inner negative thoughts and stop blaming everyone and everything on those who genuinely cares about you.

Contempt. This is makes it impossible to please you so recognise if consistently looking down on partner, is dismissive, constantly rolling eyes at what the other says, mocking them, sarcastic, sneering at partner and others, this means seeing them as “less than.” Contempt closely follows loss of respect so learn the value of mutual respect not be always right.

Defensiveness and Anger If you can’t talk to one another because one or both of you are defensive and angry this is a problem because you won’t be listening to another’s point of view so over time, switch off. Communication is the key to working on relationship problems and without that you cannot get anywhere. Defensiveness leads to “blame” where each person is lashing out in defence: “You did this,” “Yes, but you did that” so indignant everything is a battle. You’re so busy defending yourself nothing gets resolved. Stop attacking people and get a correct perspective on your life. Give each other space and time to talk, listen to sort things out. Life is not a cul-de-sac only about you so learn to give and take respect with consideration for others. 

Cold Shoulder Take stock to think and reflect on your actions retreat to clear head, talk not just block other person. It is good to hear what is being said, either not afraid to deal directly and honestly with people. The person given the cold shoulder trying to talk to the other often is ignored because feels always right. So may try to trigger a row to get the other to react and talk. It results in an awful atmosphere and can eventually make the person being attacked afraid to have any sort of discussion because they are afraid of the silent treatment. This shuts down communication or reconciliation. In extreme cases medical intervention is required if issues are associated with post partum psychosis or any clinical depression. Persistent anger reacting against others has underlying deeper issues of anger projected on others must be dealt in long-term counselling.

 

A DEVOTED DAD SAVES SON

A father’s love and devotion for his son paid off extending to daring rummage to save lives against all odds brought tears to my eyes this morning as a good read for all to learn a life lesson. God is Faithful in most critical moments when all hope is lost Jesus delivers children as the best piece of article encouraging parents to be there for their children in time of need. In the country of Armenia in 1988, Samuel and Danielle sent their young son Armand to school. Samuel squatted before his son and looked him in the eye. “Have a good day at school, and remember, no matter what, I’ll always be there for you.” They hugged and the boy ran off to school. Hours later, a powerful earthquake rocked the area. In the midst of the pandemonium, Samuel and Danielle tried to discover what happened to their son but they couldn’t get any information. The radio announced that there were thousands of casualties. Samuel then grabbed his coat and headed for the schoolyard. When he reached the area, what he saw brought tears to his eyes. Armand’s school was a pile of debris. And parents were standing around crying. Samuel found place where Armand’s classroom used to be and began pulling a broken beam off the pile of rubble. He grabbed a rock and put it to the side, grabbed another. One of the parents looking on asked, “What are you doing?” “Digging for my son,” Samuel answered. The man then said, “You’re just going to make things worse! The building is unstable,” and tried to pull Samuel away from his work. Samuel just kept working. TERREMOTO DE ARMENIA- 7-12-1988Time wore on, one by one other parents left. Then a worker tried to pull Samuel away from the rubble. Samuel looked at him and said, “Won’t you help me?” The worker left and Samuel kept digging. All through the night and into the next day, Samuel continued digging. The parents placed flowers and pictures of their children on the ruins. But, Samuel just kept working. He picked up a beam and pushed it out of the way then heard a faint cry. “Help! Help!” Samuel listened but didn’t hear anything again. Then he heard a muffled voice, “Papa?” Samuel began to dig furiously. Finally he could see his son. “Come on out, son!” he said with relief. “No,” Armand said. “Let the other kids come out first, I know you’ll get me.” Child after child emerged until, finally, little Armand appeared. Samuel took him in his arms and Armand said, “I told the kids not to worry because you told me that you’d always be there for me!” Fourteen children were saved that day because one father was faithful. So faithful is God Almighty to us! Whether trapped by fallen debris or ensnared by life’s hardships and struggles, we are never cut off from God’s faithfulness. HE is true to His character, reliable and trustworthy and always counted on. So keep trusting God to the end, read the Bible and encourage someone. Matthew 18:1-4 says, the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like a child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. A child literally believes what is told so expects exact performance of promises. In this case the child knew his was there for him so reassures his friends that his will surely come for them. That promise kept their hope alive and kept them to hold on until they were rescued. In the same way, adults must trust God believe in Jesus so have faith in God who Keeps His Promises so cannot fail. maxresdefaultHindrances like earthquakes against people try to distract and stop God’s blessings but God defeats the opposer the devil. This is why it important to understand how the attacks of the devil tries to sabotage blessings and miracles from God. Earthquakes often as natural phenomenon process of changes in the tectonic plates of earth cause damage. So issue is man-made structure concrete not properly reinforced by shoddy work of construction. A loving human father defied concrete blocks to seek his son buried in the ruins. That bonding trust between father and son assured both it is well even in adversity. It pays off to allow a father to be part of a child’s life to interact playfully and to involved in disciplining children. Get on the floor to play with your children as playing with them does not diminish you as a parent. You enter their world and let your hair down for at least 1 hour everyday set a time aside in your diary, tell partners at work in board meetings unavailable to attend some projects. Remember they have only one childhood so embrace the precious years to create good memories for the future. Negotiate into contracts value of quality time with your family. A good ethical company provides for the children of their staff, time off for school runs, distance and location of job near as much as possible for couples to raise their children. Job markets cannot force people to abandon family unless a dangerously risky job so unsuitable that can children at risk. Many accomplish and achieve great things in the world so renowned but emotionally lost children. Human value is more precious and also more priceless than all material assets so do not be embarrassed to play with your children. IMG-20170818-WA0000Help children set up toys, play football, play basketball, tennis, go walking, run, swim with them to get fit yourself. The parent connected emotionally with the children gain financial security and also automatically takes care of emotional stability at a deeper level relationship. A child depleted from parental attention craves attention in the wrong places. A family bonding lasts into future years so ensure attachment making the children avoid vulnerable online predators. The child connected to parents will share an onset secret safely trusting parents to help them stop any ongoing threats of bullying and building their confidence. Expensive items provided in life is good enough but does not always meet their emotional needs. If bread winner, the house husband father can partake in the story reading too. It can be hard for mothers bearing children to let go for a father to join in to take over childcare duties and prefer the father to mother. Always treasure and loves enjoying the moments at the end of day by curling up with children to read bedtime story, to feel chaos of the day often slowly slip away. One night recently as snuggled up to a middle son Zevi, six with a copy of Charlie and Chocolate Factory in hand, a mother was told ‘wants Daddy today,’ sentiment again echoed by four-year-old daughter, Zeabella and son Rafael, who’s nine. A BBC newsreader reading for a living, said it was insulting enough to be elbowed out of responsibility that husband Phil too usually shared. IMG3297_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqzoK5uT2wTvu30RJXoHqq-ZAXHT4Ea86dTrIQm8CiHy8What really struck core was they all wanted Daddy to put them to bed, too. While on one hand high-fiving myself for being granted early dismissal from parenting duties, deep down felt hurt. This came days after holidays during which preferring Daddy became the recurring theme. It began in the taxi to the airport with three shouts of, ‘I want to sit next to Daddy.’ Then in departure lounge it was, ‘Daddy, sit next to me.’ Boarding the plane, they were pushing each other out of the way to grab the seat next to Phil, and for much of the week it was, ‘Daddy, hold my hand,’ and, ‘Daddy, swim with me.’ As they clambered all over him in the pool it began to really niggle. Spending time with him is more of a novelty working shifts allows me to be far more present but the sound of them shrieking and giggling started to grate. Why didn’t they want me? I had to bite my lip not to blurt out, ‘Without me you wouldn’t be on this holiday! Without me you wouldn’t have sun cream, goggles, books, iPads, clothes, sandals. Without me you might not even eat.’ Well, not the right meal at the right time of day, anyway. Perhaps, thats part of the problem as issuer of orders, the keeper of the diary, organiser, the taxi service familiarity breeds contempt for mother not fun like the nursery school. Mother has no time to mess about with them at bedtime or play games or just hang out. And become the consolation prize, the parent a child reluctantly sits next to if that is the only option left. It feels petty to be upsetting so mentioned it to Phil who certainly thought its oversensitive although admits can see it’s there. So try to shrug it off. After all the years telling kids not to be jealous of each other and constantly on the lookout for who gets more treats, time, attention or love than the others. The two boys often accused favouring of youngest child and only girl. Recently, Rafael asked why always talks to girl in a softer voice, ‘because you’re nine and she’s four as previously done. So now makes conscious effort to speak to them all in the same tone. In some ways blame father for if the child prefers him. Endless opportunities to gain affection by allowing more time on the iPad, more lenient bedtimes, sweets but never be short-sighted in parenting skills for the sake of earning popularity points. And do not create competition in marriage based on jealousy for love of your children either by father, family or grandparents. IMG_3448_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqKiXZQx93oSlqShjvKjhsvQeQxwNu9mZ1LooiSTYVBw4Perhaps Phil lets them get away with more than giving nagging more quickly, but on the whole we are on the same page and present a united front. In some ways I do not even blame them for preferring him he is always ready with a joke and more patience than the mother. So, may feel little pang of envy now and then focus more on the times children want and need mother often if feeling physically or emotionally hurt so make the most of freetime. If in summer holidays they fight over Dad then enjoy relaxing with headphones on and read your favourite books. Do not restrict or intimidate child to cut off a relationship with mother because you feel jealous. It is essential on other hand some dad’s struggle to bond and interact with their children like the father shared online in true story. Terrence Mentor a blogger who goes by screen name AfroDaddy,   recently publicly opens up on personal struggles of being dad and relationship with his younger son, who seems to be indifferent towards him.

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AfroDaddy hopes by sharing his story other parents all over the world will understand they do not need to keep beating themselves up but should be open and honest to themselves and their partners. Their first son was adopted so it was easier for him and his wife to take turns to feed and care for the child. This made it easy for him to have a bond with his adopted child and AfroDaddy said however, his second son was a lot different. Upon birth, his second son already had an intrinsic connection with his mom. That bond outlasted his newborn stage and continued on until he was a toddler. That made it difficult for him. On his facebook page, he wrote that “It is quite a thing to be a dad who can’t comfort his child, who is constantly told ‘No, I go to mommy,’ who never seems to have a real, relational moment with his son.” He also admitted that he was jealous and admitted that it was a bit childish. I know its silly and childish but jealousy was real and disheartening Mentor said. AfroDaddy said all that changed when his younger son started warming up to him. He said over the past few months, his younger son would tend to choose him over his wife, which made him somehow feel happy. “This child, who would cry when I so much as looked his way, came to me for comfort and calm. Not going to lie I got a little teary eyed,” Mentor said.dad

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According to an expert family therapist, Leslie Seppinni: “it’s not automatic that you’re going to bond with your child. Usually it does take a little while.”You see some men do not understand the sacrifice and self denial involved carrying pregnancy 9 months, going through labour worst pain on earth, in pain breastfeeding after birth, the body bloated, and the man is envious and jealous of children being nurtured as their parents did for them. They put all their anger, bitterness, frustrations on for ” ruining ” their happiness. So put anger on innocent children by breaking their toys in front of them, bashing wall knocking holes in walls, kicking the dog, thrashing premises in temper tantrums. The children copy such behaviours for some men do not understand sacrifice, selfdenial so envious jealous of children put their anger, bitterness, frustrations on children so accusing them of ruining their happiness. Mother wisely told me just because man claims to love woman does not mean he includes the children. Some neglect the children because they lacked the natural automatic soul bond that ties a child to parents. Preoccupied with envy and jealousy of their children seeth with hatred, venom vitriol instead of giving them real lve and attention child deserves from them. Quite frankly some are tall children themselves so not really have a frontal cortex so not fully understanding parenthood. The stories remind us of God’s LOVE, Favour upon our lives in Jesus Name by forgiving us as a LOVING father when even unable to appreciate God’s Love for mankind. And most women need courage to leave the child in a safe father’s good hands. Get a support, help needed, required training humbly than trying in vain to change a partner. Do not get me wrong billions of great and wonderful fathers and responsible are men out there yet it is the stupid ones that rock my feathers.dad

At the same time as transition happens and the father eventually bonds with a child, the mother now feels rejected and abandoned after doing all the hardwork alone. These stories reveal the modern trends of lack of daily extended family support putting burden on the couples to raise children alone most of the time. A mother can feel jealous too if a child prefers the father over mother at times. Children grow up very fast and move on with their lives. So create the precious memories for the moment to recall their childhood of good times. At the end of a it all, the couple have to live with each other when the children flow the nest. Continue to build up own relationship first and teach the children to respect both parents. Team work betwern the couple establishes firm rules, discipline and work ethics children trained apply in their own lives and marriages later. Parents must understand sacrifices and be mature to be there for the children emotionally instead of treating them as opponents in a competition. Often many children hurt, suffer or lost lives due to a parent’s immature jealousy behaviour and actions impacting their lives into adulthood. Some cultures with extended family support daily have clear roles of childcare rules so this issues may seem strange to them to read about. However, these real life issues exist and children must be taught from early years love for family, tolerance and the understanding of relationship roles, needs of babies and todflers, expectant mothers moods, supporting each other, helping around the home by every member of family, healthy eating, sound sleep, work, rest ethics and family principles, discipline, interaction and socialising skills in the community.  Where both parents have extreme upbringing viewpoints there is need to create hybrid middle ground of compromise for their peace of mind and understanding. No perfect family exists on earth, do the best you can and leave the ‘rest’ of family in the HANDS of God.

BEST AGE TO START FAMILY

DIqlGRVUwAASjVlStarting a family can be tricky business so you need to know when the time is right and if your partner is ready, and whether you can cope. Not all families are planned but more often than not, parents have given some thought to it. The best age to become a mother or dad is often a decision many have to make at some point in their lives. Now a new research by scientists point to ideal age 35 years. Thanks to science and media, according to Mirror Newspaper, signs, pressure and constant discourse about fertility seem to point to “sooner rather than later time as previously thought. A new research discovered the benefits of motherhood contrary the conventional wisdom. This new study conducted at the University of Southern California found out having a baby after age 35 improves mental abilities of the mother. _97789987_serenawilliamsSerena Williams played tennis during pregnancy and won with baby Alexis Jr. A sound preparation towards family life helps both parents to nurture the child better. The Guinness Book of Records the new mothers existing beyond age 60 as the geriatric mothers. Evidence of having baby after 35 years can increase life expectancy as research shows. This research of 830 postmenopausal women did several tests performed as part of research revealing participants tested on planning, visual perception, verbal memory, concentration and attention performed better. Women who had a first baby after 24 performed better on the mental acuity tests, problem solving, and verbal skills compared to mothers between the ages of 15 and 24. Mothers who had last baby after 35 had the better verbal memory and cognition results. Their increased mental clarity is thought to be related to oestrogen surge and progesterone in pregnancy. And the hormones are believed to improve their brain chemistry and functions if their pregnancy occurred later. Whether or not this informs a woman’s decision to have a child is up to them and should always consult your doctor about any worries but it’s still refreshing to hear having a baby at age 35 or onwards is not all bad news. So there is hope for many single women worried about their body clock. Since frontal cortex brain does not form before age 25 on average it makes sense to grow up first before trying to have a child. Often the world is full of children having children and struggling with shock and reality of caring for children and the pressures of motherhood in general. A 35 year old matured and experienced woman can perhaps handle pressures of sleepless nights better than 15 year old. Research confirms need to grow up first before taking on a responsibility requiring life commitment of financial burdens of taking care of children. Support is also necessary whether one has the children earlier or later in life. Most men really do not fully mature until about 45 years so worth noting that impacts their life. A family life requires hardwork, quality time and lifelong commitment so a child is for life no matter the age of parents.

CHILDREN ARE NOT DOLLS

vlfdcToday’s news report is full of children harmed or killed by many tragic accidents purposefully orchestrated or unintended by someone seething due to jealousy of affection given the children. Such people forget infant’s life requires sacrifices of parents, loved ones, carers who endure to ensure children thrive in life. Their parents went without basic necessities in life, food so they survived. After growing up they feel reluctant to do the same for their own children or step children. There are many blended families doing a great job looking after children and fantastic at it. They deserve recognition and congratulations though not seeking praise for excellent job done daily. Against the backdrop of great parenting is trend of children seen and treated as inconvenient intrusion into ‘perfect happiness’ of dysfunctional families. 980d9a8dac0ead3b5cb8e562bc98d80bSuch people, playing superficial happy family fantasize about having children to ‘seal their love’ but discover shock of changes to their relationship after birth of children. This adds on to stress of an already disorganized family affected at times by influence of drugs or computer games. Such parents blame each other or shift the responsibility of caring and discipline styles, cause more stress and infighting. Meanwhile the children internalize effects of chaos caused by immature people in toxic relationships unfit to raise children. Resentful with regret of their decision to have children cannot opt out. Children caught up in the middle of strife endure life worse at times due to alcohol or selfish actions of parents vying for affection at the cost of children’s lives. Some children cry for hours and given calpol for headaches but parents offended if the child laughs. It seems the parents feel satisfied when the child cries but tells child off if seen as happy and cheerful. Modern living isolates couple further without support network required for respite care of children to give the parents a break. The parent not from poor background, well-brought up can be victim of success if over indulged without consideration for others or own children and family. May grow up with sense of entitlement so receive attention without giving back to others. Demand more attention as grown up in charge of own family. Competes with children for attention so never emotionally secure.wayne-dyer_children-erichuber-comSurprisingly, such parents lack awareness or previous experience of babysitting children 24/7. Totally unprepared  for childcare needs of children they bear or take care of. In the past, schools designed practical living skills of housekeeping, cooking, sewing, cleaning, ironing, childcare as part of curriculum in education. So the young people were trained in hands on real life practical experience life skills to equip them for family life. In addition, extended family in the vicinity living together enhance family experiences of children. Despite family hardships or lack of material trappings of modern living children are nurtured to live in a healthy way. Issues of paedophiles or abuse may exist but at least there was someone in the family who children genuinely rely on in time of emotional need for their support. The attitude of some parents is they think they ‘own’ their children so cause pain to child. And those helping giving real happiness to their children viewed as encroaching, undermining, overriding, imposing threat to them. Additionally, children without FRONTAL CORTEX do not wilfully intend to cause an offence deliberately to hurt parents. Children’s BRAIN NOT FULLY grown or developed do not fully UNDERSTAND adult world.quote-Charlotte-Davis-Kasl-a-life-long-blessing-for-children-is-to-21784Creating good and happy memories in children is treasured in the heart for life of the children. Mimicking adults seems they understand issues but incapable of the maturity of adults. This is the reason why God entrusts the children into the safe adult hands as parents or stewards to look after them. Adult is REPONSIBLE to ensure child’s needs are met, well-fed healthy foods, trained to make sense of environment, given a spatial awareness to relate to others in interactive ways to build up confidence. A child cannot be blamed or accused of being responsible for coming into world to ruin parent’s life. If adult not ready to sacrifice their life at least 30 years to raise children, use protection to prevent conception. Children are for life and not only for Christmas displays. Some think children will enhance them by having them for wrong reasons. A fractured, disjointed society today focus on external material things at the expense of healthy organic nurturing safe atmosphere surrounded by family and friends. Yet nature and nurture are both vital components to accomplish a balanced upbringing of children’s lives. The shift of emphasis on gadgets, technology, high-tech and high strung high-maintenance intense stress, pressure and atmosphere is not really conducive for children. Attention on the external shoe costs and designer labels to wear and expensive clothes or toys above emotional needs of the children. Damage or loss of items becomes bone of contention in anger beats the child to pulp and causing tragic death. The other children are killed by computer gamers who feel distracted from their addictive games by the children requiring nappy change or food. Again tensions of credit crunch play role in frustrating parents stuck with children without proper jobs. Recent rate of fatalities of the children’s death toll is needlessly rising.5c50ba8d0995fc2295ff172d6eccfa6fUnacceptable levels further exasperated by children having children without the FRONTAL CORTEX BRAIN themselves to UNDERSTAND risk and consequences of their actions on delicate tender body of babies and children. Dangerous attacks of children by jealous lovers or parents fester without dealing with the build up of uncalled for anger towards innocent children. Unfortunately some children become victims destroyed by the naive immature jealous partner who in turn destroys own lives in the process. It is sad the family is ruined by adults who wants to raise children as little soldiers. They DO NOT ALLOW CHILDREN TO BE THE HAPPY LITTLE CHILDREN HAVING FUN, LAUGHING, PLAYING WITHOUT A CARE in the world. It is a right of every child to be allowed a proper discipline and corrected in a safe manner within their age range meaningful to the child. A child cannot be treated as a grown up adult in terms of relating deep thoughts to a child. Of course precocious children display maturity, genius beyond some adults but is exception than the norm. God ordained mothers to carry babies as first natural teachers of children so more tolerant and patient than some men. Going against nature to demand mothers abandon children to wo/men INCAPABLE of raising their children contributes to damage of children. Some parents feel ashamed and embarrassed to EXPRESS dark emotions or thoughts to others to get help to deal with their own childhood issues projected on that innocent child. Anger is major cause of such parents who vent on the innocent children bearing brunt of frustrations in their life. Such parents act like if they did not have a happy childhood then the child cannot have one. Of course they cannot give what they do not have so get help to allow children to enjoy their innocent years. Build up good memory and stop tyrants scarring children for life to damage them. A lot of children of this generation have a lot of superficial material needs met but hurting deeply by the lack of proper attention required. Oxytocin hormone CALMS children by hugging the child so gains parental love much more priceless than a temporary material joy happiness. Oxytocin is very necessary for the child’s development so healthy contact of a child is essential. Issue of paedophiles is ruining genuine affection for children treated as robot machines. Hugging the child is viewed with suspicion so many steer clear from it but do not hesitate to inflict pain on same child in moment of madness due to anger. A child is for life so before you have the child think twice of long-term time sacrifices of not going to parties, pubs, discos, travelling alone, sleepless nights for feeding or nappy changes. Get help from trusted family members, and friends, loved ones or good neighbours. children-are-not-dolls-they-are-not-toys-to-dress-up-and-show-off-theyre-real-people--95047Talk to GP to arrange talking therapy or with people in parent’s and child groups to learn how to cope better, ask friends to support you. Do not dump anger or rage on your innocent loving children. Children cannot express their internal damage to organs from assaults by the adults. Modern dolls have a computer link to reveal manhandling by a person entrusted with the doll. Unfortunately children do not have such mechanisms displaying internal bleeding by bashing against walls, shaking babies, fractures broken bone, internal bleeding swelling go unnoticed until final straw ends in a fatality. Yet millions desperately want children but cannot have them due to many reasons. So count your blessings, invest TIME to train child so they grow up and not depart from it. Routine is essential to raising children so set up a flexible dynamic time schedule for the children. Time to sleep and wake up is necessary for toddlers for brain growth and development. Lunch at 12 noon and naps between 1pm to 3 pm for toddlers. The adults quickly prepares supper and dry laundry, clean up ready for children to wake up. Children play, eat at 5-6pm, bath at 7p.m ready for bed after reading at 8 pm. Adults between 8:30pm till 12 midnight have enough hours to wind down, date in home, set up romantic meal, eat, talk, watch TV, play computer games, get someone trusted and reliable to watch children to go to cinema, meal, and sleep by 1 am latest. A disciplined routine helps children to settle down better. It is good to maintain the routine even during holidays because it is harder to get back established routine after mixed messages confuse children. Children always remember those who genuinely love and care for them. And discuss with partner if you feel left out or displaced by children at appropriate time. Set up routine for both to continue to date, be in love after marriage and children. Do not go on an autopilot identifying with one child and pitching against each other as opposing teams. Children grow so fast you can do anything in your life after they fly the nest. It is never too late to learn to take up any unfinished business later after children come along into your life. You can relearn and adapt to use new skills online for web jobs, create blog, give hope to others, encourage and support others in similar situations. For God Sake never blame children for ruining your life or future because you are the ones who chose not to use the appropriate contraception. Even if child unexpected accept, love child unconditionally. Use playful interaction like Sound of Music film to help appreciate the children and they remember you when you are old. Remember you are accountable to God WHO records in BOOK of life treatment of children’s lives.