Great life lessons learnt help us through mace of living in this imperfect world.
*MAKE RIGHT LONGTERM CHOICES*
When younger we make various choices without the future in mind. Sometimes those choices bite in our mid-life. These are some of the things one might regret.
1. *Marrying the wrong person*
When you’re young, check your motives for wanting to marry. Do not marry to copy your peers, for social standing, out of pressure. Ensure you marry for love and companionship, marry the right person, marry your best friend. For if you marry the wrong person or for the wrong reasons, you will have to put up with person the rest of your life. Things might get worse between you two; then depression, physical abuse, affairs, pain, shame, court cases, bitterness defines mid-life years all because you chose the wrong one. Things will get worse when children are involved. Make the right choice of a spouse when you are young.
2. *The opportunities you did not seize*
When you are younger many doors will open, you will get many chances. Many young people let these opportunities go because of fear, laziness, or pride; yet well younger and with more energy is the best time to start a venture and a name for yourself. Some think the opportunities are too big for them. Take advantage of them or one day when you’re older you will want to go back and grab those missed chances.
3. *Do not Burn Bridges*
The younger care little for relationships, what most think about is getting money and moving up ladder of success at all cost. Many use and trample on people to progress, take relationships for granted, messing bonds, sleeping with people for personal gain. These bad actions does catch up with ahead. And realizes how empty life is without love or friends. If you have success but has no one around you or trusts you it’s a lonely life.
4. *The child terminatef*
A young lady if pregnant or scared may take termination option rather quickly thinking in the moment. But when you are much older, you will look back and wish you kept that baby. When you are rich and successful you may wish that child you gave up would be around to enjoy fruits of your hard work. Being a single mother doesn’t mean you can’t make it in life or can’t marry in future.
5. *The child rejected*
Young man, you impregnated a woman, she told you she’s pregnant with your child. You rejected her and baby and ran. Years later you’re 50 something, you will wish you were responsible, you will wish you manned up and became a father to that child. You will see child excel and become an adult but will have no claim to the grown up child rejected from the beginning. You regret being a Dead Beat Dad by choice.
6. *The marriage destroyed*
So you get married to your good fiance; the first months in marriage were good but shortly after, with your money and charm, you started having affairs. You became unfaithful. Spouse begged you to stop, your children started hurting, your marriage was collapsing. One day when you are older, it will hit you how foolish you were to destroy the good marriage you had began to build for temporary thrills in affairs that did you no good. You will realize the damage you caused to your children and spouse.
7. *The God disowned*
When you are much older you become wiser, God becomes more real as you see life in a more meaningful way. But don’t wait to get older to start enjoying a relationship with God. Know God when you are young, build your future with God. Don’t be a young rebel who runs back to God when age catches up.
8. *The body messed up*
You have only one body to live with all your life. The cigarettes, the alcohol you are abusing, the drugs you are taking, the unhealthy food you’re consuming; all that will destroy you slowly. When you are 50 and lifestyle diseases catch up with you, you will wish you took care of your body when younger, that you exercised more; but now the damage is done.
9. *The time wasted*
The time you are wasting when younger in worry, wrong relationships, laziness, being a couch potato, giving excuses and pursuing meaningless things; you will never get it back.
10. *The dreams talents shelved*
Are you talented when young; are there things you love to do and you are good at them? Nurture those talents, exploit them, don’t give up if you encounter set backs, don’t give up on your dreams. If you give up, when you’re older you will look at peers who do what they love and made it and think to self, “That could be me.” Pursue a career, study course you love. Don’t waste years of your life in a field that doesn’t fulfill you.
11 *The name defamed*
When older, a legacy is very important, the value of a name is crucial. You will ask yourself what reputation are you leaving behind? Your legacy is a sum total of your actions since youthful days. The written biography of how we live life everyday counts. When you look back your path and see the mud threw at the name, the shame you attracted and the little value you have added to the world; you will regret.
12. *The wealth thrown away*
Are you riding on good money during your productive years? Earning good money? Don’t throw away that money in clubs, reckless living and wasteful shopping. Invest with money, widen your revenue stream, make that money work for you and keep it safe to take care of you in your older years. Leave an inheritance for your loved ones so will never say “I wish I knew better”
13. *The good love that got away*
Is there that great person in your life loving you good? Don’t push that person away, or else that person will walk out your life and you will never ever find someone incredible and who connects with you all your life. It will torment you to grow older with thoughts of “What if I was still with that person?”
14 *The parents you despised*
When younger, easy to show contempt to parents thinking what do parent’s know? They are old-fashioned, shady and small -minded. But parents are still your parents whether you agree with them or not, whatever their style. Don’t let your parent die separated from you, reconcile and make up. When you get older, you will realize why your parents wanted to be close to you. The older you get, the more you see the priceless value of life. Thanks for reading, quietly send it sharing the journey of life. Appreciate and realize the value of a sister/brother. Check out how it feels for someone who doesn’t have siblings. Realize the value of the past ten years by asking a newly divorced couple how they survived. And realize value of next four years if still in education and graduate with excellence. And realize value of how one year runs so fast. Ask the student who failed final exam how they used their time. Realize value of nine months of pregnancy and ask the mother who gave birth to baby stillborn. And realize the value of one month after the mother has given birth to a premature baby in incubator. Has to wait many months to embrace child. Realize the value of one week for editor of the weekly newspaper. Thousands or millions of copies produced. And realize the value of one minute of a person who missed the train, bus or plane. Realize a value of one second of a person who has survived an accident. Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. Treasure it even more and share it with someone special. Realize valued friends or family members enhance and enrich your love. Bring blessings to everyone you know and Remember, Hold on tight to the ones you love! Have a great week, month, years days, life, ahead. ❤🌹🌹😊
God’s incredible favour, honour and the privilege for The Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s inspiring journey of love, hope and family since engagement photos, all the way through to the official wedding on Saturday sums up Christianity. The royal wedding is compared to marriage of Lamb of God. Clement Ngissah wrote “Meghan Markle’s marriage to Prince Harry and who she becomes” to explain the believer’s important connection to Jesus always and favour of imputation of His righteousness attained thereby. Some of the lessons learnt from Meghan Markle’s lifestory is similar to how Jesus imputes His righteousness on believers. To qualify to enter His Eternal Kingdom Christian believers accepts Jesus’ Love proposal as the Bridegroom to become born again in similar fashion, Meghan Markle takes Prince Harry’s royal status so whenever with him all blood royalty below the Prince’s rank and status bow and curtsy to her although she is not a royal by blood or Princess Meghan. YeShe was not British or Royal by birth. She is an American. Her parents got divorced when she was six years old. Her father is Caucasian and her mother an African-American. She is half black and half white. She is a divorcee. She married her first husband, an actor and producer Trevor Engelson in September 2011 got divorced in August 2013. And she featured in movies in underwear sometimes showing what evangelicals define as ‘nakedness.’ Some allegedly leaked nude pictures of her on internet. To some people not the ideal woman to marry into royal family, importantly to marry sixth in line to the throne. For this reason was abused by many on the internet, on radio, tv etc. This made the British Royal Family’s communication secretary to release official statement in November, 2016 addressing the issues, ranging from sexism, to racism etc. But none of these, not her background as a ‘commoner’ or an African-American, an actress, a divorcee did not stop her. So after today, 19th of May, 2018, Meghan Markle becomes ‘Her Royal Highness Princess Henry, Duchess of Sussex and Countess of Dumbarton and Kilkeel.’ So for ease called ‘Her Royal Highness, The Duchess of Sussex.’ For the record she is first ever approved Duchess of Sussex in the history of royal family.
THE AMAZING THING is that although Meghan is not royal by blood, yet when with her husband Prince Harry or the Duke of Sussex, she will take his status and rank. As a result, all blood royalty below status and rank of her husband will have to bow and curtsy to her. On the contrary when she is alone then she has to bow and curtsy to blood royalty or anyone more senior than her. This helps to understand the imputation of righteousness of God. Like Meghan, our own self-righteousness cannot qualify us to be called Christians or qualify for the Kingdom of God. And as a result, we need Jesus Who gives His Name, status in order for us to be qualified to enjoy the privileges of God’s Royal Priesthood. In this case it is Jesus Christ of Nazareth our joint Heir makes us Children of God as Meghan from today officially known among the royal family. It’s not because of anything she did by her own accord or has done but because she is married to Prince Harry. She will receive secret service protection, diplomatic passports and enjoy other enviable privileges not because of her, but because of Prince Harry. In this context, Prince Harry is the way she has to all these. Without her Prince she is just Meghan Markle. In the same fashion the way to God to gain privilege in God in Christ and heaven is Jesus. We are qualified and will enjoy in heaven because of Him. We live forever because of our marriage to Jesus and it is not because of anything we did, have, will do or can do. And we are nothing without Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour.
LESSONS FROM MEGHAN LIFESTORY.
1. No matter your past is. No matter the challenges, bad experiences you have gone through do not give up. Do not let your mistakes, setbacks and failures of the past to dictate your today and tomorrow.
2. Do not be over conscious of what people say about you. Don’t live your life according to the opinions of others. No matter the defamatory stories said or printed about you, whether true or false, don’t give up. Stand tall, apologize when you have to. Change when you have to. Reconcile when you have to and just march forward.
3. When your season is due, when it is your time to shine, believe nothing can stop you. No one knows tomorrow, your tomorrow can make your enemies, accusers, those who looked down or you to bow and curtsy to you. Be positive and work hard. The future is brighter.
4. More importantly, who you connect with is very very important. Who comes into your life is of great importance. Meghan Markle the actress because of her connection and marriage to Prince Harry is now someone so different with honour, higher status, privileges, care and attention she didn’t have before. She may not be royal by blood but because of her marriage some royals by blood have to bow and curtsy to her when she is with her husband.
As sinners we didn’t deserve it, our own righteousness couldn’t and cannot qualify us to enter the Kingdom of God except we repent believe in Jesus for Him to impute His righteousness on us. The same way Meghan Markle’s status as a popular actress, an American etc cannot qualify her and couldn’t qualify her to be called Her Royal Highness or for the royals to bow and curtsy to her but marrying the Prince and taking on his rank and status qualifies her. Who are you connected to? Jesus Christ of Nazareth wants to connect with you to save you, redeem you, to promote you, to Bless and Favour you and give you Eternal life in God’s Royal Kingdom.
The blue background of the shield on her arms represented the Pacific Ocean off California’s coast with two golden rays symbolic of the state’s sunshine. Meghan’s American royal arm features 3 quills representing communication and power of words. Beneath the shield, collection of golden poppies, California’s state flower and wintersweet which grows at Kensington Palace where she lives, the palace said. Next to shield are two “supporters“ one for her husband and one relating to her, a songbird with open beak which represents the power of communication. The good heraldic design is simple and the arms of the Duchess of Sussex stand well beside the historic beauty of the quartered British royal arms,” Woodcock said. Technical description of arms is “azure a feather bendwise argent quilled between two bendlets all between two like feathers argent quilled. To qualify in Kingdom of God one must wear righteous garments approved worthy of God’s Presence. In the same way the dress code for royal wedding conformed to their standards.
Credit: Clement Ngissah
As it was in days of Noah preservation of animal species to be done by modern scientists by DNA genetic data for future posterity. The team of 24 scientists from around the globe are hoping to collect and store genetic codes of 1.5 million species on Earth in a move to “revolutionise understanding of DNA.” The codes will be taken from a plethora of animals, plants and fungi. The £3.4 billion project can be used by scientists to discover more about evolution and how better to treat the environment. The library, created by the Smithsonian Institution, is being described as “most ambitious project in history of modern biology.” Aim of BioGenome Project as it is dubbed will be used for innovations in medicine, agriculture, conservation among other things. Only 0.2 percent of life on Earth has been sequenced. John Kress from Smithsonian Institution told The Times: “We will build a complete library of life that we can sample and delve into for whatever purpose. “We can use it for improving environments and ourselves, and revolutionising our understanding of the evolution of life.”Only 0.2 percent of life on Earth been sequenced. Researchers wrote in study published in Proceedings of National Academy of Sciences Increasing our understanding of Earth’s biodiversity and responsibly stewarding resources among the crucial scientific and social challenges of the new millennium.” It adds outcomes would “inform a broad range of major issues facing humanity, s impact of climate change of biodiversity conservation of the endangered species, ecosystems, preservation, enhancement of ecosystem services.“Unimaginable biological secrets are held in genomes of the millions of known and unknown organisms on our planet. This ‘dark matter’ of biology can hold the key to unlocking potential for sustaining planetary ecosystems on we depend to provide life support systems for a burgeoning world population.”
Thousands of people attended Queen Elizabeth’s Happy Birthday party Royal Albert Hall London. Celebrated occasion of Her Majesty’s 92nd birthday as was born on 21st April 1926. God Save The Queen in Jesus Name and pray for all leaders and those in authority to live quietly in peace with all mankind.
GOD’S GLORY BELONGS EXCLUSIVELY TO YAHWEH so not given to anyone as is Jesus’ Glory due to Christ alone. And in the same way man’s glory is given to mankind by God in Christ Jesus. Many people do not realise these three types of categories exist tend to mix them. In Isaiah 48:9-11, God says, For MY NAME sake I defer my anger, for the sake of MY praise I AM restrained so I do not cut you off. I refine you not as silver; I tried you in the furnace of affliction. For MY OWN sake for MY OWN sake I do this so MY NAME is not profaned MY GLORY I will not give to anyone. For MY NAME’s sake! For the sake of MY Praise! For MY OWN sake! MY OWN sake! MY GLORY I will not give to another! Sovereign God is central passion in GLORIFICATION of God in our hearts and lives. God’s ultimate goal is uphold GLORY of HIS NAME Chose us for HIS GLORY since foundation of the world to be Holy and blameless before HIM. In love God predestined, adopts us HIS Children in Jesus Christ to HIMSELF by HIS WILL, to the Praise of the GLORY of HIS Grace. (Ephesians 1:4-6, cf. vv. 12, 14. God created us for HIS GLORY. HIS Children from end of earth called by MY NAME created for MY GLORY in Isaiah 43: 6-7. God called Israel first for HIS GLORY. God’s servant Israel will Glorify Yahweh Elohim says Isaiah 49:3 in all nation’s of the earth. Jesus said good works gets God’s GLORY. And so way let your light shine before others so they may see your good works and give GLORY to your Father in heaven so says Matthew 5:16; 1 Peter 2:12. John 17:22 says God’s GLORY flows into Jesus Glory to restore man’s glory after redemption from falling in sin for all to be one in Christ. God and Jesus are ONE so world will believe God sent Jesus to give us back the glory in Jesus Name so we too are one in God in Christ.
Jesus said do not try to seek GOD’s GLORY for yourself believe in God and do not receive glory from one another or seek glory belonging only to God in John 5:44. God answers prayer so God is GLORIFIED so ask in Jesus Name so Father God is GLORIFIED in the Son states John 14:13. It is written Jesus endured final hours of suffering for GOD’s GLORY “Father, GLORIFY YOUR NAME and voice from heaven said I am GLORIFIED and Glorify Him again. Jesus receives us into His fellowship for the GLORY of God: Welcome each other as Christ welcomed you for the GLORY of God says Romans 15:7. The ministry of the Holy Spirit is to Glorify the Son of God: He will Glorify Me, for He will take what is mine and declare it to you. (John 16:14) God instructs us to do all things for HIS GLORY. Whether you eat, drink or whatever you do, do all to GLORY of God in l Corinthians 10:31; 6:20. God tells us to serve HIM this way so HE IS GLORIFIED.Jesus is Coming again for the GLORY of God. Jesus Comes to be GLORIFIED in His Saints to be marveled at among all who believe in 2 Thessalonians 1:9-10. Jesus’ ultimate aim is we see and enjoy His Glory so prayed: Father I desire all those you gave me be with me where I am to see My Glory you gave me because you love me before foundation of world in John 17:24. God’s WRATH and Jesus wrath makes known wealth of HIS GLORY, POWER endures with much patience the wrath prepared for destruction to make known riches of HIS GLORY and vessels of Mercy prepare for GLORY in Romans 9:22-23. Sin separates from God’s GLORY as Herod did not give God GLORY in Acts 12:23. God’s plan is to fill earth with knowledge of HIS GLORY: For the earth will be filled with knowledge of GLORY of the LORD as the waters cover the sea in Habakkuk 2:14. Things happen for FATHER God’s GLORY. From HIM GOD through HIM to HIM are all things. To HIM be GLORY forever, Amen, says Romans 11:36. In the New Jerusalem, the GLORY of God replaces the sun: The City needs no sun or moon to shine for the GLORY of God gives Light and the Lamp is the Lamb of God Jesus Christ in Revelation 21:23.
Traumatic tragic death bereavement is completely unexpected loss, worst form of grief people go through. Suddenly changes lifeplan dramatically, cancels activities so a shock to the system. One minute conversation is taking place about life but the next minute subject changes to unexpected death. It is most painful if the person appeared healthy, full of life with a great future suddenly cut short by death. The numbing shock of loss is hard to sink in and feels that loved one is about to walk through the door home. Seems like a dream, surreal but wide awake with sleepless nights so deep within the heart an overwhelming pain lingers on. Everyday passes by without a text, contact or phone call, facebook so realises it must be really true. Shock is a normal reaction and unbelief deceased person is really no longer with us here on earth. Sudden change of plans means numbness while taking in loss starting to sink in. Though we understand death as part of life it does not make it easier to accept. Death is painful and difficult to experience it hurts beyond belief and complicated. At times pain seems insurmountable but support and a therapy can help to understand, accept and ease the pain. After death of a loved one life is never the same but talking therapy helps to provide skills and tools to assist with creation of the new normal to integrate life into new existence. Annette was on the way to mortuary when Julia phoned to support death of daughter Amber, aged four, who drowned in a swimming pool, and going to see her body. Many people would not call at that moment they feel encroaching on a raw traumatic grief. Julia, friend of couple, a psychotherapist specialises in dealing with loss knows when people in throes of overwhelming grief, sharing the pain is the only thing that makes even the tiniest difference. Grief professionals don’t have endowed special powers its empathy compassion. Phil answered the phone, so Julia liked to say something to make it better but knew nothing could do that, so she said the only thing she could. “I am terribly sorry to hear your daughter, Amber, has died; I’m sorry the devastating pain that has happened to you. How can I help?” 25 years as grief psychotherapist taught Julia great deal about human condition that focus on grief means focus on life, loss exposes things that matters about a person, their strengths and weaknesses. When someone dies, it reveals faultlines in bereaved family, even deepest, most hidden ones. If you know about loss you know about family, about love, survival, resilience and strength. Knowing about loss means you know about life. But there is a paradox at the centre of loss, and it is this. Grief is the most intense pain there is, and we will do anything to avoid pain. So we run away from it; we run away from our own grief, and we run away from others’ grief. Yet, says running away from grief means we will not recover but embracing helps move through the agony and deal with pain.
Allowing ourselves to be while it washes over us, is only way to survive because we have to feel the worst in order to let it change us. Then we can start to find out who we are going to be in wake of it. This is the message at the heart of Julia’s new book, Grief Works. “If you ignore grief and push it down, you can live and you can function, but you live a very narrow emotional life because using emotional energy to cope,” she said. “Everything in psyche will be squashed down, and that means small things can trigger a much bigger kind of effect. The fact is to do the work of grieving. You have to let it run its course. Pain is agent of change; pain allows you to change, it enables you to reach a new reality.” Her book traces journeys of many of the bereaved people she has walked alongside; she describes how she wept and mourned with them. “let clients know what they say has an impact: Tell them when feels shocked, sad or upset,” she says. So talk about relationship with bereaved and a relationship with friends in service of a deceased. Say what you feel if thinking about them if it’s useful to share. One of the many moving stories in her book is that of Bill and Sally, whose 13-year-old son Matthew died of rare virus. Sally tells Julia losing her son has made her feel dead, no more expectations of life; so does not want to go on living. “I said quite plainly, although she was giving up on herself, I refused to; I would fight for her, held her and whispered hidden strength within her said, to live.’ Julia, in 50s, mother of 4 grown up children, grandmother of four, vivacious and fun: has time to feel recharged with life. You know it helps feeling of clients who like Sally regain joy to be alive again. Helps Julia’s interest in answering questions on experiences of traumatic loss to help open hearts for the healing process.
There are two sorts of loss, says Julia: expected loss and traumatic loss. And perhaps, for one in her profession, her own losses have all been expected ones. Her father died at 87, sad, grieved but it not traumatic loss. Bereavement work involves charity Birthright, Well-being of Wo/men made her aware of the pain of losing a baby although wonders was unconsciously influenced by parent’s loss of three parents and three siblings by the time they were 25. “Everything seemed OK, but thinks back aware of some unresolved grief. Almost only personal experience of a shocking, out-of-nowhere, loss figures such death brought loss closer and changed how to deal with grief. Julia was a close friend of Princess Diana, a connection echoed when asked by William and Kate to be a godmother to Prince George in 2013. That is, she says, a very joyful role lots of fun, and the chance to enjoy the little boy as he grows up but she doesn’t want to say much about it or Diana, save she agrees her death made difference to the nation’s approach to grief. So, too, she says, did other major shifts of history, especially the first and second world wars. “Our parents, parents of people of my generation, were the generation that couldn’t afford to grieve. Were parented by survivors of first world war simply to survive but modern luxury means able to deal with it differently.”
Despite public outpouring of grief after Diana’s death, doesn’t think most people are sufficiently aware impact traumatic bereavement has, the ripples it leaves or how long they persist. As someone who experienced a traumatic loss at the age of nine, when three-year-old sister was killed in road accident agrees with her analysis. It is 44 years since death, and shockwaves still reverberate in the family: everyone is different because of it, next generation touched by it in ways too subtle for them to fully understand.
Traumatic losses shape future of family as subject of great interest to Julia; so, is the way men and women deal with loss differently. Men, tend to want to move on to make plans, to focus on new horizons. Women on other hand want to spend more time remembering the person who died so want to immerse themselves in the pain. But the fact is, each can learn from others. “You have to do both things: you must have time to grieve and mourn and other time when you have break from the grief. You can create circumstances where you grieve, and circumstances where you move on; so men and women help one another. He can help her go for a walk to a park or gallery can help him talk about how he feels to express some of his loss.” The problems set in when individuals fails to understand the pattern of grief in the other; they think of them as selfish or they don’t care enough, but it isn’t about that due to the different ways of coping. Grieving is an intensely individual and incredibly lonely experience, which can make it difficult time in family, group of people going through something sparked by same event, but is in each case very different. The way to cope, is be open in communicating feelings to others in your family. Families that fare best share feelings openly when a death disrupts complex finely tuned balance in a family. So needs a reorganised and open approach to help with process.”
At the beginning, and this is especially true of a traumatic loss, the grief is all-consuming: but over time, says Julia, you find you are starting to live again. The mistake some make, though, is believing they can go back to being the way they were. “Some people say, ‘This isn’t going to change us.’ But that’s not how it is: and it’s when you recognise that bereavement is a life-shattering experience, and that you have to grieve and rebuild, that you can move on positively into a new phase of life. You don’t forget the person who’s gone; you can never do that, and you should not worry that you’re going to. But you keep them in memory so their loss helps you become a new person you become; and maybe in the end is greatest tribute to make to anyone who passed to Glory. Grief affects us all so hope in God and read HIS beautiful WORDS in Bible to guide prayers. Powerful scriptures will help you face feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is very normal to feel it is not really true the person is still alive soo will be at home, then in shock, angry they died, hoping the loved one comes back alive, realising they passed on into Glory and finally accepting loss and accepting new unexpected sudden sad changes of life. Crying, weeping, feeling low not eating properly, sad, confused, depressed are all part of feelings of pain, hurt of loss, bereavement, grieving and mourning. It is normal to feel helpless, lost without a loved one with deep sorrow and pain. One helpful action is remember a loved does not want your life destroyed and ruined because of them. They see you in heaven so like you to live and continue life despite feeling changes happening. There’s no shame in being sad. The life we’ve been given was never promised free of pain or sorrow so during times we hurt most run to God and HIS Word for peace and comfort. Psalm 117:7 says God cares about death of the righteous.
Help from family and friends
Listening. Be a friend who is prepared to give their time, to listen and to acknowledge the extent of your friend’s loss. Listening is the key. Bear witness, and allow your friend to be upset, to be confused and contradictory, or to say nothing at all. Every time they tell their story once more, or are allowed to say how important the person who has died was, burden of carrying pain on their own is incrementally a little lighter.
It’s not about you. Follow a mourner’s lead: they may not want to talk about their grief right now, or with you. It is good to say something to acknowledge their loss, but then let them have the control they need, they had none over death so choose to talk or not. If they ask you to come and be with them, and want to talk openly to you, go. If they truly don’t want a visit or don’t want to deal with it at that time, don’t force it on them. Don’t confuse need to speak, call, contact, with friend’s need of privacy to come to terms with grief. Some kings or or important dignitaries, leaders buried in secret. Deuteronomy 34:5-7, Numbers 27:13-28 says God buried Moses Himself without gravestone marker, headstone, monument remain unmarked, Israelites not have idol worship. So Moses’ eternal soul rests in peace buried in the Moab valley opposite Beth Peor near Mount Nebo from plains of Moab near top of Pisgah. None knows where Moses’ body buried, concealed in grave stops people flocking to idolise him. In Jude 1:9 angel fought with Michael over Moses’ body, only unique burial by God. Moses’ body soul, alive in Transfiguration met Jesus with Elijah alive from heaven on Mount in Matthew 27:1-10.
Mourning state of total shock and disorientation exempts you from performing actions requiring attention to detail. Time is given off work at least minimum of 2 weeks plus due holidays to grieve and mourn. Time is needed to sort out paper work, fill in forms and to notify various agencies of the departed. In mourning people wear symbolic or an appropriate colour suitable for the age of the departed. To be able to attend unhindered to funeral arrangements it is important to dress appropriately. The family decided obligated choice agreed on to help support family. Immediately following burial mourning the mourner does not listen to music, go to concerts, does not attend joyous events or parties unless absolutely necessary. If a date set prior to death strictly forbidden or to be postponed cancelled. Week-long period of grief mourning observance referred to by time to grief. During this period all mourners traditionally gather the home and receive visitors. Mourners refrain for a week from showering or bathing, wearing leather shoes, jewelry, shaving. Some communities cover mirrors in the mourner’s home so they not concerned about their personal appearance. It is customary for mourners to sit on low stools or even the floor, symbolic of the emotional reality of being “brought low” by grief. Meal of consolation first meal eaten on return from funeral consists of hard-boiled egg or other round oblong foods. Biblical hospitality means during this seven-day period, family, friends or colleagues visit and call on mourners to comfort them. Is considered great time of kindness, compassion to pay respects to visit the mourners. No greetings are exchanged, visitors wait for mourners to initiate conversation. Mourner is not obliged to engage in a conversation and may completely ignore his/her visitors. Visitors take on hosting role, attending to guests, bringing food and serving it to the mourning family. Mourning family avoids cooking or cleaning during this period. Those responsibilities become that of visitors to ease burden and pain.
Acknowledgment. Death isn’t catching, but those who are bereaved might think so, judging by the fear they see in other people’s eyes. People are frightened about whether to come forward, about what to say, about saying the wrong thing so, in the end say nothing. All of that comes from a belief whatever you say should make things better but have enough wisdom to make the pain more bearable but you can’t or need to. Be kind enough to acknowledge them and their suffering is difficult enough. Offer to be there if they need you, suggesting that they should be the one to ring you, is probably asking too much of your friend at this time. It is better if you take the initiative and make contact, and then follow their lead: they may want to see or speak with you or not. Often, people don’t make contact because they feel they don’t know the bereaved person well enough. If you are erring one way or the other, better to err on the side of making contact.
Practical help. Doing practical things is often what really makes a difference. Don’t say, “Let me know if I can help”; actually do something helpful. At the beginning of a bereavement, there may be a lot of people around, so bringing food may be the best thing you can do. Taking food around for longer than the initial crisis is particularly appreciated.
Honesty. Be honest because honesty is comforting and easy to deal with. So direct honesty helps complex messiness of grief so an enormous relief to people. Be honest about what you actually can do rather than covering up because you feel guilty about what you can’t. And be specific to say, “I’m going to come round for half an hour” or come on Tuesday” don’t say, “I’ll come when you want, tell me, and I’ll be there”, and then find you can’t deliver on that offer.
Be sensitive. Being honest is important, as being sensitive. Promiscuous honesty is not a good idea. Be aware of showing too openly your life is trotting along as happily as can be, feels like you rubbing their nose in your happiness.
Be in it for the long haul. Remember to make contact and be supportive after everyone else has gone. Usually three months following the death, people get back to their lives, as they should. But it is by no means over for the person who is bereaved. Sending a text or popping is hugely supportive.
Writing. Letters, cards, texts or emails: it doesn’t matter what you write – all are extremely helpful. It is better, however, to say that you don’t want a reply, because some people simply can’t respond. And it is never too late to send them. It is a welcome surprise to receive a card much later, because it is when everyone else has forgotten and your friend is still grieving. When you do write, try to make it personal and avoid tired cliches such as, “She’s had a good innings” or “Better to have loved and lost because they are trite in some way diminish personal importance of this very loved person who died. You don’t need to go into long explanations of why the person died or theological explorations about death; be loving and personal, warm and acknowledging.
RAPTURE ETERNAL RESURRECTION
Believers have assurance of eternal life in Christ so mourn with hope for their resurrection. In the Bible Jesus raised Lazarus from death, widow of Nain son, Peter raised Dorcas, Paul raised young man who fell dead sitting on a window ledge. The dead arose alive when Jesus was crucified and went into town seen by many people. We pray and ask GOD to raise loved one too in Jesus Name so thank God Jesus raised Lazarus. Bible says Christianity lasts beyond earthly life into heaven so mourn and grieve with hope in Jesus Christ. Christians call death falling asleep to pass into glory to be with God. Although grief pain hurts deeply and so feels tragic loss yet know future reunion family circle will be complete in heaven in the Presence of God Almighty. In the Rapture, the dead in Christ will first be resurrected to join those alive together to meet Christ in the clouds into heaven. The signs of the end times are predicted by Jesus in Matthew 24. So death is part of transition into eternal life although it is better to have loved ones on earth as members of a family, God calls them to higher service in heaven. Rest in peace safely beloved in the loving arms of God so no more sorrow, grief, pain, tears we love you and miss you terribly but God LOVES you more. We shall see you one day in Jesus Name for you are delivered because your name is found written in the BOOK OF LIFE according to Daniel 12:1-2. All asleep in Christ in dust of the earth wake to everlasting life in heaven in Glory in GOD’S PRESENCE. The Holy Spirit of God is our Comforter in times like these so we draw strength from the word of God to carry on in life in Jesus Name. GOD Our Father Comforts us too through His Love and Words of comfort from loved ones, friends and family.
Extract from Grief Works by Julia Samuel