DEATH AND EVIL EMOTIONS

Death is a sensitive  matter that brings about all sorts of negative evil emotions and disagreements due to accusations blaming others as their cause of a death. God said it’s appointed unto man to die and there is a time to die except unless one of those who will never see die in the Rapture. It clearly says in the Bible an average age of life is between 70 to 80 years although exceptions mean that some die younger and other people live hundreds of years. However awareness of existence of facts of life about death does not make death easier to accept, no matter how long the person lived. Even when a loved one is ill for many years there is expectation for recovery despite doctor’s prognosis. Letting go of loved ones is painful and soon turns to anger of feelings of being abandoned by loved ones. Soon anger turns to denial and the blame of anyone as cause of their death. Often accusations are levelled against a frontline staff for not trying harder to save loved ones despite the best medical resources. Relatives accuse and blame others for causing death through evil spirits using, sorcery, witchcraft and divinations charms, curses and spells. Often the shock caused by the death is compounded by financial demands imposed on relatives for a grand burial beyond their means and resources. The family is given a list of items to buy by the elders before burial takes place. The families compete for the corpse and the process of burial instead of unifying in grief for the sake of their loved ones. In some parts of the world burial is bigger than wedding so requires lots of money. And the sudden death burdens relatives obliged to provide coffin, food, clothing drinks accommodations for guests. This causes so much debt and puts pressure on families of the deceased because the resources are diverted for burial rather than investments into projects to help those alive. Fear of being haunted and punished by the deceased, if not buried properly or revenge for ” whoever” is responsible for the death becomes their obsession. Until the dead tells them who caused their death, a cloud of suspicion hangs around alleged suspects. They are often targeted and victimized, beaten, ostracised and in some cases killed to ensure that person does not kill more people. Thoughts and fears of potential deaths to be caused by a “perpetrator” drives the community to eliminate such an evil person from their midst. A closer look at alleged perpetrators involve the issue of land disputes envied prosperity and labelling them ritual killers for the material gain. Sudden change in wealth, buildings, or good fortune is thought to be the result of such killings. These are some reasons for delays for funerals for months or years until these issues are resolved. Grief and sorrow overshadow reality with strong desire to pin death on perpetrator for closure to project the pain and loss on them. People are fined, chased away from community banished for life so if anyone shows compassion to them are accused of being part of evil circle causing death. Adults or children are accused by the witchdoctors who fuel confusion by their condemnation of people targetted as perpetrator. Anger, and hatred causes bitterness, sickness, due to unforgiveness, fear and chaos as confusion in the family tarnishes many generations holding grudges by blaming members. An unforgiving person is very poor in spirit, suffers afflictions, many hardships, hypertension, pressure, lack of sleep, stress, exhaustion and serious depression, poor diet so low immunity. These affects quality of life made worse by the copius painkillers literally killing them. Challenges in life of the matured born-again child of God promotes them through furnance of faith to overcome in victory. What does not kill you makes you stronger so problem strengthen you for testimony to the Glory of God God gives solutions in Jesus Name to prove HIS miracle power is same yesterday, today and forever. Problems draw you closer to God to triump always. And we know nothing can separate us from the LOVE OF GOD including death. Personal neglect and the lack of drinking water causes dehydration and death. Do not seek evil sources of secret family idols in shrines through divination sacrifices or offerings on altars destroying people. Their potions, lotions, charms, rings and objects tie them to evil covenants killing them. God says MY people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. These professed Christian believers consult family idols as history reveals in covenant rituals for protection, power, childbirth, help sought for healing and material riches that ENSNARE family to evil spirits. So family members dedicated in the womb or after birth for life to witchdoctors to continue covenant bondage to powers of darkness yet confess to BELIEVE in God as Christians. Deep-rooted rituals secret rituals take place despite official church burials or business success. The family perform secret rituals involving witchdoctors in the name of culture. So these rituals require families paying the huge sums of money to witchdoctors for buying, cows, goats etc to pacify gods or idols from destroying more people. And sadly these rituals cause these divisions separating them from God depriving the family of joy, peace, love and unity. The family gets the worse problems because they held captive by dark powers. Some remain slaves to witchdoctors held in a spiritual captivity and the families takes loans to pay them. Younger generations have no idea of causes of evil challenges in their life as dedicated in the womb by rituals performed by these witchdoctors or herbalist. Fear of evil eyes of enemies reinforce greed of witch doctors fueling hatred among people seeking solutions to problems in time of need. Yet God the Giver of life warns about death as part of life to prepare to deal with death to cope better and to mourn with HOPE OF ASSURANCE OF ETERNAL LIFE IN THE RESURRECTION.

So it is important to remember children pick on these issues affecting by them if unresolved early. The child listens to various insinuations and made to take sides in such conflicts. Developing children who see physically and experience these matters need help to teach them the topic of death and loss sensitively in primary schools to fulfill section (a) of aims of the 1988 Education Reform Act to promote spiritual, moral, cultural, mental, physical development of pupils at school and of society. These issues must be addressed during Death Education in the home and by Teachers in their curriculum. Doctors also call for death education in schools to be taught in classroom to demystify death, ageing and dying. They need resiliency, more compassion positive proactive approach to death. Death Education in Schools is critically important to bring awareness for better understanding and for future generations. Afterlife has many beliefs so necessary to explain a human body is subject to change or decay over lifetime so demands better care of life to treat it as a precious priceless gift to treasure. Someone people think teaching death education in schools is too sensitive or inappropriate so might do the opposite of putting fear in them. Death education if discussed appropriately will not harm children but rather enhance knowledge and understand from the early years as young as three years if relatives died to help them express grief.

Teachers must be trained to handle the changes in children bereaved, the level of coursework, homework, studies and focus or concentrations. Schools must provide one-to-one counselling room for those children grieving to express the grief in private using Educational resources provided for schools, teachers to bring awareness. Healing takes years but a good enough starting point to help ease the pain. Relatives are traumatized after death and some think there is no light at the tunnel. Yet with the right support and compassion families will overcome death to find peace in the midst of adversity of death. Restoring hope after death or questions of cause of death can be dealt with by teacher in simple terms without indepth medical terms to help rather than confuse children. An expert paediatrician if required can be invited to guide children to express and write journals or scrapbook, drawings and to express grief after bereavement. Above all children need financial support, food and extra input into an academic work to catch up with loss of time away from school during such funerals. A conflict over the deceased loved ones seriously impacts children for the rest of live. So it is important to be careful what is said in front of them or listening nearby. The property and assets of a deceased is the major cause of divisions in the families. The family makes sacrifices to educate a deceased person so feels more entitled to their belongings. A wife and children are antagonized by deceased family for feeling cheated while deceased lived. So they are punished to pay for the costs of the burial for killing their only source of income. These issues must be addressed immediately to give scholarship to the children go continue their education. If not death of a parent ends education. Or death of adult breadwinner ends the well-being of elderly parents. Vitriol and rage caused by death means litigations in court drains limited resources. These parents need support too to help their children so both need encouragement. Life originates from God so not owned by anyone. Jesus said He gave His Life to overcome death so the sting of death is crushed by Jesus Christ’s resurrection power by raising from the grave. And so a believer in Jesus Christ is expected to live by God’s Biblical commands only. A secret ritual unseen or unknown to the pastor is SEEN BY GOD. All will be held accountable by God to give an account for their life and other people in their families. These are serious matters to reflect to make a right choice to please God. Living by God’s standard affects a family divided in their thoughts and the actions contrary to God’s WORDS. And it important to remember you come as an individual into this world and will face God as an individual on judgement day. Better to obey God than follow the men leading you into sin and destruction in the name of cultural belief. Despite all the punishment a deceased does not get out alive because of vengeance so does not really solve any problems. Believers can humbly share their faith from Bible in advance on God’s stance on the death and resurrection. Jesus guarantees joy and eternal life after death for a season so believers are assured of seeing loved ones again in the resurrection Rapture if a Christian believer. This means death is not the end families or loved ones, all will be reunited without pain, sorrow, grief, tears or crying anymore in perfect joy eternally. It’s important to EDUCATE people to understand CREATOR GOD’S words on burial and funerals. Excessive display of wealth to show off to others or pay money for journey or bury cars in graves with personal belongings are unbiblical. Worldly attitude to life seeps into church burial ceremonies despite Bible’s position th material goods does not constitute a man’s life. The worldly goods become completely useless in the afterlife and people must know this. The amount of money invested in death will change communities if it’s invested in a life of a deceased while alive. Believers must carefully pray and study word of God and seek deliverance from all these generational entanglements. Educated family members have an important role to play not to be deceived by envious evil people misleading them. God says in his words that where is no vision the people perish. The devil is a liar using deception to often manipulate illiterate family members without knowledge or understanding of medical biology, body chemistry, health and well-being. And so every death is placed on the targeted victim blamed or ostracised to ease the pain of death. Instead hatred breeds depression, low immunity, disease and heart attack, mental illness or madness. Unforgivingness over years destroys the health of people, as stated, hatred is the poison drank by a person expecting an enemy to die. It kills joy, causes misery and deep anger unleashed on innocent family members or colleagues. Endtime events are fast happening so this is time to ask GOD FOR HIS MERCY, GRACE, COMPASSION, FORGIVENESS, LOVE for yourself and your loved ones in Jesus Name. Jesus taught us to forgive and to receive Forgiveness from God so release people to God. Forgiveness does not mean you become best friend of enemy to hang out with them but it clears your heart from offending God and Jesus and grieving the Holy Spirit. The Bible says all sins will be forgiven except the sins against the Holy Spirit. Lifespan is the will of God so work with God and take of your body, Spirit and soul in Christ. 

 

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LEARN GREAT LIFE LESSONS

IMG_20180607_181942Great life lessons learnt help us through mace of living in this imperfect world.

*MAKE RIGHT LONGTERM CHOICES*

When younger we make various choices without the future in mind. Sometimes those choices bite in our mid-life. These are some of the things one might regret.

1. *Marrying the wrong person*

When you’re young, check your motives for wanting to marry. Do not marry to copy your peers, for social standing, out of pressure. Ensure you marry for love and companionship, marry the right person, marry your best friend. For if you marry the wrong person or for the wrong reasons, you will have to put up with person the rest of your life. Things might get worse between you two; then depression, physical abuse, affairs, pain, shame, court cases, bitterness defines mid-life years all because you chose the wrong one. Things will get worse when children are involved. Make the right choice of a spouse when you are young.2010febvoice2

2. *The opportunities you did not seize*

When you are younger many doors will open, you will get many chances. Many young people let these opportunities go because of fear, laziness, or pride; yet well younger and with more energy is the best time to start a venture and a name for yourself. Some think the opportunities are too big for them. Take advantage of them or one day when you’re older you will want to go back and grab those missed chances.

3. *Do not Burn Bridges*

The younger care little for relationships, what most think about is getting money and moving up ladder of success at all cost. Many use and trample on people to progress, take relationships for granted, messing bonds, sleeping with people for personal gain. These bad actions does catch up with ahead. And realizes how empty life is without love or friends. If you have success but has no one around you or trusts you it’s a lonely life.IMG_20180607_182056

4. *The child terminatef*

A young lady if pregnant or scared may take termination option rather quickly thinking in the moment. But when you are much older, you will look back and wish you kept that baby. When you are rich and successful you may wish that child you gave up would be around to enjoy fruits of your hard work. Being a single mother doesn’t mean you can’t make it in life or can’t marry in future.

5. *The child rejected*

Young man, you impregnated a woman, she told you she’s pregnant with your child. You rejected her and baby and ran. Years later you’re 50 something, you will wish you were responsible, you will wish you manned up and became a father to that child. You will see child excel and become an adult but will have no claim to the grown up child rejected from the beginning. You regret being a Dead Beat Dad by choice.IMG_20180607_182036

6. *The marriage destroyed*

So you get married to your good fiance; the first months in marriage were good but shortly after, with your money and charm, you started having affairs. You became unfaithful. Spouse begged you to stop, your children started hurting, your marriage was collapsing. One day when you are older, it will hit you how foolish you were to destroy the good marriage you had began to build for temporary thrills in affairs that did you no good. You will realize the damage you caused to your children and spouse.

7. *The God disowned*

When you are much older you become wiser, God becomes more real as you see life in a more meaningful way. But don’t wait to get older to start enjoying a relationship with God. Know God when you are young, build your future with God. Don’t be a young rebel who runs back to God when age catches up.IMG_20180607_181842

8. *The body messed up*

You have only one body to live with all your life. The cigarettes, the alcohol you are abusing, the drugs you are taking, the unhealthy food you’re consuming; all that will destroy you slowly. When you are 50 and lifestyle diseases catch up with you, you will wish you took care of your body when younger, that you exercised more; but now the damage is done.

9. *The time wasted*

The time you are wasting when younger in worry, wrong relationships, laziness, being a couch potato, giving excuses and pursuing meaningless things; you will never get it back.

10. *The dreams talents shelved*

Are you talented when young; are there things you love to do and you are good at them? Nurture those talents, exploit them, don’t give up if you encounter set backs, don’t give up on your dreams. If you give up, when you’re older you will look at peers who do what they love and made it and think to self, “That could be me.” Pursue a career, study course you love. Don’t waste years of your life in a field that doesn’t fulfill you.Never-lose-yourself-while-trying-to-hold-on-to-someone-who-doesnt-care-about-losing-you.

11 *The name defamed*

When older, a legacy is very important, the value of a name is crucial. You will ask yourself what reputation are you leaving behind? Your legacy is a sum total of your actions since youthful days. The written biography of how we live life everyday counts. When you look back your path and see the mud threw at the name, the shame you attracted and the little value you have added to the world; you will regret.

12. *The wealth thrown away*

Are you riding on good money during your productive years? Earning good money? Don’t throw away that money in clubs, reckless living and wasteful shopping. Invest with money, widen your revenue stream, make that money work for you and keep it safe to take care of you in your older years. Leave an inheritance for your loved ones so will never say “I wish I knew better”

13. *The good love that got away*

Is there that great person in your life loving you good? Don’t push that person away, or else that person will walk out your life and you will never ever find someone incredible and who connects with you all your life. It will torment you to grow older with thoughts of “What if I was still with that person?”IMG_20180607_181814

14 *The parents you despised*

When younger, easy to show contempt to parents thinking what do parent’s know? They are old-fashioned, shady and small -minded. But parents are still your parents whether you agree with them or not, whatever their style. Don’t let your parent die separated from you, reconcile and make up. When you get older, you will realize why your parents wanted to be close to you. The older you get, the more you see the priceless value of life. Thanks for reading, quietly send it sharing the journey of life. Appreciate and realize the value of a sister/brother. Check out how it feels for someone who doesn’t have siblings. Realize the value of the past ten years by asking a newly divorced couple how they survived. And realize value of next four years if still in education and graduate with excellence. And realize value of how one year runs so fast. Ask the student who failed final exam how they used their time. Realize value of nine months of pregnancy and ask the mother who gave birth to baby stillborn. And realize the value of one month after the mother has given birth to a premature baby in incubator. Has to wait many months to embrace child. Realize the value of one week for editor of the weekly newspaper. Thousands or millions of copies produced. And realize the value of one minute of a person who missed the train, bus or plane. Realize a value of one second of a person who has survived an accident. Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. Treasure it even more and share it with someone special. Realize valued friends or family members enhance and enrich your loveBring blessings to everyone you know and Remember, Hold on tight to the ones you love! Have a great week, month, years days, life, ahead. ❤🌹🌹😊

RIGHTEOUS PRAYER AVAILS

snoop dogg gospel albumSnoop Dogg returns to Jesus Christ his Master, Lord and Saviour after years of AWOL soldier of the Cross. Snoop Dogg, marijuana-smoking pimping gangsta rapper cycled through Nation of Islam and Rastafari says he’s now returning to his roots in Christianity. He dropped a new 32-track double gospel album titled “Bible of Love.” “I’ve always referred to my Savior Jesus Christ on my records,” Snoop says in an interview on YouTube. “I would let people know I was a born-again Christian. Church is supposed to welcome sinners. If you find somebody trying to find their way back home to God, the natural thing to do is be warm and welcoming, open your arms to say, ‘Brother, we accept you as you are. We know you’ve been doing wrong but you wanna get right, so we’re gonna help you get right. We’re not going to throw stones at you.’” Come to Jesus now just as you are for Jesus will save you. 

e16cb1f8ccf7d2bda963eb2aee03dc72-snoop-dogg-taylorsSnoop Dogg, whose real name is Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr., took the hip hop world by storm in 1992 when he was discovered and promoted by Dr. Dre. His freshman album Doggystyle shot to Billboard’s #1 spot earned quadruple platinum. His music belonged to the controversial genre that brought calls for censorship for promoting violence and misogyny, and Snoop’s life backed up his words. He denied belonging to a Rollin’ 20s Crips as youth in Long Beach, CA, but once tried for murder of a rival gang member (bodyguard off for self defense). In and out of jail for cocaine possession and other charges after high school. Plummeted into spiritual chaos, before rocketing in rap world, before he became reviled and revered, kid Snoop went to church with his family, singing and playing piano at Golgotha Trinity Baptist Church. So he’s come full circle. Since launching hip-hop career, Snoop Dogg proved to be one of most enduring successful rappers, selling 35 million albums worldwide. Through the years and different albums, Snoop backed away from unsavory G-funk after his friend Tupac Shakur was killed in a drive-by shooting. After his producer on the label Death Row, Suge Knight, was indicted for racketeering. Marijuana smoking became his favourite motif and signature of his music. He once bragged he smoked 80 blunts a day.snoop-dogg-bad-boy And always looking to cash in on shock value, Snoop claimed to Rolling Stone, unlike other rappers who adopt a pimp persona, he actually worked as pimp between 2003 and ‘04 gave it up on advice of fellow pimps to spend time with family. He ventured into television and movies, including Doggy Fizzle Televizzle, Snoop Dogg’s FatherHood, Dogg After Dark. He turned his acquittal of murder charges in February 1996 to short movie Murder Was the Case. In 2009, Snoop converted to Nation of Islam and publicly praised minister Louis Farrakhan. In 2012, he converted to Rastafari movement and, changing his name to “Snoop Lion,” produced clumsy reggae album. All the while, his grandmother and mother praying for their prodigal son. They are elated by announcement of return to Christ with a gospel recording. “Momma said, ‘God told me you gonna do this years ago.’ She been waiting on me,” he says. Read the rest of the article on Snoop Dogg Christian.

CELEBRATING LIVING ALIVE

8d2893a7-d929-4261-86cb-53c54d5c93ddCelebrate life while alive because life is worth living. Enjoy small things in life for when you are dead your tears will flow But loved ones won’t know *Cry now instead! *You will send flowers But won’t see it *Send them now instead!* You’ll say words of praise But they won’t hear. *Praise them now instead!* You’ll forget faults. But will not know, so forgive and *Forget now instead* You’ll miss them But they won’t feel the love so *Miss them now instead.* You will wish You could have spent more time with them *Spend it now instead!* You will wish You could have spent all your money on me. *Spend it now instead!!!* When you hear loved one is gone, you’ll find your way to their home to pay your condolence but did not speak in years. *Please look for them now!!!* Spend the time with every person around you help make them happy while alive before it is too late to show your love!!! 8461-grief-ptsd-trauma-mourning-mdLovingkindness to families, friends, acquaintances, colleagues is important. *Make them feel Special. Because you never know when time will take them away from you forever’* Life is to build each other up. *Life is too short. *Love all and Forgive all.* Funerals costs lots more expenses that go along with it, in many instances cost quite considerable. Family decides to be quite extravagant with planning to “prove their love or status of the deceased. What you need to keep in mind is that you don’t have to spend lots of money to prove how much you cared about someone. It is better simply to do something profound to ensure the commemoration reflects beautifully of who they are. Deceased in other parts of the world go through ritual in Indonesia community. They dig up deceased, clean corpses and dress them up in favourite clothes to parade them around streets.Torajan islanders pay their respects to the dead in the Ma’neme festivalThis ritual is to remember loved ones. It looks like scene from zombie movie, but every three years Torajan islanders pay respects to the dead in Ma’neme festival which is their celebration of life ritual, which translates, Ceremony of Cleaning Corpses. Their dead exhumed, groomed, dressed in new clothes goes on for more than century. Trend set by the Animal hunter Pong Rumasek who discovered a corpse abandoned decaying under tree as he hunted in mountains, felt blessed with good fortune for dressing corpse in his clothes and given proper burial. The bizarre ritual is to remember loved ones Torajan islanders pay respects to dead in Ma’neme festival adopted as people led to believe spirits rewards them for taking care of dead. Deceased’s coffin is replaced or fixed while relatives parade them around streets, following a path of straight lines. Its thought paths connect with Hyang, a supernatural power that only moves in straight lines. The funeral is seen as one of the most important and expensive events in calendar. And some Torajans save money for entire lives for decent send off ‘Puya’ ceremony lasting several days with slaughter of buffaloes, pigs to ensure peaceful afterlife. A man buried abandoned corpse so the society exhumes their already buried relatives to copy his good deeds for reward from spirit? Why not show the living love and care while they are alive instead of now disturbing corpses in graves every three years? How about disease and infection digging up grave. Let dead rest in peace and use resources on living people.

ACTIVELY DEEP LISTENING

post_SilentListen_121816Actively deep listening to hear correctly, affirm and understand what people are saying means a lot to them. It is more than being a sounding board to help talk and discuss life matters. To be allowed into the deepest inner thoughts of a person takes courage so be present in here and now. Affirm by nodding and agreeing, saying “yes” to fully engage in the conversation is part of the process to ensure properly hearing person. And a feedback clarifies topics discussed to reassure person listening attentively. Be polite if speaker feels stressed, anxious, calm them, pay attention to help them open up to share innermost feelings or thoughts. It is encouraging to build their confidence to reflect on their plans and fears. Art of listening, hearing is act of love, takes commitment, ability to read between lines and desire to understand, appreciate person talking. Greatest gift coaches have is ability to help people to know where they are coming from. Listening (1)Understandably needs to provide a safe space to see life from their standpoint is so important and necessary. Life can feel lonely sometimes so knowing that someone really cares and understands matters. It is important to open up to share true feelings without thinking being judged. Health and wellbeing help the lonely or isolated to express inner thoughts and their ideas of life. A phone call to friend or passing time of the day with colleagues is what makes society happy and cohesive by including others. Idealised happiness of fantasy, domestic bliss on social media on the Facebook is unnatural needs so private, confidential space helps open up to deal with what is not working in life.Couple speaking on a benchCoach Kenny Mammarella D’Cruz, The Man Whisperer, talks of importance of men opening up, sharing “without any judgments, ‘shoulds’ or ridicule” as he regularly feels safe in his men’s groups. His workshops and meet-ups invaluable for men from teens to pensioners and offers support, understanding and the reassurance that someone really has got your back. Today ask someone about themselves, really listen, reflect and say something generous or insightful back. Watch their faces. Our ears never get us into trouble and here is a lovely quote, as David Augsburger’s thought sums up: “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.”  

YOUTH BUSINESS GROWTH

IMG_20180410_065558The teenage entrepreneur Tommie Rose has become young ambassador for The National Enterprise Challenge (TNEC). The youngster, from Ordsall joins forces with former ‘Dragon’ Theo Paphitis who is supporting competition a second year in a row. The budding businessman Tommie, 15, became an M.E.N favourite when he raked in £14,000 from selling treats to students at Salford Buile Hill High School. He was also offered his job within hours of enterprising story going online. He puts his experience to good use as he champions inter-school competition sponsored by a stationary company Ryman. The challenge, a ‘real life’ business situation set by Theo and Rymans is divided into 2 age categories: Key Stage 3 (Year 7-8) and Key Stage 4 (Year 9-10). Tommie’s role is to deliver talks and workshops at schools entering competition to inspire them to work together and sharing with them his own success tips.Tommie with Ben, Michael Dyer, CEO and Co-Founders at Ryman National Enterprise. Since appearing in world renowned Forbes magazine, and having the backing of likes of Sir Alan Sugar, Tommie made a point of encouraging youthg to get involved in business and entrepreneurship. He said: “I think this opportunity fits really well together, I think what TNEC does is brilliant by motivating young people interested in business such as myself. “Importantly for me it highlights the fact that you do not need to be top of your class or necessarily academic high achiever to be good at enterprise I think I will be able to inspire so many young people as they will see themselves in me and more likely to take on board what I say as I am a young person achieving success.” And The National Enterprise Challenge aims to focus on developing skills in young people like; teamwork, leadership, communication and their presentation of ideas and projects. Each school that takes part in the challenge will send winning team of 6 pupils and 2 teachers to The National Finals to be held at Alton Towers in July. There are also awards for the most enterprising students, teachers and schools. This is good news to really help young people to encourage them in society to become savvy business people. Take a good look at how families and the schools channel energy of young people to be productive and more focussed on good ideas. This is a dedicated young entrepreneur who needed guidance to grow business idea. Good to know the business community understands his motivation and passion to help him establish his plans. This is a better option than idlying and bored so lured into mischief as some tend to do. It is good to support young people to be contributing to society in a good way to not be overburdened by debt without jobs for life. Cumbersome yoke of debt around young people’s neck is broken by Tommie Rose to earn money early in life and have good success.

 

TRAUMATIC DEATH GRIEF

traumaticbereavement-thirdTraumatic tragic death bereavement is completely unexpected loss, worst form of grief people go through. Suddenly changes lifeplan dramatically, cancels activities so a shock to the system. One minute conversation is taking place about life but the next minute subject changes to unexpected death. It is most painful if the person appeared healthy, full of life with a great future suddenly cut short by death. The numbing shock of loss is hard to sink in and feels that loved one is about to walk through the door home. Seems like a dream, surreal but wide awake with sleepless nights so deep within the heart an overwhelming pain lingers on. Everyday passes by without a text, contact or phone call, facebook so realises it must be really true. Shock is a normal reaction and unbelief deceased person is really no longer with us here on earth. Sudden change of plans means numbness while taking in loss starting to sink in. Though we understand death as part of life it does not make it easier to accept. Death is painful and difficult to experience it hurts beyond belief and complicated. At times pain seems insurmountable but support and a therapy can help to understand, accept and ease the pain. After death of a loved one life is never the same but talking therapy helps to provide skills and tools to assist with creation of the new normal to integrate life into new existence. Annette was on the way to mortuary when Julia phoned to support death of daughter Amber, aged four, who drowned in a swimming pool, and going to see her body. Many people would not call at that moment they feel encroaching on a raw traumatic grief. bottomJulia, friend of couple, a psychotherapist specialises in dealing with loss knows when people in throes of overwhelming grief, sharing the pain is the only thing that makes even the tiniest difference. Grief professionals don’t have endowed special powers its empathy compassion. Phil answered the phone, so Julia liked to say something to make it better but knew nothing could do that, so she said the only thing she could. “I am terribly sorry to hear your daughter, Amber, has died; I’m sorry the devastating pain that has happened to you. How can I help?” 25 years as grief psychotherapist taught Julia great deal about human condition that focus on grief means focus on life, loss exposes things that matters about a person, their strengths and weaknesses. When someone dies, it reveals faultlines in bereaved family, even deepest, most hidden ones. If you know about loss you know about family, about love, survival, resilience and strength. Knowing about loss means you know about life. But there is a paradox at the centre of loss, and it is this. Grief is the most intense pain there is, and we will do anything to avoid pain. So we run away from it; we run away from our own grief, and we run away from others’ grief. Yet, says running away from grief means we will not recover but embracing helps move through the agony and deal with pain. bereavement-and-traumatic-grief-counselling-pinnacle-therapy-counselling-in-london

Allowing ourselves to be while it washes over us, is only way to survive because we have to feel the worst in order to let it change us. Then we can start to find out who we are going to be in wake of it. This is the message at the heart of Julia’s new book, Grief Works. “If you ignore grief and push it down, you can live and you can function, but you live a very narrow emotional life because using emotional energy to cope,” she said. “Everything in psyche will be squashed down, and that means small things can trigger a much bigger kind of effect. The fact is to do the work of grieving. You have to let it run its course. Pain is agent of change; pain allows you to change, it enables you to reach a new reality.” Her book traces journeys of many of the bereaved people she has walked alongside; she describes how she wept and mourned with them. “let clients know what they say has an impact: Tell them when feels shocked, sad or upset,” she says. So talk about relationship with bereaved and a relationship with friends in service of a deceased. Say what you feel if thinking about them if it’s useful to share. One of the many moving stories in her book is that of Bill and Sally, whose 13-year-old son Matthew died of rare virus. Sally tells Julia losing her son has made her feel dead, no more expectations of life; so does not want to go on living. “I said quite plainly, although she was giving up on herself, I refused to; I would fight for her, held her and whispered hidden strength within her said, to live.’ Julia, in 50s, mother of 4 grown up children, grandmother of four, vivacious and fun: has time to feel recharged with life. You know it helps feeling of clients who like Sally regain joy to be alive again. Helps Julia’s interest in answering questions on experiences of traumatic loss to help open hearts for the healing process.17848

There are two sorts of loss, says Julia: expected loss and traumatic loss. And perhaps, for one in her profession, her own losses have all been expected ones. Her father died at 87, sad, grieved but it not traumatic loss. Bereavement work involves charity Birthright, Well-being of Wo/men made her aware of the pain of losing a baby although wonders was unconsciously influenced by parent’s loss of three parents and three siblings by the time they were 25. “Everything seemed OK, but thinks back aware of some unresolved grief. Almost only personal experience of a shocking, out-of-nowhere, loss figures such death brought loss closer and changed how to deal with grief. Julia was a close friend of Princess Diana, a connection echoed when asked by William and Kate to be a godmother to Prince George in 2013. That is, she says, a very joyful role lots of fun, and the chance to enjoy the little boy as he grows up but she doesn’t want to say much about it or Diana, save she agrees her death made difference to the nation’s approach to grief. So, too, she says, did other major shifts of history, especially the first and second world wars. “Our parents, parents of people of my generation, were the generation that couldn’t afford to grieve. Were parented by survivors of first world war simply to survive but modern luxury means able to deal with it differently.”traumaticbereavement-fullwidth

Despite public outpouring of grief after Diana’s death, doesn’t think most people are sufficiently aware impact traumatic bereavement has, the ripples it leaves or how long they persist. As someone who experienced a traumatic loss at the age of nine, when three-year-old sister was killed in road accident agrees with her analysis. It is 44 years since death, and shockwaves still reverberate in the family: everyone is different because of it, next generation touched by it in ways too subtle for them to fully understand.

Traumatic losses shape future of family as subject of great interest to Julia; so, is the way men and women deal with loss differently. Men, tend to want to move on to make plans, to focus on new horizons. Women on other hand want to spend more time remembering the person who died so want to immerse themselves in the pain. But the fact is, each can learn from others. “You have to do both things: you must have time to grieve and mourn and other time when you have break from the grief. You can create circumstances where you grieve, and circumstances where you move on; so men and women help one another. IMG_20180303_141134He can help her go for a walk to a park or gallery can help him talk about how he feels to express some of his loss.” The problems set in when individuals fails to understand the pattern of grief in the other; they think of them as selfish or they don’t care enough, but it isn’t about that due to the different ways of coping. Grieving is an intensely individual and incredibly lonely experience, which can make it difficult time in family, group of people going through something sparked by same event, but is in each case very differentThe way to cope, is be open in communicating feelings to others in your family. Families that fare best share feelings openly when a death disrupts complex finely tuned balance in a family. So needs a reorganised and open approach to help with process.”

At the beginning, and this is especially true of a traumatic loss, the grief is all-consuming: but over time, says Julia, you find you are starting to live again. The mistake some make, though, is believing they can go back to being the way they were. “Some people say, ‘This isn’t going to change us.’ But that’s not how it is: and it’s when you recognise that bereavement is a life-shattering experience, and that you have to grieve and rebuild, that you can move on positively into a new phase of life. originalYou don’t forget the person who’s gone; you can never do that, and you should not worry that you’re going to. But you keep them in memory so their loss helps you become a new person you become; and maybe in the end is greatest tribute to make to anyone who passed to Glory. Grief affects us all so hope in God and read HIS beautiful WORDS in Bible to guide prayers. Powerful scriptures will help you face feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is very normal to feel it is not really true the person is still alive soo will be at home, then in shock, angry they died, hoping the loved one comes back alive, realising they passed on into Glory and finally accepting loss and accepting new unexpected sudden sad changes of life. Crying, weeping, feeling low not eating properly, sad, confused, depressed are all part of feelings of pain, hurt of loss, bereavement, grieving and mourning. It is normal to feel helpless, lost without a loved one with deep sorrow and pain. One helpful action is remember a loved does not want your life destroyed and ruined because of them. They see you in heaven so like you to live and continue life despite feeling changes happening. There’s no shame in being sad. The life we’ve been given was never promised free of pain or sorrow so during times we hurt most run to God and HIS Word for peace and comfort. Psalm 117:7 says God cares about death of the righteous.listingbereavement-jesus-wept

Help from family and friends 

Listening. Be a friend who is prepared to give their time, to listen and to acknowledge the extent of your friend’s loss. Listening is the key. Bear witness, and allow your friend to be upset, to be confused and contradictory, or to say nothing at all. Every time they tell their story once more, or are allowed to say how important the person who has died was, burden of carrying pain on their own is incrementally a little lighter.

It’s not about you. Follow a mourner’s lead: they may not want to talk about their grief right now, or with you. It is good to say something to acknowledge their loss, but then let them have the control they need, they had none over death so choose to talk or not. If they ask you to come and be with them, and want to talk openly to you, go. If they truly don’t want a visit or don’t want to deal with it at that time, don’t force it on them. Don’t confuse need to speak, call, contact, with friend’s need of privacy to come to terms with grief. Some kings or or important dignitaries, leaders buried in secret. Deuteronomy 34:5-7, Numbers 27:13-28 says God buried Moses Himself without gravestone marker, headstone, monument remain unmarked, Israelites not have idol worship. So Moses’ eternal soul rests in peace buried in the Moab valley opposite Beth Peor near Mount Nebo from plains of Moab near top of Pisgah. None knows where Moses’ body buried, concealed in grave stops people flocking to idolise him. In Jude 1:9 angel fought with Michael over Moses’ body, only unique burial by God. Moses’ body soul, alive in Transfiguration met Jesus with Elijah alive from heaven on Mount in Matthew 27:1-10.

loss-300x225 (1)Mourning state of total shock and disorientation exempts you from performing actions requiring attention to detail. Time is given off work at least minimum of 2 weeks plus due holidays to grieve and mourn. Time is needed to sort out paper work, fill in forms and to notify various agencies of the departed. In mourning people wear symbolic or an appropriate colour suitable for the age of the departed. To be able to attend unhindered to funeral arrangements it is important to dress appropriately. The family decided obligated choice agreed on to help support family. Immediately following burial mourning the mourner does not listen to music, go to concerts, does not attend joyous events or parties unless absolutely necessary. If a date set prior to death strictly forbidden or to be postponed cancelled. Week-long period of grief mourning observance referred to by time to grief. During this period all mourners traditionally gather the home and receive visitors. Mourners refrain for a week from showering or bathing, wearing leather shoes, jewelry, shaving. Some communities cover mirrors in the mourner’s home so they not concerned about their personal appearance. It is customary for mourners to sit on low stools or even the floor, symbolic of the emotional reality of being “brought low” by grief. Meal of consolation first meal eaten on return from funeral consists of hard-boiled egg or other round oblong foods. Biblical hospitality means during this seven-day period, family, friends or colleagues visit and call on mourners to comfort them. Is considered great time of kindness, compassion to pay respects to visit the mourners. No greetings are exchanged, visitors wait for mourners to initiate conversation. Mourner is not obliged to engage in a conversation and may completely ignore his/her visitors. Visitors take on hosting role, attending to guests, bringing food and serving it to the mourning family. Mourning family avoids cooking or cleaning during this period. Those responsibilities become that of visitors to ease burden and pain.

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Acknowledgment. Death isn’t catching, but those who are bereaved might think so, judging by the fear they see in other people’s eyes. People are frightened about whether to come forward, about what to say, about saying the wrong thing so, in the end say nothing. All of that comes from a belief whatever you say should make things better but have enough wisdom to make the pain more bearable but you can’t or need to. Be kind enough to acknowledge them and their suffering is difficult enough. Offer to be there if they need you, suggesting that they should be the one to ring you, is probably asking too much of your friend at this time. It is better if you take the initiative and make contact, and then follow their lead: they may want to see or speak with you or not. Often, people don’t make contact because they feel they don’t know the bereaved person well enough. If you are erring one way or the other, better to err on the side of making contact.

Practical help. Doing practical things is often what really makes a difference. Don’t say, “Let me know if I can help”; actually do something helpful. At the beginning of a bereavement, there may be a lot of people around, so bringing food may be the best thing you can do. Taking food around for longer than the initial crisis is particularly appreciated.Traumatic-Bereavement-Ind1_m

Honesty. Be honest because honesty is comforting and easy to deal with. So direct honesty helps complex messiness of grief so an enormous relief to people. Be honest about what you actually can do rather than covering up because you feel guilty about what you can’t. And be specific to say, “I’m going to come round for half an hour” or come on Tuesday” don’t say, “I’ll come when you want, tell me, and I’ll be there”, and then find you can’t deliver on that offer.

Be sensitive. Being honest is important, as being sensitive. Promiscuous honesty is not a good idea. Be aware of showing too openly your life is trotting along as happily as can be, feels like you rubbing their nose in your happiness.

Be in it for the long haul. Remember to make contact and be supportive after everyone else has gone. Usually three months following the death, people get back to their lives, as they should. But it is by no means over for the person who is bereaved. Sending a text or popping is hugely supportive.Gay couple hugging and walking in park

Writing. Letters, cards, texts or emails: it doesn’t matter what you write – all are extremely helpful. It is better, however, to say that you don’t want a reply, because some people simply can’t respond. And it is never too late to send them. It is a welcome surprise to receive a card much later, because it is when everyone else has forgotten and your friend is still grieving. When you do write, try to make it personal and avoid tired cliches such as, “She’s had a good innings” or “Better to have loved and lost because they are trite in some way diminish personal importance of this very loved person who died. You don’t need to go into long explanations of why the person died or theological explorations about death; be loving and personal, warm and acknowledging.

RAPTURE ETERNAL RESURRECTION

Believers have assurance of eternal life in Christ so mourn with hope for their resurrection. In the Bible Jesus raised Lazarus from death, widow of Nain son, Peter raised Dorcas, Paul raised young man who fell dead sitting on a window ledge. The dead arose alive when Jesus was crucified and went into town seen by many people. We pray and ask GOD to raise loved one too in Jesus Name so thank God Jesus raised Lazarus. Bible says Christianity lasts beyond earthly life into heaven so mourn and grieve with hope in Jesus Christ. Christians call death falling asleep to pass into glory to be with God. Although grief pain hurts deeply and so feels tragic loss yet know future reunion family circle will be complete in heaven in the Presence of God Almighty. In the Rapture, the dead in Christ will first be resurrected to join those alive together to meet Christ in the clouds into heaven. The signs of the end times are predicted by Jesus in Matthew 24. So death is part of transition into eternal life although it is better to have loved ones on earth as members of a family, God calls them to higher service in heaven. Rest in peace safely beloved in the loving arms of God so no more sorrow, grief, pain, tears we love you and miss you terribly but God LOVES you more. We shall see you one day in Jesus Name for you are delivered because your name is found written in the BOOK OF LIFE according to Daniel 12:1-2. All asleep in Christ in dust of the earth wake to everlasting life in heaven in Glory in GOD’S PRESENCE. The Holy Spirit of God is our Comforter in times like these so we draw strength from the word of God to carry on in life in Jesus Name. GOD Our Father Comforts us too through His Love and Words of comfort from loved ones, friends and family. 

Extract from Grief Works by Julia Samuel

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