GOD SAID TAKE OFF JEWELS

15688799791249154926920231695478.jpgGod told Israel to take off jewelry ornaments by Mount Horeb in Exodus 33:6. Israelites told to strip themselves of their jewelry to stop wearing it due to their stiff neckedness that made God angry. God’s authority as gold provider  teaches them to be humble not insolent because they dress in luxury gold. God forced them to be accountable for their stiff necked behaviour in life to reflect on their actions. So must appear in deep mourning repent of their circumstances as God told Moses. They cried at the sad news Moses relayed but remorse requires practice of a demure, sombre, silence to signify sorrow, grief and regret. Luxury jewels, trinkets, ornaments taken off, hairstyle kept simple, covered or shaved to be humble in the sight of God. Some wear sandals or walk barefoot in sackcloth as sign of humility to seek face of God in prayer of repentance. Humble penitence pleases God if mankind strips off excess to lay themselves bare before God to enter HIS Presence in the temple in silence. Its a deep reflection to seek God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness to search their heart, soul in repentance. God’s decision is not cruelty but of pity and mercy of God’s concern and love for them to change. Faces must show grief, tears or grievous sighs, groaning, sobs pleading for remission of sins, promises of eternal life in Christ. God required Israelites to show true remorse in their appearance in anguish of souls at the foot of Mount Horeb. God warned them about their stiff-neckedness that results in punishment from God. Isaiah 2:19-22 in Bible says people hide in caves, holes, rocks in fear of the LORD’S GLORY and Majesty as HE rises to shake earth. 20 That day people will cast idols of silver, gold made to worship to moles and cave bats. Revelation 6:15-17 kings of the earth, princes, generals, rich, mighty, slave, free hide in caves of rocks, mountains. 16 They call mountains and rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of God who sits on the throne and from wrath of the Lamb. 17 The great day of wrath has come and who can stand God?”IMG-20190919-WA0000.jpgAs Revelation 6:15-17 says The kings of earth, princes, generals, rich, mighty, slave or free hide in caves among rocks of mountains. 16 They call on mountain and rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of God who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb. 17 The great day of wrath has come who can stand God?” God expects humility to see external physical norms associated with sadness or grief and sorrow. God told Moses to tell them to put off ornaments until God decides what to do with Israel to move on as God instructed Moses. This God’s command was to a “stiff neck” people in time of anger against their rebellion. It does not mean Christians must never wear gold. Neither are ornaments to be a centre of focus for wrong reasons of a negative attention seeking behaviour. In 1 Timothy 2:9 he warns Church women to dress in moderation compared to the vulgar outlandish costumes to draw an attention of moral decadence. In 1 Peter 3:3 the problems of affluence in Church meant adornment outwardly arranging the hair, wearing gold putting on fine apparels became competition to outdo each other to show off even in giving. It  is still an issue as Peter is talking about modesty in dress and moderation in all things. Jewelry is good as God adorns His Bride with jewels in prophecy living in Golden heavenly city bedazzled with precious jewel in New Heaven and New earth freely given to all those in Christ.15691430577836522483842083837573.jpgBut going and spending too much time preparing self with gold to look bizarre to impress to seduce in the presence of God’s house is at the heart of the matter. Gold is good to Glorify God at the heart of worship in Church in His Presence so is not fashion catwalk. Christians live in a world of luxury and decadence Peter warned of the danger of lack of modesty in adornment in the Church. A senseless extravagance to show off is not modesty to focus on God for their selfless service of goodness. Bible says Christians to be adorned modestly in humility. Timothy says ladies in church adorn your heart.  I Timothy 2:9 says wear modest apparel and be properly covered. In moderation use simple braid hair, gold, pearls not a costly clothing to show off wealth. These passages confirm the notion of stripping off fine jewels and rich clothes in times of deep grief and humiliation in Micah 1:8. To wail and howl; strip in sackcloth or simple clothes to make wailing sound of mourning required by a sincere grief. In Numbers 31:50 some gave offering to the LORD gold articles, armlet bracelets, signet rings earrings, necklaces to make atonement before the LORD. 51 Moses and Eleazar the priest accepted gold, all crafted articles. 52 from commanders of thousands, commanders of hundreds so Moses and Eleazar presented gifts to the LORD weighed 16,750 shekels. 53 From soldier’s plunder. 54 Moses and Eleazar the priest took gold to tent of meeting as memorial of Israelites before the LORD.15688437892126007227081830922345.jpgIMG-20190918-WA0010.jpg20190922_072843.jpgIMG-20190918-WA0011.jpg15691434028886680607314834921558.jpgIMG-20190918-WA0014.jpgGodly sorrow and mourning has a hope of eternal life and given precious jewels. Church is not a time for fashion parades to show off gold wealth. Or of changing clothes many times during sad funerals like a wedding feast. Costs thousands to those planning funeral to spend money after death but not in the lifetime. Deep grief or sorrow strips fineries of life in sadness for a season. God expects life to return to normal after the time of sorrow and grief. In 1 Samuel 19:24 the extreme deep devotional exercise of Saul under prophetic influence strips him bare before God. Israel is humbled by God. Ancient Jewish name יהוה of Jehovah’s Divine protection in a golden ornament used to make golden calf had consequence laying naked, defenceless. All ornaments or spiritual things of God commanded to lay off and to not wear symbols of Divine protection forfeited by transgression until after repentance. God said, “That I may know what to do to Israel” under God’s Divine protection shield is commanded to put aside. Many parted with ornaments put aside and later worn again. Lots of jewels, wives, daughters, sons of 600,000 men stripped to make golden calf. Rest of ornaments later used in Tabernacle furnishing so much people were asked to stop giving it became too much in Exodus 36:5-6. A lesson here is not to put confidence in gold wealth, riches but put confidence in God. Whoever lost gold or riches God is able to restore a 100 fold in this life and in eternal life to come in heaven.

GOD & MOSES FACE TO FACE

CHILDREN SIGNS&WONDERS

1556533286134-1635185667.jpgChildren are for signs and wonders from God to Glorify God and to help in society. Families need to understand Jesus loves and values all children in all nations. Children are the gifted assets to parents and women do what is beyond comprehension as childbearers. Women are absolutely celebrated as co-creators with God contributing to life cycle and replenish earth. Fulfil God’s command to mulitiply and bear fruit from seed of man and egg of woman is the gift of life. Adults love their children and children love their parents. God’s word says train and teach children Godly values of love, selfrespect, good manners and etiquette for appropriate interaction with others. The value of life is priceless and preserved with dignity even if differences exists by diversity or perspectives. Children are precious to God, Jesus loves little children allowed in His company with their parents and in meetings to learn about God. This is priority in life highly endorsed by God for salvation in the Kingdom of God. 1557243794465-1635185667.jpgSimeon dedicated Jesus to God in the Temple and blessed Him. Simeon said to Mary His mother, “Behold, this Child is appointed for a fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign about a sword piercing Mary’s soul. Hidden thoughts from many hearts will be revealed in Luke 2:34-35. Jesus brings changes to all who accept Him. Simeon’s prophesy is Jesus will be “a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and for GLORY to God’s people Israel in Luke 2:32. Jesus brings ruin in Israel of people like Simeon who worship in the Temple destroyed. Mary is told of literal piercing of her soul due suffering and pain of Jesus she endures. John wrote of the piercing of Jesus’ side after His death in prophesy fulfillment. So emotional turmoil Mary experienced are all treasured things pondering them in her heart in Luke 2:19, 50-51. Messiah Jesus arrived as Simeon was waiting all his life to see the “consolation of Israel.”1557243187090-1635185667.jpgJesus in the Temple during the Passover impressed the learned Synagogue and priests while doing the business of His Father God. But has created upheavals disturbing people in Israel, including mother of Messiah. Her pain is thought losing Jesus unmarried, compassionate son executed for the crimes He did not commit in His life brings Mary pain. A mother to all and His brothers standing outside desiring to see Him, answered, “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do in Luke 8:19-21. Simeon’s prophesy comforts her like all mothers who embrace all children as their own. Jesus is a child destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel and a sign so that thoughts of many hearts are revealed.” Peter denied Jesus three times as Judas betrayed him, Pharaseees, Saduccees lied about Him and, people healed and helped voted crucify Him. These are the some thoughts of many hearts revealed.1556578915698-1635185667.jpgToday’s society needs to build a sound foundation from an early childhood like Jesus to grow and apply good values. A child without sound foundation in God is at the mercy of any man-made ideas that do cannot fulfill the void reserved exclusively to be filled only by God. The strong bond created in child connects to God and great reward to bless the child. Father God is the patent owner creator of humans with privileged access in the hearts and minds of children. They are never too young to understand agape LOVE of God for them at any level. The Sunday schools and school assemblies are essential for nurturing their spirit and minds in God in Christ if Christians.1557234117641-1635185667.jpg Placing emphasis on only the academic achievement at an expense of wellbeing lacks growth and the deeper hope for a meaningful life. Focus on only aesthetic external physical appearance or looks, price tag designer labels and superficial ideas deprive them of inner peace and inner strength in God. Some think they are worth the price tag, under pressure to be the first to be seen in those latest most expensive clothing. And gadgets to show off to get ‘street credit respect’ is the cause of competition to impress. A child worries more about external label than contents of character and effects of behaviour on others. Playing games are other sources of addiction they resort so buy the series to play without focussing more on academic excellence. These are some of the challenges facing a society desperate to create the perfect utopia of an academic achievement league table. pictures-jesus-photos-images-jesus-christ.jpgChildren are stressed in the class system society which thinks some are of higher value so deserve better treatment than others deprived. Children bear brunt of doing without a proper meal or sleep to their detriment. Peering children early to socialise them creates us versus them postcode society with a lack of trust for adults separated from them. Parents are too busy chasing money to provide for children often emotionally and socially retarded. Such explosive children feel a right of entitlement without a common sense of the due diligence and care for other people. They are not allowed to be corrected by parents so grow up with an attitude of disregard for Authority and the significant others in charge of them. Some feel like victims despite the privilege compared to other children all over the world. 1556578302852-1635185667.jpgAnd permanently angry, ungrateful and unthankful to the parents who sacrifice time, effort and resources to make their lives better than previous generations. So never content want more and more even if they have abundance beyond an average child globally. Not allowed to be part of family work ethic are made lazy by addiction to games or substance abuse to numb their perceived pains of life. Unrealistic demands to be perfect to fit in with friends causes damage to children growing mimicking adults yet without adult maturity and experience. Jesus warned about these behaviours during the last days of unruly children out of control and a menace to society. IMG-20190409-WA0005.jpgThere is need for rewriting foundation for early years to develop children like Finland to nurture and to protect them from vultures of society. Each time the children hurt each other or the others, accusing fingers are pointed at them without recognising the root of these problems created by society. Parents are treated as lazy for spending quality time with their children. Schools are so understaffed short of budgets education has become position on league table. So naming and shaming them than proper training to prepare children to become self-sufficient to have good success in life. Education, academic performance is only 20% of life so the rest 80% must be taught to prepare people to cope. It’s deception to make education end in life because of billions of educated people unemployed, exist on debt in the world.IMG-20190329-WA0000.jpg Their miseducations deprives children of practical survival skills and essential spatial knowledge. It frustrates young people without ability to farm, garden, do practical hands on life work due to misconception that is a blue collar job beneath them. Older generations piggy back them for life to help them make it but unaware of sacrifices involves and unwilling to support them in old age. So feel too sophisticated to live within their budget to give back to parents seen as a nuisance to their luxury pleasures of life. Honour parents and adults to bring blessings and so it is well with you to live long. A wise person receives good advise to be a wiser person in life but the Bible says the fool gets angry and hates you for advising them. Be kind in all you do towards others because it is seeds sown God sends back to you years later when you do not remember those past years. Life is beautiful and simple to understand because God creates all things beautiful in HIS OWN time. You came individual in this world and will face God alone to give an account of yourself no matter who is backing you in life. The ideas children have must be guided with patience to educate them about the real world. Their perspective may seem superficial but with support and guidance helped to develop better as audacious, bold, confident, resilient people with good success. Some want good things of life not understanding the years behind the scenes preparing through hard work. The end result seen is after years of toiling, sacrifices and sweat. It is necessary to teach children value for time, value for life to be who they truly are with humility, selfrespect without ego attitude problems. Children need incredible encouragement of hope.IMG-20190427-WA0000.jpgIMG-20190428-WA0000.jpgChildren are part of a bigger society that expects the best from them. Investment of quality time spent with their family is essential to bond with them. Above all is to teach them to love themselves first, to have agape love for all others. Kindness, Mercy is far better than cruelty, anger and hatred which destroys person. The society’s excuse is to blame government for lack of funds for youth centres but a need exists to talk to children at home as individuals too. They need their love and support that makes them trust their family more than naive friends. God is LOVE so Spirit of God’s LOVE POWER in you enables you to help children to feel loved and part of society. Abandoned by the system many rely on themselves to make wrong choices and decisions. The fact that they are clothed, fed, have own bedroom, latest gadgets is not enough to meet their emotional needs of peace, joy acceptance if adults too busy to interact one to one with them daily. There is no excuse for not helping them young and consistently with their hobbies at home, music, piano lessons. Parents can afford other things but complain of inability to invest in future of their own children. It is time redesign educational foundation to include interests of children not force them to study subjects they hate. Most are under stress or pressure to perform take their anger on others. Society plays part in responsibility for how they turn up as adults. 

 

JESUS DIED YET LIVES AGAIN

1543059257517-452672964.jpgwp-1555524314418..jpg1555536913831513078032.jpgwp-1555518967211..jpgwp-1555518777604..jpg1555553758796513078032.jpgwp-1555525141218..jpgwp-1555518340704..jpgwp-1555524854505..jpg1555536565085513078032.jpgwp-1555520200378..jpgwp-1555519308385..jpg1555588304739570340261.jpg1555588702388513078032.jpg1555588134787513078032.jpgwp-1555519852373..jpg1555553473314-689469692.jpg1555552766626513078032.jpgwp-1555519568424..jpgwp-1555520021543..jpgIMG_20190418_131626.jpgwp-1555520515351..jpgwp-1555526648379..jpg1555530492682-689469692.jpg1555587408651-689469692.jpg1555554738830513078032.jpgwp-1555523892940..jpg1555530128054513078032.jpg1555535479400513078032.jpgwp-1555528420644..jpgwp-1555529423759..jpgwp-1555528809169..jpg1555538259811570340261.jpg1556051753021-1635185667.jpgJohn looked and saw a great multitude none can count from all nations tribes, people and languages standing before Throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes with palm branches in their hands saying with loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on Throne and the Lamb in Revelation 7:9-10. Jesus is the Lamb of God who took away the sins of the world on the Cross. He paid to ransom people for God from all tribes, languages, peoples, nations in Revelation 5:9. Christ suffered and died to give victory to old martyrs of Revelation 6:11 given white robe told to wait for the Great tribulation martyrs in 3:4 whose robes are made white in the BLOOD of the Lamb in 7:14. Christ’s death on the Cross for sinners cleans all sins in 1 John 1:7. With palm branches in their hands enjoy joyous celebrations in the PRESENCE of God and the Lamb of God. Their robes are made white in BLOOD of the Lamb, Christ’s death and resurrection against God’s Wrath repent of sins. Believe in Lord Jesus Christ from all nationalities or cultural backgrounds join together by love of God and Jesus. Give your life to Jesus Christ and invite Him to take control of your life, repent and ask Jesus to forgive all your sins in Jesus Name with thanks and Glory to God Almighty.

 

WHEN WILL CLOCK CHANGE

When did the clocks go back?

This year’s clocks go back early hours of Sunday October 28; at 2am, UK reverts to Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) by goes back one hour, to 1am. This marks the official end of British summertime. A clever way to remember hour-change is “Spring forward, Fall back.” Relish extra 60 minutes in bed so mornings will be lighter for now, at least but the evenings will be darker. The event means making plans for the day despite prevalence of smartphones and other devices to alter time automatically, there is always one person who didn’t get the message.

When infernal darkness ends?

We won’t see lighter nights again until Sunday March 31st 2019, when clocks will wind forward at 1am and British Summer Time begins.

How dark UK gets in winter?

In the UK the maximum 16 hours and 50 minutes of daylight falls on longest day in June known as summer solstice. On shortest day, Thursday December 21, this dwindles to seven hours and 49 minutes when the sun rises at 8:03am and sets at 3:53pm in London.

Daylight Saving Idea Origin?

Edwardian builder William Willett introduced the idea of British Summer Time, also known as Daylight Saving Time, in 1907. Willett is a great-great-grandfather of Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin. A keen supporter of the outdoors, he noticed that during the summer people were still asleep when the sun had risen and wanted to stop Brits from wasting valuable daylight hours. Clocks were set to the Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) meaning light by 3am and dark at 9pm midsummer. So Willett published pamphlet called ‘The Waste of Daylight‘ to get people out of bed earlier by changing the nation’s clocks, arguing it will improve health and happiness so save country £2.5 million. He proposed the clocks be advanced by 80 minutes in four incremental steps during April and reversed same way during September. His idea was ridiculed and the Daylight Saving Bill got nowhere in Parliament but introduced in 1909. Willett, was not deterred. He spent the rest of his life trying to convince people his scheme was a good one. Sadly, he died of the flu in 1915 at the age of 58; a year before Germany adopted his clock-changing plan on April 30, 1916 when clocks were put forward at 11pm. Britain followed a month later on May 21 and Belgium, Denmark, France, Italy, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Sweden, and Turkey all followed. William Willett laid outserious proposition for daylight saving scheme. Britain and Germany had been fighting each other in the First World War (1914-18), and a system that could take pressure off economy and conserve fuel worth trying. So Summer Time Act of 1916 was quickly passed by Parliament and the first day of British Summer Time, 21 May 1916, was widely reported in the press. Back then hands on some clocks can’t turn back without breaking mechanism. Owners put the clock forward by 11 hours as Summer Time came to an end on 1 October 1916.

The Home Office put out special posters telling people how to reset their clocks to GMT and national newspapers also gave advice. Willett, died at his home near Bromley in Kent,  commemorated for his efforts by a memorial sundial in nearby Petts Wood, set permanently to Daylight Saving Time. The Daylight Inn in Petts Wood is named in his honour and there’s a road there called Willett Way. Willett wasn’t alone in realising the potential of utilising wasted daylight hours. As far back as 1784, Benjamin Franklin, one of America’s Founding Fathers, wrote a letter to the Journal of Paris making fun of fact people sleeping through daylight and burning candles and fuel for light at night. Franklin even suggested tax on shuttered windows or public alarm clocks to solve problem.

Time changes body clock British Summer Time ends on SundayBritish Summer Time ends Sunday 28th October affects moods: SAD disorder is Seasonal Affective Disorder one of the most depressing days of the year. When clocks go back the British Summer Time ends evenings darker hour earlier. Does it make much difference? From 1968 to 1971, the UK experimented with British Standard Time the permanent summer time was used all year. Trevor Harley, a psychologist, in his book The Psychology of Weather recalls in native Scotland he felt like “it was perpetually dark. Its bad enough when sunrise around 9am, but 10am is grim prospect in winter.” It led to more traffic accidents during darker mornings, but fewer accidents in the evenings. Overall, about 2,500 fewer people were killed due to clock change.

Time difference of one hour?

Today clocks are almost always set one hour back or ahead, but in history there were several variations, half adjustment (30 minutes) or double adjustment (two hours), adjustments of 20 or 40 minutes used. A two-hour adjustment was used in several countries during 1940s and elsewhere at times. A half adjustment is used in New Zealand in the first half of the 20th century. Australia’s Lord Howe Island (UTC+10:30) of DST schedule in which clocks are moved 30 minutes forward to UTC+11, which is Australian Eastern Daylight Time (AEDT) during DST. In 1940 during the Second World War, the clocks in Britain were not put back by an hour at the end of Summer Time. Years, later clocks continued to be advanced by one hour each spring and put back by an hour each autumn until July 1945. During summers Britain was two hours ahead of GMT and operating on British Double Summer Time (BDST). The clocks were brought back in line with GMT at the end of summer in 1945. In 1947, due to fuel shortages, clocks were advanced by one hour on two occasions during the spring, and put back by one hour on two occasions during the autumn, means that Britain was back on BDST during that summer.

 

Ditching Daylight Saving Time?

Those who want change say it’s not clear if any energy savings are made, while there are also potential health risks. Critics claim the darker mornings are dangerous for children walking to school and the energy saving argument may be invalid if people switch on fans and air-conditioning units during the lighter, warmer evenings. But unlikely to bother people in the UK. In 2011, Tory MP Rebecca Harris floated a bill calling for year-round daylight savings but failed to complete passage through Parliament before the end of the session and was dropped. A YouGov poll same year found 53pc of Britons supported moving clocks an hour permanently while 32pc opposed the change. The proposals were met less warmly by the Scottish population; Alex Salmond called campaign to “plunge Scotland to morning darkness” and SNP colleague MP Angus MacNeil said any change has “massive implications for the safety and wellbeing of everyone living north of Manchester. “It is no secret Tories in the south want to leave Scotland in darkness but fixing clocks to British summertime means the dawn wouldn’t break in Scotland until nearly 9am,” he said. He had a point. Following a 1968 to 1971 trial, BST employed all year round northern Scotland saw a net increase in the number of people killed or seriously injured. The sun wouldn’t rise fully until 10am in parts of Scotland and the country’s 1,000-or-so dairy farmers, who wake up before 5am, would have to work for hours in the dark. Other farmers and construction workers, who need sunlight to perform their jobs, would end up having to work later into the evening. Some folks keen to reach a compromise have suggested the clocks change at Hadrian’s Wall and not at Calais. Philip Broom writing on the National Farmer’s Union website in 2011 said: “A definite no. Combining will not start until midday and then have to go on until 11 o’clock. Our day is long enough now.” ‘A Thomas’ writing on the NFU site, was worried “younger people having loud parties or barbecues in gardens and youths hanging around on streets make itnightmare for people getting up for work early mornings.”

A massive wind-up for some…

Spare a thought for the staff of the Royal Collection. They spend over 50 hours adjusting over 1000 clocks spread across the official residences of The Queen. Following months of planning, staff at Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle and the Palace of Holyroodhouse in Edinburgh start work in the early hours of the morning to ensure that the time is set accurately. There are 379 timepieces at Windsor Castle, 500 at Buckingham Palace and 80 at the Palace of Holyroodhouse including organ clocks, astronomical clocks, musical clocks and mechanical clocks. 

Why keep Daylight Saving Time

There have been various trials over the decades from double summer time (GMT + 2 hours) during Second World War to permanent British Summer Time (GMT + 1 hour) during late 1960s but the current system of changing the clocks at the end of March and October has been in place since 1972. Those in favour say that it would reduce traffic accidents, save energy, boost tourism and encourage more people to exercise outdoors. In the 1980s, the golf industry estimated one extra month of daylight savings could generate up to $400 million (£246.6 million) a year in extra sales and fees. Daylight Savings Time “affects everything from terrorism to the attendance at London music halls, voter turnout to street crime, gardening to profits of radio stations,” said David Prerau, author of Saving the Daylight: Why We Put the Clocks Forward. This debate stretches years into the past, and the future of British time is still unclear.

Sandringham Time GMT/30mins

Added complication for Royal servants between the years 1901 to 1936 was the concept of ‘Sandringham Time’ which was introduced in by Albert, Prince of Wales, later King Edward VII. A keen fan of shooting, he wanted to make the most of winter daylight, so he ordered all clocks on the estate to be set half an hour fast. The tradition was continued by King George V after he acceded to the throne in 1925 but King Edward VIII abolished it in 1936 shortly before his abdication Sandringham House

Coping With The Time Changes

  1. When the clocks first go back, mornings are lighter so ensure bedrooms are kept dark with blinds or curtains.
  2. Alter bedtime by around 10 minutes over a few days beforehand to adjust to the new time.
  3. Maintain bedtime routines. Get ready for bed in the same order e.g pyjamas on, tooth brushing, bedtime story.
  4. Turn off all screens at least an hour before bedtime.
  5. Offer a milky, warm drink to encourage sleepiness and avoid stimulating food and drink just before sleep.
  6. Make sure all the clocks are correct.

MEN’S EXPRESSED FEELINGS

James Livitski, a Canadian graphic designer, says men should be able to talk about their feelings

Men’s expressed feelings of masculinity of life as a man is not always easy James Livitski Canadian graphic designer says. Men should be able to talk about their feelings without feeling ‘weak’ and ‘not in control.’ Stories of the difficulties of modern women are often told, but how much do you read about the downsides of being a man? This searingly honest conversation unfolded online this week as men shared the negative impact of “toxic masculinity” on their lives. It was a rare chance for many to express how society expects men’s toughness, sexual virility and emotional reserve that lead to isolation, loneliness or just feelings of being uncomfortable around mates. It all started when British columnist and feminist Caitlin Moran put out a call for men on Twitter to talk about drawbacks of being guy today. We spoke to people sharing their thoughts and feelings. A Super Bowl of feelings unfold as James Livitski, Toronto, Canada was really so happy to see topic widely talked about on Twitter. He said, I’ve been saying this forever that there’s a stigma about men talking about feelings. We’re born into thinking a man should be ‘tough,’ push feelings aside because it isn’t ‘manly.’James Livitski, 32James Livitski, 32, sees countless times the impact of social norms that men should not be emotional or vulnerable. “I’ve heard of many relationships end because the man can’t express the way he feels. “We need to be more open to listening to how a man is feeling and push more for them to understand that it’s OK to feel things.” Although his own dad is a “really sensitive man”, he says that many are not taught how do that without fear they will be judged. “We’re all humans and we all feel. You should never be afraid to say what is on your mind. Men should have a Super Bowl for feelings,” he suggests. Increased attention has been paid to men’s mental health in recent years. British Men have the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) aims to challenge a culture that prevents men seeking help when they need it, highlighting that in Britain the single biggest killer of men under 45 is suicide. Men and women experience many of the same mental health issues, but men with depression or anxiety may hide emotions and express anger or aggression instead, according to the US National Institute of Mental Health.

Missed connections

Pressure is men who express their love for family or friends as feminine and emasculated, according to Phil Chan, a digital artist from California. “My dad never told me he loved me, even though I know he does. He did not hug me even now in his eighties I will love to hear it.”Phil Chan: Phil Chan: “I think #Metoo movement opened up communications between genders.“After I told my closest friends how I feel about them, if, it brought us closer together. We hug on a regular basis!” Phil also explained that when caring for his baby nephew, women in public would assume he was clueless about looking after an infant. At a party with his nephew, a group of women criticised him, giving instructions on how to “properly” change and hold the baby. He worries this negatively affects men’s hopes about fatherhood. “I think if men might to be more vulnerable, we could be more compassionate and empathetic,” he suggests.Mark is a software developer in Sydeny, AustraliaMark is a software developer in Sydney, Australia. Mark Pursey, 46, suggests that men find it difficult to foster friendships if they meet a new person. In contrast to men many women who enthusiastically exchange contact information. “I have definitely got a mental list of ‘missed connections’ where I met some guy at a random event got on really well. It’s like ‘see you later dude’ and we never meet again.” He says that in many cases this overwhelmingly leads to loneliness and isolation. Mark says that’s because men are “not learning the emotional labour stuff”, adding, “we like to show off but not put in the boring maintenance work in relationships. “It’s like we still need play dates organised for us.”

Sexual virility

Another issue talked about is men feeling uncomfortable when peers blatantly check out or sexualize women, commenting on their appearance. “It can get toxic easily, and as a guy we’re expected to contribute. It’s happened a lot and it’s so uncomfortable. Just being around that conversation makes me feel dirty,” commented Alan Gretch, 21, from the US state of Nebraska.Alan is completing a Masters in human services to become a counsellorAlan is completing a Masters in human services to become a counsellor. Alan says these conversations are common especially when there are no women around: “They range from ‘this person is hot’ to more graphic descriptions of girls.” He says it’s difficult to challenge men when the conversations begin. “It’s bully, be bullied, or stay silent. It’s a no win situation,” Alan explains. Anxiety about expectations of sexual virility was raised by many contributors on Twitter. “The idea if you’re not: drinking heavily, trying to shag everything moves, living and breathing sport, solving problems with violence, competing with other men to be the ‘alpha’, then you’re not a man,” wrote Neil Walsh. Another user added assumptions of sexual advances are often made when he tries to be “just friends” with women, adding “Yes I know there are very good reasons for this.”

I don’t want to be daddy

Gin Lowdean, in Edinburgh, Scotland, revealed that her four-year-old son told her he doesn’t want to be a dad when he grows up. Instead he’s “excited to be a mummy.” When Gin pointed out most men don’t become mothers, he became sad because “Daddies have to work all the time, they never get to dance and nobody hugs them.” Gin explained that she was shocked because her husband is very affectionate with his sons, but she presumes her son picked up idea from nursery and television. “His dad was devastated, he hugs him all the time and loves to dance,” she explained, adding that to try to rectify the issue by purchasing books about how to express feelings of stories, challenge traditional masculinity. Express yourself honestly, be polite, straight to the point, upfront with feelings. Its vital learn to talk to the person because individual differences show people hear things from their own point of view. See yourself in another’s shoes before you speak, text, telephone, call or write them letter. Your goal is be friends, acquaintances, colleagues, date or marry. Be specific so your motive is clearly expressed directly not to belittle or blackmail, manipulate or abuse their emotions. Women are very sensitive to words and so remember to be careful what you say because they never forget the details of conversations. No matter how long ago, women remember where conversations take place, when it took place, what worn and tone of voice and moods. Women pay particular attention to details, colours, shapes, sizes, context and your choices of meals, drinks etc. So do not talk out of frustration or anger to offload and dump feelings on others for relief. Respect differences, be pragmatic and agree to disagree when feelings are not mutual. Consider effects of feelings on others if you really care about them you must compromise and find neutral ground to corporate. If shy, looking for the love of your life, approach a trusted reliable friend, family member, pastor, life coach, mentor or counsellors to seek advice. God created marriage so if you need a relationship and desire spouse to marry pray, ask God’s help for wisdom, guidance, direction because God says to find a wife is a good thing. God said it’s not good to be alone so pleases God you meet a right partner to marry. Its Gods idea you marry so ask HIS HELP not go to psychics or witchdoctors to give you charm, potions, lotions, spells to destroy your life, home, career business creates discord. GOD IS LOVE so BEST Expert on love, relationship, family matters.

 

Twitter post by @caitlinmoran

“I do think if us men were ta

Georgina Rannard, UGC & Social News

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