DEALING WITH LONELINESS

wp-1578499253965.jpgI lifted my windshield wiper to retrieve a frozen pink rose on a cold Valentine’s Day years ago. A freshman in college, I stopped by my car to eat a snack after a morning class. And excitedly wondered who sent me this surprise as my heart pounded in anticipation. Starting up the engine for warmth, I rubbed my palms together and opened the attached card. The rose was from my mother and her words in the card is kind, encouraging, so why did I still feel empty inside? The truth is, I wished the rose was from a secret admirer. A young man, not my mother. My last date spaced far after a previous one I longed for romance to fill me up. My loneliness combined into a frustrating mixture like a cup with no bottom. No matter what I put inside the cup, I didn’t feel full. Roses, chocolates, books, TV shows, fantasies relationships couldn’t fill it. Loneliness seemed to be the only thing filling a bottomless space, and I am weary of its constant haunting presence. My parents divorced when I was 4 years old, the day my daddy left was a day loneliness took up permanent residence in my heart and mind; though I wished it will go away I had no power to push it out the door loneliness lingers on every time I crave love and attention from people’s love its in short supply.wp-1578512659626.jpgIn high school, I developed resentment over flowers and gifts I saw lined up in the cafeteria every February 14. None of them were for me. I believed the devil’s whispered lie, None of them will ever be for you. You’ll always be lonely. About 15 years after that frozen-rose morning, I sat in a counselor’s office. Listening to my stories of constant loneliness, he said, “Relationships are very important to you, aren’t they?” It was his simple, judgment-free question that became a pivotal point in my spiritual journey. A few days after counseling session, God nudged me with a new idea: Perhaps its relationships too important to me yet I was a wife, mother of three and a friend to many, I still felt lonely. God showed me truth to learn from HIS Word: “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in people” says Psalm 118:8. For far too long, I looked to people to fill me up. My husband, children, best friend, small group companions couldn’t remove my loneliness. They were never designed to completely fill my needs and I realized only God could is my refuge so my safe place and my salvation.wp-1577904684292.jpgThough people are wonderful, they are not infinite so are not always available when we need them, and none of them provide perfect understanding. God is infinite Revelation 1:8, everpresent says Deuteronomy 31:6 and all-knowing says 1 Chronicles 28:9. As we study His ways, we learn God is ready, able and willing to fill us with HIS LOVE. We learn this best by hiding in HIS place of refuge so the more time I spent in God’s presence, the less I depended on relationships to meet all my needs. My time with loved ones became bonuses on top of loving intimacy I enjoyed with Jesus. No longer required evident proof of a human love on Valentine’s Day or any other day. God is our refuge in lonely times and more than enough proof He loves us. Yet some inherit loneliness from mothers Angel KissiAngel Kissi says she has struggled with loneliness since she a child so do we inherit loneliness from our parents in the same way we inherit our hair and eye colour? Two women explain how loneliness played a part in their lives and how it relates to their parents and children. “Loneliness is constant. No matter where I am, it just doesn’t go away. It’s like you can feel it in your bones, this deep feeling of wanting to fit in and wanting to be around people you know and love, but you can’t. “I do think I inherited it. It’s kind of been passed on to me. Angel Kissi and her mum Hayley, struggle with anxiety, depression and loneliness. Her mum’s spark by severe post-natal depression in Angel, it started when she was a child. “My family stood out in Peterborough. Everyone knew who we were because we look different. I’m tall and mixed race and I stood out,” says the 20-year-old. “When I went to university, things were good but I still felt like I didn’t fit in. I thought moving to London would change it but it didn’t. “I felt like I was quiet and awkward. I struggled to connect with people, make friends straight away. Some go out for drinks after class, I was never invited. I felt like I was doing something wrong. I stopped going to lectures, get up, ready to go and go back to bed. I avoid going to shared areas of my flat, I shut myself away and isolated myself. I went into the loneliness and let it take over.”Angel and HayleyHayley struggle with anxiety depression and loneliness after Angel was born. So unable to cope, Angel left the university before first year was over. She felt a strong desire to go home and be close to her mum rented a room close-by. “It’s good we don’t live together because we bring each other up, down all the time. She helped me with some aspects of my mental health but at times I didn’t want to speak to her because I didn’t want to make her worse. “If she was different, I will be different. I don’t blame her at all, she didn’t choose to be like this, it’s not her fault. It’s something I have got from her. Personality traits or attitudes I’ve learnt from her without meaning to.”Angel Kissi struggled with loneliness from a young age According to Age UK, loneliness is defined as feeling a lack of affection, closeness or social interaction with others.The charity Mind says it is not a mental health issue but research says its associated with increased risk of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and stress triggered by major life events of bereavement, relationship break-ups or retirement, changing jobs and moving. Dr Rebecca Nowland, who researched the subject of loneliness said it can be passed down in families. “I don’t think we will find a gene for loneliness but it’s response to an experience of loneliness that may be genetic,” she said. “There is a number of studies that loneliness is hereditary so runs in families and there might be associations between parent’s loneliness and a child’s loneliness. The parented who has been in a lonely state for some time might transmit some of the negative feelings of negativity might be happening than their experience of loneliness itself.”Kirsty and sonKirsty McGrath fears passing feelings of loneliness to her children. Kirsty McGrath thinks loneliness was problem for her after her son was born five years ago. She tried going to mother and baby groups to make new friends but a struggle to organise play dates so found herself increasingly isolated. Although her husband supports her in evening, she finds daytimes difficult because she is alone and has no-one to talk to. The 33-year-old teacher, lives in Eltham, south London says she is worried of not being able to socialise her children will have an effect on them. She might pass own feelings of loneliness, described as a “grey cloud.“I am paranoid of passing it on to the kids, I wouldn’t be surprised if I did. I am aware of so I want them to feel comfortable around others and not feel like they don’t fit in. “My son came home from school and said to me he did not have friends and he hasn’t played with anyone. I’m worried he is like this because of me didn’t put him in enough social situations to know how to mix with others.” Loneliness is the common experience among new parents finding groups with shared interests to focus on new parenting skill way to cope says Dr Nowland. Dr Faruq Fazal a GP worked in mental health services on loneliness sats people lack a support network and believes teaching coping skills in school could help. “Nobody really teaches you how to cope through life’s challenges. For those suffering from loneliness, it’s not just about physically having people around you, it’s when you feel you’re not able to talk to people and you don’t have any emotional support,” he says. “I see people don’t have a support network so their coping strategy is gone.” Do not isolate yourself from family or friends.Child and parent holding handsExperts say parents may transmit their feelings to their children. Mind suggests a number of ways to manage loneliness, includes peer support talking therapies. Dr Nowland says seeking professional advice can help those stuck in a cycle of behaviour brought about by loneliness. “Loneliness leaves you with emotional feeling quite painful and distressing. If someone is lonely and they felt it for a long time but realising it’s not ok helps overcome developed negative thought patterns. “You need help with cognitive behaviour therapy to help you think and reframe things.” Angel’s counselling helped with anxiety but not helped with her feelings of loneliness. She returned to university but decided to focus on her mental health, work, and learning to drive. “Loneliness is different from anxiety and it’s different from not being able to make friends,” she says. “Anxiety isolates but loneliness felt at university separate from people in your own little world. “I’m in a relationship and close to my family but loneliness is still there. Overall, things improve a lot, but I don’t know if it’s ever going to go.” A Mayor inundated with lonely citizens appoints specialist councillor says, ‘Bureaucracy dehumanises so we are becoming living robots,’ is mayor of a small Italian town.Antonella Argenti, mayor of Villa del Conte in the Veneto region.The mayor of a small town in northern Italy appointed a loneliness councillor being overwhelmed by citizens calling to discuss their problems. So Antonella Argenti elected mayor of Villa del Conte, town of 5,400 people in Veneto region, in May last year noted some inhabitants struggling to cope “You wouldn’t believe it,” she told La Stampa. “In the first few months of my mandate, so many people came to see me. All, young, old, wo/men, complained about problems of the same type of loneliness, the lack of a support network. “Alone with phone take care of bills talk to the automated switchboard refers you to yet other recorded voices. Relationships are missing. Bureaucracy dehumanise all becoming living robots. The Pescueza village in Spain with 130 people with two thirds over 65 years old is adapted to care and provide for their needs. Rails attached to walls to hold on to while walking out and about, slipfree floor to ensure the don’t slip and fall. Its said they are given phones to press red button for emergency needs urgently attended to. They are fed, their clothes are washed for them and transport sent to those who find walking challenging. They have a daycentre where they meet to socialise and a gym tailored to their needs to exercise daily. 20200215_113722

Lord, thank You for never abandoning me in my lonely times. I confess I have tried too hard to fill up my lonely spaces with relationships or things that can never fill me up. Remind me when I hide away in my safe place with You, I will experience Your perfect peace. Meet me in my loneliness with Your loving presence. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY:

Psalm 118:8-9 Its better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in people so put your CONFIDENCE IN GOD.

Jeremiah 17:5-8, Thus says the LORD God, Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength so he heart departs from the LORD God.

Psalm 59:17, “O God my Strength, to you I sing praises, O God, my refuge, shows me unfailing love”

Psalm 142:5, “I pray to you, O LORD. I say, ‘You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life above all things”

RELATED RESOURCES:
If you need help to overcome lies satan whispers to you? Grab a copy of Sarah Geringer’s book, Transforming Your Thought Life: Christian Meditation in Focus.

CONNECT:
Sarah writes about loneliness, healing, and finding peace in God’s Word at sarahgeringer.com.

REFLECT AND RESPOND:
Which days cause loneliness to haunt you most? How can you turn to God as your refuge in those lonely times? Share your ideas in our comments section.

Reblogged with images

© 2020 by Sarah Geringer.

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PEOPLE TACKLING POVERTY

Micah Lammie sitting in car

Photo exhibition showcases the people tackling the impact of poverty in 21st Century Britain. The focus of the new exhibition showcases those trying to help their struggling neighbours. And four people making a difference in their communities explain how they became involved.

‘I want to be a spark in the plug’


Micah Lammie says he learned from everyone in his community

Battersea and Brixton helped shape Micah Lammie into the man he is today, so now he is repaying the debt. “Life was difficult as a kid from a one-parent family,” the 30-year-old said. “I was defiant and in a lot of trouble at school. It takes a village to raise a child so I didn’t just learn from my parents, I learned from everyone in community. “Those are things I want to continue on, raising our next generation.” He initially found work in call centres then a chance encounter at a funeral with Brixton Soup Kitchen founder Solomon Smith gave him his true calling.Micah Lammie close upA chance meeting saw him end up at the Brixton Soup Kitchen. “I’ve known Solomon from back in the day,” Micah said. “I asked to get involved and I’ve never looked back.”Now he is the centre manager of the service which offers food and legal advice to rough sleepers and the community. “It’s a safe haven for misunderstood people. Everything starts somewhere, there’s been ups and downs but we’re helping people. I want to be a spark in the plug, I won’t change the world but I’ll invest in a person who will.”Micah Lammie at workMicah is now its centre manager

‘I knew hunger’

After having experienced her own financial struggles, Mary Brennan saw her neighbours in Cross Green, Leeds, were also facing difficulties. “I knew hunger and poverty,” the 68-year-old said.Mary Brennan

Mary Brennan started a community group in LeedsPresentational white space

“It used to be just families round here, then landlords started bedding seven people in four-bedroom terraced houses. I noticed they were hungry.”Cross GreenImage copyrightJILLIAN EDELSTEIN

Image captionShe settled in Cross Green, where she witnessed the struggles of her neighbours

So she helped set up Community Unity, a neighbourhood group that runs a lunch club at St Hilda’s Church and created a garden on a disused railway bridge where the community can pick their own food.”We don’t have many facilities round here, no shop where you can buy fresh food and [there’s] terrible problems with transport,” she added.

‘If you’re poor, you can’t afford ideas’Steve Arnott

Steve Arnott says hip-hop has always been his love

Poverty can be a barrier to creativity because people can’t afford either the money or time to do it, according to Steve Arnott. The 44-year-old from Hull said hip-hop helped him through a tough childhood and he saw how it could do the same for others. “Hip-hop has always been my love,” he said. “There were local workshops which weren’t getting many kids because families couldn’t afford the fares into town. “I had idea of taking it to them.”Beats BusThe workshops were aimed at helping children in the community. In 2017, his hometown was the UK City of Culture, so he launched the Beats Bus – a mobile recording studio which he takes into the communities to attract youngsters eager to learn more about hip-hop, DJing, break-dancing and graffiti art. “If you’re poor, you can’t afford the time to create ideas,” Steve said. “The Beats Bus is trying to change that, bringing free studio time to talented kids.”Close up showing tattoo of microphone on Steve's lower armSteve has a tattoo of a microphone on his forearm.

‘There’s no shame in being poor through no fault of your own’

The issues blighting the Sholes area of Wigan are being tackled by Barbara Nettleton. She previously spearheaded a residents’ association to reduce anti-social behaviour and improve services, before taking over the running of the Sunshine House community centre. The site opened in 2005, runs art groups and youth projects with a view to helping people find work. It also operates three shops in the area offering necessities including second-hand clothes and prams, toys and baby clothes.Barbara Nettleton covers her faceBarbara Nettleton was a bit shy about being photographed. “When the mines, steelworks and mills closed years ago, it took the apprenticeships away, broke families and industrial areas like ours,” Barbara said. There is no shame in being poor when you work hard all your life and end up poor. God judges a nation by how it treats the poor in the society. Jesus said, in Matthew 25:40-46 whoever cares for the poor by feeding them, gives them water to drink or had provided shelter for the “least of these” receives JESUS. The poor are priceless in God’s sight because HE created them in HIS OWN IMAGE AND LIKENESS. Bible says value of material possessions is not true measure of quality of human life in God’s sight as mankind thinks. Its loving care and fair share of all the resources provided by God as Marslow hierarchy shows God counts towards eternal life.Greg and MarieThis homeless couple moved in with a millionaire in America. The homeless couple moved in with the millionaire after living on California’s streets for 20 years Greg and Marie invited to stay in the home of the millionaire. The local businessman asked if they wanted to share his $4m home. A year later other rich neighbours complain so call police tells us about homelessness crisis in the Western countries. Luke 16 says a rich man enjoyed all great wealth on earth but ended in hell for abuse of the poor Lazarus who went into heaven and is comforted by Abraham. So God judges mankind by how HIS RESOURCES are shared on this earth. Gospel of Matthew 25, 34-46 34 says, KING of Kings “Jesus will say to those on His right, ‘Come in, you who are blessed by my Father God because you the fed poor and you clothe them by your kindness, you did it to me so enter heaven. You didn’t do it to show off to get praise of people but you did it genuinely from kibdness of your heart to help those who are worse off than you. 

Produced by Hannah Long-Higgins, Chelsea Bailey and Cody Godwin; edited by Hannah Long-Higgins.

The film is part of the BBC’s Crossing Divides season and a collaboration with the San Francisco Chronicle. Read Otis Taylor Jr’s column on Greg and Marie.

Picture Britain: Our People, Our Poverty was commissioned by the Joseph Rowntree Foundation and created by photographer Jillian Edelstein and investigative journalist Stephen Armstrong. It will be at Borough Market, London, from 20 February to 8 March.

More on this story

  • Disabled people ‘pulled into poverty’ as benefits fall short
    6 February 2020
  • Joseph Rowntree Foundation urges ‘new deal’ on poverty
    6 September 2016
  • Poverty costs UK £78bn a year, Joseph Rowntree Foundation says
    1 August 2016 

Photo exhibition showcases people tackling poverty

Related Internet links

  • The Joseph Rowntree Foundation
  • Picture Britain: Our People, Our Poverty

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England

Ladysmith Black Mambazo

Joseph Shabalala with members of Ladysmith Black Mambazo in 1998
Joseph Shabalala with members of Ladysmith Black Mambazo in 1998

Joseph Shabalala, who helped introduce the sound of traditional Zulu music to the world died aged 78. The musician was best known as the founder and director of choral group Ladysmith Black Mambazo, won five Grammy awards and featured heavily on Paul Simon’s Graceland album. They reached number 15 in UK charts with a cover of Swing Low Sweet Chariot, for  1995 Rugby World Cup. Shabalala died in hospital in Pretoria, South Africa, the band’s manager said. “Yes it’s true. Mr Shabalala passed on this morning,” Xolani Majozi told the South Africa Times. “The group is on tour in the US, but have been informed are devastated because the group is family.” The South African Government paid tribute to the musician in a tweet, saying : “We would like to extend our condolences on the passing of Joseph Shabalala who was the founder of the group Ladysmith Black Mambazo. It added in Xhosa, “Ulale ngoxolo Tata ugqatso lwakho ulufezile.” (Rest in peace, father, your race is complete.)Ladysmith Black Mambazo remember singing and dancing with Nelson Mandela.Ladysmith Black Mambazo singing and dancing with Nelson Mandela. Born in 1941, Shabalala was the eldest of eight children living on a farm in Tugela, near the town of Ladysmith in South Africa. “When I a young boy I dreamt of becoming an educated person; maybe a teacher, doctor or something like that,” he told South Africa’s The Citizen in 2014 . However, he was forced to leave school at the age of 12 when his father died, working on the family farm and, later, in a local factory. In his spare time, he would sing with friends in a local group called the Blacks. “The young boys when they get together, they started to sing the songs, until the mamas and the neighbours said, ‘Hey, do it again,'” he told the BBC . “It was just like that. They were calling, ‘Do it again, do it again’.”Ladysmith Black Mambazo dominated South African Music in the 1970s and 1980sLadysmith Black Mambazo dominated South African Music in 1970s and 1980s. He became leader and main composer for the choir, fusing indigenous Zulu songs and dances with South African isicathamiya, an a capella tradition that was frequently accompanied by a soft, shuffling style of dance. They were re-christened Ladysmith Black Mambazo, a name that was significant on several levels: Ladysmith represented their hometown, Black referenced the black oxen that were the strongest on the farm, and Mambazo, from the Zulu word for axe, symbolized the group’s ability to cut down the competition. A radio performance in 1970 led to a recording contract, and in 1973 they released Africa’s first gold-selling album, Amabutho. They achieved global recognition after being recruited to sing on Paul Simon’s multi-million-selling Graceland album, most notably on Homeless, a song Shabalala co-wrote with Simon, based on the melody for a traditional Zulu wedding song.

The band joined Simon on a subsequent world tour. In return, he produced their next three albums in 1987’s Shaka Zulu winning a Grammy for best traditional folk recording. Shabalala retired from active performance in 2014 shortly after performing at a memorial concert for Nelson Mandela. He continued to teach traditional choral music, while four of his sons and one grandson continued his legacy within Ladysmith Black Mambazo. The musician was with his wife Thokozile Shabalala, in his final moments, said Xolani Majozi. As news of his death spread, tributes poured in from around the world. “My friend, a giant humble man, Joseph Shabalala, passed away this morning,” wrote South African singer Sipho “Hotstix” Mabuse on Twitter . “My sincere condolences to his family and friends.” “I am deeply saddened,” wrote Herman Mashaba, former mayor of Johannesburg . “You will be remembered as a giant of South African music and a pioneer of the industry.”

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AUSTERITY POVERTY BRITAIN

CarolineCaroline was fed by the Food banks yet once a successful career woman earning £50k. Now living on £35 week benefit had financial difficulties after the birth of her second child. She went from earning £50,000 a year to relying on a food bank said she will “never be able to thank” its volunteers enough for the help given. Caroline was living and working in the Netherlands, running an employment agency, when she became pregnant. After the end of a relationship and facing housing and health problems she is living on £35 a week.” She said she would encourage anyone who was struggling financially to seek help from a food bank. Caroline, who wants to use her first name only said without help of support from Stoke-on-Trent food bank “I don’t know where I would be right now.” “The volunteers are amazing people,” she said. “The biggest thing in my experience is you are not judged, no matter what your background, nothing matters, just that you are made aware so educated in where to go to get help and move you from that situation.”People talking about using food banks said, “It means they can eat get healthy.” She earned up to €1,000 in week with a commission before becoming pregnant with her daughter now nine. Caroline returned to England about 18 months later fell pregnant with her son, seven, but the relationship with her children’s father broke down and he remained in the Netherlands. She had no support with childcare and complications after her children’s births left her unable to work full time. Rising damp in their privately rented home meant she was spending £400 a month on utilities and had to top-up the rental payments not fully covered by housing benefit. She said at times it felt like “chaos” where she had “no control over anything.” “I had ebbs and waves when living off barely anything,” she said. And so while volunteering at children’s centres given her first token for the food bank.Stock food bank imageCaroline said staff at Stoke-on-Trent food bank are “angels” And by collecting food once a month staff helped signpost her towards other support services. She was too proud to admit I needed help, she said. But I don’t think pride has any part to play these days in visiting a food bank because, if you need help, it is one of the best places you can go.” Caroline, who lives in Stone, added: “I am hoping for a brighter future. I am settled so the children are settled, I do not have debts, it feels amazing to be in this position. So “When I was at my lowest I never would have seen myself where I am now. “But if it were to happen again, I will go back to a food bank. These threats are always there for anybody, anything can happen around that corner.”Sarah too got help after she was seeking help from a food bank among millions of people suffering poverty in Britain. It is interesting people assume there in no poverty in advanced countries. So think people collect gold on the streets to live lavish super abundant lifestyles. This is far from the reality of millions suffering unable to feed themselves, unemployed disabled, wait three to six months to be assessed for basic necessities of life. And without money many starve to death in silence as treated like scum of the earth. Do not be fooled life is glamorous for all in Britain especially those taking huge loans given to human traffickers liars who promise them “jobs” in Britain. The truth machines took over millions of jobs, electric cars soon no needs for the humans drivers. AI robots will work so there is real concern of job losses as big brands close and lay off millions of workers globally. Do not let anyone fool you to deceive you about the wealth or riches in Britain. The carefully managed manicured lawns and riches are not just freely available as traffickers promised. Beware of lies people caged in shipping containers suffocate and found dead in Britain. People overloaded on purpose to drown at sea exploited by traffickers. Errol Graham death: Nottingham man starved after benefit stopped in Britain.Errol GrahamErrol Graham had history of depression and the relatives of this man starved to death after his benefits stopped said this evil cruel system is “not fit for purpose.” Errol Graham, 57, weighed four-and-a-half stone (28.5kg) when his body was found by bailiffs who broke into his Nottingham council flat to evict him. An inquest found his loss of income caused huge distress.”Daughter-in-law Alison Turner said it was “heartbreaking… it’s horrific to die like that.” The case raised in Commons by Debbie Abrahams MP, called for independent inquiry of cases people died after Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) reviewed care.Pine View flats, RadfordMr Graham’s last contact with officials approached about rent arrears. After rarely seen lost contact from DWP and his employment and support allowance (ESA) was stopped in August 2017. This affected his housing benefit it ceased on 10 October. ‘No food in his flat’ the last official contact with housing provider Nottingham City Homes, heard shouting and punching door on visit in February 2018. PC Emily Dunn told inquest no signs Mr Graham injured but he “looked very thin.” She added there was no food in the property, other than a couple of tins of fish in cupboard five years out of date. The flat had no gas, no electricity, inquest heard, with “significant mail” by front door. The medical cause of death was recorded as starvation. As assistant coroner Dr Elizabeth Didcock said: “The sudden loss of all income, and the threat of eviction caused huge distress, worry, and significant financial hardship. “Loss of income and housing final devastating stressors had a significant effect on his mental health. “Safety net surrounding vulnerable people like Errol in British society had holes within it.”Debbie Abrahams MPMP Debbie Abrahams said treatment of some claimants a “serious concern” Miss Turner told BBC: “It is so heartbreaking, horrific, for someone to die like that, the failure he suffered, he didn’t deserve it. “Its shocking the system is not fit for purpose. “He was without money for six to eight months. “Errol didn’t physically bring himself to talk to strangers or ask for level of help lost out not here today.” Sophie Corlett of mental health charity Mind, said: “Its the most vulnerable who we hear are slipping through net. “This gentleman as many people have lifelong conditions unlikely to change yet they are recalled again and again for face to face “assessments” people find very challenging.” DWP said its establishing a serious case panel to review its work. A spokesman added: “This tragic complex case and our sympathies are with Mr Graham’s family.” Over 5000 people in UK died in 2019 from austerity poverty. Benefits officials’ apologise after mum’s suicide due to her benefits stopped.Jodey WhitingJodey Whiting suffered physical and mental health issues. The mother of a disabled woman who took her own life after some benefits stopped was given a personal apology by government officials. Jodey Whiting, 42, from Stockton, had some payments stopped after she missed a capability assessment because she was in hospital with pneumonia. The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) later admitted mistakes were made and paid the family compensation. Senior officials travelled to Teesside to explain what changes have been made. Ms Whiting, a mother of nine, suffered physical and mental health issues, curvature of spine and a brain cyst, and took 23 tablets each day. Following her death in 2017, an independent inquiry found the DWP did not follow procedures to telephone and visit Ms Whiting after she missed the appointment. Process of complaints takes too long so people suffer without food, rent or heating living in the cold.Parents fightingThe most serious complaints about DWP agencies like Child Maintenance Service sometimes take years to be resolved. So children go to school without breakfast. Some become homeless, sleeping in the streets in freezing cold begging for food. People with the most serious complaints on Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) wait 18 months before the case is investigated. BBC Radio 4’s Money Box learnt nearly two-third of investigations miss the target to be solved in 20 weeks. A man in dispute with one of its agencies called the delay “obscene.” The DWP said it understands “the impact of waiting for investigation has on people and their families.” The most common complaints to DWP includes failure to follow proper procedures, excessive delays and poor customer service. Alan, not his real name, said it took four-year wait in total before his case is resolved. He complained to the government-run Child Maintenance Service (CMS) in November 2017. It took thousands of pounds of redundancy payment from his bank account. The dispute made his existing mental health problems worse left him “flatlining” he says. Unable to work is “getting poorer by the day.” And drained so ‘Exhausted’ by procedure after 18 months, Alan’s case unresolved was given the permission to complain to Independent Case Examiner (ICE) and CMS, pension payments and disability benefits. Alan’s complaint accepted, but took more than a year before someone was assigned to investigate it. After that Money Box saw figures suggesting two-thirds of cases take longer than 20-week target half take six months or longer. So this means that hundreds of people face a wait of more than two years for their complaints to be resolved once accepted by ICE. Many die before their case dealt with and becomes too late in one of the richest nations in the world. Money is returned to chest while millions die in austerity poverty Britain. The universal credit rollout is delayed again to 2024PaulaPaula’s universal credit payment wasn’t enough to live on its cuts down payment so sanctions people deprived. “It scares people” and siphons money to assessors not doctors who cut people off payment new delay pushed to September 2024. It denies claimants would lose money as a result of the change. Discussions lead to delays recorded by the BBC team series Universal Credit: Inside Welfare State, on Tuesday. Six payments into one beset by problems, with claimants wait five to six weeks for the payments to start and many reports of people falling into debt, and having to resort to food banks as a consequence.People queue at job centrePeople transferring to universal credit have to wait five to six weeks for first payment. Addvance loan payments of the benefit introduced to help people through the five weeks with no money coming is blamed for putting claimants into debt. Once the benefit finally comes through, payments are reduced to pay off the advance loaned claimants. These changing circumstances such as moving in with new partner affect some people. Fewer people report changes because it is said by film-makers allowed access to meetings inside Department of Work and Pensions. Officials ponder what to do to help as programme shows Bolton mum Paula struggling to feed family as her universal credit. Payment of £500 a month with deductions paid for loans of five-week wait. It includes rent, council tax, water bills, bus fares, electric and gas bills, shoes clothes for winter cold months,  TV licence, food. She ends up at food bank Paula told debt counsellor.Paula at foodbankPaula goes to a local food bank for food donated by the public to help the people starving. Universal credit cut off money of family without support falling into a loan taken in advance repayment.” She added benefit deductions to pay off the advance, leave people “constantly trying to catch up” often without food or basic necessities of life. Neil Couling, a senior civil servant in charge of rollout for past five years, is filmed telling a Whitehall meeting: “We’ve got a lot of anecdotal evidence of people scared of universal credit. “It’s serious issue for us, in terms of completing the project by December but I’m urging people not to panic.” The people seen as “projects” by privileged without understanding of poverty in UK cause more harm than good to the poor.Neil Couling in meetingThree, six, nine months doesn’t matter if headline says: ‘Delay, disaster he says’.“I will say, ‘Go safe, put claimants first and I’ll take beating.'”‘Hugely embarrassing’ Despite problems, Mr Couling thinks the universal credit if implemented will be successful as “right thing to do.” System to form bedrock of social security in the next 30 years.” Expects universal credit to continue to grow with 2.6m people in  September last year: “Cannot put brakes on, if we get something wrong disrupts their lives got no alternative bank to go to get help we are payer of last resort.” Labour Shadow Work Pension Secretary Margaret Greenwood says news “hugely embarrassing” for government called for universal credit to be scrapped. The public have little faith in it many afraid of it,” said Ms Greenwood. Government says universal credit introduced slowly. Its “biggest change to welfare system in a generation, bringing six benefits into one monthly payment offering support to the most vulnerable people in society said Mr Quince. Sad its least in society in need deprived to cater for the richest billionaires in society who can afford to provide for themselves. The stipends of £500million for repairs and £80 million annual pocket money plus £21 million lose change, £5 billion to cut 45 minute train journey millions dies in austerity poverty Britain. Some are given tents to sleep in freezing cold. Decaying corpse found at Harlow’s ‘human warehouse’Templefields House in HarlowA cleaner at a troubled former office block used to house homeless revealed she and other staff discovered a “weeks-old corpse” in a room. Tania resigned from her job after being asked to clean room where man’s body was discovered in June 2019. Investigation by BBC East and Panorama found evidence security staff “lost control”at Templefields House in Harlow Essex. The building described as “human warehouse” by a tenant, BBC found hundreds of families rehoused by London boroughs in office blocks and industrial estates in Harlow  living next to drug addicts and ex-prisoners. Robert Halfon MP for Harlow describe practice “social cleansing.” Essex Police confirms death not treated suspicious. Identity of dead man was not disclosed.Bikes at office turned into housingResidents complained of isolation and surrounded by warehousing or business centres. Tania did not want surnamed used became employee of the landlord Caridon, with partner Matt who is head of security at Templefields after they lived at the block as tenants. “The smell hits you before you opened door, there were flies everywhere its awful,” she said. “He’d been there five or six weeks decomposed.”The couple said a number of people took their own lives at the time they lived and worked there. Current staff told undercover BBC reporter other tenants died. A reporter was told “we’ve cleaned a dead man’s room was found hanging waited for the body bag stood in hallway to make sure no-one come in while he was cleared.” So management at building concerned with getting room cleaned and letting it out to a new tenant, Tania said. “I was in complete shock, but it was more of a concern to get another room needed to be cleaned that day”, she told the BBC.Terminus HouseProperty owner Caridon’s statement is “We break mould in social housing and stigma given to social tenants. “Unlike other private developers offer housing-related support to tenants vulnerable within community.” “We successfully helped tenants turn their lives around with supportive service provided going above and beyond for individuals.” The ordinary people treated this way many once successful in society. Their lives is made worse by austerity poverty that lacks resources for proper care. Many lost homes as mental health patients in  the community system so overwhelmed they are abandoned without adequate care. Sadly things are getting worse the way things are being handled.Disabled people ‘pulled into poverty’ as benefits falls short. Sydney, cares for disabled mother, says the current system isn’t working for her. Half 14 million people living in poverty in the UK are disabled or live with someone who is, research for a charity suggests. Joseph Rowntree Foundation blames high cost of coping with disability and struggles disabled people face in finding job to pay enough to live on after bills. Executive director Claire Ainsley said plight fundamentally wrong. Government says it is committed to tackling poverty, spending £55bn this year on benefits for the disabled people. Annual report, published for Friday, the charity urges: reform of benefits system to make it more flexible for jobs to help people with disabilities progress out of low pay. Correlation between disability and poverty analysis demonstrates how closely connected the two are across the UK. The “shamefully high numbers” of disabled people put in poverty by social security system fails to protect them. Its a fact disability as indicator of poverty shows economy is not working for all, Ms Ainsley said.purseResearchers found compared with rest of population people with disabilities less likely to be working or worked an average 13 fewer hours a week. Live in households worse off by £200 a week. So almost 4.5 million of informal adult carers in UK, s quarter living in poverty, with working-age female carers at risk. A ingle mum-of-three Jennifer Hobbs cares for both12-year-old son, Nathan, with neurodevelopmental disorder, and elder son Stanley 15 has heart problems so time-consuming gave up cleaning job relies on food banks. “It really infuriates me,” Jennifer from Bristol told BBC. Not much help out there for families with a disabled adult children forget disabled children turn are disabled adults. Think to myself, what’s going to happen to my son when my son gets older if he can’t work because of his disabilities. He will get penalised and end up on the dole or on disability benefits for the rest of his life. “I don’t want him to have to resort to food banks, like I do.”Jen HobbsJen Hobbs from Bristol cares for two disabled sons. Imran Hussain, Action for Children’s policy and campaigns director, said austerity problems with universal credit left too many families like Jennifer’s “fighting to keep their heads above water” and called their predicament “frankly appalling.” He urged ministers to:

  • provide more support to help parents with caring responsibilities find work
  • restore the real value of children’s benefits to pre-austerity levels

Disability benefits are supposed to help people cope with the extra costs related to their conditions but research by disability equality charity Scope has shown they fall short. Households with disabled members are also much more likely to claim other income-related benefits, which have been frozen for the past four years while prices have risen, says Scope. James Taylor, its head of policy and campaigns, said findings were shocking, but not surprising. “Life costs much more for disabled people on average £583 a month. “Huge numbers of disabled people denied opportunity to get into and stay in work cost more in terms support.” Department for Work and Pensions wanted one million more disabled people to be in work by 2027 compared with 2017 consulted on how businesses can support disabled people to thrive in work. It plans to introduce national strategy for disabled people. Its interesting £80 million can fix big Ben clock but no funds for the NHS hospitals with shortage of doctors and the nurses overworked by unGodly hours. So many overwhelmed are suffering needlessly others commit suicide due to extreme time tables and inhumane long hours of cutting budgets. Some doctors work for days without sleep as happening in one of the most advanced nations on earth.

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The benefits for the disabled people.

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TACKLING DIFFICULT PEOPLE

wp-1578833977605.jpgQuestion: “What does Bible say about dealing with difficult people?”

Answer: We all know people we find so “difficult”and deal with difficult people. A difficult person is very condescending argumentative, belligerent, selfish, and flippant, obtuse, simply rude. Difficult people “push one’s buttons” and stir up trouble. Dealing with difficult people is an exercise in patience, love, and grace. Response to difficult people from Jesus’ interactions He never displayed attitude of harsh superiority or dismissive pride. He showed His authority under control to rebuke when necessary in John 8:47 to deal with the difficult people, remain silent in John 8:6 when asked questions in Mark 11:28–29 in Scripture in Mark 10:2–3 tells story in Luke 7:40–42. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus dealt with difficult people in love and humility: “I tell you: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you pray for all who mistreat you.wp-1578834206139.jpg If someone strikes you on a cheek turn the other. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to who asks you, if anyone takes what belongs to you don’t demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you” in Luke 6:27–31. Never give tit for tat: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult repay evil with blessing, for this you were called inherit blessing” in 1 Peter 3:9. In dealing with difficult people guard against pride.wp-1578834096919.jpg Its important to recall advise given by apostle Paul in Romans 12:3: “By grace of God I say to you don’t think too highly of yourself. Think of yourself with the humility by faith God has given you” in Philippians 2:3–4. When difficult people approach you deal with the situation in meekness. Love is the key to “Love your neighbour as yourself” in Galatians 5:14 to show God’s love to all difficult people. Wisdom is needed to deal with difficult people. In Proverbs 12:16 patience is the key to such relationships: “A fool shows his annoyance at once but the prudent man overlooks insult.” Proverbs 20:3 says peace-making of honour to avoid strife but fools quickly quarrel.”wp-1578834341622.jpg Proverbs 10:12, encourages giving love, “Hatred stirs up conflict but love covers all wrongs.” Proverbs 17:14 is foresight on “Starting quarrel like breaching dam as disputes breaks out” Best to avoid the situation altogether choosing carefully whom we associate with: “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered” in Proverbs 22:24. Dealing with difficult people in life is unavoidable but do not respond in the flesh to bring out worst in you. Deal with difficult people by the fruit of Spirit in us in Galatians 5:22–23.wp-1578834322634.jpg By the grace of God, deal with difficult people in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. Extend love, grace, and mercy God extends to us, careful not to be difficult people ourselves. 2 Timothy 3 says in the last days the perilous times shall come. People will be lovers of  self, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful and ungrateful. 4 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, fierce, despisers of those who are good traitors, 5 heady, highminded lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; wp-1578833839523.jpgHaving a form of Godliness, but deny HIS power from such turn away. 6 This sort creep into houses and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of truth. 8 As Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses they resist truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith. 9 They will proceed no further their folly manifests to all 10 Know God’s doctrine for life’s purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience, love, forgive like Jesus.wp-1578833896562.jpg9 They will proceed no further 11 So endure persecutions afflictions for the LORD delivers out of all. 12 Live Godly life in Christ Jesus despite persecution. 13 Evil people and seducers get worse deceiving and deceived 14 Continue in the things you learn and know 15 From childhood. You know Holy Scriptures to make you wise unto salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God is profitable doctrine for correction and instruction in righteousness 17 so the people of God perfectly furnished to do good works.

Recommended Resource: Who’s Pushing Your Buttons? Handling the Difficult People in Your Life by Dr. John Townsend

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BORN OF GOD NOT OF FLESH

wp-1578403267950.jpgBorn of God not of flesh means Children of God reborn in Christ born again by a Spiritual rebirth. Through Jesus’ BLOOD is reborn not by natural birth of flesh by women. Nicodemus asked Jesus: Crawl back into the mother’s womb to be born again? Nicodemus Pharisee member of Sanhedrin in Gospel of John visits Jesus at night to discuss Jesus’ teachings. John 3:1–21 says Nicodemus ruler of the Jews asks Jesus if he must enter second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” wp-1578403436681.jpgJesus answered, “I say to you unless one is born of water and Spirit cannot enter kingdom of God. People ask these same questions in Scripture about being born again. Jesus said being born again is not crawling back into a mother’s womb but to be Spiritually regenerated in Christ to be saved in God’s Son Jesus accept Jesus teaching in Bible. This is God’s ENTRY requirement to heaven to live in eternal life reunited with all loved ones in God’s Presence. A person born again accepts Jesus as Lord and lives as the Bible says.wp-1578403490238.jpgAll in Christ in Rapture with resurrected dead go into heaven and escape GREAT TRIBULATION WRATH of God that takes place. This what born again means in the Bible you become the Child of God. After DNA of sin contaminated mankind you need detox through Jesus Blood to be redeemed. Believe and receive Jesus Christ as personal Saviour. People are God’s creation but not all are God’s CHILDREN. So what must you do to be born again according to Jesus in Bible?  wp-1578403700196.jpgTo enter kingdom of God John 3:3-8 says God’s True Light Jesus shines on people to be saved in the world. He came into the world but the world He created did not recognise him. He came to his own creation and own people didn’t accept Him. All ACCEPT him He gave them the power to become the Children of God so all those who truly believe in Him their birth does not depend not on the course of nature or impulse plan of man but on God. Christ offspring not birth by blood or of flesh and man but God CHOOSES subjects of HIS KINGDOM in Christwp-1578500026778.jpgTo be born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God is to be again. God in His mercy allows people the freedom of choice to make up their own minds to become the citizens of heaven in HIS KINGDOM. HE sent Gospel message from time of Adam and Eve to save all mankind from HIS WRATH anger destroying one third of the earth. God rebuilds earth and comes to live on the perfect earth in future. HE warned in Daniel 9-12 of the destruction taking place till GREAT TRIBULATION. wp-1578403776396.jpg

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Its a crucial time in history to decide if you want to belong to Yahweh in Christ Jesus the Only way chosen by God. This is not religious debate of which Church you attend or which faith you prefer or force onto people. God is warning world if consequences if people still refuse to accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour. Life is normal with challenges here and there overcome to survive often celebrated to thank God for delivering from adversity. Being born again is decision time choice for those in Christ in God in eternal life.wp-1578406322133.jpg

John 1:12 says all those who receive and believe in Jesus Name become children of God. 13 Its not by birth, blood or flesh of man but of God, not based on natural descent of human decision but through birth out of God. Joint heirs of Christ are His Blood kindreds not by natural flesh but by predestination of God’s salvation.