BE HAPPY IN YOURSELF

Be happy in yourself and do not blame others because life is not only about you exclusively to demand always a 24hour self-centred attention from others who love you. A trend of right to entitlement to be happy at expense of others causes problems in families, society of online. The happiness demanding attention is ruining relationships. Some demand a nonstop unrealistic pressure from loved ones all moments be spent only with them day or night. So time taken to do things or working to provide for them is considered ‘dehumanizing neglect’ for not catering always for them only. Onus of their life is always shifted to others to become totally responsible for them. So like emotional babies, do not realise that growing up means taking a full responsibility for actions. Therefore permanently blame others for problems of their lives or for being born in wrong the environment to undesired parents whose fault made them as they are. Do not put all the anger, and bitterness on those who care about you most. As long as they receive help from everyone at all times without need to help others they feel fine.58216d1a9df4cedf435f5d8a037d7cc4 Dare others ask them to be patient or to wait for their turn often become angry or agitated throwing things at people or breaking things to hurt owners. These behaviour often starts from tantrums of terrible twos not corrected by their innocence not to offend them. Some sulk and cry for hours on end or, develop headaches from crying so cycle is repeated over and over again. A bad upbringing ranges from the spectrum of lack of discipline, correction, ADHD or autism not diagnosed early taking its toll into adulthood. Pride, ego, defiance, anti establishment becomes the norm so used to getting own ways for too long. A genuine effort to support and help them seen as intrusion although often naive of the outcome of their actions. Most of the time the very family considered not good enough for them end up picking up the pieces of their trail of damage to others. Always in denial of reality never aware of effects of their behaviour on a family, relatives, friends or children. In extreme cases traumatize or hurt others incapable of understanding risks or the consequences of an action in advance before it happens. Constantly operate in high-strung emotion demand that those around them always walk on egg shells. Unaware792e6019ecd1c629c0ad3c773ee524ca of social rules etiquette unable to tolerate if attention or a conversation is not only about them. So emotionally draining others yet complaining about lack of attention from those doing their best to live with them. Underlying this state of mind is influence of the liberal views of deception that they are their own self-made people unaccountable to nobody so must depend exclusively only on their own ideas, feelings choices egos without recognising impact effect of damage in hurting others. If not dealt with grow into megalomania, tyrants in extreme cases never content with their lot in life. Always want more and more beyond realistic expectations or available resources in life. Suck others dry but still moan about not being given enough attention. Emotionally draining accurately described ‘manic behaviour of such a person does not understand brain function process of information or instructions properly in the interest of the good of all others. be-happyUnhappiness causes bile toxic chemicals to affect mood swing, sugar withdrawal symptoms, substance abuses affecting genetics of children from some parents, alcohol, poor communication skills, lack of maturity, background experience that intrude into adult years if unchecked. Other times consequence of their sheer pathological wickedness stems from the habitual actions since childhood. Sadly, in schools, emphasis is more on a head knowledge more than personal growth development and emotional maturity required for a longterm living. Another factor is the attitude of certain men seen as powerful if they are rebellious to authority. Some ‘success’ sometimes equated to a bully who tramples over all others bulldozed their way to achieve their goal, be it on corporate ladder, or in family, church, abusers manipulate or attack those who stand up to them. 57c69b8d9a2cff284ba95ed892061acaIt is predicted in Bible by Jesus during the end time lawlessness will abound as such people become more haughty, and disobedient to authority hate discipline, lovers of self more than Lovers of God, high minded ever learning but unable to grasp truth. So cannot understand basic rules, respect, consideration for others. Always insists on their way or no way, self-destruct snapping because they refuse to help or correction to save them from themselves. Truth hurts but God says His people are destroyed for lack of proper Godly knowledge and proper understanding of daily roles in relation to others on Earth. Confusion today in society and wars come from inability to compromise or to put others first. Some insist their way is only way manipulate or force others put under pressure but indulge without listening or valuing others due to greed, love of money, fear. Worse of all undergirding greed motives spur them on to destroy others for their selfish gains. It is well-known in  living history many lives destroyer by not living and let live lifestyle agreement to agree to disagree to live in peace chucked out of window.

HOW TO EAT BETTER

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This interesting and educational book by James Wong reveals the facts behind the nutrition hiding within our garden produce, with facts backed by science rather than fiction. In it, James Wong reveals not only the best produce to eat to obtain certain vitamins but also the best way in which to eat them, from lightly cooked plum tomatoes with a drizzle of olive oil to how to prepare a chilli. James Wong tells us a bit about his past and to find out more about what How To Eat Better is all about.c447140e6c24fc011bf5faa2e07464f7

James Wong is often asked what first made him interested in plants. In fact he gets asked this question so often by taxi drivers, journalists and mates down the pub so comes to expect it as a given. Funnily enough, this kind of question is one my football-mad brother has never, ever been asked about his passion. So it seems almost as if dedicating your life to studying what many non-geeks see as just a leafy, green backdrop to everyday life is considered surprising. Yet to him is a lifelong plant obsessive, what I find surprising is quite the opposite. I just can’t understand why everyone isn’t as fascinated by plants as him. Whether we are aware of it or not, plants still underpin the food we eat, medicines we take, the air we breathe. Everything from our basic anatomy, to our most deeply hard-wired instincts are direct result of collaboration with the plants. Therefore understanding plants is key to understanding who we are. james wong

James Wong How To Eat Better – published by Mitchell Beazley, £20 http://www.octopusbooks.co.uk

How does Wong gather research for your books to ensure reliable facts?
Well, starts by trawling through peer-reviewed studies in scientific journals to find promising leads. Of course, sound science is all about reproducibility, this does require quite an exhaustive search and some pretty late nights! So findings from one study needs to be reflected by a good number of other papers before it can be deemed reliable. Scientists look at a body of research as a whole when drawing conclusions not just individual papers. For last two books the number of papers read is well into thousands, which is why it takes so long to research and write each new book. Always works with other experts to peer review all the findings and give much-needed second or third pair of eyes to query and fact check. For example, previously worked with the RHS heads of horticulture and science to review the entire text of his gardening books. For book worked with a brilliant doctor in nutritional science.James Wong

The most surprising interesting thing learnt writing How To Eat Better?
Perhaps the most surprising discover was something quite counterintuitive and it was about coffee. As a scientist used to often hearing claims coffee is disastrous for your mood, heart and maybe a risk factor for cancer assumed they must be true. However when you actually look at the objective, scientific evidence, not only are the claims poorly supported, but in fact quite the opposite may be true. In fact coffee is one of the richest dietary sources of a group of naturally-occurring compounds called polyphenols believed to prevent a wide range of so many degenerative diseases, contributing up to 50% of  antioxidants in the famously healthy Mediterranean diet. Thank you science.james wong

Do you always employ own tips and tricks in kitchen as a chef?
A lifelong obsession with food and come from a family of people who worked in restaurants, so absolutely! Inherently quite lazy though, so included tips from the research thought were genuinely practical and accessible for real people. For example, storing tomatoes on the counter is just as easy as popping them in the fridge but gives you measurably more flavour, phytonutrients. Serving them with avocados can improve the absorbability of antioxidant lycopene (believed to have cardio protective effects) by 400% too. Really needs very little excuse to eat more avocados! This book is not about obscure ingredients or restrictive diets. It’s just about taking the food you already love and making it even better. Personally tested all recipes in the book three times, which explains why many are based around shortcuts and cheats! Love of good food is from his Love of eating! Guesses when you are fascinated by plants this conspires to make you obsessive about food. On a recent filming trip in Japan spent long using the translate app on phone to find dishes that featured weird veg on every menu (hostas, bracken, ferns, cherry and oak leaves are the common foods there) colleagues ended up ordering without him every time.Screen-Shot-2017-04-12-at-11.45.11.png

Most important message to take from How To Eat Better?
Eating healthily in our society is often wrapped up in the notions of expense. Somehow food that costs more, sounds more exclusive or is tracked down from some far flung place is often thought to be instantly better for us. The research tells quite another story. In fact very often the cheapest, most accessible option can be better for you. Tinned tomatoes have twice the phytonutrient lycopene of fresh tomatoes. Frozen blueberries, despite being half the price, have the same level of antioxidants as fresh. Instant coffee also has twice the potentially heart-healthy polyphenols of ‘artisan brewed’ coffee. So empowering, especially at a time when many can simply not afford to fill their trolley with the latest ‘superfood’. The single best thing you can do to improve your diet is simply to eat more fruit and veg. Full stop. The tips and tricks researched might make the fruit and veg you love even better for you. You can purchase your copy of How To Eat Better by James Wong here.

Want to find out how to grow some of your own super-veg? Click here.

To see more great garden books, click here.

HOTEL MADE FROM RUBBISH

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Global Earth Day highlights destruction of environment by this hotel made with waste collected from European beaches. In addition, recycled waste regenerates fuel from rubbish so the hotel points out damage to emphasize an overwhelming rate of superabundance. So highlighting huge tons of waste daily, environmental campaigners built this temporary hotel largely from rubbish in Italy’s capital Rome to raise awareness of European beach pollution. Save the Beach Hotel is taking guests for 4days only, adorned with debris from the world’s beaches. It had 5 rooms, reception lined with 12 tonnes of rubbish, including toys, cans, car exhaust pipes. Danish supermodel Helena Christensen, who has stayed at the hotel, said it was a striking work of art. “When inside the house, there are walls as would be in normal house but they are all made of inorganic waste,” Ms Christensen, also an environmental campaigner told the BBC.photos-save-the-beach-hotel-0005.jpg

The hotel opened to guests until 7 June and the outside is completely covered in everything thrown away at the beaches. You can basically go around that hotel to look at a lot of very personal objects so some makes you wonder what makes the human beings throw things away on the beach. The hotel, stands beside 2nd Century Castel Sant’Angelo on the banks of the Tiber, created by German artist HA Schult. We are in the trash time,” he was quoted as telling AFP news agency. “We produce trash and we will be trash. This hotel is the mirror of the situation. “We have to change the world, before world changes us.” Would be guests at the hotel will have to hurry to book a room as opened from 3-7 June, and bookings hard to come by on 5 June which marks World Environment Day. Another similar hotel is made entirely of rubbish opened Spanish capital Madrid.

A man looks out from a bedroom at Save the Beach hotel in Rome, 4 June 2010Environmentalism needs to be taken very seriously as walls of BeachGarbage Hotel is covered with detritus deposited by tide in Europe and the waste found in dumps and some items bought at flea markets. There is a big gap between the rate of production and purchasing new items used once and discarded despite being in perfect condition. The idea of keeping anything to be reused by some people seems hoarding so minimalists prefer using item and get another again when the time arrives. The disposable instant generation grow with too much super abundance taken for granted. The impact affects outsourced regions that do not benefit from the huge profits of constantly changing products for thrill of novelty and boredom of resuse. Still many lack awareness of how long item takes from seed, growth, to processing stage of fabric knitting and weaving to garments, cost of transporting, whole sale storage, retail rent, maintenance in shops to buyer affects environmental carbon footprints reflected in weather changes. Advertising and irresponsible marketing, consumerism damage earth causing imbalance of carbon cycle and destroys natural habitat beauty. So acid rain falls with toxic chemicals on plants ruining crops, rivers hence the droughts and famines damaging earth. The desire to only use brand new things always is the cause of not reusing perfectly good items because after event thrown away.

THE PROCESS OF DIVORCE

The majority of the arguments centre around the division of assetsDivorce is an unpleasant process more awful when separating couples cannot reach agreement, engage in litigation. Suddenly the love of your life becomes opponent and contributions to marriage is pored over by lawyers and potentially judges. Divorce can become gendered family lawyers will be acutely aware of the unfortunate tendency to refer to the ‘breadwinning husband’ homemaking wife’ This does not reflect the reality of many modern marriages but often it is the wife who undertakes most childcare and domestic duties, while the husband has created most of the wealth for the family. Most people think of the actual divorce as the most stressful element but is resolved fairly swiftly. For most married couples this reflects the basic principle of their union: you are a team, you share responsibilities and funds, and make joint decisions. So what happens if not on the same side? It was a question posed by most cases.workdivorcecomp-medium_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8

Millionaire businessman Mr Work was ordered to pay his wife half his £140m fortune in 2015, but fought the court’s decision, saying his wife ‘stayed home’ during 2 decades long marriage, during which she raised their two children. He argued he made all the family’s money and claimed to posses quality of genius enabled him to do this without support of his wife. Court of Appeal disagreed so dismissed Mr Work’s appeal. He must pay half of his fortune to ex wife, after judge accepts she is a ‘good homemaker and good mother,’ adding it was down to her willingness to move to Japan the husband was able to amass his wealth.78630843.jpg

The important decision for stay-at-home mothers raises questions of how judges should consider the spouses’ respective contributions in ‘big money’ divorce cases. Most people think actual divorce most stressful element but is usually resolved fairly swiftly. Majority of the arguments centre around division of assets or some technicalities or division of everything couple collectively own and earned during marriage. England and Wales is known to be one of the most generous jurisdictions there is. London is the divorce capital of world for fairness is central to process and in cases each party’s financial needs are met by the assets available, the starting point for division is 50:50. The Court has wide discretion when making financial orders and considers a range of factors. One factor is the contribution that both the husband and wife made. Thanks to new verdict, it is now settled law there should be no discrimination between breadwinner and homemaker. Staying at home, cooking, cleaning, reading to children is as important as working 12 hours a day on trading floor earning £1m a year. Mothers feel they make special contribution of ‘exceptional quality’ every day. Over the years various arguments used by mostly wealthy husbands to convince courts is award to their spouse to be less than 50 per cent. The favourite known as special contribution involves arguing financial input to marriage was significant award should be increased in their favour. To be successful need to amass significant wealth and show they used ‘exceptional quality’ or ‘genius’ to achieve this.divorce-370559.jpg

What about homemakers? How does this not discriminate against the wife, at home with the children every day? The wife quietly supporting her husband in his endeavours? What about spouse who sacrificed own successful career? Or those who are juggling both a career and childcare? Many mothers no doubt feel they make a special contribution of ‘exceptional quality’ daily. The Court of Appeal has confirmed this principle still stands though many hope it will in due course either limited or abolished by the Supreme Court. Litigation is bad enough without having to rummage into the detail of who did what and when to justify their contribution. In addition to cases where wife receives a substantial lump sum settlement such as Mandy Gray will get. In England and Wales one of the attractive forums in the world is for the financially weaker spouse paid maintenance for life. This concept is alien to nearby jurisdictions. Just across the border in Scotland, the maximum maintenance term is three years. However, this ‘meal ticket for life’ is becoming rarer. The Court looks at each spouse’s income and earning capacity. Consideration is given to whether or not having a qualification worked recently or assumes childcare responsibilities. The test is whether, in light of all these circumstances payee adjust to their financial independence without undue hardship. Judges want to see hard evidence of efforts of receiving party to maximise earning capacity.Family.jpg
Some wives may think its unfair if was agreed during the marriage that they would be supported financially and made sacrifices to this effect. Others may welcome opportunity to re-enter the working world; potentially a new lease of life after divorce. Although returning to work, for women, is unduly tough – despite the glut of ‘returnships’ now on offer from big companies. What is clear is society moves on so does the family law. Undoubtedly the problem is focus continues to be trying to achieve fairness for both husbands and wives. One imagines Ms Gray would agree that this has been achieved.

5 things about divorce Ayesha Vardag

1. It takes longer and be more harrowing than you think.

If everything can be agreed then it is possible for a case to be resolved in a few weeks but more likely exchanging disclosure, attending court hammering out a settlement will take around a year, and often more, and it can really wear you down. It is a marathon endeavour so important to keep your spirits up.

2. Ending marriage and finance issues are completely separate.

The reasons for the marriage ending will almost never affect the financial outcome and the court will not punish a spouse for marital indiscretions.

3. Courts less glamorous than you imagine.

Most English courts mahogany-panelled Victorian masterpieces, but most poorly maintained post-war monstrosities with hot, airless waiting rooms and windows that do not open, where you wait for hours on end, the tension is unbearable. Arbitration or a private family dispute resolution offers chance to move case to salubrious surroundings to settle it.

4. Nothing is “off the record”.

You are required to be fully frank about finances so lawyers are not allowed to help hide assets or lie to partner. To courts, honesty really is the best policy.

5. Can be cathartic experience.

Many people assume that divorce is an upsetting business. While it is never easy to bring a marriage to an end, for many the chance to move forward and build a new chapter of their life can be a rejuvenating experience. Usually the clients get happier, stronger and visibly empowered as process goes forward. Above all during the divorce ongoing conflict between parents can affect the children’s mental health, development of social and emotional skills, academic attainment and can impact their ability to form future relationships. It can also damage physical health, lasting through their adult lives into next generation as it starts early. Agreeing to disagree for the sake of the children is very helpful.

 

Alexandra Hirst is a solicitor specialising in family law at Boodle Hatfield

MOVING IN TOGETHER

10-Signs-Its-a-Good-Idea-to-Move-in-with-Your-PartnerMoving in and living together is seen as most exciting time ever if a relationship is going well. Often many factors include being closer together because deeply in love and economic reasons. After falling in love the next level is planning future together hopefully for life. The focus of excitement to see it happen absolutely is amazing. You just cannot wait to cook dinner together, feel super domestic, and yeah, maybe you want to show off to friends you not only landed an awesome boyfriend but committing to each other even more. You know that you definitely deserve to be happy about this and even sure you are right because you got far to this point. You may think you can still mess things up or make some mistakes but decides to go ahead anyway. This is often the case for some people when one is totally fixated on these things so your relationship does not end. Researchers find 15 useful points couples must note when moving in together.Young Adult Using Laptop

1. Thinks Life Stays Same

Many think life at the beginning of their relationship stays in the same romantic phase permanently in state of euphoria. Hence choices and planning of decisions are based on utopia mindset of perfect happiness. Being in love means to them everything harmonises perfectly in state of synchronicity. The truth is anytime a big step is taken in relationship it means things are going to change. It is not a bad thing at all but means you have to admit that something has shifted and there is a new dynamic you need to deal with it. So a lot of couples make the mistake of not thinking anything changes when they decide to live together. Again, it is not anything negative it is just something to keep an eye on. By bringing two lives together essentially each has a different habit when it comes to how you live. So maybe you are a morning person and you kind of annoy everyone but hey, they are jealous and your partner is a total night owl. That means things can change a little bit. You might have to go to bed at separate times or find other times of day to hang out. You have to just figure this out but it’s definitely possible.15.jpg

2. SuperHigh Expectation

Most relationship definitely face super high expectations of each other some almost humanly impossible. So having super high expectations and partner not meeting them causes anger, frustrations and dissatisfaction. Maybe they do not know what you want them to do so they cannot meet them as they are not mind readers. Maybe they cannot meet them because you want too much and so they cannot give you what you are looking for. Unrealistic expectations can ruin totally or break a relationship. When you move in, you do not want to have crazy high expectations that no sane person could ever meet, let alone the person you love. Many couples make this mistake. They think moving in together totally solves problems in their relationship just for a while but think the negative completely disappears except the very best stuff. It is not real life so not the right way to go. Think of MasterChef with the identical ingredients, scales, cookers, tools, recipe given to a team of professionals. After watching practical demonstration of the exact recipe perfectly made by a gourmet chef their meals never look or taste the same. A certain level of experience and a personal touch always produces better quality. In the same manner, nobody can perfectly replicate exact clone of loved one no matter how deeply in love they may be. Worth noting love alone is not enough to transform anyone overnight into an image of fantasy partner existing inside one’s head. Some people never think anyone is perfect for them so need to create one themselves.   moving-in.jpg
3. Doing It For The Money

Sometimes it seems a good idea to move into a place together because financially it is a good idea. But you have to make sure you think about this. Just because you find a place that you are absolutely in love with does mean that you should make decision that you can both afford so check long-term if good idea to move in together. First of all, before you decide to live together you need to have a talk with written agreement to ensure you keep up with whatever decisions made. This means that both of you are willing and ready. Often times if you fall in love with a place and think that this is a good idea before taking the necessary steps you will realize that it can cause a whole lot of issues for the two of you. Make sure you are not moving at a faster pace than your relationship is ready for.moving-in-together.jpg

4. Respecting Differences

Again, you and your partner might have way more differences than you know and those things only become super- clear after you move in together. You could be a neat freak and they could be furthest thing from that. You must respect fact they thinking you are nagging always on their case to clean up or do dishes, if not you are asking for a major relationship trouble. You have to respect differences and talk about this properly. You can say something like, “Hey, I get it does not bother you if dirty dishes are left in the sink, but I do not love it, so maybe we can take turns.” If they truly love you so hopefully does since you are now living together is a pretty massive step. You, need to understand where both come from to negotiate teamwork and learn to agree to disagree on other differences.article-0-1842F93C00000578-336_634x373.jpg

5. Seeing Each Other 24/7

When couples move in together because they want to spend more time together, after already spending time hanging out and staying over at each other’s places they figure out it is time and they might as well live together. It just makes total and complete sense as a really great next step. But if you think moving in with a partner  means that you should see each other 24/7, you are on the wrong track. Yes, you love one another and yes, you want to see each other as much as you possibly can. But you both still need to live your own lives and see your families and see your friends and keep up your hobbies and interests. Do not just drop everything and everyone in your life now because you live with your partner. That is asking for a total disaster. Be honest about how much space you need and do the same partner and family.55_dating_advice-909388-TwoByOne

6.Nagging & Complaining

Pointing out what is wrong instead of an appreciation of what is right is nagging. Why ignore a 90% strong points to zoom in on 10% weaknesses as long as it is not a risk to life or aggressive behaviour that causes harm or any danger. Be honest are you perfect yourself? Nagging is the projection of self onto others to compel them to behave exactly like you. In other words you want your identical clone to just like you. You already know this is making a total and complete stereotype, so honestly, why would you do this? Do you want your partner to hate you and resent you and eventually leave you? You definitely want to cut this out and soon. A lot of couples make mistake of nagging each other when they move in together, so yes, it definitely goes both ways and guys can do this, too, even if you don’t think so. Your might ask to chill out a little bit about chores and taking care of apartment or might say you are hanging out with your friends too much and nag you about how you need to spend more time at home. Do your best and say you both need to communicate properly and that neither one of you should make the other one feel bad.First-Time-House-Buyers.jpg

7. Both Being Honest

Sometimes couples living together are not totally honest about what they each want. Maybe wants a certain apartment but your partner hates it so did not push for it or vice versa. Is not ideal situation if both move into an apartment and you do not both absolutely adore it, but yeah, it does happen. If you’ve moved in with someone before, you’ve probably made the mistake of not being honest about the kind of living accommodations that you’re looking for, and if you haven’t lived with anyone yet, you definitely will in the future. It is just one of the things that usually happens for good reason to make partner happy so wants the same thing for you, so you tiptoe around this kind of issue and act like everything is totally fine. Until, of course, it all comes crashing down later on always be honest because if not you pay it for it later.first_time_home_buyer_north_carolina_350

8. Treating As Y/our Place

Avoid mistake of acting an apartment is still totally yours if your partner moved in with you, you are not alone there. The same thing applies if you move into their apartment or you got a totally new place altogether. The truth is a place belongs to both of you now and you definitely have to get used to that. You cannot just invite people over without telling your partner and vice versa, and you cannot decorate it however, cannot randomly rearrange furniture without telling other person. You just cannot unless you want to start a huge argument and then, by all means, go ahead. This is part of what makes living together so new and difficult. It is not all fun and games as there are some real decisions to make with your partner. Even if you take initiative or want to surprise it is good to have approval out of respect not belittle partner. Hopefully, you will get used to realizing you share space now and things will be okay.Happy-Homeowners-(Website)-77267-1

9.Being Choosy & Picky

Being choosy, picky and overdemanding in the name of perfection drains partner emotionally. If you refuse to put up any painting your partner’s grandmother had given them or even painted because you claim it is super ugly and does not go with the rest of the apartment decor, you are not only being a jerk but making also a huge mistake. Same goes if actions any favourite pillow means a lot to you, so super attached to it. Many couples make mistake of deciding to live tougher and then getting super picky about furniture and decorations. It is easy to not see the forest from the trees, as they say to care so much about small irrelevant things that you do not realize the big picture of what really matters. The big picture of course, is that you love someone enough to live with them. That is no small thing. Choose safe well-structured wardrobes to use without falling apart easily posing risk especially to small children or infirm in household. Ensure best quality and durable safe bed/rooms, electric, gas pipes checked to ensure safety. Be realistic and do repairs regularly for peace of mind.Rido.jpg

10.Housewarming Parties

You want to have a housewarming party when you move into a new place and so desire goes up about a million points as you are moving in with your partner. You want to housewarming party, asking for tons of trouble and do not realize how much this strain on your relationship. The same thing will definitely happen if your partner wants to throw party earlier than you do or tries to control the whole thing. Talk to each other openly honestly about when you both want to throw this party and definitely think plan together the details and costs or clean up after.man-woman-floor-boxes-lying-down.jpg

11. Being A United Team 

Yeah, you have been living alone for a while now, and even though you’ve been in this happy and serious relationship, you have still had your own space. You could do what you want, when you want, and you made decisions about going to sleep or when to cook or when to clean without having to ask someone else if it  is okay. But now you are part of a team and it is not just your space anymore, so  that is a huge change. A lot of couples make mistake of not acting like they are part of a team now that they moved in together. You cannot just rearrange your entire living room without talking to the partner or decide to retile the bathroom floor without them running it by you first. You have to talk things out and figure them out together. If you do not want to do it this living arrangement might not work neither will relationship.article-2537031-0409F75F00000514-609_634x376.jpg

12.On The Best Behaviour

Yes, of course, you want to be on your best behaviour around other people, but around your romantic partner? Why would not just be yourself to relax a little bit more? A lot of couples think  when they move in together, they should not walk around in ugly sweats anymore or do the things they used to do. But that is a huge mistake and so wrong. You are sharing your life with your partner now, along with your apartment and deserve to be yourself and be real as possible. You can absolutely break out your ugliest sweatpants or slippers and just might become inside joke between two of you, which is totally cool. You should not be afraid to relax and act the way you did before when you just lived alone both do the same thing within reason, of course. You may not want to see the messiest so hopefully can reign it a little bit you two.couple-fighting-on-couch

13. Fighting Too Much

Some couples move in together and then automatically start fighting too much. The thing is this does not have to happen at all so can absolutely work hard to prevent it. It is easier to fight with someone you see all the time every single day. You expect them to figure things out so there is no reason to tell them exactly what is on your mind but you should be honest all the time. And yes, honesty is a good idea yet there is a fine line between honesty and being kind of mean and cruel. Do not be honest you hurt your partner’s feelings. If you both just share intimacy together but cannot seem stop bickering about little stuff, you need to set some ground rules and boundaries. Talk about how you will divide up chores, domestic stuff like cooking and cleaning. Until you figure that out you will keep fighting so not good for anyone.cohabiting_couple_182624410

14. Expecting Romance

This is a huge mistake lots of couples make, and is a pretty obvious one. Of course, you think things are going to be super romantic 24/7 when actually living with one you love the most in the world. But that does not take into account being sick, being exhausted, being stressed out at work and general life stuff. Moving in together is kind of like getting a taste of what is married life so you definitely will deal with a lot of things you never had to deal with before. You must be open and honest with each other about literally all you are dealing with, whether you want to or not. If you do not sleep together  every single night or have the hottest love life ever, that is not a bad thing. That means your relationship matures as love changes and gets back to normal. A point to remember is libido changes with small children so find new hide outs for timing intimacy passion. You need to be creative as not same as just the two of you before raising family.

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15. Have Zero Problems

You cannot have children then expect the home to remain as if you live in a show room because the house is an investment to sell on. Some do not let children sit on sofa, play, roll on floor in living room so raised like little soldier’s in ‘the sound of music.’ Perfect children and families only happily ever after relationship happens in TV drama, Mills and Boon’s romantic novels, real life is warts and all. Couples think once they make important decision to move in together are truly committing to each other so will have zero problems. If things get more complicated when you move in with someone it is normal but, that is not a bad thing at all unless you make it one. Both are own whole people and with your own thoughts, feelings, ideas and you have your own schedules and routines. Those are bound to clash so that is okay. That is what is supposed to happen. Do your best to be patient as the two of you get used to your new living situation and work out the issues within a good frame of time. Just because you are having a bit of trouble getting used to living together does not mean things are heading in a negative direction. Some recommend not moving in together before marriage often it does not work out in favour of the majority   who tried due to lack of commitment. At other times couples need support of the family members and friends to survive. So it is wise in both best interest not to exclude isolate or burn love bridges as you are too deeply involved to make room for any other person. That is too close for comfort so can suffocate the relationship. Above all, God said it is not good to be alone so seek God’s Face to guide and help you build up a sound foundation. Do not let your picker or physical looks attraction be the only deciding factor of relationship. A reliable interdependent relationship nurtures love essential to a mature love. Life is dynamic so changes take place daily in both if children are involved. Create play corner, child space include learning and music. Continue to date once a month minimum and get a baby sitter and do not call every second instead of relaxing with your partner. If possible for stability of children choose a location nearby with schools, church and parks locally. Aim for property longterm so children will not miss out on forming durable friendships and family support. Pay closer attention to household chores like removing rubbish. USD multilayered plastic bags if suitable inlaid with paper to soak wet waste that is not made into compost. Separate to recycle useful gabbage because one man’s thrash is another’s treasure. Keep baby waste out doors in safe covered bins do not breath it indoors including removing cat litter from tray daily for good hygiene practice.Small-trash-can-with-our-bag__pp-300x300bin5final1-1024x769.jpg

16. Household Duties

Shopping, cooking, laundry and cleaning duties among others must meticulously planned and not left to chance. Both will do certain tasks better so agree and make a to do list to remind yourself if not able to hire a housekeeper to do it for you. A happy life depends on smooth  running of the home and good time schedules as part of a team working together. Simple tips include advance preparation to be ahead of time. A dustbin layered with many bags with disinfectant in between each saves time to remove rubbish. Also clear water closet with clean tissue on top of unflashed loo, push down brush left in during flashing to cut the cost of calling plumber every five minutes. It prevents ungastly sight of a heavy soiling stubborn stains on brush that refuse to be shifted by flashing alone. Persist and repeat process many times until clean for next use. Never let toilet brush directly touch loo instead use tissues to form a barrier to keep the brush clean from harbouring germs and bacteria. After flashing loo, use fresh clean tissue to pick and wipe handle, disinfect brush after cleaning and wash hands thoroughly. Soak brush in a disinfectant  container holding brush in the toilet to continue daily disinfectation. If at first you do not succeed try again to leave brush inside bowl with tissue covering loo and flash but do not stuff lavatory with tissues out of sheer frustration to cost you plumber fees. If not sure what to do leave it with the experts in case it is a pipe blockage elsewhere. Life can be easily managed if you know how.