MODERN CHILDCARE NEEDS

Andy Shelley and babyAndy Shelley says his time on parental leave was “eye-opening.” Following the release of a poll which suggested 27% of mothers did not enjoy their maternity leave as much as they thought they would, parents have been sharing their experience of parental leave – both good and bad. Some people got in touch after following BBC Radio 5 Live presenter Emma Barnett’s open and honest account of her time away from work looking after her baby son, a time which she described as being “bloody hard and at times, lonely.” So what’s it like to be the one who stays at home and looks after the baby? Three parents share their very different experiences. The good, the bad and unexpected child care needs. ‘I thought my partner was just off work.’ Andy Shelley’s girlfriend gave birth to their daughter in March and the couple decided to take shared parental leavePrior to making choice, Andy’s partner had been looking after their daughter while he worked 12-hour days. “It was difficult because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough,” he says. Thirty-year-old Andy took over full-time care for two months in July, but admits he was not aware just how much work was involved in staying home and looking after his daughter. “Initially I thought parental leave would be a nice break from work but it wasn’t easy. “Some days she would be upset and I just didn’t know what to do. Your entire day revolves around feeds. It becomes a full-time job in itself. “I would be happy when my partner came home from work as it meant I could have a break.” The Stoke-On-Trent resident says his experience of parental leave was important as he realised how much his girlfriend had been doing when he thought she was “just off work.” “It made me appreciate everything she had done and ultimately cemented my relationship with my daughter. “It’s a shame more fathers don’t take parental leave as it really opens your eyes and you realise what your partner deals with.”‘I made sure I kept busy’Sandrine Charpentier and her two daughtersSandrine Charpentier said “clear vision” for her maternity leave and made sure its “wonderful experience.” Sandrine Charpentier, from Hayes in Kent, says her maternity leave with both of her daughters, now aged six and nine, was a “really positive experience.” Despite not knowing many people where she lived, Sandrine made sure she wasn’t isolated by booking a different activity every day. “We would do baby swimming, yoga, singing and play groups. It motivated me to get dressed and get out of the house. “The whole time I was really tired but I thought that was just part of the job. “It was great to meet people, be social and talk about our experiences. I was really happy during that time and it was great for my daughters.” As much as she enjoyed her maternity leave, the mum-of-two admits it was nice to return to work. “Being at work was like a holiday because I was free to do what I wanted. I didn’t have somebody glued to me all the time. “It was good to do something different, to meet people and not talk about nappies and babies all the time.” ‘It’s difficult to be accepted as a stay-at-home dad’Child playingPeople were shocked when Craig Smith said he was going to be a stay-at-home father Craig Smith, 42 in Staffordshire became stay-at-home dad to daughter, Matilda, in January when she was eight months old. His wife has a high-level job so they decided that it would be best for him to give up work and focus on their daughter’s early years. “I was very up for the challenge as I’ve always wanted children, but I didn’t really think about what was involved in being a full-time dad. “Sometimes it’s hard because all Matilda wants is her mum.” Craig says his experience made him realise there is not enough support for stay-at-home dads. “I tried to integrate with local playgroups, but the mums can be quite cliquey and it’s very difficult for a dad to be accepted. “A lot of mum-and-baby groups say fathers are welcome but in reality it’s not like that – the mums can be quite cold.” Craig is planning on going back to work part-time when Matilda starts nursery, but says he feels anxious at the prospect of returning to normality. “It feels like my brain has been conditioned to sing to Peppa Pig or nursery rhymes. The thought of carrying out serious and responsible tasks within a role kind of scares me.

Good, bad, unexpected childcare needs

More on this story

  • Why maternity leave can be harder and lonelier than you imagine
    29 November 2018
  • Video New survey of mums on maternity finds more than a quarter struggle.
    29 November 2018
  • Shared parental leave take-up may be as low as 2%
    12 February 2018
  • How the UK’s new rules on parental leave work
    5 April 2015

Related Internet links

  • Shared Parental Leave and Pay – GOV.UK

The BBC is not responsible for the content of external Internet sites

GOD RESTORES LOST SOULS

1543148057336-452672964.jpgGod RESTORES lost souls says Psalm 23.3-4 and Galatians 6:1 says brothers and sisters if someone sins you who are SPIRITUAL RESTORE person and show them faults in PRIVATE. If they listen, you won your brother. 2 Thessalonians 3:15 says do not treat them as enemy but help them as brother in Christ, ‘just as if’ they never sinned. GOD LOVES sinners but hates sin. 1 Timothy 5:20 says if they continue in sin rebuke them in the presence of all, so the rest will be fearful to sin. Public rebuke is often first used without the private restoration to instill fear in others shames them. Does not lead to genuine repentance, causes chaos, divides the Church members into sympathisers or opponent antagonists. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All Scripture is inspired by God, profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, training in righteousness; so the man of God is adequately equipped for every GOOD WORK. Acts 20:28 states, “Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock for the Holy Spirit made you overseers to shepherd the Church of God purchased with Jesus’ BLOOD. James 1:19, beloved brethren be quick to hear slow to speak slow to anger, no critical comments to stir up hatred to flare evil negative emotions. Godly restoration of wrong for reconciliation is hard but the hardest part is forgiving yourself and all others who wrong you or you wronged them. Whether victim or perpetrator, or right or wrong both needs God’s Mercy, Grace to forgive to receive forgiveness. God said you forgive to be forgiven by God. So leave your gifts at the altar and resolve conflict before you enter God’s HOLY PRESENCE HIS Sanctuary through BLOOD OF JESUS. OUR LORD GOD & SAVIOUR ARE PURE IN HEART so pure in heart shall see God. Psalm 51:10 says, create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. And Lamentations 5:21 says, Restore us to yourself, O LORD so we may be restored Renew our days as of old we loved and honoured you. Lamentations 3:40 says it is your conscience that helps to test and examine our ways to return to the Lord. Acts 3:19 says, Repent and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the LORD. Jeremiah 3:66 The LORD said if like days of king Josiah you backslided as Israel did on high mountain or under green trees played the harlot God says HE WILL FORGIVE if you repent. Time for the whole church, individuals and in your private prayer closet. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything and a time for talking, silence, joy, grief, tears, love and hate under heaven.” And 1 John 1:19 says, “If we confess our sins, God faithfully forgives sins to purify us from all unrighteousness.” If you are busy minding other’s sins, God says in Matthew 26:41, Watch and pray so you will not fall into same temptations you accuse others of. So spirit is willing but the flesh is weak but Jesus said if you are weak you are strong through Holy Spirit. Ask God’s forgiveness and repent in Jesus Name. Bow down at the feet of Lord Jesus Christ as a humble vessel so GOD will forgive you. And get Spiritual mentor to guide you to quality of Christ not focus on speck in other’s eyes, says Matthew 7:3. And Psalm 145:14 says The LORD upholds all who fall and lifts up all bowed down. All who overcome will be clothed in white garments, and I will not blot out their name from the Book of Life, I will confess their names before My FATHER God and before HIS angels says Revelation 3:4-5. Praise Jesus Christ our Lord, and Saviour. “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen. Accept Jesus Christ Who gave His Life on Cross at Calvary, to receive Forgiveness freely available through His ULTIMATE SACRIFICE to Come into your life to live in your heart to be your KING, Lord and Saviour.1543147650346-452672964.jpg And from this day not be controlled by sin or desire to please self but follow Jesus all the days of your life. Ask this in Jesus’ precious Holy Name, Amen. In Matthew 18:15-17, Bible says if refuses to LISTEN take one, two-three people with you so BY MOUTH OF TWO, THREE WITNESSES to CONFIRM action but if still refuses to listen, tell Church. And if refuses to listen to the Church let them be Gentile or tax collector to you. The Bible verses help Church members or their leaders clearly to guide people using God’s right procedure. Know God wants restoration in Church to help to ensure Jesus is at centre of a restoration process. Bible’s approach is opportunity for people to take initiative to seek help for those who miss the mark. A person suffering secretly in sin struggles and to keep up with effects of sin damage their lives and those involved. Some may play games with people’s emotions in denial but deep down in their heart crying out for help. It takes courage to open up and seek help and forgiveness of those they offended. Damage done affects so many people causing others to lose the faith in God. Its painful, sad, shocking believers confess of falling into sin. What do you do when a beloved brother or sister in Christ makes wrong choice to fall in sin? First direct them to pray and ask God’s forgiveness to repent and make effort to actively stop the sin. Abraham restored Lot his fallen nephew in Genesis 14:1-24 when he and Sarah left Haran to travel to Canaan in Genesis 12.4. Abraham’s nephew Lot chose to take risks in a war zone among enemies to stay behind. Abraham rescued Lot in time when Amraphel a king of Shinar, Arioch king of Ellasar, Kedorlaomer the king of Elam and Tidal king of Goyim four kings seized all goods of Sodom, Gomorrah their food, took Abraham’s nephew Lot and his possessions as he lived in Sodom. A man who escaped reported it Abraham living near the great trees of Mamre the Amorite, of Eshkoland Aner allied with Abraham. Abram took 318 trained men in his household in pursuit to Dan. Abraham divided his men to attack and routed them Hobah north of Damascus. He recovered all goods so brought back Lot and his possessions together with the women and others. So Abraham after defeating Kedorlaomer and kings allied with him, the king of Sodom came out to meet him in Valley of Shaveh or the King’s Valley. Abraham risked his life with the others to rescue stubborn nephew who chose to stay in a place against advise. He got into trouble but chose the most fertile land later and did not remember his uncle’s sacrifice. People why God told Abraham to leave his family and kindred in Iraq but chose to bring Lot along with his aged father to slow him down. Despite Abraham’s best efforts Lot eventually flees Sodom with his daughters and his wife turned into Pillar of salt. His daughters mated with their father to create the Moabites known for history of incest. Abraham’s risk and correction of Lot seems a waste of time probably best if he perished life would have been better. Often onlooker is reluctant to get involved in another person’s mess if it endangers their life. Abraham’s effort to RESTORE Lot and his family to reconnect to God under the tutelage of Abraham didn’t last long. As you can take a horse to the water but can’t force it to drink. Abraham played a crucial role in his need to restore Lot by a bold victory in battle yet Lot yields to sin by learning the evil ways of Sodom. Abraham thought Lot learnt his lesson and listened so gained his nephew back. Lot went back to his old ways so became his own master of destruction. It easy to spot anyone in sin to forgive and restore them to SAVE YOUR SOUL. Abraham’s experience with Lot is a classic example of futile efforts to help others in vain. So in this case Abraham saved his soul by doing the right thing to obey God to help his nephew in a time of need by wrong choices. First reaction is condemnation and shaming of person to disgrace them to change. This is not Biblical because it makes the situation worse to harden the heart and embarrass them so never step in Church again. A naive young baby Christian may not fully know the word of God makes mistakes in the beginning.1543147839273-1104846375.jpg Titus 3:10-11, reject them and run away like Joseph after first, second warning if person is bent on sin self-condemns. In 1 Corinthians 5:11, ‘I wrote to you not to associate with immoral person covetous or idolater, reviler, drunkard, swindler do not eat with them. In 2 Romans 13 : 4, if a minister of God to you is good but some do evil, be afraid; for they do not bear sword for nothing; for a minister of God is avenger who brings wrath on the ones who practice evil.In 1 Timothy 1:20 Hymenaeus and Alexander handed over to satan to be afflicted and taught not to blaspheme. Their flesh tormented by satan forces them to seek God’s Face to deliver their souls. In 1 Corinthians 5:5 some believers deliver to satan for destruction of flesh, so the spirit may be saved in day of the Lord Jesus. Romans 16:17 urges brethren to keep eyes on all those who cause divisions, hindrances contrary to teachings learnt and turn away from them. In Galatians 6:1 those Spiritual are to restore sinner in SPIRIT of GENTLENESS so you too will not be tempted. The Righteous fall 7 times but God lifts them up. Jesus said forgive 70 x 70 time = 490 times per day not be bitter and revengeful but leaving judgement to God the GREATEST ‘ Judge and Avenger.’ If they commit atrocities as God’s Children and sin against God the ALMIGHTY God deals with them for all Powers and Authority in Heaven and Earth is given to Lord Jesus Christ and Saviour the rightful judge to restore the backslider. Remember the story of King David, a friend of God punished by God after adultery with Uriah’s wife tried to cover his sins transferred innocent man Uriah to war front killed in battle. God is Righteous and David was punished for his wickedness. God gave David 2 two options for his punishment to choose. a) God wants to hand him to enemies to be punished  b) God punish him HIMSELF. David chose God to inflict punishment for ‘man is cruel and wicked’ but God is compassionate and merciful so restored David. Man will totally and completely will destroy everything about him is a lesson for all to learn in Church. It is God’s BUSINESS so leave it for God. The man of God and sinners disobeys God’s Word so that is God’s exclusive domain. Judas betrayed Christ, but it did not affect His Ministry. Ministers of God and apostles in many Churches of God commit sin in House of God but it does not affect God in those Churches. People out of frustration and lack of patience, deny God to backslide but still God gives them another chance. In Jeremiah 3:14, “Return, O backsliding children” says The LORD; “I AM married to you. I will take you. One from a city and two from a family and bring you to Zion.” Human make mistakes so like all open to Forgiveness and Restoration by God Himself. Encourage, pray, believe God for restoration. Stress pressurizes  people of God to seek relief in a secular way but leave them to God’s judgement. Pray the LORD’s wrath on detractors is cancelled for the unity of Church of God in Jesus Name, Ephesians 4:4-7 says as one body and Spirit, called in one hope of your calling; one LORD, one faith, one baptism: one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all and in you all. To each one grace is given according to measure of Christ’s gift.” These words of God in Jesus Name, Amen, Jesus said, “all those without sin cast the first stone as Jesus told woman caught in adultery, so given second chance to go and sin no more. The man involved her accusers pardoned so left her alone, reminded of their own sinful natures by Jesus Christ. Does it mean this woman can count on Jesus’ forgiveness to repeat sinful action because of guaranteed mercy of God? Of course not Bible says because the Grace of God abounds is not licence to sin. The years of ignorance God forgives because unaware of consequences. A deliberate sin commited and excused by qouting Roman 8:38-39 that nothing separates a believer from God is the willful offence used to manipulate naive Christians to engage in sin. “For I am persuaded that death, life, angels, principalities, powers or things present, things to come, height depth or another creature can separate us from the LOVE of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. So verse is twisted to convince believer God forgives no matter the sin of killing, stealing or destructions due to lust. Joseph refused to “sin against God” but punished for his honesty, loyalty to God and his master Portipher. A person who does not get their evil way harasses the one strong in the LORD who refuses to sin with them like Portipher’s wife lied about Joseph who run from sin. The person blackmails a victim, withdraws all favour, isolates them to stop others defeating them too. Be careful when a person is victimised for standing up for Christ in righteousness. The perpetrator puts them down like Joseph for refusing an evil request for doing the right thing. Its better to Obey and please God rather than join a man to use and abuse you. It may cost you material possessions and reputation but God will supply all your needs from Glory in heaven. Joseph’s is a great example of God rewarding and promoting Joseph who was harassed by his siblings in the family. Though Joseph suffered God honoured him to save the world from the 7 years famine in Egypt. a-gospel-that-doesnt-include-repentance-is-a-false-gospel-768x768.jpgThe woman caught in adultery is sent to seek God’s punishment but found Grace, Mercy for forgiveness Jesus forgave her. The self-righteous condemned her to death but Bible says confess your sins to God and cover all other people’s sins. It does not mean condoning but is none of your business if you witnessed it. Spreading negative rumours DEFILES the innocent mind and distract Gospel. The devil uses gossip to stop receiving deliverance. It takes two tango so those scorned and embittered but didn’t walk away repent. Some went back for more abuse, play victim to attack, spread hatred. Bible says, what is true and of GOOD REPORT think on these things. For evil reports, fast privately on behalf to INTERCEDE with Jesus the INTERCESSOR in heaven. Gossipers will not enter kingdom of God for the sin of defiling minds of others to cause them to depart from the faith. Gossip is as evil as murder, adultery etc. Corinthians 6:9-10 says, backbiters, gossips, slanderers, will not inherit THE KINGDOM OF GOD. Unless they REPENT will be shut out of the KINGDOM of HEAVEN. Let God deal with sin for the greater the calling the bigger the target of satan’s attacks. And despite God’s punishment the Covenant continues through Jesus to sit on throne of King David. God’s Mercy is for people who humble themselves God Forgives. King Solomon’s mother was married to King David after her husband Uriah was killed. Despite sin God chose Solomon to build HIM a Temple in Jerusalem. Don’t sin putting your mouth against people who sin against God the CREATOR and people being destroyed by perpetrators. Who appoint you judge of God’s people? They face Spiritual attack so cover them in prayer and by the Blood of Jesus. And 1 Corinthians 6.9-10 says its duty to God is to pray for mercy but NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS to spread such gossip online, by phone, email, texts or verbally to do more damage to them and yourself. The metoo# movement is global so sleeping with wo/men/girls has become common phenomenon in Church, homes, schools, offices, shrines, Bible college, seminary villages all locations, clubs etc. Angels in heaven fell down and slept with women on earth to produce the giant nephilims. Perfect people do not exist on earth but strive for perfection by God’s Grace. Its crucial Children of God abstain from all sins in the Body of Christ in the Church of God to have good success by God’s Grace in Jesus Name. Such a common occurrence of prevalent drives Church to seek God’s Face more. Church general overseers snatch other’s wives and the paedophile priests falls like the secular people. Church has heard or known all problems in society everywhere but it is the Grace of God that sustains Churches. As David fell and rose again in the Bible so challenge of sin with thoughts, sight or body, is a weakness for everyone to overcome. Have you overcome yours, whether in pulpit or pew? Revealing or advertising sin committed in secret seen by God is non of your business. Pray for all to overcome weaknesses and grow in Jesus Christ. The Church grows because Jesus said, gates of hell will not prevail against it in Jesus Name. A Church often condemned thrives, so attack favour the ministry accused, persecuted or suffers name calling harassment. God is behind the Church despite continued rumours and attacks used to try to cause damage to stop good success. Seek God yourself so Jesus will save, heal and deliver you for Eternal life of your soul not perish. It is endtimes and Jesus is Coming soon in Rapture so Gossip GOSPEL to win souls in Jesus Name for God’s KINGDOM to come on a perfect earth.

 

DO TOYS DISTRACT FOCUS?

Children become distracted when they are surrounded by toys Too many toys are bad for children as a study suggests that the children become distracted when they are surrounded by too many toys. This is what the parents have suspected all along. Children who have too many toys are more also easily distracted so do not enjoy that quality playtime with other children as the new study suggest. Researchers at University of Toledo in Ohio, US, recruited some 36 toddlers and invited them to play in a room for half an hour, with either four toys, or 16 toys. They found youngsters were far more creative when they had fewer toys to play with. And they played with each for twice as long, thinking up more uses for each toy and lengthening and expanding their games. The authors conclude parents, schools and nurseries should pack away most of their toys and just rotate a small number regularly, to help encourage the children to become more creative to improve the attention spans of the children. This study sought to determine if the number of toys in a toddlers’ environments influences their quality of play,” said the lead author Dr Carly Dauch in journalInfant Behaviour and Development.“The higher number of incidences of play in 16 toy condition did interfere with duration and depth of play. Other toys present created their external distractions. “During toddler years, children develop but not master, higher levels of control over attention. And their attention plus their play was disrupted by factors in an environment present with distractions. The results of the present study suggest an abundance of toys create distractions. But provided with fewer toys in their environments the toddlers engaged in longer periods of play with single toy allowing better focus to explore, play more creatively.”Getting rid of toys encourages children to read more or paint, say researchers Getting rid of toys encourages children to read more or paint, says researchers. Britons spend more than £3 billion each year on toys and surveys shows that a typical child owns 238 toys in total but parents think they play with just the 12 ‘favourites’ on a daily basis making up just five per cent of their toys. It is not the first time research suggested that too many toys distract children. In the 1990s the German researchers, Elke Schubert and Rainer Strick conducted experiment where the toys were taken away from Munich nursery for three months. After a few weeks, the children re-adjusted and their play became far more creative and social. The published research of their findings in their book, called, The Toy-free Nursery. In another book, ClutterFree with Kids the author, Joshua Becker also argued fewer toys are better for children because a sparse playroom encourages creativity to help children develop attention span and to teach youngsters about taking care of their possessions. “A child will rarely learn to fully appreciate the toy in front of them when there countless options are still remaining on the shelf behind them,” he said. “When children have too many toys, they will naturally take less care of them. And they will not learn to value them if there is their replacement ready at hand. “Fewer toys causes these children to become more resourceful by solving problems with only materials at hand. And resourcefulness is a gift with unlimited practical uses in their futures.

The research is published in the journal Infant Behaviour and Development. The conflict of interest of the toy companies advertising children playing with many latest toys makes parents feel obliged to buy them for the children not to feel left out. Children display their toys online on social media to compare with each other including the addictive games that stop children learning, doing homework assignments later in college, university or focus at work. Lack attention span or focus from childhood affects the adults today unable concentrate for few hours to complete tasks at hand. Christmas is around and parents must not let a child manipulate them emotionally to buy a toy without teaching them first value of essential basic reading at level. Children can get a few educational toy to reward them to do exceptionally well in a field of academic achievement at school. The development steared towards a specific direction of any future career requires relevant toys to influence natural gifts, talents and abilities. Otherwise parents unintentionally make children victim of success by their ability to buy too many toys they can afford. Just because it is possible to buy things seen on the TV in adverts does not mean it enhances their specific development. Parent knows the children best, whether they are trained experts or not must help child learn not to depend only on school to learn. Early learning through practical play is now rapidly eroded by virtual reality keep children cocooned online. So important to carefully reflect before Christmas on piling up toys to “prove” your “love” of your children to the world overloading them with too many toys. Experience shows most children are just so happy playing with the box, not expensive toys boosting their parents ego. Millennium children are suffering from the lack of a social understanding or interaction due to isolated attachment to toys valued as more precious than engaging with each other. Time consumed worrying about their toy possessions makes them miss out on appreciating fellow human being as adults due to learned behaviour. The competition among children, teenagers over toys leads further to threats of the perceived anger of friends loving them only for their material possessions. The toys must not take over to babysit their children without adult supervision and input. One of the best ways to bond with children is play with them sometimes to help them value the adults in their lives.

DECEIVER DECEIVES WORLD

1541626902374605598922.jpgDeceiver deceives deceived without some people realising satan deceived them. It is as Jesus warns in Matthew 24:24 that even elect deceived if not alert or aware of the manipulations. The devil is satan, father of all lies, deceiver, blinds, leads captives by deceit. So satan’s deception affects the whole world as scripture says to deceive all the nations. Deceitful goal deceived angels to try to overthrow God and to mislead believers because hates born-again Christians, Jews and God’s angels. Uses strategies to deceive to lead people down wrong path thousands of years. Once called lucifer and knows music that impresses people became too proud to submit to God. Chucked out of heaven targets God’s people on earth to deceive and recruit to hell exclusively prepared only for devil and demons. A lot of people think satan is just a comic invention for fun messing about taking the mick out of people. The subtle deceit comes in forms hard to discern because the deceived will recognise and reject it if it was made plain to them. The deceit sometimes offers even good proposal to deceive the person genuinely in need so its easy to deceive the deceived. Trust of people taken advantage of to deceive to create havoc as satan takes pleasure in sufferings of people affected.wp-1541628604178..jpg The devil comes to steal, kill, to destroy  but Jesus comes to give life even life more abundantly says John 10:10. The deceiver knows God has great love for HIS Children as Scriptures show. God is Spirit so those who love and God must do so in Spirit and Truth in Christ to direct, guide, strengthen and comfort people. The crafty deception of satan is packaged to deceit using wicked the evil spirits pretending to be friendly to deceive. The serpent of old, the devil aka satan deceives the whole world to cause confusion to rebel against God. So Eve said, “The serpent deceived her and affects the sin DNA in mankind. There is a cause and effect the deceiver drives to keep some people in captivity. The Bible presents satan as playing strategic role in deceiving people so they see God as a wicked father only waiting to punish or catch out His Children. As satan knows time is up so intensifies deceptions and misleads people to hate each other. The negative experiences of satan’s spiritual wickedness in high places to control the gullible people who don’t know God. So devil knows Bible and how God works better than believers who don’t study word of God like Bereans. People are given freewill to stop devil interfering their interest and well-being to test the spirits to see if they are from God.1541628137674605598922.jpg People must discern if plan or project is pleasing to God or if a decision is selfish and rebellious against God. Eventually, satan is bound by God not to deceive nations anymore says Revelations 20:1–3. The Lord God warns woe to deceivers who do not repent or forsake evil ways will face wrath of God to come during endtimes. There are many living stories about deceiver deceiving deceived but post is focussing on a few outstanding ones in the Bible. The Merciful Gracious LORD God forgives genuine repentance of all those who come to their senses to discover they were deceived. Jacob the deceiver who deceived father to take Esau’s Blessing. Gets deceived by his father in-law who swapped Leah for Rachel whom he loved. So Jacob worked for another seven years to get Rachel in addition to Leah despite a conflict over speckled animals. God’s Covenant with Abraham remained through Jacob’s sons who are the twelve tribes of Israel. The story of Jacob, whose name means to deceive or cheat; deceived his father, and later deceived by his sons that his son Joseph sold to Ishmaelites, died. The sibling rivalry caused brothers to hate Joseph for his dreams. Joseph survived to save his family during famine and years later moved to Canaan land promised to Abraham plus other territories. God is aware of the deceiver’s ploy to deceive the deceived that is why God forgives because they know not what they were doing. Jesus prayed on Cross of Calvary for all mankind to be forgiven from all sins. Thank God for Jesus and His Grace and Mercy. 

4 TYPES OF FRIENDS IN LIFE

15412728607271293330498.jpgAdd value to your life by including good friends to increase and multiply your love to build you up for support and to encourage you in life. Be there for each other in good and challenging times and avoid fake friends who pretend to love you but killing you at the same time as enemies who divide your life. Swap bad influence friends to change your life by replacing frenemies with good friends who add value to your life. Stick with friends who do help you to mature in a good way. Increase and multiply your life with positive people so your life will thrive and flourish, subtract from your life those who divide your life affecting other areas of your career and business, family or friends. It is important to be aware of the kind of friends you allow into your life. Take initiative to know if person is truly what they say or portray themselves to be. Check their motives or know whatever the reason is why they befriend you so do not judging a book by its cover. As soon as you begin to do analysis and reflect on actions, words or behaviours, over time you will discover whatever reasons why you are chosen to be around. This will help you know those really befriending for your best interest at heart or those using you in disguise because you will not tolerate them in your life when you really know them well. Those who add to your life often do not want to openly brag or get credit for adding value to your life so at times are anonymous. Others you know add to your life but do not like to come out boldly to receive praise. They add to your life, bless you, want only the best for your life, are there for you in time of need without asking them for help. This type of friends are rare, few and far in between and loyal for life. You feel good around them and trust them with your life because they are codependable and reliable. Even before you ask about the next thing they already figured it out so come to you to surprise you. They take the time to actively listen, observe and do the best they can without drawing attention to themselves. We all know a few people who consistently behind the scenes are the hidden driving force but never stand out in the crowd. Some are so discreet people are shocked as they find out their benefactors. Some are not necessarily rich or wealthy but love and do good with a compassionate heart to help people. It is in their nature to give, give, even the last shirt on their back to help other people. Nobody forces them to help others but feel joy of fulfillment when they help. People discover some actually spent their entire life as unsung heroes adding value to so many people. It is not done for adulation but genuine caring heart considering people they interact with throughout in life. Often families are surprised when a group of friends or beneficiaries turn up for “this is your life” celebration event occasion commemorating them. Then people see or discover the saint they are all along but humbly never let show throughout knowing them. Pin imageA friend can multiply your life or other areas of your life. In Ecclesiastes 11: 2 give a portion to seven, or even to eight, for you know not when disaster happen on earth. Bible in Acts 20:35 says people in all things work hard to help the weak remember Lord Jesus, said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ Giving includes: kindness, smiles, support, call, check on others eat meal together. What you do to others is done to Jesus so take note and be merciful in Jesus Name. In Acts 17:11 Jews more noble than those in Thessalonica received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so true. Studying help understand God’s words better because God is in HIS Word HE puts above HIMSELF. Isaiah 40:8 says the grass withers, flowers fade but the Word of our God stands forever so live by the word of God. Psalm 119:11 says store God’s word in your heart not sin against God. Be a friend who adds value to other’s lives to build up. As you come in contact with others feel good positive vibe reaching out through connecting with you. Things you struggle with to do to improve for years will turn around suddenly for good by entering your life. Such people carry the favour of God so sent to be Divine helpers. People say if you want to go very fast in life go alone but if you want to go very far you need people. There is only so much to achieve alone by yourself through your limited efforts. Good network friends enhance your life bringing established structures to multiply your life but not take it over to annihilate you. You do not have to be reinventing the wheel for others spent years perfecting what you are doing. It is their experience and maturity after a few errors they know what works best to save time, money, resources wasted in the process. The concept that if you do it all exclusively by yourself then you are patent owner really not true. There is a whole team of people behind scenes helping but as the boss you take credit and some do not acknowledge all those who helped them along the way. Fear of being seen as not doing it drives people conceal their helpers who work hard to make it happen. Bless multipliers and reward them because without an input you will not be where you are by your own efforts alone. 15412860692961293330498.jpgOther types of friends subtracts from your life so toxic since you knew or met them you regret allowing them in your life. All things fall apart around them but they do not take any responsibility for affecting your life in any way. In fact blames everyone else so never expects to help as it is beneath their status. So think too highly of themselves, demand to be always the centre of attention and first served, eat the last morsel of food available. They may not bring shopping in or contribute to chore but think life is only all about them. So have high flaky ego that crumbles in the least moments expected, emotionally drain the people but ungrateful to those helping them. It is the love of God that sustains people to have compassion to help them. So don’t appreciate sacrifices or the compromise people make to accommodate to help them. No matter all the resources put to together to good uses on their behalf to help, they subtract emotionally to take the upper hand by controlling spirits to dominate others. No matter how long you know them seem to be permanently complaining about others letting them down. They seem to take comfort in misery rather than want peace of mind solution due to negative attention given them. Negative attention is better than no attention and so deliberately look for need to cause a moment to drain others to feel better. They derive happiness in pain caused by them to subtract joy of others to cause stress so people around them feel a high-strung energy, on edge, tiptoeing on egg shells. First of all pray to God to touch the heart of those that think it’s by subtracting others from the lives of others they can sneak into your life. They do not value those around as a blessing but see them as a threat due to petty jealousy and lack of confidence in God and in themselves. Churches deals various characters categorised by Seven Churches in Revelations. A Church is a bit like a hospital where various people turn up with ailments. It is not a perfect place so be aware people are seeking a relief to help them cope with life. This means members support new people who are not familiar with the Bible or what God expects from them. Like the new-born baby must be nurtured and fed the word of God to grow spiritually. Pin imageActs 20:29 warns the Church after Jesus’ departure to heaven, fierce wolves will not spare flock. So Bible warns brothers and sisters to watch out for those who cause divisions in Church. Jesus’ warns us because satan’s divisive spirit makes people angry as their tool to manipulate others perpetually angry at themselves and the world. One look or a word sets them off explosively, triggered by even innocent comment, suggestion question of normal daily interactions between all people as their fellow human beings. So those watching, see them destroy lives despite great potential to accomplish good things in life. If only they can calm down enough to listen and take it all in. They never have “any time” so making excuses yet you never know exactly the time of day or night used for. They have grand visions and dreams to achieve if only they get the right friends, experts, funds, projects and right location. When challenged become offended and quote psychological terminologies memorised to project their divisive personality onto others. They never do anything wrong or make mistakes yet their track record shows trampling on others and wrecked lives left behind to pick up the pieces as the move to fertile grounds to repeat the egotistical disaster again. They are like a runaway train nobody can stop until a damage is done. They have a gift of the garb, charming, convincing it’s almost impossible to convince victims despite evidence of their damage. It starts with a few people they dismiss not mentally sound to further years of carnage due to their charismatic personality. The more divisions they cause destroying lives it’s the more they are celebrated having a hold over their friends. Despite glaring facts provided people turn on innocent victims to attack them as perpetrators to promote the cause of divisive people. The truth is no human being can handle or tackle a divisive person because their nature comes from satan their master using them. Only Almighty God can deal with them so no use trying to logically reason or talk to them. Those who dare confront them labeled enemies used by them for their dirty works punished. It’s a situation with divisive person of their way or no way though gullible, naive or inexperienced. Impulsive or compulsive abuse position of authority of trust their friends put in them and loyalty. Life is only about them though just one among billions of people on earth. Do not think anybody knows anything think so smart but incompetent. Insist on controlling of all things they do not know, understand but bully people into submission. Those not agreeing to their whims or caprices threatened with complacency and their non – compliance and nonconformity is excuse to ostracize, blacklist, blackmail them. The force in divisive character is satan so God can control their heart. Its growth like wildfire but ceases because in living history tyrants do not last long so their kingdoms fall. The everlasting Kingdom of God Stands Forever so be delivered and saved in Jesus Name.15413178444481293330498.jpg

A POSTPARTUM PSYCHOSIS

Singer Adele and Laura DockrillAdele spotted her friend’s postpartum psychosis illness after the birth of her Godson. Postpartum is also a postnatal depression changing the behaviour of the mother after birth so needs help and support of friends and family to recover. This is a serious illness and mothers struggle to look after the baby and themselves. Adele’s best friend says the singer was the first one to spot her postpartum psychosis. Laura Dockrill gave birth to a baby boy, Adele’s Godson in February this year. Recognised it in me, while on the phone FaceTiming her and she was the first one to detect what she had, Laura told Radio 1 Newsbeat. This serious mental illness affects one in one thousand mums and can lead to hallucinations after giving birth. Laura said: “The last six months can only be described as hell, it was the worst time of my life.” She says her symptoms were “insomnia, delusions, suspiciousness and paranoia” and written a blog post to share her experiences with mums who going through same thing. Adele shared Laura’s story, describedas “intimate and heartbreaking.” The singer says she and Laura friends since they were teenagers and her song My Same, from the album 19, is about her. Laura is a poet, author, illustrator and short story writer, and she went to the same school as Adele – the Brit School of Performing Arts in Croydon. In a blog post she talks about a “horrific” labour her doctor believes might have triggered the illness. After coming home with son, Laura describes feeling like “pushed out my personality as well as a baby.”Laura DockrillLaura and Adele are friends since they were teenagers. She says had suicidal thoughts. “I was begging my sister to let me go, I was begging my mum to let me go. “I have never had those thoughts before in my life and no history of mental illness, this completely took me by surprise and threw me against the rocks.” Laura says her skin went pale, she couldn’t eat or drink and she started getting severe anxiety attacks. As things got worse, Laura needed her partner Hugo to send her photos of herself with friends and family to remind her who she was. “Though postnatal depression and psychosis are treatable, even when my doctor said I would 100% recover I remember thinking, ‘Maybe others do but not me, this is me forever.”A mother holds a baby's handSymptoms of postpartum psychosis also includes delusions and hallucinations so Laura was hospitalised and spent two weeks away from her son. She describes herself as recovering more and more each day and is “happy, confident and strong” after getting support from family and a psychiatrist, as well as using medication. But she also says talking about her psychosis has been a “huge” part of her recovery. “I was constantly searching for any stories that offered me hope or salvation in this dark and testing time so that’s why I’ve shared this,” she says. Vivien Waterfield from the charity Home Start praised Laura for speaking up.“It’s very difficult for mums to talk about their difficulties they’re having,” she said. “Anyone in the public eye brave enough to talk about this publicly helps the mums to realise they are not alone.” A few years back, Kathryn Grant’s postpartum psychosis was an inspiration for an EastEnders storyline so Lacey Turner’s character Stacey had condition. She told Newsbeat that she had a horrendous birth and ended up not sleeping for ten nights.James And Kathryn togetherKathryn gave birth to James five years ago. “I knew I needed to go to the A&E because I had a feeling something was about to go terribly wrong. “By the time James was taken from me and cared for by the staff there, I descended into full blown psychosis.” Kathryn says during her psychotic episode she was seeing things that weren’t there and believing things that weren’t true. “I believed was being tortured and punished because I caused an apocalypse and killed most people in the world and the remaining survivors were torturing and trying to cremate me alive,” she said. “The reality was I was in an ambulance being taken from psychiatric hospital to a regular hospital to be treated for sepsis. To get help and support with postpartum psychosis, take a look at the NHS page on the condition.

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  • 14 August 2018

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