GUILTFREE WAYS TO SAY NO

Saying No for the Sake of Your Wallet

Request: A friend in need asks for loan.
What you should say: “I wish I can but as a rule, I don’t lend money to friends.”
Why it works: So its clear you did not single out this person as untrustworthy.

You shouldn’t feel guilty: Lending any amount of money can cause problems, says the communications trainer Don Gabor. It changes nature of relationship if the person doesn’t pay you back.”
Avoid the situation in the future: Never lend money to friends, you won’t get reputation as a Mobile Bank ATM. 9f8eab4c34bbdd4065c5809378443d16

Request: A coworker wants you to chip in $25 for gift for colleague you would not recognize at the watercooler.

You should say: “Oh, I’ve never really had a conversation with Ian. I think I’ll wish him a happy birthday in person.”
Why it works: Chances are, the person taking donations has no idea how close you are (or are not) with the intended recipient. By clarifying nature of your relationship emphasises intention to get to know the person better. So you come across as thoughtful rather than cheap.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: A gift is not a gift if an obligation, says etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh.
Avoid the situation in the future: If workplace gift giving is getting out of hand, take the lead in restoring sanity by circulating a card before someone can break out the gift-donation plate. Make sure others know you don’t expect anything on your birthday.How-to-say-no-to-your-boss-politelyRequest: Your third cousin asks to bring her boyfriend-of-the-month to your $150-a-plate wedding reception.

What you should say: “We’ve already had to make so many tough decisions to get the guest list down to size. We really can’t squeeze in/afford another guest. But I would love to have you two over for drinks sometime so I can meet him.”
Why it works: If you illuminate some of behind-the-scenes planning, cousin may get clue of inappropriateness of request.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: It’s your party and your pocketbook, says author Patti Breitman.
Avoid the situation in the future: Make calls before you put together the guest list to see the new additions you should consider as you plan.sayno

Saying No for the Sake of Your Time

Request: You are offered a promotion that you don’t want. Though it means more money, it demands more hours or more of what boss calls responsibility and you call tedium.
What you should say: “I’m flattered that you want me, but for personal reasons I’m not in a situation where I can take this on. Perhaps in a year from now things will be different. Can we talk again if my circumstances change?”
Why it works: If in enviable dilemma boss will understand you have personal priorities that take precedence.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: By saying no to more time at the office, you’re saying yes to other things you cherish, long walks alone at sunset or evening time with your children.
Avoid the situation in the future: “If a position opens up at your workplace, you could let it be known that you are not in the running,” Breitman suggests. Being forthright saves your manager the trouble of pursuing a candidate who isn’t interested.maxresdefault (4)

Request: You are asked to coordinate bake sale again at your child’s school.
What you should say: “I know I am going to disappoint you, but I’ve decided not to volunteer this year, because I will feel stressed. Is there any way to get some of the other parents to step up?”
Why it works: People feel manipulated into doing something like The ice cream social won’t happen without your help! If address the problematic pattern of one person’s doing all the work, you sidestep manipulation. If you say no, it force others never get asked to say yes.
You shouldn’t feel guilty: “You’ve done your fair share, and now others can do this job,” says Robinson.
Avoid the situation in the future: Encourage school leaders to present the problem to all parents,” says Robinson. “If people know an important program may fail, usually remedy situation.maxresdefault (3)Request: If invited to distant relative’s annual Lobster Lua, 14th year in row.

You should say: “I’ve really had fun in the past, but I can’t make it this year. That week is already packed for me.”
Why it works: “You’ve explained it in a way that doesn’t sound like a personal rejection,” says Robinson. “And you’ve asked for understanding, based on your need to take stress out of your schedule. Everyone can identify with that.”
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: You have only so much free time―and so much tolerance for flying lobster goo. “Don’t R.S.V.P. yes, then back out at the last minute or, worse, not show up at all,” say Izzo and Marsh. “That is the least decorous way of handling invite.”
Avoid the situation in the future: In a note, thank the relative for thinking of you and explain that because you tend to be busy at this time of year, he should feel free to take you off his invite list.maxresdefault (2)

Request: Boss asks you to supervise this season’s intern last seen with feet up on a desk, iPod on, Gameboy in hand.
What you should say: “Wow, that’s an interesting project. I’m really busy with the ABC assignment right now, so let me know if you want me to re-prioritize.”
Why it works: “Asking boss to prioritize tasks for you means so do not have to actually say “no,” Breitman says. If told to just squeeze the new task in, then do it. But keep a list of all the extra work you’ve done for your next review.
You shouldn’t feel guilty: You really do have enough work to do as it is.
Avoid the situation in the future: If extra tasks keep getting dumped on your desk, ask your boss for a meeting. Explain that the added assignments are making it hard to do your primary job properly. Ask if she wants to review your job description and renegotiate your salary while she’s at it.  AAEAAQAAAAAAAANxAAAAJDczZjg2NDEyLTE1Y2QtNDllNi1hNjIwLWY2MzgyYzc0YTA2Mg

Say No for the Sake of Your Sanity

Request: A friend asks to borrow car because own in shop to repair dent got while driving, talking on phone, and unwrapping juice-box straw.
What you should say: “I do not lend anything worth more than $1,000.” Try to avoid “I don’t have insurance for a non-family member, insurance policies cover the car, not specific drivers. If friend got into accident, it could make your premium go up. If you have time, offer her a ride instead.
Why it works: “Avoid blame on you,” explains author Patti Breitman. “Don’t indicate you don’t trust the friend.”
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: “Your car is probably the first or second most valuable thing you own,” says Breitman. “You’re protecting a big financial asset.” Plus, if friend gets accident relationship might be totalled, too.
Avoid the situation in the future: Let your friends know that while you’re typically a generous lender (“Of course you can borrow my snorkeling gear!”), your car is off-limits. Say-NO-pic

Request: A guest offers to bring seven-layer dip to party. But doesn’t really go with Greek theme you planned.
What you should say: “What a kind offer thank you. I have already planned the menu, but do you have any dietary restrictions I should know about? Be nice and ask to bringing something, like bottle of wine or a loaf of bread.
Why it works: Acknowledging the offer of generosity let person know did all they could. If the person has dietary restrictions so cooking difficult for you, relent and let bring a dish to eat.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: Person offered to be courteous. Saying no, you gives license to relax, enjoy hospitality.
Avoid the situation in the future: When you invite people, ask if there is anything they don’t eat, because you want to make sure your menu works for everyone. Emphasize the word menu, so people know that you have a plan or a theme for the meal (and so they won’t try to upset it).thumbs-down

Request: Future sister-in-law wants to throw baby shower you don’t want fuss.
What you should say: “I really don’t want a party, but thank you so much for offering. Why don’t we splurge on visit to a day spa instead?”
Why it works: “Not everyone likes a party in honour or wants to be center of attention with a paper plate of bows on her head,” says etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh. Unless she has her own agenda, she should understand.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: “If you decline, you are taking away pleasure from the people who care about you, but it is occasion to shout about or be quiet about,” say Izzo and Marsh.
Avoid the situation in the future: Announce what you would prefer to do instead of a shower before anyone offers to throw one.

 

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SPARE THE ROD SPOIL CHILD

Smacking (actors)Smacking ban goes to public consultation. Plans to outlaw beating, slapping, kicking, smacking, spanking, whipping children in Wales are going out to a three-month consultation. The ministers said removing the defence of reasonable punishment would make it clear smacking is no longer acceptable. Charities including the NSPCC said this would bring Wales in line with dozens of other countries. But campaigners against the law fear it could criminalise ordinary parents. Minister for Children and Social Care, Huw Irranca-Davies, said: “As a parent of three boys myself, I know being a parent can sometimes be a challenging experience. “Our knowledge of what children need to grow and thrive has developed considerably over the last 20 years. We now know that physical punishment can have negative long-term impacts on a child’s life chances and we also know it is an ineffective punishment.”

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Discipline is meted out by using alternative methods like, “grounding” punishment which means the child stays at home so cannot meet up with friends to go to cinema, party, or sleep over. The child’s privileges like toys, games, computers, phones taken away or asked to stay alone isolated in their bedroom. Others sit in a corner alone for 5 minute to 15 minutes within sight of the adult to stay there based on their age  This helps calm a child down and diffuses tension but the child enjoys TV in bedroom or favourite toys, phone, computer, are taken away for a few days or months depending on what the child did. This happens often so some parents feel it is better than physically hitting them with a stick. Some do not have toys or own bedroom so parents find other ways like asking them to do chores they do not like to do to teach them a lesson. In other extreme cases the child may pay for items deliberately damaged in anger with pocket-money or mow the garden and lawn.

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Scotland became the first part of the UK to confirm plans to outlaw smacking children last year. Now ministers in Wales want parents to choose “positive and more effective methods.”Some people think carrots and sticks are choices that makes a difference depending on preference. The “rule of the thumb laws” made by Parliament allowed husband’s to beat their wives with a stick the size of their thumb. God help the woman whose husband has the biggest thumb, you will not want to rub the wrong way. The proposed law would not involve creating a new offence but would instead remove the defence to the existing offences of assault and battery. So, any adult looking after a child would no longer be able to use physical or corporal punishment against them. Physical punishment has already been outlawed in schools and childcare facilities but Mr Irranca-Davies said it was time “to ensure it is no longer acceptable anywhere.”

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The Welsh Government is now allowed to legislate in areas of parental discipline, under the new Wales Act. The consultation runs until 2 April. The Bible says correct the child in love and not in anger because God Corrects those HE LOVES. So explain to the child you are not in a bad mood or hate them. Discipline must be done in context and effective against their behaviour. Mixed messages from parents does not clearly teach them why it is wrong to do something being punished and educate them on the effects of their action on their reputation, others and their peers and society in general. Safely nip the bad behaviour in the bud before it grows out of hand and becomes toxic and destructive. A lot of adults missed out on proper discipline as God said train the child so when they grow they will not depart from it. Children need to understand that discipline corrects and challenges bad behaviour so is not a negative cruel wicked vitriol. God tell parents in Bible not to provoke their children to anger so are to raise children to have consideration for others.семейное-отношение-14317792

A recent TV documentary experimented the carrot and stick approach to see which was more effective. One group was harsh, relentless, no fun, almost military training style of elite soldiers. The other group observed a laissez faire approach, liberal, praising them, mingling appropriately. Both groups performed almost the same without any extra head start or advantage over the other. In extreme cases where a child’s life or others are at risk, a meaningful discipline method is age appropriate and does not ‘hurt’ physically or kill them as happens sometimes. The stress and despair of the parents must never be put upon or projected on to the children. Parents with any psychological problems must seek therapy and not vent their anger on the children by harsh punishment in anger. In extreme cases children’s hands are cut off as punishment for working too slowly or taking and eating food without first asking permission. Sometimes the health of children must be taken into account for suitable punishment. To stop lawlessness, recklessness of society children need discipline important for their future self-discipline to live peacefully with others in community. 1.1994526-1

In Ghana the High Court ruled against smacking so children write apology letters. The Ho Polytechnic Basic School has instituted the writing of apology letters to replace corporal punishment in the school. Pupils now write apology letters, after a written report on the misdemeanor. So what does it mean to “spare the rod and spoil the child? This phrase “spare the rod and spoil the child means modern-day methods imply that if parents refuse to discipline unruly child the child will grow accustomed too set in ways too late to their change bad behaviour. Proverbs 13:24 says whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who corrects them loves them. This is not a licence for aggression and abuse of children for the slightest reason. Children lack FRONTAL CORTEX so do not fully understand life. So take time to make simple easy to understand visual images with rules to REMIND children. This can prevent forgetting rules and children will comply if the know the reasons why they are disciplined. Patents must set good examples to children.

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Afterwards, explain again why disciplined, ask for apology from the child, hug and tell child you love them as is done in the UK.  Children mimic and copy adults so some behaviours reflect on the environment and the actions of the adults who need to set better examples and not pick on children mirroring their behaviour. Parent child bonding must not be destroyed by aggressive discipline or lack of discipline. The Bible says those who love their children care enough to discipline them. Whoever spares the rod hates child, but loves child if diligent to discipline child. A lot of brat, rude, bad behaviour can be traced to children left to own devices who grow up as Dennis the menace to society and untouchable majesty the child doted on by parents who think their beloved children do no wrong. This sensitive matter means each side is equally passionate about their approach. The danger is social workers called because of discipline the law ‘criminalise’ parents for training children for their own good. Yet some grow up and freely hit by batons for undealt with childhood issues. Caring-Adult_woman-high-five-boy_web Bible says the if a child listens and is disciplined that child lives long and it is well with that child. So discipline is not to inflict punishment for cruelty but to train a child into an upstanding valuable member of society. The purpose of discipline is to teach a child to understand the human rules and laws of society to fit in as an adult. Therefore unbred child will find the world harder than the child carefully trained from home to be self- aware and have self discipline and self respect. The world is full of untrained adults who act like children and have to nannied and apprenticed when they should be leaders helping other. The chaos in society and communities is because some have festered unruly children never disciplined because of saying ” it hurts the parent too much to inflict pain” on a child. A trust worthy child is trained to fear God and respect fellow human beings and follow the golden rule. Vilifying parents for any form of discipline sends the wrong message to children who will grow up to make similar decisions in future.

THE GET RICH QUICK SCHEMES

A record £1.1bn in overpaid benefits was recovered from fraudsters last year

People lose millions in online ‘get rich quick’ schemes according to an article in the news once again on binary options trading. In Israel and Canada, binary options trading is illegal as Adele Robinson, the News Correspondent stated in the news. An online investment scam targeting people through social media has seen the amount of money lost by victims in the UK rise by 400,000% in six years. Figures from Action Fraud show the amount lost to “binary options” trading increased from £6,200 in 2012, to £27m in 2017 alone, with the total currently standing at £61m. Binary option or fixed odds betting are being used by fraudsters as part of a multi-billion pound industry which is believed to be co-ordinated by overseas criminals. A binary option is where you can gamble on an outcome, usually something to go up or down, with the pay-off being a fixed amount or nothing at all. One example would be to bet on whether the value of gold will be above or below a certain price and investors believe they can gain high returns on little amounts. Consumer group Which? has described binary options scam as “Britain’s biggest investment con” with illegitimate companies targeting victims through pop up adverts online and cold-calling.Frank Thornburrow believes he was conned

Frank Thornburrow was targeted through social media and believes he was conned. As an investment idea it first appeared ten years ago but the industry has grown exponentially in recent years. Detective Sergeant Alex Eristavi from the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau, run by the City of London police, says people are being defrauded on a daily basis. “There is no typical victim,” he told Sky News, “they are just ordinary folk like you and me. The youngest one is 19 years old, that we have recorded so far, and the oldest is 93, so it’s a wide spectrum. “It’s fair to say with binary options coming into play the average victim’s age of investment fraud has dropped because previously it was over 60 and now it’s early 50s. “It’s because the younger generation are taking part in this activity, and it could be easily explained as social media is a lot to do with it, the advertisements and the pop ups etc.”The City of London is home to the UK's financial services sectorThe Financial Conduct Authority will begin to regulate binary options trading this year. Binary options trading is currently regulated by the Gambling Commission but from January 2018 the Financial Conduct Authority will take over. In other countries like Israel and Canada, it has been banned completely. Frank Thornburrow from Kent, lost his life savings when he invested in binary options. He has been unable to get any money back and told Sky News that he believes he was conned. He gives one example from an email telling him that to access his money he would have to make 150,000 trades, which was money he simply did not have. “The last couple of years haven’t been easy,” he said. “I lost my daughter couple of years ago when she died of cancer. I retired and I was looking for a way of making money so I tried binary because it looked good. “And basically it was a big con, it didn’t work out and I lost a lot of money. I’ve ended up with a triple bypass, so that’s the impact it’s had on me.” There is also concern that students are falling victims to scam companies after gambling with their maintenance grants to “flip” their money, according to Action Fraud. The advice from police is that “if you don’t know the field, don’t get involved in it” as there are “so many rogue companies out there.” Which? carried out its own investigations into binary options companies and found evidence of “bad practice across the board”, with high pressure sales tactics and “unfair” terms and conditions. Jenni Allen, managing director at Which? Money, said: “We found for instance that people making a deposit had to invest up to forty times that deposit to even access their money again. “I think most worryingly found examples of where actual data being used was rigged by the company so your initial investments would return some form of profit in return but thereafter you would receive loss after loss.”

GOD’S IMAGE IN MANKIND

coloBible in Colossians 3:9-10 says put on new self in the image of God. The image of God is physical features of mankind. Isaiah saw God like a man sitting on the throne in heaven. God also reveals himself physically visibly to people all over the world including the 70 elders of Israel who ate and dined with God and Moses on the mountain. Jesus said, when you see Him you see the Father God in visible form.  Therefore mankind is made in the image of God according to Genesis. This means God is not an invisible blob too large to be contained by the universe as some think. Mankind has both God’s physical features and the God like qualities of God. As a result God’s human shape is replicated in diverse shapes, forms, and sizes not to make clones of any particular kind. God does not favour any variety of humans above another. As far as God is concerned, the standard for being like HIM is to do what Jesus says by drawing close to God. Those who draw near to God, in return God draws near to them and reveals HIMSELF to them more. Like any friendship or any marriage agreement God is in Covenant with mankind so deeply loves people and wants to have personal relationship with each one.world_pulse_2

This implies, God is the Ultimate standard all varieties of people are to look up to no matter where they live, look like, sound like or what they do in life. God wants all mankind to maintain HIS physical image and live according to God’s expectations.  This means each person is to aim to be more like Jesus who came to dwell among mankind to demonstrate the love of God on earth. Therefore rather than focus on turning people into another person each person is focus on looking more like Jesus. Unfortunately, so much time and resources are invested into turning humans into the clones of other human beings. It seems trying to be like a famous ‘idol’ makes some people think they will gain more confidence. Sadly this is never-ending until they stop looking outside themselves they need confidence in God. Some are have a false sense of self-esteem so go to extra lengths by surgery to imitate and mimic Barbie and others they want to look like. This opens doors for others to capitalise on their insecurities and opportunists fuel this insecurities to cause damage to people.22280731_135895917137860_4145777591179018240_n

Many live with irreparable scars as a result of superficial vanity of never-ending search of perfection. So search for mirage of unattainable perfection turning them into more into Frankenstein. As a result air brushed models create false dolled up superficial images imposed on society. Some whites turn themselves into black using chemicals and tablets to look as they want to fit into black community. Young people become susceptible to these false images and peer pressure creates unhealthy eating patterns to maintain false self-identity. Kim Kardashian recently took off the make up and posted her natural self-image. Her followers complained until she reposted the image they prefer of her. Another famous supermodel Cindy Crawford was told she looked so glamorous and really good on a recent cover of a magazine she replied, “she wished she looked so in real life. Many famous people are airbrushed and wear size zero because the industry prefers a certain image only. This has spilled over into work where people employed based on their looks, shapes and sizes. This unhealthy practice is now even now forced on children wanting to dress like their idols and bullying those who prefer to remain in their image.1bd58822a39ca112a1bd634289f33330--black-women-beauty-black-women-art

The Bible says, do not lie to one another, seeing you have put off the old self with its practices and put on the new self renewed in knowledge after image of the Creator. It is unGodly to force people to conform to the image of others deemed superior to damage their skin with carcinogenic chemicals used to bleach the skin. Others are banned from keeping natural look seen as unfit due to the highlighted phenomenon of colourism. Others deliberately choose white babies in vitro conception although both People catfish the image of others pretending to be somebody else they are not due to insecurity to be revealed. There is ” white” person on earth because everyone has shades of melanin from albinism to black. So those misled by adverts,   like cargo cult of skin color abandon their natural look to imitate preferred image seen as more beautiful. The natural look movement is fighting back by encouraging people to celebrate God’s image in them. This global trend promotes an acceptance of self-image and appreciation of natural beauty. This helps to overcome propaganda that started during slavery and colonialism banning people from wearing the cultural costumes, wearing natural hair styles, speaking mother tongues and eating organic healthy native foods.

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It is important to understand the pressures put on people to promote the cosmetic industry to the detriment of health. Many developed incurable skin conditions by bleaching their skins, pumping industrial chemicals into their body to alter their body shapes and tanning under radiation or Sun rays to look darker. It is an irony the whites are doing liposuction to bulk up certain body parts while the blacks are whitening their skin to turn look lighter. These extremes cost money and time that could have been used wisely. God could have easily created clones on earth to look exclusively like one particular shape, colour, size or sound. Yet God chose to create diversity and variety of HIMSELF to manifest HIS GLORY and wonders through HIS creation. It is complete ignorance to look at another person resentfully to condemn them as inferior based on colourism and false preferences. Celebrate and love you image in God. You did not purchase your original image, colour, shape or size or who are yourself from a supermarket. It is God’s decision to create perfect just as you are in HIS IMAGE. Have confidence in God’s image of you and believe you are equally as beautiful as what you see in others. It is an insult to God to project insecurities and racism on others created by God through no fault of their own as God naturally made them.

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS THANKS

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With Compliments of Christmas Season, May I take this opportunity on behalf of my family and myself to wish you and your family, Merry Christmas and Happy Prosperous New Year. May your Christmas be filled with joy, love, peace and precious special memories. And as the New Year unfolds, may it bring you everything you ever hope for and God’s Blessings everyday in Jesus Name.

God bless you always,

With Love From God’sHotSpot

A FAMILY FEELS NO PAIN?

Letizia MarsiliA family does not feel pain according to the story recently reported in the news. Letizia Marsili and five other members rarely feel pain  Letizia Marsili, 52, first realised she was different when she was very young. She has high threshold for pain meaning she did not feel burns or notice broken bones. Five other family members are also affected by condition which means they are insensitive to pain. Letizia told the BBC: “From day to day we live a very normal life, perhaps better than the rest of the population, because we very rarely get unwell and we hardly feel any pain. “However, in truth we do feel pain perception of pain, but this only lasts for a few seconds.” Scientists believe the condition could be down to some nerves not reacting properly. Researchers who studied the family hope their discovery of a gene mutation in family members could help chronic-pain sufferers in future. “We have opened up a whole new route to drug discovery for pain relief,” said Prof Anna Maria Aloisi from the University of Siena in Italy.

How is family affected?

Letizia’s mother, two sons, sister and niece all show signs of being affected by syndrome that is named after the family Marsili pain syndrome. She said pain was an important alarm signal because they feel it fleetingly, the family often have fractures go undetected and this leads to inflammation in their bones. They also experience burns and other injuries without knowing. Letizia said her 24-year-old son Ludovico, who plays football, has encountered problems. “He rarely stays on the ground, even when he is knocked down. However, he has fragility at the ankles and he suffers distortions, which are micro fractures. “In fact, recently X-rays have shown that he has lots of micro fractures in both ankles.” She said her younger son Bernardo, 21, had a calcification of the elbow without realising he had broken it after falling off his bike. He continued cycling another nine miles. Fractures, broken bones and burns are often not noticed and don’t heal properly.Fractures are often missed because the family doesn't feel the pain

Letizia says when she fractured right shoulder skiing she continued to ski all afternoon, only going to the hospital the next morning because her fingers were tingling. So same thing happened when she broke a bone in her elbow playing tennis. “Because of a lack of pain, it got so stressed that it ended up breaking,” she says. But the worst thing, she says, was problems in her mouth because of a tooth implant went wrong. Letizia’s mother, Maria Domenica, 78, has had a number of fractures which have never healed properly and have hardened naturally. She suffers burns because she doesn’t feel any pain. Her sister Maria Elena often damages the top of her mouth because she burns herself with hot drinks, and her daughter Virginia once left her hand in ice for about 20 minutes without feeling pain. Despite all this, Letizia says she has never seen  condition “as a negative for our lives.”

Do they feel little pain?

Lead study author Dr James Cox, from University College London said Marsili family members had all their nerves present, but “they’re just not working how they should be.” He said: “We’re working to gain a better understanding of exactly why they don’t feel much pain, to see if could help us find new pain relief treatments.” The research team, whose findings are published in the journal Brain, worked with family to find out nature of their phenotype the observable characteristics caused by their genetics. The Marsili syndrome, named after them, means the affected individuals are less than normally sensitive (or hyposensitive) to extreme heat, capsaicin in chilli peppers, have experienced pain-free bone fractures.

Scientists discover genes

The researchers mapped out protein-coding genes in each family member’s genome and found a mutation in the ZFHX2 gene. They then conducted two studies in mice which had been bred without this gene and found their pain thresholds had been altered. When they bred a new line of mice with relevant mutation they found they were notably insensitive to high temperatures. Prof Aloisi said: “With more research to understand exactly how the mutation impacts pain sensitivity, and to see what other genes might be involved, we could identify novel targets for drug development.” The family is believed to be the one in the world to be affected by this faulty gene.

Additional reporting by Mauro Galluzzo

REAL FRIENDS&FOLLOWERS

5-billion-youtube-viewstop-10-most-followed-instagram-users-as-of-2015-july-11-638unnamedyoutube-business-account-statsslide_25C4A2PlIUoAAu6MeIMG_20171211_104559b326a751df25caea8bbf8f381c60a199--real-friends-friends-showVirtual reality lifestyle seekers have so many millions of online friends on their Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, You Tube making them famous and popular. This although good is said to be unrealistic as demands of true friendship requires quality time spent getting to know each other better. Having support of friends online is inspiring, encouraging and can be helpful to isolated people. Professor of a university of psychology and social well-being however says having real life connection with 4 trustworthy friends and reliable people in your lives makes huge difference. Billions bring comfort to people especially in time of need yet as darkest times pass so ‘friends’ move on to their reality and the challenges of their daily lives. The anger, pain, guilt, loss, sorrow, practical grief part of the journey of healing recovery is personal no matter how popular or famous. The private times to deal with life are valid as public life. Having a group of reliable friends listening, supporting necessary in times of suffering. Yet the private processing of vulnerable moments is a serious time of deep reflection alone if even in a crowd among people. As other things are done personally like eating, drinking, bathing, walking, driving or running, unless an infant or incapable, real life experience actions you must do so understand fulfilment, contentment inner joy, strength, personal endurance are resilient qualities. This is a spiritual instruction highly didactic, helpful for personal, business group interactions:

1. *Noah* built the *ark* by faith but, he used measurements. There is a place for rational thinking in walk of faith. Not all decisions should be made with blind hope! God is the Source of direction and instructions to mankind to have good success and be saved.

2. *Sarah’s pregnancy* was a miracle, but it took nine months like any other. God’s plans does not negate importance of process. Sometime you need to wait for things to work it out normally.

3. The *stone* that killed *Goliath* was anointed, but *David’s skill* was also involved. Developing skills does not just mean God anointed, if you play a piano, play it to the fullest. Don’t take people through the agony of listening to mere cacophony in the name of “singing to hear the sound of your voice.” Skills are important but nothing rude with saying “you can’t sing, find something to do in the Glory of God.”

4. *Esther* received favour to become *queen* but she bathed and prepared her appearance. Preparation is key to become fit for occasion. Get knowledge, go to school. Stop blaming auto-correct, check spelling on social media. Rely less on technology. The ease with which we can obtain information today makes our lives much more convenient, but it can also make us stupider. The neural pathways involved in reading maps, for example, are probably much weaker in Millennials’ brains than in the brains of their parents. Millennials rely heavily on GPS navigation to help them find their way, while older generations had to get out an atlas if they got lost. If they can’t remember what a word means, many people quickly Google it than sit down and focus on trying to remember. Instead of strengthening their ability to recall information, obtain information with no thought. Rely on the phone less and your brain more. Prepare, because expect nothing but the best in life!

5. The *promised land* was full of milk and honey, but they also had to plow, feed cattle, and take care of sheep. Miracles are communication tools that God uses to instill trust, faith and the knowledge of his nature. You need to work, don’t expect miracles in a specific area of life all time. No one pays rent for a full year with miracle money. Though we need it, we want it, but God wants permanent regular supply. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.

6. *God* is the one who *created human capacity* to memorize things, yet told many prophets to write their message. Spirituality does not mean we should not use tools to package the message.

7. *Ruth* received favour of God to marry *Boaz*but the coaching of Naomi was necessary. Human coaching is necessary, you need to submit and learn from someone to spare you from silly unnecessary mistakes in life.

8. *Moses* heard directly from God, but he was wearing himself out with work, it was the wisdom of his father in law saved him from dying premature death with exhaustion. It is wisdom to put on seat belt, brush, teeth adhere to medical advise. Being spiritual does not mean asking angels to cook food for you so some things in life God or friends will not do for you.

9. *Namaan* was a mighty soldier and a friend of Kings but acted on instructions influenced by Jewish maiden. Important people are influenced by “insignificant” people. The key thing is proximity that generates influence to save your life.

Mishandling natural world can cause hinderance to progress, a total neglect of the spiritual world definitely causes total failure in all areas of life.

*Balance is the key.*

“Hear, O Israel:  The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments given you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. “Talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up says Deuteronomy 6:4–7 in the Bible. Remember God in your youth, in your old age with your family. “As for me and my household we will serve the LORD God Yahweh says Joshua 24:15.