MODERN CHILDCARE NEEDS

Andy Shelley and babyAndy Shelley says his time on parental leave was “eye-opening.” Following the release of a poll which suggested 27% of mothers did not enjoy their maternity leave as much as they thought they would, parents have been sharing their experience of parental leave – both good and bad. Some people got in touch after following BBC Radio 5 Live presenter Emma Barnett’s open and honest account of her time away from work looking after her baby son, a time which she described as being “bloody hard and at times, lonely.” So what’s it like to be the one who stays at home and looks after the baby? Three parents share their very different experiences. The good, the bad and unexpected child care needs. ‘I thought my partner was just off work.’ Andy Shelley’s girlfriend gave birth to their daughter in March and the couple decided to take shared parental leavePrior to making choice, Andy’s partner had been looking after their daughter while he worked 12-hour days. “It was difficult because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough,” he says. Thirty-year-old Andy took over full-time care for two months in July, but admits he was not aware just how much work was involved in staying home and looking after his daughter. “Initially I thought parental leave would be a nice break from work but it wasn’t easy. “Some days she would be upset and I just didn’t know what to do. Your entire day revolves around feeds. It becomes a full-time job in itself. “I would be happy when my partner came home from work as it meant I could have a break.” The Stoke-On-Trent resident says his experience of parental leave was important as he realised how much his girlfriend had been doing when he thought she was “just off work.” “It made me appreciate everything she had done and ultimately cemented my relationship with my daughter. “It’s a shame more fathers don’t take parental leave as it really opens your eyes and you realise what your partner deals with.”‘I made sure I kept busy’Sandrine Charpentier and her two daughtersSandrine Charpentier said “clear vision” for her maternity leave and made sure its “wonderful experience.” Sandrine Charpentier, from Hayes in Kent, says her maternity leave with both of her daughters, now aged six and nine, was a “really positive experience.” Despite not knowing many people where she lived, Sandrine made sure she wasn’t isolated by booking a different activity every day. “We would do baby swimming, yoga, singing and play groups. It motivated me to get dressed and get out of the house. “The whole time I was really tired but I thought that was just part of the job. “It was great to meet people, be social and talk about our experiences. I was really happy during that time and it was great for my daughters.” As much as she enjoyed her maternity leave, the mum-of-two admits it was nice to return to work. “Being at work was like a holiday because I was free to do what I wanted. I didn’t have somebody glued to me all the time. “It was good to do something different, to meet people and not talk about nappies and babies all the time.” ‘It’s difficult to be accepted as a stay-at-home dad’Child playingPeople were shocked when Craig Smith said he was going to be a stay-at-home father Craig Smith, 42 in Staffordshire became stay-at-home dad to daughter, Matilda, in January when she was eight months old. His wife has a high-level job so they decided that it would be best for him to give up work and focus on their daughter’s early years. “I was very up for the challenge as I’ve always wanted children, but I didn’t really think about what was involved in being a full-time dad. “Sometimes it’s hard because all Matilda wants is her mum.” Craig says his experience made him realise there is not enough support for stay-at-home dads. “I tried to integrate with local playgroups, but the mums can be quite cliquey and it’s very difficult for a dad to be accepted. “A lot of mum-and-baby groups say fathers are welcome but in reality it’s not like that – the mums can be quite cold.” Craig is planning on going back to work part-time when Matilda starts nursery, but says he feels anxious at the prospect of returning to normality. “It feels like my brain has been conditioned to sing to Peppa Pig or nursery rhymes. The thought of carrying out serious and responsible tasks within a role kind of scares me.

Good, bad, unexpected childcare needs

More on this story

  • Why maternity leave can be harder and lonelier than you imagine
    29 November 2018
  • Video New survey of mums on maternity finds more than a quarter struggle.
    29 November 2018
  • Shared parental leave take-up may be as low as 2%
    12 February 2018
  • How the UK’s new rules on parental leave work
    5 April 2015

Related Internet links

  • Shared Parental Leave and Pay – GOV.UK

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COOKING, WASHING, TAMES

Man holding babyCooking, washing clothes, cleaning and childcare, tames men who once thought it was only the women’s job. Like most men, Jean Pierre 32 lives in Mwulire in Eastern Province in Rwanda and leaves domestic chores to his wife. Impatient, angry, demands perfection due to lack of awareness that a woman’s job is 24/7 so never ends day or night. He becomes aggressive if his wife did not meet the standards of his expectations so beats her. A grassroots intervention program trying to reduce domestic violence in Rwanda teaches men how to do household chores, and a recent study suggested it has a positive effect on communities. So Muhoza Jean Pierre used to beat his wife because he saw her as someone he married just to have children and and look after them. “I was following example of my father. My father did not do anything at home,” he said. “If ever I came home and found something not done yet I insult her. “I called her lazy, told her she was useless so must go back to her parent’s house.” But something changed after he learnt to cook and clean. It was all part of a grassroots intervention programme in Mwulire village in Eastern Province, Rwanda encouraging men’s domestic roles, including childcare. Jean Pierre says the project called, ‘Bandebereho’ or role model in Kinyarwanda helps tamed and transformed his behaviour. He took part in classes covering everything from cooking and cleaning and discuss how to challenge men’s traditional gender roles. “They asked, if a man can sweep the house, and we would say ‘he can’,” he said. “And then they would ask us: ‘Who among you does that?’ And there was no one.”Man cooking next to his wife

Real men shouldn’t cook

Facilitators from ‘Bandebereho’ taught Jean Pierre how to do tasks previously he believed his wife should do. He also added: “We would go home and try to put this into practice. “Then we would go back to training with witnesses who would testify they had observed some changes in us. “I know how to cook. I do laundry for the kids. I know how to peel plantains, I know how to pound dry cassava and sift the flour.” Jean Pierre and his wife have been married for 10 years and never helped her before. And making changes was not easy as Jean Pierre’s friends discouraged him from doing household tasks, telling him: ‘No real man should cook.’ “My family and friends said my wife bewitched me by giving me some magic drugs. They said no genuine man should carry a bundle of firewood in the street because that is for henpecked men,” he said. But Jean Pierre continued when he saw benefits to his family. He says his children feel closer to him and his wife now runs a banana business that has allowed them to improve their home. “The way my wife treats me now is different from the way she used to treat me,” he said. “She used to treat me badly because I was mistreating her too, but now we discuss and agree on things to do. “I set her free, now she is working and I am working too; whereas before I was convinced she had to stay home and be available whenever I would need her.” Fear and little freedom affected Jean Pierre’s wife Musabyimana Delphine who says she used to have little freedom and lived in fear. She said: “Sometimes I felt like a mere worker, and I would remember a worker has a salary. “I never thought a woman can ever have her own money, because I never even had time to think about any activity that generate money. “Now I have enough freedom in house, I go out and work for money like others. Start training young boys now so when they grow up they will help their wife and help look after the children. When both work, it’s a burden on the woman to care for the family or children alone.man washing a plateThe ‘Bandebereho’ project taught Jean Pierre to do tasks previously believed his wife should do. Delphine leaves at 5am to sell plantains at a market, while Jean Pierre stays at home and takes care of their four young children. “I come home relaxed and find food ready,” she said. The project’s curriculum originally developed in Latin America by global fatherhood campaign MenCare believes true equality will only be reached when men take on 50% of world’s childcare and domestic work. The research looks into changing men’s attitudes towards family care and traditional domestic. It was soon realised the good impact on men. A study looking at couples taking part in the project found two years after taking childcare lessons in Rwanda men were less likely to use violence against their female partners than those who did not attend the classes. But the study suggested one in three women whose partners took part in the programme still reported experiencing intimate partner violence. National Institute of Statistics of Rwanda, released a data in 2015, around 52% of men in the country were violent towards partners. Rwanda Men’s Resource Centre, which delivered the programme in the country, wants ‘Bandebereho’ to be widely adopted by communities and country’s government. Fidele Rutayisire the chairman of centre, said: “We still have negative social norms, negative masculinity perception cultural barriers as main factors of high violence against women in Rwanda. “Traditionally men don’t take care of children here but men control sex, resources, decision-making. “When men are actively involved in the home they realise sacrifices of women in childcare so their attitude on gender changes positively, they understand the value of gender equality.” Delphine and Jean Pierre said the program benefited their family and the whole community. “We are now on honeymoon, 10 years after our wedding,” said Jean Pierre. If there is conflict or security issue in our neighbourhood our opinion is respected because they see we don’t have problem in our household. Men appreciate and help their wives and not demand they do all the housework or take care of the family, business, Church alone without support of husbands. A happy wife is a happy life and the Bible says love your wife as Christ loved His bride Church and gave His life for you. Timothy says a husband must first look after his family and own household before serving the Church. Don’t neglect your wife and the children in the NAME OF GOD leisurely talking to single women while your wife and children at home suffer. Remember your wife is that same beautiful single woman you married and used her body to give birth to your children. And don’t abandon her for fresh young woman to give birth later to become abandoned as wife. This causes baby mama problems because men want to eat their cake and have it. So wants exclusive attention of wife at the expense of the children some are jealous of. Forget their parents took great care of them as done to children. Grow up and be father to the children to mature a responsible man not manchild depending on wife as mother. For even the Son of Man Jesus did not come to be served but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many says Mark 10:45.

  • 27 November 2018
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GOD RESTORES LOST SOULS

1543148057336-452672964.jpgGod RESTORES lost souls says Psalm 23.3-4 and Galatians 6:1 says brothers and sisters if someone sins you who are SPIRITUAL RESTORE person and show them faults in PRIVATE. If they listen, you won your brother. 2 Thessalonians 3:15 says do not treat them as enemy but help them as brother in Christ, ‘just as if’ they never sinned. GOD LOVES sinners but hates sin. 1 Timothy 5:20 says if they continue in sin rebuke them in the presence of all, so the rest will be fearful to sin. Public rebuke is often first used without the private restoration to instill fear in others shames them. Does not lead to genuine repentance, causes chaos, divides the Church members into sympathisers or opponent antagonists. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All Scripture is inspired by God, profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, training in righteousness; so the man of God is adequately equipped for every GOOD WORK. Acts 20:28 states, “Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock for the Holy Spirit made you overseers to shepherd the Church of God purchased with Jesus’ BLOOD. James 1:19, beloved brethren be quick to hear slow to speak slow to anger, no critical comments to stir up hatred to flare evil negative emotions. Godly restoration of wrong for reconciliation is hard but the hardest part is forgiving yourself and all others who wrong you or you wronged them. Whether victim or perpetrator, or right or wrong both needs God’s Mercy, Grace to forgive to receive forgiveness. God said you forgive to be forgiven by God. So leave your gifts at the altar and resolve conflict before you enter God’s HOLY PRESENCE HIS Sanctuary through BLOOD OF JESUS. OUR LORD GOD & SAVIOUR ARE PURE IN HEART so pure in heart shall see God. Psalm 51:10 says, create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. And Lamentations 5:21 says, Restore us to yourself, O LORD so we may be restored Renew our days as of old we loved and honoured you. Lamentations 3:40 says it is your conscience that helps to test and examine our ways to return to the Lord. Acts 3:19 says, Repent and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the LORD. Jeremiah 3:66 The LORD said if like days of king Josiah you backslided as Israel did on high mountain or under green trees played the harlot God says HE WILL FORGIVE if you repent. Time for the whole church, individuals and in your private prayer closet. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything and a time for talking, silence, joy, grief, tears, love and hate under heaven.” And 1 John 1:19 says, “If we confess our sins, God faithfully forgives sins to purify us from all unrighteousness.” If you are busy minding other’s sins, God says in Matthew 26:41, Watch and pray so you will not fall into same temptations you accuse others of. So spirit is willing but the flesh is weak but Jesus said if you are weak you are strong through Holy Spirit. Ask God’s forgiveness and repent in Jesus Name. Bow down at the feet of Lord Jesus Christ as a humble vessel so GOD will forgive you. And get Spiritual mentor to guide you to quality of Christ not focus on speck in other’s eyes, says Matthew 7:3. And Psalm 145:14 says The LORD upholds all who fall and lifts up all bowed down. All who overcome will be clothed in white garments, and I will not blot out their name from the Book of Life, I will confess their names before My FATHER God and before HIS angels says Revelation 3:4-5. Praise Jesus Christ our Lord, and Saviour. “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen. Accept Jesus Christ Who gave His Life on Cross at Calvary, to receive Forgiveness freely available through His ULTIMATE SACRIFICE to Come into your life to live in your heart to be your KING, Lord and Saviour.1543147650346-452672964.jpg And from this day not be controlled by sin or desire to please self but follow Jesus all the days of your life. Ask this in Jesus’ precious Holy Name, Amen. In Matthew 18:15-17, Bible says if refuses to LISTEN take one, two-three people with you so BY MOUTH OF TWO, THREE WITNESSES to CONFIRM action but if still refuses to listen, tell Church. And if refuses to listen to the Church let them be Gentile or tax collector to you. The Bible verses help Church members or their leaders clearly to guide people using God’s right procedure. Know God wants restoration in Church to help to ensure Jesus is at centre of a restoration process. Bible’s approach is opportunity for people to take initiative to seek help for those who miss the mark. A person suffering secretly in sin struggles and to keep up with effects of sin damage their lives and those involved. Some may play games with people’s emotions in denial but deep down in their heart crying out for help. It takes courage to open up and seek help and forgiveness of those they offended. Damage done affects so many people causing others to lose the faith in God. Its painful, sad, shocking believers confess of falling into sin. What do you do when a beloved brother or sister in Christ makes wrong choice to fall in sin? First direct them to pray and ask God’s forgiveness to repent and make effort to actively stop the sin. Abraham restored Lot his fallen nephew in Genesis 14:1-24 when he and Sarah left Haran to travel to Canaan in Genesis 12.4. Abraham’s nephew Lot chose to take risks in a war zone among enemies to stay behind. Abraham rescued Lot in time when Amraphel a king of Shinar, Arioch king of Ellasar, Kedorlaomer the king of Elam and Tidal king of Goyim four kings seized all goods of Sodom, Gomorrah their food, took Abraham’s nephew Lot and his possessions as he lived in Sodom. A man who escaped reported it Abraham living near the great trees of Mamre the Amorite, of Eshkoland Aner allied with Abraham. Abram took 318 trained men in his household in pursuit to Dan. Abraham divided his men to attack and routed them Hobah north of Damascus. He recovered all goods so brought back Lot and his possessions together with the women and others. So Abraham after defeating Kedorlaomer and kings allied with him, the king of Sodom came out to meet him in Valley of Shaveh or the King’s Valley. Abraham risked his life with the others to rescue stubborn nephew who chose to stay in a place against advise. He got into trouble but chose the most fertile land later and did not remember his uncle’s sacrifice. People why God told Abraham to leave his family and kindred in Iraq but chose to bring Lot along with his aged father to slow him down. Despite Abraham’s best efforts Lot eventually flees Sodom with his daughters and his wife turned into Pillar of salt. His daughters mated with their father to create the Moabites known for history of incest. Abraham’s risk and correction of Lot seems a waste of time probably best if he perished life would have been better. Often onlooker is reluctant to get involved in another person’s mess if it endangers their life. Abraham’s effort to RESTORE Lot and his family to reconnect to God under the tutelage of Abraham didn’t last long. As you can take a horse to the water but can’t force it to drink. Abraham played a crucial role in his need to restore Lot by a bold victory in battle yet Lot yields to sin by learning the evil ways of Sodom. Abraham thought Lot learnt his lesson and listened so gained his nephew back. Lot went back to his old ways so became his own master of destruction. It easy to spot anyone in sin to forgive and restore them to SAVE YOUR SOUL. Abraham’s experience with Lot is a classic example of futile efforts to help others in vain. So in this case Abraham saved his soul by doing the right thing to obey God to help his nephew in a time of need by wrong choices. First reaction is condemnation and shaming of person to disgrace them to change. This is not Biblical because it makes the situation worse to harden the heart and embarrass them so never step in Church again. A naive young baby Christian may not fully know the word of God makes mistakes in the beginning.1543147839273-1104846375.jpg Titus 3:10-11, reject them and run away like Joseph after first, second warning if person is bent on sin self-condemns. In 1 Corinthians 5:11, ‘I wrote to you not to associate with immoral person covetous or idolater, reviler, drunkard, swindler do not eat with them. In 2 Romans 13 : 4, if a minister of God to you is good but some do evil, be afraid; for they do not bear sword for nothing; for a minister of God is avenger who brings wrath on the ones who practice evil.In 1 Timothy 1:20 Hymenaeus and Alexander handed over to satan to be afflicted and taught not to blaspheme. Their flesh tormented by satan forces them to seek God’s Face to deliver their souls. In 1 Corinthians 5:5 some believers deliver to satan for destruction of flesh, so the spirit may be saved in day of the Lord Jesus. Romans 16:17 urges brethren to keep eyes on all those who cause divisions, hindrances contrary to teachings learnt and turn away from them. In Galatians 6:1 those Spiritual are to restore sinner in SPIRIT of GENTLENESS so you too will not be tempted. The Righteous fall 7 times but God lifts them up. Jesus said forgive 70 x 70 time = 490 times per day not be bitter and revengeful but leaving judgement to God the GREATEST ‘ Judge and Avenger.’ If they commit atrocities as God’s Children and sin against God the ALMIGHTY God deals with them for all Powers and Authority in Heaven and Earth is given to Lord Jesus Christ and Saviour the rightful judge to restore the backslider. Remember the story of King David, a friend of God punished by God after adultery with Uriah’s wife tried to cover his sins transferred innocent man Uriah to war front killed in battle. God is Righteous and David was punished for his wickedness. God gave David 2 two options for his punishment to choose. a) God wants to hand him to enemies to be punished  b) God punish him HIMSELF. David chose God to inflict punishment for ‘man is cruel and wicked’ but God is compassionate and merciful so restored David. Man will totally and completely will destroy everything about him is a lesson for all to learn in Church. It is God’s BUSINESS so leave it for God. The man of God and sinners disobeys God’s Word so that is God’s exclusive domain. Judas betrayed Christ, but it did not affect His Ministry. Ministers of God and apostles in many Churches of God commit sin in House of God but it does not affect God in those Churches. People out of frustration and lack of patience, deny God to backslide but still God gives them another chance. In Jeremiah 3:14, “Return, O backsliding children” says The LORD; “I AM married to you. I will take you. One from a city and two from a family and bring you to Zion.” Human make mistakes so like all open to Forgiveness and Restoration by God Himself. Encourage, pray, believe God for restoration. Stress pressurizes  people of God to seek relief in a secular way but leave them to God’s judgement. Pray the LORD’s wrath on detractors is cancelled for the unity of Church of God in Jesus Name, Ephesians 4:4-7 says as one body and Spirit, called in one hope of your calling; one LORD, one faith, one baptism: one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all and in you all. To each one grace is given according to measure of Christ’s gift.” These words of God in Jesus Name, Amen, Jesus said, “all those without sin cast the first stone as Jesus told woman caught in adultery, so given second chance to go and sin no more. The man involved her accusers pardoned so left her alone, reminded of their own sinful natures by Jesus Christ. Does it mean this woman can count on Jesus’ forgiveness to repeat sinful action because of guaranteed mercy of God? Of course not Bible says because the Grace of God abounds is not licence to sin. The years of ignorance God forgives because unaware of consequences. A deliberate sin commited and excused by qouting Roman 8:38-39 that nothing separates a believer from God is the willful offence used to manipulate naive Christians to engage in sin. “For I am persuaded that death, life, angels, principalities, powers or things present, things to come, height depth or another creature can separate us from the LOVE of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. So verse is twisted to convince believer God forgives no matter the sin of killing, stealing or destructions due to lust. Joseph refused to “sin against God” but punished for his honesty, loyalty to God and his master Portipher. A person who does not get their evil way harasses the one strong in the LORD who refuses to sin with them like Portipher’s wife lied about Joseph who run from sin. The person blackmails a victim, withdraws all favour, isolates them to stop others defeating them too. Be careful when a person is victimised for standing up for Christ in righteousness. The perpetrator puts them down like Joseph for refusing an evil request for doing the right thing. Its better to Obey and please God rather than join a man to use and abuse you. It may cost you material possessions and reputation but God will supply all your needs from Glory in heaven. Joseph’s is a great example of God rewarding and promoting Joseph who was harassed by his siblings in the family. Though Joseph suffered God honoured him to save the world from the 7 years famine in Egypt. a-gospel-that-doesnt-include-repentance-is-a-false-gospel-768x768.jpgThe woman caught in adultery is sent to seek God’s punishment but found Grace, Mercy for forgiveness Jesus forgave her. The self-righteous condemned her to death but Bible says confess your sins to God and cover all other people’s sins. It does not mean condoning but is none of your business if you witnessed it. Spreading negative rumours DEFILES the innocent mind and distract Gospel. The devil uses gossip to stop receiving deliverance. It takes two tango so those scorned and embittered but didn’t walk away repent. Some went back for more abuse, play victim to attack, spread hatred. Bible says, what is true and of GOOD REPORT think on these things. For evil reports, fast privately on behalf to INTERCEDE with Jesus the INTERCESSOR in heaven. Gossipers will not enter kingdom of God for the sin of defiling minds of others to cause them to depart from the faith. Gossip is as evil as murder, adultery etc. Corinthians 6:9-10 says, backbiters, gossips, slanderers, will not inherit THE KINGDOM OF GOD. Unless they REPENT will be shut out of the KINGDOM of HEAVEN. Let God deal with sin for the greater the calling the bigger the target of satan’s attacks. And despite God’s punishment the Covenant continues through Jesus to sit on throne of King David. God’s Mercy is for people who humble themselves God Forgives. King Solomon’s mother was married to King David after her husband Uriah was killed. Despite sin God chose Solomon to build HIM a Temple in Jerusalem. Don’t sin putting your mouth against people who sin against God the CREATOR and people being destroyed by perpetrators. Who appoint you judge of God’s people? They face Spiritual attack so cover them in prayer and by the Blood of Jesus. And 1 Corinthians 6.9-10 says its duty to God is to pray for mercy but NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS to spread such gossip online, by phone, email, texts or verbally to do more damage to them and yourself. The metoo# movement is global so sleeping with wo/men/girls has become common phenomenon in Church, homes, schools, offices, shrines, Bible college, seminary villages all locations, clubs etc. Angels in heaven fell down and slept with women on earth to produce the giant nephilims. Perfect people do not exist on earth but strive for perfection by God’s Grace. Its crucial Children of God abstain from all sins in the Body of Christ in the Church of God to have good success by God’s Grace in Jesus Name. Such a common occurrence of prevalent drives Church to seek God’s Face more. Church general overseers snatch other’s wives and the paedophile priests falls like the secular people. Church has heard or known all problems in society everywhere but it is the Grace of God that sustains Churches. As David fell and rose again in the Bible so challenge of sin with thoughts, sight or body, is a weakness for everyone to overcome. Have you overcome yours, whether in pulpit or pew? Revealing or advertising sin committed in secret seen by God is non of your business. Pray for all to overcome weaknesses and grow in Jesus Christ. The Church grows because Jesus said, gates of hell will not prevail against it in Jesus Name. A Church often condemned thrives, so attack favour the ministry accused, persecuted or suffers name calling harassment. God is behind the Church despite continued rumours and attacks used to try to cause damage to stop good success. Seek God yourself so Jesus will save, heal and deliver you for Eternal life of your soul not perish. It is endtimes and Jesus is Coming soon in Rapture so Gossip GOSPEL to win souls in Jesus Name for God’s KINGDOM to come on a perfect earth.

 

IGNORANT Ignorant ignorant

1541706651819605598922-1.jpgIgnorant is ignorant of ignorance due to ignorance is bliss like burying own head in the sand ignoring obvious situations. Ignorance is glaring for all to see except the ignorant person affected. Although no one knows everything in life, basic common sense requires awareness of people’s educational, social, cultural or psychological and health needs to help interact better in society. God in the Bible says, My People perish for lack of knowledge. This means God’s manual of life is abandoned and ignored to search for alternatives to suit each person as they are fit regardless of whether it is in the best interest of others or not. Such an attitude concentrates efforts only on what is in it for me. Such a self-centred personality sees the world through only their viewpoint despite views of billions of other people on earth. Ego is inflated so much despite academic achievement ignorant and unskilled in dealing fairly with people. Unaware of ignorance lives in a bubble without realising difficulties in not recognising own incompetence. It leads to the hyper – inflated exaggerated self-assessment ego ignorant of damage of their own ignorance on themselves or others bullied into coercion. Ignorant naive ignorant but insist on dominating others is the tragedy of today’s society. An ignorant character is too ignorant to realize their ignorance, others deal with and put up with for the sake of peace. If ignorant but insists on making decisions that lacks awareness of consequences, it is often too late to repair damage others saw in advance but were overruled. The power game of feeling in control to tell others what to do feel empowered is a sign if insecurity. Constantly orders the others about without any taking of the responsibility for actions. Power hungry bubble wrapped in virtual reality lacks undertanding of practical daily issues.  15417067548761293330498-1.jpgUnderlying ignorant fear of unknown is reason lurking behind the ignorant who does not value or respect those around them who sacrifice time to portray their fake image perfect, grand, great or best. Yet deep down in their hearts unhappy about coercion threats for fear of being fired for genuine honesty. The truth is not clearly obvious to ignorant and yet argues and fights the best experts in the field of expertise. A strong egotistic will untamed fester’s into all aspects of their lives never having no for an answer. So moves heaven and earth to achieve any thing they fancy or feel like doing. This starts from childhood if the self-centred ego is not nipped in bud. Having control over peers and colleagues to manipulate them to do their bidding and dirty work for them. Ignorance is dangerous if the ignorant makes decisions of the policies they know nothing about. Meanwhile a choice of whatever they want supplied at their beck and call exploiting others. It means an ignorant person affects the other people suffering due to ignorant choices they make on behalf of others. The irony is people are most likely to be ignorant of extent of their ignorance do not listen to anybody. It starts, with the authoritarian, do as I say not what I do type of bullying compulsive behaviour. Impulsive decisions mean they do not remember what they said or what they did previously. Meanwhile everyone around them remembers their insults and tantrums of how they were made to feel small by them. So do not forget but dare not question their ever-changing decisions of instructions in atmosphere of fear. Ignorant lacks knowledge of the basic things even children may know. 1541706870660-566392789.jpgIt gets worse over time when the people hide the truth from them to conceal the effects of their aggressive reactions. The ignorant describe life in their state of unawareness of the things they should know. Means its ignorance defining lack of knowledge or training of ignorance of their harmful side of their ignorance. Lack of awareness is more dangerous as ignorant has not enough knowledge, understanding, or information about somethings they do or have to do on the behalf of others. Their ignorance rubs people the wrong way because but they ignore the expert advise and so do their ignorant things. Their opinion divides, damaging people, health, work, homes, families, etc. Precisely the kind of world ignorant run but unequipped mentally, morally ethically destroy environment and the earth. Ignorance of God’s plans, through Jesus’ purpose for mankind by ignorant people causes ignorant to live their lives trampling on other people like beasts. By ignorance they choose knowledge that leads to woes for many people. The question is how come the ignorant flourish like a great tree so overbearing little trees cannot get their daily Sunshine, nutrition or rain to live and let live and Jesus anymore? Jesus already warns of such perilous times so people must know how to respond not to react to the hatred triggered by them. It’s part of endtime prophecy in Bible on how evil is seen as good so good is seen as evil due to deception. Their negative vibes drive hatred and conflict distracts attention from their ignorance. People latch unto their loathing divide and rule targets fights and wars of destruction to cull the global population to dominate all people on earth. Ignorance leads to a world getting worse fuelled by hatred to spurs gullible to self-destruct. People are too busy projecting hatred on others to scrutinise their incompetency. Stress of constant pressure surround them so chaos and confusion since at the helm of affairs controlling others. Inability to listen to others destroys them so people walk on egg shells around them in fear. The spirit behind this is satan for just a season to be driven out by Jesus to take back power to Reign on earth.

OXFORD CHRISTIAN CAMPS

Oxford_skyline_0The students at the University of Oxford voted to ban a Christian group from one of their colleges because it will threaten their “physical and mental safety.” The JCR at Lady Margaret Hall have voted overwhelmingly in favour of banning Christian Concern group from hosting a residential summer camp on the Oxford premises because their values do not align with those of the college. Christian Concern members protested outside the abortion clinics and its founder Andrea Williams believes in the criminalisation of homosexuality. She claimed the earth is only 4,000 years old not the 4.5 billion years by science community. The group wants to host the residential camp for young people, aims to train and equip the invited students on what it means to proclaim Christ in public life, but JCR members vote rejects the residency by a margin of 81 votes to eight, with two absentia. According to student newspaper OxStu, “members of the JCR spoke in the debate recognised Christian Concern as “real threat to the physical and mental safety of students.” One student made point “we’re inviting them into our home and we can’t invite people who stand against our values.” The debate was consultative, but the college’s governing body will make its final decision next week. The move is understood to be driven by the LGBT students who say they wouldn’t feel so welcome if the college gives platform to the Christian camp. There is a perceived threat because of organisation’s history of pro-life choice protests outside the abortion clinics. The camp is supposed to take place next summer, before term starts but no fixed date has been set. Although the vast majority of students will not be at the college, some will be on site doing research projects. Around 60 postgraduates live permanently on site. In a statement to The OxStu, Oxford student newspaper, a JCR spokesperson said: “The JCR met to discuss and pass a motion that they oppose the Christian group coming. But, until a decision is made, it would not be appropriate to comment further.”

World University Rankings top 10

1. Oxford University
2. Cambridge University
3. California Institute of Technology
=3. Stanford University
5. Massachusetts Institute of Technology
6. Harvard University
7. Princeton University
8. Imperial College London
9: University of Chicago
10. ETH Zurich – Swiss Federal Institute of Technology
10. University of Pennsylvania

MEN’S EXPRESSED FEELINGS

James Livitski, a Canadian graphic designer, says men should be able to talk about their feelings

Men’s expressed feelings of masculinity of life as a man is not always easy James Livitski Canadian graphic designer says. Men should be able to talk about their feelings without feeling ‘weak’ and ‘not in control.’ Stories of the difficulties of modern women are often told, but how much do you read about the downsides of being a man? This searingly honest conversation unfolded online this week as men shared the negative impact of “toxic masculinity” on their lives. It was a rare chance for many to express how society expects men’s toughness, sexual virility and emotional reserve that lead to isolation, loneliness or just feelings of being uncomfortable around mates. It all started when British columnist and feminist Caitlin Moran put out a call for men on Twitter to talk about drawbacks of being guy today. We spoke to people sharing their thoughts and feelings. A Super Bowl of feelings unfold as James Livitski, Toronto, Canada was really so happy to see topic widely talked about on Twitter. He said, I’ve been saying this forever that there’s a stigma about men talking about feelings. We’re born into thinking a man should be ‘tough,’ push feelings aside because it isn’t ‘manly.’James Livitski, 32James Livitski, 32, sees countless times the impact of social norms that men should not be emotional or vulnerable. “I’ve heard of many relationships end because the man can’t express the way he feels. “We need to be more open to listening to how a man is feeling and push more for them to understand that it’s OK to feel things.” Although his own dad is a “really sensitive man”, he says that many are not taught how do that without fear they will be judged. “We’re all humans and we all feel. You should never be afraid to say what is on your mind. Men should have a Super Bowl for feelings,” he suggests. Increased attention has been paid to men’s mental health in recent years. British Men have the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) aims to challenge a culture that prevents men seeking help when they need it, highlighting that in Britain the single biggest killer of men under 45 is suicide. Men and women experience many of the same mental health issues, but men with depression or anxiety may hide emotions and express anger or aggression instead, according to the US National Institute of Mental Health.

Missed connections

Pressure is men who express their love for family or friends as feminine and emasculated, according to Phil Chan, a digital artist from California. “My dad never told me he loved me, even though I know he does. He did not hug me even now in his eighties I will love to hear it.”Phil Chan: Phil Chan: “I think #Metoo movement opened up communications between genders.“After I told my closest friends how I feel about them, if, it brought us closer together. We hug on a regular basis!” Phil also explained that when caring for his baby nephew, women in public would assume he was clueless about looking after an infant. At a party with his nephew, a group of women criticised him, giving instructions on how to “properly” change and hold the baby. He worries this negatively affects men’s hopes about fatherhood. “I think if men might to be more vulnerable, we could be more compassionate and empathetic,” he suggests.Mark is a software developer in Sydeny, AustraliaMark is a software developer in Sydney, Australia. Mark Pursey, 46, suggests that men find it difficult to foster friendships if they meet a new person. In contrast to men many women who enthusiastically exchange contact information. “I have definitely got a mental list of ‘missed connections’ where I met some guy at a random event got on really well. It’s like ‘see you later dude’ and we never meet again.” He says that in many cases this overwhelmingly leads to loneliness and isolation. Mark says that’s because men are “not learning the emotional labour stuff”, adding, “we like to show off but not put in the boring maintenance work in relationships. “It’s like we still need play dates organised for us.”

Sexual virility

Another issue talked about is men feeling uncomfortable when peers blatantly check out or sexualize women, commenting on their appearance. “It can get toxic easily, and as a guy we’re expected to contribute. It’s happened a lot and it’s so uncomfortable. Just being around that conversation makes me feel dirty,” commented Alan Gretch, 21, from the US state of Nebraska.Alan is completing a Masters in human services to become a counsellorAlan is completing a Masters in human services to become a counsellor. Alan says these conversations are common especially when there are no women around: “They range from ‘this person is hot’ to more graphic descriptions of girls.” He says it’s difficult to challenge men when the conversations begin. “It’s bully, be bullied, or stay silent. It’s a no win situation,” Alan explains. Anxiety about expectations of sexual virility was raised by many contributors on Twitter. “The idea if you’re not: drinking heavily, trying to shag everything moves, living and breathing sport, solving problems with violence, competing with other men to be the ‘alpha’, then you’re not a man,” wrote Neil Walsh. Another user added assumptions of sexual advances are often made when he tries to be “just friends” with women, adding “Yes I know there are very good reasons for this.”

I don’t want to be daddy

Gin Lowdean, in Edinburgh, Scotland, revealed that her four-year-old son told her he doesn’t want to be a dad when he grows up. Instead he’s “excited to be a mummy.” When Gin pointed out most men don’t become mothers, he became sad because “Daddies have to work all the time, they never get to dance and nobody hugs them.” Gin explained that she was shocked because her husband is very affectionate with his sons, but she presumes her son picked up idea from nursery and television. “His dad was devastated, he hugs him all the time and loves to dance,” she explained, adding that to try to rectify the issue by purchasing books about how to express feelings of stories, challenge traditional masculinity. Express yourself honestly, be polite, straight to the point, upfront with feelings. Its vital learn to talk to the person because individual differences show people hear things from their own point of view. See yourself in another’s shoes before you speak, text, telephone, call or write them letter. Your goal is be friends, acquaintances, colleagues, date or marry. Be specific so your motive is clearly expressed directly not to belittle or blackmail, manipulate or abuse their emotions. Women are very sensitive to words and so remember to be careful what you say because they never forget the details of conversations. No matter how long ago, women remember where conversations take place, when it took place, what worn and tone of voice and moods. Women pay particular attention to details, colours, shapes, sizes, context and your choices of meals, drinks etc. So do not talk out of frustration or anger to offload and dump feelings on others for relief. Respect differences, be pragmatic and agree to disagree when feelings are not mutual. Consider effects of feelings on others if you really care about them you must compromise and find neutral ground to corporate. If shy, looking for the love of your life, approach a trusted reliable friend, family member, pastor, life coach, mentor or counsellors to seek advice. God created marriage so if you need a relationship and desire spouse to marry pray, ask God’s help for wisdom, guidance, direction because God says to find a wife is a good thing. God said it’s not good to be alone so pleases God you meet a right partner to marry. Its Gods idea you marry so ask HIS HELP not go to psychics or witchdoctors to give you charm, potions, lotions, spells to destroy your life, home, career business creates discord. GOD IS LOVE so BEST Expert on love, relationship, family matters.

 

Twitter post by @caitlinmoran

“I do think if us men were ta

Georgina Rannard, UGC & Social News

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HIGHLY EDUCATED STUPID?

051a9879c98b9715605584256aeb1a99c50c6a-wmThis outrageous statement is brought to our attention through debate by people discussing the direction of the world. It was argued George Orwell and Pascal, among great achievers and influencers never went to university yet successful. Some points made include these facts as follows: that education restricts natural wisdom and insists on compliance and conformity of students. One size fits all curriculum is not designed to promote natural skills, talents or abilities rather imposes views and propaganda agenda of a dominant culture. Regardless of the relevance of education to each student its compulsory to study pass assessed on league table to determine course of career. Generalised syllabus is market driven for sales and profit for lucrative exam boards which is another factor. So government funding based on category of subjects considered for grants means schools must present candidates for the courses without teachers and resources to qualify for allowance for the budget. Children’s subjects imposed on them for the sake of keeping up appearances but their certificates registered ‘failed’ even though hardly taught subjects. A school size matters too so their population size determines the amount school receives. Children incapable of reading, spelling, communicating by up to date academic standard copy subjects not taught so it seems performance is excellent in their school report. Teachers do performance related but struggle with children below average forced to learn. Exceptionally gifted talented children suffer because time for lessons too limited to motivate them at their level. Some are bored and lose interest or are homeschooled by a parent giving up career to teach them. It is the context of such extreme cases that frustrate students that they become an educated person. Hoping to get a job to earn income or take loans to continue higher and further education. Despite a life choice in either direction education is still not considered enough to meet all needs of everyone in society. The elite view is that education is the key to life to solve all problems. nelsonmandela1Get so cross when others don’t take such view of education as they do due to a sense of entitlement. People talk of culture of entitlement by those who live on benefits but the elite has its own entitlement culture. They think because they studied at particular University or a specific subject it means they understand the world better than a ‘plebeians.’ They think they are superior so their view should prevail. They also think they are morally superior because they hold views they are told, virtuous. Anyone who appears not to subscribe to these views considered a sinner or else appallingly misled by some other evil force. It is outrageous to elite works of “devil” should prevail against them. It is they who are virtuous so knows best as the chosen ones. Their views or ideas they impose on others they expect and intend to prevail whether society likes it or not. This basic fundamental belief is the construct of education as if every other culture is tabula rasa non-existent blank society waiting to be civilised. It is such condescending biased views some responses complained damages diverse cultures in society. Jefferson-education-768x476Forced, suppressed and the subdued by compulsory subjects to tow the line of only civilised society. History is always written by victors from their point of view portraying victims as perpetrators. Underlying fear is that subdued cultures will find way to overcome suppression to make new life for themselves without total dependence on dominant culture. Their economies will collapse because other cultures are the extension of their market place. Without selling good to such cultures will be limited in growth. Secondly, resources exploited from this cultures will not be available if they can process and sell it directly to each other without the middleman meddling with their minds and paying them with old rustic weapons to fight and kill each other. The study of some subjects never come up int classroom way down at the bottom of the curriculum. There is not enough weeks in the year to reach the subject deliberately fixed in the holiday months. Disparity of one-way education limits an appropriate knowledge of the dominant culture who despise and lack understanding “plebeians.” benjaminfranklin1-2xDerogatory attitude towards the other culture, insults treating them as inferior permeates society. Causes frustration of younger generations made to think they will improve their lot in life through an education. It is worse after education because theory does not match reality in life worst of all now heavily indebted without jobs. Irony is billionaires have free accommodations, free perks or free fares to fly globally to spend allowance given them in free hotels paid for. And the compulsory educated look on while it seems provisions are readily available for certain elites of society from their taxes paid. Worst of all the least treated are original owners of wealth misused and flaunted in their faces. How does an elite class indulging in luxury expect the starving hungry ‘plebeian’ servant class running up and down to fulfill all their egotistical demand and tantrum wishes to feel? Is too much to ask to live and let live to agree to disagree? Go to remotest hovel on planet earth and TV is there, fresh clean spring water rejected for the unhealthy fizzy sugary drink, packaged canned food preferred to a rich natural local nourishment in the name modern sophistication. Free milk ban in schools led to fizzy drink increasing allergies. ekhaya-ekasiWomen must consulted for an inclusive policy to benefit familes, disabled and all sectors of society. Education cannot be just to enrich a few powerful men in power to waste resources only on their wants at the expense of all people. The everyday reports shows people’s health damaged by junk food published in data and statistics by many nutrition boards. Environment is destroyed by persistent distorted belief a privilged few deserve the best in life. Others flabbergasted like cargo cult want imported things best to consume than grow their local produce. Unless agricultural students or a family business, farm producing poultry, cattle milk etc. most educated want to sit by computer all day. They sincerely believe educated people must never do the blue colour jobs. Billions all over the world are waiting and hoping for day things will automatically fall into place so they will become rich like those they aspire to be like. They do not realise the most successful people spend years on shop floor learning skills, doing odd jobs and perfecting crafts before breakthroughs. Many strongly think preposterous ideas, flaunted on a social media followed by a lots of people suddenly turns to millions dollars to make them rich. Look to a few making billions misguided and misled by online money scams. Rich offshore accounts of hidden wealth of the rich is grown by a pyramid scheme investors creating debts for the young who want such expensive things free too. alberteinstein1-2xSome think expensive products with the glamorous packaging thrown away is a better quality. This misnomer is driving society geared it towards AI robots and a driverless car creating unemployment due to fear middle classes will take over to control society. Perpetually subdue, stress put under pressure mental health sleepless nights on medication driven to suicide because of policies harassing citizens. What is good for the goose is not obviously good for the gander with low pay for the women doing equal jobs it seems education has a lot to learn from society to fix itself. It seems Jesus’ words of that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer is played right before our eyes. It is as if licence is given to the rich to go all the way out to exploit the poor to humiliate to fulfil the prophecy of Jesus. Jesus the OWNER of all wealth will hold educated elite rich to account for how they managed and shared HIS WEALTH.  Projects enrich wealthy who can afford to pay while people deemed less in society on scandalous zero hour contract or work hard but go to food banks for food. They deliberately kill off society softly keeping wealth for greedy privileged few. The world is soon going to be over elite need to reconsider their views towards God’s priceless humans created treated badly. Read Revelations 19:15-19 describing the consequences of mistreatment of plebeians by the highly educated who consistently maintain the structures that affects people. They may not value them but are Highly Valued by God their CREATOR. Fear of lacking resources drives many to deprive others but remember God Owns it all. Why will you gain the whole world and perish by losing your soul to material things that cannot be taken out of this world. Yet is going to be used by God to judge people for not sharing material things totally useless in heaven or hell depending on destination. Intelligence in not enough because education is one component of life among other factors: family matters, child or elderly care, health, neighbours and finances. More years are spend on education but untrained to handle long-term life issues concerning others.bertrandrussell1-2x

In 1999 in publication of David Dunning and Justin Kruger the psychologists had noticed in prior studies that areas like reading comprehension, playing chess, driving car, blissful ignorance is falsely confident more than a knowledgeable. Cornell University conducts experiment on effect showing less competent people overestimate their own skills and don’t recognize when other’s superior skills. It requires competent skills to produce a right answer to recognize right answers in life. Smart people listen attentively to consider argument before any decision.

3. Stupid people react by aggressive anger 

The smartest people do get angry from time to time but for the less intelligent people its go-to reaction if things aren’t going their way. Loss of control over a situation tends to use angry aggressive behavior to secure their view. Research by University of Michigan studying 600 participants with parents and children, over 22 years found distinct correlation between aggressive behaviour and the lower IQ-score. The researchers wrote in their elaboration: “We hypothesized low intelligence made learnt aggressive responses more likely at early age, and this aggressive behaviour continued so an intellectual development difficult.”750124-Neal-Stephenson-Quote-The-difference-between-stupid-and (1)

4. Stupid people ignore needs feelings of others  

Intelligent people tend to be very good at empathizing with others. This makes it easy for them to understand another person’s point of view. Russel James of the Texas Tech University conducted a representative study with thousands of Americans and found out that people with a higher IQ are more inclined to give without expecting anything in return. As it turns out, an intelligent person is better at assessing the needs of other people and also more likely to want to help them. “People with higher cognitive ability able to understand and fulfill needs of distant others.” People less smart have a hard time imagining people think differently than them so disagree with them. A concept of doing things for others without expecting a favour in return is foreign to them. It’s completely normal, human, important to keep balance between need to pursue our goals but consider other’s feelings.

5. Stupid people think better than all

Intelligent people motivate and help others because they are not afraid of being overshadowed. They have healthy level of confidence and smart enough to accurately assess own competence. The stupid people on the other hand tend to badmouth others in order to look better themselves. They believe they are above everyone else so always quick to judge. Prejudice is not a sign of intelligence. A Canadian “Psychological Science” study by two scientists at Brock University of Ontario found “those with low IQs tend more in favour of harsh punishments, more homophobic and more likely to be racist.” Many biologists believe human ability to cooperate is instrumental to our overall development. It means the most important signifier of intelligence is being good at working with others.

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David Dunning and Justin Kruger 1999 Psychologists, Smart and Stupid people, University of Michigan.