THE PROCESS OF DIVORCE

Divorce is an unpleasant process more awful when separating couples cannot reach agreement, engage in litigation. Suddenly the love of your life becomes opponent and contributions to marriage is pored over by lawyers and potentially judges. Divorce can become gendered family lawyers will be acutely aware of the unfortunate tendency to refer to the ‘breadwinning husband’ homemaking wife’ This does not reflect the reality of many modern marriages but often it is the wife who undertakes most childcare and domestic duties, while the husband has created most of the wealth for the family. Most people think of the actual divorce as the most stressful element but is resolved fairly swiftly. For most married couples this reflects the basic principle of their union: you are a team, you share responsibilities and funds, and make joint decisions. So what happens if not on the same side? It was a question posed by most cases.

Millionaire businessman Mr Work was ordered to pay his wife half his £140m fortune in 2015, but fought the court’s decision, saying his wife ‘stayed home’ during 2 decades long marriage, during which she raised their two children. He argued he made all the family’s money and claimed to posses quality of genius enabled him to do this without support of his wife. Court of Appeal disagreed so dismissed Mr Work’s appeal. He must pay half of his fortune to ex wife, after judge accepts she is a ‘good homemaker and good mother,’ adding it was down to her willingness to move to Japan the husband was able to amass his wealth.

The important decision for stay-at-home mothers raises questions of how judges should consider the spouses’ respective contributions in ‘big money’ divorce cases. Most people think actual divorce most stressful element but is usually resolved fairly swiftly. Majority of the arguments centre around division of assets or some technicalities or division of everything couple collectively own and earned during marriage. England and Wales is known to be one of the most generous jurisdictions there is. London is the divorce capital of world for fairness is central to process and in cases each party’s financial needs are met by the assets available, the starting point for division is 50:50. The Court has wide discretion when making financial orders and considers a range of factors. One factor is the contribution that both the husband and wife made. Thanks to new verdict, it is now settled law there should be no discrimination between breadwinner and homemaker. Staying at home, cooking, cleaning, reading to children is as important as working 12 hours a day on trading floor earning £1m a year. Mothers feel they make special contribution of ‘exceptional quality’ every day. Over the years various arguments used by mostly wealthy husbands to convince courts is award to their spouse to be less than 50 per cent. The favourite known as special contribution involves arguing financial input to marriage was significant award should be increased in their favour. To be successful need to amass significant wealth and show they used ‘exceptional quality’ or ‘genius’ to achieve this.

What about homemakers? How does this not discriminate against the wife, at home with the children every day? The wife quietly supporting her husband in his endeavours? What about spouse who sacrificed own successful career? Or those who are juggling both a career and childcare? Many mothers no doubt feel they make a special contribution of ‘exceptional quality’ daily. The Court of Appeal has confirmed this principle still stands though many hope it will in due course either limited or abolished by the Supreme Court. Litigation is bad enough without having to rummage into the detail of who did what and when to justify their contribution. In addition to cases where wife receives a substantial lump sum settlement such as Mandy Gray will get. In England and Wales one of the attractive forums in the world is for the financially weaker spouse paid maintenance for life. This concept is alien to nearby jurisdictions. Just across the border in Scotland, the maximum maintenance term is three years. However, this ‘meal ticket for life’ is becoming rarer. The Court looks at each spouse’s income and earning capacity. Consideration is given to whether or not having a qualification worked recently or assumes childcare responsibilities. The test is whether, in light of all these circumstances payee adjust to their financial independence without undue hardship. Judges want to see hard evidence of efforts of receiving party to maximise earning capacity.

Some wives may think its unfair if was agreed during the marriage that they would be supported financially and made sacrifices to this effect. Others may welcome opportunity to re-enter the working world; potentially a new lease of life after divorce. Although returning to work, for women, is unduly tough – despite the glut of ‘returnships’ now on offer from big companies. What is clear is society moves on so does the family law. Undoubtedly the problem is focus continues to be trying to achieve fairness for both husbands and wives. One imagines Ms Gray would agree that this has been achieved.

5 things about divorce Ayesha Vardag

1. It takes longer and be more harrowing than you think.

If everything can be agreed then it is possible for a case to be resolved in a few weeks but more likely exchanging disclosure, attending court hammering out a settlement will take around a year, and often more, and it can really wear you down. It is a marathon endeavour so important to keep your spirits up.

2. Ending marriage and finance issues are completely separate.

The reasons for the marriage ending will almost never affect the financial outcome and the court will not punish a spouse for marital indiscretions.

3. Courts less glamorous than you imagine.

Most English courts mahogany-panelled Victorian masterpieces, but most poorly maintained post-war monstrosities with hot, airless waiting rooms and windows that do not open, where you wait for hours on end, the tension is unbearable. Arbitration or a private family dispute resolution offers chance to move case to salubrious surroundings to settle it.

4. Nothing is “off the record”.

You are required to be fully frank about finances so lawyers are not allowed to help hide assets or lie to partner. To courts, honesty really is the best policy.

5. Can be cathartic experience.

Many people assume that divorce is an upsetting business. While it is never easy to bring a marriage to an end, for many the chance to move forward and build a new chapter of their life can be a rejuvenating experience. Usually the clients get happier, stronger and visibly empowered as process goes forward. Above all during the divorce ongoing conflict between parents can affect the children’s mental health, development of social and emotional skills, academic attainment and can impact their ability to form future relationships. It can also damage physical health, lasting through their adult lives into next generation as it starts early. Agreeing to disagree for the sake of the children is very helpful.

 

Alexandra Hirst is a solicitor specialising in family law at Boodle Hatfield. 

PASTOR IS ATHEIST’S SON

Miraculously the son of atheist becomes pastor of the living God, serving Christ Jesus his Master and Saviour. A secular media reported Madalyn Murray O’Hair was that atheist who got Bible reading kicked out of public schools. A national hero to atheist as Supreme Court ruled in her favour in 1963. A year earlier the Supreme Court prohibited government sponsored prayer in schools. And after O’Hair won her case 1964 Life magazine profile referred to her “the most hated woman in America.” Secularists went so far as to say that historic ruling placed U.S. on vanguard of change to morality with rationalism over superstition. She spouted liberal agenda, reporters were willing to overlook murmurings about the psychological abuses towards her children and employees at American Atheists organization. When rumours surfaced of skimming tens of thousands of dollars from non-profit, investigative journalists turned attention elsewhere. The latest gloss on Madalyn mystique applied in Netflix movie portrayed her as a doting mother and dedicated civil rights activist, eldest son said.

Supernaturally, is absolutely a miracle William Murray III knew that the real Madalyn churl who bullied her children bragged to very young about watching X-rated movies was saved. She was an ardent feminist who resented men, Bill says. “One of her favorite stories I have heard her repeat it many times is that when I was born and the doctor told her, ‘It is a boy,’ she asked him if there wasn’t some way he could put it back,” Bill told People magazine. She bit him, smashed his model airplane to pieces in a fit of rage, and ridiculed his attempts to play baseball. She kept a liquor closet full, refrigerator stocked with fattening, unhealthy foods, extolled the virtues of sexual liberty and wrote for the Hustler magazine. She tried to defect to Soviet Union with entire family and supported communist causes, Bill says. As a middle school child in Baltimore, Bill became an unwitting pawn in her 1963 Supreme Court battle against the school prayer. Madalyn sued school district and rode a movement to strike down prayer and Bible reading. With petulant eloquence, tirelessly voiced acrimonious atheism, and media lapped up pretty everything she served. Said, finds Bible nauseating, historically inaccurate, replete ravings of madmen. Finds God sadistic, brutal representation of hatred.”

Madalyn Murray O’Hair on the steps of the Supreme Court with her sons

Johnny Carson, Merv Griffin and Phil Donahue all hosted her on their evening TV programs. Madalyn revels attention. Every misfit in country wrote her letters of praise including generous checks of her non-profit, American Atheists, Bill says. “My mother was evil person, not for removing prayer from America’s schools, no, she was just evil,” Bill wrote online in 2011. Stole huge amounts of money, misused trust of people, cheats children out of parents’ inheritance. She cheated on her taxes and stole from her own organizations.” So Madalyn busied herself with rhetoric, newsletters, fund-raising and publicity,” Bill increasingly disaffected, eloped and divorced, was drafted in the military and worked for an airline. He left his daughter Robin under care of his mother. His second marriage was unraveling had run-ins with police, drifted through struggles, failures so harbours doubts atheistism manifesto. Why did his mother spend non-profit’s money on a new Cadillac and mobile home? Why she sued NASA from airing Astronaut Buzz Aldrin from taking the communion on moon? Why not spend on new X-ray machine for a hospital? If atheism was saviour of modernity why focus on antagonistic role shutting down others? Why not do something in favour of all humanity?

Interestingly started to think is because my mother was basically negative and destructive, he said. Bill turns to alcohol to quash his anxieties and misgivings. Once when police arrived after he had a dispute with his wife, accidentally fired a rifle through door. Bill was charged with aggravated assault and sentenced to five years probation. It was, perhaps, the nadir of his life. The incident served as wake up call. He realized he needed help turned to Alcoholics Anonymous. The support group and a volunteer job at a drug rehab program is where he “found my first awareness of a loving God. I saw some miraculous things people were able to accomplish with faith. And I couldn’t help comparing all that with atheism.” Bill did something his mother would loathe he gave his life to Jesus Christ. He hadn’t spoken to her, however, for years. In 1980 on Mother’s Day, he came out publicly, declaring himself as a Christian. He had not seen his daughter, Robin, in years. When he attempts to call his daughter or brother, hurled insults calling him a traitor and hung up. Bill said, all under a complete control of the monster intoxicated with identity America’s Apostle of Atheism.

With Jon and Robin

Her hubris got worse, her estranged son fired a salvo in favour of Saviour, she launched complete nuclear attack: “One could call this a postnatal abortion on the part of a mother, I guess,” she said, as quoted on Wikipedia. “I repudiate him entirely and completely now and all times, beyond human forgiveness.” Bill’s steps towards Christianity were at first tentative and searching. He didn’t want to line up with any group. But as he studied the Word, he fell in with the Baptists and dedicated his life to undo some of the damage he felt responsible for with his role in the Supreme Court ruling banned Bible reading and prayer. His part played as teenager in removing prayer from public school was criminal he wrote for a newspaper in Austin his mother’s non-profit base and Baltimore where the lawsuit was filed. “I swear on the altar of God that I will strive to right this wrong that I have done. Today, Bill, 70, is a Baptist pastor, and is chairman of the Religious Freedom Coalition, a non-profit in Washington D.C. fighting for rights of Christians in Islamic and communist countries. His printing press produces Bibles in Russia shortly after communism collapsed old Soviet Union. While Madalyn was alive, Bill travelled to cities there speaking engagements to expose her lies at counter-protests. His opposition did not bring Madalyn down.

Eventually her demise came from her own camp when atheists turned against her. Madalyn liked to hire criminals at the American Atheists headquarters in Austin. Bill says she derived pleasure exercising authority over lawbreakers, maybe she felt kinship with flagrant felons. Whatever the case, she had a dim view of the people she hired. Her diaries called her employees “pimps, whores, hopheads, queers, pinkos, drunks, glue-sniffers and freaks.” She was not known to be sweet employer. In 1993, Madalyn hired David Roland Waters, a convicted felon on parole who had killed a teenager over 50 cents of gasoline when he lived in South Africa. Waters started in the print shop and rose to office manager. As investigators later learned, Waters became part of Madalyn’s fraud schemes. He helped print forged stock certificates in a bid to take over a competing more profitable atheistic organization, Bill said. And he embezzled $54,000 from American Atheists. He claimed he siphoned off the money at the behest off Madalyn’s family in a deal where he would keep a part. Only he was convicted. To distance herself from any implication, Madalyn exposed in public newsletter Waters’ criminal past. She included the morbid details of how he beat his mother in 70s with a broom handle abused her body.

Unsuccessfully meanwhile, Madalyn attempted unsuccessfully to take over the wealthier atheist organization run by James Hervey Johnson in San Diego did not work. And so Johnson’s lawyers retaliated with a $7 million lawsuit in 1993 Madalyn feared would lose. And so According to IRS affidavit, Waters was outraged began to voice “fantasies of killing Madalyn” and torturing her by “snipping off her toes,” the Washington Post reported. She began to liquidate assets and transfer finances abroad, according to her employee David Travis. In the Washington Post, Travis said he accidentally opened letter to Madalyn’s son Jon Garth Murray, which reported $1 million in a New Zealand Guardian Trust. Travis and the other employees expected Madalyn, Jon Robin abscond to the South Seas at any moment. So no one was surprised when on August 28, 1995 a typewritten note appeared on a door of American Atheist headquarters one morning before work. It said: “The Murray-O’Hair family has been called out of town on emergency basis. We do not know how long we will be gone at the time of writing of this memo. So the Austin police were not interested in investigating the missing persons report filed by Bill. Only the IRS wanted to find the threesome for fraud schemes.

During first days of the disappearance, Jon and Robin called American Atheist headquarters, were vague and sounded strained but reported family was OK in San Antonio, Texas. They were not OK. Jon, under duress of kidnappers, bought $500,000 worth of gold coins from a San Antonio jeweler, which he turned over in hopes of earning freedom for family. The kidnappers spent (not all of) the money, according to the FBI, IRS and local police. Instead gaining freedom, the Murray-O’Hairs were murdered in a grisly manner. Bill explained on his website: Madalyn “and my daughter were held for almost 30 days, probably tied and gagged, my brother desperately tried to obtain ransom money. At all times my brother was escorted by one of the kidnappers. My brother was total slave to my mother. He saw himself as her provider and rescuer. All his life she had talked down to him and made fun of him and now, in his mind, he would show her his worth by single-handedly rescuing her. He was murdered for his faithfulness.” Waters and 2 accomplices carefully disposed of corpses that they were not found until Waters himself, finally convicted of murders in August of 2000, led detectives to a Texas ranch where he buried mutilated bodies. The Murray-O’Hair atheists disappeared and unaccounted missing aviator Amelia Earhart except decapitated handless body found in a wooded area near the Trinity River outside Dallas in October 1995. The site showed little blood, which indicated dumped not killed there. The corpse was butchered it was intended to never be identifiable by police.

 

Unidentified for three years without face, fingerprints or clothing, the corpse remained A reporter for San Antonio Express-Newshad researched the case for two years when he got anonymous tip after writing an article on the “town-skipping” atheists. The caller said friend disappeared about the same time when he went to see Waters. Knowing Waters an enemy to family, the reporter alerted police. DNA test proved body belonged to Danny Fry, who joined with another convict in Waters’ kidnapping ring. So arrested and convicted for gruesome murders of Madalyn, Jon, Robin. And  “Did Robin pray to receive Christ as she was bound and gagged? Perhaps,” Bill wrote grimly on his website. “Did my mother or brother cry out to the Lord just before they were murdered? I do not know. Christ is there for the vilest offender. The serial killer whose prayer at the hour of his death is genuine is also forgiven. My mother, my brother and my daughter may well await me in heaven. “On the other hand, they may have stood their ground defying God to the end, spending yet another day of eternity in hell. If that is the case I will never see them again. Bill wonders why atheism does not die with his mother, brother and daughter. Deaths of my mother, brother and daughter should make all too clear the need for Christ to others to renounce atheism,” Bill wrote. Those who follow my mother continue to fight against God and His authority. Fools who mock sin face God’s Wrath judgements in Bible in Proverbs 14:8.

Kayla Armstrong in GodReport, studies at the Lighthouse Christian Academy in Westside Los Angeles.

MOVING IN TOGETHER

Moving in and living together is seen as most exciting time ever if a relationship is going well. Often many factors include being closer together because deeply in love and economic reasons. After falling in love the next level is planning future together hopefully for life. The focus of excitement to see it happen absolutely is amazing. You just cannot wait to cook dinner together, feel super domestic, and yeah, maybe you want to show off to friends you not only landed an awesome boyfriend but committing to each other even more. You know that you definitely deserve to be happy about this and even sure you are right because you got far to this point. You may think you can still mess things up or make some mistakes but decides to go ahead anyway. This is often the case for some people when one is totally fixated on these things so your relationship does not end. Researchers find 15 useful points couples must note when moving in together.

1. Thinks Life Stays Same

Many think life at the beginning of their relationship stays in the same romantic phase permanently in state of euphoria. Hence choices and planning of decisions are based on utopia mindset of perfect happiness. Being in love means to them everything harmonises perfectly in state of synchronicity. The truth is anytime a big step is taken in relationship it means things are going to change. It is not a bad thing at all but means you have to admit that something has shifted and there is a new dynamic you need to deal with it. So a lot of couples make the mistake of not thinking anything changes when they decide to live together. Again, it is not anything negative it is just something to keep an eye on. By bringing two lives together essentially each has a different habit when it comes to how you live. So maybe you are a morning person and you kind of annoy everyone but hey, they are jealous and your partner is a total night owl. That means things can change a little bit. You might have to go to bed at separate times or find other times of day to hang out. You have to just figure this out but it’s definitely possible.

2. SuperHigh Expectation

Most relationship definitely face super high expectations of each other some almost humanly impossible. So having super high expectations and partner not meeting them causes anger, frustrations and dissatisfaction. Maybe they do not know what you want them to do so they cannot meet them as they are not mind readers. Maybe they cannot meet them because you want too much and so they cannot give you what you are looking for. Unrealistic expectations can ruin totally or break a relationship. When you move in, you do not want to have crazy high expectations that no sane person could ever meet, let alone the person you love. Many couples make this mistake. They think moving in together totally solves problems in their relationship just for a while but think the negative completely disappears except the very best stuff. It is not real life so not the right way to go. Think of MasterChef with the identical ingredients, scales, cookers, tools, recipe given to a team of professionals. After watching practical demonstration of the exact recipe perfectly made by a gourmet chef their meals never look or taste the same. A certain level of experience and a personal touch always produces better quality. In the same manner, nobody can perfectly replicate exact clone of loved one no matter how deeply in love they may be. Worth noting love alone is not enough to transform anyone overnight into an image of fantasy partner existing inside one’s head. Some people never think anyone is perfect for them so need to create one themselves.   

3. Doing It For The Money

Sometimes it seems a good idea to move into a place together because financially it is a good idea. But you have to make sure you think about this. Just because you find a place that you are absolutely in love with does mean that you should make decision that you can both afford so check long-term if good idea to move in together. First of all, before you decide to live together you need to have a talk with written agreement to ensure you keep up with whatever decisions made. This means that both of you are willing and ready. Often times if you fall in love with a place and think that this is a good idea before taking the necessary steps you will realize that it can cause a whole lot of issues for the two of you. Make sure you are not moving at a faster pace than your relationship is ready for.

4. Respecting Differences

Again, you and your partner might have way more differences than you know and those things only become super- clear after you move in together. You could be a neat freak and they could be furthest thing from that. You must respect fact they thinking you are nagging always on their case to clean up or do dishes, if not you are asking for a major relationship trouble. You have to respect differences and talk about this properly. You can say something like, “Hey, I get it does not bother you if dirty dishes are left in the sink, but I do not love it, so maybe we can take turns.” If they truly love you so hopefully does since you are now living together is a pretty massive step. You, need to understand where both come from to negotiate teamwork and learn to agree to disagree on other differences.

5. Seeing Each Other 24/7

When couples move in together because they want to spend more time together, after already spending time hanging out and staying over at each other’s places they figure out it is time and they might as well live together. It just makes total and complete sense as a really great next step. But if you think moving in with a partner  means that you should see each other 24/7, you are on the wrong track. Yes, you love one another and yes, you want to see each other as much as you possibly can. But you both still need to live your own lives and see your families and see your friends and keep up your hobbies and interests. Do not just drop everything and everyone in your life now because you live with your partner. That is asking for a total disaster. Be honest about how much space you need and do the same partner and family.

6.Nagging & Complaining

Pointing out what is wrong instead of an appreciation of what is right is nagging. Why ignore a 90% strong points to zoom in on 10% weaknesses as long as it is not a risk to life or aggressive behaviour that causes harm or any danger. Be honest are you perfect yourself? Nagging is the projection of self onto others to compel them to behave exactly like you. In other words you want your identical clone to just like you. You already know this is making a total and complete stereotype, so honestly, why would you do this? Do you want your partner to hate you and resent you and eventually leave you? You definitely want to cut this out and soon. A lot of couples make mistake of nagging each other when they move in together, so yes, it definitely goes both ways and guys can do this, too, even if you don’t think so. Your might ask to chill out a little bit about chores and taking care of apartment or might say you are hanging out with your friends too much and nag you about how you need to spend more time at home. Do your best and say you both need to communicate properly and that neither one of you should make the other one feel bad.

7. Both Being Honest

Sometimes couples living together are not totally honest about what they each want. Maybe wants a certain apartment but your partner hates it so did not push for it or vice versa. Is not ideal situation if both move into an apartment and you do not both absolutely adore it, but yeah, it does happen. If you’ve moved in with someone before, you’ve probably made the mistake of not being honest about the kind of living accommodations that you’re looking for, and if you haven’t lived with anyone yet, you definitely will in the future. It is just one of the things that usually happens for good reason to make partner happy so wants the same thing for you, so you tiptoe around this kind of issue and act like everything is totally fine. Until, of course, it all comes crashing down later on always be honest because if not you pay it for it later.

8. Treating As Y/our Place

Avoid mistake of acting an apartment is still totally yours if your partner moved in with you, you are not alone there. The same thing applies if you move into their apartment or you got a totally new place altogether. The truth is a place belongs to both of you now and you definitely have to get used to that. You cannot just invite people over without telling your partner and vice versa, and you cannot decorate it however, cannot randomly rearrange furniture without telling other person. You just cannot unless you want to start a huge argument and then, by all means, go ahead. This is part of what makes living together so new and difficult. It is not all fun and games as there are some real decisions to make with your partner. Even if you take initiative or want to surprise it is good to have approval out of respect not belittle partner. Hopefully, you will get used to realizing you share space now and things will be okay.

9.Being Choosy & Picky

Being choosy, picky and overdemanding in the name of perfection drains partner emotionally. If you refuse to put up any painting your partner’s grandmother had given them or even painted because you claim it is super ugly and does not go with the rest of the apartment decor, you are not only being a jerk but making also a huge mistake. Same goes if actions any favourite pillow means a lot to you, so super attached to it. Many couples make mistake of deciding to live tougher and then getting super picky about furniture and decorations. It is easy to not see the forest from the trees, as they say to care so much about small irrelevant things that you do not realize the big picture of what really matters. The big picture of course, is that you love someone enough to live with them. That is no small thing. Choose safe well-structured wardrobes to use without falling apart easily posing risk especially to small children or infirm in household. Ensure best quality and durable safe bed/rooms, electric, gas pipes checked to ensure safety. Be realistic and do repairs regularly for peace of mind.

10.Housewarming Parties

You want to have a housewarming party when you move into a new place and so desire goes up about a million points as you are moving in with your partner. You want to housewarming party, asking for tons of trouble and do not realize how much this strain on your relationship. The same thing will definitely happen if your partner wants to throw party earlier than you do or tries to control the whole thing. Talk to each other openly honestly about when you both want to throw this party and definitely think plan together the details and costs or clean up after.

11. Being A United Team 

Yeah, you have been living alone for a while now, and even though you’ve been in this happy and serious relationship, you have still had your own space. You could do what you want, when you want, and you made decisions about going to sleep or when to cook or when to clean without having to ask someone else if it  is okay. But now you are part of a team and it is not just your space anymore, so  that is a huge change. A lot of couples make mistake of not acting like they are part of a team now that they moved in together. You cannot just rearrange your entire living room without talking to the partner or decide to retile the bathroom floor without them running it by you first. You have to talk things out and figure them out together. If you do not want to do it this living arrangement might not work neither will relationship.

12.On The Best Behaviour

Yes, of course, you want to be on your best behaviour around other people, but around your romantic partner? Why would not just be yourself to relax a little bit more? A lot of couples think  when they move in together, they should not walk around in ugly sweats anymore or do the things they used to do. But that is a huge mistake and so wrong. You are sharing your life with your partner now, along with your apartment and deserve to be yourself and be real as possible. You can absolutely break out your ugliest sweatpants or slippers and just might become inside joke between two of you, which is totally cool. You should not be afraid to relax and act the way you did before when you just lived alone both do the same thing within reason, of course. You may not want to see the messiest so hopefully can reign it a little bit you two.

13. Fighting Too Much

Some couples move in together and then automatically start fighting too much. The thing is this does not have to happen at all so can absolutely work hard to prevent it. It is easier to fight with someone you see all the time every single day. You expect them to figure things out so there is no reason to tell them exactly what is on your mind but you should be honest all the time. And yes, honesty is a good idea yet there is a fine line between honesty and being kind of mean and cruel. Do not be honest you hurt your partner’s feelings. If you both just share intimacy together but cannot seem stop bickering about little stuff, you need to set some ground rules and boundaries. Talk about how you will divide up chores, domestic stuff like cooking and cleaning. Until you figure that out you will keep fighting so not good for anyone.

14. Expecting Romance

This is a huge mistake lots of couples make, and is a pretty obvious one. Of course, you think things are going to be super romantic 24/7 when actually living with one you love the most in the world. But that does not take into account being sick, being exhausted, being stressed out at work and general life stuff. Moving in together is kind of like getting a taste of what is married life so you definitely will deal with a lot of things you never had to deal with before. You must be open and honest with each other about literally all you are dealing with, whether you want to or not. If you do not sleep together  every single night or have the hottest love life ever, that is not a bad thing. That means your relationship matures as love changes and gets back to normal. A point to remember is libido changes with small children so find new hide outs for timing intimacy passion. You need to be creative as not same as just the two of you before raising family.

15. Have Zero Problems

You cannot have children then expect the home to remain as if you live in a show room because the house is an investment to sell on. Some do not let children sit on sofa, play, roll on floor in living room so raised like little soldier’s in ‘the sound of music.’ Perfect children and families only happily ever after relationship happens in TV drama, Mills and Boon’s romantic novels, real life is warts and all. Couples think once they make important decision to move in together are truly committing to each other so will have zero problems. If things get more complicated when you move in with someone it is normal but, that is not a bad thing at all unless you make it one. Both are own whole people and with your own thoughts, feelings, ideas and you have your own schedules and routines. Those are bound to clash so that is okay. That is what is supposed to happen. Do your best to be patient as the two of you get used to your new living situation and work out the issues within a good frame of time. Just because you are having a bit of trouble getting used to living together does not mean things are heading in a negative direction. Some recommend not moving in together before marriage often it does not work out in favour of the majority   who tried due to lack of commitment. At other times couples need support of the family members and friends to survive. So it is wise in both best interest not to exclude isolate or burn love bridges as you are too deeply involved to make room for any other person. That is too close for comfort so can suffocate the relationship. Above all, God said it is not good to be alone so seek God’s Face to guide and help you build up a sound foundation. Do not let your picker or physical looks attraction be the only deciding factor of relationship. A reliable interdependent relationship nurtures love essential to a mature love. Life is dynamic so changes take place daily in both if children are involved. Create play corner, child space include learning and music. Continue to date once a month minimum and get a baby sitter and do not call every second instead of relaxing with your partner. If possible for stability of children choose a location nearby with schools, church and parks locally. Aim for property longterm so children will not miss out on forming durable friendships and family support. Pay closer attention to household chores like removing rubbish. USD multilayered plastic bags if suitable inlaid with paper to soak wet waste that is not made into compost. Separate to recycle useful gabbage because one man’s thrash is another’s treasure. Keep baby waste out doors in safe covered bins do not breath it indoors including removing cat litter from tray daily for good hygiene practice.

16. Household Duties

Shopping, cooking, laundry and cleaning duties among others must meticulously planned and not left to chance. Both will do certain tasks better so agree and make a to do list to remind yourself if not able to hire a housekeeper to do it for you. A happy life depends on smooth  running of the home and good time schedules as part of a team working together. Simple tips include advance preparation to be ahead of time. A dustbin layered with many bags with disinfectant in between each saves time to remove rubbish. Also clear water closet with clean tissue on top of unflashed loo, push down brush left in during flashing to cut the cost of calling plumber every five minutes. It prevents ungastly sight of a heavy soiling stubborn stains on brush that refuse to be shifted by flashing alone. Persist and repeat process many times until clean for next use. Never let toilet brush directly touch loo instead use tissues to form a barrier to keep the brush clean from harbouring germs and bacteria. After flashing loo, use fresh clean tissue to pick and wipe handle, disinfect brush after cleaning and wash hands thoroughly. Soak brush in a disinfectant  container holding brush in the toilet to continue daily disinfectation. If at first you do not succeed try again to leave brush inside bowl with tissue covering loo and flash but do not stuff lavatory with tissues out of sheer frustration to cost you plumber fees. If not sure what to do leave it with the experts in case it is a pipe blockage elsewhere. Life can be easily managed if you know how.

TO BE HAPPY DO 15 THINGS

TURNING PAIN TO GAIN

God often uses our deepest pain as the launching pad of our greatest calling so pain turns to gain. God turns what the devil meant for evil to good because all things work together for good according to those called by God for His purpose. It is the worst pain or tragedy in life if the perpetrator of pain is the one meant to protect you. Yet contained in pain is an embedded seed of gain for your life and others. It may sound harsh in the midst of pain to think anything good can come out of pain, hurts, grief, loss, sorrow or any heartbreaking event. Worst of all is when suffering endured is caused by loved one or entrusted family member. This was the case of a father who beat and left for dead in the family home, an 11-year-old boy who cried out to God, ‘Why he was born.’ Miraculously over the years God showed the answer to that question and He turned the pain to gain and suffering endured into good in in life just as Romans 8:28 promises. In the book Turning Your Pain into Gain shared with you is principles from Word of God to transform hurting hearts into inner healed heart with peace of God which passes all human understanding. God will do the same for you so this book is must read for anyone suffering abuse, loss, heartbreak and tragedy. God will never give up on you and we don’t want you to give up on God. Get a copy of this powerful book because every one of us endures hardship and pain and suffering because we live in a fallen world and we need to know how to respond. Please get your copy today when you send your gift of $20 or more (was $30) to bless God’s Chosen people through your support of the work of the Jerusalem Prayer Team. I know these truths will help you just as they helped us and many people all over the world. All things work together for good for those called by God according to His Purpose. What the devil meant for evil God turns to good for a testimony of His Glory in Christ Jesus. 

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10 TOP STATEMENTS

GREATLY VALUED BY GOD


God Greatly Values you more than you ever know so once you discover God’s Love for you have inner joy and peace. God blesses through changing situations in life so your focus and attention shifts to listen more to hear God due to unforseen circumstances. Transition creates helpful spiritual growth powerful testimony in Christ defeating devil. What devil means for evil God changes to good turning curses into Blessings for His Glory.  You are greatly beloved by God so as God’s beloved you are greatly Loved. Although God created mankind and breathed His breath in Adam making us living beings, few people know anything about Creator Yahweh Almighty God. The Spirit of the Living God dwells in us sustaining all life and providing for all. Declare you are God’s beloved daily to remind yourself of the Great Love God has for you. Many issues in life may challenge your confidence at times to prove if you truly believe you are God’s beloved. You can truly say you are God’s beloved to triumph in Victory according to 1 Corinthians 15:56-57. Jesus overcame sting of death and sin thanks to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. God’s beloved bless many more people to confirm and reinforce what Bible says that a person’s quality of life, value and worth to God does not consist of, or depend on owned material possessions. God’s beloved appreciate God’s real Love deeply through Jesus’ Blood so enter Our Father God’s Presence boldly.
Its not status, titles, postcodes, size of bank balance, clothing labels, type of plane, ship, cars owned, price tags of homes, designer bags, shoe designs, technology. The world is filled with idols wealth, fame, power, position, money, work, sexual relations, stars, celebrities, sports, even relationships.  These desires as priority tend to put our trust and confidence in things or people to help meet those desires. Pride in the strength of trophy wife, marriage or any thing chosen above God HURTS God like betrayed husband or wife by unfaithful spouse. Only God is absolutely worthy of Worship as HIS Desires for us are pure and holy. God of LOVE becomes intimately involved in the affairs of mankind to save, rescue, redeem, and deliver.  This is the God who is worthy of our love and devotion and no one else. So anything placed first in lives other than God is idolatry for God Says HE IS jealous God. Do not feel pain or sadness because you lack material things and so think you are nobody in life. Others treat you badly because you outwardly does not fit into exclusive class gaithered community. Attention given to material things by man as “great” is considered “chaff” or “dung” according to God in Bible because of how aquired. Precious memories gained knowing God in Christ is PRICELESS GREAT TREASURE the wise “sell all” to “buy it” in Jesus who bought us with His Precious Blood redeem us.

Lterally get rid of all junk negative thoughts and things. The word of God reveals rightly things in itself does not add value to life though improves the quality of life for a season. Bless others if not needed get rid of the excess material possessions. As one’s trash is another’s treasure give to support all considered less fortunate. Godly Love gives, blesses, transforms renewed minds to free self from heavy burdens of vanity. Release yourself from the pressures and cares of these lost world into God’s Kingdom. Getting hold of the God’s Great Truth gives liberty in Christ as best priceless treasure bringing inner joy and peace. Things of this world will soon pass away but God’s Word will stand forever and eternally in Jesus Name. Rejoice in the LORD and study God’s Words as a faithful disciple of Christ. Jesus coming soon in rapture and after restore earth. The Kingdom of God is being established throughout living history and the world is watching demolition of evil to bring in restoration of God’s Perfect Peace, Reign by Son of God Yeshua Messiah KING of Kings and Lord of lords. So be ready and prepared to join in God ‘s Kingdom for eternity on earth. Israel will be saved by the LORD with an everlasting salvation; and all grafted in will never be put to shame or disgraced to ages everlasting in Jesus Name according to Isaiah 45:17.