HOLY KISS GREETING & HUGS

article-2071835-0F1BBF8E00000578-716_634x422In Romans 16:16 in the Bible Paul wrote in New Testament commanding believers to make contact or touch others with a warm smile, hand-clasp and a friendly hug. Paul encouraged the congregation and church members to give each other a hug, a touch as a sign of unity to greet each other with a holy kiss and hugs. And speak through the Psalms as people quote Shakespeare to share favourite lines in literature. The Pentecostals often greet each other with kisses and hugs. Visitors are welcomed this way so if the new members are not used to such a way of greeting they can feel innaudated and intimidated by the zealous members embracing or kissing them if not used to an intimate way of expressing agape love. Recently, in the church a female pastor rushed towards a new male visitor and proceeded to try to hug him as she does for many years. But the new member raised both his hands to indicate, ‘do not touch me or come too close.’ It surprised everyone as it had never happened before. Maybe others out of politeness and courtesy tolerate it or probably just go along with kisses or hugs, but no one ever rejected it before. It is perfectly understable if some people feel uncomfortable and say no, it does not mean rejection of the one expressing such Biblical principles. On other occasions, for security reasons, important leaders are not allowed to be touched or hugged under any circumstances. Of course that scenario can happen in church gatherings so if not sure, ask if it is alright to do so. 22CULTURALSTUDIES1-jumbo.jpgIn some places female to female hugs and kisses are preferred or handshakes encouraged. But the woman must first extend her hand to a man because the man is not allowed to shake a married women’s hands in some cultures. On the other hand there are countries that see kiss or hugs as prerogative of diplomacy so must be done. In some churches women are only allowed to kiss and hug other women as men kiss and hug the men. In an age of legal homosexuality, lesbian partnerships or marriages the churches in favour has no problems or prefer handshakes. However is common in the workplace to encourage hugging for bonding and a sense of belonging. But how about those people in the offices who do not like to be kissed or bugged publicly at least at awkward moments. You are greeting someone or saying goodbye. Should you give that person a hug? Especially if it’s someone you don’t know well? You do not want to seem intrusive if you hug too soon, but you don’t want to appear overly stiff or too formal so you offer a handshake when a hug is expected. So what should you do? There a few good rules about hugging in our society.article-2148121-133B0FA3000005DC-582_468x309On one hand, Americans are famously informal and forthright. On the other hand, our nation has puritan roots so we are known for needing more personal space than other cultures. How do you strike a balance? Here are some guidelines to start from, many of which come from etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore, author of Poised for Success.

1. Mind body language.

With hugs, as with kisses, another person’s body language will tell you whether he or she is willing to accept a hug or not. Before you go in for that squeeze, pay attention to what the person’s position, movement, and facial expression is telling you. Are the feet pointed toward you or away? Is the person leaning in, or distancing him or herself? What does your gut feeling tell you this person wants? When people offend others with a hug, it’s most often because they just barge right in and don’t stop to get a read on what other person wants. Don’t make that mistake. Children are now being taught to meet and greet properly to learn etiquette. t1larg (1).jpg

2. Ask Permission First.

If you want to hug someone, you think it welcomes you if not sure just ask. “May I give you a hug question indicates both affection, respect so likely appreciated. The only down side to this if people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable saying no. So if getting a negative or uncertain vibe do not even asking the question.

3. The Balance of Power.

A boss hugging an employee is a very different matter from two business associates hugging at the conclusion of a meeting. Be extra reserved about hugging if it can in any way seem like you’re using your power to disrespect another person’s boundaries. This is one reason Joe Biden recently drew so many criticisms for his putting his hands on  a cabinet member’s wife during swearing in ceremony.

4. Consider the occasion.

If you haven’t seen a colleague in a long time, or you’ve just gone through a powerful training or other experience together, or you’re at acelebration, then hugging might well be appropriate. The same may apply if the person in question has just had a piece of very good, or very bad news, or is struggling to deal with a difficult situation. On the other hand, if you routinely see this person and nothing special is going on, then a hug probably isn’t warranted.LXNGDEDJXOCNTOWYIIGFSDIU

5. Avoid mixing hug & non hugs.

You’re greeting a group of people, some of whom you know well and others whom you know only slightly or have just met. Do you hug some but not others? No, Whitmore advises. Shake hands with everyone to be consistent avoid making some feel uncomfortable or left out.

6. Keep it short.

A hug can go from natural to awkward if you keep it going for too long. So make your hugs brief. Whitmore recommends a duration of no more than three seconds.

7. Don’t hug if contagious

The last thing you want to do is give your colleague a cold, or catch one from him or her. So if you’re uncertain about your own health, or the other person seems to be fighting an infection, stick to a handshake at most, although not touching at all is probably safest. You can always say that you’re avoiding touch out of concern that you might spread something you’ve been exposed to if you are really afraid of catching something from other person.kissing-in-costa-rica-2

8. Don’t hug if not clean.

Let’s say you’re meeting on a very hot day, and you’ve gotten sweaty on your walk over from the parking lot. Or you’ve had a workout and returned to work but didn’t have time to shower. Or you’ve been out at a site visit and gotten grimy. In those circumstances, avoid hugging. The last thing you want to do is gross someone out.

9. Err on not hugging.

If you’re not sure whether a hug would be welcome, and you don’t think it’s a good idea to ask, then don’t hug. You’ll almost never offend someone with a handshake.

10. Cease the right moment.

In spite of all these caveats, I’m still a believer in the power of human contact. So if you feel like a hug is warranted and none of the obstacles above apply, I say go for it. I once met a business contact face-to-face for the first time after we’d been working together for several years. I felt like I knew him, and he seemed to feel the same, because at our first meeting, he greeted me with a hug. I was surprised, but happily so. During that brief meeting we talked more about our lives than about business and by the time I left, I had a human relationship to go with the emails and voice on the phone. That hug was a great way to start.

PREVENTING DEMENTIA

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One in three cases of dementia could be prevented if more people looked after their brain health throughout life, according to an international study in the Lancet. It lists nine key risk factors including lack of education, hearing loss, smoking and physical inactivity. The study is being presented at the Alzheimer’s Association International Conference in London. By 2050, 131 million people could be living with dementia globally. There are estimated to be 47 million people with condition at the moment.agy-szkenner-1050x846


9 facts of dementia risk

  • Mid-life hearing loss – responsible for 9% of the risk
  • Failing to complete secondary education – 8%
  • Smoking – 5%
  • Failing to seek early treatment for depression – 4%
  • Physical inactivity – 3%
  • Social isolation – 2%
  • High blood pressure – 2%
  • Obesity – 1%
  • Type 2 diabetes – 1%

DTI_white_matter_tracks_sThese risk factors – which are thought to be modifiable – add up to 35%. The other 65% of dementia risk is beyond the individual’s control. Source: Lancet Commission on dementia prevention, intervention or care. Though dementia is diagnosed in later life, brain changes usually begin to develop years before,” said lead author Prof Gill Livingston, from University College London. “Acting now will vastly improve life for people with dementia and families and, in doing so, will transform the future of society.” The report, which combines the work of 24 international experts, says lifestyle factors can play a major role in increasing or reducing an individual’s dementia risk. It examines the benefits of building a “cognitive reserve”, which means strengthening brain’s networks so it can continue to function in later life despite damage.Eve Laird

Image captionEve Laird is taking part in a study on how to prevent dementia

Eve Laird, from Dumfries, is worried about dementia because her mum is living with the condition. She decided to make some changes to her lifestyle. “I’m terrible for eating processed foods and takeaways and I’ve really been trying to cut back on that.”I definitely drink a lot more water than I used to – and I don’t drink as much coffee now. “I actually took part in the Edinburgh marathon. For that I joined the Dumfries running club – I go there once a week.” She says she felt so much better for the exercise, and for improving her diet. “I felt a lot healthier and mentally sharper as well. It’s something I’d really like to continue, but it is hard to stay on track.” “I just think the small changes can make such a big difference.”Graph on forecast of dementia growth globallyFailure to complete secondary education was a major risk factor, and the authors suggest that individuals who continue to learn throughout life are likely to build additional brain reserves. Another major risk factor is hearing loss in middle age researchers say this can deny people a cognitively rich environment and lead to social isolation and depression, which are among other modifiable risk factors for dementia. Another key message from the report is that what is good for the heart is good for the brain.brainome

‘Positive changes’

Not smoking, doing exercise, keeping a healthy weight, treating high blood pressure and diabetes can all reduce the risk of dementia and cardiovascular disease, and cancer. The researchers say they did not have enough data to include dietary factors or alcohol in their calculations but believe both could be important. Dr Doug Brown, director of research at Alzheimer’s Society, said: “Though it’s not inevitable, dementia is currently set to be the 21st Century’s biggest killer. We all need to be aware of the risks and start making positive lifestyle changes.” Dr David Reynolds, chief scientific officer at Alzheimer’s Research UK, said: “Alongside prevention research, we must continue to invest in research to find a life-changing treatment for people with this devastating condition.”

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What measures are you taking to prevent dementia? Let us know about your experiences. Email haveyoursay@bbc.co.uk with your stories.

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5 FREE GIFTS FOR SPOUSES

wife1. Giving hugs is essential to keep love flame alive so give your spouse hugs daily. Hugs are fast disappearing in marriages today. It has been researched hugging is one of the emotional needs of all human being. It is scarcity of spousal hug that makes many men hug ladies not their wives indiscriminately. Many women crave for hugs and they allow every Tom Dick and Harry to hug them because their husbands are not giving them hugs. In the morning or at night, let no day pass without hugging your spouse. It is a valuable you must give your spouse. It could be welcoming hug, a goodbye hug, appreciation hug, affirmative hug. Hugging is non-verbal means of communication so use it well. Do not let your husband or wife crave hug from strangers when you are alive. Hug passionately! Hug romantically. A married couple is generous to all except their spouses​. These 5 things you should give your spouse daily. These are not weekly, monthly, annual giving. They are things you must give spouse daily. Let us see them. Give your spouse a touch: One of the ways to bond with spouse is touch of encouragement, affirmation touch, healing touch, apology touch and sexual intimacy touch. Study your partners and know what touch to give at a particular time. If you want God to touch your marriage, touch your spouse. Do not let day without kissing your partner.

83f6ebfa0be41f0f20e5dd93e6e1adaabacfaad82. Give your spouse a smile: God smiles on a home when couples smile at each other. A smile is a way of telling your spouse, ‘You delight me’, ‘Your presence amuses me,’ ‘I am pleased with you’. Frowning at your spouse is not a thing that should last a whole day. One of the way to know your marriage is cold is when you are not SMILING with each other. Smile. It is one of the best gifts you can give your spouse in a day. I love to smile a lot and I love to see my Queen smile. I do not like people who are not generous with their smile. It is free. You do not need to pay for smiles. Just relax your muscles and smile. Couples, smile, keep smiling! To prevent your marriage going cold keep smiling with spouse.Picture-23. Give your spouse a call/ chat: Some people can chat with all the contacts on their phones & all the friends on their friends list on Facebook. But they never chat or call their spouse throughout​ the day. Chatting or calling your spouse in a day at work is a way of saying, ‘Dear, despite my busy schedule, I have you in mind. I am thinking about you’. Make sure you send a chat, or give a call to your spouse today. Make it a daily thing. Nobody is tired of receiving a caring chat or a call from someone they love.

publication_249679_img54c52dafa3b0e7fb78709e5ce3a9b394.png4: Give your spouse the gift of Peace of mind. A home is the end-point of every thing we do daily. Let me explain it this way. If a doctor you cannot sleep in the hospital all the days of your life. You will need to come home. If you are an engineer, you cannot sleep in the site all days. If a lawyer you cannot sleep in the bar all days. As a pastor, you cannot be in the Church 24/7. We all must go back home. Home is the end point. So, if your spouse is excited to come home, it must be a peaceful home. So stop the nagging, fighting, insulting, abuse, threatening, behaviour and humiliating your spouse. Give him rest of mind. Give your wife rest of mind. Be the head of your wife not the headache of your wife. Madam, be wife and not ‘knife’ to your husband. Blessed are the couples that give each other peace of mind daily! Give your spouse Space. As much as you need to bond with spouse together for intimacy communication, affection, planning, etc. you need to give your spouse space. So make time for couple’s prayers, time for couples bonding, time for own personal prayer, personal meditation, personal rest, personal planing, etc. Do not be too close for comfort to choke your spouse. Do not be over possessive and also over demanding to spouse. Stop unnecessary policing and monitoring. Give spouse a space they need when they need it.4718801-friday-prayer-quotes5: Give your spouse prayer no matter how wealthy or highly connected you are, there are things you can not do for your spouse. You are limited. One of the ways to show love to your spouse is to commit him/her to the unlimited God. Say word of prayer for your spouse daily. Other things may fail and may not work. But no force withstands power of prayer. You cannot heal your spouse, only God can heal him/her. You cannot lengthen the days of your spouse. Only God can do that. You cannot save your spouse. You cannot take away addiction and evil habits from your spouse , only God can do that for him/her. Pray to God. Mention name of your husband / wife to God. As a man, you are the priest of your family, lay your hands on your wife or hold her hands and say a word of prayer to her life. It is a major gift couples have to give each other. Blessed is the wife whose husband gives a gift of prayer daily and vice versa. Pray for your spouse if you do not want him/her to become a prey in the hand of devil. All these 5 things you must give your spouse daily are very easy, simple, free and important. Put them on your ‘to-do-list’. Do not forget to give it. Remember, givers never lack any good thing. If you give your spouse all these, I can assure you that, there is a high assurance that you will get it back in return to make your joy full. Love your marriage as joy of your family is your priority. Bless all family members and thank God daily in Jesus Name through the Holy Spirit.

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© Ebenezer Diyaolu

CHILDREN ARE NOT DOLLS

vlfdcToday’s news report is full of children harmed or killed by many tragic accidents purposefully orchestrated or unintended by someone seething due to jealousy of affection given the children. Such people forget infant’s life requires sacrifices of parents, loved ones, carers who endure to ensure children thrive in life. Their parents went without basic necessities in life, food so they survived. After growing up they feel reluctant to do the same for their own children or step children. There are many blended families doing a great job looking after children and fantastic at it. They deserve recognition and congratulations though not seeking praise for excellent job done daily. Against the backdrop of great parenting is trend of children seen and treated as inconvenient intrusion into ‘perfect happiness’ of dysfunctional families. 980d9a8dac0ead3b5cb8e562bc98d80bSuch people, playing superficial happy family fantasize about having children to ‘seal their love’ but discover shock of changes to their relationship after birth of children. This adds on to stress of an already disorganized family affected at times by influence of drugs or computer games. Such parents blame each other or shift the responsibility of caring and discipline styles, cause more stress and infighting. Meanwhile the children internalize effects of chaos caused by immature people in toxic relationships unfit to raise children. Resentful with regret of their decision to have children cannot opt out. Children caught up in the middle of strife endure life worse at times due to alcohol or selfish actions of parents vying for affection at the cost of children’s lives. Some children cry for hours and given calpol for headaches but parents offended if the child laughs. It seems the parents feel satisfied when the child cries but tells child off if seen as happy and cheerful. Modern living isolates couple further without support network required for respite care of children to give the parents a break. The parent not from poor background, well-brought up can be victim of success if over indulged without consideration for others or own children and family. May grow up with sense of entitlement so receive attention without giving back to others. Demand more attention as grown up in charge of own family. Competes with children for attention so never emotionally secure.wayne-dyer_children-erichuber-comSurprisingly, such parents lack awareness or previous experience of babysitting children 24/7. Totally unprepared  for childcare needs of children they bear or take care of. In the past, schools designed practical living skills of housekeeping, cooking, sewing, cleaning, ironing, childcare as part of curriculum in education. So the young people were trained in hands on real life practical experience life skills to equip them for family life. In addition, extended family in the vicinity living together enhance family experiences of children. Despite family hardships or lack of material trappings of modern living children are nurtured to live in a healthy way. Issues of paedophiles or abuse may exist but at least there was someone in the family who children genuinely rely on in time of emotional need for their support. The attitude of some parents is they think they ‘own’ their children so cause pain to child. And those helping giving real happiness to their children viewed as encroaching, undermining, overriding, imposing threat to them. Additionally, children without FRONTAL CORTEX do not wilfully intend to cause an offence deliberately to hurt parents. Children’s BRAIN NOT FULLY grown or developed do not fully UNDERSTAND adult world.quote-Charlotte-Davis-Kasl-a-life-long-blessing-for-children-is-to-21784Creating good and happy memories in children is treasured in the heart for life of the children. Mimicking adults seems they understand issues but incapable of the maturity of adults. This is the reason why God entrusts the children into the safe adult hands as parents or stewards to look after them. Adult is REPONSIBLE to ensure child’s needs are met, well-fed healthy foods, trained to make sense of environment, given a spatial awareness to relate to others in interactive ways to build up confidence. A child cannot be blamed or accused of being responsible for coming into world to ruin parent’s life. If adult not ready to sacrifice their life at least 30 years to raise children, use protection to prevent conception. Children are for life and not only for Christmas displays. Some think children will enhance them by having them for wrong reasons. A fractured, disjointed society today focus on external material things at the expense of healthy organic nurturing safe atmosphere surrounded by family and friends. Yet nature and nurture are both vital components to accomplish a balanced upbringing of children’s lives. The shift of emphasis on gadgets, technology, high-tech and high strung high-maintenance intense stress, pressure and atmosphere is not really conducive for children. Attention on the external shoe costs and designer labels to wear and expensive clothes or toys above emotional needs of the children. Damage or loss of items becomes bone of contention in anger beats the child to pulp and causing tragic death. The other children are killed by computer gamers who feel distracted from their addictive games by the children requiring nappy change or food. Again tensions of credit crunch play role in frustrating parents stuck with children without proper jobs. Recent rate of fatalities of the children’s death toll is needlessly rising.5c50ba8d0995fc2295ff172d6eccfa6fUnacceptable levels further exasperated by children having children without the FRONTAL CORTEX BRAIN themselves to UNDERSTAND risk and consequences of their actions on delicate tender body of babies and children. Dangerous attacks of children by jealous lovers or parents fester without dealing with the build up of uncalled for anger towards innocent children. Unfortunately some children become victims destroyed by the naive immature jealous partner who in turn destroys own lives in the process. It is sad the family is ruined by adults who wants to raise children as little soldiers. They DO NOT ALLOW CHILDREN TO BE THE HAPPY LITTLE CHILDREN HAVING FUN, LAUGHING, PLAYING WITHOUT A CARE in the world. It is a right of every child to be allowed a proper discipline and corrected in a safe manner within their age range meaningful to the child. A child cannot be treated as a grown up adult in terms of relating deep thoughts to a child. Of course precocious children display maturity, genius beyond some adults but is exception than the norm. God ordained mothers to carry babies as first natural teachers of children so more tolerant and patient than some men. Going against nature to demand mothers abandon children to wo/men INCAPABLE of raising their children contributes to damage of children. Some parents feel ashamed and embarrassed to EXPRESS dark emotions or thoughts to others to get help to deal with their own childhood issues projected on that innocent child. Anger is major cause of such parents who vent on the innocent children bearing brunt of frustrations in their life. Such parents act like if they did not have a happy childhood then the child cannot have one. Of course they cannot give what they do not have so get help to allow children to enjoy their innocent years. Build up good memory and stop tyrants scarring children for life to damage them. A lot of children of this generation have a lot of superficial material needs met but hurting deeply by the lack of proper attention required. Oxytocin hormone CALMS children by hugging the child so gains parental love much more priceless than a temporary material joy happiness. Oxytocin is very necessary for the child’s development so healthy contact of a child is essential. Issue of paedophiles is ruining genuine affection for children treated as robot machines. Hugging the child is viewed with suspicion so many steer clear from it but do not hesitate to inflict pain on same child in moment of madness due to anger. A child is for life so before you have the child think twice of long-term time sacrifices of not going to parties, pubs, discos, travelling alone, sleepless nights for feeding or nappy changes. Get help from trusted family members, and friends, loved ones or good neighbours. children-are-not-dolls-they-are-not-toys-to-dress-up-and-show-off-theyre-real-people--95047Talk to GP to arrange talking therapy or with people in parent’s and child groups to learn how to cope better, ask friends to support you. Do not dump anger or rage on your innocent loving children. Children cannot express their internal damage to organs from assaults by the adults. Modern dolls have a computer link to reveal manhandling by a person entrusted with the doll. Unfortunately children do not have such mechanisms displaying internal bleeding by bashing against walls, shaking babies, fractures broken bone, internal bleeding swelling go unnoticed until final straw ends in a fatality. Yet millions desperately want children but cannot have them due to many reasons. So count your blessings, invest TIME to train child so they grow up and not depart from it. Routine is essential to raising children so set up a flexible dynamic time schedule for the children. Time to sleep and wake up is necessary for toddlers for brain growth and development. Lunch at 12 noon and naps between 1pm to 3 pm for toddlers. The adults quickly prepares supper and dry laundry, clean up ready for children to wake up. Children play, eat at 5-6pm, bath at 7p.m ready for bed after reading at 8 pm. Adults between 8:30pm till 12 midnight have enough hours to wind down, date in home, set up romantic meal, eat, talk, watch TV, play computer games, get someone trusted and reliable to watch children to go to cinema, meal, and sleep by 1 am latest. A disciplined routine helps children to settle down better. It is good to maintain the routine even during holidays because it is harder to get back established routine after mixed messages confuse children. Children always remember those who genuinely love and care for them. And discuss with partner if you feel left out or displaced by children at appropriate time. Set up routine for both to continue to date, be in love after marriage and children. Do not go on an autopilot identifying with one child and pitching against each other as opposing teams. Children grow so fast you can do anything in your life after they fly the nest. It is never too late to learn to take up any unfinished business later after children come along into your life. You can relearn and adapt to use new skills online for web jobs, create blog, give hope to others, encourage and support others in similar situations. For God Sake never blame children for ruining your life or future because you are the ones who chose not to use the appropriate contraception. Even if child unexpected accept, love child unconditionally. Use playful interaction like Sound of Music film to help appreciate the children and they remember you when you are old. Remember you are accountable to God WHO records in BOOK of life treatment of children’s lives.

BE HAPPY IN YOURSELF

Be happy in yourself and do not blame others because life is not only about you exclusively to demand always a 24hour self-centred attention from others who love you. A trend of right to entitlement to be happy at expense of others causes problems in families, society of online. The happiness demanding attention is ruining relationships. Some demand a nonstop unrealistic pressure from loved ones all moments be spent only with them day or night. So time taken to do things or working to provide for them is considered ‘dehumanizing neglect’ for not catering always for them only. Onus of their life is always shifted to others to become totally responsible for them. So like emotional babies, do not realise that growing up means taking a full responsibility for actions. Therefore permanently blame others for problems of their lives or for being born in wrong the environment to undesired parents whose fault made them as they are. Do not put all the anger, and bitterness on those who care about you most. As long as they receive help from everyone at all times without need to help others they feel fine.58216d1a9df4cedf435f5d8a037d7cc4 Dare others ask them to be patient or to wait for their turn often become angry or agitated throwing things at people or breaking things to hurt owners. These behaviour often starts from tantrums of terrible twos not corrected by their innocence not to offend them. Some sulk and cry for hours on end or, develop headaches from crying so cycle is repeated over and over again. A bad upbringing ranges from the spectrum of lack of discipline, correction, ADHD or autism not diagnosed early taking its toll into adulthood. Pride, ego, defiance, anti establishment becomes the norm so used to getting own ways for too long. A genuine effort to support and help them seen as intrusion although often naive of the outcome of their actions. Most of the time the very family considered not good enough for them end up picking up the pieces of their trail of damage to others. Always in denial of reality never aware of effects of their behaviour on a family, relatives, friends or children. In extreme cases traumatize or hurt others incapable of understanding risks or the consequences of an action in advance before it happens. Constantly operate in high-strung emotion demand that those around them always walk on egg shells. Unaware792e6019ecd1c629c0ad3c773ee524ca of social rules etiquette unable to tolerate if attention or a conversation is not only about them. So emotionally draining others yet complaining about lack of attention from those doing their best to live with them. Underlying this state of mind is influence of the liberal views of deception that they are their own self-made people unaccountable to nobody so must depend exclusively only on their own ideas, feelings choices egos without recognising impact effect of damage in hurting others. If not dealt with grow into megalomania, tyrants in extreme cases never content with their lot in life. Always want more and more beyond realistic expectations or available resources in life. Suck others dry but still moan about not being given enough attention. Emotionally draining accurately described ‘manic behaviour of such a person does not understand brain function process of information or instructions properly in the interest of the good of all others. be-happyUnhappiness causes bile toxic chemicals to affect mood swing, sugar withdrawal symptoms, substance abuses affecting genetics of children from some parents, alcohol, poor communication skills, lack of maturity, background experience that intrude into adult years if unchecked. Other times consequence of their sheer pathological wickedness stems from the habitual actions since childhood. Sadly, in schools, emphasis is more on a head knowledge more than personal growth development and emotional maturity required for a longterm living. Another factor is the attitude of certain men seen as powerful if they are rebellious to authority. Some ‘success’ sometimes equated to a bully who tramples over all others bulldozed their way to achieve their goal, be it on corporate ladder, or in family, church, abusers manipulate or attack those who stand up to them. 57c69b8d9a2cff284ba95ed892061acaIt is predicted in Bible by Jesus during the end time lawlessness will abound as such people become more haughty, and disobedient to authority hate discipline, lovers of self more than Lovers of God, high minded ever learning but unable to grasp truth. So cannot understand basic rules, respect, consideration for others. Always insists on their way or no way, self-destruct snapping because they refuse to help or correction to save them from themselves. Truth hurts but God says His people are destroyed for lack of proper Godly knowledge and proper understanding of daily roles in relation to others on Earth. Confusion today in society and wars come from inability to compromise or to put others first. Some insist their way is only way manipulate or force others put under pressure but indulge without listening or valuing others due to greed, love of money, fear. Worse of all undergirding greed motives spur them on to destroy others for their selfish gains. It is well-known in  living history many lives destroyer by not living and let live lifestyle agreement to agree to disagree to live in peace chucked out of window.

METRO THE HORSE PAINTS

ht_meteor_horse_painting_ll_130925_33x16_1600Metro was once a well-known racehorse but it looked as though ill health would soon mean the end for Metro. Then his artist owner Ron, had an unusual idea. It is said that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. So when Ron Krajewski first introduced his horse, Metro, to an easel there was no guarantee he would paint. After all, this horse had been struggling with health problems since he was adopted by Ron and his wife in 2009. Metro had once been a successful racehorse as Metro Meteor he won eight races and $300,000 (£234,000) prize money at prestigious Belmont Park. However, he was retired by his stable after bone chips in his knees caused permanent damage. “We were looking for a horse Wendy could ride and probably quite naive,” Ron says. “We soon discovered Metro had worse race injuries than we had bargained for,” Ron says.Metro ridden in a race (left) and receiving treatment for his knees (right)

Metro had many months of rehab and medication after Metro Meteor won eight races in his career, but it took a toll on his knees horse shoes helped for a time, but in 2012 X-rays revealed his knee joints were closing up. A vet said they would lock up within two years, at which point Ron and Wendy would have to put their horse down. “I didn’t just want to put him out to pasture and forget about him. I was thinking about how we could spend time together,” Ron says. He had noticed that his spirited horse liked to bob his head to get attention and pick things up in his mouth. A professional artist himself, Ron wondered if he could convince Metro to hold a paintbrush. “I taught him to touch his nose to the canvas for horse treats, then to hold a paint brush,” Ron says.Metro tackles the canvas assisted by RonMetro tackles canvas assisted by Ron paints left to right. He could have just touched the paint brush to the canvas and then dropped it and that would have been the end of it. Luckily for us he started making up and down strokes and seemed to enjoy it. So Metro was soon creating works that Ron judged were good enough to put on sale at a local gallery. First 4 paintings sold out the week put on display and Metro’s unbridled style has been compared to Jackson Pollock, a painter famous for his splatter and drip technique. Metro’s brush strokes are nothing a human can make, because he doesn’t think about what he will do before he does it. His strokes are thick random or sometimes broken, which lets other colours show through. It all just vibrates on the canvas,” Ron says. Metro’s unusual ability caught the attention of local TV news in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, and his story was picked up nationwide. By 2014, there were 150 people on a waiting list for his works.Metro at an easel out in a field

4ac8d8bcfe1d3eb8efb32701f8ea52abSales of paintings help fund new experimental treatment for Metro. Ron sometimes set up an easel for Metro to paint outside. The vet created technique to apply a drug called Tildren directly to his knees. “Within a few months X-rays showed the bone growth had receded. It has added years to his life,” Ron says. So Ron and Wendy keep Metro and their other horse, Pork Chop, at a stable four miles from their home. They visit them about five days a week and two of those Ron and Metro have a painting session.Metro (left) with his friend Pork Chop in the snowMetro (left) and Pork Chop, Metro has got a little section in the barn that we call his studio. It’s all set up ready for him to paint,” Ron says. “I did try to get Pork Chop to paint once, but he just wasn’t interested.” Ron acts as both art director and assistant. He picks the colour and loads paintbrush before handing it over. Metro then makes the strokes. “I always stand on his left so he paints from left to right. If I hand him the brush in upper right hand corner, that’s where he will go.”Pork Chop takes an interest in Metro's workPork Chop watches Metro working, Ron and Metro work on 3 or 4 canvases at once during a 20-minute session. “We will spend two minutes on one canvas and then swap it for another. He tends to smear things together so we’ll do some blues and then let it dry, then let’s say some orange. This builds up the layers.” Metro, who Ron says has an “A-list extroverted personality”, is in his element at the easel. “I can put out the easel in the field and he will stop eating grass and stand right in front of it. “He loves to paint. I’m not sure how much he can see as horses have a blind spot right in front of their noses. I think he likes feel of running brush on canvas.”Three paintings by MetroMetro’s large paintings, Metro’s large paintings sell for a few hundred dollars. Like Metro, art was not Ron’s first vocation. Raised in a fishing family that caught salmon in Alaska he went on to serve in the US Air Force. He became a professional artist at the age of 40. “I mainly do pet portraits, which are very lifelike and controlled. When I paint with Metro it’s the opposite. You can’t predict what he’s going to do when he gets the brush in his mouth. It is controlled chaos. Metro’s paintings continue to sell well. “We have different sizes that vary in price from $50 to $500. We’re selling one or two a week,” Ron says. Ron and Wendy donate half of Metro’s earnings to a charity called New Vocations, which retrains and rehomes former race horses. So far they have donated $80,000 (£62,000), which will have helped 50 to 60 other horses. And now at 14 years it seems Metro has no inclination to slow down. “There is something about painting which really interests Metro,” Ron says. “I don’t think he’ll ever get tired of it.”

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HOW TO EAT BETTER

 james wong

This interesting and educational book by James Wong reveals the facts behind the nutrition hiding within our garden produce, with facts backed by science rather than fiction. In it, James Wong reveals not only the best produce to eat to obtain certain vitamins but also the best way in which to eat them, from lightly cooked plum tomatoes with a drizzle of olive oil to how to prepare a chilli. James Wong tells us a bit about his past and to find out more about what How To Eat Better is all about.c447140e6c24fc011bf5faa2e07464f7

James Wong is often asked what first made him interested in plants. In fact he gets asked this question so often by taxi drivers, journalists and mates down the pub so comes to expect it as a given. Funnily enough, this kind of question is one my football-mad brother has never, ever been asked about his passion. So it seems almost as if dedicating your life to studying what many non-geeks see as just a leafy, green backdrop to everyday life is considered surprising. Yet to him is a lifelong plant obsessive, what I find surprising is quite the opposite. I just can’t understand why everyone isn’t as fascinated by plants as him. Whether we are aware of it or not, plants still underpin the food we eat, medicines we take, the air we breathe. Everything from our basic anatomy, to our most deeply hard-wired instincts are direct result of collaboration with the plants. Therefore understanding plants is key to understanding who we are. james wong

James Wong How To Eat Better – published by Mitchell Beazley, £20 http://www.octopusbooks.co.uk

How does Wong gather research for your books to ensure reliable facts?
Well, starts by trawling through peer-reviewed studies in scientific journals to find promising leads. Of course, sound science is all about reproducibility, this does require quite an exhaustive search and some pretty late nights! So findings from one study needs to be reflected by a good number of other papers before it can be deemed reliable. Scientists look at a body of research as a whole when drawing conclusions not just individual papers. For last two books the number of papers read is well into thousands, which is why it takes so long to research and write each new book. Always works with other experts to peer review all the findings and give much-needed second or third pair of eyes to query and fact check. For example, previously worked with the RHS heads of horticulture and science to review the entire text of his gardening books. For book worked with a brilliant doctor in nutritional science.James Wong

The most surprising interesting thing learnt writing How To Eat Better?
Perhaps the most surprising discover was something quite counterintuitive and it was about coffee. As a scientist used to often hearing claims coffee is disastrous for your mood, heart and maybe a risk factor for cancer assumed they must be true. However when you actually look at the objective, scientific evidence, not only are the claims poorly supported, but in fact quite the opposite may be true. In fact coffee is one of the richest dietary sources of a group of naturally-occurring compounds called polyphenols believed to prevent a wide range of so many degenerative diseases, contributing up to 50% of  antioxidants in the famously healthy Mediterranean diet. Thank you science.james wong

Do you always employ own tips and tricks in kitchen as a chef?
A lifelong obsession with food and come from a family of people who worked in restaurants, so absolutely! Inherently quite lazy though, so included tips from the research thought were genuinely practical and accessible for real people. For example, storing tomatoes on the counter is just as easy as popping them in the fridge but gives you measurably more flavour, phytonutrients. Serving them with avocados can improve the absorbability of antioxidant lycopene (believed to have cardio protective effects) by 400% too. Really needs very little excuse to eat more avocados! This book is not about obscure ingredients or restrictive diets. It’s just about taking the food you already love and making it even better. Personally tested all recipes in the book three times, which explains why many are based around shortcuts and cheats! Love of good food is from his Love of eating! Guesses when you are fascinated by plants this conspires to make you obsessive about food. On a recent filming trip in Japan spent long using the translate app on phone to find dishes that featured weird veg on every menu (hostas, bracken, ferns, cherry and oak leaves are the common foods there) colleagues ended up ordering without him every time.Screen-Shot-2017-04-12-at-11.45.11.png

Most important message to take from How To Eat Better?
Eating healthily in our society is often wrapped up in the notions of expense. Somehow food that costs more, sounds more exclusive or is tracked down from some far flung place is often thought to be instantly better for us. The research tells quite another story. In fact very often the cheapest, most accessible option can be better for you. Tinned tomatoes have twice the phytonutrient lycopene of fresh tomatoes. Frozen blueberries, despite being half the price, have the same level of antioxidants as fresh. Instant coffee also has twice the potentially heart-healthy polyphenols of ‘artisan brewed’ coffee. So empowering, especially at a time when many can simply not afford to fill their trolley with the latest ‘superfood’. The single best thing you can do to improve your diet is simply to eat more fruit and veg. Full stop. The tips and tricks researched might make the fruit and veg you love even better for you. You can purchase your copy of How To Eat Better by James Wong here.

Want to find out how to grow some of your own super-veg? Click here.

To see more great garden books, click here.