PLASTIC FREE PARTY CHOICE

Lindsay and Glen

Lindsay, 36, a writer from Kent, and her Australian husband Glen, 38, first tried living without plastic in 2012. It started out as a month-long challenge so turned into a way of life for the pair who live in Perth, Western Australia. “I’m more the driver than him but we got involved at the same time,” she says. “I’m the one that puts in more work but he agrees with all the values.” So going plastic free for their wedding, in 2014, was a no-brainer.Table decorationsPlastic finds way into weddings in many forms of food storage, drink packaging, decorations, flower delivery – that’s just the start. For Lindsay, who blogs about living without waste, trying to make her special day plastic free came first ahead of any other wishes. “We said we want to be plastic free ‘how can we do that,’ rather than saying, ‘We want roses, we want to have canapes, can we do plastic free memorable but not break the bank. Simplicity was key. To me simple means no fuss and devoting whole weekends to projects was out, says Lindsay.Food menuInvolving suppliers from outset was the most effective way of making a plastic-free event happen, she says. “It’s really about having conversations with people and explaining why you want to do it. People are willing.” But its about taking matters into you own hands. “If you get stuff delivered to you, that’s when it comes in packaging. It was making sure on the day we went to all the deli, the bakery et cetera so we could guarantee there was no packaging.” Eco Wedding Styles done includes recycled materials.Wedding decorations

  • Invitations: electronic, sent via email or Facebook
  • Flowers: freshly picked by family and friends from their gardens, arranged in old jam-jars
  • Decorations: borrowed lace bunting from old tablecloths and curtains • tins fished out of recycling bins and wrapped in twine and in hessian ribbon, which was also used for table runners • hired tablecloths and tea cups • bought beeswax candles in jars
  • Food: local businesses focused on locally sourced produce • hired pizza oven • cakes from a bakery that didn’t use plastic packaging • Indian snacks donated by a friend as a wedding gift
  • Drink: tap beer and cider • local wine • pre-made soft drinks served in jugs • loose tea and coffee • no straws
  • Tableware: venue’s own crockery and cutlery (although having pizza minimised amount needed) • borrowed glasses
  • Gifts: guests told not to buy presents – to avoid any waste and wrapping
  • Dress: rather than spend hours trawling charity shops, the bride bought a High-Street dress she wore again and then sold on eBay
  • Hair and make-up: used make-up bride had • washed hair with bicarbonate of soda and vinegar
  • Favours/confetti: did without it

Lindsay and Glen's weddingLindsay and Glen married local bowling club in Perth Lindsay accepts achieving a 100% plastic-free wedding also meant relying on other people. For wedding, they hired a pizza oven and used a local deli to provide fresh ingredients without plastic packaging but did they know what went on behind the scenes? “It’s possible some plastic that I didn’t see… whether he got a packet of salad in a plastic bag, I don’t know were counterbalanced by air miles required to fly her family albeit just four people to Australia. “In hindsight, I should have fallen in love with the guy in the village – but I didn’t,” Lindsay jokes. “I fell in love with a guy in Australia, so it’s one of those things you have to compromise. My parents, my sister and brother flying out for a wedding – it’s a one-off.” They did decide to have the wedding as local as possible in the city of Perth, rather than the countryside, to reduce driving distances. How difficult for Eugenie to achieve? Wedding planner Katrina Otter says working with the right people is key, as some of the more “old-school suppliers” are less keen to adapt. “Make sure you have the right team on board, work with a team willing to do it or one where it’s already part of their ethos.” She adds: Bride and groom might not know plastic involved cutlery wrapped in cling film. No royal wedding is complete without a vibrant floral display.The Duke and Duchess of Sussex leaving the chapelFlowers were a big part of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s wedding day And, traditionally, a key part of those has been the floral foam – the bricks of green, spongy foam that provide a foundation for floral arrangements, as well as a water source. Katrina says finding an alternative to the non-biodegradable plastic material has become a big issue for the industry and many florists are looking to do it another way. The florist who created the displays for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s wedding, Philippa Craddock, says she didn’t use any floral foam for their big day. The number of couples requesting plastic-free weddings is on the rise, says Katrina, although it remains a small proportion. Another issue to consider for any bride having live TV coverage is the hair and make-up. Kate Arnell, who blogged about her zero-waste wedding, in 2014, says she found it tricky to find plastic-free make-up and hair products. There are a lot more available and since swapped to plastic-free alternatives she says. Whether Princess Eugenie opts for Lindsay’s bicarbonate of soda, vinegar concoction on hair yet to be confirmed. Eugenie wedding wants plastic free on big day. In addition to venue, food and drink, music, the dress, hair and make-up, a bride’s checklist goes on. And also Princess Eugenie added another factor into equation her wedding to be plastic free. The Queen’s granddaughter, who is marrying Jack Brooksbank on 12 October, told British Vogue the couple’s house was anti-plastic and want our wedding to be like that as well.” So how realistic is it? Lindsay Miles discovered, there are quite a few things to take into consideration. If it is just one day, why bother? “A wedding is such a significant day that it’s even more important to be true to your values than on any other day,” says Lindsay. “You can’t go back on your values just because you’re getting married.”

  • Are you ready for another royal wedding?
  • WATCH: Five ways to break up with plastic

Related Topics

Advertisements

CAST OUT EVIL DOG DREAMS

How To Stop Dogs Jumping Up: Easy And Actionable Tips - When your puppy jumps up at you it can be adorable. But when a grown dog jumps up, the situation isn’t so sweet. After reading this blog post, you’ll know how to train your puppy or dog to behave around you and others without jumping up for attention. You’ll get all the tools you need to train your puppy and grown dog, as well. Read at www.kaufmannspuppytraining.com #puppytraining #dogtraining

Loving calm dogs bring joy to people so are adorable and loyal to owners. In life evil dogs attacking people are put down so Philippians 3:2 in Bible says ”Beware of evil dog and evil worker’s concisions. Psalm 22:20, says Deliver my soul from the sword; my darling from power of the dog.” In Matthew 12:43 “An unclean spirit goes out of a man, walks through dry places seeking rest if it finds none returns with seven worse spirits.” The demon spirit of dog in the dream is the marine sexual perversion. The dog through the dream blocks and pollutes destiny. This type of dream affect marriage, separate from God. A dog in dream means you are bondage of the devil. Whether a dog bites, chases, licks body, tears clothes, barks, moving tongues, in your house or compound training dog means covenant with sexual demon. Dream about dogs highlights sexual sins, backsliding or a marital problem, satanic bondage water spirit demons, temptation, evil friends against you, surrounded by demons or satanic bewitchment, spirit of anger or self hatred, the spirit of masturbation or uncontrollable character or adultery. If you see a dog in dream it means you are controlled by spirit of dog bondage that opens doors of sin and pride. So difficult for God to answer prayers speedily. If dream consistent do deep deliverance prayers to set your free in Jesus Name. INSTRUCTION: Embark on 7 days fasting and prayers from 6am-3pm. Pray with the following verses: Psalm 18:44, Matthew 9:13, 1 John 1:9, 2 Cor 10:3-6 PRAYER POINTS Father, I repent of all my sins committed in the past and present, in the Name of Jesus. Father, I ask for your mercy and forgiveness for my sin, in the Name of Jesus. I receive power to defeat evil dogs sent from the marine kingdom to cause problems in my life, in Jesus Name. Every evil dog barking against the blessings of God from locating me, shut up and die, in the Name of Jesus. Every agent of the devil using the spirit of dog to hold my life in bondage, break by fire, in Jesus Name evil covenant made over my life through the dog by water spirit, break by fire, in the Name of Jesus. A spiritual dog moving their tongue against me, die by fire, in the Name of Jesus. The arrow shot into my life in the dream by evil dogs, backfire, in the Name of Jesus. Evil seeds enemy sow into my life through this dream, be uprooted by fire, in the Name of Jesus. A spirit dog assigned to carry to push me into sin of fornication, gossip, backsliding etc, you are a liar, die, in the Name of Jesus. My life, reject the spirit of dog in the dream, in the Name of Jesus. Every strange dogs in the garden of my glory, disappear by fire, in the Name of Jesus. I bind legs of enemy  into my life, in the Name of Jesus. Every unclean spirit made our home their habitation quit, BE TERMINATED by fire in the Name of Jesus. Any of my glory the enemy is plans to steal through this dog dream, I chase you away to the pit in the river, in the Name of Jesus. Every unrepentant enemy vowed to make me cry this year, fall down and die, in the Name of Jesus. I paralyze the hands and legs of every power assigned to destroy me, in the Name of Jesus. Ancestral dog brought out from the shrine because of me, go back to sender, in Jesus Name Every agenda of the enemy that wants me to embrace sin, get out my life in the Name of Jesus. Doors opened for enemy to attack me in ignorance and sin I close it by fire, in the Name of Jesus. Spiritual dog posing as husband in dream, catch fire, in the Name of Jesus. You satanic dogs that appears to me whenever I am about to prosper, die by fire, in Jesus Name  Any sins magnetizing spiritual dog to attack me and my family get out of our life. I receive total repentance in Jesus Name. Any behaviour in me that affects my marriage and career, I get rid of you, go out of my life in Jesus Name. Holy Ghost fire, hide me and my family with your fire so my enemy will not see me, in the Name of Jesus. A spirit of dog in my life manifesting in my marriage, out of my life and expire today, in Jesus Name My Father, as I clap my hands the evil dog hiding in my dream and house, Fire of God, locate them and consume them to ashes in Jesus Name. Any curse from the dog barking, go back to sender, in Jesus Name. The dog spirit sleeping with me as spirit husband, catch fire, in the Name of Jesus. I release myself from the territory of satanic dogs in the name of Jesus. O God, let every dog poison and evil effect of serpentile activities in my life, be uprooted, in the Name of Jesus. Every spirit of dog, programmed into my body and home, I deprograme you in my life, in the Name of Jesus. HOLY GHOST FIRE BURN DOWN any man or woman using spiritual animals to try to frustrate our lives IN JESUS NAME. My Father, set me free from every bondage of sin in my life, set me free, in Jesus Name Blood of Jesus, wash all my sins away, in Jesus Name. I command evil dog programmer die in Jesus Name. The spirit of dog causing spouse to get tired of me die in Jesus Name. Things evil dog destroyed, stole, buried, I recover them 100 folds, in Jesus Name. Father, grant me the Grace to resist sin and evil in the Name of Jesus. Our homes will not be torn apart by enemy in Jesus Name (tell God secret sin). The reproductive organ of enemy programmed into my organ to cause childlessness, divorce, singleness, I reject you by fire, in the Name of Jesus. I cancel dreams seeing dogs copulating in Jesus name Every spirit of fornication holding me in bondage, break by fire, Every habit of masturbation, loose your hold over me, in Jesus name. I refuse to pollute my body and organs with others because of money and beauty, in Jesus Name I and my household are covered with the BLOOD of Jesus. Thank God for deliverance from the marine dog spirits in Jesus Name. Glory to God. Thank you Jesus for setting free from all evil spirits we are DELIVERED IN JESUS NAME!!!!!!!

Read more at: https://www.evangelistjoshuaorekhie.com/prayers-evil-dogs-dream/dream-prayers/feed

MARRIED 45 GAVE BIRTH 47

God’s Time is the best to fulfil the plans and purpose for your life to Glorify God as Gifty Anti’s testimony shows. This is the Lords doing and it is marvellous in our eyes. Wait on GOD ALMIGHTY and do not lean on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge God, HE WILL BRING TO PASS IN JESUS NAME. This powerful message is to encourage all people to Seek God’s Face especially for marriage. Do not marry because you feel it’s too late so rush into relationship to destroy you in the end. So many fear they may not get married after a certain age, convince themselves so share the husband of another woman. They miss their own husband due to impatience so regretted later and wished they waited for God. Delay is not denial so better to build up good character and reputation to wait as a virtuous woman. The same goes for men marrying the children too young with undeveloped body to bear a weight of children or be a matured wife. GLORY to God for matured women that are fully grown and to handle marriage better. Those miserable and lonely who think marriage solves all problems must love themselves first to bring good vibes into the marriage. Spend quality time to enjoy the single years dedicated to God and busy minding your own business. It is true marriage is beautiful, wonderful and fulfilling because God created the first marriage in Garden of Eden. God said, it is not good to be alone so made Eve out of Adam’s rib to join one flesh.

Marriage ordained by God so important to organise marriage as God planned and intends. Adam and Eve are created as fully grown adults with all available resources before their marriage was created by God. Time of singlenesss is time preparation towards marriage because such precious times cannot be regained after marriage. The single person is married to God in Christ so devoted to things of God Bible says. A popular saying is that marriage is like a woollen blanket itches when covered by it and cold without it. Those inside it are desperate to get out while those outside can’t wait to get in. Marriage is so great and wonderful because two better than one strengthening each other when the going gets tough. A real life marriage is not just like a fantasy drama of actors pretending to be couples on TV reciting written scripts and paid. Do not base a choice of a life partner on TV drama or Mills and Boons romantic fantasy novel although it contains elements of truth of real life. Marriage that endures lifetime is deeper than TV drama marriage takes the Grace, Mercy and Favour of God to endure the challenges and adversity of life together as a couple. And marriage is NOT HAPPILY EVER AFTER always as novels say it is practical real life matters of building family, relationship with the in-laws, humility, respect for people in the families, Honour, respect and never just the two couples involved. Be ready to become part of bigger family looking after interests of others not just yourself as God planned. Couples celebrate their wedding interact with family to support them in time of need. And never isolate yourselves to be in love to burn bridges because after the dust settles you need all those people to help the marriage to thrive. Isolated marriages are too close for comfort puts too much stress on each other to ruin marriage. A single person is WHOLE PERSON made in the IMAGE OF GOD. So stop thinking you are incomplete without marriage if not married yet or chooses not to marry marriage is not a competition of friends. Do not rush into marriage because you feel left behind by agemates. A real life journey is personal and individual, seek the face of God before marriage. 

Polyandry marriage of women married to more than one husband is common in India, Nigeria, China, Mountain tribes of Asia where there are more women than men. Similar words are polygyny, bigamy and deuterogamy. The Bible says 7 women will take hold of one man and say we are self-sufficient, so have everything already, we just want to be called by your name “Mrs.” Solomon and 700 wives and his 300 concubines, feminists now demand equal rights of polyandry to be like men. God allowed Abraham, Jacob, David among others to have many wives. Though God said, one man join one wife as ONE FLESH people are greedy so want more. After all God and Jesus are too HOLY without sexual needs, without a wife, so how on earth are they going to understand human needs of the flesh? The signs of end time debauchery and lasciviousness like the days of Noah and Sodom and Gomorrah Jesus has warned about will happen be before His coming again. Hope you are all well by the Grace of God. Pray with intense fasting intercession to break family covenant of spiritual marriage you are dedicated to fighting real life spouse. Secrets are not shared by parents so seek deliverance in Jesus Name for a breakthrough. Don’t consult psychics, necromancers, fortune tellers, native doctor herbalist, witch doctor for marriage because you will be initiated to satan and demons will marry you to prevent real life marriage. It may seem they gave you husband or wife but it is loaded with evil because satan does not give anything free without taking back a life of family members to kill, destroy or make them suffer in life. So may not realise your connection to idol shrine is the cause of all family sickness, poverty, and premature deaths. Ancestors sought ‘protection’ from: evil witchcraft, wars, land disputes, chieftaincy by sacrificing the family to shrines. Such generational covenants are known or unknown to family members suffering today. The LORD GOD ALMIGHTY is the source of life and giver of marriage so follow the plan if God for your life. Do not listen to those who ruined their life embarrassed by your virtuous life to deceive you to ruin your life. They may call you “an old maid” left on the shelf but GOD’S TIME is the BEST in Jesus Name. All laughing and mocking you now will see the Glory of God in your life and your testimony in Jesus Name. Others decide to do their own deceived by those who want their life destroyed to spur on to disgrace them. Beware and stand on the word of God for inspiration, hope, assurance in Christ and trust God in Spirit and Truth to beautify your life in His Own Time for you. You will enjoy your marriage because you are  faithful to God so HE WILL Make A WAY for you where there is no way in Jesus Name. The Bible in Exodus 21:10, says a man can marry an infinite amount of women without limits to how many to marry. And in 2 Samuel 5:13; 1 Chronicles 3:1-9, and in 14:3, King David had six wives and his numerous concubines. Also in 1 Kings 11:3, King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Again in 2 Chronicles 11:21, King Solomon’s son Rehoboam had 18 wives and 60 concubines. And in Deuteronomy 21:15 A man with two wives loves one but not the other and both bear sons favours one more. The laws of each land dictate the number of spouse according to that culture.  

IMG_20180915_131117If you have Spiritual Father and Mother in Christ go and talk to them privately about your desire to get married. Study Biblical marriage to read good books on marriage from God to help understand marriage better. Ensure you are able to provide marital needs like rent, food, work to have money to pay the bills, to first take care of yourself before you go to add children’s needs into a marriage for more responsibility. Love alone is not enough because love does not pay bills or provide food just because you declare or flaunt how madly you are in love on social media. Be happy first in yourself, see marriage as bonus adding value to your life rather than depending on person to fulfil your life. Impossible to demand spouse totally fulfil all areas of your life needs because you love and married them. You demand they be God who is ONLY ONE Provider that way. Its misunderstanding to destroy marriage because of your assumption a partner will meets all your needs but you do not tell them what your need is. You insist they read your mind to do all you want from them without TALKING to them or doing good to them in return. Marriage is not a ONE WAY culdesac no return of favour done to you. Negotiate with family through the good servant of God with your family in partnership for a spouse. Even if church helps you find spouse include family or if family finds you spouse include the church if a born again believer. You need them along the journey of married life for sure honour family and stay in church in marriage ordained by God. Families give account to God on judgement day so remember God will deal with you as you deal with spouse and fam vily. Check your heart for motives of marriage to be sure you love, show kindness, peace, joy, so loyal, forgives, self-control, laughter help each other, family after honeymoon is over reality sets in. Marriage not for the fainthearted so treat it with respect, honesty, trust be transparent for your own good to help save to preserve your married life in peace. Continue to pray intensely as you did when seeking that life partner to defeat and conquer the onslaught of forces that contend with the marriage. Do not relax and think nobody fights over conquered fortress to settle down so ignore spouse. This is beginning of married life of challenges in relationship. With God all things are possible so be alert watch out pray, seek deliverance in Mighty Name of Jesus!!!

GOOD & EVIL FAST IN BIBLE

Proven health benefits of fasting

Bible verses on fasting help decide the kind of fast and purpose of fast. In Luke 4:2-4 Jesus Fasted and Prayed 2 for forty days and was then tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days so was hungry. 3 The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God then turn stones into bread.” 4 Jesus answered, “It is written man shall not live bread alone.’ Jesus told His disciples in Matthew 17:21 and Mark 9:29 in the Bible evil spirits of that kind is only driven out by prayer and fasting. Power of prayer and fasting enables intense time of prayer with God to focus more to seek the Face of God to become more empowered and receive God’s direction to take action. Except by prayer, answers and miracles from God are unattainable, hindered by spiritual wickedness in high places. Fasting is a Biblical normal part of Christian life in obedience for God to hear and answer prayer when HE wants to do so. People fast for various reasons in Bible, based on circumstances God is sought after. Prayer for breakthrough breaks barrier through power of the Holy Spirit’s outpouring. Fasting is part of God’s warfare strategy to defeat the demons of rebellion, pride, witchcraft, poverty and lack. When evil witchcraft spiritual attacks unfold God’s POWER manifest to destroy it in the Mighty Name of Jesus. The evil curses and witchcraft spells are broken and removed in the Name of Jesus to get solution to live in peace and experience healing from God in Jesus Name. Before starting a fast if you have any health or medical problems check with a doctor if on medication. A person starting fast, if first time, especially the young children fast half a day drinking water or fruit juice praying from 6am-12 noon is more than enough for God to answer prayer. If there are no health problems the next level is a full day fasting with water or fruit juice, to help the body to cope with withdrawal of food. If prayer or fasting lasts for three days it is wise to drink water or fruit juice to ensure the body is healthy and coping well. Jesus the Son of God’s body lasted without food for 40 days. An ordinary human body must be careful because the body lasts from two days to a week without liquids but the person’s health, weather and individual physical activity levels help determine how long a person lasts without water. Estimating how long bodies do without food or water tends to depend on weeks worth of reserve energy from food in the body already. Water regulates body temperature, digestion, waste disposal, hydration, 7 days is the maximum limit the body can cope. God’s General Robert Liardon once said, if prayer and fasting is not heard or answered by God within three days something is seriously wrong so join prayer agreement with matured mentor prayer warriors to deal with the root of persistent problem. If one defeat a thousand and two defeat ten thousand then to see value of corporate prayer in Jesus Name. Stop fasting immediately to seek deliverance and Godly direction to overcome challenges. Never start a dry fast without water and food more than three days unless trained Biblically first to know and understand the reasons for fasting. Do not fast for 7 days without any water or fruit unless you are under the authority and guidance of seasoned pastor among other believers for help or support. Do not copy people bragging of fasting: 10, 14, 21, 40, 70 days to think God will answer your prayer too. There is special reason long fasting is required in group fasting for the religious rituals. Children or sick people must never be forced to fast because you fast on behalf of family. The Bible allows intercession prayer on behalf of family household so everyone cannot be forced to partake in it before God HEARS. A personal prayer Jesus says, go into private closet to pray so God will hear to openly reward you.  

Matthew 6:16-18 Fast in Secret

16 “When you fast, do not look sad like hypocrites to disfigure faces to show others you are fasting. Truly I tell you, you will not receive reward from God. 17  When you fast put oil on your head, wash your face 18 so it’s not obvious to others you are fasting, but only Father Goprayerssecret prayers to reward you.

Luke 18:1-12 Persistent Prayer

1 Jesus told his disciples this parable to show them they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: In a certain town was a judge who did not fear God or cared what people thought. 3 There was a widow in town who kept going to him to plea, ‘Grant me justice against enemy’ 4 “For some time he refused but finally said to himself, ‘though I don’t fear God or care what people think because this widow keeps bothering me I will see to it she gets justice, so she won’t bother me’ ”6 The LORD said, “Listen to what an unjust judge says. 7 If so will God not bring justice for HIS chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will HE keep put them off? 8 I tell you, HE will see they get justice quickly. So when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on earth?” 9 Those confident of their own righteousness look down on everyone. Jesus told a parable: 10 “Two men went to temple to pray, a Pharisee and a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood and prayed: ‘God, I thank you I am not like others, robbers, evildoers, adulterers or like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give tenth of all that I get.’ An attitude of repentance and humility is essential for God’s intervention to fast:

1. To prepare for ministry. Jesus spent 40 days and nights in wilderness fasting and praying before He did God’s work on earth. He spent time alone preparing for His Father’s work in Matthew 4:1-17; Mark 1:12-13; Luke 4:1-14.

2. To seek God’s wisdom. Paul and Barnabas prayed and fasted for elders of the churches before committing them to the Lord for His service in Acts 14:23.

3. To show grief. Nehemiah mourned, fasted, and prayed when he learned Jerusalem’s walls broke down, leaving the Israelites vulnerable and disgraced in Nehemiah 1:1-4.
4. To seek deliverance or protection. Ezra declared corporate fast and prayed for safe journey for Israelites as they travelled 900 miles to Jerusalem from Babylon in Ezra 8:21-23.

5. To repent. After Jonah’s judgements against Nineveh city, the king covered himself with sackcloth and sat in the dust with people to fast and pray for 40 days. In Jonah 3:10, “God saw how they turned from their evil ways so forgave

6. To gain victory. After losing 40,000 men in battle in two days, the Israelites cried to God for help. In Judges 20:26 the people went to Bethel, “sat weeping before the Lord.” They “fasted that day until evening.” The next day the Lord gave them victory over the Benjamites.

7. To worship God. Luke 2:37 says that 84 year old prophetess Anna never left temple but worshiped God night and day, fasting and praying, devoted to God and fasting expressing love for God.
Despite biblical examples throughout.1311842338-6f57a9d67ae9a73cfdd2377ecd71f394_n

1 Corinthians 7:5 Spouse Agrees

Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for a time if devoting yourselves to prayer. Come together again so that satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

1 Samuel 7:7 Fighting Battles

Philistines heard Israel assembled at Mizpah when rulers of Philistine came to attack them. Israelites were afraid because of the Philistines so fasted.

2 Samuel 1:12 During Grieving

They mourned and wept and fasted till evening for Saul and son Jonathan, for the army of the LORD and for the nation of Israel fallen by the sword.

Acts 13:2 Choosing The Leaders

In worshiping the LORD and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart Barnabas and Saul for the work God called them.”

Acts 14:23 Appointing Elders

Paul and Barnabas appointed elders in each church with prayer and fasting, committed them to the LORD, in whom they had put their trust.

Daniel 10:3 God’s Intervention

I ate no choice food; no meat or wine touched my lips; and I used no lotions at all until the three weeks were over.

Esther 4:16 Seeking God Favour

“Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast too. Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”

Exodus 34:28 Seek God’s Face

Moses was with the LORD forty days and forty nights without eating bread or drinking water and wrote on tablets the words of covenant Ten Commandments.

Joel 2:12 During Repentance

The LORD, “said return with all your heart with fasting, weeping, mourning.”

Luke 18:12 Godly Duty To Fast

Fast twice a week give tenth of asset.

Nehemiah 1:4 For Intercession

When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For days, mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.

Psalm 69:10 Personal Prayer

10 I weep and fast and endure scorn.

Psalm 35:13-14 God’s Healing

13 When they were ill I put on sackcloth and humbled myself with fasting. If my prayers return to me unanswered, 14 I go about mourning as though for friend or brother. I bow my head in grief like weeping for my mother.

Joel 2:12-13 God’s Forgiveness

12 “Even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” 13 Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for HE is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and HE relents from sending calamity.

Acts 13:3-4 To Go On A Mission

3 After they fasted and prayed, placed their hands on them and sent them off. 4 The two went on their way with Holy Spirit to Seleucia and sailed to Cyprus.

Daniel 9:3-5 To Return to God

3 I turned to the LORD God and pleaded with HIM in prayer, petition, fasting in sackcloth and ashes. 4 I prayed to LORD God and confessed: “LORD the great and awesome God, who keeps covenant of love with those who love HIM and keep HIS commandments, 5 we sinned, done wrong, been wicked, rebelled so turned away from your commands and laws.

2 Samuel 12:15-17 To Save Lives

15 Nathan went home, the LORD struck the child Uriah’s wife had with David so he became ill. 16 David pleads with God for the child. He fasted, spent nights in sackcloth on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and did not eat any food with them.

1 Kings 21:25-27 Godly Humility

Ahab sold himself to do evil in the eyes of the LORD, urged on by Jezebel his wife. 26 He behaved in vilest manner by going after idols like Amorites the LORD drove out before Israel. 27 Ahab heard God’s words from prophet Elijah, tore his clothes, put on sackcloth fasted, lay in sackcloth and went around humbly.

Ezra 8:21-23 For Travel Mercy

21 By Ahava river, I proclaimed a fast, to humble ourselves before God and ask HIM for a safe journey for us and our children, with all our possessions. 22  I did not ask the king for soldiers and his horsemen to protect us from enemies on the road, because told the king, “The gracious hand of our God is on all those who look to him, but his great anger is against all who forsake him.” 23 So we fasted and petitioned our God on this, and he answered our prayer.

Jonah 3:5-9 To Stop God’s Anger

5 The Ninevites believed God. A fast was proclaimed, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth. 6 When Jonah’s warning reached the king of Nineveh he rose from throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. 7 This is the proclamation he issued in Nineveh: “By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let people or animals, herds or flocks, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. 8 But let people and animals be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. 9 Who knows? God may relent with compassion turn from his fierce anger so we will not perish.”1312816044_1101-300x298

Isaiah 58:3-7 Be Kind to People

3 ‘Why did we fast,’ they say and not yet seen result? We humbled ourselves, did you notice?’ “On the day of fasting, you do as you please, exploit your workers. Your fast ends in fighting, strife and in striking others with wicked fists. And so cannot fast that way and expect your voice to be heard by God. 5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for people to humble themselves? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying in sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast day acceptable to the LORD? 6 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose chains of injustice to untie the cords of the yoke, to set oppressed free and break every yoke? 7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry to provide poor wanderer with shelter when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Despite the biblical examples throughout Scripture, the wicked people fast too, using fear, ignorance or rebellion to compel others to indulge in evil actions. Jezebel used a witchcraft magic to influence people to cast mind bending spells to manipulate people to join her to attack Naboth. Like going to native witchdoctors, Baal idol worshippers to fast three days to attack Naboth to kill him for his family land king Ahab coveted after murder. It is necessary to know unbelievers fast to their gods to dedicate themselves and to celebrate their feasts. Spiritualists and a new age meditation fast to cleanse their body and thoughts. Medical treatments requires people to abstain from food for long hours for better access to organs to check in details the damaged tissues. It is used to help some medications work better in the body. Therefore the motive and purpose of a fast is very important before starting fast. It’s good to build up and prepare body well fed in advance if going to fast for a long time. Combining prayer and fasting with deliverance is the best way to achieve best results. It is not the length of days of fasting that is a condition for receiving answer. It is the attitude of repentance, humility, Mercy, Grace, lamentations, Kindness, Favour of God that touches God’s heart to hear and forgive people. God decides time to help in HIS Own way it’s not starvation that forces God to answer prayer. If its starvation that caused God to answer prayer the hungriest people all over the would be most blessed. In addition, the fast must be accompanied by realistic practical solutions available it is not by torturing the flesh that brings miracles. You get closer to God through the Name and the BLOOD of Jesus if a born-again Christian believer. Deliverance through a deeper matured deliverance minister is necessary in extreme cases to be free from demons causing family problems. Some cases need God’s wisdom, support from friends and family and the right organisations. In the western world the resources available can help without a fast. Fasting is for spiritual growth and devotion as well as God’s intervention. Help must be sought through available means spiritually, physically to ensure emotional well-being of those fasting. The devil comes to steal, kill to destroy so check your heart about motives and purpose of your fast. Fasting or praying to covet another person’s spouse, break marriage to marry partner, fast to take another’s property as in Naboth’s case is witchcraft in 1 Kings 21:12. To proclaim fast to take Naboth’s asset is greed, envy and jealousy. Jezebel’s plot got what she wanted from a fast but God ALMIGHTY judged them immediately. In the Bible in Acts 23:12-35 people plot to kill Paul the next morning. Some Jews vowed by oath not to eat or drink until they kill Paul. The fanatics want to kill Paul for believing in resurrection, angels, Holy Spirit did not like his teachings in the Bible. A group of more than forty Jews vowed to kill Paul but he managed to escape on a tip off from his sister’s son. They lied Paul is troublemaker, stirs up riots among Jews all over the world as a ringleader of Nazarene sect to desecrate temple seized him. Agrippa examined him to  learnt truth about false charges against him. The other Jews joined in accusation asserting lies were true. The governor let Paul speak but accusers did not find him arguing with anyone at the temple, stirred crowd in the synagogues or anywhere else in city did not prove charges made. Admits he worshipped God of ancestors, follows of way of laws written in prophets with hope in God as the men in resurrection of the righteous and wicked, his conscience clear before God and man. Paul is sent to Rome after two years so lived and preached until his death during Nero’s rule. Attacks by evil fast makes people hungry, angry and violent so seems to get away with it but years later God judges the bloodlust damage caused to others. You may not later like what you fasted and prayed for. Let God’s words guide you in Spirit and in Truth in Jesus Name to supply all your needs from heaven. Do speak to people despite fasting for God uses human beings to answer prayer or needs in Jesus Name. God will not come down personally physically in front of you to give you the miracles. So speak to people as God may reveal your needs in advance to them to provide your needs through them. Use practical wisdom so not let shame or embarrassment cause you to hide in isolation overwhelmed by fear or frustration in anger against God yet fasting. Its good to fast appropriately as Bible requires but not to ‘crucify’ the flesh recklessly in the Name of God. Fasting alone is not enough in satanic cult deliverance so needs God’s prophet to cast that demon out in the Mighty Name of Jesus. Some problems need Spiritual Father in the LORD to guide and support you. So don’t in silence seek help in Jesus Name. GLORY to God.


HAPPIER IN BIGGER HOUSE?

isbUK is said experiencing a dire shortage of living space, but does having more room necessarily make people more content? It is common to hear concerns about pokey new-builds and sky-high rents forcing people into ever smaller homes. But the reality is that living spaces in England and Wales are larger than ever, with the average home increasing from 88 to 90 square metres between 2004 and 2016. Instead, the issue is distribution of space is more unequal. The owner occupiers has lots of space compared with young renters sharing a home with several others. In 2017, about 28% of UK households contained one person, up from 17% in 1971. But the proportion of families and individuals sharing private rented housing has almost tripled since 1992 to 6.6%, according toresearch by the Resolution Foundation think tank. So, does more space always mean happier occupants, or is there a cut-off point?Housing in numbers datapic

Status and neighbours

A London-based colleague recently told me about her aunt coming to visit her from Hong Kong. Upon seeing her shoe-box bedroom, she was filled not with pity, but with envy. The aunt had grown up seven people to one room, and thought this living arrangement the height of luxury. This illustrates how the level of space that we expect or aspire to can depend on what we are used to. Even after people move to a bigger house, it may not take long for them to start to feel like they don’t have enough. Surveying almost 1,000 people who chose to upsize their home, my research found that housing satisfaction initially increased after a move by 1.2 points on a seven-point scale. But within three years, this rise had diminished by about 30% as people’s space expectations increased.Chart showing housing satisfaction rises before a house move before diminishing

You might think that people with very big houses would be more satisfied with their property. Found increase beyond four rooms per person resulted in no uplift in housing satisfaction at all. This category is likely to include some older people who would like a smaller space but are reluctant to leave the family home. Even for the average household, more space may not necessarily lead to more happiness. Our space expectations are conditioned by where lived before, but by neighbours. Because house size is status symbol feels worse off if other people get larger houses. A recent US study found increase in size of largest 10% of superstar houses had significant negative effect on their neighbours, Woman prepares food with her daughterThose people who moved into a bigger home, previous surveys have suggested people would be prepared to have less living space overall if it meant less than others. Rising cost of ‘normal’ is not to say everyone is consciously competing with their neighbours over who has the biggest house. Most concern of a house size may stem from underlying desire to fit in to do things considered “normal.”  This could be having dinner around the family table or watching TV on the sofa which requires what is considered to be a “normal” level of living space. If home sizes increase then so does the amount of space we feel like we need just to keep up. If all have space for home gym having friends round for a workout could well become as normal as having them round for dinner.Couple looking at big houseCounting the costs as a nation, do not seem to be getting any happier with our housing, even though living space and housing conditions have improved for many people. The US-based study draws similar conclusions. It suggests people living in a detached house, satisfaction stayed the same since the 1980s as the amount of space per person has grown by about 40%, to more than 900 square feet. People moving into bigger homes comes with costs. Spending more on housing means people incurring more mortgage debt, working longer hours, or commuting longer distance, building more homes has significant irreversible environmental costs. An overwhelming case is to provide genuinely affordable housing for those suffering in cramped, unaffordable living conditions. Beyond this increase is if average living spaces improve wellbeing society is debated. This analysis piece was commissioned by the BBC from an expert working for an outside organisation. Dr Chris Foye is knowledge exchange associate with the University of Glasgow, UK Collaborative Centre for Housing Evidence. His role is building relationships between housing researchers, policymakers, practitioners and residents. 

DEATH AND EVIL EMOTIONS

Death is a sensitive  matter that brings about all sorts of negative evil emotions and disagreements due to accusations blaming others as their cause of a death. God said it’s appointed unto man to die and there is a time to die except unless one of those who will never see die in the Rapture. It clearly says in the Bible an average age of life is between 70 to 80 years although exceptions mean that some die younger and other people live hundreds of years. However awareness of existence of facts of life about death does not make death easier to accept, no matter how long the person lived. Even when a loved one is ill for many years there is expectation for recovery despite doctor’s prognosis. Letting go of loved ones is painful and soon turns to anger of feelings of being abandoned by loved ones. Soon anger turns to denial and the blame of anyone as cause of their death. Often accusations are levelled against a frontline staff for not trying harder to save loved ones despite the best medical resources. Relatives accuse and blame others for causing death through evil spirits using, sorcery, witchcraft and divinations charms, curses and spells. Often the shock caused by the death is compounded by financial demands imposed on relatives for a grand burial beyond their means and resources. The family is given a list of items to buy by the elders before burial takes place. The families compete for the corpse and the process of burial instead of unifying in grief for the sake of their loved ones. In some parts of the world burial is bigger than wedding so requires lots of money. And the sudden death burdens relatives obliged to provide coffin, food, clothing drinks accommodations for guests. This causes so much debt and puts pressure on families of the deceased because the resources are diverted for burial rather than investments into projects to help those alive. Fear of being haunted and punished by the deceased, if not buried properly or revenge for ” whoever” is responsible for the death becomes their obsession. Until the dead tells them who caused their death, a cloud of suspicion hangs around alleged suspects. They are often targeted and victimized, beaten, ostracised and in some cases killed to ensure that person does not kill more people. Thoughts and fears of potential deaths to be caused by a “perpetrator” drives the community to eliminate such an evil person from their midst. A closer look at alleged perpetrators involve the issue of land disputes envied prosperity and labelling them ritual killers for the material gain. Sudden change in wealth, buildings, or good fortune is thought to be the result of such killings. These are some reasons for delays for funerals for months or years until these issues are resolved. Grief and sorrow overshadow reality with strong desire to pin death on perpetrator for closure to project the pain and loss on them. People are fined, chased away from community banished for life so if anyone shows compassion to them are accused of being part of evil circle causing death. Adults or children are accused by the witchdoctors who fuel confusion by their condemnation of people targetted as perpetrator. Anger, and hatred causes bitterness, sickness, due to unforgiveness, fear and chaos as confusion in the family tarnishes many generations holding grudges by blaming members. An unforgiving person is very poor in spirit, suffers afflictions, many hardships, hypertension, pressure, lack of sleep, stress, exhaustion and serious depression, poor diet so low immunity. These affects quality of life made worse by the copius painkillers literally killing them. Challenges in life of the matured born-again child of God promotes them through furnance of faith to overcome in victory. What does not kill you makes you stronger so problem strengthen you for testimony to the Glory of God God gives solutions in Jesus Name to prove HIS miracle power is same yesterday, today and forever. Problems draw you closer to God to triump always. And we know nothing can separate us from the LOVE OF GOD including death. Personal neglect and the lack of drinking water causes dehydration and death. Do not seek evil sources of secret family idols in shrines through divination sacrifices or offerings on altars destroying people. Their potions, lotions, charms, rings and objects tie them to evil covenants killing them. God says MY people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. These professed Christian believers consult family idols as history reveals in covenant rituals for protection, power, childbirth, help sought for healing and material riches that ENSNARE family to evil spirits. So family members dedicated in the womb or after birth for life to witchdoctors to continue covenant bondage to powers of darkness yet confess to BELIEVE in God as Christians. Deep-rooted rituals secret rituals take place despite official church burials or business success. The family perform secret rituals involving witchdoctors in the name of culture. So these rituals require families paying the huge sums of money to witchdoctors for buying, cows, goats etc to pacify gods or idols from destroying more people. And sadly these rituals cause these divisions separating them from God depriving the family of joy, peace, love and unity. The family gets the worse problems because they held captive by dark powers. Some remain slaves to witchdoctors held in a spiritual captivity and the families takes loans to pay them. Younger generations have no idea of causes of evil challenges in their life as dedicated in the womb by rituals performed by these witchdoctors or herbalist. Fear of evil eyes of enemies reinforce greed of witch doctors fueling hatred among people seeking solutions to problems in time of need. Yet God the Giver of life warns about death as part of life to prepare to deal with death to cope better and to mourn with HOPE OF ASSURANCE OF ETERNAL LIFE IN THE RESURRECTION.

So it is important to remember children pick on these issues affecting by them if unresolved early. The child listens to various insinuations and made to take sides in such conflicts. Developing children who see physically and experience these matters need help to teach them the topic of death and loss sensitively in primary schools to fulfill section (a) of aims of the 1988 Education Reform Act to promote spiritual, moral, cultural, mental, physical development of pupils at school and of society. These issues must be addressed during Death Education in the home and by Teachers in their curriculum. Doctors also call for death education in schools to be taught in classroom to demystify death, ageing and dying. They need resiliency, more compassion positive proactive approach to death. Death Education in Schools is critically important to bring awareness for better understanding and for future generations. Afterlife has many beliefs so necessary to explain a human body is subject to change or decay over lifetime so demands better care of life to treat it as a precious priceless gift to treasure. Someone people think teaching death education in schools is too sensitive or inappropriate so might do the opposite of putting fear in them. Death education if discussed appropriately will not harm children but rather enhance knowledge and understand from the early years as young as three years if relatives died to help them express grief.

Teachers must be trained to handle the changes in children bereaved, the level of coursework, homework, studies and focus or concentrations. Schools must provide one-to-one counselling room for those children grieving to express the grief in private using Educational resources provided for schools, teachers to bring awareness. Healing takes years but a good enough starting point to help ease the pain. Relatives are traumatized after death and some think there is no light at the tunnel. Yet with the right support and compassion families will overcome death to find peace in the midst of adversity of death. Restoring hope after death or questions of cause of death can be dealt with by teacher in simple terms without indepth medical terms to help rather than confuse children. An expert paediatrician if required can be invited to guide children to express and write journals or scrapbook, drawings and to express grief after bereavement. Above all children need financial support, food and extra input into an academic work to catch up with loss of time away from school during such funerals. A conflict over the deceased loved ones seriously impacts children for the rest of live. So it is important to be careful what is said in front of them or listening nearby. The property and assets of a deceased is the major cause of divisions in the families. The family makes sacrifices to educate a deceased person so feels more entitled to their belongings. A wife and children are antagonized by deceased family for feeling cheated while deceased lived. So they are punished to pay for the costs of the burial for killing their only source of income. These issues must be addressed immediately to give scholarship to the children go continue their education. If not death of a parent ends education. Or death of adult breadwinner ends the well-being of elderly parents. Vitriol and rage caused by death means litigations in court drains limited resources. These parents need support too to help their children so both need encouragement. Life originates from God so not owned by anyone. Jesus said He gave His Life to overcome death so the sting of death is crushed by Jesus Christ’s resurrection power by raising from the grave. And so a believer in Jesus Christ is expected to live by God’s Biblical commands only. A secret ritual unseen or unknown to the pastor is SEEN BY GOD. All will be held accountable by God to give an account for their life and other people in their families. These are serious matters to reflect to make a right choice to please God. Living by God’s standard affects a family divided in their thoughts and the actions contrary to God’s WORDS. And it important to remember you come as an individual into this world and will face God as an individual on judgement day. Better to obey God than follow the men leading you into sin and destruction in the name of cultural belief. Despite all the punishment a deceased does not get out alive because of vengeance so does not really solve any problems. Believers can humbly share their faith from Bible in advance on God’s stance on the death and resurrection. Jesus guarantees joy and eternal life after death for a season so believers are assured of seeing loved ones again in the resurrection Rapture if a Christian believer. This means death is not the end families or loved ones, all will be reunited without pain, sorrow, grief, tears or crying anymore in perfect joy eternally. It’s important to EDUCATE people to understand CREATOR GOD’S words on burial and funerals. Excessive display of wealth to show off to others or pay money for journey or bury cars in graves with personal belongings are unbiblical. Worldly attitude to life seeps into church burial ceremonies despite Bible’s position th material goods does not constitute a man’s life. The worldly goods become completely useless in the afterlife and people must know this. The amount of money invested in death will change communities if it’s invested in a life of a deceased while alive. Believers must carefully pray and study word of God and seek deliverance from all these generational entanglements. Educated family members have an important role to play not to be deceived by envious evil people misleading them. God says in his words that where is no vision the people perish. The devil is a liar using deception to often manipulate illiterate family members without knowledge or understanding of medical biology, body chemistry, health and well-being. And so every death is placed on the targeted victim blamed or ostracised to ease the pain of death. Instead hatred breeds depression, low immunity, disease and heart attack, mental illness or madness. Unforgivingness over years destroys the health of people, as stated, hatred is the poison drank by a person expecting an enemy to die. It kills joy, causes misery and deep anger unleashed on innocent family members or colleagues. Endtime events are fast happening so this is time to ask GOD FOR HIS MERCY, GRACE, COMPASSION, FORGIVENESS, LOVE for yourself and your loved ones in Jesus Name. Jesus taught us to forgive and to receive Forgiveness from God so release people to God. Forgiveness does not mean you become best friend of enemy to hang out with them but it clears your heart from offending God and Jesus and grieving the Holy Spirit. The Bible says all sins will be forgiven except the sins against the Holy Spirit. Lifespan is the will of God so work with God and take of your body, Spirit and soul in Christ. 

 

TRAUMATIC DEATH GRIEF

traumaticbereavement-thirdTraumatic tragic death bereavement is completely unexpected loss, worst form of grief people go through. Suddenly changes lifeplan dramatically, cancels activities so a shock to the system. One minute conversation is taking place about life but the next minute subject changes to unexpected death. It is most painful if the person appeared healthy, full of life with a great future suddenly cut short by death. The numbing shock of loss is hard to sink in and feels that loved one is about to walk through the door home. Seems like a dream, surreal but wide awake with sleepless nights so deep within the heart an overwhelming pain lingers on. Everyday passes by without a text, contact or phone call, facebook so realises it must be really true. Shock is a normal reaction and unbelief deceased person is really no longer with us here on earth. Sudden change of plans means numbness while taking in loss starting to sink in. Though we understand death as part of life it does not make it easier to accept. Death is painful and difficult to experience it hurts beyond belief and complicated. At times pain seems insurmountable but support and a therapy can help to understand, accept and ease the pain. After death of a loved one life is never the same but talking therapy helps to provide skills and tools to assist with creation of the new normal to integrate life into new existence. Annette was on the way to mortuary when Julia phoned to support death of daughter Amber, aged four, who drowned in a swimming pool, and going to see her body. Many people would not call at that moment they feel encroaching on a raw traumatic grief. bottomJulia, friend of couple, a psychotherapist specialises in dealing with loss knows when people in throes of overwhelming grief, sharing the pain is the only thing that makes even the tiniest difference. Grief professionals don’t have endowed special powers its empathy compassion. Phil answered the phone, so Julia liked to say something to make it better but knew nothing could do that, so she said the only thing she could. “I am terribly sorry to hear your daughter, Amber, has died; I’m sorry the devastating pain that has happened to you. How can I help?” 25 years as grief psychotherapist taught Julia great deal about human condition that focus on grief means focus on life, loss exposes things that matters about a person, their strengths and weaknesses. When someone dies, it reveals faultlines in bereaved family, even deepest, most hidden ones. If you know about loss you know about family, about love, survival, resilience and strength. Knowing about loss means you know about life. But there is a paradox at the centre of loss, and it is this. Grief is the most intense pain there is, and we will do anything to avoid pain. So we run away from it; we run away from our own grief, and we run away from others’ grief. Yet, says running away from grief means we will not recover but embracing helps move through the agony and deal with pain. bereavement-and-traumatic-grief-counselling-pinnacle-therapy-counselling-in-london

Allowing ourselves to be while it washes over us, is only way to survive because we have to feel the worst in order to let it change us. Then we can start to find out who we are going to be in wake of it. This is the message at the heart of Julia’s new book, Grief Works. “If you ignore grief and push it down, you can live and you can function, but you live a very narrow emotional life because using emotional energy to cope,” she said. “Everything in psyche will be squashed down, and that means small things can trigger a much bigger kind of effect. The fact is to do the work of grieving. You have to let it run its course. Pain is agent of change; pain allows you to change, it enables you to reach a new reality.” Her book traces journeys of many of the bereaved people she has walked alongside; she describes how she wept and mourned with them. “let clients know what they say has an impact: Tell them when feels shocked, sad or upset,” she says. So talk about relationship with bereaved and a relationship with friends in service of a deceased. Say what you feel if thinking about them if it’s useful to share. One of the many moving stories in her book is that of Bill and Sally, whose 13-year-old son Matthew died of rare virus. Sally tells Julia losing her son has made her feel dead, no more expectations of life; so does not want to go on living. “I said quite plainly, although she was giving up on herself, I refused to; I would fight for her, held her and whispered hidden strength within her said, to live.’ Julia, in 50s, mother of 4 grown up children, grandmother of four, vivacious and fun: has time to feel recharged with life. You know it helps feeling of clients who like Sally regain joy to be alive again. Helps Julia’s interest in answering questions on experiences of traumatic loss to help open hearts for the healing process.17848

There are two sorts of loss, says Julia: expected loss and traumatic loss. And perhaps, for one in her profession, her own losses have all been expected ones. Her father died at 87, sad, grieved but it not traumatic loss. Bereavement work involves charity Birthright, Well-being of Wo/men made her aware of the pain of losing a baby although wonders was unconsciously influenced by parent’s loss of three parents and three siblings by the time they were 25. “Everything seemed OK, but thinks back aware of some unresolved grief. Almost only personal experience of a shocking, out-of-nowhere, loss figures such death brought loss closer and changed how to deal with grief. Julia was a close friend of Princess Diana, a connection echoed when asked by William and Kate to be a godmother to Prince George in 2013. That is, she says, a very joyful role lots of fun, and the chance to enjoy the little boy as he grows up but she doesn’t want to say much about it or Diana, save she agrees her death made difference to the nation’s approach to grief. So, too, she says, did other major shifts of history, especially the first and second world wars. “Our parents, parents of people of my generation, were the generation that couldn’t afford to grieve. Were parented by survivors of first world war simply to survive but modern luxury means able to deal with it differently.”traumaticbereavement-fullwidth

Despite public outpouring of grief after Diana’s death, doesn’t think most people are sufficiently aware impact traumatic bereavement has, the ripples it leaves or how long they persist. As someone who experienced a traumatic loss at the age of nine, when three-year-old sister was killed in road accident agrees with her analysis. It is 44 years since death, and shockwaves still reverberate in the family: everyone is different because of it, next generation touched by it in ways too subtle for them to fully understand.

Traumatic losses shape future of family as subject of great interest to Julia; so, is the way men and women deal with loss differently. Men, tend to want to move on to make plans, to focus on new horizons. Women on other hand want to spend more time remembering the person who died so want to immerse themselves in the pain. But the fact is, each can learn from others. “You have to do both things: you must have time to grieve and mourn and other time when you have break from the grief. You can create circumstances where you grieve, and circumstances where you move on; so men and women help one another. IMG_20180303_141134He can help her go for a walk to a park or gallery can help him talk about how he feels to express some of his loss.” The problems set in when individuals fails to understand the pattern of grief in the other; they think of them as selfish or they don’t care enough, but it isn’t about that due to the different ways of coping. Grieving is an intensely individual and incredibly lonely experience, which can make it difficult time in family, group of people going through something sparked by same event, but is in each case very differentThe way to cope, is be open in communicating feelings to others in your family. Families that fare best share feelings openly when a death disrupts complex finely tuned balance in a family. So needs a reorganised and open approach to help with process.”

At the beginning, and this is especially true of a traumatic loss, the grief is all-consuming: but over time, says Julia, you find you are starting to live again. The mistake some make, though, is believing they can go back to being the way they were. “Some people say, ‘This isn’t going to change us.’ But that’s not how it is: and it’s when you recognise that bereavement is a life-shattering experience, and that you have to grieve and rebuild, that you can move on positively into a new phase of life. originalYou don’t forget the person who’s gone; you can never do that, and you should not worry that you’re going to. But you keep them in memory so their loss helps you become a new person you become; and maybe in the end is greatest tribute to make to anyone who passed to Glory. Grief affects us all so hope in God and read HIS beautiful WORDS in Bible to guide prayers. Powerful scriptures will help you face feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is very normal to feel it is not really true the person is still alive soo will be at home, then in shock, angry they died, hoping the loved one comes back alive, realising they passed on into Glory and finally accepting loss and accepting new unexpected sudden sad changes of life. Crying, weeping, feeling low not eating properly, sad, confused, depressed are all part of feelings of pain, hurt of loss, bereavement, grieving and mourning. It is normal to feel helpless, lost without a loved one with deep sorrow and pain. One helpful action is remember a loved does not want your life destroyed and ruined because of them. They see you in heaven so like you to live and continue life despite feeling changes happening. There’s no shame in being sad. The life we’ve been given was never promised free of pain or sorrow so during times we hurt most run to God and HIS Word for peace and comfort. Psalm 117:7 says God cares about death of the righteous.listingbereavement-jesus-wept

Help from family and friends 

Listening. Be a friend who is prepared to give their time, to listen and to acknowledge the extent of your friend’s loss. Listening is the key. Bear witness, and allow your friend to be upset, to be confused and contradictory, or to say nothing at all. Every time they tell their story once more, or are allowed to say how important the person who has died was, burden of carrying pain on their own is incrementally a little lighter.

It’s not about you. Follow a mourner’s lead: they may not want to talk about their grief right now, or with you. It is good to say something to acknowledge their loss, but then let them have the control they need, they had none over death so choose to talk or not. If they ask you to come and be with them, and want to talk openly to you, go. If they truly don’t want a visit or don’t want to deal with it at that time, don’t force it on them. Don’t confuse need to speak, call, contact, with friend’s need of privacy to come to terms with grief. Some kings or or important dignitaries, leaders buried in secret. Deuteronomy 34:5-7, Numbers 27:13-28 says God buried Moses Himself without gravestone marker, headstone, monument remain unmarked, Israelites not have idol worship. So Moses’ eternal soul rests in peace buried in the Moab valley opposite Beth Peor near Mount Nebo from plains of Moab near top of Pisgah. None knows where Moses’ body buried, concealed in grave stops people flocking to idolise him. In Jude 1:9 angel fought with Michael over Moses’ body, only unique burial by God. Moses’ body soul, alive in Transfiguration met Jesus with Elijah alive from heaven on Mount in Matthew 27:1-10.

loss-300x225 (1)Mourning state of total shock and disorientation exempts you from performing actions requiring attention to detail. Time is given off work at least minimum of 2 weeks plus due holidays to grieve and mourn. Time is needed to sort out paper work, fill in forms and to notify various agencies of the departed. In mourning people wear symbolic or an appropriate colour suitable for the age of the departed. To be able to attend unhindered to funeral arrangements it is important to dress appropriately. The family decided obligated choice agreed on to help support family. Immediately following burial mourning the mourner does not listen to music, go to concerts, does not attend joyous events or parties unless absolutely necessary. If a date set prior to death strictly forbidden or to be postponed cancelled. Week-long period of grief mourning observance referred to by time to grief. During this period all mourners traditionally gather the home and receive visitors. Mourners refrain for a week from showering or bathing, wearing leather shoes, jewelry, shaving. Some communities cover mirrors in the mourner’s home so they not concerned about their personal appearance. It is customary for mourners to sit on low stools or even the floor, symbolic of the emotional reality of being “brought low” by grief. Meal of consolation first meal eaten on return from funeral consists of hard-boiled egg or other round oblong foods. Biblical hospitality means during this seven-day period, family, friends or colleagues visit and call on mourners to comfort them. Is considered great time of kindness, compassion to pay respects to visit the mourners. No greetings are exchanged, visitors wait for mourners to initiate conversation. Mourner is not obliged to engage in a conversation and may completely ignore his/her visitors. Visitors take on hosting role, attending to guests, bringing food and serving it to the mourning family. Mourning family avoids cooking or cleaning during this period. Those responsibilities become that of visitors to ease burden and pain.

8461-grief-ptsd-trauma-mourning-md

Acknowledgment. Death isn’t catching, but those who are bereaved might think so, judging by the fear they see in other people’s eyes. People are frightened about whether to come forward, about what to say, about saying the wrong thing so, in the end say nothing. All of that comes from a belief whatever you say should make things better but have enough wisdom to make the pain more bearable but you can’t or need to. Be kind enough to acknowledge them and their suffering is difficult enough. Offer to be there if they need you, suggesting that they should be the one to ring you, is probably asking too much of your friend at this time. It is better if you take the initiative and make contact, and then follow their lead: they may want to see or speak with you or not. Often, people don’t make contact because they feel they don’t know the bereaved person well enough. If you are erring one way or the other, better to err on the side of making contact.

Practical help. Doing practical things is often what really makes a difference. Don’t say, “Let me know if I can help”; actually do something helpful. At the beginning of a bereavement, there may be a lot of people around, so bringing food may be the best thing you can do. Taking food around for longer than the initial crisis is particularly appreciated.Traumatic-Bereavement-Ind1_m

Honesty. Be honest because honesty is comforting and easy to deal with. So direct honesty helps complex messiness of grief so an enormous relief to people. Be honest about what you actually can do rather than covering up because you feel guilty about what you can’t. And be specific to say, “I’m going to come round for half an hour” or come on Tuesday” don’t say, “I’ll come when you want, tell me, and I’ll be there”, and then find you can’t deliver on that offer.

Be sensitive. Being honest is important, as being sensitive. Promiscuous honesty is not a good idea. Be aware of showing too openly your life is trotting along as happily as can be, feels like you rubbing their nose in your happiness.

Be in it for the long haul. Remember to make contact and be supportive after everyone else has gone. Usually three months following the death, people get back to their lives, as they should. But it is by no means over for the person who is bereaved. Sending a text or popping is hugely supportive.Gay couple hugging and walking in park

Writing. Letters, cards, texts or emails: it doesn’t matter what you write – all are extremely helpful. It is better, however, to say that you don’t want a reply, because some people simply can’t respond. And it is never too late to send them. It is a welcome surprise to receive a card much later, because it is when everyone else has forgotten and your friend is still grieving. When you do write, try to make it personal and avoid tired cliches such as, “She’s had a good innings” or “Better to have loved and lost because they are trite in some way diminish personal importance of this very loved person who died. You don’t need to go into long explanations of why the person died or theological explorations about death; be loving and personal, warm and acknowledging.

RAPTURE ETERNAL RESURRECTION

Believers have assurance of eternal life in Christ so mourn with hope for their resurrection. In the Bible Jesus raised Lazarus from death, widow of Nain son, Peter raised Dorcas, Paul raised young man who fell dead sitting on a window ledge. The dead arose alive when Jesus was crucified and went into town seen by many people. We pray and ask GOD to raise loved one too in Jesus Name so thank God Jesus raised Lazarus. Bible says Christianity lasts beyond earthly life into heaven so mourn and grieve with hope in Jesus Christ. Christians call death falling asleep to pass into glory to be with God. Although grief pain hurts deeply and so feels tragic loss yet know future reunion family circle will be complete in heaven in the Presence of God Almighty. In the Rapture, the dead in Christ will first be resurrected to join those alive together to meet Christ in the clouds into heaven. The signs of the end times are predicted by Jesus in Matthew 24. So death is part of transition into eternal life although it is better to have loved ones on earth as members of a family, God calls them to higher service in heaven. Rest in peace safely beloved in the loving arms of God so no more sorrow, grief, pain, tears we love you and miss you terribly but God LOVES you more. We shall see you one day in Jesus Name for you are delivered because your name is found written in the BOOK OF LIFE according to Daniel 12:1-2. All asleep in Christ in dust of the earth wake to everlasting life in heaven in Glory in GOD’S PRESENCE. The Holy Spirit of God is our Comforter in times like these so we draw strength from the word of God to carry on in life in Jesus Name. GOD Our Father Comforts us too through His Love and Words of comfort from loved ones, friends and family. 

Extract from Grief Works by Julia Samuel

Topics