HAPPY MOTHER HAPPY BABY

The Duchess of Cambridge at Stockwell Gardens Nursery and Pre-SchoolThe duchess appeared on the podcast after visiting children at a nursery in south London

The Duchess of Cambridge has said her parenting inspiration is her “amazing granny” who involved her as a child in arts and crafts, gardening and cooking. In her first podcast interview, she said she wants to replicate experiences with Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis. The episode of Five Big Questions On The Under Fives is survey launched by Catherine starts debate on early childhood has 200,000 responses so far. Speaking on Happy Mum, Happy Baby podcast, Catherine told author and host Giovanna Fletcher the survey aims to ask people “what is it that matters for them in raising their children today.” I had amazing granny who devoted a lot of time to us, playing with us, doing arts and crafts and going to the greenhouse to do gardening, and cooking with us,” she said. I incorporate lot of experiences she gave us at the time into experiences I give my children now.” The duchess said her priorities include providing her children with a “happy home” and “safe environment” she enjoyed as a child. So she is “passionate” about the children spending a lot of time outside is “great for physical and mental wellbeing to lay foundations for a healthy development. The Duchess of Cambridge and Giovanna FletcherIt is the first timeIt’s a great environment to spend time in, building quality relationship without distraction of ‘I’ve got to cook’ or ‘I’ve got to do this’. And actually, it’s so simple,” she said. A generational change starts from seeds sown in early years throughout family. Even if not ‘highly educated,’ one can invest time and resources in simple way to help children to be happy. Its possible to help children to progress beyond the parents by preparing them in the early years. Choices and priorities of focus to include learning materials from nature found free outdoors on walks to create opportunities for children. So it is the responsibility of the parents to help the children early not to depend entirely on schools for all learning experiences in life. A month-long online poll conducted by Ipsos Mori on behalf of Catherine’s Royal Foundation is to “spark a national conversation” on early childhood as the Kensington Palace has said. Launched in January, it is thought to be the biggest survey of its kind and the results are intended to guide duchess’ future workIMG-20200307-WA0002Its the first time duchess is interviewed on a podcast. “It takes family a long time for generational change but hopefully is a first small step: to start a conversation around importance of early childhood development,” Catherine said. “It’s not just about happy, healthy children. This has lifelong consequences of outcomes.” Ms Fletcher, married to Tom Fletcher from McFly has said Kate is “passionate” about the subject. Its ‘beyond wonderful to sit and talk further about the survey, and her work for she has so much real knowledge, and her own experiences of being a mother.” “It doesn’t matter who you are, what you have, or where you come from we’re all try to do our best with our children while continuously learning from decisions and wondering if we get it right. Talking helps unite us all,” she said on the ‘five big questions.’The Duchess of Cambridge at Stockwell Gardens Nursery and Pre-School1. What do you believe is most important for children growing up in UK today to live a happy adult life? Rank from most important to least important:

  • Good physical and mental health
  • Good friendships & relationships
  • Access to opportunities
  • Access to a good education

2. Which of these statements is closest to your opinion?

  • It is primarily the responsibility of parents to give children aged 0-5 best chance of health & happiness
  • Primarily responsibility of others in society to give children aged 0-5 best chance of health & happiness
  • Shared responsibility of parents or others in society to give children aged 0-5 best chance of health and happiness
  • Don’t know

3. How much do you agree or disagree with this statement? Mental health or wellbeing of parents, carers has a great impact on development of child(ren).

  • Strongly agree
  • Tend to agree
  • Neither agree nor disagree
  • Tend to disagree
  • Strongly disagree

4. Which of the following is closest to your opinion of what influences how children develop from the start of pregnancy to age five?

  • Traits child is born with (nature)
  • Experiences of a child in the early years (i.e. nurture)
  • Both nature and nurture equally
  • Don’t know

5. Which period of a child and young person’s life do you think is the most important for health and happiness in adulthood?

  • Start of pregnancy to five years
  • 5-11 years (primary school)
  • 11-16 years (secondary school)
  • 16-18 years (further education)
  • 18-24 years (young adulthood)
  • Don’t know
  • All equally important

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Duchess of Cambridge says ‘amazing granny’ inspires her parenting

UK

MODERN CHILDCARE NEEDS

Andy Shelley and babyAndy Shelley says his time on parental leave was “eye-opening.” Following the release of a poll which suggested 27% of mothers did not enjoy their maternity leave as much as they thought they would, parents have been sharing their experience of parental leave – both good and bad. Some people got in touch after following BBC Radio 5 Live presenter Emma Barnett’s open and honest account of her time away from work looking after her baby son, a time which she described as being “bloody hard and at times, lonely.” So what’s it like to be the one who stays at home and looks after the baby? Three parents share their very different experiences. The good, the bad and unexpected child care needs. ‘I thought my partner was just off work.’ Andy Shelley’s girlfriend gave birth to their daughter in March and the couple decided to take shared parental leavePrior to making choice, Andy’s partner had been looking after their daughter while he worked 12-hour days. “It was difficult because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough,” he says. Thirty-year-old Andy took over full-time care for two months in July, but admits he was not aware just how much work was involved in staying home and looking after his daughter. “Initially I thought parental leave would be a nice break from work but it wasn’t easy. “Some days she would be upset and I just didn’t know what to do. Your entire day revolves around feeds. It becomes a full-time job in itself. “I would be happy when my partner came home from work as it meant I could have a break.” The Stoke-On-Trent resident says his experience of parental leave was important as he realised how much his girlfriend had been doing when he thought she was “just off work.” “It made me appreciate everything she had done and ultimately cemented my relationship with my daughter. “It’s a shame more fathers don’t take parental leave as it really opens your eyes and you realise what your partner deals with.”‘I made sure I kept busy’Sandrine Charpentier and her two daughtersSandrine Charpentier said “clear vision” for her maternity leave and made sure its “wonderful experience.” Sandrine Charpentier, from Hayes in Kent, says her maternity leave with both of her daughters, now aged six and nine, was a “really positive experience.” Despite not knowing many people where she lived, Sandrine made sure she wasn’t isolated by booking a different activity every day. “We would do baby swimming, yoga, singing and play groups. It motivated me to get dressed and get out of the house. “The whole time I was really tired but I thought that was just part of the job. “It was great to meet people, be social and talk about our experiences. I was really happy during that time and it was great for my daughters.” As much as she enjoyed her maternity leave, the mum-of-two admits it was nice to return to work. “Being at work was like a holiday because I was free to do what I wanted. I didn’t have somebody glued to me all the time. “It was good to do something different, to meet people and not talk about nappies and babies all the time.” ‘It’s difficult to be accepted as a stay-at-home dad’Child playingPeople were shocked when Craig Smith said he was going to be a stay-at-home father Craig Smith, 42 in Staffordshire became stay-at-home dad to daughter, Matilda, in January when she was eight months old. His wife has a high-level job so they decided that it would be best for him to give up work and focus on their daughter’s early years. “I was very up for the challenge as I’ve always wanted children, but I didn’t really think about what was involved in being a full-time dad. “Sometimes it’s hard because all Matilda wants is her mum.” Craig says his experience made him realise there is not enough support for stay-at-home dads. “I tried to integrate with local playgroups, but the mums can be quite cliquey and it’s very difficult for a dad to be accepted. “A lot of mum-and-baby groups say fathers are welcome but in reality it’s not like that – the mums can be quite cold.” Craig is planning on going back to work part-time when Matilda starts nursery, but says he feels anxious at the prospect of returning to normality. “It feels like my brain has been conditioned to sing to Peppa Pig or nursery rhymes. The thought of carrying out serious and responsible tasks within a role kind of scares me.

Good, bad, unexpected childcare needs

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Related Internet links

  • Shared Parental Leave and Pay – GOV.UK

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COOKING, WASHING, TAMES

Man holding babyCooking, washing clothes, cleaning and childcare, tames men who once thought it was only the women’s job. Like most men, Jean Pierre 32 lives in Mwulire in Eastern Province in Rwanda and leaves domestic chores to his wife. Impatient, angry, demands perfection due to lack of awareness that a woman’s job is 24/7 so never ends day or night. He becomes aggressive if his wife did not meet the standards of his expectations so beats her. A grassroots intervention program trying to reduce domestic violence in Rwanda teaches men how to do household chores, and a recent study suggested it has a positive effect on communities. So Muhoza Jean Pierre used to beat his wife because he saw her as someone he married just to have children and and look after them. “I was following example of my father. My father did not do anything at home,” he said. “If ever I came home and found something not done yet I insult her. “I called her lazy, told her she was useless so must go back to her parent’s house.” But something changed after he learnt to cook and clean. It was all part of a grassroots intervention programme in Mwulire village in Eastern Province, Rwanda encouraging men’s domestic roles, including childcare. Jean Pierre says the project called, ‘Bandebereho’ or role model in Kinyarwanda helps tamed and transformed his behaviour. He took part in classes covering everything from cooking and cleaning and discuss how to challenge men’s traditional gender roles. “They asked, if a man can sweep the house, and we would say ‘he can’,” he said. “And then they would ask us: ‘Who among you does that?’ And there was no one.”Man cooking next to his wife

Real men shouldn’t cook

Facilitators from ‘Bandebereho’ taught Jean Pierre how to do tasks previously he believed his wife should do. He also added: “We would go home and try to put this into practice. “Then we would go back to training with witnesses who would testify they had observed some changes in us. “I know how to cook. I do laundry for the kids. I know how to peel plantains, I know how to pound dry cassava and sift the flour.” Jean Pierre and his wife have been married for 10 years and never helped her before. And making changes was not easy as Jean Pierre’s friends discouraged him from doing household tasks, telling him: ‘No real man should cook.’ “My family and friends said my wife bewitched me by giving me some magic drugs. They said no genuine man should carry a bundle of firewood in the street because that is for henpecked men,” he said. But Jean Pierre continued when he saw benefits to his family. He says his children feel closer to him and his wife now runs a banana business that has allowed them to improve their home. “The way my wife treats me now is different from the way she used to treat me,” he said. “She used to treat me badly because I was mistreating her too, but now we discuss and agree on things to do. “I set her free, now she is working and I am working too; whereas before I was convinced she had to stay home and be available whenever I would need her.” Fear and little freedom affected Jean Pierre’s wife Musabyimana Delphine who says she used to have little freedom and lived in fear. She said: “Sometimes I felt like a mere worker, and I would remember a worker has a salary. “I never thought a woman can ever have her own money, because I never even had time to think about any activity that generate money. “Now I have enough freedom in house, I go out and work for money like others. Start training young boys now so when they grow up they will help their wife and help look after the children. When both work, it’s a burden on the woman to care for the family or children alone.man washing a plateThe ‘Bandebereho’ project taught Jean Pierre to do tasks previously believed his wife should do. Delphine leaves at 5am to sell plantains at a market, while Jean Pierre stays at home and takes care of their four young children. “I come home relaxed and find food ready,” she said. The project’s curriculum originally developed in Latin America by global fatherhood campaign MenCare believes true equality will only be reached when men take on 50% of world’s childcare and domestic work. The research looks into changing men’s attitudes towards family care and traditional domestic. It was soon realised the good impact on men. A study looking at couples taking part in the project found two years after taking childcare lessons in Rwanda men were less likely to use violence against their female partners than those who did not attend the classes. But the study suggested one in three women whose partners took part in the programme still reported experiencing intimate partner violence. National Institute of Statistics of Rwanda, released a data in 2015, around 52% of men in the country were violent towards partners. Rwanda Men’s Resource Centre, which delivered the programme in the country, wants ‘Bandebereho’ to be widely adopted by communities and country’s government. Fidele Rutayisire the chairman of centre, said: “We still have negative social norms, negative masculinity perception cultural barriers as main factors of high violence against women in Rwanda. “Traditionally men don’t take care of children here but men control sex, resources, decision-making. “When men are actively involved in the home they realise sacrifices of women in childcare so their attitude on gender changes positively, they understand the value of gender equality.” Delphine and Jean Pierre said the program benefited their family and the whole community. “We are now on honeymoon, 10 years after our wedding,” said Jean Pierre. If there is conflict or security issue in our neighbourhood our opinion is respected because they see we don’t have problem in our household. Men appreciate and help their wives and not demand they do all the housework or take care of the family, business, Church alone without support of husbands. A happy wife is a happy life and the Bible says love your wife as Christ loved His bride Church and gave His life for you. Timothy says a husband must first look after his family and own household before serving the Church. Don’t neglect your wife and the children in the NAME OF GOD leisurely talking to single women while your wife and children at home suffer. Remember your wife is that same beautiful single woman you married and used her body to give birth to your children. And don’t abandon her for fresh young woman to give birth later to become abandoned as wife. This causes baby mama problems because men want to eat their cake and have it. So wants exclusive attention of wife at the expense of the children some are jealous of. Forget their parents took great care of them as done to children. Grow up and be father to the children to mature a responsible man not manchild depending on wife as mother. For even the Son of Man Jesus did not come to be served but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many says Mark 10:45.

  • 27 November 2018
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