WOMEN & MEN FRIENDSHIPS

1033.gifWomen have intense close friendships, men tend not to have that according to Professor Dunbar, the Psychologist Professor at Oxford University. Professor Dunbar found women view best friend relationships in between sisters and soul mates. Men tend to see theirs purely in terms of the convenience. He came to this conclusion by exploring how people’s friendship circles changed when they left school for university. So what determined original friendships or whether they survived long-term? Did women make effort to talk more to each other on the phone as explored? And did “talking have any absolute effects on mens’ relationships at all? For men it was doing stuff together that held close friendships together. Doing activities like going to a football match or the pub for a drink, playing five a side was more meaningful to men. They made effort if was such an activity.” He looked at the differences between the sexes and said women clearly have much more intense close friendships than men. Men tend not to have that sort of relationship but they tend to have a group of four men they do such stuff with. So relationship is much more casual. With men it is out of sight out of mind. They just find four more guys to go drinking with.”The cast of Channel 4's university-themed sitcom Fresh Meat The cast of Channel 4’s university-themed sitcom Fresh Meat. This will be familiar to any woman who has had both the pleasure and disappointment of close male friend particularly in their twenties and thirties. At first, things are wonderful. Life is full of great catch ups, and laughter over pints of beer. They listen to your woes and you help them with their woman problems. It is the friendship neither knew needed. Only then, something changes. They start a new relationship. They move to a new postcode really not very far. They get a new job with a ready-made social life. They get a new flatmate. Whatever the change they suddenly have the new set of replacement ready and can’t seem to find the time to meet you for that coffee. You, naively, keep trying. You call them, you send jokey pictures and do exactly what you will do if that was a girlfriend growing distant: bombard her with the attention you wish she was showing you. Except with a male friend, it just does not work. Whether it is nature or nurture, most men simply do not view friendships in the same way as women. Gender is hardly the issue it is practical problem of how much time and effort they put into a platonic relationship. As the study says, there’s always another drinking buddy around the corner. Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with BenefitsJustin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with Benefits. Men reading this may feel unfairly judged. So I put it to a colleague and current male friend let’s be honest, the second we stop sharing a desk, I will never hear from him again. “Some of my best friends are women,” he says vaguely. When I ask if the effort he made with friends is comparable to that his girlfriend makes with hers, he begrudgingly accepts that he could not spend hours on the phone with his pals of either gender. He lost count of the male friends who have disappeared over the years. Often, it coincides with the arrival of a new girlfriend. But contrary to popular interpretation, it is rarely to do with that new girlfriend’s jealousy. As one former male friend charmingly told me: “I have to hear all my girlfriend’s emotional stresses now. I don’t have time for yours.” With male mates like that it is probably no surprise all efforts go into his female friendships. And now academics backed my choice.tmg-article_default_mobile

Steps To recover friends

  • Stop pre-empting: Sometimes we are anxious when we do not need to be and it creates conflicts with friends in our heads. Your friend may be sitting thinking the same thing; not think anything is wrong.
  • Do not be consumed by guilt: Often you feel guilty or embarrassed you did not make contact for a while. This is what is getting in the way, try not to hold onto these feelings.
  • Face conflicts that arise: If your friendships is worthwhile you should be willing to fix them, ask what has gone wrong, what their position may be to work  solution.
  • Set objectives: Once you have discussed the issues don’t let them drag on, make a decision to move forward and set practical ways of keeping in touch and letting the other know you care.
  • Find positive aspects: Friendship may take on a different form with distance allows space to see things objectively. You may be able to help each other more, to make use of the distance when you can.

SALMON CHRISTIAN

A salmon clears a weir at Hexham Bridge on the River Tyne as shown by North News Pictures. This hurdle feat reminds us of athletes jumping over hurdles in sports competition. It seems impossible for natural habitat fish to fly but with God all things are possible. Christian believers find themselves in situations of hurdles of impossibilities. Yet with faith and inbuilt ability, seemingly impossible circumstances become possible. Unrealistic fear as false evidence appears real, trying to prevent leap of faith by believers like salmon in picture. Some natural issues scream impossible yet a supernatural mind filled with the Mind of Christ Jesus takes action.      

On occasions believers spiritually are like salmon heading in the opposite direction. When the strong current flows downstream pulling all things along in its way, the salmon literary jumps upwards uphill. The salmon discovered other fish float along the river driving all things in its path in search of greener pastures. Meanwhile the rich nutrients uphill were abandoned and not fully explored. Adventure into the unknown by thrilling seeking fish means current resources available are not optimized. Therefore, the school of fish floats downhill without much effort but goes with the flow. As a result, other fish carried by the river compete for less- resources downhill. Often, the rich mineral nutrient left behind in rush feeds salmon on abandoned rich omega 5 nutrients.

The adversary, often lurks in the same vicinity looking for those to devour. While the salmon is busy minding its own business along its way upstream, the bear decides to enter the water to sustain itself on any one in their path. As the world moves on to adapt to fast pace modernization, Christian roots face adversity. Some abandon or blend faith with new alternatives which seem better options, more appealing, trendy, sophisticated to fit with the in-crowd on the broad way. New paradigm shifts cause sudden halt to previously tried and tested methods over time in the name of progress. Sooner or later, something happens so whole project is abandoned in search of new ones. Like salmon fishing in Yemen, for cinephiles who really appreciate film it is probably as comedy creating the impossible. 

This is an opportunity to take stock of life and reassess options. The challenge is prioritize and re-evaluate own life to see what is the purpose for living. Is it just to live, eat, sleep,work, party, and repeat the cycle by reproducing new generations to repeat the cycle. The salmon travels upwards back to its rich source of resources to spawn, to produce or lay eggs in water. Similarly, the believer flows upstream in the river of life through the living water Christ Jesus, to reconnect to God the rich source of life. The Christian faces the choice to make a decision to flow with God. Therefore it is necessary to redeem the time, watching and alert in prayer in Jesus Name. To cause something new to happen by new thinking to develop or begin to produce new lifestyle. To recreate life this way is called being born again through Christ accepting salvation to renew covenant with God.

In the salmon dance a friend teaches another unfamiliar fun techniques and facts about salmon. In brand new dance, the beat is made with puffer fish inflating and deflating in time to the pulse. In God’s Kingdom, Jesus is the ultimate fisher of all sorts of mankind, saving variety of fishes. Like a journey in life, modern man, Christian believers face challenges, while doing the right thing suitable for its best interest and survival.  There are so many victories to be won before Christ returns for rapture and second coming for ultimate victory and prize for the Christian believer. In recognition of  power of Holy Spirit remember Christian roots, values, practices over time for the sake of God’s new trends. As a brand new creation and mighty man of valour search for right timing possible opportunity for Christian renewal, to transform, renew mind and lifestyle through regeneration and rebirth like the salmon upstream.

 

So while some salmon Christian may swim against the current, others may choose to live on land farmed in special tanks and restricted but turning out as salmon all the same. To prove my point, others may wear distinctive created salmon design label dresses or just look at Sofia Vergara in this Vera Wang salmon gown at the Emmys. I know she looks fresh, glowing, and dreamy in any color. The salmon jacket keeps warm in cold temperatures. Still some may choose salmon shoes to equip them along the way on land to tread carefully outside the waters. Sometime ago the “Thrift Shop” singer took to instagram to debut the North West ‘King Salmon’ M 10 for fans, in warm bright colours. It is said you are what you eat or wear so salmon gets bright colour from shrimps eaten. So, what one stays around gets into one’s system. Believers were first called Christians in Antioch due to the beauty of Christ Jesus seen in them, reflected by their faith practice, confidence, trust in God and actions that made lasting impressions on people.

REGENERATE LIFE

tree-by-river-pmRegenerate life to transform and renew lifestyle as Psalm 1 in the Bible describes Christians. Believers as living trees planted by living water Jesus Christ shall not be moved. So bear good fruit in old age to bloom and blossom no matter what life throws at them daily. Highly blessed favoured trees, bear good fruit of righteousness as God’s tree of life multiplies. The living tree planted by riverside benefits from constant nutrient supply. A living tree provides oxygen for fresh air, breathing programme by God. Trees take in carbon dioxide to make plant food stored in roots food chain. Being planted rooted, grounded flourishes, grows better than trees found in hard dry desert wilderness place drought to shield as shade.

treeA living tree is good source of food, fruits yet lasts for a long time. Some trees live beyond a 1000 years and turns later into plywood used for homes, timber logging, furniture, fire wood. Others need time to dry up to be processed in new roles changes of life. After years trees, change state, condition to beautiful flourishing houses and homes. This becomes a dwelling place for family or holiday resort for vacation. Some are chopped into log pieces for firewood to warm the people living in the home. After demise turns into a blessing of wood for a house. Or changes into shelter, shade as natural time frame comes up.

Some perfumed trees like lady of the night give sweet fragrance perfume scent at night. Others processed burn to give relief to people stressed and pressured in life. God regenerates tree life again to rebound to make all things work together for good. Even dead wood does impossible to become possible to shield life from the elements. Similarly, metaphorically speaking, believer’s life is transformed under pressure, stress, pain, agony, trauma, under fire overcomes challenges to restart by faith. Assured God controls life God Knows what is best for mankind. A tree successfully completes purpose in life regenerates to lovely musical instrument of joy. Dead wood recreates harp for astounding maestro music celebrations.

Heaven_Harp_by_VassanthaRenewed tree’s strength is put into new shoots and branches; either it will rise up to produce new sprouts as the willow, alder tree, others; reported cypress tree, when cut down, may sprout  more.When passed from earth soul goes to Heaven among the saints worshipping God. So soul winning by believers who wins souls is wise according to Proverbs 11:30. The Cross of Christ is the most priceless piece of wood that ever blessed mankind yet was made from dead wood. Although considered of no use, the piece of a rejected dead wood played its greatest part in salvation history.

Our sins are forgiven, and our hearts renewed to holiness, heaven will be the rest of our souls, while our bodies are hidden in the grave from the malice of our enemies, feeling no more pain from our corruptions, or our corrections.  The wooden cross carried our Saviour Christ Jesus to fulfil His Mission and destiny on earth to save us with His precious blood. Believers planted by the living water Jesus Christ will resurrect again eternally forever in Heaven in the Presence of God and Christ.

 

The life of man may fitly be compared to the waters of a land flood, which spread far, but soon dry up. All Job’s expressions here show his belief in the great doctrine of the resurrection. Job’s friends proving miserable comforters, he pleases himself with the expectation of a change. At times, God allows changes and challenges to reprocess people into His Plans, Purposes and Thoughts Which are Higher and Greatern than human ones. Moses Turning the Aaron's Staff into a Serpent Nicolas Poussin

The Christian life is versatile as living trees regenerate, restore, recreate, resurrect live to fulfil God’s miracle test. Similarly, Christian believers spread the word of God so Jesus saves lost souls refreshed and replenished by the Holy Spirit and nurtured by the word of God. Aaron’s rod buds, blossoms with flowers in the Bible as ordained by God.

download (6) Moses’ rod turns into a serpent that swallowed smaller Egyptian ones. God’s power redeemed Jewish slaves when God Showed Superior Weapons of warfare with rod which swallowed the little snakes of magicians of Egypt before Pharaoh.  The Christian life is versatile so God treats, regenerates, restores, recreates and resurrects life again. Stitched PanoramaTrees are processed into books including the most read book the Bible. Can be reprocessed as woodchip for gardening, sculptures for places and play grounds,

Some trees are used across footpath rivers,   ceilings, tiles or logs. They are perfectly and safely constructed into playground furniture to give fun to children.

Dead wood is used for entertaining relaxing times for playground furniture or becomes boat transport fit for royalty.

Wood is transformed into a boat just as Johan Huiber in Netherlands in 2007 rebuilt Noah’s ark. 3345748822_f632de81fe Noah used wood to build the ark to rescue his family from floods to save humanity for God in extreme cases becomes fed up with people beyond redemption like Sodom and Gomorrah but saves those who love and obey Him. In the picture below a fallen tree amazingly

Magic Tree on the day it blew down

Podocarpus elongatus, the 'Magic Tree' in November 2011

In 1984, this tree was blown down in a severe storm that many still remember, and its remains were felled and removed. Then, on a day of gale force winds, in November 2005, the remaining yellowwood was split in half. Because it was still rooted, and because the Breede River Yellowwood is able to resprout and recover from damage like this so we decided to save it. The exposed roots were covered with soil, a portion of the crown was cut back and some of the boughs braced. It suffered sunburn but survived and sent out strong new shoots. Growth recovery is a slow process but doing well. The children may have lost a tree for now, but in a few decades it will be back, bigger and better than before! PlantZAfrica.com Go to plant information website on Podocarpus elongatus and other South African yellowwoods.

galah-pair-at-nesting-hole-in-dead-tree

In Job 14:7-15 though a tree is cut down, yet, in a moist situation, shoots come forth, and grow up as a newly planted tree. For there is hope of a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again if it cut down to the root, and only the stump of the root is left in the ground, as the tree in Nebuchadnezzar’s dream, Daniel 4:15 yet the owner of it may entertain a hope it is not destroyed but will bud out or logged so mundane tasks become fun times as seen here.
Unless in one place, in Aenaria; but since this is the case of some, it is sufficient to Job’s purpose and that the tender branch thereof will not cease; from shooting out; or its suckers will not cease which may be observed frequently to grow out of the roots of trees, those cut down, such as mentioned.So trees create times of refreshing by camp fires. Some become a place of shelter for animals who dwell in them. People cut up bamboo shoots and other trees for jugs and mugs as seen in picture.

Trees also regenerate to produce mushrooms sprout growing naturally. No situation in life is beyond repair although it may take on a different regenerated shape as wood carvings, mortar, pestles, woodwork is  useful so sustains life within the plans and purposes of God for mankind. Still useful purpose of uniting the community to celebrate good times so God uses people for team work to rebuild His Kingdom.

 

 

 

 

Dead logs become safe footpaths to keep the path clean and easy to walk on. The live tree become a pole without leaves, buds, branches, fruits etc. Wood becomes centre of focus for campsite stools, barbecues, toasting marsh mellows with joy laughter listening to stories.

plant-nursery-mekong-deltaWood stumps for footpath landscaping, Amazon rainforest, Peru - stock photo

Trees are replaced with from nursery young shoots, sprouted, replanted as new trees so we replenish the earth by replanting trees to save the environment.