Superfast fibreoptic internet is built by farmer’s wife Christine Conder for 2,300 members, rural community Lancashire as a revolutionary internet pioneer. Her DIY solution solved neighbour’s internet connectivity problems in 2009 evolved into B4RN internet service provider of a faster gigabit per second broadband speed to parishes in picturesque Lune Valley. Is 35 times faster than 28.9 Mbps UK speed internet connection according to Ofcom. Began when trees separating Chris’ neighbouring farm from nearest wireless mast only internet connection provided by Lancaster University grew too tall. Something more robust was required and no alternatives available Chris decided to take matters into her own hands. She purchased a kilometre of fibre-optic cable and commandeered her farm tractor to dig a trench. After lighting the cable, the two farms were connected, with hers feeding the one behind the trees. “We dug it ourselves and we lit the cable ourselves and we proved that ordinary people could do it she says. It was not rocket science just 3 days of hard work. Her motto she often repeats in conversation, is JFDI. Three of those letters stand for Just Do It. The fourth is work out for yourself.Fibre optic cable cattle grid. And JFDI she has. B4RN now claims to have laid 2,000 miles 3,218km of cable connected to string of local parishes to its network. It won’t connect a single household, so the entire parish has to be on board before begins to build. Each household pays £30 per month, £150 connection fee, larger businesses pay more. And households must do some installation themselves. The entire infrastructure is fibre-optic cable right to the property than just to cabinet with existing copper phone lines running to home generally offered by British Telecom. The service is so popular the company has work lined up for next 10 years and people from as far as Sierra Leone attended the open days held couple of times a year. The bulk of work is done by volunteers although there are now 15 paid staff on board. Farmers give access to their land and those with equipment like diggers and tractors do the heavy work. Other landowners can charge B4RN complain on Facebook page about price of cabling under a disused railway bridge owned by Highways England. A spokesperson told BBC standard industry cost include a £4,500 fee for surveying, legal fees and price per metre for cable installation. So B4RN has yet to make profit once it pays back shareholders it should be in good financial health although on condition profits ploughed back into community. Chris’ services to rural broadband have recognised by the Queen was awarded an MBE in 2015, alongside Barry Forde, a retired university lecturer who now leads the co-operative.Newborn cattle registered online within 5days in UK. Incredibly B4RN customers had been surviving on dial-up services or paying high fees for satellite feeds. So Chris says some still do. As farmers now register online with the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) within 5 days of every calf being born to enter food chain, connectivity is vital. “All the farmers who have not got broadband have to rely on land agents or auction marts or public wi-fi spaces which we haven’t got round here either, or paying somebody to do it,” says Chris. Farmers finding dial-up just could not cope with it. They bought satellites, but children use all satellite feed for things and when they came to use it at night there was no feed left, gone over data and they were being charged a fortune for what they then used. “So the farmers have been incredibly supportive of this and that is why they have given us free rein throughout the fields, which we go through to connect them and then we get to the villages which subsidise the farmers’ connections. “You could not do it for farmers alone, but you could not get to the village without farmers so it is win win.Independent fibre broadband providers like Gigaclear serve 50,000 customers in several UK counties and Hyperoptic is active in 13 cities. They all claim to offer 1Gbps speeds. “The best way to make sure this country has faster up to date internet is support alternative networks says Chris. “When there is competition BT will then up their game. “We cannot do the whole country. BT, Virgin etc are good businesses, they are in it to make profit, as businesses do.” Openreach, currently a division of BT, owns the UK’s largest broadband infrastructure. Big picture is a plan alongside government to get 95% UK fibre coverage,” said Kim Mears, Openreach’s managing director of Infrastructure Delivery. The provider upgraded 90 small Community Fibre Partnership, set up to work in areas it describes as “hard to reach.” Ms Mears appealed to those struggling with poor connectivity to make contact. A lot to gain if communities come together we are really here to help,” she said.
A group of adults asked question, what is love? GOD IS LOVE so Love God First, love yourself next, love neighbours and others as yourself. Jesus answered same question on love in Matthew 22:36-40. Most important commandment in whole Bible is to Love God with all your heart, your whole soul, whole mind, your whole strength and to love your neighbour as yourself. This love command of God is confirmed in Mark 12:28-32 by Jesus’ answer to, of all commandments which is the most important one? Answer to young man Love God and love your neighbours. On love, Hear Oh Israel and all nations grafted in, LOVE GOD for God is Love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says, Love is patient, love is kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonour others, is not self-seeking, not arrogant or rude. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. If one speaks in tongues of men or angels but does not love, one is resounding gong or clanging cymbal. If one has gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries, all knowledge, and faith to move all mountains but does not have love God’s True Love is not in you. This important and relevant question of discussions includes many clarifications. As it soon clears various issues of man’s concepts of love. With so many self-help books and psychological definitions love is simplified into 4 essential categories following original Greek understanding of love. In broader context love extends to includes Godly perspective definition of love. Love is special inner emotion to understand if one is truly fully prepared to work at it for good success. Although most people believe that love revolves around the heart, it is actually occurring in the brain. Thought processes activate love in a good way or in lustful concepts. Artists, poets and painters epitomize heart as love symbol but it is the brain generating chemical signals to make people understand love. Different forms and styles of expressing love as described by Ancient Greeks are 4 terms being agape, phileo-philia-philos, storge, eros. To symbolize these 4 let us look at the 4 loves in details as follows.
Agape – Godly Love
Agape love is rooted and grounded in God as the Source of Love through Christ dwelling in your hearts by faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, can comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God in Ephesians 3:17-19. To attain agape love one has to be connected to God through Christ the Vine and believer as the branch. Love of God flows through Christ to enable, equip, to achieve agape love. It is impossible to achieve agape love by mankind’s own personal efforts without God in the heart at the centre of life. Each created person by God has God’s Spirit of Love Naturally inborn in mankind. The capacity to share agape love is enhanced by obedience to God’s word to love God, yourself and neighbour as yourself. Neighbour includes all people, family, loved ones and enemies. Jesus said agape love must be extended to love for enemies. Agape love is deepened by praying together, reading and studying the Bible as a family unit. God gave Christ, the first unconditional love that sees beyond outer surface to accept recipient for whom they are, regardless of flaws, shortcomings or faults. It’s the type of love everyone strives to have for fellow human beings. Although you may not like someone, you decide to love them just as a human being. Agape love is sacrifice giving so expects nothing in return. Agape is real life love action demonstrates good deeds behaviour towards others. Agape Godly Love is committed, inbuilt, so not influenced by circumstances of life or others or changed by people’s response.
These phileo- philia- philos love refers to affectionate, warm, tender platonic love. It makes you desire friendship with someone. Philos love activates and livens demonstration of agape love. Philos is selective love because one feels naturally more drawn towards certain people than others. So cannot always explain why you may not have a phileo love for the same people. Therefore you feel more connected to someone better than others. It is a committed and chosen love than can last throughout life based on location, duration, situation, proximity or distance if nurtured long-term. Philos can be affected by background history, understanding of emotions, mutual respect, life experiences, may be gender related or have shared goals. One seems to identify better with philos because of appealing nature or common interests. Qualities of love is seen in actions and behaviour but with clear boundaries. Friendship lines are not blurred by friends with benefits.
Storge- Family Love
Family love of compassion, caring, nurturing, friendship that parents naturally feel for their children. Storge is a unique often blood affection that related members of the family have for each other. This is enhanced by mutual family traditions, living together. Eating together, sharing chores and generational activities create healthy interaction than lasts for years. Although blood related, storge also includes adopted family members. Storge again is long – term friendships closer than a brother. Or through years of schooling together and living in a neighbourhood so feel for each other. In some cases, storge friendship love may ultimately become part of a blood related family. Others develop into romantic relationship but the couple were at first best friends. Storge love is unconditional, accepts flaws, faults ability to forgive. Knowing each other first before passion helps commit with better understanding of family sacrifices so feels secure, comfortable and safe.Eros- Romantic Love
Eros is the most popular concept of love known by people because it is passionate, intense romantic love. Erotic love triggers indulgent high feelings in new relationship to declare love. It is intimate, emotional, sexual love, originally exclusively intended by God within marriage. God said it is not good to be alone so God gave Adam a wife and companion to help meet each other’s needs. Although romantic love is important in the beginning of a new relationship, it is not the only factor to depend on for life in a relationship. Eros sexual, self- serving, tunnel vision, love alone is not enough to fulfil other real demands of matured nitty-gritty love long – term. This may not last unless it moves a notch higher. It is usually based on personal self- interest gratification so focuses more on self instead of the other person. So if erotic love is the only foundation of the relationship, then it fizzles out when the honeymoon is over. It is important to feel good in relationship to love partner steadfastly. This is a broad general understanding and description of love which promotes good, healthy and progressive relationship. In any relationship, you should have all these four loves working together to enable it survive for a longer time. In some cases a relationship may be long-lasting if partners share similar views on love. Opposites do attract too, so compassion, understanding, care, emotional support, active listening, empathy, two-way relationship.
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To celebrate life means to acknowledge life to the full to commemorate as seen on TV This is your life program. Harry Hill is person nominated by loved ones but kept in the dark. Contact is kept with utmost secret with all relatives, loved ones, colleagues, class mates. All suitable relevant appropriate necessary information is collected to celebrate and honour him as the person chosen. It is so efficiently organised the chosen person remains unawares of things go on behind their back. Photographs or past interesting memorabilia are put together into a book. The date is set so all invited gather together to really surprise. During meeting all turns out well to celebrate life. There is an after party to eat and celebrate the person given the book documenting childhood throughout to adult life. This is one of best programs showing true understanding of meaning of life. As it is important to celebrate life daily as much as possible with family, friends, loved ones. Above all to remember to thank and Glorify God Giver of life.
One may not need to go on TV necessarily to celebrate life but it is good to remember to honour family and friends at some point in their life time in their presence. Most people seem however to put more effort into celebrating after life. Hence funerals become big party events with lots of preparation of earthly treasures stored for future use in graves. Most of the treasures are useful in preserving past history to show creative artworks. Like these Staffordshire hoard artefacts of 3500 gold shields, swords, belts etc seen here. These items are supposed to help equip the owner to enjoy the after life. Pyramids have been built for burial with gold, wealth accumulating belongs to the dead in expectation of use in next life. Gems and gold sit in piles for thousands of years on dusty floors found in tombs of the Egyptian pyramids among others.
The size of graves increased according to status and wealth. In the obelisks were complete tombs with mummified bodies that intrigued the world. The golden intricate riches setting of tropical luxury wealth made from plunder and tribute. The treasures include jewelry befitting status, stature of king, swords, daggers, weapons and cosmetics. Tomb content include vessels, vases of gold, jewelry, gold art works, sceptres, trinkets, diamonds, topaz, beads, headrests, chairs, stools, leather sandals, musical instruments, storage chests, bowls, combs, and other trinkets, along with food.Wealthier ones buried with furniture valuables too numerous to list here. Boats, scenes of food production, craftsmen, workshops, professions, scribes, soldiers found in tombs. To enable dead king to live full-scale lifestyle chariots, horses, terracotta soldiers to guard king in after life. Wives, servants, slaves, killed to accompany king to serve in after life to enjoy companionship indulged on earth. Others include brand new or normal beautiful clothing worn packed for future use in grave. Artefacts include, stored bags of wheat grains, grave goods to provide essential Egyptian funeral banquets in after life. Luxury tombs built by impoverished slaves, skilled craftsmen, peasants for kings, queens, noble classes and rich merchants. Most artefacts from tombs are in museums all over the world collected buy archaeologist and archivists for posterity. The citizens left behind strongly believe not giving grand final farewell to ruler upon his death would be punishment of ancestors now watching the population from the plane of the immortals. So a pledge and levy is pain by each citizen throughout their lives life to prepare for such an occasion. Other people bury their dead in a simple grave. The body may be treated, arranged in particular way to faith belief. Most did not keep written evidence but kept regular visits to graveside to tend it, send food and drinks, flowers, teddy bears. The grave is shown to younger generations to trace family tree. The living feel it is their duty and responsibility to provide tomb lavish decorations. Maintain regular contact visit for solace and comfort so deceased feels loved. Information on modern afterlife custom include sewing machines, tools of trade buried with deceased, shoes, money for river crossing journey to pay toll on way. Some turn funeral into big events bigger than wedding ceremony. So organised by professional event managers, funeral contractors to provide music, entertainment, food, venue, chairs, tents, meals and drinks. So cater for VIP guests to ensure everything runs smoothly according to plan. Big donors give huge sums to avoid debt so make profit. These events are fashionable so provide dance services to entertain guests.
Due to understanding of the meaning of after life recognised no earthly riches is of any value after demise. This is one of the most richest kings who ever lived to 90 years old, buried immediately on same day draped with simple cloth in unmarked grave according to custom. This was according to protocol although the king could afford the most expensive designer coffin of any shape desired to order. The king could be carried in the most expensive funeral cortege procession. Dressed in the best most priceless fabrics could be chosen by chief mourners and sympathisers to change into costumes every hour to display wealth to show off. The whole burial would have been postponed because of the magnitude of the kings stature and status in the society to prepare to give the best funeral party in terms of age. Some preparations take as long as 5 years with the deceased in deep freezer mortuary paid for until all family members can afford to find time to gather for funeral. By then, funeral costs rise to millions of dollars. The older the deceased the bigger the party and as king the ceremony is ultimate display to signify position of power in death hierarchy ceremony traditions of men. This almost becomes competition of keeping up with Joneses. Nobody wants to change standard funeral traditions. People record by video, ceremony to distribute to friends, family, loved one. So keeps memory alive of the deceased’s funeral event to watch again from time to time. Then post images, video on face book and online display blogs of documented events. This enables the whole ceremony to be stored to show those unable to attend to partake by visual reality. It is good to remember to record precious loved one’s passing departure if can afford lavish competition ceremony budget. Misguided fear of letting departed down means going to extreme lengths in debt. Meanwhile the members of family hungry daily, out of school due to lack of fees not equally invested in.
Contributing to lavish death ceremony events is done by the poorest of the poor. As it is compulsory for all citizens do so. So compelled to take loans to prepare for funeral in debt to pay years to come. Time and amount invested in death mongering can eradicate poverty to build schools and hospitals. Those living in fear of ancestors must realise celebrating life in presence of person honours far better than grand funerals in absence. Funeral amount money spent is never spent in lifetime. Some cannot afford medical treatment when person alive. They cannot provide appropriate diet in hospital suitable for improving health. Some abandon for years family members. As too busy enjoying life to care about aged elderly. Yet forget they too will grow old as what person sows is what they reap. No matter lavished pyramid mausoleum accolade tomb goods, flesh decays but soul lives on. So society needs to rethink and redress priority to celebrate life. Above all it is the soul that matters most so goes back to God. The flesh decays earth to earth, dust to dust. This pyramid shows 3 highest tier opened grave in Japan.
Those who understand and recognise true meaning of life live practical lives. So use material goods and riches to make the most of life. Beyond life in the after world there is no need to bring along own material goods for prosperity. Or pack luggage for use by the deceased. God has abundant mansions of pure gold, diamond etc better than earthly goods so not required in Heaven. All silver, gold, wealth, riches belong to God for all people to use on earth. There is more than enough resources as Solomon favoured with God’s Special honour given riches, wealth inventoried in the Torah. The Ark of Covenant is made of pure gold. God has super abundance for all God’s creation so there is no need to kill or destroy another before one becomes blessed by God. At the end of the day, no matter how rich on earth body dies so soul lives on to give account to God. Maintaining Godly soul connection with God is most important focus. All said and done, perishable flesh decays but soul lives with God eternally.
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Jesus and His siblings and members of His immediate and extended family lived together close by each other. Christ enjoyed a healthy family atmosphere with members of the close-knit family. Christ’s family included, saved apostles, disciples, multitudes who joined and followed Christ from city to city. Jacob had a family later split due conflict of the brothers with Joseph due to envy and jealousy. Jacob’s family eventually reunited after years of enmity between the brothers. Most cultures rely heavily on sons to continue the lineage. Often the oldest would be the leader who inherits the main assets entrusted as a steward for all members needs. Other have cousins and nephews living nearby to interact on a daily basis. Communities and neighbourhoods are often built on the land allocated to tribe in the community.
From Genesis this is seen in the life of Abraham and Israel ( Jacob) and his sons. A classic case is the 12 tribes of Israel settling according to the area on the land of Israel. Psalm 133 is attributed to David and it has an older setting and context. It comes from the image of an extended family. In Israel’s culture sons stay at home with their father in the ancestral family home. As and as they grow and get married with children the family joined in the extended family home. During the story of David’s anointing as king by Samuel the prophet, all the sons were living together. David’s experience of this must have been a good one unlike Joseph’s in Genesis when his brothers did not like his dreams.
His father’s favouritism so they plotted to kill him and eventually sold him off to slavery in Egypt. But from what we know David had a good experience although left to care for the sheep as the youngest as the other older brothers went into battle. Joseph reconciled with his brothers and blessed them. David as king finally brought Israel is together as one people so no longer different factions. Tribes apply image of brothers living together in harmony to the whole of the nation. This family metaphor is applied to the whole of Israel through temple and Christian worship. Christmas is the time to forgive, let go to live in peace. Churches do an amazing job and reach out to the bigger community to celebrate Christ.
Even into the Diaspora when Jews were spread all over the known world. It is a metaphor as church a truly global community as brothers and sisters in Christ. Modern society recreates similar community in society based on class, wealth in the gated communities to live among similar minded people sharing common interests. Community is essential provided members look out for the best interest of all not the select privileged few. With families scattered all over the world, Christmas is the time most meet to celebrate and catch up on progress of each member of the family. With Skype, What’s Up, Facebook, telephone, the family maintains contact daily as often as possible.
With Christmas cards, gifts, visits it is time to make that sacrifice to check on members of the family or created friendships replaced families. whatever is best for everyone is done to be with the family to relaxed and enjoy each others company. Above, despite the challenges of interaction of family one can say truly the best support ultimately comes from family. Although members may not be one’s preferred list. God in His Wisdom, Grace, Mercy, Sees it Fit to place and allocate each person according to His Pleasure. So hold your tongue, focus on the BEST in the most outrageous, repelling members of the family. Include those one would rather avoid as God knows best. Thank God for having next of kin, bless them and ask God to help build up family in Jesus Name.
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During Christmas Season most people join extended family, friends, loved ones to celebrate festivities. Some enjoy the seasons feasting eating so do not to feel alone. Others feel lonely, alone by themselves without next of kin, family or friends. So end up without Christmas family invitation by choice or circumstances. Christmas Season is considered one of the loneliest and most difficult time for some due to isolation. If you find yourself lonely, you are not alone for the Father God is with you in Jesus Name.
There are times we find ourselves home alone. Or our work requires us to travel by ourselves. So always living out of suitcases in hotel rooms, eating by ourselves to remain faithful to our spouses. There are other times we take time out away from friends, loved ones and family to reflect and pray for a season. Christ Jesus often went away by Himself to pray to the Father to fellowship with God.
As the glitz and glamour of Christmas turn cities into beautiful places to be and to celebrate. Many may be unable to join in the blessed occasion to have fun, joy and laughter due to situations beyond their control. Some may be dealing with health issues, family disintegration, loss, bereavement and war, flood and disasters. No matter problems faced, once still alive and breathing this is the greatest miracle to still have the gift of life. Life is the Living Spirit of God as His Active Life Force described by some as energy.
God’s breath life Dunamis keeps a person alive no matter the condition or state of life. Therefore thanks are given to God and rejoice to express gratitude of worship for being alive and still here on earth. In addition, God provides free sunshine, rain and food for His Creation. If mankind has to pay God directly daily for life breath, sunshine, rain, trees providing shelter, food from nature to feed all mankind. So it is important to show appreciation to God for sustenance and count our blessings.
The precious time spent wallowing in self – pity solitude or pity party as misery loves company. Is best to turn to praise to give Glory to God for His Grace and Mercy. To be content to smell the flowers to enjoy life in the here and now and be content with one’s lot. Dwelling thankfully on what God has given to use it wisely than anger at God for what one does not have. So extending time and attention to fellow lonely people by encourages others to build up inner strength. There may not be bountiful super-abundance in one’s humble abode. Little is much if God is in it.For it is better to dwell in peace to eat herbs, vegetables than indulge in sinful gluttony to displease God. Do not compare yourself to others or envy others to cut off connection for not living up to their standard. No matter how fabulously rich or fantastic others wealth or grass seems greener, everyone is dealing with something in life. You may not realise how blessed you are until you get out of your shell to take notice of those less fortunate than yourself.
Do not allow fear to you ostracise to cut you off from socializing with right relevant people in your life. If peradventure, you are by yourself do not be a recluse. Turn such a time into wonderful intimate moment with God, Christ, Holy Spirit, Angels, Father God Himself with you. Praise God with lovely music, worship songs, listen to faith building tapes, messages, apps, software, TV Gospel talks about God. Use the Christmas holiday season to relax and refresh your life. Catch up on things you could not do due to time restrictions of work or business. Call friends and family is appropriate to lift them up. Pray more, make a list of people with photos if possible to intercede for. Jesus said He is with you always forever.Live space for time date of testimony and give God the Glory to thank Him for un/answers to Prayer. Change your mindset from needs to praise Focus on God. Things of the world will pass away so do not let material, financial physical things or people distract your life to lose your soul. Rejoice in your life everyday and walk in love and forgiveness. Do not think too highly of yourself to feel so perfect nobody is good enough to interact with you. Christmas is not time for regrets of what you do not have. Thank God for the birth of our Saviour Jesus Christ. Invite Christ into your life or be more drawn to Christ. Remember the closer you draw near to God the Glorious Light of Christ shines into your life to show flaws. Do not be so bored you are tired of life so does feel not worthy.Put your trust in God and read the Bible to be transformed from Glory to Glory. Join a local volunteer group or create one with other lonely people in a public place to celebrate Christmas together if lonely. Do not let modern advertisement of Christmas make you feel so low for not affording the sales and the material things which pass away. Seek to use your time to have relaxed baths, candle lit dinner, next door neighbours if friendly and amicable.
You have a right to be on this earth according to God’s plans and purposes for your life. Share your testimony, start a blog, write about issues dear to your heart or bothering you. You fit perfectly in God’s Jigsaw Puzzle Bigger Plan for you belong to God. Never allow troubles of life to wear you out if feeling low in adversity valley. Invite Christ on your knees for God to help deliver you from feeling alone.
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After Alex lost his father as a young boy, his mother refused the traditional proposal to marry his father’s next of kin to keep his wealth in the family so lost everything. In the process, returned empty-handed as all their personal belongings they owned were not given back to them. Alex remembered one special heavenly music played during funeral service so dwelt on words for comfort thinking about his mother and future. Others debated his father’s assets, property. Some asked Alex about the details of his father’s car registration numbers they did not know but later owned. He saw some relatives wearing his father’s clothes, shoes and was shocked even before his father was buried.
It seemed people felt a right of entitlement to his family belongings. Alex hurt too much to care about the material possessions he lost. He knew Jehovah Jireh is never bankrupt so will surely provide and supply all his needs according to His Riches in Heaven through Christ Jesus. Alex deeply longed for his father’s love and wished somehow life would return to normal. With a prayerful mother dedicated to God in prayer. Alex felt encouraged to rebuild his life and saw a side of human nature he never knew existed before. Some people became kind, helpful to him. Although disappointed by sad loss of his father’s death was determined to study for good success in life.Alex met good relatives including a medical doctor priest who took keen interest in his life education. He taught him as he visited if less busy. Alex begun to play and smile again. His uncle showed Alex’s family, the trips he made regularly on his projector. He told Alex about life during his own studies and encouraged Alex to work hard. The family gathered after sumptuous meals and watched clips from his trips all over the world. Alex remembered the good times and the stories told with the projector of John’s studies, friends so dreamt of becoming helpful like his role model one day God willing.
However, like every other unexpected event in Alex’s life, his uncle had a fatal accident driven by his driver. John’s projector and property was never found again. His funeral took place soon after but the body was too damaged to be put on display on view. Alex had to relive his pain and loss again. During John’s annual memorial service, Alex was almost killed by an insane intruder with machetes, while playing in his backyard garden. Alex had to recover and relearn to read and write yet received no compensation. He had nightmares and screamed in his dreams reliving his attack. He developed an unhealthy fear and mistrust of people due to his circumstances.
It took the grace and mercy of God to forgive and overcome those dark feelings. Alex was broken-hearted and devastated by these series of sad and unfortunate events in his life. Alex remembers goodness of God and sings songs like, ‘When peace like a river attended my ways, when sorrow like sea below roll whatever my Lord, thou has taught me to know, it is well, it is well with my soul.’Alex invited the Holy Spirit into his life so asked Him to strengthen him daily. With his mother’s love, support, other kind hearted people’s generosity, Alex managed to study hard as he loved to do.Due to his head injury however, he struggled with some subjects he previously excelled at. Alex has great assurance and hope his beloved grandma Jean, loving father Bently and uncle John are reunited with each other in heaven, singing and dancing in God’s presence. He is sure they will all meet one day during the resurrection. Alex deals with health issues, surgeries with help of family and friends. He puts confidence, trust in God, Son Christ and the Holy Spirit for sustenance, comfort and peace in Jesus Name.
Many issues of sexual abuse are often swept under the carpet so it is important and necessary to educate children early on matters that concern their lives. This simple easy to use format will help children, parents, guardians, significant others to help children understand intimacy issues early in life. Children do not know about intimacy automatically. One cannot wait or assume they will grow and learn about it. With numerous real life painful stories of sexual abuse it is necessary to teach children early about preciousness of their body as God’s Holy Temple.
This true account will help parent gain better awareness of sexual abuse. Dawn was 4 years old when her mother offered to help a heavily pregnant neighbour. By shopping for her, she left Dawn under her care for a few hours for some time to help her prepare for delivery. The Peter, oldest son of the pregnant woman started entertaining and playing with Dawn to occupy her. Peter’s mother was busy preparing meals for the family and more food for freezing during her days of confinement. Child play soon turned into nurses and doctors for many months as both continued to play together.
Abuser had audacity to sit Dawn playfully on his knees in the presence of family together yet nobody knew little secret. Eventually Dawn told parents of Peter’s games played. Then Peter’s father, a prison officer whipped the son until his bottom burst open, turned into a wound later oozing with pus. Basically this saved Peter from further abuse but destroyed the beautiful relationship between friendly neighbours. Worst of all abuser attended police academy at time of abuse yet successfully qualified so carried on his profession in a place where no one knew his dirty little secret. Dawn grew up before became aware or understood what happened in childhood at 4 years old.
Peter’s father sought transfer and so moved on into another town to work there. Dawn had no idea or knowledge of intimacy so did not know understand abuse. At 4 years old such a thing never happened in family so it was not deemed necessary to make aware to know the difference between appropriate touch. Use simple words meaningful to child to create family code for private part to clean themselves. Ask or remind child to clean wee if girl or pee if boy to clean properly without embarrassment or direct supervision to violate their privacy if.
Like cleaning teeth help brush until well-trained enough to cope by themselves. Remember each child’s maturity level is different! Teach all children their body belongs to God so Holy Spirit dwells in them through Christ. In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Holy Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?
The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 1 Corinthians 6:13 – 18 So flee from sexual immorality. So be urged brothers and sisters in the Lord, in view of God’s mercy to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God and teach children to value their body. Private parts include others not touching vests, the chests, fondling breasts or bras of little girls by anyone if old enough to dress themselves. Take time out to teach the priceless value of the body and boundaries during innocent play that turns into disaster. Keep an eye and teach children to tell little secret plays, hide out or cross gender issues. It is better to be safe than sorry for trauma of abuse lingers on in life affecting all aspects of life. Train children early about keeping private parts private as sole owner of their private assets and property. So must not allow anyone to touch vest, bras, underwear or trespassers to enter in!
It is a hands off zone to others not accepted to do by assistive care like doctors, parents, etc. From age 2 some children can dress themselves. So it depends on the child’s spurt growth level of maturity. The parent’s input train child early to do simple little things like pulling up pants, taking off vests until able to take personal hygiene care of themselves.
P.A.N.T.S is an easy way for you to explain to your child the key elements of the NSPCC Underwear Rule:
Privates are private
Be clear with your child that the parts of their body covered by underwear are private.
Explain to your child that no one should ask to see or touch their private parts or ask them to look at or touch anyone else’s.
Sometimes doctors, nurses or family members might have to. Explain that this is OK, but that those people should always explain why, and ask your child if it’s OK first.
Always remember your body belongs to you
Let your child know their body belongs to them, and no one else.
No one has the right to make them do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. And if anyone tries, tell your child they have the right to say no.
Remind your child they can always talk to you anything which worries or upsets them.
A= Always protect body
No means no
Make sure your child understands that they have the right to say “no” to unwanted touch – even to a family member or someone they know or love.
This shows that they’re in control of their body and their feelings should be respected.
If a child feels confident to say no to own family, they are more likely to say no to others.
Talk about secrets that upset you
Explain the differences between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ secrets.
Phrases like “it’s our little secret” are an abuser’s way of making a child feel worried, or scared to tell someone what is happening to them.
- Good secrets can be things like surprise parties or presents for other people.
- Bad secrets make you feel sad, worried or frightened.
Your child needs to feel able to speak up about secrets that worry them and confident that saying something won’t get them into trouble.
Telling a secret will never hurt or worry anybody in your family or someone you know and love.
Speak up, someone can help
Tell your child if sad, anxious or frightened they should talk to an adult they trust.
This doesn’t have to be a family member. It can teacher,friend’s parent, ChildLine.
Remind them whatever problem, it’s not their so fault not in trouble for speaking up.