WOMEN & MEN FRIENDSHIPS

1033.gifWomen have intense close friendships, men tend not to have that according to Professor Dunbar, the Psychologist Professor at Oxford University. Professor Dunbar found women view best friend relationships in between sisters and soul mates. Men tend to see theirs purely in terms of the convenience. He came to this conclusion by exploring how people’s friendship circles changed when they left school for university. So what determined original friendships or whether they survived long-term? Did women make effort to talk more to each other on the phone as explored? And did “talking have any absolute effects on mens’ relationships at all? For men it was doing stuff together that held close friendships together. Doing activities like going to a football match or the pub for a drink, playing five a side was more meaningful to men. They made effort if was such an activity.” He looked at the differences between the sexes and said women clearly have much more intense close friendships than men. Men tend not to have that sort of relationship but they tend to have a group of four men they do such stuff with. So relationship is much more casual. With men it is out of sight out of mind. They just find four more guys to go drinking with.”The cast of Channel 4's university-themed sitcom Fresh Meat The cast of Channel 4’s university-themed sitcom Fresh Meat. This will be familiar to any woman who has had both the pleasure and disappointment of close male friend particularly in their twenties and thirties. At first, things are wonderful. Life is full of great catch ups, and laughter over pints of beer. They listen to your woes and you help them with their woman problems. It is the friendship neither knew needed. Only then, something changes. They start a new relationship. They move to a new postcode really not very far. They get a new job with a ready-made social life. They get a new flatmate. Whatever the change they suddenly have the new set of replacement ready and can’t seem to find the time to meet you for that coffee. You, naively, keep trying. You call them, you send jokey pictures and do exactly what you will do if that was a girlfriend growing distant: bombard her with the attention you wish she was showing you. Except with a male friend, it just does not work. Whether it is nature or nurture, most men simply do not view friendships in the same way as women. Gender is hardly the issue it is practical problem of how much time and effort they put into a platonic relationship. As the study says, there’s always another drinking buddy around the corner. Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with BenefitsJustin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with Benefits. Men reading this may feel unfairly judged. So I put it to a colleague and current male friend let’s be honest, the second we stop sharing a desk, I will never hear from him again. “Some of my best friends are women,” he says vaguely. When I ask if the effort he made with friends is comparable to that his girlfriend makes with hers, he begrudgingly accepts that he could not spend hours on the phone with his pals of either gender. He lost count of the male friends who have disappeared over the years. Often, it coincides with the arrival of a new girlfriend. But contrary to popular interpretation, it is rarely to do with that new girlfriend’s jealousy. As one former male friend charmingly told me: “I have to hear all my girlfriend’s emotional stresses now. I don’t have time for yours.” With male mates like that it is probably no surprise all efforts go into his female friendships. And now academics backed my choice.tmg-article_default_mobile

Steps To recover friends

  • Stop pre-empting: Sometimes we are anxious when we do not need to be and it creates conflicts with friends in our heads. Your friend may be sitting thinking the same thing; not think anything is wrong.
  • Do not be consumed by guilt: Often you feel guilty or embarrassed you did not make contact for a while. This is what is getting in the way, try not to hold onto these feelings.
  • Face conflicts that arise: If your friendships is worthwhile you should be willing to fix them, ask what has gone wrong, what their position may be to work  solution.
  • Set objectives: Once you have discussed the issues don’t let them drag on, make a decision to move forward and set practical ways of keeping in touch and letting the other know you care.
  • Find positive aspects: Friendship may take on a different form with distance allows space to see things objectively. You may be able to help each other more, to make use of the distance when you can.

GIFTS OF HOLY SPIRIT

Jesus taught about using gifts given by God wisely and appropriately as it is important and necessary to ensure Holy Spirit resources are fairly distributed well to meet needs. The spiritual gifts are found in three passages in 1 Corinthians 12:8-10, Ephesians 4:11 and Roman’s 12:6-8. What does it mean to use gifts of the Holy Spirit how do we as Christians differentiate between gifts? God’s Words through the Holy Spirit inspires and reveals His Truth to us. In I Corinthians In Romans 12:6-8 gifts of Holy Spirit are given for good use in church verse 7.  In I Corinthians 12:8-10, God gives gifts as He sees fit for best use for God’s Glory. Gifts desired can be receive through the Holy Spirit to fulfill desires of our hearts. Yet still fulfill God‘s purpose so these gifts are used to Glorify God to edify the church.

1. The Gift of Spirit Word of Wisdom (8) is seen in King Solomon’s  life when he asked God for the gift of wisdom. He was the wisest man in history. In 7 Chronicles 7:5 King Solomon offered sacrifice of 22,000 oxen and 120,000 sheep. Again in 1 King 3:4 King Solomon in Gibeon an  important place of worship sacrificed 1,000 burnt offerings on altar. God visited Solomon so asked him to make a request so Solomon asked for wisdom. So to fear God is beginning of wisdom.2) Gift of Word of Knowledge(v 8) This gift of the Spirit of knowledge . Some people have such a gift of remembering scriptures and the gift of knowledge to know to speak particular words given to edify the church. This gift speaks to fulfill true knowledge from God. Gift of  knowledge to utter Word of God is inspired by the Holy Spirit. So publicly speaking the Word of God is gift is associated with teachers or pastors in church to teach or preach. God knows future so Sovereign God directs apostles in church commissioned by Risen Christ by Holy Spirit Presence with authority. God designates all true apostles of God because God is the same yesterday, today and forever to speak forth knowledge from God.

3) The Gift of Faith (v 9) This gift helps to see things in faith with amazing supernatural confidence in God beyond natural realities in all situations.

4)The Gift of Healing (v 9) The gift of healing has been a controversial one . Jesus Christ’s name had power and that God was working in the church. I am not saying that people are still not healed today but the days of having someone’s shadow passing over them and they are instantly healed is over. The gift of healing may be in relations to power of prayer to know that the effectual prayer of a righteous man or woman can accomplish miracles in James 5:16.5) The Gift of Working Miracles (10) The gift of “miraculous powers“ is another gift of the Spirit that appears to be unique to the New Testament church .The greatest miracles that occur today are, for the most part, the miracle of salvation. The greatest miracle of Spirit is Word of God is revealing to us Who Jesus Christ  in John 6:44, Matt 16:17.

6) The Gift of Speaking Prophecy (v 10) Prophecy in church is the gift of teaching or speaking events for the future. The birth of Jesus, was prophesied thousands of years before He was born Prophecy is still being fulfilled in world events including waiting for Christ return.

7) The Gift of Discernment (10) The gift of “distinguishing between spirits” is having the gift of discernment. It is able to discern scriptures and their application to believers in the church.

8) Divers different kinds of Tongues (v 10) is ability to speak in different tongues. During the outpouring of Holy Spirit on Pentecost, the disciples who speak Galilean now speak in native languages of Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome both Jews and converts to Judaism; Cretans and Arabs—we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues.” God still pours out the Holy Spirit to strengthen the church.9) The Gift of Interpretation of Tongues (v 10). This gift is interpretation tongue or a known language as a witness to unbelievers. If speaking in tongues in the church, God absolutely ensures someone interprets message to His people. God’s Divine Nature is also revealed by the Holy Spirit through believers in Jesus Name. This strengthens Christians to do God’s work and live in love, walk by faith, dwell in hope, live in righteousness and holiness, make right judgment, gain knowledge and wisdom of God. Gifts make excellent teachers, deacons, elders, pastors, leaders and the whole church to humble themselves and walk in spirit and in truth of God’s word and power of  Holy Spirit. As believers, God’s Divine Nature refines like pure gold and diamonds to remove dross to shine to God’s Glory. Many more Gifts of Holy Spirit are for all members of Christ Church Body in Romans 12:7-8. Additional gifts are serving, teaching, encouragement; giving generously; leadership skills diligently showing mercy cheerfully.  Those gifted at teaching, do work of God with unusual forgiveness because of hurts by flock or wrong attitudes of some led. Ephesians 4:11 reveals gifts of apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, teachers. Teachers and evangelists are gifted in sharing gospel with the lost, pastors and prophets proclaim gospel. All church members as body of Christ in God in the church are apostles, prophets, teachers, miracles, healing, helping, guidance, tongues. Some leaders operate in all gifts at varying times depending on the assignment required by God.

Paul emphasizes respect and honour for each office department so asks, Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? Now eagerly desire the greater gifts“ in I Corinthians 12:28-31. Paul says not to seek to discover gifts but utilize them to strengthen Body of Christ. Christ Church members are His bride, His Body living into eternity. Spiritual gifts are usually generally speaking : 1. administrative – knowledge  2. Apostles – Gospel proclaimers, leaders, discerning spiritual truth, mercy, 3. Miracles -evangelism 4. Pastors / shepherds- guidance, support, encouragement, 5. Prophecy – faith, teaching/ ministering 6. Giving- hospitality, serving 7. Healing- teaching, 8. Tongues – interpretation 9. Wisdom – Godly Insight. These offices are not set in concrete so each remains fixed but dynamic flow blending in harmony for God’s work. Paul makes it clear all gifts are necessary for the completeness of the Body of Christ in I Corinthians 12:12-23, “Now if the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? God  placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. So the ministry gifts of the Holy Spirit are used in harmony and spirit of unity to build Body of Christ.

GOD’S CHILD STARS

ImageJesus the star child is in the news as we hear about other little children who do great and impossible things according to their age. They do feats considered beyond level of maturity, knowledge understanding as 2 year old saved mother’s life. By navigating his way through mother’s sophisticated phone, pressed emergency button to alert father when mother collapsed on floor. Such miracle is expected through adult appropriate technology yet child star take centre stage of life to deliver great line messages forever remembered. In John 7:14-31, during feast celebration, Jesus impressed learned scribes and rabbi’s with his excellent knowledge of the word of God in the synagogue. ImageThe message delivered by Christ 3 days engrossed people so much he continued teaching until his parents had to go looking for him. They realised Jesus did not follow them behind in the crowd while returning from Jerusalem but found Jesus busy teaching in temple. When asked why Jesus said He had to do His Father’s business. God uses child stars because the talent and abilities in them is created by God. So God uses a child star to bless like young girl maid servant child star whose advise led Naaman to Israel prophet to be healed. When Aramaen mercenaries captured this Israeli girl in 2 Kings 5 and sold her into slavery, her new master was that powerful army captain. She was not bitter for her lot in life but showed kindness to master and did good and what is right. Similarly the Sound of music tells the story of child stars who confronted danger from the Nazis. ImageThis true life story in cinemas and theaters, tells their victory in popular film called Sound of music lovely child star’s in living history. Endearing to audience this little children overcome adversity by bravely performing music in the face of Nazi threats to entertain people. They were healing and thriving from loss of their mother so triumphed over Nazis who took over their home and wealth. Such is the impact of small children on people as they become center of focus, attention and hope to many children facing danger and adversity.Image They can also be used by God to deliver important messages to the nations. The information can be good like Christ sent to save all who accept Him. In Matthew 14:13-21 another little child star also willingly to let go of his packed lunch to share his food with others so was kind to others hungry. In John 6, a boy shared his lunch with the Saviour Who is able to feed a multitude. Several versions of this child star’s generosity is told in the Bible again and again. Account is slightly varied because no mechanized data registered precise numbers like calculators so different eye witness accounts is expected in such situations. images (28)Christ blessed and multiplied it to feed more than 5000 multitude counting women and children who followed Jesus to listen to messages shared. In any case Jesus feeds the multitudes using a child star’s packed lunch as an example to do miracles beyond expectation with extra surplus taken home by all.  They collected 12 baskets extra surplus food more abundantly multiplied so took the rest home. In Jeremiah 1:6 God called a young man to serve as a prophet and he told God he was ‘a child,’ so felt too young to do God’s work. God touched his lips so strengthened him to do God’s work. One is never too young to serve as God called Samuel a little boy to deliver message to the nation in 1 Samuel 2 : 12 -17. God spoke directly to him while asleep so God woke him up 3 times to talk to him.copley-john-singleton-samuel-reading-to-eli-the-judgments-of-god-upon-elis-house The little boy thought it was the prophet who called him so the prophet Eli taught him to answer ‘Yes Lord Speak for your servant is listening.’ God spoke to this prophet child in training to deliver a hefty punishment message for the nation because God was very angry and fed up with 2 greedy men in the temple. For their arrogance and disrespect shown to God and worshipers was appalling. As children of privileged high society disregarded God so behaved badly towards their father the High Priest, worshipers, priests and the nation.burnt-offering-11

They felt so proud and thought they were above God and temple protocol. Their aged blind father the prophet Eli could not control his sons Hophni and Phinehas who were rebellious, so showed no respect for their father’s office. They were very greedy and selfish so gluttony caused them to first serve themselves from largest best portions of the meat sacrificed to God even before God’s portion was dedicated on altar by the worshipers. These adults priests are supposed to protect God’s sanctuary and set a good example but all too often, some prey on worshipers. 741 They practiced temple prostitution by copying the heathen nations. So they took advantage of the women dedicated and vowed to serve God in the temple by defiling and sexually abusing them. The leaders of the theocratic nation did nothing to stop them so God was very angry and disappointed so let the whole nation be defeated in war. These two priests were killed and shock of their death killed pregnant wives and Eli their father the High priest. This little boy Samuel understood consequences of God’s judgment so at first hesitated to tell Eli yet bravely faced them. So prophet Eli prompted him to deliver the sad news. Instead of Eli calling nation to repent and fast like Nineveh to plead God’s mercy and forgiveness Eli gave up. Hophni and Phinehas had wives yet strayed without self – control.story5Yet, in Genesis 39:1-12, a child star Joseph who heard God’s voice clearly through dreams, respected and honoured God by refusing Portipher’s wife’s advances, saying he ‘will not sin against God.’ Joseph realized his body was God’s Holy Temple so did not defile himself or destroy his destiny to damage God’s call on his life if compromised with sin. Joseph had no father, mother or siblings and was a slave so the perfect candidate desperate for love, affection and comfort for relief. Joseph would have ended up like Hophni and Phinehas when devil tried to tempt him in his most vulnerable moment in life. Joseph was young, handsome, single, yet pure so walked in holiness to Glorify God.

Jesus did and used to save mankind from sin to restore people to God. So did the little boy share his lunch happily and got extra reward surplus God gave back. The boy Samuel heard God clearly and perfectly in evident manifested consequences in the history of the nation. God uses a child star to bless, heal, deliver and protect a nation that trains them to obey, love and follow God. A child star is still used by God to save nations today so listen to them. Honour and teach them correct way of God through Christ Jesus,  Best and Greatest example of a child star ever- living. So did Miriam a young girl risk her life to be willingly used by God to protect her baby brother Moses hidden on a river.Princess Finds The Basket As a child star in the Bible is in Exodus 2, Mariam kept a watchful eye on her baby brother hidden inside a reed basket coated with tar on the river Nile. Miriam boldly talked to Pharaoh’s daughter the princess who found baby Moses and rescued him from drowning from the Nile river. Miriam’s bravery and quick thinking saved Moses so his mother was allowed to be nanny living in palace to raise baby Moses. Again God used the young boy David, who bravely faced the giant Goliath in 1 Samuel 17 and defeated Philistines. God’s spirit strengthened David to fight when the veteran seasoned warriors cowered in fear for their lives. In Mark 14, God used a young girl watching Peter warm himself by a fire to prompt Peter about the promise he made to Jesus never to forget or let Him down. She identified Peter, having seen and heard Peter preach and minister there at times. She boldly faced to challenge him, “You were with Nazarene, Jesus!” Peter denied Jesus as cock crow signal confirmed prophecy of Jesus. An outstanding story is loyalty friendship covenant is Jonathan and David’s love for each other closer than brotherly love. Unlike Peter, Jonathan denied himself to acknowledge God ordained anointing upon David to be King. So Jonathan willingly swapped royal garments with David to promote God’s work. This infuriated King Saul, Jonathan’s father who accused him of condoning with the enemy to self destruct the kingdom due him for inheritance. Jonathan’s action of loyalty became a generational blessing to Jonathan’s son years later. Accidentally disabled as child, Mephibosheth was remembered by the powerful King David who sent convoy with chariots to save from Lodebar into a privileged position to seat and eat with King David for the rest of his life. So one good turn deserves another as Jonathan helped the child star David become future king so help build nation of Israel. Similarly God used a young girl Joan of Arc in France to build nation as shown here . Joan of Arc was a young girl used by God in living history to win victories expected from adults yet sacrificed. Other women like judge Deborah, Yaa Asantewaa of Ghana in Ashanti Gold Coast times, Queen Nanny of Maroons in 1685 – 1755, a Jamaican National well-known leader origin from West Africa, contributed tremendously in history. Young girls or boys play active roles in nation’s victory remembered in yearly commemoration celebrate their sacrifice for the peace of the nation. Lots of unsung heroes sacrifice lives still today like these child stars to protect the nations globally. It is worth thanking God for such lives acknowledging their families who pay costly price to preserve other lives. Jephthah’s daughter is such child star. This child star virgin girl welcomes with father Jephthah as shown above from 1858, oil on canvas, bequest of Charles Knox Smith. Jephthah’s daughter in Judges 11:34 agreed with father’s rash vow thank offering given to God after victory in battle. Running to welcome father to find she was vowed as sacrifice for nation’s victory. Jephthah met on return by only child tore his clothes and cried my daughter brought victory with sorrow.

It was common practice to sacrifice virgins as God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. God required animal sacrifices to provide a temporary covering of sins and to foreshadow the perfect and complete sacrifice of Jesus Christ in Leviticus 4:35. Animal sacrifice was important in Scripture because “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins in Hebrews 9:22. When Adam and Eve sinned, animals were killed by God to provide clothing for them in Genesis 3:21. Cain and Abel brought sacrifices to God yet Cain’s unacceptable because he brought fruit, while Abel’s was accepted as it was “firstborn of his flock” in Genesis 4:4-5. After flood, Noah sacrificed animals to God in Genesis 8:20-21 thanksgiving. Others sacrificed before battle to seek help or during adversity to stop it. So it cost Jephthah daughters life by father’s pledge to honour God after victory. Others replace a human sacrifice with sheep and scapegoats but in Hebrews 10:4, it is written “it is not possible the blood of bulls and of goats to take away sins so the ultimate blood sacrifice for salvation is Jesus Christ the greatest child star of them all. Animal sacrifices stopped with Jesus Christ the ultimate sacrificial substitute once for all time in Hebrews 7:27 so now Christ is the only mediator between God and people in 1 Timothy 2:5. So the greatest gospel privilege is Christ is punished instead of sinner so the remission of sin takes the weight and guilt of shame from the sinner. Christ removes every handwriting of ordinances and laws out of the saved person and nails it to the cross never to be condemned. This gives direct access to God’s forgiveness of sins through our Lord Jesus. Christ paid the price for all sin as The High Priest so made reconciliation for forgiveness of all people. Christ the High Priest made Sacrifice Atonement Reconciliation to God.

Read more:http://www.gotquestions.org/animal-sacrifices.html