THE WORKPLACE NURSERIES

n-ikuboss-a-20160509With the long vacation approaching fast many working parents are faced with a dilemma of childcare. The high cost of childcare means some parents are better off at home caring for children. It is impossible to afford cost of hiring child minders or nannies like the few privileged. Parents must work at the same time looking after their children or their income support is cut off. This is because 24/7 full-time care of children is not legally recognised as paid work in Britain among many countries. Children go to nursery part-time paid for parents and it seems almost punitive to have a child in modern times. Children miss out on such expensive nursery places they cannot afford. Many parents are in debt and policy makers, often males, do not understand the depth of nurturing needs of babies and children. Wages are too meagre to pay rent, buy food and pay bills for most in these advanced wealthy countries throwing away tons of perfectly good food and material things everyday. Bankno_photo_4 balance seems to take precedence over priceless human lives. Worst of all in these countries the parents who leave children home alone are arrested and jailed but children are allowed free to roam the streets among paedophile predators and drug dealers. So with summer holidays parents are worried about safety of children and looking for relatives, family or friends to help look after children. The hardest job in the world is caring for children because they require 24/7 supervision. Anyone who cares for their, children, cooking, feeding, teaching, bathing, hospital appointments, doing laundry, garden, shopping, chores, running errands each day etc, plus looking after family other needs knows it is not easy or simple as often dismissed as unemployed person. 6a00d8341c4eab53ef01b7c7f5bfef970b-800wiHuman life of parents seems further displaced by machines yet unemployed must still pay their nursery fees, bills and mortgages through no fault of their own. So wonder what will happen if all the women in the world refused to have children due to attitude of government towards parents. There will be shortage of wives for men as happens in China and Japan. Germany and Russia after the war had to devise better maternity packages to entice women to repopulate the nation. With longer living of the elderly due to better medical care governments must address birthrate provisions with long-term vision into the future. Children and young people will be leaders and the carers in the future. So a great investment to nurture them today to help prepare them for their future roles. Treating children as unwanted nuisance draining state Resources is the greatest mistake every nation. Ignoring them as not an urgent issue keeps many out of schools and illiterate. Over 11 million children are out of school in Nigeria the highest record in the world. Most parents pay for education, buy books and pay exam fees so do not enjoy the privilege few. nursery3Yet education is taken for granted by the ones given their right to in education. In order not to lose vital front line staff it is essential to build company nursery to be included in building design by their architects. Employers can adapt their buildings to meet nursery standard to solve complex issues addressed by some compassionate companies. Their highly valued staff are retained for their input them after childbirth so children from 3-12 months provided for in workplace. Those not able to gain place must work from home to supervise children. These countries do not allow children to be left at home alone unsupervised like many other countries in other parts of the world. It is against the law and a nightmare for the majority of working parents without the flexible working hours to solve childcare cost problems. Affected by credit crunch and austerity budget cuts, that does not seem to dent the pockets of a privileged few. Holiday season makes childcare major problem for families. So recently, 20th July 2017 wrote on workplace child care facility in a bank in London.Amanda Wong, Goldman Sachs

Image caption Amanda Wong and her daughter Naomi use the Goldman Sachs nursery. So Head into nursery into the Goldman Sachs building on London’s Fleet Street and you’re greeted by wall to wall marble, a bank of receptionists and a water feature in the London City. But wind your way past lifts through an anonymous fire door and you enter a world that couldn’t be less corporate. The sounds, colours and laughter of a nursery. The Goldman Sachs Children’s Centre is both incongruous anomaly as the only on site childcare facility in the Square Mile. Started in 2003 to offer back up provision for staff, it takes kids between the ages of three months and 12 years old. The expense or regulatory requirements for such a facility are the main reasons why it is unique – and peculiar to a bank with deep pockets. This is part of a day of BBC coverage looking at the cost of holiday childcare. Find out at bbc.co.uk/business or follow conversation on social media using the hashtag #Childcare. According to latest figures from the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development, only 5% of businesses in the UK offer childcare in workplace. Anecdotally, this is almost exclusively made up of large employers because they have the money and space to allow for it. They include government departments, Royal Mail, a variety of universities, Microsoft and Toyota. There are tax breaks for those companies that do.Goldman Sachs Children's Centre

Childcare facility at the Goldman Sachs takes children from three months to 12 years old. Employers who include their childcare costs as the part of employee remuneration package, attract tax and National Insurance and obligations. But employers that offer in-workplace nurseries do not and they get relief for the day-to-day running and capital costs of providing the service, for example heating and lighting, and premises.

Flexible work

It might be seen as a perk but an onsite childcare flourished in the immediate post-war years out of necessity. A labour shortage meant women were needed to work and factories and mills started to offer the creches that allowed them to. Dr Laura Paterson of Oxford University, who specialises in history of women’s employment, says childcare provision by businesses died away in the 1950s as the need for women became less acute and the way they worked changed. The. “Part-time and flexible working hours reduced need for workplace nurseries to some extent,” she says, “Women who worked from the 1950s to the 70s tell us they did part-time jobs when children were young to fit around school hours. They worked in the evening so their Goldman Sachs Children's Centrepartner could care for their children. Goldman Sachs are allowed 20 days of emergency childcare a year. But what about the people working full-time at Goldman? For Amanda Wong, who project manages new trades for the firm and is a mum to 12-month-old Naomi, children’s centre has been a lifesaver. Ms Wong put her daughter into nursery same day she returned to work, shortly after Naomi turned nine months. “It has made me feel a lot more relaxed and mentally ready to come back to work a lot earlier than I would have and I think it helps new mums with separation guilt or anxieties about returning to work,” she says. Though she admits it is not ideal to take a one-year-old on the Tube through central London each day. Yet it makes a great difference child is within reach in vicinity giving parents peace of mind. Assured the child is in safe hands, well taken care of by employer pecks.6295314-3x2-940x627

Ishmeet Rayit, who manages Goldman Sachs Children’s Centre, tells me they have a higher staff ratio than Ofsted regulations require (one-to-two in the baby room rather than one-to-three), because they need to make children who might not be familiar with them, settle in quickly. Of the 5,500 people who work in the office, about a quarter are registered users. Each parent at the bank gets 20 free “back-up” days to use the centre, renewed each year. The most coveted facility in the centre is the after-school and holiday programme where the 5-12 year olds come. It’s stuffed full of bilingual books and toys, showing just how multicultural the bank is. “The kids call it an office day,” Ms Rayit says. “They get taken out for lunch by their parents and they make friends here.” Parents are only allowed to book 10 days of this holiday service at a time, the room can accommodate 12, and the waiting list to get in is long.Goldman Sachs office in London

Goldman Sachs is in two old newspaper offices on London’s Fleet Street. Sally Boyle, the international head of human resources at Goldman, says it is a “significant cost” to the firm – but it is worth it. We are definitely seen it have an impact on retention of a smallish group of women but important women who wouldn’t have stayed I suspect if they hadn’t been able to manage that childcare in a way that they can here,” she says. The centre is run by Bright Horizons, largest provider of workplace nurseries in the UK. Goldman pays it a monthly management fee, and parents who need childcare beyond that paid for by the bank, deal directly with the nursery. A spokesperson for company says demand for onsite care increasing. “In today’s competitive talent market, recruiting and retaining exceptional people is high priority for organisations. “On site childcare has been identified as a key factor in encouraging parents to return to work and, in turn, helping organisations to thrive”.

‘Chronic shortage’

But Rohan Silva, whose Second Home drop-in work spaces are planning in-house creches, says the barriers to entry today of setting up onsite childcare are enormous. “The Ofsted accreditation process takes at least three months, and costs hundreds of pounds in registration costs and consultancy fees. In addition, there are multiple additional inspections each year, plus a chronic shortage of trained staff,” he says.Second Home nursery plansSecond Home found designing its onsite creches difficultAnother challenge is the fact that so few architects and designers have ever designed childcare facilities, because so few are created by property developers. That means thinking from scratch the issues around access and child-friendly materials,” Mr Silva says. He believes it’s a vital way of allowing more parents to work. “The UK’s rate of maternal employment is 27% lower than other Western countries making childcare more accessible will make a big difference. “This is especially true of single parents – who are much more likely to be unemployed, and for whom access to childcare is the biggest barrier to finding work” Mr Silva adds. A recent Institute of Directors survey backs this up. It found over half of its members think that the cost of childcare hurts careers – particularly those of women. It is currently consulting on whether to open a creche for its members. For now, though unlike those women working in factories after the war, the option of taking your child to work is offered at a company’s largesse rather than out of compulsion. And it’s reserved for a privileged few.

DOES LOOKS AFFECT JOBS?

hqdefaultDoes looks affect jobs and will your face land you a dream job? Some measure expected standard face as a potential employer to decide whose face best fits the job. This new trend selects mostly females based on their looks or shape of their faces. Some companies go as far as asking for pictures in advance and then measuring faces with tape during their interviews for their required face. This matter is becoming an issue of concern as some do not hear from the employer again after their receiving photos. This way of employing staff members was again in the news. BLcsr71CAAEkR4ySo is this another stereotypical selection method of the beauty considered fit for a workplace? This method is based on facial profiling by face reader’s opinions who claim to predict suitable jobs for specific faces. They are consulted to analyse faces to determine the best face for each job. Is this another underhand tactics and an excuse to discriminate against certain faces? It is possible to send own air brushed picture to look impressive often people send a younger photo than their current looks. 364309F600000578-3689902-image-a-3_1468489483342Are companies being influenced by the modern concepts of what constitutes good looks online in the media as true standard beauty? What about ‘Ugly Betty’ chosen to help her boss from getting distracted by his beautiful secretaries to focus on managing his company. What happens if a company is catfished as happens often in many cases including Sarah who got a job from a university based on her photo of previous youthful years. The university appointed her and on arrival for work turned out to be confronted by an old lady three times her age. Sarah did not indicate her current age to them so it was assumed she looked like the photo sent. At first, the university thought it was a mix up until she confirmed her identity and she enough she was the same person. She was allowed to do the job based on her excellent and genuine track record on her CV qualifications and work history. Sarah although het looks did not affect her job turned out to be a nightmare. Sarah told university zoology director, she must live literary with all the animals in her home. ae840eace1a73d45b1ba4ac9d0668f97Therefore Sarah turned posh university accommodation into animal husbandry for her practical research. Her teaching produced great students so made up for lack of her youthful look Was tolerated to live among her beloved animals till she died unexpectedly. Sarah carried on dutifully for many years but became a victim of her own success. One of the animals bit her while taking him to a vet in her vehicle became infected by rhesus as he carried that disease. IMG_20170720_194117 Sarah dedicated her phenomenal long life collaborating with the university for many years. The university afterwards took the animals to the appropriate zoo set aside for all other animals. Then the house was refurbished and restored for new person employed to fill her place. Sarah was a great character and loyal to her beloved animals and carried on with her zoologist passion to a whole new level. Her presence at university was well-known so she was popular and well loved, one of a kind in that gated community. Her research papers, work was immaculate in both classroom and outside winning many awards. Sarah’s looks and age did not hinder or affect her work in at all. So if the university had based the choice on only superficial or aesthetic looks to reject application, they would have missed out on her skills, talents and practical abilities for many years, as an impressive scientist. So do looks really help in choosing the most competent staff members? Sarah’s job technically did not have age limits in those days so she was able to do her work perfectly well. Sarah did what she loved most so died doing her job carried on faithfully to the end. So is it fair and ethically moral to demand specific looks to determine certain jobs?

GOD’S CORRECTION IS GOOD

proverbs-3-12-god-corrects-us-gold_1398839561The LORD God Almighty corrects those HE LOVES as a father or parents correct the children in whom they delight says the Bible in Proverbs 3:12. God reveals to HIS Children error by love to point out mistakes to reveal the correct way to change for good. Correction is done by God directly or through Jesus Christ the Eraser to wipe out errors to restart correctly to show a person unaware of a mistake due to lack of knowledge. This helps learn from mistakes to improve lives to please God. By doing so the lives transformed grow in righteousness and improves in faith, active listening skills in obedience to God. The person gains useful information previously unknown before. Hebrews 12:6-11 says the LORD chastens, disciplines, scourges all HE LOVES to receive correction to endure to gain better experience in life. God deals with people as individual, family or on corporate basis as required.proverbs-3-12-god-corrects-us-green_1078636053Correction of Bart Simpson is a classic example of the line writing exercise on the classroom board to highlight point of correction. Years ago, schools gave pupils correction exercise books for rewriting misspelt words. Of course, as children unaware of exact right words intended word teachers point mistake to teach learners to write many times in exercise books to help remember the correct words in future. The brain coordinates hand movements with eyes to record words. Repetition of the words written many times forever registers so etched in minds of pupils to remember better. But along came a contemporary educational theory it constitutes abuse to ask children to use repetition method to write lines for correction so avoidedsimpson-i will use google before asking dumb questions

So spell checker was born so people did not memorize words for rote learning for recall. Computers correct the words obviously misspelt but words like “cap” and “cup”or “hat” and “hut” for example though correct, if not in context can be incorrect. Drinking milk in “cap” does not show on spellchecker so the reader must know word “cup” in the first place to edit it. This affects spelling error not dealt still with by computer in modern times. Therefore it is important to teach correct words in academia for life as a whole. The Bible says if you correct wise people and they become wiser and love you but correct mockers and they hate you. Choose correction carefully at right time in right way to help improve lives. Purpose of correction is not to shame a person in a negative way for vengeance to hurt them. People who love and care about you help with any issues affecting you to deal with it by Godly correction, compassion, support, understanding as God disciplines us.  3

Godly discipline is for good so it is not punishment though unpleasant because one is compelled to conform or comply against own rebellious ideas. Proverbs 9:8 warns not to attempt to correct fools because they are offended so hate you. Adapting to change is uncomfortable so may seem harsh to recipient until they benefit when they correct the error. So Correction requires determination by the teacher to help ‘wise’ to be ‘wiser’ as challenge to one doing correction. Their unpredictable nature, response reaction to correction depends on the persona at receiving end. Element of risk means a teacher helps learners to avoid mistakes to help correct them through a training experience. Criticising a person affects correction as attack on ego or pride may refuse help or reject correction. In the long run, over a period of time, people realise an insolent person’s ignorance is caused by fear of change. So help stop the devices of mistakes damaging them. Lack of Frontal Cortex means those in crises do not know how mistakes can impact lives. Sadly, some learn the hard way by self-destruction that could be avoided if only they listened. proverbs3_11-12Through arguments a stiff neck refuses to take instructions so does not realise the errors done to themselves or to their family. Blinded by error mindset, causes havoc by process of fear rebuff or reject correction so avoid a pointed out error altogether for improvement. The theory that correction discourages children in the early years from learning affects the attitude to correction in general. Left to figure things out for themselves, many people are unaware of their mistakes. So it becomes problems affecting their performance if the person is allowed to be left to their own devices. In terms of future career the person carries on into other areas of life. Anyone who points out errors to them other than own ideas is not well received. Although a trainer from experience knows exactly what they are talking about, so foresees error, the learner does not accept help, refuses correction. Yet correction is specifically for their good, well-being of the whole family or work place, community and world in general.Profitable-for-RebukeIf a stubborn person resists wisdom at all cost to defy authority in the name of freedom to do as they please, they miss out on the Spirit of excellence. Realise boundaries of correction helps to learn better ways to protect them from a long winding road of mistakes. Like prodigal son, God forgives and restores the ways of error to rescue the lost or misdirected by the wrong choices they made. Proper correction helps to avoid, prevent worse case scenarios. A person corrected must be educated to visualise or understand benefits of the correction in advance. So learners must be taught advantages of correction to instill value of flexibility, humility to bring changes in learning methods. Correction is not to inflict pain or suffering but guidance to give correct information to the person taught. The teacher must be patient and tolerant because learners do not immediately see what they teachers know. Important to understand a soft stick bends because it is malleable than a hard dry stick. The concept that learners grow up to correct themselves is not always the wise move. As they continue in set ways without an understanding of the impact of previous years without correction. Many adults get offended when genuine people try to guide them to correct errors. Some explode in anger and rage so take anger on others. This even spills over into the others aspects of life treating anyone’s suggestions in good faith as an attack on their character or personality. 54126707d4518b751f9145ee5d192841

Reprove not a scorner lest he hates you, rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man so he will be still wiser, teach a righteous man and he will thank you and apply correction in their lives. Correct fools and they take offence. Do not despise chastening of the LORD God; neither be weary of HIS correction. So accept correction for your own goodAccept correction of God by Grace and wisdom of the Holy Spirit to lead you into all truth and teach you. A personal Bible study as a faithful Child of God is part of growth and maturity in the LORD. Start correction of children as early as possible from 2 years old to correct them in love at their level not by anger. Teach children by pointing out correct manner of behaviour as part of life for all to learn. It is imperative to carefully train a child to get rewards for their good behaviour to help reinforce correction. Follow up with apology and hug so child learns to accept teachers doing well to teach child to accept critique of work performance. Children with trained good sense accept correction and even recognise error by admitting error if unnoticed by teacher. A child can politely point out error to a teacher because all are human, so make mistakes in life. The secret is to get up immediately for good success not to feel disheartened by correction. Correction is good as it builds a person up to thrive.

THE FAKE & FALSE PASTORS

Jesus said many fake pastors and false prophets deceive and mislead people to misdirect genuine faith in God. So Bible forbids practice of occult, black magic, sorcery, consulting dead or astrologers. When you live on land the LORD God gives you do not follow abominations of heathen nations. There shall not be found among you anyone who makes sons, daughters pass through fire or practice witchcraft, or soothsayer or interprets omens or sorcerer, conjures spells or a medium or spiritist or calls up the dead. Or casts spells to hex and curse people because vengeance belongs to God. For all who do these things are abominations to the LORD your God who drives out enemies from before you. You shall be blameless before the LORD your God. For nations dispossessed listened to soothsayers and diviners for you, the LORD your God forbids it in Deuteronomy 18:9–13. Bible says be wise to test the spirits to discern and see if they are from God Almighty through Jesus Christ. The devil thrown out of heaven is determined to fool some people to think following the TRUE GOD. Recruits deceiving spirits to mingle in churches to create deception, confusion, strife, entice, entrap souls to hell. God never forgives devil banned from Eternal life in heaven forever kept in hellfire after 1000 year millennium Reign of Jesus on earth. The devil roams about seeking to recruit to destroy some people to take to hell reserved originally exclusively only for devil and rebellious angels turned demons. So deceives and destroys people using fake counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders or rituals thinking the devil is ‘protecting’ them. Rituals embedded in ‘culture’ accepted as norm without realising abomination sin judged by God. Many in fear of life sent by families consult them for ‘help’ with fertility, childbirth, health, wealth ensnaring souls. God’s miracles mixed with trick potions to people invite devil to take control to own lives to destroy them in the end.

The devil knows the Bible better than some believers to quote verses as he did to Jesus Christ. Jesus already knows the real true words of God so said to devil “it is  written.” The trouble is they do not read, study or know the contents of the Bible or God’s Will concerning their lives. So turn to psychics, palm readers and fake charlatans to tell them what to do in life. They do not seek their creator or maker to help plan their lives but do take advice from such people enriching themselves at the expense of their lack of knowledge. God says HIS PEOPLE perish due to their lack of knowledge of Bible. God lets them delude themselves by thoughts of reprobate imaginations concocted in their minds. The devil is ready to use and abuse them to distract them from the true love of God. There are millions of genuine pastors doing will of God helping, praying interceding, offering practical solutions, sacrificing time to assist genuine believers. But the ones who attend church and still mix belief in fetish in the name of ‘culture’ have one leg in the kingdom of God and another leg in satan’s world. God says to choose today whom you will serve. If you believe in the One true God, belong exclusively to God alone, do HIS WILL ONLY. Cannot hop on one leg in God’s Kingdom or other to devil but stand in God in Christ on both feet and firmly grounded and rooted in Christ Jesus. True Christian believers come totally under new management of Jesus Christ so old things pass away and all things are made new in the BLOOD OF JESUS IN JESUS NAME. So changes take place inside the heart to transform and renew mind in Christ TRANSLATED from the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of God’s Glorious Marvellous Gospel of Light in Jesus Christ Name. God has not given believers the spirit of fear but of POWER, LOVE AND A SOUND MIND. So repent and serve God in the Strength of God’s WORDS and devil runs from you. Do not seed fetish ‘protection,’ Seek God Almighty Jehovah Nissi to save you for Eternal life forever. Jesus came to save, heal, deliver you from all destructions and works of the devil over your lives in Jesus Name. Trust God completely to do greater work publicly in your life so to testify by BLOOD OF THE LAMB JESUS CHRIST. Remember, the blood of bulls, goats cannot save only THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE OF JESUS IS ACCEPTABLE TO JEOVAH YAHWEH IN JESUS NAME.

WOMEN & MEN FRIENDSHIPS

1033.gifWomen have intense close friendships, men tend not to have that according to Professor Dunbar, the Psychologist Professor at Oxford University. Professor Dunbar found women view best friend relationships in between sisters and soul mates. Men tend to see theirs purely in terms of the convenience. He came to this conclusion by exploring how people’s friendship circles changed when they left school for university. So what determined original friendships or whether they survived long-term? Did women make effort to talk more to each other on the phone as explored? And did “talking have any absolute effects on mens’ relationships at all? For men it was doing stuff together that held close friendships together. Doing activities like going to a football match or the pub for a drink, playing five a side was more meaningful to men. They made effort if was such an activity.” He looked at the differences between the sexes and said women clearly have much more intense close friendships than men. Men tend not to have that sort of relationship but they tend to have a group of four men they do such stuff with. So relationship is much more casual. With men it is out of sight out of mind. They just find four more guys to go drinking with.”The cast of Channel 4's university-themed sitcom Fresh Meat The cast of Channel 4’s university-themed sitcom Fresh Meat. This will be familiar to any woman who has had both the pleasure and disappointment of close male friend particularly in their twenties and thirties. At first, things are wonderful. Life is full of great catch ups, and laughter over pints of beer. They listen to your woes and you help them with their woman problems. It is the friendship neither knew needed. Only then, something changes. They start a new relationship. They move to a new postcode really not very far. They get a new job with a ready-made social life. They get a new flatmate. Whatever the change they suddenly have the new set of replacement ready and can’t seem to find the time to meet you for that coffee. You, naively, keep trying. You call them, you send jokey pictures and do exactly what you will do if that was a girlfriend growing distant: bombard her with the attention you wish she was showing you. Except with a male friend, it just does not work. Whether it is nature or nurture, most men simply do not view friendships in the same way as women. Gender is hardly the issue it is practical problem of how much time and effort they put into a platonic relationship. As the study says, there’s always another drinking buddy around the corner. Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with BenefitsJustin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with Benefits. Men reading this may feel unfairly judged. So I put it to a colleague and current male friend let’s be honest, the second we stop sharing a desk, I will never hear from him again. “Some of my best friends are women,” he says vaguely. When I ask if the effort he made with friends is comparable to that his girlfriend makes with hers, he begrudgingly accepts that he could not spend hours on the phone with his pals of either gender. He lost count of the male friends who have disappeared over the years. Often, it coincides with the arrival of a new girlfriend. But contrary to popular interpretation, it is rarely to do with that new girlfriend’s jealousy. As one former male friend charmingly told me: “I have to hear all my girlfriend’s emotional stresses now. I don’t have time for yours.” With male mates like that it is probably no surprise all efforts go into his female friendships. And now academics backed my choice.tmg-article_default_mobile

Steps To recover friends

  • Stop pre-empting: Sometimes we are anxious when we do not need to be and it creates conflicts with friends in our heads. Your friend may be sitting thinking the same thing; not think anything is wrong.
  • Do not be consumed by guilt: Often you feel guilty or embarrassed you did not make contact for a while. This is what is getting in the way, try not to hold onto these feelings.
  • Face conflicts that arise: If your friendships is worthwhile you should be willing to fix them, ask what has gone wrong, what their position may be to work  solution.
  • Set objectives: Once you have discussed the issues don’t let them drag on, make a decision to move forward and set practical ways of keeping in touch and letting the other know you care.
  • Find positive aspects: Friendship may take on a different form with distance allows space to see things objectively. You may be able to help each other more, to make use of the distance when you can.

THE SUPERFAST INTERNET

IMG_20170503_113609 Superfast fibreoptic internet is built by farmer’s wife Christine Conder for 2,300 members, rural community Lancashire as a revolutionary internet pioneer. Her DIY solution solved neighbour’s internet connectivity problems in 2009 evolved into B4RN internet service provider of a faster gigabit per second broadband speed to parishes in picturesque Lune Valley. Is 35 times faster than 28.9 Mbps UK speed internet connection according to Ofcom. Began when trees separating Chris’ neighbouring farm from nearest wireless mast only internet connection provided by Lancaster University grew too tall. Something more robust was required and no alternatives available Chris decided to take matters into her own hands. She purchased a kilometre of fibre-optic cable and commandeered her farm tractor to dig a trench. After lighting the cable, the two farms were connected, with hers feeding the one behind the trees. “We dug it ourselves and we lit the cable ourselves and we proved that ordinary people could do it she says. It was not rocket science just 3 days of hard work. Her motto she often repeats in conversation, is JFDI. Three of those letters stand for Just Do It. The fourth is work out for yourself.unnamedB4rn in actionFibre optic cable cattle grid. And JFDI she has. B4RN now claims to have laid 2,000 miles 3,218km of cable connected to string of local parishes to its network. It won’t connect a single household, so the entire parish has to be on board before begins to build. Each household pays £30 per month, £150 connection fee, larger businesses pay more. And households must do some installation themselves. The entire infrastructure is fibre-optic cable right to the property than just to cabinet with existing copper phone lines running to home generally offered by British Telecom. The service is so popular the company has work lined up for next 10 years and people from as far as Sierra Leone attended the open days held couple of times a year. The bulk of work is done by volunteers although there are now 15 paid staff on board. Farmers give access to their land and those with equipment like diggers and tractors do the heavy work. Other landowners can charge B4RN complain on Facebook page about price of cabling under a disused railway bridge owned by Highways England. A spokesperson told BBC standard industry cost include a £4,500 fee for surveying, legal fees and price per metre for cable installation. So B4RN has yet to make profit once it pays back shareholders it should be in good financial health although on condition profits ploughed back into community. Chris’ services to rural broadband have recognised by the Queen was awarded an MBE in 2015, alongside Barry Forde, a retired university lecturer who now leads the co-operative.nl26_03_160928_photo_2_1.jpgcalfNewborn cattle registered online within 5days in UK. Incredibly B4RN customers had been surviving on dial-up services or paying high fees for satellite feeds. So Chris says some still do. As farmers now register online with the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) within 5 days of every calf being born to enter food chain, connectivity is vital. “All the farmers who have not got broadband have to rely on land agents or auction marts or public wi-fi spaces which we haven’t got round here either, or paying somebody to do it,” says Chris. Farmers finding dial-up just could not cope with it. They bought satellites, but children use all satellite feed for things and when they came to use it at night there was no feed left, gone over data and they were being charged a fortune for what they then used. “So the farmers have been incredibly supportive of this and that is why they have given us free rein throughout the fields, which we go through to connect them and then we get to the villages which subsidise the farmers’ connections. “You could not do it for farmers alone, but you could not get to the village without farmers so it is win win.300C.jpgB4rn in actionnl13_01_160701_IMG_4504Independent fibre broadband providers like Gigaclear serve 50,000 customers in several UK counties and Hyperoptic is active in 13 cities. They all claim to offer 1Gbps speeds. “The best way to make sure this country has faster up to date internet is support alternative networks says Chris. “When there is competition BT will then up their game. “We cannot do the whole country. BT, Virgin etc are good businesses, they are in it to make profit, as businesses do.” Openreach, currently a division of BT, owns the UK’s largest broadband infrastructure. Big picture is a plan alongside government to get 95% UK fibre coverage,” said Kim Mears, Openreach’s managing director of Infrastructure Delivery. The provider upgraded 90 small Community Fibre Partnership, set up to work in areas it describes as “hard to reach.” Ms Mears appealed to those struggling with poor connectivity to make contact. A lot to gain if communities come together we are really here to help,” she said.

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THE AFFAIR

With the festive season comes the time to socialise and celebrate to let the hair down to relax and enjoy life. Soon the atmosphere of goodwill means offices  are relaxed and new friendships formed. It is crucial to to watch out to avoid bizarre affairs. Someone one was attracted to but off limit becomes innocent best friend to confide in. Relaxed office environment and party atmosphere means boundaries are broken. Influences of alcohol and substance abuse lets inhibition and guards down. People do not set out to have an affair. Novelty of attention compares long – lasting monogamous stable marriage to ridicule spouse. Friendships cross over subconsciously into affairs. Reinforced by music, songs, lyrics published, brag about daring exploit of infidelity as conquest. Companies train people to conduct affairs undetected. The world celebrates affairs in TV dramas, media, newspapers. Some in relationship look for discreet indulgence for fun. Others need emotional relationship, romantic friendship, passionate attachment long – gone in marriage. Some have affair at play fair so meet adulterers via specialist dating websites to enjoy leisure and pleasure. Most may not feel unloved by partners nor have desire to leave them. But convince and justify third-party to become involved in the new relationship for lust. Texts professing love, showering praises of how wonderful, beautiful is flattering. So told one is best thing that happened to them in secret phone calls, texts and attention.images

Although all evidence points to affair, texts, bizarre behaviours, body language, perfumes, lip sticks, awkward silences, restlessness,  yet the person involved vehemently denies the affair. Third party told and reassured you are best thing that ever happened to them. Everything is going well, life is great so his full attention every hour, minute, second, receives endearing affirmation texts. Without you, they profess life is meaningless. So you return the love, ensuring you take great care of them. One devotes entire life to meet their needs so at their beck and call day or night. Although all evidence points to affair, in body language, perfumes, lip sticks, awkward silences, restlessness, secret phone calls, texts, the person involved vehemently denies the affair. Told and reassured you are best thing that ever happened to them. Everything is going well, life is great so his full attention every hour, minute, second, receives endearing affirmation texts. Yet in defiance of the law for monogamous marriages married another. Some started off as a bit of fun and side kick to be disposed of when fed up. Only to realise addictive entanglement cannot be so easily broken and shaken off Scot free as they thought. Coupled with affairs are weaving the web of deception to keep up with the dubious lifestyle.images (1)The self-deceiving person projects self-destruction onto partner as cause of problems. So the thrill of demolition of another’s spouse makes one feel more than a conqueror. Cheered on, mislead, use, abuse the rescuer from their sadness. They think affair makes them happier from ‘unloving,’ ‘uncaring,’ ‘cruel’ partner so made to feel wonderful as rescuer from miserable long-suffering. Often accusing the spouse or partner of going livid or mental for nor reason or even suggesting they are the ones having affairs to sear their guilty conscience and shift blame onto them. In the world of take over bids receivership marriage has victims. If one sees a happy couple having good times envy them jealously to replace the partner or spouse.  One feels great for such an accomplishment as stolen water is very sweet. This successful take over bid is rewarded by numerous gifts, cars, houses, holidays, cruises, clothes, shopping, unlimited credit cards and bank accounts to indulge to one’s pleasure. Eventually the little secret becomes scandal which finally relieves from burden of secrecy. The family becomes embroiled in tensions and confusions as the man becomes piggy in the middle. He withdraws from his long- term family emotionally. Although physically present, he is caught up with pressure to decide next move. The spouse comes to a shocking realisation as suspicions are confirmed and man feels relief.  At last, one is finally free to announce engagement and pretty soon the wedding. One has never been happier, receiving all the attention and affection from such a devoted loving partner unappreciated and considered evil by others and all the ex-partners and ex-wives. One hardly sees friends and family any more as this new person in is so satisfying and overwhelming one cuts off family and friends. Some may even forbid contact with friends and family as you now belongs to them.  The rings and assets showered as gifts prove their love so now you are hooked to them for life. The intimacy is so great one can hardly get hands off each other. With capacity for scoring several rounds per day and night. Finally the dust settles, and one is expecting at last. The ultimate proof of commitment to seal the deal of love is union of a child made together. The love child or lust child as more appropriately called is now conceived.

Preparation and attentions is focussed to ensure the conception party, the gender announcement baby showers part, baby room is decorated as desired. The next cycle of shopping starts with baby this and bay that with so many gifts. The love is intense as ever if all goes well with the pregnancy. The due date arrives for wonderful news it is a boy or it is a girl or both in case of twins. After birth, woman’s attentions shifts completely to baby in full swing gearing on auto pilot to focus on baby and recover. The body changes so not immediately appealing for intimacy. For wondering eyes once again, cycle begins for serial monogamy. As feels left in the lurch so provokes another woman to jealousy. So he begins to repeat regular pattern to deceive and fool the next woman without a conscience. Soon if the situation between the latest spouse is not redressed not redressed with therapy goes off to off wind on old flames for sympathy. Misery loves company so recalls good times of the past. After a while, the woman finally grasps they have been played. So start crying wolf with people who could foresee the consequences in advance warning them yet ignored, Unfortunately, they had to find out for themselves the hard way.

 They now fully understand it was their roving wandering  spouse who could not keep their parts up fully zipped. Yet projected their insecurities onto their ex by blaming and bad – mouthing to the naive new person to fool them into thinking they were better than wife. At first they are made to feel they can take a better care of the lousy unfaithful man. The foundation laid by a smooth talking gigolo cannot build up a long- lasting relationship. Although there may be success stories of women who took other’s husband’s or vice versa and it worked for them. One is tarnished forever by ungodly foundation of ruining someone’s family. Children of relationship find numerous half – sisters and brothers previously unknown. They may be forced into some sort of blended relationship to ‘forgive’ the home wrecker to become friends for the sake of the children. It is important to remember if they do it with you they will do it to you no matter how much the promise reassured you or put a ring on it. Some totally misunderstand the reality of practical life of relationships.

So do not compromise or learn to give and take to live in peace by agreeing to disagree on differences. So insist on changing partners fantasize in their minds with unrealistic life demands from spouses and partners. Some are perfectionists so no one is quite excellent to please them. Others become bored with family life, partying, mundane daily duties, tasks of housekeeping. Some seek new thrills as casa nova so permanently demand to remain fixated in dating honeymoon stage of relationships forever. So want to live in fantasy land like Peter Pan never growing up in never-never cuckoo land.  They give rings easily to naive girls and women to fool them into thinking they are sincere. Pretty soon they eat their cakes and have by getting their rings back. Damage done is not repaired after they play house. Yet people find it hard to resist enticing, seducing passion, attention, showered if feeling lonely like Bathsheba. King David had many wives yet when the king’s men and the whole Israelite army went to fight in war King David stayed behind at home. Bathsheba was the wife of Uriah the Hittite. King David played peeping Tom coveted by stealing Uriah’s the Hittites wife by affair with Bathsheba. According to the Bible in 2 Samuel 11-12:24 this happened in springtime when kings went to war. King David took her to sleep with him so Bathsheba was King David’s most famous wife because of their illicit extramarital affair at the height of David’s reign in 1005-965 B.C.  Bathsheba gets pregnant so King David sent for Uriah to try to conceal his sin but he refused to go home for comfort to sleep with wife while others died in trenches defending nation. King David gave Uriah his death warrant given to Joab so put in the most dangerous part of battle and killed. King David’s evil plan worked, but GOD saw it, so sent Nathan the Prophet to condemn and judge King David’s actions. God said, ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before eyes I will take your wives and give them to one close to you and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. 12 You did it in secret but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’’ 13 King David said to Nathan, “I sinned against God.”Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin so will not die. 14 But because by doing this you shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” King David humbled himself and confessed his sin but paid a hefty price of calamities by his actions which affected whole family for generations. On the contrast, Joseph refused to succumb to a similar invitation for adultery by Portipher his Master’s wife.

009-joseph-potipharKing David humbled himself and confessed his sin but Joseph was a young Godly man in a strange land without family support. Portipher’s wife wanted to take advantage of his vulnerability so demanded unrealistic attention of affection from Joseph. Fearing God Joseph rejected her advances as the affair was not right. It would destroy God’s vision and future plans for Joseph if he sinned with such a  person with wrong motives. Joseph remained loyal and faithful to God by refusing to SIN AGAINST GOD. God’s Holy Spirit in Joseph and FEAR OF GOD reinforced Joseph’ ability to not commit adultery in marriage by extra marital affairs due to wondering eyes. Joseph rejected Portipher’s immoral advances. Yet endured punishment for standing firm to do the right thing. So in 1 Peter 4:12-14, Christian believers go through fiery trials to refine their faith and renew their strength. What does not kill one makes one stronger. So Joseph was refined as pure gold by enduring the test of morality. This helped Joseph to build up a strong monogamous marriage.  

Practising self-control, as a single person who does not indulge in fornication helps remain faithful in marriage. Practising serial monogamy multiple relationships makes it harder to suddenly settle down to stop addictive behaviour. This is why spouse is seen as enemy who prevents them from happiness with other women. Some feel caged by marriage so simple requests to be serious to take responsibilities of life cause resentment. Joseph, endured being uprooted from his native land like Sarah who was barren considered a curse in Middle Eastern culture up to age of 90, being held captive, and being exposed to the advances of foreign kings twice. She completely shared Abraham’s journey with God in a spirit of faith, courage and self-sacrifice if necessary.  In order to protect her husband, Sarah agreed twice to enter a foreign king’s harem where she could have potentially been greatly harmed and defiled.  Still, she obeyed her husband , though faced risks Sarah was covered by God’s protection blood covenant.

So God ensured they led their lives and God rewarded Sarah’s obedience and rescued her from Pharaoh’s and King Abimilech’s harem.  Clearly it was God who did not allow the King of Gerar to touch Sarah. And God said to him in a dream, ‘Yes, I know you did this in integrity of your heart.  For I withheld you from sinning against Me. I did not let you touch her in Genesis 20:6. Through it all, she remained faithful to God, to her husband, and to her calling. It is never too late or become so desperate to take another’s husband because one’s biological clock is ticking. God says Christian believers who have faith in God and believe, shall still bring forth fruit in old age so shall be vigorous and flourishing in Psalm 92:14. Sarah’s gave birth to Isaac in old age so expect remain vitally active in latter years. Sarah was her husband’s partner in life and his equal.  In Christian faith and belief they are both equally created in God’s Image and Likeness. So considered excellent teachers in their own right, with Sarah teaching the women and Abraham teaching the men.  And God Who sees all needs Will duly reward them if they remain loyal and faithful God. The fact that Hagar conceived and not Sarah caused Hagar to think she was more spiritual, better and more blessed than Sarah. In her pride, she exalted herself over Sarah and became insolent so Sarah felt betrayed and humiliated. Hagar learned her lesson the hard way so paid a hefty price for compromising herself with a married man Abraham.  The promises given her as surrogate mother of their child turned sour. So God visited Hagar and provided for her and Ishmael. Above all, Abraham and Sarah repaired their marriage while Hagar was thrown out literally with the baby. Abraham and Sarah restored their marriage. A single Godly man or woman is to devote their full attention to serving God. Most men face threats the bigger and more successful they are. Women desperately want them despite other young attractive single men around to marry. They forget the wife is the pillar behind his success nurturing, education, sponsored, supported, fed, clothed by wife beautifying him. Working hard to pay she pays mortgage, buys car for him and raises his children. Women outside see it and want the man only to discover in shock it was not what they imagined. Once such men become successful they treat wife as mother so go looking for younger women for pleasure-seeking adventures.Servants, nannies, housekeepers, butlers, chaperones, gardeners, chauffeurs, best friends and relatives end up in abuse, depression, damaged by affair they dare not meddle with in the first place.  The addictive behaviour endorsed by the world affairs triggers the flesh to lust to live carnal lifestyle. Some Christians live exactly like unbelievers without sexual morals. Intensity of new-found passion is pleasure replacing predictable love boredom in marriage. Being made to feel one will replace lousy spouse is flattering and endearing. But this helps buy time for affair to last longer as one is captivated with future plans to be together forever. Meticulous planning of secret rendezvous, subtle, exciting times of secrecy for intimate passion seem undying love so fascinating and thrilling. Many found themselves bamboozled by the charming partner already tethered to another spouse.

Yet just as the spouse was treated it soon becomes romantic interlude after the ecstatic high moment. Pressure from the woman to legalize relationship to ratify affair to sear conscience does not help. Being forced to abandon the spouse and children seems like a great achievement but soon returns to haunt the victim who instigates it. It eventually fizzles out exactly as the previous relationship a few years later. Rushing to become the new spouse feeling on top of the world as the new trophy wife  soon passes for the next person to take over. Others driven to end affair weigh all options so do not leave wife as not worth losing, family, friends, mortgage. Hagar had bitter end to affair so realised cost of emotional pain. Although the beginning was romantic, with all she attention enjoyed, it did not end in marriage. As the man is definitely intimate with wife to keep pretence of not having an affair going.He may say all the evil derogatory things about wife  to convince you are the best love of his love but do not be fooled into thinking you are God’s gift to him. And do not blackmail him with God told me I am your wife using his obedience to God to compel him to marry you. Statistics show less than 5% of men leave wives for other woman with whom they had an affair. They use the affair to opt out but not marry  person due to tarnished reputation associated with relationship. Due ethical, legal, financial problems of divorce, religious beliefs or recognised attached affection for wife. It is extremely comforting for the man to create a quiet space to rest and relax. This is the case of setting up a second or third homes to escape crying baby and cluttered toys. The spouse loses confidence so feels tortured for enduring marriage. The quiet bachelor pad turns into war zone by nagging wife. They lose trust, feel disconnected so spouse in feels tarnished with feeling ignored and abandoned with children.
Above all displaced by the children preoccupied wife from devoting full attention to spouse. The husband feels justified and entitled to seek affection elsewhere with an amoral person rather than deal with the overwhelming marital responsibilities. The other woman becomes enabler but financially, emotionally does not have a leg to stand on. An emotional attachment or bond ends after the affair is over. The habitual adulterer finds a way to extricate from relationship and is painful. Even if the one says she’s just interested in something casual, she gets hurt. I think a woman’s interest in a man grows once they are sleeping together but a man stays interested for about a month then he stops as hormonal evidence to substantiates. Despite deep feeling of love or wonderful expression of professed love he practically knows keeping you as mistress causes problems for his family so will not divorce wife. Remember the chase is often better than the catch because of the fantasy and anticipation of craving of forbidden fruit. When it’s over, he moves on to next thrill for the sake of his reputation and children. In extreme cases, due to his status and stature in the society, he conceals the affair. Due to implications of positions of power and authority he devises false lies to discredit the other woman. If she threatens to blackmail or expose the affair publicly to humiliate him he turns on the other woman with vengeance. So labels her as a stalker, insane, mentally unsound person, a mad woman  some put restraining orders and injunctions to exonerate themselves. Some get killed by other woman in jealous rage or husband trying to get rid of wife to pave way for mistress. Others blacklist and spread false rumours to try to disgrace her. It is a case of if they cannot have her nobody else can.  Prayer is needed to restore marriage.

Women not alert to manipulative games allow themselves to be ridiculed, mocked, cut off from friends, family who help them recover from affair or broken marriage. It is important to remember despite success of on-line relationship you relate with the person according to what he tells you. Do not define or design your life based only on a man’s profession of love for you. Your life is worth more than romantic life and marriage. As hard as it sounds, eternal life beyond this earth has absolutely no physical marriage. The idea of being single means feeling less human, something wrong with you deceives to fall for anything that comes your way. To be seen as belonging in relationship is used to deceive people into rushing into affairs. Others do not want responsibility of duty of marriage so prefer to be other woman to eat their cake but have it. They think they get the milk for free without taking care of cow. Repent and restore your life by reconnecting with God your creator and spouse before it is too late. Be prepared in the marriage to maintain romance and love in the cooling down moments of marriage. You cannot build you future on emotional feelings which change or start a family from snatching another’s husband an expect him to be loyal to you. A leopard does not change it spot. What you see, approve of you get in payback return to haunt you sooner or later. so decide and fear God like Joseph. God wants to heal marriages and families. The divorce rate among Christians is as high as non-Christians. Adultery does not only happen in bad marriages as believed but really if not affair proofed unprotected good marriages are exposed too. Proverbs 5:18 talks about enjoying wife of youth. Appreciating your woman’s physical beauty should be reserved in marriage for marriage.

Do do not copy the secular world to make unrealistic demands to undermine the marriage. Do not marry for sexual intimacy because intense phase does not last forever so changes after a while. Covenant agreement to obey God’s will through thick and thin is the secret of successful marriage if Christian. The cycle is repeated as many times as ‘unhappy’ daddy or mummy continues to seek ultimate non – existent partner so acquires more partners and spouses. One cup of coffee leads to another and with another or together. One soon hears rumours of indiscretion heard from others or seen. For some it is never-ending until death takes over lives to account to Maker God for breaking His Commandments and devastation heartache caused others on earth. If they do not repent, they may end up in hell for lusts of the flesh.

Seek God’s face and be true to God’s words not fleshly lustful emotional feelings. Forgive and repair the marriage by therapy. Date again and renew vows by new marriage ceremony. Pay attention to each other more. Today Christian believers are covered by God’s Protection and blood cover of Jesus Christ. So can live in integrity if they choose to do so without compromise.

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