Bereaved mother’s day celebrates their precious memories of loved ones who passed into heaven. Mothers nurture children so their loss feels like the heart is ripped out. After crying until no more tears left this day is also a time to reflect on good times to remember loved ones. Recalling a loved ones nature, favourite foods, jokes, life, personality, nuances is still part of life within family. Continue to talk if ones feels like doing so, cry if it is how one feels, sing, dance, join others especially friends to express loved one’s life from various forms. Family, friends, colleague’s take on life with loved ones different so shared experiences from a fascinating perspective. memory book and collage of loved ones to post on a wall, Facebook, website anywhere they are celebrated. Passing into Glory is not the end of life neither is it an end of your life. Heaven is continuation of life on earth so continue to remember and to honour memories. Out of all the challenges of life the loss of a child is the worst form of pain because no one expects to bury their child. One expects children as arrows in the quiver to bury parents to continue the family line. Such unexpected events happen in life and despite adversity life goes on. Especially the loved ones do not want to be their source of grief and sorrow forever. One great lesson learnt losing a loved one is one understands how God feels about giving HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON as ransom for many. Bereavement is an experience one cannot fully describe to anyone unless they have personally been through it too. However, God Omnipotent is loving Father even in the midst of pain, grief and sorrow our God is good all the time and all the time God is good. And Father God strengthens and comforts through the Holy Spirit our comforter. There are days one copes better than others and other days one feels like is meaningless without loved ones. Loved one are part of life in family so not lost just because they passed into Glory to be with our LORD. As a matter of heaven connects directly with earth on a constant daily basis that life is in tune with both. God’s will is done on earth as it is in heaven so GOD sends angels to surround and help us sometimes we are unaware of God’s Divine interventions on earth. So mother as many people as you can and if possible keep memories alive and be available to support others in similar situations. God entrusts mothers with a family as stewards and so does the best they can to look after their loved ones. It is important to remember Psalm 117:7 says God cares about the righteous who die so knows and understands the pain of grief. With prayer, praise, Worship of God and support of friends and family a loss is easier to bear.
Mourning with HOPE and trust God to carry you through the dreadful pain of bereavement. Another powerful source of encouragement is to remember that life on earth is a passing journey. Our life on earth is wonderful but as citizens of heaven our real home is heaven in the presence of the LORD Jesus and Father God. Then in Rapture the dead arise together meet Jesus into the clouds into heaven. End time events rapidly approaching on earth point to a world-changing as Jesus said in Matthew 24 warned. And so with God all things are possible including the strength to live and go through bereavement grief with God holds your hands and footsteps of Jesus in the sand carries you through the difficult days. Each day is different so embrace love of God to endure to the end as a faithful steward of God in Jesus Name with thanks and Glory to God.
Traumatic tragic death bereavement is completely unexpected loss, worst form of grief people go through. Suddenly changes lifeplan dramatically, cancels activities so a shock to the system. One minute conversation is taking place about life but the next minute subject changes to unexpected death. It is most painful if the person appeared healthy, full of life with a great future suddenly cut short by death. The numbing shock of loss is hard to sink in and feels that loved one is about to walk through the door home. Seems like a dream, surreal but wide awake with sleepless nights so deep within the heart an overwhelming pain lingers on. Everyday passes by without a text, contact or phone call, facebook so realises it must be really true. Shock is a normal reaction and unbelief deceased person is really no longer with us here on earth. Sudden change of plans means numbness while taking in loss starting to sink in. Though we understand death as part of life it does not make it easier to accept. Death is painful and difficult to experience it hurts beyond belief and complicated. At times pain seems insurmountable but support and a therapy can help to understand, accept and ease the pain. After death of a loved one life is never the same but talking therapy helps to provide skills and tools to assist with creation of the new normal to integrate life into new existence. Annette was on the way to mortuary when Julia phoned to support death of daughter Amber, aged four, who drowned in a swimming pool, and going to see her body. Many people would not call at that moment they feel encroaching on a raw traumatic grief. Julia, friend of couple, a psychotherapist specialises in dealing with loss knows when people in throes of overwhelming grief, sharing the pain is the only thing that makes even the tiniest difference. Grief professionals don’t have endowed special powers its empathy compassion. Phil answered the phone, so Julia liked to say something to make it better but knew nothing could do that, so she said the only thing she could. “I am terribly sorry to hear your daughter, Amber, has died; I’m sorry the devastating pain that has happened to you. How can I help?” 25 years as grief psychotherapist taught Julia great deal about human condition that focus on grief means focus on life, loss exposes things that matters about a person, their strengths and weaknesses. When someone dies, it reveals faultlines in bereaved family, even deepest, most hidden ones. If you know about loss you know about family, about love, survival, resilience and strength. Knowing about loss means you know about life. But there is a paradox at the centre of loss, and it is this. Grief is the most intense pain there is, and we will do anything to avoid pain. So we run away from it; we run away from our own grief, and we run away from others’ grief. Yet, says running away from grief means we will not recover but embracing helps move through the agony and deal with pain.
Allowing ourselves to be while it washes over us, is only way to survive because we have to feel the worst in order to let it change us. Then we can start to find out who we are going to be in wake of it. This is the message at the heart of Julia’s new book, Grief Works. “If you ignore grief and push it down, you can live and you can function, but you live a very narrow emotional life because using emotional energy to cope,” she said. “Everything in psyche will be squashed down, and that means small things can trigger a much bigger kind of effect. The fact is to do the work of grieving. You have to let it run its course. Pain is agent of change; pain allows you to change, it enables you to reach a new reality.” Her book traces journeys of many of the bereaved people she has walked alongside; she describes how she wept and mourned with them. “let clients know what they say has an impact: Tell them when feels shocked, sad or upset,” she says. So talk about relationship with bereaved and a relationship with friends in service of a deceased. Say what you feel if thinking about them if it’s useful to share. One of the many moving stories in her book is that of Bill and Sally, whose 13-year-old son Matthew died of rare virus. Sally tells Julia losing her son has made her feel dead, no more expectations of life; so does not want to go on living. “I said quite plainly, although she was giving up on herself, I refused to; I would fight for her, held her and whispered hidden strength within her said, to live.’ Julia, in 50s, mother of 4 grown up children, grandmother of four, vivacious and fun: has time to feel recharged with life. You know it helps feeling of clients who like Sally regain joy to be alive again. Helps Julia’s interest in answering questions on experiences of traumatic loss to help open hearts for the healing process.
There are two sorts of loss, says Julia: expected loss and traumatic loss. And perhaps, for one in her profession, her own losses have all been expected ones. Her father died at 87, sad, grieved but it not traumatic loss. Bereavement work involves charity Birthright, Well-being of Wo/men made her aware of the pain of losing a baby although wonders was unconsciously influenced by parent’s loss of three parents and three siblings by the time they were 25. “Everything seemed OK, but thinks back aware of some unresolved grief. Almost only personal experience of a shocking, out-of-nowhere, loss figures such death brought loss closer and changed how to deal with grief. Julia was a close friend of Princess Diana, a connection echoed when asked by William and Kate to be a godmother to Prince George in 2013. That is, she says, a very joyful role lots of fun, and the chance to enjoy the little boy as he grows up but she doesn’t want to say much about it or Diana, save she agrees her death made difference to the nation’s approach to grief. So, too, she says, did other major shifts of history, especially the first and second world wars. “Our parents, parents of people of my generation, were the generation that couldn’t afford to grieve. Were parented by survivors of first world war simply to survive but modern luxury means able to deal with it differently.”
Despite public outpouring of grief after Diana’s death, doesn’t think most people are sufficiently aware impact traumatic bereavement has, the ripples it leaves or how long they persist. As someone who experienced a traumatic loss at the age of nine, when three-year-old sister was killed in road accident agrees with her analysis. It is 44 years since death, and shockwaves still reverberate in the family: everyone is different because of it, next generation touched by it in ways too subtle for them to fully understand.
Traumatic losses shape future of family as subject of great interest to Julia; so, is the way men and women deal with loss differently. Men, tend to want to move on to make plans, to focus on new horizons. Women on other hand want to spend more time remembering the person who died so want to immerse themselves in the pain. But the fact is, each can learn from others. “You have to do both things: you must have time to grieve and mourn and other time when you have break from the grief. You can create circumstances where you grieve, and circumstances where you move on; so men and women help one another. He can help her go for a walk to a park or gallery can help him talk about how he feels to express some of his loss.” The problems set in when individuals fails to understand the pattern of grief in the other; they think of them as selfish or they don’t care enough, but it isn’t about that due to the different ways of coping. Grieving is an intensely individual and incredibly lonely experience, which can make it difficult time in family, group of people going through something sparked by same event, but is in each case very different. The way to cope, is be open in communicating feelings to others in your family. Families that fare best share feelings openly when a death disrupts complex finely tuned balance in a family. So needs a reorganised and open approach to help with process.”
At the beginning, and this is especially true of a traumatic loss, the grief is all-consuming: but over time, says Julia, you find you are starting to live again. The mistake some make, though, is believing they can go back to being the way they were. “Some people say, ‘This isn’t going to change us.’ But that’s not how it is: and it’s when you recognise that bereavement is a life-shattering experience, and that you have to grieve and rebuild, that you can move on positively into a new phase of life. You don’t forget the person who’s gone; you can never do that, and you should not worry that you’re going to. But you keep them in memory so their loss helps you become a new person you become; and maybe in the end is greatest tribute to make to anyone who passed to Glory. Grief affects us all so hope in God and read HIS beautiful WORDS in Bible to guide prayers. Powerful scriptures will help you face feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is very normal to feel it is not really true the person is still alive soo will be at home, then in shock, angry they died, hoping the loved one comes back alive, realising they passed on into Glory and finally accepting loss and accepting new unexpected sudden sad changes of life. Crying, weeping, feeling low not eating properly, sad, confused, depressed are all part of feelings of pain, hurt of loss, bereavement, grieving and mourning. It is normal to feel helpless, lost without a loved one with deep sorrow and pain. One helpful action is remember a loved does not want your life destroyed and ruined because of them. They see you in heaven so like you to live and continue life despite feeling changes happening. There’s no shame in being sad. The life we’ve been given was never promised free of pain or sorrow so during times we hurt most run to God and HIS Word for peace and comfort. Psalm 117:7 says God cares about death of the righteous.
Help from family and friends
Listening. Be a friend who is prepared to give their time, to listen and to acknowledge the extent of your friend’s loss. Listening is the key. Bear witness, and allow your friend to be upset, to be confused and contradictory, or to say nothing at all. Every time they tell their story once more, or are allowed to say how important the person who has died was, burden of carrying pain on their own is incrementally a little lighter.
It’s not about you. Follow a mourner’s lead: they may not want to talk about their grief right now, or with you. It is good to say something to acknowledge their loss, but then let them have the control they need, they had none over death so choose to talk or not. If they ask you to come and be with them, and want to talk openly to you, go. If they truly don’t want a visit or don’t want to deal with it at that time, don’t force it on them. Don’t confuse need to speak, call, contact, with friend’s need of privacy to come to terms with grief. Some kings or or important dignitaries, leaders buried in secret. Deuteronomy 34:5-7, Numbers 27:13-28 says God buried Moses Himself without gravestone marker, headstone, monument remain unmarked, Israelites not have idol worship. So Moses’ eternal soul rests in peace buried in the Moab valley opposite Beth Peor near Mount Nebo from plains of Moab near top of Pisgah. None knows where Moses’ body buried, concealed in grave stops people flocking to idolise him. In Jude 1:9 angel fought with Michael over Moses’ body, only unique burial by God. Moses’ body soul, alive in Transfiguration met Jesus with Elijah alive from heaven on Mount in Matthew 27:1-10.
Mourning state of total shock and disorientation exempts you from performing actions requiring attention to detail. Time is given off work at least minimum of 2 weeks plus due holidays to grieve and mourn. Time is needed to sort out paper work, fill in forms and to notify various agencies of the departed. In mourning people wear symbolic or an appropriate colour suitable for the age of the departed. To be able to attend unhindered to funeral arrangements it is important to dress appropriately. The family decided obligated choice agreed on to help support family. Immediately following burial mourning the mourner does not listen to music, go to concerts, does not attend joyous events or parties unless absolutely necessary. If a date set prior to death strictly forbidden or to be postponed cancelled. Week-long period of grief mourning observance referred to by time to grief. During this period all mourners traditionally gather the home and receive visitors. Mourners refrain for a week from showering or bathing, wearing leather shoes, jewelry, shaving. Some communities cover mirrors in the mourner’s home so they not concerned about their personal appearance. It is customary for mourners to sit on low stools or even the floor, symbolic of the emotional reality of being “brought low” by grief. Meal of consolation first meal eaten on return from funeral consists of hard-boiled egg or other round oblong foods. Biblical hospitality means during this seven-day period, family, friends or colleagues visit and call on mourners to comfort them. Is considered great time of kindness, compassion to pay respects to visit the mourners. No greetings are exchanged, visitors wait for mourners to initiate conversation. Mourner is not obliged to engage in a conversation and may completely ignore his/her visitors. Visitors take on hosting role, attending to guests, bringing food and serving it to the mourning family. Mourning family avoids cooking or cleaning during this period. Those responsibilities become that of visitors to ease burden and pain.
Acknowledgment. Death isn’t catching, but those who are bereaved might think so, judging by the fear they see in other people’s eyes. People are frightened about whether to come forward, about what to say, about saying the wrong thing so, in the end say nothing. All of that comes from a belief whatever you say should make things better but have enough wisdom to make the pain more bearable but you can’t or need to. Be kind enough to acknowledge them and their suffering is difficult enough. Offer to be there if they need you, suggesting that they should be the one to ring you, is probably asking too much of your friend at this time. It is better if you take the initiative and make contact, and then follow their lead: they may want to see or speak with you or not. Often, people don’t make contact because they feel they don’t know the bereaved person well enough. If you are erring one way or the other, better to err on the side of making contact.
Practical help. Doing practical things is often what really makes a difference. Don’t say, “Let me know if I can help”; actually do something helpful. At the beginning of a bereavement, there may be a lot of people around, so bringing food may be the best thing you can do. Taking food around for longer than the initial crisis is particularly appreciated.
Honesty. Be honest because honesty is comforting and easy to deal with. So direct honesty helps complex messiness of grief so an enormous relief to people. Be honest about what you actually can do rather than covering up because you feel guilty about what you can’t. And be specific to say, “I’m going to come round for half an hour” or come on Tuesday” don’t say, “I’ll come when you want, tell me, and I’ll be there”, and then find you can’t deliver on that offer.
Be sensitive. Being honest is important, as being sensitive. Promiscuous honesty is not a good idea. Be aware of showing too openly your life is trotting along as happily as can be, feels like you rubbing their nose in your happiness.
Be in it for the long haul. Remember to make contact and be supportive after everyone else has gone. Usually three months following the death, people get back to their lives, as they should. But it is by no means over for the person who is bereaved. Sending a text or popping is hugely supportive.
Writing. Letters, cards, texts or emails: it doesn’t matter what you write – all are extremely helpful. It is better, however, to say that you don’t want a reply, because some people simply can’t respond. And it is never too late to send them. It is a welcome surprise to receive a card much later, because it is when everyone else has forgotten and your friend is still grieving. When you do write, try to make it personal and avoid tired cliches such as, “She’s had a good innings” or “Better to have loved and lost because they are trite in some way diminish personal importance of this very loved person who died. You don’t need to go into long explanations of why the person died or theological explorations about death; be loving and personal, warm and acknowledging.
RAPTURE ETERNAL RESURRECTION
Believers have assurance of eternal life in Christ so mourn with hope for their resurrection. In the Bible Jesus raised Lazarus from death, widow of Nain son, Peter raised Dorcas, Paul raised young man who fell dead sitting on a window ledge. The dead arose alive when Jesus was crucified and went into town seen by many people. We pray and ask GOD to raise loved one too in Jesus Name so thank God Jesus raised Lazarus. Bible says Christianity lasts beyond earthly life into heaven so mourn and grieve with hope in Jesus Christ. Christians call death falling asleep to pass into glory to be with God. Although grief pain hurts deeply and so feels tragic loss yet know future reunion family circle will be complete in heaven in the Presence of God Almighty. In the Rapture, the dead in Christ will first be resurrected to join those alive together to meet Christ in the clouds into heaven. The signs of the end times are predicted by Jesus in Matthew 24. So death is part of transition into eternal life although it is better to have loved ones on earth as members of a family, God calls them to higher service in heaven. Rest in peace safely beloved in the loving arms of God so no more sorrow, grief, pain, tears we love you and miss you terribly but God LOVES you more. We shall see you one day in Jesus Name for you are delivered because your name is found written in the BOOK OF LIFE according to Daniel 12:1-2. All asleep in Christ in dust of the earth wake to everlasting life in heaven in Glory in GOD’S PRESENCE. The Holy Spirit of God is our Comforter in times like these so we draw strength from the word of God to carry on in life in Jesus Name. GOD Our Father Comforts us too through His Love and Words of comfort from loved ones, friends and family.
Extract from Grief Works by Julia Samuel
Gaming addiction classified as disorder by WHO – World Health Organisation. An article byaccording to Oxford University study states that boys are more likely to spend time gaming than girls. Gaming addiction is to be listed as mental health condition for the first time by the World Health Organisation. 11th International Classification of Diseases (ICD) includes the condition “gaming disorder.” The draft document describes it as a pattern of a persistent and a recurrent gaming behaviour so severe it takes precedence over other life interests. Some countries already identified it as a major public health issue. Many, including UK, have private addiction clinics to “treat” the condition. The last version of the ICD was completed in 1992, with the new guide due to be published in 2018. The guide contains codes for diseases, signs and symptoms and is used by doctors and researchers to track and diagnose disease. It suggests abnormal gaming behaviour should be in evidence over a period of 12 months for diagnosis to be assigned but added that period might be shortened “if symptoms are severe.”
Gaming Addiction Symptoms include:
- impaired control over gaming (frequency, intensity, duration)
- increased priority given to gaming
- continuing escalation of gaming despite negative consequences
Dr Richard Graham, lead technology addiction specialist at the Nightingale Hospital in London, welcomed decision to recognise condition. It is significant because it creates the opportunity for more specialised services. It puts it on the map as something to take seriously.” But he added he would have sympathy for those who do not think the condition should be medicated. “It could lead to confused parents whose children are enthusiastic gamers.” He said he sees about 50 new cases of digital addiction each year and his criteria is based on whether the activity is affecting basic things such as sleep, eating, socializing and education. He said one question he asks himself is: “Is the addiction taking up neurological real-estate, dominating thinking and preoccupation?” So many psychiatrists refer to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the fifth edition of which was published in 2013. The Internet gaming disorder listed as ‘condition for further study’ meaning not officially recognised as controversial matters are assigned. It will have serious repercussions if the gaming industry accepts responsibility. If families sue them the businesses will collapse as multibillion industries.
Gaming is introduced to young children before forming prefrontal cortex brain so damage is done through radiation too. Many are absent-minded, aloof, not in the here and now able to experience the common sense needed for survival. Extreme cases often display a psychotic pattern of behaviour. Hallucinations if under stress, pressure or struggling to keep down job due to gaming addiction. Lots of countries are grappling with the issue and the South Korean government has introduced a law banning access for children under 16 from online games between midnight and 06:00. In Japan, players are alerted if they spend more than a certain amount of time online each month playing games. In China, internet giant Tencent has limited hours that children can play its most popular games. A recent study from University of Oxford suggested, although children spend a lot of time on the screens, they generally manage to intertwine digital pastimes with daily life. The research is looking at children aged eight to 18 and found boys spent longer playing video games than girls. Researcher Killian Mullan said: “People think that children are addicted to technology and in front of these screens 24/7, to the exclusion of other activities and we now know that is not the case.” “Our findings show technology is being used with and in some cases perhaps to support other activities, like homework for instance, not pushing them out,” he added. “Like adults do, children spread digital tech use throughout the day, while doing other things.” This issue is ongoing yet gamers become professional gamers, game designers or Internet experts.
However, majority are struggling with school and college work, frustrated, angry, manifest withdrawal symptoms from multiple addictions of high sugar, E chemicals in food, poor decision-making abilities, with stunted growth spurt development stuck in the childish mindset from the age of onset of gaming. Unable to enjoy free mind to grow as previous generations exploring outdoors daily for long hours. Getting a fresh air, physical exercises playing and interacting with friends. Many now live isolated detached lives in their bubble world cocooned in a virtual reality. The years of repeated gaming addiction now affect even basic communication and the social conversations. With majority of school, college, work and the world turning into virtual online lifestyle it is even damaging their health too. Like an issue that is not solved quickly, it leads to aggressive behaviour, sometimes tensions in families. Expecting for such future generations to grow up and take on the responsibilities and duty of care is getting worse. Som parents continue to ‘ raise’ adult children traumatized by gaming addiction and dark web porn. It is an expensive industry where games cost so much causing bad habits as big spenders on games wasting money that could be saved to buy or own home. So become dependent on parents as the bank of mum and dad. Domino effect is serious and even more dangerous when parents lack knowledge and awareness of gaming addiction. Treatment is hard because they are prone to using online facility for study, work shopping, social interaction often tired and lethargic.
Many need other hobbies especially outdoors like football hockey, biking, swimming or a practical outdoor volunteer centre to help others to learn practical life skills. In any case this generation faces challenges making choices and decisions even harder and harder everyday by gaming addiction. Often starts as fun time to relax, then it escalates into complex issues. Some children used parent’s bank accounts to run thousands of dollars worth of debts due to gaming addiction. Schools must teach dangers of gaming addiction as part of general knowledge awareness. When children are young parents must not buy expensive games because all the friends have one and they feel left out. Looking back some parents would have been better off investing a gaming money into extra tuition funds to help a child do better academically. Or pay for music, piano lessons to calm children and learn vital skills. Games change so rapidly that it becomes a life time habit not a phase to grow out of. This is a serious matter to be dealt with globally because it affects children in formative years and influences their thought and worldview. In addition some contents are completely unsuitable for children yet parents unaware of such dangers. Encourage reading skills from with real books they can hold first before ebooks or online ones. Computers are good and useful but can cause harm to children if not used properly under supervision. If parents do not know how to computers take basic lessons to learn safety, adult and child security online and upgrade often to learn new skills to help your children before it becomes too late so turn into gaming addiction disorder.
People make New Year’s resolutions to keep fit and pray more, read Bible every day, attend church regularly. These are fantastic goals yet New Year resolutions fail as often as non-spiritual resolutions because there is no power in New Year’s resolution. Resolving to start, stop doing certain activity has no value unless with proper motivation to stop or start that activity. For example, why do you want to read Bible every day? Is it to honour God and grow spiritually or because you feel and heard it is good to do so? Why do you want to lose weight? Is it to honour God with your body or is it for vanity to honour self-image, to impress others to find you more attractive to fall in love? Is it for a genuine reason to lose weight if delivered of baby? Isaiah 65:17 says behold God will create new heaven and new earth and so former things not be remembered or come into mind.
Philippians 4:13 tells us, “I can do all through Christ who gives me strength.” John 15:5 declares, “I am the Vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit apart from me you can do nothing.” If God is at the center of your New Year’s resolution, it has chance for success, depending on your commitment to it. If it is God’s will for something to be done and fulfilled HE will enable you to fulfill it. If a resolution is not God honouring or in agreement in God’s Word we will not receive God’s help in fulfilling the resolution. So, what sort of New Year’s resolution should a Christian make? Here are some suggestions: (1) pray to the LORD God for wisdom (James 1:5) in regards to what resolutions HE would have you make; (2) pray for wisdom as to how to fulfill the goals God gives you; (3) rely on God’s Strength to help you; (4) find an accountability partner who will help you and encourage you; (5) do not become discouraged with relapse or set backs or occasional failures, instead allow them to motivate you further; (6) do not become proud or vain but give God the GLORY. Psalm 37:5-6 also says, “Commit your way to the LORD; trust in HIM to bring things to pass and to make your righteousness shine like the dawn and the justice of your cause bright like the noonday sun. 2 Chronicles 29:17 says, begin the first day of the first month sanctify yourself and on eighth day of month come to the porch of the LORD God Almighty. Sanctify the House of the LORD on eighth day and the sixteenth day of the first month make end to sanctification.
To learn a language some reel off on a list of the typical resolutions made and broken. To know for certain resolutions you are more likely to keep you must do certain things. You decide resolutions you should make but research reveals some clues as to how you should carry them out. There is evidence humans are driven by “loss aversion” that is, more motivated to recover loss than to win gains. That means prevention is better than Cure. Framed resolution to recover something lost is old hobby and former level of fitness is more effective looking than gaining new ability or appearance. This feeds into key piece of advice for a successful resolution is be real: SMART = Specific + Achievable + Measurable + Realistic + Timed. Ensure you keep up with resolution, willing to receive help, feedback to update you on progress. If possible get professional help or friends trained in area of interest to you. Learn to adapt and accept tough changes as it is said, crucify your flesh to endure or no pain no gain. Life is full of challenges so be firm and disciplined with yourself. If you indulge in calories in a day that takes years to shift you cannot expect an overnight miracle. Be practical avoid tempting places attractive for relapse.
Pope Francis’ Top New Year Resolution: Take care of your spiritual life and your relationship with God, because this is the backbone of everything we do and everything we are.”
– “Take care of your family life, giving your children and loved ones not just money, but most of all your time, attention and love.”
– “Take care of your relationships with others, transforming your faith into life and your words into good works, especially on behalf of the needy.”
– “Be careful how you speak, purify your tongue of offensive words, vulgarity and worldly decadence.”
– “Heal wounds of the heart with the oil of forgiveness, forgiving those who hurt us and put balm of Gilead on all wounds we cause others.”
– “Look after your work, doing it with enthusiasm, humility, competence, passion and with a spirit that knows how to thank the Lord.”
– “Be careful of envy, lust, hatred and negative feelings that devour our interior peace and transform us into destroyed and destructive people.”
– “Watch out for anger that can lead to vengeance; for laziness that leads to existential euthanasia; for pointing the finger at others, which leads to pride; and for complaining continually, which leads to desperation.”
– “Take care of brothers and sisters who are weaker … the elderly, the sick, the hungry, the homeless and strangers, because we will be judged on this.”
Involve other people
Dr John Michael, a philosopher at Warwick University, studies the social factors involved in making and keeping commitments. He says its more likely to keep resolutions if we see them as being somehow important to other people or “other people’s wellbeing is at stake” if we fail. That might mean committing to attend a class with a friend. The effect could be stronger if you have to pay in advance once we feel someone has invested time and money in something, we are more likely to see through our commitments. Dr Michael is currently testing the theory some more motivated to prevent loss to other people than to themselves. Early evidence from this work suggests people more motivated do continue a boring or a difficult task somebody else has invested effort in.
Reputation is also a powerful motivator. Making resolutions public helps to keep them since for fear people will think less or worse of you if not see through so add reputation to your resolve. “We don’t want reputation as unreliable, so publicly announcing plan is motivating. Challenge people go dare you bet to do it still more motivating,” says Prof Neil Levy at University of Oxford. Willpower is not enough and so make a detailed resolution is necessary and important, he adds. Say, “I’ll go to gym on Tuesday afternoons and Saturday mornings” is more likely to be successful than simply saying “I’ll go to gym more” according to Prof Levy. He recommends intentions to specific cues called ‘implementation of intentions.’ If you want to really learn a language, you first resolve to listen to language-learning podcast on commute each morning. Then, to improve your chances of success further make sure you stick a note to the steering wheel of your car each night to remind you to play it on your journey in the morning. You’re not just making a intention but setting out steps to implement it too.
He warns of the potential for “decisions to become precedents.” “Implicitly we recognise exceptions (I won’t go to the gym if the house is on fire). But we can exploit this to detriment by expanding exceptional circumstances. A birthday is legitimate so comes once a year. If I start recognising exceptional things that occur more often its last week of month better to start on the first or it’s too cold to get out of bed early. Making excuses so everything becomes an exception,” Prof Levy says. Make your resolutions part of your longer-term plans and so some things have to be on a list for life.
Make longer-term plans
For Dr Anne Swinbourne, a behavioural psychologist at James Cook University, Australia, the best resolutions are ones that achieve a chunk of a longer-term plan you have for yourself, rather than those that are vague and aspirational. If you’ve never shown an interest in sport, resolving to become a brilliant athlete is unlikely to stick and so resolving to save money because you’ve always dreamed of travelling the world before you turn 50 might be more successful. Keeping them is about planning, she says. Work out triggers and negative behaviour you want to discourage and also put positive behaviour to encourage in place. If you want to drink less alcohol, plan to meet friends for coffee but not in pub. People who rely only on willpower mostly fail according to Dr Swinbourne. To keep a resolution, you have to be so meticulous and have a plan.” Ensure you time each activity within overall schedules, adapt to change by keeping it simple. Do not overwhelm yourself with multitasking resolutions impossible to achieve. Start and do not despise small beginnings.
Mankind faces upheaval of robot trends in hotels, airports, hospitals and homes. There is a strong argument in favour of advantages of using machines that now replace people in industries, factories or personal carers at home. The shortage of staff in underpopulated regions with the aged requiring care are some of the arguments used. Modern trend demand people adapt and get used to machines or miss out. In 1998, Kodak had 170,000 employees and sold 85% of photo paper worldwide. Within a few years their business model disappeared and they went bankrupt. Interestingly inventor of digital photography in 1975 Steven Sasson worked for Kodak but Kodak ignored the new technology and in the process ignored their future!! Some say what happened to Kodak will happen in a lot of industries in the next 10 years and most people don’t see it coming.Did you think in 1998 that 3 years later you would never take pictures on paper film again? Yet digital cameras were invented in 1975. The first ones had 10,000 pixels, but followed Moore’s law. As with all exponential technologies, it was a disappointment for a long time, before it became way superior and got mainstream in a few short years. It will now happen with Artificial Intelligence, health, autonomous and electric cars, education, 3D printing, agriculture and jobs in the 4th Industrial Revolution. So the Exponential Age, Software will also disrupt the most traditional industries in the next 5-10 years. Uber software tool does not own cars but the biggest taxi company in the world. Airbnb is the biggest hotel company in the world, although they don’t own any properties.Artificial Intelligence Computers said to be exponentially better understanding the world. This year, a computer beat the best Go player in the world 10 years earlier than expected. In the US, young lawyers not getting jobs. Due to IBM Watson you can get a legal advice so far for more on a basic stuff within seconds with the 90% accuracy compared with 70% accuracy when done by humans. If you study law it is good to immediately think about areas of specialisation. People say there will be 90% fewer lawyers in future so only specialists will remain. Watson already helps nurses diagnosing cancer, 4 times more accurate than human nurses. And Facebook now has a pattern recognition software that can recognize faces better than humans. By 2030, computers will become more intelligent than humans.Autonomous Cars: in 2018 the first self-driving cars will appear for the public. Around 2020, the complete industry will start to be disrupted. Some don’t want to own a car anymore since you will call a car with your phone, it will show up at your location and drive you to your destination. You will not need to park it, you only pay for driven distance and it can be productive while driving. Future kids may never get driver’s license and never own a car. So it will change cities, because will need 90-95% fewer cars for that. So can transform former parking space into parks. 1.2 million people die each year in car accidents worldwide. It says one accident in every 100,000 km, with autonomous driving that will drop to one accident in 10 million km. That will save a million lives each year..Most car companies may become bankrupt. Traditional car companies evolutionary approach builds better cars, while tech companies Tesla, Apple, Google will do the revolutionary approach and build a computer on wheels. A lot of engineers from Volkswagen and Audi are said to be completely terrified of Tesla.Insurance Companies will have massive trouble because without accidents, the insurance will become 100x cheaper. Their car insurance business model will disappear. Real estate will change since you can work while you commute, and people will move further away to live in more beautiful neighbourhood. Electric cars won’t become mainstream until 2020. Cities will be less noisy because all cars will run on electric. Electricity will be incredibly cheap because now Solar production has been on an exponential curve for 30 years so will see impact. In the last year, solar energy was installed worldwide than fossil. So price for solar will drop so much all coal companies may be out of business by 2025. Cheap electricity means cheap and abundant water. Desalination only needs 2kWh per cubic meter. We don’t have scarce water in most places, we only have scarce drinking water. Imagine what will be possible if all can have as much clean water as wanted without cost.Health: There will be companies that will build a medical devices called the “Tricorder” from Star Trek that works with phone, takes retina scan, blood sample and breathed into. It analyses 54 biomarkers that will identify nearly any disease. It will be cheap, in a few years everyone on this planet will have access to world class medicine, nearly for free. 3D printing price of cheapest 3D printer came down from $18,000 to $400 within 10 years. At the same time its 100 times faster. All major shoe companies started 3D printing shoes. Spare airplane parts already 3D printed in remote airports. The space station printer eliminates the need for large number of spare parts used in the past. By end of this year new smart phones will have the 3D scanning possibilities. You can then 3D scan your feet and print perfect shoe size at home.In China, already 3D printed completed 6-storey office building. By 2027, 10% of everything that’s being produced will be 3D printed. Business Opportunities now mean if you think of a niche you want to go in, ask yourself: “in the future, do you think we will still have that?” and if answer is yes how can it happen sooner. If it doesn’t work with phone, forget the idea. And ideas limited in design for just success in the 20th century is doomed in to failure in the 21st century. Workers with 70-80% of jobs will disappear in the next 20 years. There will be a lot of new jobs, but it is not clear if there will be enough new jobs that time. Already unemployment is rising in terms of the people getting appropriate relevant job.Agriculture will have $100 agricultural robot in future. Farmers in 3rd world countries can then become managers of their field instead of working all days on their fields. And agroponics will also need much less water. The first Petri dish produced veal is now available and will be cheaper than cow-produced veal in 2018. 30% of all agricultural surfaces are used for cows so imagine if we don’t need all that space anymore. There are several startups to bring insect protein to the market shortly. It contains more protein than meat. It will be labeled as ‘alternative protein source’ because most people still reject the idea of eating insects. There is an app call “moodies” which can already tell in which mood you are. By 2020 there will be apps that can tell by facial expressions if one is lying. Imagine debates displayed when people tell the truth or not. Bitcoin will be mainstream and might even become the default reserve currency. Right now, average life span increases by 3 months per year. Four years ago, the life span used to be 79 years, now it’s 80 years. The increase itself is increasing and by 2030, there will be more than one year increase per year. So we all might live for a long long time, probably way more than 100. By that time the elites will have a secondary Brain embedded close to both sides of their fronto-temporal scalp it stores information about their experiences books they read what they heard etc through a High Def Camera below the eyelids. Those who can afford it forgetfulness is a past phenomenon.Advanced stem cell technology will also allow “choosing” own organs or replace defective ones early. Life expectancy will be around 115 to 125 yrs in most of developed world and around 100 years in the rest of the world. Education: The cheapest smart phones are already at $10 in Africa and Asia. Until 2020, 70% of all humans will own a smart phone. That means, everyone has same access to world class education. Are you ready for the future. With so much benefits of progress agreed, question is what shall be done with the unemployed humans displaced? Some say the available free time means all will all be on holidays. It will indeed be wonderful to put feet up to let hair down to enjoy life. So robots and machines do all the work and serve humans. A few humans program these robots so intervene when required. Yet the reality of the mass unemployment without income and zero hour contracts is of concern that must be addressed. It is important to reflect on these matters because people have become homeless, unable to afford homes. People still pay bills, eat, pay cost of travel, student fees, rent, mortgages, taxes, etc. Whether one earns income or not bills get higher and higher. Artificial intelligence deliberate tactics based on the Georgia guidelines in America like 10 commandments is to reduce world population to 250million. Creating starvation, deprivation, lack of resources, burying tons of good food in the soil while people starve. This is all part of that strategy so few people own everything, living in luxury while the rest are dealt a bad hand. On paper all these sounds fantastic yet the reality is the MAJORITY of humans suffer as a result. Robots in industries mean loss of jobs, starving and poverty but is not dealt with in the news. Since privileged few already have enough on their plate they are not too keen or interested in plights of those displaced unemployed. It is absolutely true robots are essential today in some fields, save lives, drones deliver goods. However if one truly and honestly analyses overall cost of longterm investments in robots, the machines deprive workers of jobs. .In addition, they do not raise children, feed families, pay tuition fees or rents and mortgages. On one hand robots are necessary but on the other hand too it is important to ensure humans are not all replaced by machines. The humans now globally have no jobs, resources or land in the hand of a few. Most investments and the profits go to shareholders who benefit not the staff laid off on the dole. Trillions of dollars are invested globally to create robots with zillions of electric wattage used to run them. But it affects electric power and oil supply needed to generate electricity. Alternative to fossil fuel like wind turbines still need electric to power them. Now when a problem is solved it creates lots more problems not foreseen by inventors. When Tsunamis, tornadoes, floods, wildfire, thunders or toxic waste burnt trickle into soil to shut down whole neigbourhoods, nothing is done to rectify problems. As long as the rich share holders are happily making more money they do not care about the damage done to the earth. The rush to overproduced cars, gadgets with inbuilt obsolence means products are changed for cosmetic or aesthetic reasons than functions. This creates disposable waste of tons of plastics that natural speed of human working hours would curb. The rat race constantly produces more items than realistically purchased so is shredded or buried in landfill that could be used for housing. A greedy excessive love of materialist products consumer habit damages planets with pollution. It is industry driven to produce faster, get to places faster and faster because it is easier to do so than work in tune with nature. The passion for wanting things yesterday to meet demands results in a need for the faster production methods beyond human abilities. That is why the robots are man’s friends to help them to accomplish their wants faster. It is good to be able to enjoy life and live a little yet longterm damage climate change is irreversible. The world already pays the price of sufferings from global turf wars over natural resources fuelling robots. It peaks beyond measure with plans for all future living mechanised by robots, people are displaced and frustrated. The young people graduating all over world feel the robotic trend of displacement. The good news is when things peak God will intervene by Rapture to restore earth to organic natural wholesome beauty again like paradise. God owns chariots, wheels in wheels technologies and a great designer of unique human intelligence. Technology displaces the workers but life in general improved. Machines replaced, outmoded, causes toxic waste in landfill sites buried at or burnt to destroy archaic old technology. Humans still need to program robots but must work alongside humans. Lots of businesses, companies are shut down or gone bankrupt due to changes. And online businesses affect direct human personal touch interaction on a daily basis. These issues must be addressed as much as debates in favour of using the robots and machines. The world is now reaching tipping point of inability to sustain these design using solar power or nuclear power. The pursuit of more power to maintain robots damages use of natural resources diverted by hydro power displacing communities. Many farms and food production destroyed by the seizure of generational family lands. The hybrid genetic modified foods often lack rich natural nutrients for organic food remedies created by God. Limited land use of the area means depending on imported foods than local produce. Robots are useful and helpful but must not be allowed to displace and destroy humans in the process. Both must live alongside each other with dignity of human life not dehumanising people.