The word Christmas carol is a theme of “Christmas” based on music related to Christmas. Christmas carol hymns had lyrics message of Christmas. Christmas carol is sung traditionally at Christmas itself or in holiday season. Christmas carols are regarded as the subset of the broader category of Christmas music.Sequence” or “Prose” was introduced in the Northern European monasteries as developed by Bernard of Clairvaux into sequence of rhymed stanzas. In twelvth century the Parisian monk Adam of St. Victor began to derive music from such many popular songs, introducing closer ones to the traditional Christmas carol.In thirteenth century, France, Germany, and Italy, under influence of Francis of Assisi the strong tradition of Christmas songs in regional native languages sang so music styles developed. Christmas carols in English first appear in 1426 by John Awdlay, Shropshire chaplain, lists 25 “caroles Cristemas” sung by groups of wassailers from house to house.The songs we know specifically carols were originally communal songs sung during celebrations like harvest time as well as Christmas. It was only later that carols begun to be sung in church, and associated with Christmas. Research has conducted on carol singing, but one of the few sociological studies of caroling in the early 21st century determined sources of songs are misunderstood.
Christianity
A VIRGINITY CLOTH IN BIBLE
Leviticus 21:13: ‘He shall take a wife in her virginity.
Deuteronomy 22:15: The girl’s father and mother must bring proof of a girl’s virginity to elders of the city at the gate.
1 Corinthians 7:36: If a man acts toward his virgin FIANCEE PAST HER YOUTH as an adult let them marry. For deliberate delays of parent’s demands of dowry to cause to fall into sin of fornication by a father or guardian fiance can do what he wants but not sinned. If he thinks he is being sabotaged delayed to suffer MARRY her neither breaks law of God. Parents to support couples not frustrate them by lavish unnecessary competition to show off wealth. The word of God on advice of the apostle is its much better to marry than burn to be exposed to any snare and temptations to break up. This is not a licensed excuse to fornicate.Jeremiah 31:21: Set up guideposts direct your mind to highway you went. Return O virgin of Israel, Return to your cities.
Judges 11:38 He said, “Go.” So sent her away for two months; and she left with her companions and wept on mountain because of her virginity and loss of life.
2 Samuel 13:18: She wore a long-sleeved garment as a virgin daughter of a king dressed in robes. His attendant took her out and locked the door behind her. So Tamar raped is rejected by Ammon and this infuriates Absalom to kill Ammon.
COTTON BLACK SLAVE TRADE
Argentina influx of African slaves began in colonies of Rio de la Plata in 1588 the kidnapped Africans sold and shipped from West Africa to Americas and the Caribbean. Buenos Aires port English traders used to import slaves through to provide slaves to East Indies, Spanish crown contracts Asientos to companies: Portuguese, English, Dutch and French. By 1713 Britain’s victory in War of the Spanish Succession monopoly trade by Royal Society of Philippines in 1787. Till 1784 ban, slaves are measured, branded despatched to Caribbean and America.16th century slaves from the Cape Verde islands as Africans brought to Argentina from ethnic Bantu territories of Angola, Congo, Yoruba, Ewe to Brazil. 12 million African slaves in Latin America through Montevideo shipped to Valparaíso, Rio de Janeiro. 10-15% slaves die in Atlantic passage, enslavement, travel interior of Africa. Before shipment 40 of 100 slaves died. Forced to work in agriculture or livestock, domestic work made crafts in urban areas, revenues went to masters. Buenos Aires in San Telmo, Monserrat slaves to interior provinces. The 1778 census by Juan José Salcedo of Vértiz, Africans in provinces agriculture were the greatest number.Alltex export processing zone (EPZ) factory in Athi River, 20km (12 miles) from the Kenyan capital Nairobi, July 31, 2009. Kenya’s exports to the United States rose 8 percent to 20.6 billion shillings ($268 million) in 2008, largely due to U.S. legislation to promote African trade, Kenya’s trade minister Amos Kimunya said. The U.S. African Growth and Opportunity Act (AGOA) has granted duty-free access for many sub-Saharan African nations’ products.To sum up cotton seed crop grows into mature cotton plant Gossypium in the field. Cotton is grown for its white fibre lint contained within the seed capsule’s bolls. The fibres are used to make cloth when plants are ready for harvesting. A first stage of harvesting is stripping the leaves from plant. Bolls collected turned into strings woven at textile mills by the garments factories. Traditional weavers use hand loom to weave various cloth patterns chosen for each fabric design.Cotton industries churn woven textiles fabrics at mills to garments in factories. Fashion overproducing more clothing is a scandal consumption cannot sustain the environment wasteland, shredding, burning, burying brand new clothes. As high street brands do not want ordinary people wearing exclusive collection and designs. Manufacturers think the brand is cheapened if worn by all people. They destroy tons of clothing claim insurance against their loss. It means the human, water, natural resources wasted in cycle repeated for many years, damage ozone causing warming climate changes. The world population exceeds 8 billion in the coming decade, fashion industry is expected to expand further. Pulse of Fashion report projects by 2030 global apparel consumption could rise by 63%, from 62 million tons to 102 million tons equivalent to more than 500 billion additional T-shirts. And fast disposable fashion is creating these environmental crisis. Trashing clothes is a huge waste of money. Municipalities pays billions of dollars per tons of waste globally each year. This issue needs to be addressed to educate industry fuelling the destruction of environment in name of fashion. The earth is the LORD’S and all things in it. Material possessions don’t define who a person is some miserable people in the world are among the richest. God will require an account for the use of HIS RESOURCES after Armageddon. Be wise to feed your spirit by inner strength not worry about what to eat or wear God says heathen worry about such things. God provides needs of food, shelter, clothes for dignity, warmth, not to show off wealth by vain apparels dress moderately. The earth and all people belong to the LORD in Psalm 24:1 do not destroy it by excessive greedy love of money and vanity God warns against. The past slave masters or colonisers are not alive though descendants enjoy their wealth, pointless to spew vitriol hatred on people some don’t know their ancestors were merchant slave traders. Vengeance belongs to Jehovah God Creator seek HIS FACE to help you not attack people to get you in trouble. They do not change through attacks causing problems for such perpetrators. It better to work together to seek God’s help in Jesus Name.
TRAIN CHILD FOR LIFESKILL
The Bible says train a child in the way they should go so when they grow they will not depart from it. Especially boys are struggling because they do not express their real feelings for fear of being judged weak. This program is wonderful so must continue through teenage years into adulthood. Limited resources must not stop mentoring them at the most critical times in their lives. Like other Science projects of Professor Robert Wilson among others this program must continue for the next few more years so their hard work will not be in vain. This men are doing a great job and need sponsors to extend it further beyond childhood. It will be good to follow up throughout their teenage and adult years so they retain their knowledge and manners. Other peers and friends that come into their lives later without similar training can influence the vulnerable ones. So need help and support of well wishers to continue this program into teenage years, university, training for skills, careers to transition into adult life. Programmes like First University of the Child and Connections in the Secondary Schools enable children to get the right guidance required. In the past projects were limited to 4 years funding if run by government and then changed into another project for the sake of funding conditions. This is not sufficient long term to help them fully grasp life goals for good success. Their contemporaries often get private fundings to develop practical life skills to continue into business men or the chief executives of corporate bodies. While this program is highly valued and appreciated, please let it not be another statistics of 1% success years later because others drifted off. Coach Carter stood by his basketball playing students in their teenage years despite challenges faced. Please continue this hard work into the future so we look forward to more success from this story. Please ask for more help if you need it to support this program. If you can help please do not wait to be asked first because this good success impacts the community and nation as a whole. Well done and God bless you for your sacrifices and precious times devoted to helping these priceless children. Please encourage their reading skills and academic studies too like Coach Carter. EYE CONTACT IS CRUCIAL BECAUSE OTHER CULTURES TEACH CHILDREN OUT OF RESPECT NOT TO LOOK DIRECTLY INTO EYES OF ELDERS. Misunderstood by Western Countries as “lying” unable to keep eye contact, picked on needlessly, harrassed by law enforcement, lacking important knowledge to understand the difference in the upbringing of children by other cultures. This Instagram photo by @bayouredd
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MUSICAL INSTRUMENT’S JOY
God created us to make music and use musical instruments to sing. Music is an important part of worship and praise to God. My school on Fridays dedicated the first two hours of school lessons entirely to playing musical instruments and to sing. It was normal school not a music academy so we loved Fridays and most students can sing verses of the songs by heart. The repeated sessions of singing songs ingrained music in our memory. This love of music expressed meant we knew our head’s favourite as this song was played daily. Fitting music is found throughout scripture, joyful therapeutic or healing music brings comfort to the soul. We rejoice in sounds of music and it unifies people of all cultures sharing collection music. This is joy brought to the whole world through most talented family in UK. A 17-year-old became first black BBC Young Musician, six brilliant siblings and the parents who sacrificed everything for them are all noticed too. The seven Kanneh-Mason children by all accounts each musically gifted as the next. Kadie their mother said, ‘I do not want to take from Sheku’s achievement, I know how hard he works for it. ‘But could really have been anyone of them.’Now 19 years Sheku won performer of the year named BBC Young Musician in 2016. The Judges said that his concerto performance in London is ‘electrifying, sincere and also moving.’ The audience marvelled that a young man preparing for his AS exams delivered such great music. Sheku is first black youngster to win title attended the comprehensive school reserve elitist classical musician. To encourage and support him and cry when he broke a string and had to start again were his mum Kadie, dad Stuart and six siblings. This is where Sheku’s remarkable story touches many lives as they were keenly interested in playing musical instruments. His siblings can win award too as two brothers and five sisters: Sheku, Isata, Braimah, Mariatu, Konya, Jeneba and Aminata play instruments to grade eight level. They wakes every Saturday at 4.30am to catch the train to London to attend junior school of Royal Academy. And Konya, 17 Grade 8 piano at 11, violin at 12 won many regional trophies and Jeneba 15 Grade 8 at nine and highest marks in the area. The Cellist Sheku Kanneh-Mason, 19, from Nottingham won BBC Young Musician. And Sheku Kanneh-Mason’s winning the Young Musician performance came through hardwork ethic, discipline, practice. This talented musician family of all six siblings are equally skilled in playing instruments. This most talented family in Britain, might be the most talented family in the world. Simon Cowell said so when six eldest siblings appeared on Britain’s Got Talent as Kanneh-Masons. This family collection of musical talents shows each plays brilliantly. The eldest, 21-year-old Isata pianist, former Young Musician finalist herself. She studies full-time at Royal Academy of Music, by scholarship paid for by Elton John with whom she performed. She plays violin and viola to Grade 8 standard. In two of her Grade 8 exams she achieved highest marks in country. Braimah, 20, violinist achieved his Grade 8 by age 12. Sheku, first picked up a cello aged six and had his Grade 8 by age nine with the highest marks in the country. Their parents not musical but sacrificed much to ensure children pursue their passions. Sheku and brother Braimah Kanneh-Mason. The really surprising thing is neither of the Kanneh-Mason parents is musician. ‘It started with Isata,’ as the mum Kadie explains. ‘We started her on the piano because she was very bright so wanted to give her something more than just a schoolwork. She was given one piece a week and mastered it in ten minutes. So ‘Isata set the tone and, when the others were born, music practice was normal.’
‘We never set out to produce orchestra,’ adds Stuart. ‘It came as a bit of a shock to us, too.’ Their home is given over to music in Nottingham suburb, detached. They have four pianos,’ says Kadie and three cellos, a viola, four violins. These children, called ‘prodigies’ as three of seven have perfect pitch. At home, four pianos, three cellos, viola, four violins, and children practice two hours daily. Consistency is the name of the game to ensure they are excellent at musical skills. Though talented, their successes are down to ‘hardwork.’ Each practises for at least two hours a day or more if preparing for exam or concert and Isata can play for seven hours. Dedication or passion for music came naturally and so were not pushed. The children love and enjoy music as Kadie said ‘they play like they breathe.’ The parents up at 4.30am on a Saturday, so deeply involved with children’s music, making sure a parent in every audience. Despite the high cost of train fares to music event all attend with their musical instruments. Once on way home, so exhausted Stuart fell asleep at the wheel car went into a ditch. He injured his wrist but thank God none seriously hurt decided to use train, despite costs. It’s a worry money dominates not Mozart or Mendelssohn. Costs of seven musicians in the family is quite daunting. Stuart’s work a business manager on a ‘good salary’ but Kadie, once university lecturer gave up work after child three. High costs means the family does not go on holidays in ten years. Their house of six bedrooms is heavily mortgaged and literally falling apart since every penny of our money goes on music. Have not decorated for years, tiles are coming off the roof. Never buys new clothes does girls’ hair because it’s too expensive to take them to all to hair salon. Car a wreck.’ Sheku able to enter Young Musician contest thanks to kindness of a retired luthier maker of stringed instruments. Frank White’s extraordinary loan of an entire package of instruments for the family, worth tens of thousands include Sheku’s first full-sized cello. Sheku’s amazing genius of musical sound hear Kadie says a broken dial oven emited high shriek Sheku identified note as ‘a very sharp G’ a wasp at window buzzing an ‘E flat.’Simon Cowell called them most talented family in UK when six eldest siblings appeared on Britain’s Got Talent a few years ago. ‘This could not happen if the sponsor did not donate instruments,’ Kadie says. ‘What would we have done without him? What will families do? I don’t know. One of Sheku’s strings cost £80. A cello bow is £2,000. The trains, the sheet music the overnight stays.’ All adds up so some assume they are rich like elite musicians of Royal Academy. Some are talented children from state schools joining private sector as parent with hole in shoes,’ says Kadie making extraordinary sacrifice for the children. Stuart says, we spend money on them as more important priority even if none a professional musician it is still worth it. ‘Playing instrument teaches discipline, self-belief, the importance of hard work. It gives them confidence. As parent, the joy is seeing them play together, or play on stage. They blossom with confidence in every area of their lives. I don’t think we will look back as money wasted.”
Issue of music provision in schools is a ‘woeful, inadequate subject,’ says Kadie. ‘I got free one-to-one lessons at school, I didn’t have a fraction of talent of my children yet not entitled to one-to-one lessons.’ Save for a few small council grants, Kanneh-Masons had no state help but support of schools particularly the comprehensive Trinity Catholic School in Nottingham is vital. ‘It’s a very unusual school, big on orchestras and “normalising” classical music,’ says Stuart. ‘A lot of teenage boys, feel it isn’t “cool” to play an instrument. Mercifully, ours never felt that.’ Meanwhile, race was not an issue for the Kanneh-Mason family until recently. Kadie’s family are from Sierra Leone, West Africa; Stuart’s from Antigua, in Caribbean. At school the children were always part of a mix of cultures. In the classical music world, increasingly aware they were rarities.
There are few more of us now but at the start in Academy, the only black faces were ours,’ says Isata. In the past few years the older Kanneh-Masons have all started to play in Chineke! Orchestra, Europe’s first professional orchestra solely of black ethnic minority players. Stuart believe change is coming, though, and that his family are at the heart of it. ‘I remember it being a huge thing when the first black footballers played in old First Division. Now look at how many black players there are at highest levels. It takes time but does happen and will.’ Sheku is not only the first black winner, but attended a comprehensive school – unusual in highly elite world of classical music. Sheku is looked up to as a role model for black children especially to help them believe all things are possible with God plus hardwork. Being part of a change is good for orchestra ethnic mix reflecting life in London or Nottingham. The colour of your skin has no bearing on how well you can play.’ Possibly the most extraordinary family watch them whenever you can, so fascinating. Two younger siblings, Konya and Jeneba, are already planning to enter next Young Musician contest taking place in 2018. It is necessary to remember that behind every great success or achievement is a loving, dedicated, supportive family.The Bible says in Matthew 6:25-34, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what you will eat, or what you will drink or for your body what you will put on. Life is worth more than meat and your body more than clothes. God will supply all your needs according God’s riches in Glory by Christ. GOD PROVIDES NEEDS IN JESUS NAME!!!
THE BLUE MOON TONIGHT
MOTHER’S DAY LOVE POEMS
A BEREAVED MOTHER’S DAY
Bereaved mother’s day celebrates their precious memories of loved ones who passed into heaven. Mothers nurture children so their loss feels like the heart is ripped out. After crying until no more tears left this day is also a time to reflect on good times to remember loved ones. Recalling a loved ones nature, favourite foods, jokes, life, personality, nuances is still part of life within family. Continue to talk if ones feels like doing so, cry if it is how one feels, sing, dance, join others especially friends to express loved one’s life from various forms. Family, friends, colleague’s take on life with loved ones different so shared experiences from a fascinating perspective. memory book and collage of loved ones to post on a wall, Facebook, website anywhere they are celebrated. Passing into Glory is not the end of life neither is it an end of your life. Heaven is continuation of life on earth so continue to remember and to honour memories. Out of all the challenges of life the loss of a child is the worst form of pain because no one expects to bury their child. One expects children as arrows in the quiver to bury parents to continue the family line. Such unexpected events happen in life and despite adversity life goes on. Especially the loved ones do not want to be their source of grief and sorrow forever. One great lesson learnt losing a loved one is one understands how God feels about giving HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON as ransom for many. Bereavement is an experience one cannot fully describe to anyone unless they have personally been through it too. However, God Omnipotent is loving Father even in the midst of pain, grief and sorrow our God is good all the time and all the time God is good. And Father God strengthens and comforts through the Holy Spirit our comforter. There are days one copes better than others and other days one feels like is meaningless without loved ones. Loved one are part of life in family so not lost just because they passed into Glory to be with our LORD. As a matter of heaven connects directly with earth on a constant daily basis that life is in tune with both. God’s will is done on earth as it is in heaven so GOD sends angels to surround and help us sometimes we are unaware of God’s Divine interventions on earth. So mother as many people as you can and if possible keep memories alive and be available to support others in similar situations. God entrusts mothers with a family as stewards and so does the best they can to look after their loved ones. It is important to remember Psalm 117:7 says God cares about the righteous who die so knows and understands the pain of grief. With prayer, praise, Worship of God and support of friends and family a loss is easier to bear.
Mourning with HOPE and trust God to carry you through the dreadful pain of bereavement. Another powerful source of encouragement is to remember that life on earth is a passing journey. Our life on earth is wonderful but as citizens of heaven our real home is heaven in the presence of the LORD Jesus and Father God. Then in Rapture the dead arise together meet Jesus into the clouds into heaven. End time events rapidly approaching on earth point to a world-changing as Jesus said in Matthew 24 warned. And so with God all things are possible including the strength to live and go through bereavement grief with God holds your hands and footsteps of Jesus in the sand carries you through the difficult days. Each day is different so embrace love of God to endure to the end as a faithful steward of God in Jesus Name with thanks and Glory to God.
TRAUMATIC DEATH GRIEF
Traumatic tragic death bereavement is completely unexpected loss, worst form of grief people go through. Suddenly changes lifeplan dramatically, cancels activities so a shock to the system. One minute conversation is taking place about life but the next minute subject changes to unexpected death. It is most painful if the person appeared healthy, full of life with a great future suddenly cut short by death. The numbing shock of loss is hard to sink in and feels that loved one is about to walk through the door home. Seems like a dream, surreal but wide awake with sleepless nights so deep within the heart an overwhelming pain lingers on. Everyday passes by without a text, contact or phone call, facebook so realises it must be really true. Shock is a normal reaction and unbelief deceased person is really no longer with us here on earth. Sudden change of plans means numbness while taking in loss starting to sink in. Though we understand death as part of life it does not make it easier to accept. Death is painful and difficult to experience it hurts beyond belief and complicated. At times pain seems insurmountable but support and a therapy can help to understand, accept and ease the pain. After death of a loved one life is never the same but talking therapy helps to provide skills and tools to assist with creation of the new normal to integrate life into new existence. Annette was on the way to mortuary when Julia phoned to support death of daughter Amber, aged four, who drowned in a swimming pool, and going to see her body. Many people would not call at that moment they feel encroaching on a raw traumatic grief. Julia, friend of couple, a psychotherapist specialises in dealing with loss knows when people in throes of overwhelming grief, sharing the pain is the only thing that makes even the tiniest difference. Grief professionals don’t have endowed special powers its empathy compassion. Phil answered the phone, so Julia liked to say something to make it better but knew nothing could do that, so she said the only thing she could. “I am terribly sorry to hear your daughter, Amber, has died; I’m sorry the devastating pain that has happened to you. How can I help?” 25 years as grief psychotherapist taught Julia great deal about human condition that focus on grief means focus on life, loss exposes things that matters about a person, their strengths and weaknesses. When someone dies, it reveals faultlines in bereaved family, even deepest, most hidden ones. If you know about loss you know about family, about love, survival, resilience and strength. Knowing about loss means you know about life. But there is a paradox at the centre of loss, and it is this. Grief is the most intense pain there is, and we will do anything to avoid pain. So we run away from it; we run away from our own grief, and we run away from others’ grief. Yet, says running away from grief means we will not recover but embracing helps move through the agony and deal with pain.
Allowing ourselves to be while it washes over us, is only way to survive because we have to feel the worst in order to let it change us. Then we can start to find out who we are going to be in wake of it. This is the message at the heart of Julia’s new book, Grief Works. “If you ignore grief and push it down, you can live and you can function, but you live a very narrow emotional life because using emotional energy to cope,” she said. “Everything in psyche will be squashed down, and that means small things can trigger a much bigger kind of effect. The fact is to do the work of grieving. You have to let it run its course. Pain is agent of change; pain allows you to change, it enables you to reach a new reality.” Her book traces journeys of many of the bereaved people she has walked alongside; she describes how she wept and mourned with them. “let clients know what they say has an impact: Tell them when feels shocked, sad or upset,” she says. So talk about relationship with bereaved and a relationship with friends in service of a deceased. Say what you feel if thinking about them if it’s useful to share. One of the many moving stories in her book is that of Bill and Sally, whose 13-year-old son Matthew died of rare virus. Sally tells Julia losing her son has made her feel dead, no more expectations of life; so does not want to go on living. “I said quite plainly, although she was giving up on herself, I refused to; I would fight for her, held her and whispered hidden strength within her said, to live.’ Julia, in 50s, mother of 4 grown up children, grandmother of four, vivacious and fun: has time to feel recharged with life. You know it helps feeling of clients who like Sally regain joy to be alive again. Helps Julia’s interest in answering questions on experiences of traumatic loss to help open hearts for the healing process.
There are two sorts of loss, says Julia: expected loss and traumatic loss. And perhaps, for one in her profession, her own losses have all been expected ones. Her father died at 87, sad, grieved but it not traumatic loss. Bereavement work involves charity Birthright, Well-being of Wo/men made her aware of the pain of losing a baby although wonders was unconsciously influenced by parent’s loss of three parents and three siblings by the time they were 25. “Everything seemed OK, but thinks back aware of some unresolved grief. Almost only personal experience of a shocking, out-of-nowhere, loss figures such death brought loss closer and changed how to deal with grief. Julia was a close friend of Princess Diana, a connection echoed when asked by William and Kate to be a godmother to Prince George in 2013. That is, she says, a very joyful role lots of fun, and the chance to enjoy the little boy as he grows up but she doesn’t want to say much about it or Diana, save she agrees her death made difference to the nation’s approach to grief. So, too, she says, did other major shifts of history, especially the first and second world wars. “Our parents, parents of people of my generation, were the generation that couldn’t afford to grieve. Were parented by survivors of first world war simply to survive but modern luxury means able to deal with it differently.”
Despite public outpouring of grief after Diana’s death, doesn’t think most people are sufficiently aware impact traumatic bereavement has, the ripples it leaves or how long they persist. As someone who experienced a traumatic loss at the age of nine, when three-year-old sister was killed in road accident agrees with her analysis. It is 44 years since death, and shockwaves still reverberate in the family: everyone is different because of it, next generation touched by it in ways too subtle for them to fully understand.
Traumatic losses shape future of family as subject of great interest to Julia; so, is the way men and women deal with loss differently. Men, tend to want to move on to make plans, to focus on new horizons. Women on other hand want to spend more time remembering the person who died so want to immerse themselves in the pain. But the fact is, each can learn from others. “You have to do both things: you must have time to grieve and mourn and other time when you have break from the grief. You can create circumstances where you grieve, and circumstances where you move on; so men and women help one another. He can help her go for a walk to a park or gallery can help him talk about how he feels to express some of his loss.” The problems set in when individuals fails to understand the pattern of grief in the other; they think of them as selfish or they don’t care enough, but it isn’t about that due to the different ways of coping. Grieving is an intensely individual and incredibly lonely experience, which can make it difficult time in family, group of people going through something sparked by same event, but is in each case very different. The way to cope, is be open in communicating feelings to others in your family. Families that fare best share feelings openly when a death disrupts complex finely tuned balance in a family. So needs a reorganised and open approach to help with process.”
At the beginning, and this is especially true of a traumatic loss, the grief is all-consuming: but over time, says Julia, you find you are starting to live again. The mistake some make, though, is believing they can go back to being the way they were. “Some people say, ‘This isn’t going to change us.’ But that’s not how it is: and it’s when you recognise that bereavement is a life-shattering experience, and that you have to grieve and rebuild, that you can move on positively into a new phase of life. You don’t forget the person who’s gone; you can never do that, and you should not worry that you’re going to. But you keep them in memory so their loss helps you become a new person you become; and maybe in the end is greatest tribute to make to anyone who passed to Glory. Grief affects us all so hope in God and read HIS beautiful WORDS in Bible to guide prayers. Powerful scriptures will help you face feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is very normal to feel it is not really true the person is still alive soo will be at home, then in shock, angry they died, hoping the loved one comes back alive, realising they passed on into Glory and finally accepting loss and accepting new unexpected sudden sad changes of life. Crying, weeping, feeling low not eating properly, sad, confused, depressed are all part of feelings of pain, hurt of loss, bereavement, grieving and mourning. It is normal to feel helpless, lost without a loved one with deep sorrow and pain. One helpful action is remember a loved does not want your life destroyed and ruined because of them. They see you in heaven so like you to live and continue life despite feeling changes happening. There’s no shame in being sad. The life we’ve been given was never promised free of pain or sorrow so during times we hurt most run to God and HIS Word for peace and comfort. Psalm 117:7 says God cares about death of the righteous.
Help from family and friends
Listening. Be a friend who is prepared to give their time, to listen and to acknowledge the extent of your friend’s loss. Listening is the key. Bear witness, and allow your friend to be upset, to be confused and contradictory, or to say nothing at all. Every time they tell their story once more, or are allowed to say how important the person who has died was, burden of carrying pain on their own is incrementally a little lighter.
It’s not about you. Follow a mourner’s lead: they may not want to talk about their grief right now, or with you. It is good to say something to acknowledge their loss, but then let them have the control they need, they had none over death so choose to talk or not. If they ask you to come and be with them, and want to talk openly to you, go. If they truly don’t want a visit or don’t want to deal with it at that time, don’t force it on them. Don’t confuse need to speak, call, contact, with friend’s need of privacy to come to terms with grief. Some kings or or important dignitaries, leaders buried in secret. Deuteronomy 34:5-7, Numbers 27:13-28 says God buried Moses Himself without gravestone marker, headstone, monument remain unmarked, Israelites not have idol worship. So Moses’ eternal soul rests in peace buried in the Moab valley opposite Beth Peor near Mount Nebo from plains of Moab near top of Pisgah. None knows where Moses’ body buried, concealed in grave stops people flocking to idolise him. In Jude 1:9 angel fought with Michael over Moses’ body, only unique burial by God. Moses’ body soul, alive in Transfiguration met Jesus with Elijah alive from heaven on Mount in Matthew 27:1-10.
Mourning state of total shock and disorientation exempts you from performing actions requiring attention to detail. Time is given off work at least minimum of 2 weeks plus due holidays to grieve and mourn. Time is needed to sort out paper work, fill in forms and to notify various agencies of the departed. In mourning people wear symbolic or an appropriate colour suitable for the age of the departed. To be able to attend unhindered to funeral arrangements it is important to dress appropriately. The family decided obligated choice agreed on to help support family. Immediately following burial mourning the mourner does not listen to music, go to concerts, does not attend joyous events or parties unless absolutely necessary. If a date set prior to death strictly forbidden or to be postponed cancelled. Week-long period of grief mourning observance referred to by time to grief. During this period all mourners traditionally gather the home and receive visitors. Mourners refrain for a week from showering or bathing, wearing leather shoes, jewelry, shaving. Some communities cover mirrors in the mourner’s home so they not concerned about their personal appearance. It is customary for mourners to sit on low stools or even the floor, symbolic of the emotional reality of being “brought low” by grief. Meal of consolation first meal eaten on return from funeral consists of hard-boiled egg or other round oblong foods. Biblical hospitality means during this seven-day period, family, friends or colleagues visit and call on mourners to comfort them. Is considered great time of kindness, compassion to pay respects to visit the mourners. No greetings are exchanged, visitors wait for mourners to initiate conversation. Mourner is not obliged to engage in a conversation and may completely ignore his/her visitors. Visitors take on hosting role, attending to guests, bringing food and serving it to the mourning family. Mourning family avoids cooking or cleaning during this period. Those responsibilities become that of visitors to ease burden and pain.
Acknowledgment. Death isn’t catching, but those who are bereaved might think so, judging by the fear they see in other people’s eyes. People are frightened about whether to come forward, about what to say, about saying the wrong thing so, in the end say nothing. All of that comes from a belief whatever you say should make things better but have enough wisdom to make the pain more bearable but you can’t or need to. Be kind enough to acknowledge them and their suffering is difficult enough. Offer to be there if they need you, suggesting that they should be the one to ring you, is probably asking too much of your friend at this time. It is better if you take the initiative and make contact, and then follow their lead: they may want to see or speak with you or not. Often, people don’t make contact because they feel they don’t know the bereaved person well enough. If you are erring one way or the other, better to err on the side of making contact.
Practical help. Doing practical things is often what really makes a difference. Don’t say, “Let me know if I can help”; actually do something helpful. At the beginning of a bereavement, there may be a lot of people around, so bringing food may be the best thing you can do. Taking food around for longer than the initial crisis is particularly appreciated.
Honesty. Be honest because honesty is comforting and easy to deal with. So direct honesty helps complex messiness of grief so an enormous relief to people. Be honest about what you actually can do rather than covering up because you feel guilty about what you can’t. And be specific to say, “I’m going to come round for half an hour” or come on Tuesday” don’t say, “I’ll come when you want, tell me, and I’ll be there”, and then find you can’t deliver on that offer.
Be sensitive. Being honest is important, as being sensitive. Promiscuous honesty is not a good idea. Be aware of showing too openly your life is trotting along as happily as can be, feels like you rubbing their nose in your happiness.
Be in it for the long haul. Remember to make contact and be supportive after everyone else has gone. Usually three months following the death, people get back to their lives, as they should. But it is by no means over for the person who is bereaved. Sending a text or popping is hugely supportive.
Writing. Letters, cards, texts or emails: it doesn’t matter what you write – all are extremely helpful. It is better, however, to say that you don’t want a reply, because some people simply can’t respond. And it is never too late to send them. It is a welcome surprise to receive a card much later, because it is when everyone else has forgotten and your friend is still grieving. When you do write, try to make it personal and avoid tired cliches such as, “She’s had a good innings” or “Better to have loved and lost because they are trite in some way diminish personal importance of this very loved person who died. You don’t need to go into long explanations of why the person died or theological explorations about death; be loving and personal, warm and acknowledging.
RAPTURE ETERNAL RESURRECTION
Believers have assurance of eternal life in Christ so mourn with hope for their resurrection. In the Bible Jesus raised Lazarus from death, widow of Nain son, Peter raised Dorcas, Paul raised young man who fell dead sitting on a window ledge. The dead arose alive when Jesus was crucified and went into town seen by many people. We pray and ask GOD to raise loved one too in Jesus Name so thank God Jesus raised Lazarus. Bible says Christianity lasts beyond earthly life into heaven so mourn and grieve with hope in Jesus Christ. Christians call death falling asleep to pass into glory to be with God. Although grief pain hurts deeply and so feels tragic loss yet know future reunion family circle will be complete in heaven in the Presence of God Almighty. In the Rapture, the dead in Christ will first be resurrected to join those alive together to meet Christ in the clouds into heaven. The signs of the end times are predicted by Jesus in Matthew 24. So death is part of transition into eternal life although it is better to have loved ones on earth as members of a family, God calls them to higher service in heaven. Rest in peace safely beloved in the loving arms of God so no more sorrow, grief, pain, tears we love you and miss you terribly but God LOVES you more. We shall see you one day in Jesus Name for you are delivered because your name is found written in the BOOK OF LIFE according to Daniel 12:1-2. All asleep in Christ in dust of the earth wake to everlasting life in heaven in Glory in GOD’S PRESENCE. The Holy Spirit of God is our Comforter in times like these so we draw strength from the word of God to carry on in life in Jesus Name. GOD Our Father Comforts us too through His Love and Words of comfort from loved ones, friends and family.
Extract from Grief Works by Julia Samuel
GAME ADDICTION DISORDER
Gaming addiction classified as disorder by WHO – World Health Organisation. An article byaccording to Oxford University study states that boys are more likely to spend time gaming than girls. Gaming addiction is to be listed as mental health condition for the first time by the World Health Organisation. 11th International Classification of Diseases (ICD) includes the condition “gaming disorder.” The draft document describes it as a pattern of a persistent and a recurrent gaming behaviour so severe it takes precedence over other life interests. Some countries already identified it as a major public health issue. Many, including UK, have private addiction clinics to “treat” the condition. The last version of the ICD was completed in 1992, with the new guide due to be published in 2018. The guide contains codes for diseases, signs and symptoms and is used by doctors and researchers to track and diagnose disease. It suggests abnormal gaming behaviour should be in evidence over a period of 12 months for diagnosis to be assigned but added that period might be shortened “if symptoms are severe.”
Gaming Addiction Symptoms include:
- impaired control over gaming (frequency, intensity, duration)
- increased priority given to gaming
- continuing escalation of gaming despite negative consequences
Dr Richard Graham, lead technology addiction specialist at the Nightingale Hospital in London, welcomed decision to recognise condition. It is significant because it creates the opportunity for more specialised services. It puts it on the map as something to take seriously.” But he added he would have sympathy for those who do not think the condition should be medicated. “It could lead to confused parents whose children are enthusiastic gamers.” He said he sees about 50 new cases of digital addiction each year and his criteria is based on whether the activity is affecting basic things such as sleep, eating, socializing and education. He said one question he asks himself is: “Is the addiction taking up neurological real-estate, dominating thinking and preoccupation?” So many psychiatrists refer to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the fifth edition of which was published in 2013. The Internet gaming disorder listed as ‘condition for further study’ meaning not officially recognised as controversial matters are assigned. It will have serious repercussions if the gaming industry accepts responsibility. If families sue them the businesses will collapse as multibillion industries.
Gaming is introduced to young children before forming prefrontal cortex brain so damage is done through radiation too. Many are absent-minded, aloof, not in the here and now able to experience the common sense needed for survival. Extreme cases often display a psychotic pattern of behaviour. Hallucinations if under stress, pressure or struggling to keep down job due to gaming addiction. Lots of countries are grappling with the issue and the South Korean government has introduced a law banning access for children under 16 from online games between midnight and 06:00. In Japan, players are alerted if they spend more than a certain amount of time online each month playing games. In China, internet giant Tencent has limited hours that children can play its most popular games. A recent study from University of Oxford suggested, although children spend a lot of time on the screens, they generally manage to intertwine digital pastimes with daily life. The research is looking at children aged eight to 18 and found boys spent longer playing video games than girls. Researcher Killian Mullan said: “People think that children are addicted to technology and in front of these screens 24/7, to the exclusion of other activities and we now know that is not the case.” “Our findings show technology is being used with and in some cases perhaps to support other activities, like homework for instance, not pushing them out,” he added. “Like adults do, children spread digital tech use throughout the day, while doing other things.” This issue is ongoing yet gamers become professional gamers, game designers or Internet experts.
However, majority are struggling with school and college work, frustrated, angry, manifest withdrawal symptoms from multiple addictions of high sugar, E chemicals in food, poor decision-making abilities, with stunted growth spurt development stuck in the childish mindset from the age of onset of gaming. Unable to enjoy free mind to grow as previous generations exploring outdoors daily for long hours. Getting a fresh air, physical exercises playing and interacting with friends. Many now live isolated detached lives in their bubble world cocooned in a virtual reality. The years of repeated gaming addiction now affect even basic communication and the social conversations. With majority of school, college, work and the world turning into virtual online lifestyle it is even damaging their health too. Like an issue that is not solved quickly, it leads to aggressive behaviour, sometimes tensions in families. Expecting for such future generations to grow up and take on the responsibilities and duty of care is getting worse. Som parents continue to ‘ raise’ adult children traumatized by gaming addiction and dark web porn. It is an expensive industry where games cost so much causing bad habits as big spenders on games wasting money that could be saved to buy or own home. So become dependent on parents as the bank of mum and dad. Domino effect is serious and even more dangerous when parents lack knowledge and awareness of gaming addiction. Treatment is hard because they are prone to using online facility for study, work shopping, social interaction often tired and lethargic.
Many need other hobbies especially outdoors like football hockey, biking, swimming or a practical outdoor volunteer centre to help others to learn practical life skills. In any case this generation faces challenges making choices and decisions even harder and harder everyday by gaming addiction. Often starts as fun time to relax, then it escalates into complex issues. Some children used parent’s bank accounts to run thousands of dollars worth of debts due to gaming addiction. Schools must teach dangers of gaming addiction as part of general knowledge awareness. When children are young parents must not buy expensive games because all the friends have one and they feel left out. Looking back some parents would have been better off investing a gaming money into extra tuition funds to help a child do better academically. Or pay for music, piano lessons to calm children and learn vital skills. Games change so rapidly that it becomes a life time habit not a phase to grow out of. This is a serious matter to be dealt with globally because it affects children in formative years and influences their thought and worldview. In addition some contents are completely unsuitable for children yet parents unaware of such dangers. Encourage reading skills from with real books they can hold first before ebooks or online ones. Computers are good and useful but can cause harm to children if not used properly under supervision. If parents do not know how to computers take basic lessons to learn safety, adult and child security online and upgrade often to learn new skills to help your children before it becomes too late so turn into gaming addiction disorder.