GOD’S SOCIALMEDIA SPOUSE

God’s social media connection marriage partners were just friends but has more plans confirmed through Pastor Alph Lukau. It is reassuring God watches all things on social media and approves of good things happening but hates all evil things taking place there. God gave this spouse to each other to have and to hold to walk together. Amos 3:3 says, do two walk together unless they agree so both friends agreed before congregation to love each other. This is miracle working God we serve in Jesus Name.

DO TOYS DISTRACT FOCUS?

Too many toys are bad for children as a study suggests that the children become distracted when they are surrounded by too many toys. This is what the parents have suspected all along. Children who have too many toys are more also easily distracted so do not enjoy that quality playtime with other children as the new study suggest. Researchers at University of Toledo in Ohio, US, recruited some 36 toddlers and invited them to play in a room for half an hour, with either four toys, or 16 toys. They found youngsters were far more creative when they had fewer toys to play with. And they played with each for twice as long, thinking up more uses for each toy and lengthening and expanding their games. The authors conclude parents, schools and nurseries should pack away most of their toys and just rotate a small number regularly, to help encourage the children to become more creative to improve the attention spans of the children. This study sought to determine if the number of toys in a toddlers’ environments influences their quality of play,” said the lead author Dr Carly Dauch in journalInfant Behaviour and Development.“The higher number of incidences of play in 16 toy condition did interfere with duration and depth of play. Other toys present created their external distractions. “During toddler years, children develop but not master, higher levels of control over attention. And their attention plus their play was disrupted by factors in an environment present with distractions. The results of the present study suggest an abundance of toys create distractions. But provided with fewer toys in their environments the toddlers engaged in longer periods of play with single toy allowing better focus to explore, play more creatively.”Getting rid of toys encourages children to read more or paint, says researchers. Britons spend more than £3 billion each year on toys and surveys shows that a typical child owns 238 toys in total but parents think they play with just the 12 ‘favourites’ on a daily basis making up just five per cent of their toys. It is not the first time research suggested that too many toys distract children. In the 1990s the German researchers, Elke Schubert and Rainer Strick conducted experiment where the toys were taken away from Munich nursery for three months. After a few weeks, the children re-adjusted and their play became far more creative and social. The published research of their findings in their book, called, The Toy-free Nursery. In another book, ClutterFree with Kids the author, Joshua Becker also argued fewer toys are better for children because a sparse playroom encourages creativity to help children develop attention span and to teach youngsters about taking care of their possessions. “A child will rarely learn to fully appreciate the toy in front of them when there countless options are still remaining on the shelf behind them,” he said. “When children have too many toys, they will naturally take less care of them. And they will not learn to value them if there is their replacement ready at hand. “Fewer toys causes these children to become more resourceful by solving problems with only materials at hand. And resourcefulness is a gift with unlimited practical uses in their futures.

The research is published in the journal Infant Behaviour and Development. The conflict of interest of the toy companies advertising children playing with many latest toys makes parents feel obliged to buy them for the children not to feel left out. Children display their toys online on social media to compare with each other including the addictive games that stop children learning, doing homework assignments later in college, university or focus at work. Lack attention span or focus from childhood affects the adults today unable concentrate for few hours to complete tasks at hand. Christmas is around and parents must not let a child manipulate them emotionally to buy a toy without teaching them first value of essential basic reading at level. Children can get a few educational toy to reward them to do exceptionally well in a field of academic achievement at school. The development steared towards a specific direction of any future career requires relevant toys to influence natural gifts, talents and abilities. Otherwise parents unintentionally make children victim of success by their ability to buy too many toys they can afford. Just because it is possible to buy things seen on the TV in adverts does not mean it enhances their specific development. Parent knows the children best, whether they are trained experts or not must help child learn not to depend only on school to learn. Early learning through practical play is now rapidly eroded by virtual reality keep children cocooned online. So important to carefully reflect before Christmas on piling up toys to “prove” your “love” of your children to the world overloading them with too many toys. Experience shows most children are just so happy playing with the box, not expensive toys boosting their parents ego. Millennium children are suffering from the lack of a social understanding or interaction due to isolated attachment to toys valued as more precious than engaging with each other. Time consumed worrying about their toy possessions makes them miss out on appreciating fellow human being as adults due to learned behaviour. The competition among children, teenagers over toys leads further to threats of the perceived anger of friends loving them only for their material possessions. The toys must not take over to babysit their children without adult supervision and input. One of the best ways to bond with children is play with them sometimes to help them value the adults in their lives.

Sarah Knapton, editor

5 DECEMBER 2017 • 5:48PM

Related Topics

• Environment
• Lead
• Children
• Child health
• Children’s health

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THE BEST & WORST GIFTS

Jesus received gold, frankincense myrrh gifts from three wise Maggi kings from the East setting pace to exchange gifts at Christmas. The local shepherds brought sheep so family and friends give gifts to contribute to cost of raising baby Jesus. The giving of gifts is popular in so many cultures including gifts of clothes, shoes, fabrics, foodstuffs, some donate time and money to help out. Others visit the family to bring unique gifts from exotic places to bring awareness of the world. Gifts have become a part and parcel of Christmas celebration season so many scramble to finish the holiday shopping before big day. While some put thought into finding the perfect gift others leave it last-minute by grabbing whatever is available. This means those looking for gifts often try to find out the best items suitable to each person to surprise them. Others do last-minute holiday gifts, than find the inspiration from gift guides or the mall displays. The 4 types of gifts according to science best given this year and three you should not give.

Don’t how off flashy gifts

Most admit giving gift based on person’s interest from clearance sales research suggests it’s the item so not the price tag that matters. Other gift-givers say their choices are better if more expensive but research published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology did not back that. No clear correlation between present price and recipient satisfaction.

Don’t Give Gift for others

Giving a charitable donation for friends or family member’s seem like a perfect gift: Spending goes to a worthy cause so recipient gets gift they feel good about. A 2015 study published in the journal: Organizational Behavior and Human Decisions, disputes that theory. Close friends, family members appreciate a responsible gift, researchers find casual acquaintances feel slighted because the selection focuses “on symbolic meaning of gift,” rather than on the recipient.

Don’t: Dress Up Bad Gift.

If a gift is unsuitable it may be tempting to overcompensate with big bows, fancy wrapping paper but data from Yale’s Association for Consumer Research says strategy may backfire. When people get a gift liked, researchers find attractive trappings slightly enhanced experience. If gift is unsatisfactory science research documentary says purposes wrapping worsened recipients’ perception of the gift because expectations didn’t match reality. It is even worse when the giver can afford the most luxurious presents for themselves and scraps for others.

Give Gifts People want

A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found gift-givers overestimate the impact of a surprise gift. The study showed people appreciate the gifts specifically asked for than unsolicited presents. So make your life easy to stick to their list.

Do: Pick a gift card.

Gift cards surveys have found they’re actually popular among gift recipients. A survey conducted by the National Retail Federation, they were the most requested gift. So some keep it simple as other research has found people are perfectly happy to receive cash as a gift.

Give Appropriate Gifts

A series of studies published in Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found recipients prefer gifts that reflect own interests and hobbies. Researchers found “givers and receivers report greater feelings of closeness to a giver when gift reflects giver’s and receiver’s mutual deep interests. Among favourite gifts are Sharing favorite book garment or keepsake with a loved one, makes strongest impact in the long run.

Give gifts that last longer

Quality long-lasting gift items that meet needs like kitchen gadgets or wardrobe, staples, gifts shows in a study published in Current Directions in Psychological Science people prefer present to use for months and years than gifts that makes statement right away but useless.

What To Do With Unwanted Gifts

If possible, smile kindly and politely and remember it is the thought that counts. Wait a few days and quietly pass gift on to others. Do not to look at annoying gift in misery. Negotiate with store if there is a receipt and the packaging intact for refund or exchange with another item. Buy a similar or exact item if too small or too big then give gift away to charity. Do not offend giver by letting them know it is another item you paid for yourself. If an understanding person first thank them, appreciate gift before complaining about shape or size if gift is unsuitable or useless to you.

If not a meaningful gift to you let giver explain intention and reason for a gift. At times, you may not immediately see a value of a gift until years later when you understand life better. So let giver explain choice, size, colour, preference, if already owns too many, swap item together in a shop. It is not necessary to blame or take offence to put anger on a giver for your disappointment. It is also important to realise nobody is perfect. People may not fully know you well enough to read your mind so tell them or write down gift to understand you better. If a person cannot afford a gift you like do not use it to blackmail them. Realise it is not good to live above your means in debt for the rest of your life for moments happiness. A person’s life, real true identity, innerself strength comes from within as Jesus said. Do not measure your standard of living by gifts you receive or give to others. You are the best Christmas present from God so be happy and reason for giving gifts is to bring happiness, joy and love, help to others not for selfish reasons. So remember Jesus said it is better to give than to receive. The most sentimental gifts are unique, one of a kind, made by you so do not necessarily cost money. Think of gifts to help ease the burdens of others like helping them shop, clean, do laundry if unwell or unable to do so due to health, disability. Regift the gifts to other people through online freebies in Gumtree by sharing or exchanging them. If giving food gift ensure dietary needs, allergies taken into consideration to understand religious restrictions not to cause offence by good intentions. And vegans or some vegetarians do not eat food containing animal products leather or pork so be aware when giving gifts. Above all do remember that Christmas is about love of God to celebrate Jesus Christ not just swapping material gifts. Love and appreciate your gift in Christ.

MERRY CHRISTMAS THANKS

With Compliments of Christmas Season, May I take this opportunity on behalf of my family and myself to wish you and your family, Merry Christmas and Happy Prosperous New Year. May your Christmas be filled with joy, love, peace and precious special memories. And as the New Year unfolds, may it bring you everything you ever hope for and God’s Blessings everyday in Jesus Name.

God bless you always,

With Love From God’sHotSpot

STOP CHRISTMAS ARGUMENT

This Christmas season be jolly to enjoy the moment. After months of hard work and sacrifices it is good to let your hair down and celebrate the festive parties. It is good to reward yourself and others in your family with the frantic presents bought and protracted during shopping. With possiblity of overeating, many are over-tired so argumentative by the time the big day itself is reached. Therefore it is easy to overeact and be hyper strung over insignificant issues. So thrown into the mix is a handful of the family feuds, with a dash of strong alcohol sprinkled with overtired children are ingredients for an explosive recipe row. A recent survey found the average British family has at least 5 arguments on a Christmas Day. Keep focus on peace, goodwill to prevent fights breaking out by following the top, tension-diffusing tips:

1. Make a seating plan

Arrange and label place if the potential exists for toxic reaction of people based on past history. If you know Uncle Bob is going to press buttons over dinner, moaning about the fox-hunting ban and poor choice of plonk, position yourself opposite end of the table. A seating plan can prevent unnecessary friction during the Christmas meal. It is just a case of knowing who to keep away from who to prevent and stop arguments in advance.

2. Lay off the eggnog

Do not say things to regret after one too many mulled wines. Remember alcohol causes chemical changes in the brain if even it initially makes you feel relaxed, but reduce your ability to think straight. Professor McMurran, a psychologist at the University of Nottingham, explains if provoked under influence of alcohol, people tend to disregard “consequences of rising to the bait. This leads to violent reactions from people who would shrug things off. If tensions are rising, swap a cocktail for a mocktail and encourage others to do the same.

3. Share the cooking

Preparing the festive feast is a huge job. Leave it up to one person and it’s likely that tempers will become frayed and sprouts will be thrown. One way of getting around this is to have different people taking responsibility for each course. Offer to take care of the cheese board, dessert or nibbles and take the strain off the head chef.

4. Budget for presents

With so many outgoings, money can be tight at Christmas so financial pressure can be big source of stress and tension. To ease the pressure on everyone, agree on set budget for presents. Encourage homemade gift-giving options including jams and chutneys, a day of babysitting, orguided pub walk around a local area.

5. Be grateful for gifts

Be diplomatic when you’re unwrapping your presents. Be it a fish steamer, or a shoehorn or Star Wars bath mat, smile and say “its just what I always wanted.” It sets a brilliant example to all the kids. And remember, you can always re-gift it next year to other people so investment.

6. Embrace daytime Nap

If feeling more grumpy and irritable or tired and exhausted that is also because sleep-deprived so amygdala bit of brain control of emotions becomes overactive causing prefrontal cortex brain, the bit in charge of logic and decision-making switched off. The result is more erratic, emotional and likely to lose it over the Christmas pudding. So stay in control, try to get a good night’s sleep before the big day and if you feel yourself nodding off in the Queen’s speech, don’t fight it. You can listen to again later.

7. Channel the innerself

Do something helpful so offer to do the driving, walk the dog, take the kids for a run around, or distribute canapés. By mucking in and lending a hand you’re setting the bar for everyone else, and lightening the load for the people you care about. There is always something required to be done at all times. Doing so helps to distract you and you feel fulfilled by helping others.

8. Learn to let things go

Pick your battles carefully so you do not want to win arguments as and have no friends in life. Do you really care how parsnips are prepared? Or what’s in the box? Grit your teeth and turn blind eye for sake of the peace. Do not be control freak rubbing people wrong way. Avoid controversial topics of football, politics, or who eats last After Eight chocolate.

9. Take a breather

If things are getting a bit much, step in to the garden for some fresh air. Oxygen and sunlight are thought to increase the levels of serotonin released in the body, and more serotonin means lighter mood and more relaxed you. If getting outside isn’t an option, take a cup of tea and the paper to cupboard under stairs, or have a ten-minute phone rant with a friend.

10. Avoid Pictionary gaff

It’s fun playing Monopoly or a game of charades, but there a fine line between competitive spirit, outright aggression. Don’t embark on a board game unless you’re convinced everyone will be able to get to end without crying, fighting or both. Compromise so agree to disagree.

11. Christmas times hard

Christmas time unrealistic expectations or excessive self-reflection create issues in our lives coming starkly into focus. It can be really hard time of year for those who lost the loved ones or experiencing financial hardship, illness, depression. A study by Samaritans revealed, amid pressures to be “merry”, nearly half of men admit they actually feel depressed or sad at Christmas. Be aware of needs of people around you, be patient, and if you feel stressed or anxious yourself too reach out to someone.

Reblogged with courtesy:

Christmas from Radio 4

GET THROUGH CHRISTMAS

Emma Ferguson tried to take her own life at the age of 15 after her mother died. Feeling helpless and hopeless she did not see any light at the end of the tunnel at that time. Today, this teenager who tried to take her own life reaches out to young people struggling to cope this Christmas. As the charity Childline reveals, number of calls received over festive period soars, as Emma Ferguson told children: “You can and you will get through loss” The 19-year-old tweets to encourage others about surviving her teenage suicide attempt which went viral so wants to help those who cannot cope alone. Four years on from almost ending her life, Emma says she now has a happy “smashing life.”The restaurant worker from Dunblane shared struggles with depression in effort to show how far she has come. She wants to inspire others to share story in the lead-up to Christmas the most emotional time of year. She tweeted a picture of herself on hospital trolley after failed suicide bid.

Post read: “Four years ago I attempted to take my own life and was diagnosed with depression after lost mum. So this year moved to Glasgow with the love of her life absolutely leading smashing life. Remember you CAN do it and WILL get through loss no matter how painful life feels today. Help #breakthestigma and silence of suicide. Emma’s tweet went viral with more than 58,000 likes and almost 8,500 retweets. She is delighted she is able to help others and said: “For someone with depression, this is the worst month of the year. She did it for herself but now is blown away by the number of people related to experience. People replied saying they really need this kind of support system to know they too can survive the most traumatic lowest moments they are going through in life. Others experience similar or even the worse things yet endure to tell others about it too like Emma. So Emma said it feels good to make a difference. And wished when she was at her lowest she had survivor’s tweets to give her hope to know there is life after loss. And all she wanted then was to have someone understand her and what she was going through. Emma was 6 years old when her mother Fiona was diagnosed with a breast cancer. By the age of nine, Emma was her mother’s carer getting up at six in the morning to look after her before school. Emma was at high school when she was summoned home to a moment she feared most, her mum passed away in her arms shortly afterwards. Emma sank lower and lower into depression and pain of self harming. When she was 15 she waited till her father and brother left home, she locked door and made an attempt at killing herself. It is a miracle God sent concerned neighbour arrived in time to stop Emma as she passed out.

Loved One(s) Not There

After time in mental health unit, Emma returned to live with her grandmother, who kept her busy and gave her hope. ‘She was the person who supported me,’ she said. She told she will get through it all and be happy again. Four years later at the age of 19, has new job in Glasgow, a supportive boyfriend and wants to tell other young people there is light at the end of the tunnel. Christmas can be the worst time especially if one person who is meant to be there at the table is not there. Emma wants to help the young people by saying picture the loved being there in spirit with you. Know a special person will say its Christmas you should be happy.’ Her mum or loved one would want you to be happy so be happy that day and think that way. “It takes time. I want anyone feeling low to know that it takes time but life gets better.” Emma and boyfriend Adam Lindores went on a recent holiday to Iceland. Children’s charity Childline revealed the rising call numbers over Christmas festive period. Volunteers at bases in Glasgow and in Aberdeen had 320 calls across 4 festive holidays of Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Hogmanay and New Year’s Day in 2016/17, up from 288 the year before. Across the UK, there were nearly 2,500 counselling sessions by Childline over the same period, with young people seeking help for issues including abuse, anxiety and suicide. It is necessary to know some medications cause suicidal thoughts so confide in your GP, friends about such thoughts. Get advise get help and postpone suicide to get support. No matter how bad things are or traumatic experiences it too shall pass though may not seem so at the moment. Childline president Dame Esther Rantzen said too many children find Christmas, darkest and most difficult time of year.” She said: “They contact Childline to tell us they are spending holidays surrounded by violence and anger, suffering from abuse and neglect, or wrestling with mental health problems.” Above all God loves you, so cares deeply inspite of any pain you may be going through. 

Archbishop of York Dr John Sentamu encourages people with the Christmas  message on Christmas Day at 10am. He said the great joys and privileges of life is encountering all kinds of different people from all walks of life. People are amazing, supportive with the desire to make difference to make things happen. To share joy of Christmas helping others constantly with goodness, compassion in a midst of adversity, hardship, pain. A shining example is family and friends bringing light and hope to others in the face of unimaginable grief and pain. As all can help others to overcome poverty and adversity by goodwill during loss. It is so beautiful Christmas story in action shine light to overcome darkness. For some people Christmas hardest season of year in despair, hopelessness, fear or frustrated but have hope in God. Reflect on joy and pain of life’s crushing loads, with painful slow steps. Picture Jesus embracing you and feel the moment of joy. Be encouraged the Christmas story absolutely recognises hardship of life but reassuring the birth of Jesus Christ in stable give light to overcome the dark world. The angel told the shepherds do not be afraid as bringing you good news of great joy for all people.” Jesus Christ brings hope, peace, joy and promise of new life, eternal life for all the people. For you. For me. For those loved ones lost. For those yet to be born. I think it’s the best news there is. So be encouraged and remember there is no situation so dark grief so great light of Christ can’t penetrate and overcome. Emmanuel God is among us. Prayer in the midst of whatever life is throwing at you right now good, bad, ugly you can experience a sense of deep joy during Christmas. So have a blessed and peaceful Christmas.

 

If feeling emotionally distressed and would like details of organisations which offer advice and support, click here or call for free any time to hear recorded information 0800 066 066.

RELAX & ENJOY CHRISTMAS

Relax and enjoy Christmas as a time of year to recount your blessings and to celebrate Jesus. Remember to thank God for sustaining your life and providing for you throughout the years. Enjoy this time of year which puts much pressure on people to spend more than ever. It is a good time to reflect and take stock of the year to assess what worked well and how to improve life next year. Above all it is good to keep in mind that Christmas is about love and the birth of Jesus Christ to save mankind. The whole world takes time to celebrate Jesus and give thanks to God for our families and our friends. Enjoy without fussing over the perfectionist details and obsessing over materialistic image, instead value the joyful festive season and be grateful and thankful for life itself. As the world gets worse it is necessary to appreciate favour of God not just material details. Christmas Day can be very difficult day for young care-leavers,” Sissay says.“For some going home for Christmas, painful and there’s arguments and dysfunction. There are young people with nowhere to go feeling sad on their own that day so feel a greater sense of loss. “It’s about making people smile to let them know they matter especially on that day.”

So many people are homeless, or live in squalor, poor, cannot afford privilege of safe environment, in dangerous region of war zones. Thank God for the Prince of Peace Jesus and do not hurt family or friends and colleagues over your selfish bizarre stubborn behaviours that ruins the festive season. The weather affects some so can trigger unusual reactions too. With abundant alcohol and substance use can get some situations out of hand. Yet the purpose of Chtistmas is to bring joy to the world, goodwill and peace on earth. Human relations are challenged as families out of touch assemble under one roof with many shenanigans. And emotions and feeling severely tested it is good to hold tongue for sake of comprise and peace. Ask for help or advise if not sure about presents or gifts to give each person as Jesus received gifts relating to his life, call and destiny. Gifts must be relevant and meaningful to the receiver not just what you insist on giving them whether they like or want it or not. Remember the golden rule of gifts to yourself and how it makes you feel. Be kind-hearted especially with the innocent children around do not to ruin the day for them. If physically present be a part of family or rather stay distant and send presents. instead of stressing all. Some might cite Christmas as a cause of breakdown of a family and their marriage. By fighting each year over Christmas among other issues toxic relationships can reach the tipping point at that time. Yet those who listen, change, adapt to enjoy Christmas but the stubborn ones continue ruining it for loved ones. Without an awareness over behaviour that the obsession with achieving that one, symbolic or perfect family causes misery not merriment. In the Bible, Jesus said in Luke 12:15, Take care and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in abundance of possessions.

One person described themselves as a tyrant in family festive season. Fretting over every last detail for weeks ahead in a bid to make it all extra special. And refusing to delegate anything even the decorating of the tree or laying the table since none else ever got things right in their opinion. Determined everything goes according to their plans only as the control freaks the atmosphere in family home is more fearful than festive. So it seems more like a dictator than a Father Christmas sharing love, joy, happiness and kindness. Looking back, realised its not worth fussing over nitty gritty silly unnecessary details so enjoy Christmas.