HAVE CONFIDENCE IN GOD

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Confidence in God is inbuilt in the brain to receive information, process, to take an action, store, apply or discard based on relevance. So scientists successfully have mapped parts of brain enhancing positive thinking to enable reinforcing good thoughts. When we think about ourselves positively, we are stimulating parts of our brains involved in reward, motivation, pleasure, says Dr Stacie Grossman Bloom. According to Dr Stacie Grossman Bloom a neuroscientist who has three daughters who also has a successful career at the NYU Langone Medical Center in New York. She has examined the role neuroscience plays in boosting confidence. This is particularly useful to many people who need exactly that, she writes as part of this year’s 100 Women Challenge. As primary carers or nurtures the mother’s confidence rubs on a child in the formative years of growing up. A happy mother is a happy child and happy family so is important to ensure the confidence of the mother is especially enhanced and supported. It takes a whole village to raise a child so the woman’s confidence is essential for the happiness of the spouse and vice versa. Confidence radiates in a person so is felt by those around that person so necessary to promote positive thinking. The world is so full of negative news it may seem impossible to think or to feel positive at any given moment. However confidence in God is the anchor of hope and joy in spite of adversity.images

confidence-in-the-lord2Confidence in God is unshaken by those circumstances of life having assurance God is still on the throne. Confidence is something many people want but do not know how to get. We need to embrace our abilities, our values and have a self-esteem to be successful. Without it, we are less likely to seek promotion, speak up in meetings and rise into leadership positions. This ultimately has enormous impact as various studies after studies shows having confident people at work in position of power correlates with the profitability collaborative environment and improved problem solving. So with some practice, we can use neuroscience to help to be more confident. The most influential or the inspirational names around the world every year are full of confidence. In 2017, challenging people to tackle the 4 biggest problems facing people today like glass ceiling, female illiteracy, harassment in public spaces and sexism in sport. With the help of all hopefully can be coming up with many real-life solutions and so we want you to get involved with your ideas. 8aa3408d68e32286c91a4aeea3380fd6 CONFIDENCE-IN-GOD+copy

Thinking positively we know enhances self-confidence like all other personality traits reside within our brains. Alhough a large part of architecture of the brain is predetermined yet experiences and the choices we make continue to shape us. Over the course of life we acquire new knowledge, abilities by modulating the intricate and malleable connections between the cells and circuits in brains. We can utilise neuroscience to silence our negative inner voices and boost our confidence. These strategies work by engaging “value areas” of the brain. When we think about ourselves more positively, we are able to stimulate the parts of our brains that are involved in reward, motivation, and pleasure. One output of this pattern of neurological activation is we literally feel good when confident, we hold our heads high.Dr. Bloom with her three daughtersDr. Bloom with her three daughters

A healthy positive feeling is contagious so promotes those around us to be more engaged with us, whether its colleagues, our friends, or troops. The reinforcing reactions we see and feel in response to our confidence feedbacks to our brains to encourage more activity. So the first step is to push back against obstacles we know stand in our way being mindful of situations and deciding to be confident. Making complex decision is a multi-step process that taps into our emotions and engages many other parts of the brain.

Train your brain

brainWhen we have made the decision to be confident, we have to start training our brains. The Above brain scan details by DR. GYORGY BUZSAKI, NEUROSCIENCE INSTITUTE, shows the orange structure here as one of billions of neurons that is often stretching out to make connection (synapses) you see in yellow (more than 75,000). Those connections are what we are tweaking when we learn to choose confidence Just like mastering any other talent, gaining self-assurance requires repetition and time. Every time we do or learn something new, our brains adjust to store our new skill or bit of knowledge. This happens because parts of our brains are plastic and synapses that connect our brain cells, called the neurons, to each other can be modified, strengthened, and even newly created to store what we have acquired in this case confidence boost communication. From a scientific perspective people can blame both nature nurture for stacking the odds against them when it comes to valuing themselves. A biological reality is that women secrete different levels of hormones than men so react differently to the same world around us.brainThis brain scan shows “value areas” of the brain. DR PAUL GLIMCHER AND IFAT LEVY’s image caption reveal the areas of the brain in these images that are coloured to show they are activated “value areas” of the brain. Women tend to have a desire to please others, to seek acceptance, inclusion and avoid conflict. The way women respond to a stressful situations is different to men. While the men tend to take more risk when under pressure, the women look for the surer solutions and reach out to connect with others to manage stress. These genetic differences are compounded by the fact that we are socialized differently from the moment we are born and a pink hat is placed upon our heads.

Cartoon shows arrows coming out of woman's head

Boys and girls

As we grow up, young women are not necessarily taught to exhibit any self-confidence, and if we do, we are often criticized for being “snobby” or “stuck-up” or “bitchy” words seldom associated with men. We hear damaging terms like “women’s intuition” suggesting that we aren’t making strategic analyses, but basing our decisions on some ethereal gut feeling but study after study shows women and men equally data driven. And the relentless emphasis placed on how we look erodes our self-image and for most of us, gets worse over time. As a mother of 3 young girls, this resonates every time daughters receive another impossibly-proportioned doll designed for dress up, caregiving, or primping.

Some women in a perceived masculine job are treated with ridicule finding it hard to convince men they are as good and competent as required to do the job even with their identical qualifications trained by exact same Institute. These bias comes in underhand tactics, jokes derogatory of performance and hurtful comments that can affect confidence. It is sometimes deliberately done hoping it drives away unwanted females from an all male exclusive zone. These can be do traumatic for women that it is very necessary to educate men on how to act, behave or talk to women. Especially the women of diversity background raised in serious environments teach respect of the emotional feeling others. Healthy interactions are required in a civilised  society that prides itself on equal rights or equal opportunities. Women are still facing hitting a glass ceiling if they also desire promotion by climbing a broken ladder. It is well-documented we way we raise girls and women has a lasting impact on way they view themselves and their abilities. Negative messages will engender self-doubt and lead us to underestimate ourselves. The result is not only a nearly universal feeling of imposter syndrome but fear of making mistakes, suspicion of underperforming unattainable quest for perfection. This is what is shutting down when making a decision to be more confident.confidence-blog-Jan1-1

Practice, practice, practice

It doesn’t matter what level of self-assurance you start at, the more time and effort you dedicate to practicing being more confident, the faster your brain will change and the faster you’ll master it. So it is important to remove ourselves from situations and people who make you feel bad because confidence largely comes from being in supportive environment. Environment comprises people around us and what we choose to focus our attention on. It is beneficial to concentrate on things that are empowering and to steer clear of exposure to images and contents that make us feel bad about ourselves. The way we choose to hold and to conduct ourselves is another factor. The mental simulations help envisioning ourselves finishing a race, speaking in public to a standing ovation, mastering job, getting a degree can all help build ourselves up. Just as a coach gives encouraging pep talk to the team before taking the field, we can give ourselves a confidence lift. Notably, these practices have an impact on our overall health and wellbeing, serving as buffer to stress, depression, and fostering good mental and physical health. When we choose confidence, we are rewiring our brains and we are able to change ourselves and our world, for the better. So how would you feel if you can become more confident, happier go influence people in a more confident manner. With God all things are possible.

Reblogged and updated

100 women BBC season logo

Dr Stacie Grossman Bloom is Assistant Vice-President, Policy & Administration, and Associate Professor at Department of Neuroscience & Physiology, NYU Langone Health.

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SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP

IMG_20171102_114202 A recent study says sleep deprivation  actually causes brain cells to eat parts of brain’s synapses. The study found astrocytes went into overdrive in sleep-deprived mode more brain connections were broken down in chronically sleep-deprived people according to the Sleep Council. On average Britons gets a six-and-a-half hours sleep per night but for most people is not enough. Lots of these studies show that cutting back on sleep, deliberately or otherwise has serious effects on the body. Continuous nights of bad sleep is really messing blood sugar control and causing overeating. It even messes with DNA. A few years ago, Dr Simon Archer help ran experiment and found getting an hour’s less sleep a night affected activities of a wide range of volunteers’ genes in about 500 in all, including the effects associated with the inflammation and diabetes. And a good nights sleep uplifts body, mind, thought processes and moods or outlook on life.A woman after a good night's sleep

As much as wholistic benefits is gained by sound sleep on the other hand other studies shows negative effects on bodies of sleep deprivation. The clear effects of lack of sleep on mental health is shown by Trust Me I am a Doctor team with the sleep scientists at Oxford University by their experiments. They recruited some volunteers who normally sleep soundly fitted them with devices to accurately monitor their sleep. The first 3 nights of study they got a full, undisturbed eight hours. The next 3 nights, had restricted sleep to just four hours. Each day the volunteers filled in the psychological questionnaire designed to reveal any changes in their mood or emotions. So they kept video diaries of experiences of what happened. Sarah Reeve, a doctoral student who ran the experiment was so surprised by how quickly their mood changed. There was increase in anxiety, depression and stress, also increases in paranoia and feelings of mistrust about other people” she said. “Given that this happened only after 3 nights of a sleep deprivation that is alarming. Volunteers found experience unpleasant but one of them Josh claimed to be unaffected. Yet the computer data evidence showed the effects to be different. Although a week may not have as much toll as he thought it would on him, he said. “felt perfectly fine, not happy, sad, stressed, anything.” But tests did on him showed something very different. His positive emotions fell sharply after 2 nights of disturbed sleep, while negative emotions began to rise. Even though he felt OK there were signs he was mentally, beginning to suffer.sleep-deprived-woman-brain

What happens in body without enough sleep?

Poor sleep is linked to a whole range of disorders. A review of 153 studies with total of more than 5 million participants found that the short sleep significantly associated with diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, coronary heart disease and obesity.

how lack of sleep can affect your body: links with diabetes, heart disease, dementia, low mood and cognitive functioning, vaccinations less effective, lower immune response linked to coughs and colds, greater risk of obesity

Studies have shown that depriving people of enough sleep for only a few nights in a row can be enough to put healthy adults into a pre-diabetic state. Moderate levels of sleep deprivation damaged bodies’ ability to control blood glucose levels. And the vaccines are less effective if sleep deprived because sleep deprivation suppresses immune system making people more prone to infection. One study found participants who had fewer than seven hours of sleep were almost 3 times more likely to develop a cold than those who slept for 7 hours or more. People who do not sleep enough produce too much hormone ghrelin, associated with feeling hungry, and not enough of hormone leptin, associated with feeling full, which may contribute to their risk of obesity. There are also links to brain function and even in the long term to dementia. Prof. O’Mara explains that toxic debris builds up in brain during the course of the day and waste is drained from the body during sleep. If not sleeping enough ends up in a mildly concussed state, he says. The impact of sleeping too much though less understood is linked to poorer health including high risk of cognitive decline in older people. Different types of sleep to repair body and brain. After falling asleep body goes through the cycles of “sleep stages” lasting between 60 and 100 minutes. Each stage plays different role in the many processes that happen in our body during sleep.

sleep cycle through the night from awake to drowsy to light sleep, deep sleep, REM sleep and back

The first stage in each cycle is a drowsy, relaxed state between being awake and sleeping breathing slows, muscles relax, the heart rate drops. The second stage is a slightly deeper sleep may feel awake and this means on many nights, may be asleep and not know it. Stage three is deep sleep. It is very hard to wake up during this period because it is when there is the lowest amount of activity in body. Stages two and three together are known as slow wave sleep which is usually dreamless. After deep sleep we go back to stage two for a few minutes, and then enter dream sleep, also called REM (rapid eye movement). As name suggests is when dreaming happens. In a full sleep cycle a person goes through all the stages of sleep from one to three, then back down to two briefly, before entering REM sleep. Later cycles have longer periods of REM, so cutting sleep short has a disproportionately large effect on REM.

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‘Stuck’ In Negative Thoughts

The outcome of this small test reflects results of other much bigger tests done by other university researchers all over the world of sleep deprivation affecting  mental health. The research recruited more than 3,700 university students across the UK who reported problems sleeping and randomized them into two groups. One group received 6 sessions of online CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) for improving their sleep; the other group got standard advice. Ten weeks into the study, the students who received CBT reported a halving in rates of insomnia, accompanied by noticing the significant improvements in scores for depression, anxiety, big reductions in paranoia and hallucinations. This is the largest random controlled trial of psychological treatment for mental health in UK. And it strongly suggests that insomnia really causes mental health problems rather than simply being consequence of them. Daniel Freeman, the professor of the clinical psychology, Oxford University led study and thinks one of the reasons why sleep deprivation is bad for brain is because it encourages the repetitive negative thinking seen. And negative thoughts happen if sleep-deprived and gets stuck in them,” he said. He does not think a few nights of bad sleep means you becoming mentally ill but think it increases the risk.a1bb7cc18e609b3436edc80883d82dcd--interesting-health-facts-interesting-information

One in three people have difficulty in sleeping about 5% to 10% of the general population has insomnia but so many people get on with their lives and they cope with it. But it does raise the risk of a whole range of other mental health difficulties.” The positive side of this research is it implies helping people get a good night’s sleep goes a long way to helping improve a sense of well-being. And Norbert Schwarz, the professor of psychology at University of Southern California, has even put a figure on it. He claims: “Making $60,000 (£48,400) more in annual income has less of an effect on your daily happiness than getting one extra hour of sleep a night.” So, sleep well. In children, their sleep deprivation seems to have a slightly different effects on kids vs. adults. One recent study found the brain changes so half-night of sleep deprivation affects the back regions of the brain instead of the front regions as it does in adults.howthebrainrbrainscan

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Effects of Sleep Deprivation on Brain

Lots of studies reveal damaging effects of sleep deprivation on the brain. Scans from various research shows difference in brain between sound sleep and those of deprived sleep. Biological and social influences converged to create a perfect storm keeps some awake at night. In the pre-industrial times, people woke up at first light and naturally wind down at sunset. Little work could be done in the dark by candlelight but the invention of artificial light altered sleep experiences by turning night to daylight. Lightbulbs, television screens, smartphones confuse bodies’ internal clocks to interrupt the natural sleep cycle. Modern society has been conditioned to think sleeplessness is a badge of honour and productivity. Some people naturally adapted to these changes but for others these changes are against nature so has exacerbated an underlying biological deficiency and created a cycle of sleeplessness.

Neuron Synapse

Fig 2. Neurotransmitter GABA flowing between neurons. 2 natural compounds play an essential role in regulating sleep cycle: GABA and melatonin. As the day wears on absence of light and the body’s internal clock trigger the production of melatonin works with neurotransmitter GABA to help wind down mind and to prepare body for sleep. When the sleep cycle is interrupted by anxious thoughts levels of GABA and melatonin does not reach the threshold necessary to induce sleep. More concerning is how a lack of sleep affects the brain. During a healthy sleep cycle a nervous system functions like a dishwasher cleaning up the waste proteins and toxins produced by active brain cells during the day. But without enough sleep, the body does not have enough time to completely clean up the waste produced by brain. In the same way dishwasher cannot properly clean dishware if turned off in mid-cycle. If feeling groggy after a restless night it is actually experiencing effects of a toxin buildup in brain. If sleeplessness cycle continues for extended period of time, there is a longer lasting detrimental effects on the brain and overall health.
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new clinical study by the Princeton Consumer Research says break cycle without relying on harmful chemicals with addictive properties. Alleviate this problem in a simple way using natural ingredients to promote a healthy sleep. In the last 18 months, researchers in a GMP-certified facility in New York have perfected a formula containing 5 safest and most potent natural compounds for restful sleep. In addition the position of sleep affects mental health and sound sleep. So sleep experts advise people to sleep more on their sides to enable the brain to detox and drain waste products better. People’s personality often can be determined by their sleep patterns and positions leading to their performance in life. Whatever position suits each one depends of personal choice and comfort though health can affect sleep position. In some circumstances environmental noise pollution can intrude into sleep no matter preparations made. In such cases it is wise to consult sleep experts for professional cobsultation advice. 

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The univeristy also developed natural sleep nutrients to help improve sleep. It is advisable to contact a doctor before embarking on any form of natural or a medical aid to sleep. A natural RediNite combines delicate balance of Melatonin, and the L-Tryptophan, Magnolia Bark, Lemon Balm, and Passion Flower to help your mind wind down to promote healthy, sustained sleep. Each of the 5 natural ingredients in the RediNite formula has been clinically proven to boost levels of GABA and melatonin, allowing body to sleep peacefully and naturally to flush waste proteins from brain accumulated while awake. The result is falling into a deep sleep more quickly and waking up feeling refreshed, and ward off morning grogginess. Whether an early bird or a night owl, RediNite helps to establish a healthy sleep routine centered around your specific needs. When you struggle with sleeplessness, you need something to helps fall asleep fast, promotes deep, restful sleep so you wake up refreshed each morning. The Princeton Consumer Research performed a clinical trial to test RediNite’s effectiveness within 30 minutes and over the course of 30 days.

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Click here to view the complete results.

While it is not a miracle cure, clinical results are very encouraging. After one week of use, more than 3 out of 4 study participants fell asleep in 30 minutes of taking RediNite. In addition, over 95% said their sleep quality improved within 30 days. None of participants reported any negative side effects. The results were statistically significant compared with placebo. RediNite is vegan, non-GMO, and gluten-free, and is made in a GMP-certified facility in New York to ensure the highest standards of safety. The entire RediNite compound fits into one vegetable capsule with low-dosage, high-efficiency ingredients helps for the immediate relief. Taken daily, body will safely absorb the RediNite’s natural ingredients and help to achieve deep restful sleep each night. Go to sleep faster and stay asleep longer by trying RediNite tonight. This exclusive offer is not available in stores. Available online through November 4th. Click the link below to claim 30 Day Trial of RediNite.

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God is always watching over you

1. Psalm 121:2-5 My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let you fall. Your guardian will not fall asleep. Indeed, the Guardian of Israel never rests or sleeps. The Lord is your guardian. The Lord is the shade over your right hand.

2. Proverbs 3:24  When you lie down, you will not be afraid. When you rest, your sleep will be peaceful.

3. Psalm 4:7-8 But you have made me happier than they will ever be with all their wine and grain. When I go to bed, I sleep in peace, because, Lord, you keep me safe.

4.  Psalm 3:3-6 But you, Lord, protect me. You bring me honor; you give me hope. I will pray to the Lord, and he will answer me from his holy mountain. I can lie down to rest and know that I will wake up, because the Lord covers and protects me. So I will not be afraid of my enemies, even if thousands of them surround me.

 

Rest Assured

5. Proverbs 1:33 but whoever listens to me willlive in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.

6. Psalm 16:9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure.

7. Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

8. Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Don’t sleep too much

9. Proverbs 19:15 Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless go hungry.

10. Proverbs 20:13 If you love sleep, you will end in poverty. Keep your eyes open, and there will be plenty to eat!

11. Proverbs 26:14-15 Like a door on its hinges, a lazy man turns back and forth on his bed. Lazy people are too lazy to lift the food from their plate to their mouth.

12. Proverbs 6:9-10 How long will you lie there, you lazy person? When will you get up from sleeping? You sleep a little; you take a nap. You fold your hands and lie down to rest.

 

Don’t overwork yourselfeither. Can’t sleep? Check out verses for sleepless nights

13. Ecclesiastes 5:12 The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether they eat little or much, but as for the rich, their abundance permits them no sleep.

14. Psalm 127:2 It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.

 

Examples

15. Jeremiah 31:25-26 I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint. At this I awoke and looked around. My sleep had been pleasant to me.

16. Matthew 9:24 He said, “Go away, for the girl is not dead but sleeping.” And they laughed at him.

17. John 11:11 After saying these things, he said to them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him.”

18. 1 Kings 19:5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.”

19. Matthew 8:24 Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.

20. Matthew 25:5 As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept.

Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep 

Sleep, sleep,
Don’t peep,
Night is coming soon;
Mama tucks her sleepyheads,
Snugly in their cozy beds;
Sleep, sleep,
Don’t peep,
Night is coming soon.
Soon…

Good night,
Sleep tight,
May your dreams be sweet;
Twinkling stars, their watch will keep,
While the angels guard your sleep,
Good night,
Sleep tight,
May your dreams be sweet.
Sweet…

Courtesy Credits:

Rebloged and Updated

Words & Music: W. Otto Miessner Adapted By: Terry Kluytmans © 2002

Trust Me I’m a Doctor – Mental Health Special on BBC2 at 21:00 GMT Wednesday 1 November.

OBSESSIVE SEX PARANOIA

ea7684f55c211010a61930ebddaf297a--health-guru-health-and-wellnessGalatians 5:24 in Bible says those who belong to Christ Jesus must crucify flesh with its passions and desires not to see the world only through sexual lenses. A paranoid personality disorder (PPD) is a mental disorder characterized by fear and situation of recurrent suspicion yet without justification, regarding sexual fidelity of spouse or sexual interaction of friends. This behaviour ruins that a family and damages relationships as the person is hyperalert constantly listening and looking for signs to convince them of obsessive thoughts. Normal sex organ for obsessive paranoia is used for abuse since sex sells society advertises it with products. It is a nightmare for paranoia as it triggers sex as bad memory they are always uptight and angry. With low self-esteem feel worthless so is pushing buttons to hurt people since they cannot have peace or be happy. Advertised sex images causes people to buy products so cars are advertised by seminaked blond women makes passion flow to purchase car advertised using sexual innuendos leading people to buy product. paranoidlargeWhether subtle sophistication, left to imagination or blatant in face sexual approach adverts in society saturate the mind by their endless images on the TV drama, conditions minds to think sexual thoughts. Longterm impact is world is viewed from such sexual perspectives. Freud said that mothers breastfeeding “have sexual intimacy” connotation with their children in his opinion causing oedipus complex. Such theories lead to these modern attitudes towards mothers for not being allowed to breastfeed in public. Breasts are seen as the object of sexual gratification than source of food. Body organ for passing urine is used more that way than used for having sex yet more associated with sex and birth canal in same manner is treated as exclusively a sexual organ. So much negative attitude is projected onto private parts causing terrified mothers not to and touch clean children’s private part. “Private” is exacerbated to include even wiping poo off the organ. Children are victimized by their parent’s memory triggered by sexual abuse so nurseries are under the pressure to clean without making any form of contact with child’s sexual organs. When the special needs under-developed children are not toilet trained yet aware of the names of body parts, they think that a normal cleaning process or dressing them means being “touched.” Reinforces words in the mind of a child under pressure and stressed to ensure they are never “touched” and “abused” as parents were molested in their childhood. This highlights misuse of normal function of organs is turned into a fearful weapon looking out for ‘predators’ on prowl to ‘defile’ children. b605d756fed629476fa88ad3260f7ad6--boderline-personality-disorder-borderline-personality-disorder-symptomsThe news is full of real life stories that creates are sad but the domino counter effect panic atmosphere of suspicion is damaging children. Genuine carers who do a great job are insulted that they are looking for sexual gratification in child while doing normal duty caring for the wet or soiled children. It’s inconceivable to integrity and reputation of genuine carer to stoop low trying to taint them with same brush of their past abuser. It is despicable to project the vile thoughts of guilty conscience as participants onto innocent children due to obsessive fear and paranoia of repeating history. And many innocent people have been hurt and lost valuable friends for support as a result of accusations. It is necessary to train children to have awareness of use of body parts yet it is also important to not overburden them with sexual use of organs. There are billions not interested in sex who do not live their lives only by sexual thoughts and intimate actions.IMG_20171025_154659PERSONALITY_parentingCompulsive behaviour leads to the low affection and harsh treatment thought wrongly as discipline. The majority of case studies show an inbred abuse sadly perpetrators others unaware of. Despite vulgar sexual language seen as normal jokes some people do not feel or want a sexual attraction experience. Rapidly growing website sprawling online hub of AVEN online community asexuals began to coalesce, and with the website came the journalists and academics curious about similar people. Research suggests you might know some asexual people, even if you don’t realise it. It’s estimated around 1percent of the UK population is asexual, even if they don’t define themselves as such. The criteria is never feeling a sexual attraction to anyone at all. A sociologist based at the University of Warwick first conducted research in asexuality in 2009. Finding the work fascinating has been exploring issues related to asexuality ever since. This research was initially concerned with asexual identity, asking how someone might come to identify as asexual, but I soon realised that we can’t understand why the identity “asexual'” has emerged without looking at broader cultural attitudes relating to asexuality identity. Conducted research study into thoughts and feelings of asexuals was surprised how similar the experiences were of the roughly 200 people who took part. They were all different in so many ways, but were united in having been made to feel there was something fundamentally wrong with them because they didn’t experience sexual attraction. They felt “weird” “broken” “fucked up” phrases came up time and time again. So people who genuinely cared about thought it was them that made them feel that way for not wanting sex. Some parents laughed at those who told them was asexual and still, to this day, don’t seem to believe it.IMG_20171025_154444mental-illness-paranoia-ocd-9-728In the end time, 144,000 virgins sealed by God in Israel are men Chosen from 12 tribes who will not experience sex as party of their role in life. Non perverted in mind permeating other minds with fear and negative thoughts of natural body for urine associated as sex object onto the next generations. Obsessives turn pure good thoughts into suspicious obsessive paranoia fearing sexual abuse of innocent people. Sometimes directed to hurt people who truly care about them attacking them of sleeping with partner etc. because as a man thinks so is he. So bad they do not accept responsibility to seek therapy to deal with guilty anger root of defilement plaguing them. Most friends abandoned such people constantly being accused of intimacy with their man. Or accused of ulterior motives for supporting them is draining emotionally so left them. Their toxic controlling behaviour intimidates and frightens people. Their intolerance for frustration makes slaves out of the people who help them. Their behaviour towards children is so appalling jealous of own children’s happiness. Personality disorders are worse if both partners are people with personlity disorders. BIG_5_PDs_Agreeableness

Hypersexualization oversexualisation of young children plants seeds of their sexualization by early sexualization or precocious sexualizisation. Normal hugs for oxytocin or riding horses on back of children is depicted or treated as sexual objects of interaction. An uptight family is explosive so that the healthy normal nonsexual playing body contact seen is frowned upon for fear it may proceed into sexuality inappropriate action. This is imposed through media, marketing or products directed at them encouraging them to think of adult sexual ways. It is necessary to protect young children by awareness, sexy poses, girls dressing up and dancing porn-style to favourite pop star’s adult lyrics. So obsessive paranoia hypersexualization from TV web trigger constant fear being projected onto the innocent people. Hypersexualisation  by the widespread use of Internet, phones and other communication devices make it commonplace. It affects those who already have inclination to be obsessed with sexual thoughts. The irony is often the accuser are the one having sex and having children conditioned but turn around to point accusing fingers at the ones leading their lives with dignity. It is important to seek anger management, talking therapy for 5 years to clear head of the negative effects of bad memories. And keep a journal to write down such thoughts and learn how to deal with the thoughts to overcome them long-term.  

Therapy Needs to Address

Criticism. Stop criticism of partner and others habitually for you are attacking their personality. Over time, this breeds resentment, stop constantly criticising others as it becomes a huge problem. It is not surprising everyone steers clear after a while of taking so much nose up snobbery and derogatory rudeness. No one is perfect in life so stop harassing people with your insecurities and fears projected on them needlessly. Deal with your inner negative thoughts and stop blaming everyone and everything on those who genuinely cares about you.

Contempt. This is makes it impossible to please you so recognise if consistently looking down on partner, is dismissive, constantly rolling eyes at what the other says, mocking them, sarcastic, sneering at partner and others, this means seeing them as “less than.” Contempt closely follows loss of respect so learn the value of mutual respect not be always right.

Defensiveness and Anger If you can’t talk to one another because one or both of you are defensive and angry this is a problem because you won’t be listening to another’s point of view so over time, switch off. Communication is the key to working on relationship problems and without that you cannot get anywhere. Defensiveness leads to “blame” where each person is lashing out in defence: “You did this,” “Yes, but you did that” so indignant everything is a battle. You’re so busy defending yourself nothing gets resolved. Stop attacking people and get a correct perspective on your life. Give each other space and time to talk, listen to sort things out. Life is not a cul-de-sac only about you so learn to give and take respect with consideration for others. 

Cold Shoulder Take stock to think and reflect on your actions retreat to clear head, talk not just block other person. It is good to hear what is being said, either not afraid to deal directly and honestly with people. The person given the cold shoulder trying to talk to the other often is ignored because feels always right. So may try to trigger a row to get the other to react and talk. It results in an awful atmosphere and can eventually make the person being attacked afraid to have any sort of discussion because they are afraid of the silent treatment. This shuts down communication or reconciliation. In extreme cases medical intervention is required if issues are associated with post partum psychosis or any clinical depression. Persistent anger reacting against others has underlying deeper issues of anger projected on others must be dealt in long-term counselling.

 

MANAGING AUTISM DAILY

815v8CYBCGL._SL1500_Autism can be managed to excel at the highest level of education on spectrum range as Temple Grandin, Ph.D. shows. Temple is a gifted animal scientist who designed one-third of all the livestock-handling facilities in USA. She lectures widely on the autism spectrum because Temple Grandin is an autistic woman who thinks, feels, experiences the world in ways incomprehensible to the rest. In her book, Grandin delivers the report on autism from dual perspectives of a scientist and autistic person sharing her experiences and how she managed to function in the world. What emerges in Thinking in Pictures is the document of an extraordinary woman bridging gulf of condition to shed light on a common issue familiar to many people. Oliver Sacks calls Temple Grandin’s book First picture of autism from the inside” quite extraordinary, unprecedented in a way unthinkable.” Sacks told part of her story in his words and in response in Thinking in Pictures Grandin returns to tell her life history with greater depth, insight and feeling. Grandin told Sacks, I don’t want my thoughts to die with me, wants to do something to know my life has meaning. I’m talking about things at the very core of my existence. Grandin’s clearly explains what it is like to “think in pictures” to broaden minds and bring clarity on a whole school of philosophy declaring language as an only necessary tool for expressing thought. So Grandin feels she can see through a cow’s eyes to influence the design of slaughter houses and livestock restraint systems. She has great insight in human animal relations. So would be good if Thinking in Pictures transforms similarly to study religious feelings to make the world better place.

Anyone who needs help in dealing with autism can get help through available sources including books, advice from GPs and experts. Grantin’s original book published her life as high-functioning autistic woman. Grandin wrote articles on her life and work as animal scientist in 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. Words of encouragement in support of her work is included here by those who found her books helpful. The Library Journal noted from her autobiography, emerged: Labeled Autistic (LJ 5/15/86), Grandin (animal studies, Colorado State Univ.) on how, high-functioning autistic adult overcame her disability to design livestock-handling equipment. Profiled in Oliver Sacks’s An Anthropologist on Mars (LJ 2/15/95), Grandin lectures on autism at meetings and conferences. Using insights from scientific studies, autobiographies by autistic adults, and her experiences explained how people with autism differently perceive and process visual sensory information and experience to express emotion, develop social skills. She reviews diagnosis and treatment of autism, and discusses its association with talent and genius. And in the book we learn of Grandin’s own strategies for coping with autism. How autism gives advantage to understand behavior of animals. This book is highly recommended for anyone interested in the subject. Published: Lucille Boone, San Jose P.L. Cal. Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

A most remarkable woman, Grandin describes her deepest feelings while telling how she made herself a strong and valued individual. Autistic, she was helped by her mother, book’s dedicatee, and mentors who included high-school science teacher, a cattle-rancher aunt in Arizona, and a Swift meatpacking plant manager. Attacks of nerves and panic nearly overwhelmed her in her teens, but carefully selected and supervised drugs eased many of those problems. After earning a doctoral degree, she undertook her first work project, which was called the “Stairway to Heaven.” Instrumental for her in developing that and other methods for the humane treatment of food animals was her ability, determined in some measure by her autism, to think in pictures, her profound caring for the animals, and her engineering capabilities; fully one-third of U.S. facilities for handling hogs and cattle use her designs. Readers of Oliver Sacks’ Anthropologist from Mars, title article of about Grandin, will want to read Grandin’s own heartwarming real story. William Beatty

Online Reviews of the Book

“I hardly know what to say about this remarkable book. . . . It provides a way to understand many kinds of sentience, human and animal, that adorn the earth.” –Elizabeth Marshall Thomas, author of The Hidden Life of Dogs

“There are innumerable astounding facets to this remarkable book. . . . Displaying uncanny powers of observation . . . [Temple Grandin] charts the differences between her life and the lives of those who think in words.” –The Philadelphia Inquirer

“A uniquely fascinating view not just of autism but animal and human thinking and feeling, providing insights can only be called wisdom.” –Deborah Tannen, author of You Just Don’t Understand

“How does a true marvel let you know it has arrived? It’s hard to imagine an intellect as towering as Sacks’s coming up with perceptions rare completely out of left field as Grandin herself does in this mind-blowing book.” — Newsday

“Temple Grandin’s window onto the subjective experience of autism is of value to all of us who hope to gain a deeper understanding of the human mind by exploring the ways in which it responds to the world’s challenges.” — The Washington Times

“Temple Grandin, anthropologist from Mars, takes us on journey through her inner life and, with exquisite scientific detail offers us near photograph of the workings of her visual mind.” –John Ratey, coauthor of Driven to Distinction

“Temple Grandin’s legacy is invaluable gift of compassion. This is a journey of courage, determination, and, above all, worth. Society is the better for Temple Grandin having left her mark on it.” –Alex Pacheco, President, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

“Thinking in Pictures is beautiful book. Grandin has created a beautifully odd and fascinating picture of her life and mind, and her abiding love of animals.” — Elle

“A tireless researcher with a bionic memory and a superb education, no one can write with Temple’s authority because nobody knows as much as she does! This is an outstanding book that every parent and professional in the field of special needs will want to read, and general reader will acquire a new appreciation of autism, its liabilities, and its formidable assets.” –Annabel Stehli, author of The Sound of a Miracle

“Even Sacks’s fine writing about autism does not really compare to writing from within autism, because autism disorder of interiority. . . . Grandin has replaced the teleology of autobiography with something much closer to her heart: a diagram, in this case a diagram of her own mind.” –Voice Literary Supplement

From the Publisher

The captivating subject of Oliver Sack’s Anthropologist on Mars, is the Temple Grandin’s personal account of living with autism and extraordinary gift of animal empathy transformed her world and ours.

Temple Grandin renowned throughout the world as a designer of livestock holding equipment. Her unique empathy for animals has her to create systems which are humane and cruel free, setting the highest standards for the industry the treatment and handling of animals. She also happens to be autistic. Here, in Temple Grandin’s own words, is the story what it is like to live with autism. Temple is among the few people who have broken through many neurological impairments associated with autism. Throughout her life, she developed unique coping strategies, including famous “squeeze machine,” modeled after seeing the calming effect squeeze chutes on cattle. She describes pain, isolation growing up “different” and her discovery visual symbols to interpret “ways of the natives” Thinking In Pictures gives information from the frontlines of autism, including treatme medication, and diagnosis, as well as Temple’s insight into genius, savants, sensory phenomena, etc. It is Temple’s unique ability describe ways her visual mind works and how she first made her connection between impairment and the animal’s temperament understood extraordinary phenomenal way.

From the Inside Flap

Temple Grandin, Ph.D. is a gifted animal scientist who has designed one third of all livestock-handling facilities in the United States. She lectures widely on autism because she is autistic, a woman who thinks, feels, and experiences the world in ways incomprehensible to the rest of us. In this unprecedented book, Grandin writes from dual perspectives of a scientist and an autistic person. She tells us how she managed to breach the boundaries of autism to function in the outside world. What emerges is the document of an extraordinary human being, one who gracefully bridges the gulf between her condition and our own while shedding light on our common identity. “The innumerable astounding facets to this remarkable book displays the uncanny powers of observation of Temple Grandin charting the differences between her life and the lives of those who think in words.” Philadelphia Inquirer

About the Author

Temple Grandin has a Ph.D. in animal science from the University of Illinois and has designed one third of all the livestock-handling facilities in the United States, and many in other countries. She is currently an associate professor of animal sciences at Colorado State University and a frequent lecturer at autism meetings throughout country. She lives in Fort Collins, Colorado.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Thinking in Pictures Autism VisualsI THINK IN PICTURES. Words are like a second language to me. I translate both spoken and written words into full colour movies, complete with sound, which run like a VCR tape in my head. When somebody speaks to me, his words are instantly translated into pictures. Language-­based thinkers often find this phenomenon difficult to understand, but in my job as an equipment designer for the livestock industry, visual thinking is a tremendous advantage.

Visual thinking has enabled me to build entire systems in my imagination. During my career I have designed all kinds of equipment, ranging from corrals for handling cattle on ranches to systems for handling cattle and hogs during veterinary procedures and slaughter. I worked for many major livestock companies. In fact, one third of the cattle and hogs in the United States are handled in equipment I have designed. Some people I’ve worked for don’t even know their systems designed by someone with autism. I value my ability to think visually, and I would never want to lose it.

One of the most profound mysteries of autism has been the remarkable ability of most autistic people to excel at visual spatial skills while performing so poorly at verbal skills. When I was a child and a teenager, I thought everybody thought in pictures. I had no idea that my thought processes were different. In fact, I did not realize the full extent of the differences until very recently. At meetings and at work I started asking other people detailed questions about how they accessed information from their memories. From their answers I learned that my visualization skills far exceeded those of most other people.

I credit my visualization abilities with helping me understand the animals I work with. Early in my career I used a camera to help give me the animals’ perspective as they walked through a chute for their veterinary treatment. I would kneel down and take pictures through the chute from the cow’s eye level. Using the photos, I was able to figure out which things scared the cattle, such as shadows and bright spots of sunlight. Back then I used black-­and-­white film, because twenty years ago scientists believed that cattle lacked color vision. Today, research has shown that cattle can see colors, but the photos provided the unique advantage of seeing the world through a cow’s viewpoint. They helped me figure out why the animals refused to go in one chute but willingly walked through another.

Every design problem I’ve ever solved started with my ability to visualize and see the world in pictures. I started designing things as a child, when I was always experimenting with new kinds of kites and model airplanes. In elementary school I made a helicopter out of a broken balsa-­wood airplane. When I wound up the propeller, the helicopter flew straight up about a hundred feet. I also made bird-­shaped paper kites, which I flew behind my bike. The kites were cut out from a single sheet of heavy drawing paper and flown with thread. I experimented with different ways of bending the wings to increase flying performance. Bending the tips of the wings up made the kite fly higher. Thirty years later, this same design started appearing on commercial aircraft.

Now, in my work, before I attempt any construction, I test-­run the equipment in my imagination. I visualize my designs being used in every possible situation, with different sizes and breeds of cattle and in different weather conditions. Doing this enables me to correct mistakes prior to construction. Today, everyone is excited about the new virtual reality computer systems in which the user wears special goggles and is fully immersed in video game action. To me, these systems are like crude cartoons. My imagination works like the computer graphics programs that created the lifelike dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. When I do an equipment simulation in my imagination or work on an engineering problem, it is like seeing it on a videotape in my mind. I can view it from any angle, placing myself above or below the equipment and rotating it at the same time. I don’t need a fancy graphics program that can produce three-­dimensional design simulations. I can do it better and faster in my head.

I create new images all the time by taking many little parts of images I have in the video library in my imagination and piecing them together. I have video memories of every item I’ve ever worked with—steel gates, fences, latches, concrete walls, and so forth. To create new designs, I retrieve bits and pieces from my memory and combine them into a new whole. My design ability keeps improving as I add more visual images to my library. I add videolike images from either actual experiences or translations of written information into pictures. I can visualize the operation of such things as squeeze chutes, truck loading ramps, and all different types of livestock equipment. The more I actually work with cattle and operate equipment, the stronger my visual memories become.

I first used my video library in one of my early livestock design projects, creating a dip vat and cattle-­handling facility for John Wayne’s Red River feed yard in Arizona. A dip vat is a long, narrow, seven-­foot-­deep swimming pool through which cattle move in single file. It is filled with pesticide to rid the animals of ticks, lice, and other external parasites. In 1978, existing dip vat designs were very poor. The animals often panicked because they were forced to slide into the vat down a steep, slick concrete decline. They would refuse to jump into the vat, and sometimes they would flip over backward and drown. The engineers who designed the slide never thought about why the cattle became so frightened.

The first thing I did when I arrived at the feedlot was to put myself inside the cattle’s heads and look out through their eyes. Because their eyes are on the sides of their heads, cattle have wide-­angle vision, so it was like walking through the facility with a wide-­angle video camera. I had spent the past six years studying how cattle see their world and watching thousands move through different facilities all over Arizona, and it was immediately obvious to me why they were scared. Those cattle must have felt as if they were being forced to jump down an airplane escape slide into the ocean.

Cattle are frightened by high contrasts of light and dark as well as by people and objects that move suddenly. I’ve seen cattle that were handled in two identical facilities easily walk through one and balk in the other. The only difference between the two facilities was their orientation to the sun. The cattle refused to move through the chute where the sun cast harsh shadows across it. Until I made this observation, nobody in the feedlot industry had been able to explain why one veterinary facility worked better than the other. It was a matter of observing the small details that made a big difference. To me, the dip vat problem was even more obvious.

My first step in designing a better system was collecting all the published information on existing dip vats. Before doing anything else, I always check out what is considered state-­of-­the-­art so I don’t waste time reinventing the wheel. Then I turned to livestock publications, which usually have very limited information, and my library of video memories, all of which contained bad designs. From experience with other types of equipment, such as unloading ramps for trucks, I had learned that cattle willingly walk down a ramp that has cleats to provide secure, nonslip footing. Sliding causes them to panic and back up. The challenge was to design an entrance would encourage the cattle to walk in voluntarily and plunge into the water, which was deep enough to submerge them completely, so that all the bugs, including those that collect in their ears, would be eliminated.

I started running three-­dimensional visual simulations in my imagination. I experimented with different entrance designs and made cattle walk through them in my imagination. Three images merged to form final design: a memory of a dip vat in Yuma, Arizona, portable vat I had seen in a magazine, and an entrance ramp I had seen on a restraint device at the Swift meat-­packing plant in Tolleson, Arizona. The new dip vat entrance ramp was a modified version of the ramp I had seen there. My design contained three features that had never been used before: an entrance would not scare the animals, an improved chemical filtration system. And use of animal behavior principles to prevent the cattle from becoming overexcited when they left the vat.

The first thing I did was convert the ramp from steel to concrete. The final design had a concrete ramp on a twenty-­five-­degree downward angle. Deep grooves in the concrete provided secure footing. The ramp appeared to enter the water gradually, but in reality it abruptly dropped away below the water’s surface. The animals could not see the drop-­off because the dip chemicals colored the water. When they stepped out over the water, they quietly fell in, because their center of gravity had passed the point of no return.

Before the vat was built, I tested the entrance design many times in my imagination. Many of the cowboys at the feedlot were skeptical and did not believe my design would work. After it was constructed, they modified it behind my back, because they were sure it was wrong. A metal sheet was installed over the nonslip ramp, converting it back to an old-­fashioned slide entrance. The first day they used it, two cattle drowned because they panicked and flipped over backward.

When I saw the metal sheet, I made the cowboys take it out. They were flabbergasted when they saw that the ramp now worked perfectly. Each calf stepped out over the steep drop-­off and quietly plopped into the water. I fondly refer to this design as “cattle walking on water.”

Over the years, I have observed that many ranchers and cattle feeders think that the only way to induce animals to enter handling facilities is to force them in. The owners and managers of feedlots sometimes have a hard time comprehending that if devices such as dip vats and restraint chutes are properly designed, cattle will voluntarily enter them. I can imagine the sensations the animals would feel. If I had a calf’s body and hooves, I would be very scared to step on a slippery metal ramp.

There were still problems I had to resolve after the animals left the dip vat. The platform where they exit is usually divided into two pens so that cattle can dry on one side while the other side is being filled. No one understood why the animals coming out of the dip vat would sometimes become excited, but I figured it was because they wanted to follow their drier buddies, not unlike children divided from their classmates on a playground. I installed a solid fence between the two pens to prevent the animals on one side from seeing the animals on the other side. It was a very simple solution, and it amazed me that nobody had ever thought of it before.

The system I designed for filtering and cleaning the cattle hair and other gook out of the dip vat was based on a swimming pool filtration system. My imagination scanned two specific swimming pool filters that I had operated, one on my Aunt Brecheen’s ranch in Arizona and one at our home. To prevent water from splashing out of the dip vat, I copied the concrete coping overhang used on swimming pools. That idea, like many of my best designs, came to me very clearly just before I drifted off to sleep at night.

Being autistic, I don’t naturally assimilate information that most people take for granted. Instead, I store information in my head as if it were on a CD-­ROM disc. When I recall something I have learned, I replay the video in my imagination. The videos in my memory are always specific; for example, I remember ­handling cattle at the veterinary chute at Producer’s Feedlot or McElhaney Cattle Company. I remember exactly how the animals behaved in that specific situation and how the chutes and other equipment were built. The exact construction of steel fence­posts and pipe rails in each case is also part of my visual memory. I can run these images over and over and study them to solve design problems.

If I let my mind wander, the video jumps in a kind of free association from fence construction to a particular welding shop where I’ve seen posts being cut and Old John, the welder, making gates. If I continue thinking about Old John welding a gate, the video image changes to a series of short scenes of building gates on several projects I’ve worked on. Each video memory triggers another in this associative fashion, and my daydreams may wander far from the design problem. The next image may be of having a good time listening to John and the construction crew tell war stories, such as the time the backhoe dug into a nest of rattle­snakes and the machine was abandoned for two weeks because everybody was afraid to go near it.

This process of association is a good example of how my mind can wander off the subject. People with more severe autism have difficulty stopping endless associations. I am able to stop them and get my mind back on track. When I find my mind wandering too far away from a design problem I am trying to solve, I just tell myself to get back to the problem. Interviews with autistic adults who have good speech and are able to articulate their thought processes indicate that most of them also think in visual images. More severely impaired people, who can speak but are unable to explain how they think, have highly associational thought patterns. Charles Hart, the author of Without Reason, a book about his autistic son and brother, sums up his son’s thinking in one sentence: “Ted’s thought processes aren’t logical, they’re associational.” This explains Ted’s statement “I’m not afraid of planes. That’s why they fly so high.” In his mind, planes fly high because he is not afraid of them; he combines two pieces of information, that planes fly high and that he is not afraid of heights.

Another indicator of visual thinking as the primary method of processing information is the remarkable ability many autistic people exhibit in solving jigsaw puzzles, finding their way around a city, or memorizing enormous amounts of information at a glance. My own thought patterns are similar to those described by A. R. Luria in The Mind of a Mnemonist. This book describes a man who worked as a newspaper reporter and could perform amazing feats of memory. Like me, the mnemonist had a visual image for everything he had heard or read. Luria writes, “For when he heard or read a word, it was at once converted into a visual image corresponding with the object the word signified for him.” The great inventor Nikola Tesla was also a visual thinker. When he designed electric turbines for power generation, he built each turbine in his head. He operated it in his imagination and corrected faults. He said it did not matter whether the turbine was tested in his thoughts or in his shop; the results would be the same.

Early in my career I got into fights with other engineers at meat-­packing plants. I ­couldn’t imagine that they could be so stupid as not to see the mistakes on the drawing before the equipment was installed. Now I realize it was not stupidity but a lack of visualization skills. They literally could not see. I was fired from one company that manufactured meat-­packing plant equipment because I fought with the engineers over a design which eventually caused the collapse of an overhead track that moved 1,200-­pound beef carcasses from end of conveyor. As each carcass came off the conveyor, it dropped about three feet before it was abruptly halted by a chain attached to a trolley on overhead track. The first time the machine was run, the track was pulled out of the ceiling. The employees fixed it bolting it securely and installing additional brackets. This solved problem temporarily, because the force of the carcasses jerking the chains was so great. Strengthening the overhead track was treating a symptom of the problem rather than its cause. I tried to warn them. It was like bending a paper clip back and forth too many times. After a while it breaks.

Amazon.com Review

The line between autism and genius is a well known factor in history. As many great and accomplished achievers in the fields of life ranging from the academics in education, creative personalities and maestro musicians among others have level of autism. An important factor is to identify the specific talents, interests, abilities and needs of a child. As Temple demonstrates her ingenuity plus a good support network of family, teachers an aunt with a farm among many made it possible to achieve her best interests. So a verbal word oriented society designed to function mostly on verbal ability to read and write exams is justice being done to autistic children. School system is based on use of words in a preferred language so what mechanism is in place ensures nonverbal visual measurement of talent and skills. Is it fair to insist one size fits all education compares autistic children in the classroom to gifted or a usual average child.

Top reviews

5 stars reviews was a fascinating read. I especially liked the first half when she talked about her childhood, memories and how she came to learn things. It’s very helpful in…

 

5.0 out of 5 stars You know when you read something and you become agitated because somebody says something to which you can relate strongly and you neither ever had defined or quite understood…

 

2.0 out of 5 stars This one was random. Parts were helpful, but there are large portions talk about life at slaughter house I had a hard time correlating. I’d recommend a different…

 

5.0 out of 5 stars I’m a high functioning autistic and I loved this movie. Parts of it spoke to me so loudly, like the kids bullying her, calling her freak, or her telling strangers trying to…

 

5.0 out of 5 stars This book provides insights into the mind of a person in the autism spectrum that is invaluable for the parent and the teacher. What this books brings is an insider’s view. I…

 

5.0 out of 5 stars Most of us know very little about communication with animals, and this heart-warming book tells it all. The book also opens up an understanding

of the thinking of…

 

5.0 out of 5 stars Temple Gradin is simply fascinating. How she has trained her mind to work is amazing and has provided irreplaceable knowledge for me when working with our special student…

 

5.0 out of 5 stars I am making a special point of writing this while I am still reading it because I am concerned that it will be too easily dismissed by potential readers. I almost did not…

Autism Meltdowns

Many autistic people will experience meltdowns. The public ofinds it hard to tell the difference between an autism meltdown and temper tantrums, but they are different things. You can help by understanding autism, the person and what to do if you see someone having a meltdown. If your family member or the person you support has meltdowns, find out how to anticipate them, identify causes, and minimise their frequency.

What is a meltdown?

A meltdown is ‘an intense response to overwhelming situations’. It happens when someone becomes completely overwhelmed by their current situation and temporarily loses behavioural control.  This loss of control can be expressed verbally (eg shouting, screaming, crying), physically(eg kicking, lashing out, biting) or in both ways.

Autism meltdowns are not the same as temper tantrums

A meltdown is not the same as a temper tantrum. It is not bad of naughty behaviour and should not be considered as such. When a person is completely overwhelmed, and their condition means it is difficult to express that in appropriate way, it is understandable that the result is a meltdown.

Meltdowns are not the only way a person with autism may express feeling overwhelmed.  Other behaviours that may appear are less explosive but are equally common, such as refusing to interact, withdrawing from situations they find challenging, or avoiding them altogether.

What to do

If someone is having a meltdown, or not responding to you, don’t judge them. It can make a world of difference to someone with autism and their carers.

  • Give them some time – it can take a while to recover from an information or sensory overload.
  • Calmly ask them (or their parent or friend) if they’re OK, but bear in mind they’ll need more time to respond than you might expect.
  • Make space – try to create a quiet, safe space as best you can. Ask people to move along and not to stare, turn off loud music and turn down bright lights – whatever you can think of to reduce the information overload, try it.

Anticipating a meltdown

Many autistic people will show signs of distress before having a meltdown, which is sometimes referred to as the “rumble stage”. They may start to exhibit signs of anxiety such as pacing, seek reassurance through repetitive questioning or physical signs such as rocking or becoming very still. At this stage, there may still be a chance to prevent a meltdown. Strategies to consider include distraction, diversion, helping the person use calming strategies such as fiddle toys or listening to music, removing any potential triggers, and staying calm yourself.

Identifying the causes

A meltdown is a reaction to an overwhelming experience. If your family member or the person you support has meltdowns, identify what is overwhelming for them. Complete a diary over a period of time. Record what happened before, during and after each meltdown. Patterns may emerge. You may find that meltdowns occur at particular times, in particular places, or when something particular has happened.

Minimising triggers

Once you have a clearer idea what may be triggering meltdowns, think about ways you might minimise that trigger. Everyone with autism is different, but sensory differences,changes in routine, anxiety, and communication difficulties are common triggers.

Sensory considerations

Many autistic people have sensory differences. They may be over-sensitive to some senses, under-sensitive to others and often a combination of both.

For example, for someone who is over-sensitive to touch and sound, people brushing past them and a loud announcement at a train station could cause pain and sensory overload, leading to a meltdown. In this situation, it could be helpful to listen to calming music on headphones to block out loud noises and wait until everyone has got off train before approaching platform to avoid crowds of people. Other situations to consider include creating low arousal environment (eg remove bright lights, soundproof walls) or using sensory equipment (eg glasses with dark or coloured lenses, ear defenders, a weighted blanket).

Change in routine

Consistent, predictable routines and structure are very important for autistic people and a change to routine can be very distressing. For example, the panic caused by needing to drive a different route to school due to roadworks could trigger a meltdown. In this example, a clear visual support explaining change, reassurance that the rest of the routine remains the same and adding extra support such calming/ comforting activity to do in the car could help. For an unexpected change, there can be a particular plan in place, such as the use of a picture symbol to explain the change, reinforcement of the rest of the day being the same (if that’s the case), a chance to express any frustration appropriately (such as hitting a pillow, ripping paper) followed by an activity that is known to calm the person such as taking deep breaths, listening to calming music, going for a walk, or squeezing a stress ball. It may help to increase structure around ordinary transitions, helping the person to navigate the change from one activity to another throughout the day. Using a clear timetable explaining when the transitions will be, using timers to countdown to transitions, using a favourite toy or character to be part of the transition, can all help.

Anxiety

With unwritten rules and unpredictable nature, the world can be an extremely challenging environment for autistic people and many experience anxiety. If a person does not have tools to calm down when anxious, they may have a meltdown. Develop strategies to manage anxiety, such as introducing our Brain in Hand app. Have a plan beforehand of what to do if the person feels anxious, such as a calming play list to listen to at the shops or a stress ball in their pocket. Build relaxation time into the routine. The person will generally feel calmer and better able to cope when something that could trigger a meltdown, occurs. What it means varies from person to person, and may consist of quiet activities, eg taking a walk, listening to music, and reading, doing puzzles, using fiddle toys, or more strenuous activities, eg jumping on a trampoline, going to the gym, playing a computer game. In the case of strenuous activities, observe if the activity really does calm the person down. If it doesn’t, but is just an activity they really enjoy, still build in time for that activity but try to find an activity that genuinely calms them and make time to use it well.

Communication difficulties

Autistic people can find it difficult to express their wants and needs, from a non-verbal child struggling to express need for a drink to a teenager finding it hard to express their emotions. This can result in overwhelming feelings, such as anger and frustration, leading to a meltdown. Support the person to find ways to understand and express their emotions appropriately before they get overwhelmed, and find ways to make your own communication more easily understandable. Verbal communication is challenging for autistic people due to potential misunderstanding of the body language, tone of voice, irony, sarcasm.

Things you can try include:

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Further information please contact:

Autism Helpline 

Tel: 0808 800 4104
(open 10am-4pm, Monday-Thursday, 9am-3pm on Fridays)
Text: 07903 200 200
(to request information packsonly)
Email enquiry service:  visitwww.autism.org.uk/enquiry
and complete the online form

The Autism Helpline provides impartial, confidential information, advice and support for autistic people and their families.

Miracle Cure for autism

Levin doesn’t call this particular cure a silver bullet for autism: There is no silver bullet, no one-size-fits-all approach. Rather, she credits his transformation to a number of things, including a home based and child centered social-relational program called the Son-Rise Program.

Susan Levin, pictured above with son Ben, documents her family’s journey in her memoir “Unlocked: A Family Emerging from the Shadows of Autism.”Tim Daley

But one of the biggest factors was what was on his plate. “Hippocrates was right when he advised, ‘Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food,’ ” she says. Levin is part of a growing group of people who are paying more attention to diet, organic, gluten- and casein-free among them, as a way to treat the symptoms of autism and other disorders. So strongly does she believe in the healing possibilities of food that she’s now a family wellness coach working exclusively with families of autistic children. While the scientific verdict is still out on diet as a cure, statistics point to a definite link between gastrointestinal issues and autism. A 2012 study published by the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology found a direct link between GI issues and behavior. 70 percent of children with autism have gastrointestinal issues during childhood or adolescence, food sensitivity, diarrhoea and constipation can cause extreme discomfort, leading to irritability, and erratic or withdrawn behaviour. But not everyone convinced.

“Over the years I’ve been privy to a million parents, a million cures,” says Andrew Baumann, president and CEO of New York Families for Autistic Children. “Parents are willing to try just about anything.” And while he concedes that diet can have a very positive effect, he just doesn’t see it as a cure for autism: “You can’t cure something [when] you don’t know what the cause is.”

Parents are willing to try just about anything. You can’t cure something [when] you don’t know what the cause is.

 – Andrew Baumann, president and CEO of<br /> New York Families for Autistic Children

Kathleen DiChiara begs to differ. The former Fortune 500 executive was diagnosed with sudden onset neuropathy, which left her unable to walk. When the doctors told her there was little to be done, she went back to school to study. She’s now a nutrition educator, chef and speaker who credits an all-organic diet for healing not only herself, but her 11- year-old son, Steven, who’d been diagnosed as autistic but is no longer considered to be.

Why are people resistant to the idea of food’s effect on illness?

“It’s socially inconvenient,” DiChiara says. “They’re already struggling, and the idea of removing things from the diet is so daunting. But it’s the difference between the children who get well and the ones who don’t.”

Maria Rickert Hong, author of “Almost Autism: Recovering Children From Sensory Processing Disorder,” credits a gluten-free, dairy-free diet with the recovery of her two children from sensory-processing disorder.

“In a child with neurodevelopment disorders, the brain is inflamed, and the gut and the brain are connected,” Hong says. “Most of these kids have gut dysbiosis — an imbalance of good versus bad bacteria, like having too many weeds in your garden. When you have that, the body’s immune system is off.”

Levin and her family initially started Ben on a gluten-free and casein-free diet, later eliminating soy, corn, potatoes and rice. But as soon as one offending food was removed, she says, a reaction to another popped up.

Then they tried the Body Ecology Diet, an anti-yeast diet high in grain-like seeds such as amaranth, quinoa, millet and buckwheat. Almost overnight, Ben calmed down and started making eye contact.

Now 12, Ben is studying for his bar mitzvah. Eight years after that chilling diagnosis, he’s become more empathetic, frequently saying “I love you” to his mother, his father and sister.

Levin says his newfound compassion is nothing short of a miracle.

“It doesn’t matter what people say,” says Levin. “I have my kid back.”

 

MOBILE PHONE ZOMBIES

6ed76d247e2d589b916cea28644a0ec4--food-for-thought-consciousnessToday’s world of young people obsessed with using smartphones are affected as teenagers have no Frontal Cortex Brain. This generation who spent their entire childhood and adolescence with USD of computers or smartphones feel effects, including negative impacts on mental health, says author Jean Twenge. Both children and parents can cut down on endless addictive use of computers ny ceasing the plug for starters, allowing supervised use within specified times including the smartphones and TV. A whole generation defines their identity by social media damaging family life, communication or socializing life skills. Many look Dow 24/7 without any breaks so affecting their sleep and mind throughout the day into the early hours of the morning. Many sleep less than 6 hours and function on clouded fogged heads we without clarity of thought or spatial awareness to adapt in dynamic here and the now moments of life. This ‘victims of technology’ success cannot blame their additive cybercondriac’s inadvertent lifestyle creation as addicts on computer gadgets, phones constantly monitored due to obsessive fear of their missing messages. And so people are too busy online in fear of missing messages that some put their lives at risk. Many lost lives not paying attention on the roads or when crossing traffic lights so endangered themselves and motorists. Now extreme measures are taken to endure safety on pavement light guides for ‘smartphone zombies.’

Pavement lights have been installed at a pedestrian crossing in a Netherlands town to help smartphone users cross the road safely. The light strips designed to catch the eye of people looking down at their device changes colour to match traffic signals. The lure of games and social media has come “at the expense of attention to traffic”, said councillor Kees Oskam. Dutch road safety group VVN said idea “rewards bad behaviour.” It is not a good idea to help such mobile phone users look at their phones,” said Jose de Jong of VVN, the Dutch Traffic Safety Association. We do not want such people to use phones when dealing with traffic, even when walking around. The people must always look around them, to check if cars are actually stopping at the red signals.” The lights have been installed on a trial basis at one crossing, close to 3 schools in Bodegraven. The company that developed the technology says it hopes to offer the strips to other towns in the future. Similar pavement lights are being tested in German city of Augsburg to help so-called “smartphone zombies” navigate level crossings.Feet on a street

Honolulu in Hawaii has become the first city in the world to ban people from looking at their phones or other digital devices while crossing the roads. The law, passed in July in an attempt to reduce injuries and deaths that occur while people are distracted, came into force on Wednesday. First offenders will face fines of up to $15-$35 (£11-£26) while repeat offenders face fines of up to $99. Urgent calls to the emergency services are exempt from the ban.man texting at a zebra crossing in Honolulu

The Distracted Walking Law states that “no pedestrian shall cross a street or highway while viewing a mobile electronic device.” The National Safety Council in the US added “distracted walking” to a list of injury risks in 2015, the same year a study in the Journal of Safety Studies found that hundreds of American pedestrians a year were injured while engrossed in their phones. Other countries have tried to find technological ways of dealing with the problem of “smartphone zombies”, from an app that scans the area to warn phone users of oncoming traffic, to pavement lights that change colour with the traffic lights but, are in the line of sight of someone looking phone.How are smartphones affecting teenagers?

Related Topics of diet

Not playing outdoor sports or engaging in any physical activities unless gadget oriented therefore impacts their health and emotional well-being. This curious evolution in technology affects lifestyle connections, collaborating, awareness, appreciation of natural environment. Is replaced by downward spiral of looking down without switching off smartphone to look up at natural beautiful world. So overwhelms human mind by too much information cluttering though process. It causes unnecessary anxiety and panic attacks seen in some people. Teenagers with diets lacking in fatty acids become anxious adults. Omega-3 deficiency is widely recognised as a major risk factor associated with such neuropsychiatric conditions as depression, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Existing research has consistently shown the importance of good omega-3 status during critical development periods of perinatal and adolescent life stages. According to new research imbalances in adolescence may have long term implications for emotional well-being and cognitive functions said co- lead author of study concluding: “Omega-3 PUFAs dietary deficiency during adolescence and in childhood found strong increases in anxiety and anhedonia which lead to decreases in specific cognitive functions in adulthood.” Adolescence is important time in development. The structure and function of brain changes most during adolescence, meaning it is important for individuals this age to maintain healthy diet. However it tends to be time when exact opposite happens. Independence means they start making their own food choices and as a result skip nutritious options in favour of easily accessible convenience foods typically lacking in nutrients, omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids. Diet is critical as fact omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids cannot be produced by the human body and must be obtained through food. The study involved latest research conducted by a multi-institutional French research team with result published in Journal of Neuroscience. diets-lacking-in-fatty-acids-may-become-anxiousThis subject requires teens cut down sugar intake and junk food so human’s genetic make-up impact of nutrients must be taught more in schools to help educate pupils and parents from the early years. It must be a general study course for knowledge and awareness throughout life. The damage caused by lack of these nutrients is irreparable so must be taken seriously. A balanced diet meal is essential especially in the early years and adolescence at which point diet requirements need omega-3 fatty acids most. Glamorous poor diet during adolescence reduces levels of nutrient in prefrontal cortex region important in regulating emotions risks, consequences nucleus accumbens primarily involved in addiction. It explains why addictive behaviour is most prevalent in teenage years. The low-quality diet weakens connections between neurons in these regions, impairing brain development and resulting in observed emotional and cognitive changes. Research result supports earlier research of long-term consequences of the poor nutrition in adolescence and importance of making sure food choices contains the nutrients essential for brain health. Breakfast is key for parents to ensure kids are well nourished in the morning and given vitamins to supplement foods eaten. To eat more fresh greens and vegetables everyday enhances brain performance.

How to cope with anxiety

Dr Rachel Andrew offers her advice for teens struggling with anxiety:

  • Seek appropriate help if you feel you need it
  • Remind yourself that it only forms a part of your strengths, talents and abilities
  • Try and practise mindfulness to stay in the moment, as your anxiety will drive you to constantly think of the future and worst case scenarios
  • Try to stay focused on the present and more manageable situations
  • Take a break on social media or at least have moments in the day where you switch alerts off

internet-medicine

Cyberchondria” is fuelling the epidemic health anxiety of people as 1/5 NHS appointments is hypochondriacs and those with irrational fears, experts have warned. Researchers from Imperial College London said internet searching and use of fitness trackers is heaping pressures on busy hospital clinics. The Health anxiety is estimated to cost NHS more than £420 million each year in outpatient appointments alone, with millions more spent on needless tests and scans, they warned. Instead, such cases should be offered a course of counselling, psychiatrists said, following a five-year study of patients treated in five English hospitals. Researchers said the internet was feeding a “silent epidemic” of health anxiety, where harmless ailments could be mistaken for terrifying diagnoses. And they said the growth of fitness trackers was likely to increase levels of hypochondria, heaping pressures on cardiac clinics and neurology units.8112295_f520

Dr Helen Tyrer, a senior clinical research fellow at Imperial College London, said the anxiety was often triggered by an event, such as the patient suffering a health scare, somebody in their family getting ill or dying, or a celebrity their age dying or getting sick. The internet is fuelling unnecessary health scares as they are convinced they have or are developing a serious underlying disease, or that an existing medical problem is much more serious than it is,” she said. “The belief is held despite all medical evidence to the contrary.” Lead author Professor Peter Tyrer said the internet appeared to be fuelling the trend: “We suspect it is increasing in frequency because of this cyberchondria,” he said. “People now go to their GPs with a whole list of things they’ve looked up on the internet and say ‘what do you make of this?’, and the poor GP, five minutes into consultation, has 4 pages of reading to do. Although,

“Dr Google is informative it does not put things in the right proportion,” he said.

The study, funded by National Institute for Health Research tracked 444 patient with severe health anxiety at cardiology gastroenterology, neurology respiratory departments. Some had genuine health complaints, or had suffered from them in the past but all had abnormal levels of anxiety. Those given the cognitive behavioural therapy saw a significant drop in anxiety levels five years on with similar death rates to those given the standard NHS care counselling led to discovering life-threatening illnesses researchers found.

BIBLE EDUCATION: ORAL SEX

Couple smiling under the covers at home in bedThe Bible talks of sexual conduct within God’s laws, regulations to enjoy loving each other intimately. God created sex so accepts and recommends the mutual sex consent agreement in Bible between married couples in 1 Corinthians 7:5. Its important to read God’s laws on sex in Bible not assume if church recommends oral sex its alright to do so. Often issues of harmful infections of STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) spread by spouse knowingly or unknowingly affects the married partner too. So it is important to discuss diseases transmitted by oral sex because people think it is the safest way to prevent pregnancy. Most people have the Actinomyces species bacteria israelii and bovis in lining of the mouth, throat, digestive tract, urinary tract and in the female genital tract. Practising of oral sex can be infected by contracting it without an immediate effect for years. This can develop into other diseases if the carrier passes it on through mutual sex. Most couples do not necessarily do tests as part of the marriage process. So anyone with the bacteria harmlessly in the body becomes dangerous if a person develops a disease, or if there is damage to the tissue lining causing the bacteria to spread out of normal environment. Actinomyces bacteria are anaerobic, which means they flourish deep inside body tissues where oxygen levels are very low. Bacteria living within deeper tissues are harder to diagnose, and they often take longer to treat. The disease can be triggered when internal body tissues are pierced, for example, by something sharp in the esophagus, or through tooth decay or gum diseaseAs disease progresses, painful abscesses can form and grow in size, usually over a period of months. Some can be severe surrounding bone, muscle penetrated. The infections can be large enough skin breaks open, leaking large amounts of pus. Be safe even if you agree mutually to engage in oral sex use condoms and do not use excuse it creates barriers to prevent natural penetration contact. A lot of couples get throat diseases, host of complex illnesses caused by oral sex.5fc5b207d20602a7d6798a62ad3b25dc

Types of actinomycosis

Actinomycosis can occur in virtually any part of the human body, but certain parts are more commonly affected. Half of all cases affect head, neck area, and the rest occur in areas such as the chest and the gastrointestinal tract. There are four main types:

Orocervicofacial actinomycosis

Orocervicofacial actinomycosis affects the mouth, jaw or neck, and it usually stems from dental problems, often caused by dental decay and poor oral hygiene. Actinomycosis cause abscess  after some dental procedures. Bacteria lives in dental plaque. Trauma to mouth or face also trigger it, including particles that injure mucous membrane. It can develop after some dental procedures. The infection may be obvious at once, or within one to several weeks of the trauma occurring. The person notices a hard, painful swelling in cutaneous or soft tissue, known as “woody” fibrosis, or they may develop an abscess. It is the most common form, and it accounts for 50 percent of all cases.

Thoracic actinomycosis

Thoracic actinomycosis infection can develop in the airways and lungs. It often happens when bacteria from the mouth and throat are unintentionally inhaled and enter the lungs. Symptoms affect lungs to start with but can extend to the area around lungs, chest cavity and vertebrae of the upper trunk. The person experiences weakness, fever, a productive cough or severe weight loss.

Abdominal actinomycosis

Abdominal actinomycosis infection occurs in the abdomen but it can affect other parts of digestive system, from the esophagus to anorectal area. It happens after somes case of appendicitis person develops abscess persistent fever and pain. Actinomyces in abdominal cavity can lead to infection in pericardium sac around the heart, or within the liver or spleen. Sometimes, a secondary pelvic infection may result.1200px-Actinomyces_israelii

Pelvic actinomycosis

Pelvic actinomycosis occurs within the pelvis as infection can spread from the vagina. It used to be thought that the women who use an intrauterine device (IUD) for contraception had the higher chance of developing this infection with extended use, but risk is now estimated to be very low, around 0.001 percent. A gynecological procedure can make it make it likely for women to develop pelvic actinomycosis. The bacteria can cause abscesses in ovaries and fallopian tubes and lead to complications with other organs within the abdomen and pelvis. Actinomycosis rarely affects a central nervous system (CNS). This can happen directly due to neck lesion or face or spread from elsewhere. It can lead to brain abscess causing headaches and neurological symptoms. Other rare type affects skin, bones, usually when infection spreads from deeper tissues.

Actinomycosis symptoms

Actinomycosis can take variety of forms mimicks other infections or neoplasms. It is important to check a private sexual act to see if it is causing health issues as pointed by medical journals referred to. This article informs people to become more aware of sexually related illnesses than can be connected to oral sex, they may not think is affected by oral sex. It good to be in know if sexual activities is contributing to complex health issues. It is vital to remember Actinomycosis as a bacterial infection also spreads through body tissues. Disease features a number of small interlinked abscesses. People have gems on hands even after washing hands. Multitudes of bacteria on hands mixed with bacteria in mouth, throat, digestive tract, vaginal walls is a toxic combination of hybrid gems evolving to complex infections of health problems.

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Symptoms differ according to the type of actinomycosis, but they may include:

  • Swelling and inflammation at the site of the infection
  • Tissue damage and scar tissue
  • Abscesses, or pus-filled lumps
  • Small holes or tunnels in tissue called fistulas that can leak a kind of lumpy pus.

The severity of symptoms depends on area of the body affected by infection. There may be pain and fever with body aches fatigue and generally feeling not well. It is estimated 75 percent to 95 % of actinomycosis lesions and infections involve other bacteria. Actinomycoses does not act alone so infections: group-B streptococcus, E. coli and a range of sexually transmitted infections affect babies at birth. Bible in 1 Corinthians 11:30 says for this cause many are weak and sickly among you and many sleep (die). Profaning of body and Blood of Lord Jesus through sexual immorality as prevalent in Sodom and Gomorrah killed people for their lack of knowledge and understanding of God’s Words. God says HIS PEOPLE perish for their lack of knowledge. Fear of God is beginning of wisdom for preservation into eternal life. A period of abstention every month forces a couple to build a non-sexual bond and sexual one. Helps build couple’s desire for each other making intercourse in the remaining two weeks more special. Gives partners chance to rest not feeling sexually inadequate. So emphasises self-discipline fundamental to high moral value sexual drive.

The-Marriage-of-Intimacy-C1

Diagnosis and treatment

Laboratory investigations to diagnose actinomycosis include microscopic examination of a culture of sputum or pus, or tissue taken in a biopsy. Pus or tissue typically contain yellow sulfur granules. Actinomycosis can be chronic condition so long-term treatment with antibiotics is common. Patients may need treatment ranging from 6 weeks to 12 months. In some cases, surgery is performed to drain an abscess or to remove an infected part, after which a 3-month course of antibiotics may be needed to resolve problem. To decrease the chance of developing actinomycosis, people should avoid any alcohol abuse, maintain good health and keep chronic medical conditions under control and practice good dental hygiene. Countries with good access to antibiotics or dental services, the incidence of actinomycosis tends to be lower. Increasingly young people told “oral sex is not really sex,” so promoted safe no risk pregnancy no risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease alternative to intercourse. The Bible in Leviticus 18 gives a long list of the sexual dos and don’ts acceptable to God. As the creator and originator of sex God has very high interest in body His Holy temple so gives instructions in Bible. Ephesians 5:3 says to believers, among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or impurity because these are improper for God’s Holy people.” Bible says “immorality” is forms sexual contact outside marriage. In Hebrews 13:4 the “marriage bed” is pure and undefiled according to Bible, sex is to be reserved for only marriage. Oral sex is sin if done before or outside marriage as the contraception method. Natural rhythm based on the monthly cycle of a woman is the safest method. A few days of 3-5 days before or after her ovulation the sperm can still live on for gestation. The rest of the month is free for natural safe sex. Discipline and self control is required to check her body temperature measured by thermometer to signal safest days for intercourse. The problem is lack of alertness to record a monthly cycle. Impulsive sex fuelled by drugs or alcohol can blur memory. It is necessary to be in tune with one’s body fully so to know exact days of ovulation of peak time for conception. The cervix accompanied by mucous helps to know exact day of ovulation. And men must be trained to have mutual agreement as Bible requires. Sex on demand anytime because you are his wife with threats to seek comfort elsewhere lacks accurate knowledge. God wants a couple to enjoy intimacy and be safe as well. Be careful if pastors and ministers approve of oral sex because it is your body that suffers  consequences of a reckless behaviour.intimacy4.jpgIs oral sex a sin within a marriage?

Christian married couples ask question and Bible disallows oral sex between a husband and wife or any sexual activity involving other people like swapping, threesomes, etc. or lusting after another person and pornography. So restrictions principle of “mutual consent” applies to 1 Corinthians 7:5 text requiring couples to abstain from frequency by “mutual consent” within marriage. This agrees perfectly with rhythm method as God killed Onan for wasting precious seed in the Bible. To fully agree between wife and husband it is good to space sex and enjoy comforting embraces. Depending on fasting total abstinence by spouses is highly recommended. So do not force or coerce into oral sex in marriage in the spirit of good mutual consent. There is a biblical case for declaring coercion sin. It can lead to the complex health issues of health caused by oral sex. Marriage or sex is God’s gift for affection intimacy so moral duty for practising believers to please God in the bedroom. So biblically acceptable for sexual intercourse for a married couple to follow joy of rhythm method. God is not wicked wizard of the West denying pleasure within confines of marriage. It is to ensure that sexual interaction must not cause  curses of the disease of Bible in Deuteronomy 28 to come upon those disobeying God’s Commands. Oral sex is not free from sin by mutual consent if a partner becomes infected with diseases. This costs high medical insurance premiums and life savings to treat lifetime consequence of fleeting moments of passion. So people must know the connection between oral sex and their lifestyle choices. Oral sex is not as “safe” as promoted alternative sexual intercourse, sexually transmitted diseases published by medical journals shows it is definitely not as safe as it is often suggested. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, HIV/AIDS, and other STDs can be transmitted through oral sex. So be aware and take great care of your Holy precious Temple if you choose to please God.  In some cultures it is a taboo for a reason because infection spreads to the innocent victims.How-is-it-weve-managed-to-stay-together-Christ-1024x682STORY TO ALL MEN EVERYWHERE:

A man who lived abroad now 64 years old lived in the US for 35 years with his family. Throughout life with family did live ‘happily.’ Had a wonderful wife by his side but took her for granted, didn’t pay much attention to her always had a vision of going back to others. So had affairs she knew and made her feel very sad but never apologised only told to get over it as not first man to be unfaithful. She was depressed for weeks eventually recovers but said she was unhappy. He never went on family holidays with his family all the years. Occasionally travels alone and sleeps with ex girlfriends or a short-term girlfriends to fulfil fantasy, on return wife wasn’t attractive to him for weeks. So effected sex life not great as always thinking of other women. He left his wife and family, thinking grass is greener for a ‘better life’ elsewhere. It was trying to settle alone on retirement idea left family to set up business. They protested but went against wife’s word and daughter stopped talking to him but thought life led without them was best. It seemed plan worked so took all his retirement money and selfishly left wife and daughter, hoping can cope as she’s still working. Promised will be visiting the US often. It was exciting at first and had a beautiful girlfriend who flattered him. Within a year all his money was finished while business was not fully set up, confronted with too many set backs. Hit with brain tumour, prostate cancer had to come to US again for treatment. The wife and daughter did well to take care of him but did not feel love passion from them. Was very depressed because he needed them but realised wife and daughter moved on emotionally having a good life. Wife reinvented herself, lost weight, dressed smarter and suspecting seeing someone because she too happy.Making_the_Hard_Choice-4Within a year in America his health was better so returned to complete so-called business. Went back but sad without wife beside him as she has moved on emotionally after years of neglect. So impotent after cancer and not willing to embarrass himself has no woman so he is very lonely. If he was loyal to his wife and made her happy in marriage his story will be different. Please young men out there, read this story to avoid stupid mistakes he made. His life is in an utter state of confusion and cannot even discuss anything with wife. Now depressed and lonely, husbands make future plans with your wives, stay faithful and love her fully and make her feel special because you have only one chance and one life. Do things so your wife will bless you. Be careful of your plans of setting up businesses back in your old age. It is often fantasy so does not work. All the money goes down the drain. And spoken to so many men stuck in the rut with the same mistake. He had a good life in America but failed to see it. So not saying do not come back to where you are from. Men should not do this alone enjoy your life and wife as life is too short. The cancer spread and has months to live so advised not to bother going back to America because nothing can be done. His wife and daughter are coming to see him before his end and demise. Know the Bible in Matthew 28:18-20 says that Jesus came and said, “All Power and Authority in heaven and earth id given to me. So go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold I am with you always to the end of the age. Amen

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HOLY KISS GREETING & HUGS

article-2071835-0F1BBF8E00000578-716_634x422In Romans 16:16 in the Bible Paul wrote in New Testament commanding believers to make contact or touch others with a warm smile, hand-clasp and a friendly hug. Paul encouraged the congregation and church members to give each other a hug, a touch as a sign of unity to greet each other with a holy kiss and hugs. And speak through the Psalms as people quote Shakespeare to share favourite lines in literature. The Pentecostals often greet each other with kisses and hugs. Visitors are welcomed this way so if the new members are not used to such a way of greeting they can feel innaudated and intimidated by the zealous members embracing or kissing them if not used to an intimate way of expressing agape love. Recently, in the church a female pastor rushed towards a new male visitor and proceeded to try to hug him as she does for many years. But the new member raised both his hands to indicate, ‘do not touch me or come too close.’ It surprised everyone as it had never happened before. Maybe others out of politeness and courtesy tolerate it or probably just go along with kisses or hugs, but no one ever rejected it before. It is perfectly understable if some people feel uncomfortable and say no, it does not mean rejection of the one expressing such Biblical principles. On other occasions, for security reasons, important leaders are not allowed to be touched or hugged under any circumstances. Of course that scenario can happen in church gatherings so if not sure, ask if it is alright to do so. 22CULTURALSTUDIES1-jumbo.jpgIn some places female to female hugs and kisses are preferred or handshakes encouraged. But the woman must first extend her hand to a man because the man is not allowed to shake a married women’s hands in some cultures. On the other hand there are countries that see kiss or hugs as prerogative of diplomacy so must be done. In some churches women are only allowed to kiss and hug other women as men kiss and hug the men. In an age of legal homosexuality, lesbian partnerships or marriages the churches in favour has no problems or prefer handshakes. However is common in the workplace to encourage hugging for bonding and a sense of belonging. But how about those people in the offices who do not like to be kissed or bugged publicly at least at awkward moments. You are greeting someone or saying goodbye. Should you give that person a hug? Especially if it’s someone you don’t know well? You do not want to seem intrusive if you hug too soon, but you don’t want to appear overly stiff or too formal so you offer a handshake when a hug is expected. So what should you do? There a few good rules about hugging in our society.article-2148121-133B0FA3000005DC-582_468x309On one hand, Americans are famously informal and forthright. On the other hand, our nation has puritan roots so we are known for needing more personal space than other cultures. How do you strike a balance? Here are some guidelines to start from, many of which come from etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore, author of Poised for Success.

1. Mind body language.

With hugs, as with kisses, another person’s body language will tell you whether he or she is willing to accept a hug or not. Before you go in for that squeeze, pay attention to what the person’s position, movement, and facial expression is telling you. Are the feet pointed toward you or away? Is the person leaning in, or distancing him or herself? What does your gut feeling tell you this person wants? When people offend others with a hug, it’s most often because they just barge right in and don’t stop to get a read on what other person wants. Don’t make that mistake. Children are now being taught to meet and greet properly to learn etiquette. t1larg (1).jpg

2. Ask Permission First.

If you want to hug someone, you think it welcomes you if not sure just ask. “May I give you a hug question indicates both affection, respect so likely appreciated. The only down side to this if people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable saying no. So if getting a negative or uncertain vibe do not even asking the question.

3. The Balance of Power.

A boss hugging an employee is a very different matter from two business associates hugging at the conclusion of a meeting. Be extra reserved about hugging if it can in any way seem like you’re using your power to disrespect another person’s boundaries. This is one reason Joe Biden recently drew so many criticisms for his putting his hands on  a cabinet member’s wife during swearing in ceremony.

4. Consider the occasion.

If you haven’t seen a colleague in a long time, or you’ve just gone through a powerful training or other experience together, or you’re at acelebration, then hugging might well be appropriate. The same may apply if the person in question has just had a piece of very good, or very bad news, or is struggling to deal with a difficult situation. On the other hand, if you routinely see this person and nothing special is going on, then a hug probably isn’t warranted.LXNGDEDJXOCNTOWYIIGFSDIU

5. Avoid mixing hug & non hugs.

You’re greeting a group of people, some of whom you know well and others whom you know only slightly or have just met. Do you hug some but not others? No, Whitmore advises. Shake hands with everyone to be consistent avoid making some feel uncomfortable or left out.

6. Keep it short.

A hug can go from natural to awkward if you keep it going for too long. So make your hugs brief. Whitmore recommends a duration of no more than three seconds.

7. Don’t hug if contagious

The last thing you want to do is give your colleague a cold, or catch one from him or her. So if you’re uncertain about your own health, or the other person seems to be fighting an infection, stick to a handshake at most, although not touching at all is probably safest. You can always say that you’re avoiding touch out of concern that you might spread something you’ve been exposed to if you are really afraid of catching something from other person.kissing-in-costa-rica-2

8. Don’t hug if not clean.

Let’s say you’re meeting on a very hot day, and you’ve gotten sweaty on your walk over from the parking lot. Or you’ve had a workout and returned to work but didn’t have time to shower. Or you’ve been out at a site visit and gotten grimy. In those circumstances, avoid hugging. The last thing you want to do is gross someone out.

9. Err on not hugging.

If you’re not sure whether a hug would be welcome, and you don’t think it’s a good idea to ask, then don’t hug. You’ll almost never offend someone with a handshake.

10. Cease the right moment.

In spite of all these caveats, I’m still a believer in the power of human contact. So if you feel like a hug is warranted and none of the obstacles above apply, I say go for it. I once met a business contact face-to-face for the first time after we’d been working together for several years. I felt like I knew him, and he seemed to feel the same, because at our first meeting, he greeted me with a hug. I was surprised, but happily so. During that brief meeting we talked more about our lives than about business and by the time I left, I had a human relationship to go with the emails and voice on the phone. That hug was a great way to start.