HAVE CONFIDENCE IN GOD

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Confidence in God is inbuilt in the brain to receive information, process, to take an action, store, apply or discard based on relevance. So scientists successfully have mapped parts of brain enhancing positive thinking to enable reinforcing good thoughts. When we think about ourselves positively, we are stimulating parts of our brains involved in reward, motivation, pleasure, says Dr Stacie Grossman Bloom. According to Dr Stacie Grossman Bloom a neuroscientist who has three daughters who also has a successful career at the NYU Langone Medical Center in New York. She has examined the role neuroscience plays in boosting confidence. This is particularly useful to many people who need exactly that, she writes as part of this year’s 100 Women Challenge. As primary carers or nurtures the mother’s confidence rubs on a child in the formative years of growing up. A happy mother is a happy child and happy family so is important to ensure the confidence of the mother is especially enhanced and supported. It takes a whole village to raise a child so the woman’s confidence is essential for the happiness of the spouse and vice versa. Confidence radiates in a person so is felt by those around that person so necessary to promote positive thinking. The world is so full of negative news it may seem impossible to think or to feel positive at any given moment. However confidence in God is the anchor of hope and joy in spite of adversity.images

confidence-in-the-lord2Confidence in God is unshaken by those circumstances of life having assurance God is still on the throne. Confidence is something many people want but do not know how to get. We need to embrace our abilities, our values and have a self-esteem to be successful. Without it, we are less likely to seek promotion, speak up in meetings and rise into leadership positions. This ultimately has enormous impact as various studies after studies shows having confident people at work in position of power correlates with the profitability collaborative environment and improved problem solving. So with some practice, we can use neuroscience to help to be more confident. The most influential or the inspirational names around the world every year are full of confidence. In 2017, challenging people to tackle the 4 biggest problems facing people today like glass ceiling, female illiteracy, harassment in public spaces and sexism in sport. With the help of all hopefully can be coming up with many real-life solutions and so we want you to get involved with your ideas. 8aa3408d68e32286c91a4aeea3380fd6 CONFIDENCE-IN-GOD+copy

Thinking positively we know enhances self-confidence like all other personality traits reside within our brains. Alhough a large part of architecture of the brain is predetermined yet experiences and the choices we make continue to shape us. Over the course of life we acquire new knowledge, abilities by modulating the intricate and malleable connections between the cells and circuits in brains. We can utilise neuroscience to silence our negative inner voices and boost our confidence. These strategies work by engaging “value areas” of the brain. When we think about ourselves more positively, we are able to stimulate the parts of our brains that are involved in reward, motivation, and pleasure. One output of this pattern of neurological activation is we literally feel good when confident, we hold our heads high.Dr. Bloom with her three daughtersDr. Bloom with her three daughters

A healthy positive feeling is contagious so promotes those around us to be more engaged with us, whether its colleagues, our friends, or troops. The reinforcing reactions we see and feel in response to our confidence feedbacks to our brains to encourage more activity. So the first step is to push back against obstacles we know stand in our way being mindful of situations and deciding to be confident. Making complex decision is a multi-step process that taps into our emotions and engages many other parts of the brain.

Train your brain

brainWhen we have made the decision to be confident, we have to start training our brains. The Above brain scan details by DR. GYORGY BUZSAKI, NEUROSCIENCE INSTITUTE, shows the orange structure here as one of billions of neurons that is often stretching out to make connection (synapses) you see in yellow (more than 75,000). Those connections are what we are tweaking when we learn to choose confidence Just like mastering any other talent, gaining self-assurance requires repetition and time. Every time we do or learn something new, our brains adjust to store our new skill or bit of knowledge. This happens because parts of our brains are plastic and synapses that connect our brain cells, called the neurons, to each other can be modified, strengthened, and even newly created to store what we have acquired in this case confidence boost communication. From a scientific perspective people can blame both nature nurture for stacking the odds against them when it comes to valuing themselves. A biological reality is that women secrete different levels of hormones than men so react differently to the same world around us.brainThis brain scan shows “value areas” of the brain. DR PAUL GLIMCHER AND IFAT LEVY’s image caption reveal the areas of the brain in these images that are coloured to show they are activated “value areas” of the brain. Women tend to have a desire to please others, to seek acceptance, inclusion and avoid conflict. The way women respond to a stressful situations is different to men. While the men tend to take more risk when under pressure, the women look for the surer solutions and reach out to connect with others to manage stress. These genetic differences are compounded by the fact that we are socialized differently from the moment we are born and a pink hat is placed upon our heads.

Cartoon shows arrows coming out of woman's head

Boys and girls

As we grow up, young women are not necessarily taught to exhibit any self-confidence, and if we do, we are often criticized for being “snobby” or “stuck-up” or “bitchy” words seldom associated with men. We hear damaging terms like “women’s intuition” suggesting that we aren’t making strategic analyses, but basing our decisions on some ethereal gut feeling but study after study shows women and men equally data driven. And the relentless emphasis placed on how we look erodes our self-image and for most of us, gets worse over time. As a mother of 3 young girls, this resonates every time daughters receive another impossibly-proportioned doll designed for dress up, caregiving, or primping.

Some women in a perceived masculine job are treated with ridicule finding it hard to convince men they are as good and competent as required to do the job even with their identical qualifications trained by exact same Institute. These bias comes in underhand tactics, jokes derogatory of performance and hurtful comments that can affect confidence. It is sometimes deliberately done hoping it drives away unwanted females from an all male exclusive zone. These can be do traumatic for women that it is very necessary to educate men on how to act, behave or talk to women. Especially the women of diversity background raised in serious environments teach respect of the emotional feeling others. Healthy interactions are required in a civilised  society that prides itself on equal rights or equal opportunities. Women are still facing hitting a glass ceiling if they also desire promotion by climbing a broken ladder. It is well-documented we way we raise girls and women has a lasting impact on way they view themselves and their abilities. Negative messages will engender self-doubt and lead us to underestimate ourselves. The result is not only a nearly universal feeling of imposter syndrome but fear of making mistakes, suspicion of underperforming unattainable quest for perfection. This is what is shutting down when making a decision to be more confident.confidence-blog-Jan1-1

Practice, practice, practice

It doesn’t matter what level of self-assurance you start at, the more time and effort you dedicate to practicing being more confident, the faster your brain will change and the faster you’ll master it. So it is important to remove ourselves from situations and people who make you feel bad because confidence largely comes from being in supportive environment. Environment comprises people around us and what we choose to focus our attention on. It is beneficial to concentrate on things that are empowering and to steer clear of exposure to images and contents that make us feel bad about ourselves. The way we choose to hold and to conduct ourselves is another factor. The mental simulations help envisioning ourselves finishing a race, speaking in public to a standing ovation, mastering job, getting a degree can all help build ourselves up. Just as a coach gives encouraging pep talk to the team before taking the field, we can give ourselves a confidence lift. Notably, these practices have an impact on our overall health and wellbeing, serving as buffer to stress, depression, and fostering good mental and physical health. When we choose confidence, we are rewiring our brains and we are able to change ourselves and our world, for the better. So how would you feel if you can become more confident, happier go influence people in a more confident manner. With God all things are possible.

Reblogged and updated

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Dr Stacie Grossman Bloom is Assistant Vice-President, Policy & Administration, and Associate Professor at Department of Neuroscience & Physiology, NYU Langone Health.

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OBSESSIVE SEX PARANOIA

ea7684f55c211010a61930ebddaf297a--health-guru-health-and-wellnessGalatians 5:24 in Bible says those who belong to Christ Jesus must crucify flesh with its passions and desires not to see the world only through sexual lenses. A paranoid personality disorder (PPD) is a mental disorder characterized by fear and situation of recurrent suspicion yet without justification, regarding sexual fidelity of spouse or sexual interaction of friends. This behaviour ruins that a family and damages relationships as the person is hyperalert constantly listening and looking for signs to convince them of obsessive thoughts. Normal sex organ for obsessive paranoia is used for abuse since sex sells society advertises it with products. It is a nightmare for paranoia as it triggers sex as bad memory they are always uptight and angry. With low self-esteem feel worthless so is pushing buttons to hurt people since they cannot have peace or be happy. Advertised sex images causes people to buy products so cars are advertised by seminaked blond women makes passion flow to purchase car advertised using sexual innuendos leading people to buy product. paranoidlargeWhether subtle sophistication, left to imagination or blatant in face sexual approach adverts in society saturate the mind by their endless images on the TV drama, conditions minds to think sexual thoughts. Longterm impact is world is viewed from such sexual perspectives. Freud said that mothers breastfeeding “have sexual intimacy” connotation with their children in his opinion causing oedipus complex. Such theories lead to these modern attitudes towards mothers for not being allowed to breastfeed in public. Breasts are seen as the object of sexual gratification than source of food. Body organ for passing urine is used more that way than used for having sex yet more associated with sex and birth canal in same manner is treated as exclusively a sexual organ. So much negative attitude is projected onto private parts causing terrified mothers not to and touch clean children’s private part. “Private” is exacerbated to include even wiping poo off the organ. Children are victimized by their parent’s memory triggered by sexual abuse so nurseries are under the pressure to clean without making any form of contact with child’s sexual organs. When the special needs under-developed children are not toilet trained yet aware of the names of body parts, they think that a normal cleaning process or dressing them means being “touched.” Reinforces words in the mind of a child under pressure and stressed to ensure they are never “touched” and “abused” as parents were molested in their childhood. This highlights misuse of normal function of organs is turned into a fearful weapon looking out for ‘predators’ on prowl to ‘defile’ children. b605d756fed629476fa88ad3260f7ad6--boderline-personality-disorder-borderline-personality-disorder-symptomsThe news is full of real life stories that creates are sad but the domino counter effect panic atmosphere of suspicion is damaging children. Genuine carers who do a great job are insulted that they are looking for sexual gratification in child while doing normal duty caring for the wet or soiled children. It’s inconceivable to integrity and reputation of genuine carer to stoop low trying to taint them with same brush of their past abuser. It is despicable to project the vile thoughts of guilty conscience as participants onto innocent children due to obsessive fear and paranoia of repeating history. And many innocent people have been hurt and lost valuable friends for support as a result of accusations. It is necessary to train children to have awareness of use of body parts yet it is also important to not overburden them with sexual use of organs. There are billions not interested in sex who do not live their lives only by sexual thoughts and intimate actions.IMG_20171025_154659PERSONALITY_parentingCompulsive behaviour leads to the low affection and harsh treatment thought wrongly as discipline. The majority of case studies show an inbred abuse sadly perpetrators others unaware of. Despite vulgar sexual language seen as normal jokes some people do not feel or want a sexual attraction experience. Rapidly growing website sprawling online hub of AVEN online community asexuals began to coalesce, and with the website came the journalists and academics curious about similar people. Research suggests you might know some asexual people, even if you don’t realise it. It’s estimated around 1percent of the UK population is asexual, even if they don’t define themselves as such. The criteria is never feeling a sexual attraction to anyone at all. A sociologist based at the University of Warwick first conducted research in asexuality in 2009. Finding the work fascinating has been exploring issues related to asexuality ever since. This research was initially concerned with asexual identity, asking how someone might come to identify as asexual, but I soon realised that we can’t understand why the identity “asexual'” has emerged without looking at broader cultural attitudes relating to asexuality identity. Conducted research study into thoughts and feelings of asexuals was surprised how similar the experiences were of the roughly 200 people who took part. They were all different in so many ways, but were united in having been made to feel there was something fundamentally wrong with them because they didn’t experience sexual attraction. They felt “weird” “broken” “fucked up” phrases came up time and time again. So people who genuinely cared about thought it was them that made them feel that way for not wanting sex. Some parents laughed at those who told them was asexual and still, to this day, don’t seem to believe it.IMG_20171025_154444mental-illness-paranoia-ocd-9-728In the end time, 144,000 virgins sealed by God in Israel are men Chosen from 12 tribes who will not experience sex as party of their role in life. Non perverted in mind permeating other minds with fear and negative thoughts of natural body for urine associated as sex object onto the next generations. Obsessives turn pure good thoughts into suspicious obsessive paranoia fearing sexual abuse of innocent people. Sometimes directed to hurt people who truly care about them attacking them of sleeping with partner etc. because as a man thinks so is he. So bad they do not accept responsibility to seek therapy to deal with guilty anger root of defilement plaguing them. Most friends abandoned such people constantly being accused of intimacy with their man. Or accused of ulterior motives for supporting them is draining emotionally so left them. Their toxic controlling behaviour intimidates and frightens people. Their intolerance for frustration makes slaves out of the people who help them. Their behaviour towards children is so appalling jealous of own children’s happiness. Personality disorders are worse if both partners are people with personlity disorders. BIG_5_PDs_Agreeableness

Hypersexualization oversexualisation of young children plants seeds of their sexualization by early sexualization or precocious sexualizisation. Normal hugs for oxytocin or riding horses on back of children is depicted or treated as sexual objects of interaction. An uptight family is explosive so that the healthy normal nonsexual playing body contact seen is frowned upon for fear it may proceed into sexuality inappropriate action. This is imposed through media, marketing or products directed at them encouraging them to think of adult sexual ways. It is necessary to protect young children by awareness, sexy poses, girls dressing up and dancing porn-style to favourite pop star’s adult lyrics. So obsessive paranoia hypersexualization from TV web trigger constant fear being projected onto the innocent people. Hypersexualisation  by the widespread use of Internet, phones and other communication devices make it commonplace. It affects those who already have inclination to be obsessed with sexual thoughts. The irony is often the accuser are the one having sex and having children conditioned but turn around to point accusing fingers at the ones leading their lives with dignity. It is important to seek anger management, talking therapy for 5 years to clear head of the negative effects of bad memories. And keep a journal to write down such thoughts and learn how to deal with the thoughts to overcome them long-term.  

Therapy Needs to Address

Criticism. Stop criticism of partner and others habitually for you are attacking their personality. Over time, this breeds resentment, stop constantly criticising others as it becomes a huge problem. It is not surprising everyone steers clear after a while of taking so much nose up snobbery and derogatory rudeness. No one is perfect in life so stop harassing people with your insecurities and fears projected on them needlessly. Deal with your inner negative thoughts and stop blaming everyone and everything on those who genuinely cares about you.

Contempt. This is makes it impossible to please you so recognise if consistently looking down on partner, is dismissive, constantly rolling eyes at what the other says, mocking them, sarcastic, sneering at partner and others, this means seeing them as “less than.” Contempt closely follows loss of respect so learn the value of mutual respect not be always right.

Defensiveness and Anger If you can’t talk to one another because one or both of you are defensive and angry this is a problem because you won’t be listening to another’s point of view so over time, switch off. Communication is the key to working on relationship problems and without that you cannot get anywhere. Defensiveness leads to “blame” where each person is lashing out in defence: “You did this,” “Yes, but you did that” so indignant everything is a battle. You’re so busy defending yourself nothing gets resolved. Stop attacking people and get a correct perspective on your life. Give each other space and time to talk, listen to sort things out. Life is not a cul-de-sac only about you so learn to give and take respect with consideration for others. 

Cold Shoulder Take stock to think and reflect on your actions retreat to clear head, talk not just block other person. It is good to hear what is being said, either not afraid to deal directly and honestly with people. The person given the cold shoulder trying to talk to the other often is ignored because feels always right. So may try to trigger a row to get the other to react and talk. It results in an awful atmosphere and can eventually make the person being attacked afraid to have any sort of discussion because they are afraid of the silent treatment. This shuts down communication or reconciliation. In extreme cases medical intervention is required if issues are associated with post partum psychosis or any clinical depression. Persistent anger reacting against others has underlying deeper issues of anger projected on others must be dealt in long-term counselling.

 

BIBLE EDUCATION: ORAL SEX

Couple smiling under the covers at home in bedThe Bible talks of sexual conduct within God’s laws, regulations to enjoy loving each other intimately. God created sex so accepts and recommends the mutual sex consent agreement in Bible between married couples in 1 Corinthians 7:5. Its important to read God’s laws on sex in Bible not assume if church recommends oral sex its alright to do so. Often issues of harmful infections of STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) spread by spouse knowingly or unknowingly affects the married partner too. So it is important to discuss diseases transmitted by oral sex because people think it is the safest way to prevent pregnancy. Most people have the Actinomyces species bacteria israelii and bovis in lining of the mouth, throat, digestive tract, urinary tract and in the female genital tract. Practising of oral sex can be infected by contracting it without an immediate effect for years. This can develop into other diseases if the carrier passes it on through mutual sex. Most couples do not necessarily do tests as part of the marriage process. So anyone with the bacteria harmlessly in the body becomes dangerous if a person develops a disease, or if there is damage to the tissue lining causing the bacteria to spread out of normal environment. Actinomyces bacteria are anaerobic, which means they flourish deep inside body tissues where oxygen levels are very low. Bacteria living within deeper tissues are harder to diagnose, and they often take longer to treat. The disease can be triggered when internal body tissues are pierced, for example, by something sharp in the esophagus, or through tooth decay or gum diseaseAs disease progresses, painful abscesses can form and grow in size, usually over a period of months. Some can be severe surrounding bone, muscle penetrated. The infections can be large enough skin breaks open, leaking large amounts of pus. Be safe even if you agree mutually to engage in oral sex use condoms and do not use excuse it creates barriers to prevent natural penetration contact. A lot of couples get throat diseases, host of complex illnesses caused by oral sex.5fc5b207d20602a7d6798a62ad3b25dc

Types of actinomycosis

Actinomycosis can occur in virtually any part of the human body, but certain parts are more commonly affected. Half of all cases affect head, neck area, and the rest occur in areas such as the chest and the gastrointestinal tract. There are four main types:

Orocervicofacial actinomycosis

Orocervicofacial actinomycosis affects the mouth, jaw or neck, and it usually stems from dental problems, often caused by dental decay and poor oral hygiene. Actinomycosis cause abscess  after some dental procedures. Bacteria lives in dental plaque. Trauma to mouth or face also trigger it, including particles that injure mucous membrane. It can develop after some dental procedures. The infection may be obvious at once, or within one to several weeks of the trauma occurring. The person notices a hard, painful swelling in cutaneous or soft tissue, known as “woody” fibrosis, or they may develop an abscess. It is the most common form, and it accounts for 50 percent of all cases.

Thoracic actinomycosis

Thoracic actinomycosis infection can develop in the airways and lungs. It often happens when bacteria from the mouth and throat are unintentionally inhaled and enter the lungs. Symptoms affect lungs to start with but can extend to the area around lungs, chest cavity and vertebrae of the upper trunk. The person experiences weakness, fever, a productive cough or severe weight loss.

Abdominal actinomycosis

Abdominal actinomycosis infection occurs in the abdomen but it can affect other parts of digestive system, from the esophagus to anorectal area. It happens after somes case of appendicitis person develops abscess persistent fever and pain. Actinomyces in abdominal cavity can lead to infection in pericardium sac around the heart, or within the liver or spleen. Sometimes, a secondary pelvic infection may result.1200px-Actinomyces_israelii

Pelvic actinomycosis

Pelvic actinomycosis occurs within the pelvis as infection can spread from the vagina. It used to be thought that the women who use an intrauterine device (IUD) for contraception had the higher chance of developing this infection with extended use, but risk is now estimated to be very low, around 0.001 percent. A gynecological procedure can make it make it likely for women to develop pelvic actinomycosis. The bacteria can cause abscesses in ovaries and fallopian tubes and lead to complications with other organs within the abdomen and pelvis. Actinomycosis rarely affects a central nervous system (CNS). This can happen directly due to neck lesion or face or spread from elsewhere. It can lead to brain abscess causing headaches and neurological symptoms. Other rare type affects skin, bones, usually when infection spreads from deeper tissues.

Actinomycosis symptoms

Actinomycosis can take variety of forms mimicks other infections or neoplasms. It is important to check a private sexual act to see if it is causing health issues as pointed by medical journals referred to. This article informs people to become more aware of sexually related illnesses than can be connected to oral sex, they may not think is affected by oral sex. It good to be in know if sexual activities is contributing to complex health issues. It is vital to remember Actinomycosis as a bacterial infection also spreads through body tissues. Disease features a number of small interlinked abscesses. People have gems on hands even after washing hands. Multitudes of bacteria on hands mixed with bacteria in mouth, throat, digestive tract, vaginal walls is a toxic combination of hybrid gems evolving to complex infections of health problems.

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Symptoms differ according to the type of actinomycosis, but they may include:

  • Swelling and inflammation at the site of the infection
  • Tissue damage and scar tissue
  • Abscesses, or pus-filled lumps
  • Small holes or tunnels in tissue called fistulas that can leak a kind of lumpy pus.

The severity of symptoms depends on area of the body affected by infection. There may be pain and fever with body aches fatigue and generally feeling not well. It is estimated 75 percent to 95 % of actinomycosis lesions and infections involve other bacteria. Actinomycoses does not act alone so infections: group-B streptococcus, E. coli and a range of sexually transmitted infections affect babies at birth. Bible in 1 Corinthians 11:30 says for this cause many are weak and sickly among you and many sleep (die). Profaning of body and Blood of Lord Jesus through sexual immorality as prevalent in Sodom and Gomorrah killed people for their lack of knowledge and understanding of God’s Words. God says HIS PEOPLE perish for their lack of knowledge. Fear of God is beginning of wisdom for preservation into eternal life. A period of abstention every month forces a couple to build a non-sexual bond and sexual one. Helps build couple’s desire for each other making intercourse in the remaining two weeks more special. Gives partners chance to rest not feeling sexually inadequate. So emphasises self-discipline fundamental to high moral value sexual drive.

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Diagnosis and treatment

Laboratory investigations to diagnose actinomycosis include microscopic examination of a culture of sputum or pus, or tissue taken in a biopsy. Pus or tissue typically contain yellow sulfur granules. Actinomycosis can be chronic condition so long-term treatment with antibiotics is common. Patients may need treatment ranging from 6 weeks to 12 months. In some cases, surgery is performed to drain an abscess or to remove an infected part, after which a 3-month course of antibiotics may be needed to resolve problem. To decrease the chance of developing actinomycosis, people should avoid any alcohol abuse, maintain good health and keep chronic medical conditions under control and practice good dental hygiene. Countries with good access to antibiotics or dental services, the incidence of actinomycosis tends to be lower. Increasingly young people told “oral sex is not really sex,” so promoted safe no risk pregnancy no risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease alternative to intercourse. The Bible in Leviticus 18 gives a long list of the sexual dos and don’ts acceptable to God. As the creator and originator of sex God has very high interest in body His Holy temple so gives instructions in Bible. Ephesians 5:3 says to believers, among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or impurity because these are improper for God’s Holy people.” Bible says “immorality” is forms sexual contact outside marriage. In Hebrews 13:4 the “marriage bed” is pure and undefiled according to Bible, sex is to be reserved for only marriage. Oral sex is sin if done before or outside marriage as the contraception method. Natural rhythm based on the monthly cycle of a woman is the safest method. A few days of 3-5 days before or after her ovulation the sperm can still live on for gestation. The rest of the month is free for natural safe sex. Discipline and self control is required to check her body temperature measured by thermometer to signal safest days for intercourse. The problem is lack of alertness to record a monthly cycle. Impulsive sex fuelled by drugs or alcohol can blur memory. It is necessary to be in tune with one’s body fully so to know exact days of ovulation of peak time for conception. The cervix accompanied by mucous helps to know exact day of ovulation. And men must be trained to have mutual agreement as Bible requires. Sex on demand anytime because you are his wife with threats to seek comfort elsewhere lacks accurate knowledge. God wants a couple to enjoy intimacy and be safe as well. Be careful if pastors and ministers approve of oral sex because it is your body that suffers  consequences of a reckless behaviour.intimacy4.jpgIs oral sex a sin within a marriage?

Christian married couples ask question and Bible disallows oral sex between a husband and wife or any sexual activity involving other people like swapping, threesomes, etc. or lusting after another person and pornography. So restrictions principle of “mutual consent” applies to 1 Corinthians 7:5 text requiring couples to abstain from frequency by “mutual consent” within marriage. This agrees perfectly with rhythm method as God killed Onan for wasting precious seed in the Bible. To fully agree between wife and husband it is good to space sex and enjoy comforting embraces. Depending on fasting total abstinence by spouses is highly recommended. So do not force or coerce into oral sex in marriage in the spirit of good mutual consent. There is a biblical case for declaring coercion sin. It can lead to the complex health issues of health caused by oral sex. Marriage or sex is God’s gift for affection intimacy so moral duty for practising believers to please God in the bedroom. So biblically acceptable for sexual intercourse for a married couple to follow joy of rhythm method. God is not wicked wizard of the West denying pleasure within confines of marriage. It is to ensure that sexual interaction must not cause  curses of the disease of Bible in Deuteronomy 28 to come upon those disobeying God’s Commands. Oral sex is not free from sin by mutual consent if a partner becomes infected with diseases. This costs high medical insurance premiums and life savings to treat lifetime consequence of fleeting moments of passion. So people must know the connection between oral sex and their lifestyle choices. Oral sex is not as “safe” as promoted alternative sexual intercourse, sexually transmitted diseases published by medical journals shows it is definitely not as safe as it is often suggested. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, HIV/AIDS, and other STDs can be transmitted through oral sex. So be aware and take great care of your Holy precious Temple if you choose to please God.  In some cultures it is a taboo for a reason because infection spreads to the innocent victims.How-is-it-weve-managed-to-stay-together-Christ-1024x682STORY TO ALL MEN EVERYWHERE:

A man who lived abroad now 64 years old lived in the US for 35 years with his family. Throughout life with family did live ‘happily.’ Had a wonderful wife by his side but took her for granted, didn’t pay much attention to her always had a vision of going back to others. So had affairs she knew and made her feel very sad but never apologised only told to get over it as not first man to be unfaithful. She was depressed for weeks eventually recovers but said she was unhappy. He never went on family holidays with his family all the years. Occasionally travels alone and sleeps with ex girlfriends or a short-term girlfriends to fulfil fantasy, on return wife wasn’t attractive to him for weeks. So effected sex life not great as always thinking of other women. He left his wife and family, thinking grass is greener for a ‘better life’ elsewhere. It was trying to settle alone on retirement idea left family to set up business. They protested but went against wife’s word and daughter stopped talking to him but thought life led without them was best. It seemed plan worked so took all his retirement money and selfishly left wife and daughter, hoping can cope as she’s still working. Promised will be visiting the US often. It was exciting at first and had a beautiful girlfriend who flattered him. Within a year all his money was finished while business was not fully set up, confronted with too many set backs. Hit with brain tumour, prostate cancer had to come to US again for treatment. The wife and daughter did well to take care of him but did not feel love passion from them. Was very depressed because he needed them but realised wife and daughter moved on emotionally having a good life. Wife reinvented herself, lost weight, dressed smarter and suspecting seeing someone because she too happy.Making_the_Hard_Choice-4Within a year in America his health was better so returned to complete so-called business. Went back but sad without wife beside him as she has moved on emotionally after years of neglect. So impotent after cancer and not willing to embarrass himself has no woman so he is very lonely. If he was loyal to his wife and made her happy in marriage his story will be different. Please young men out there, read this story to avoid stupid mistakes he made. His life is in an utter state of confusion and cannot even discuss anything with wife. Now depressed and lonely, husbands make future plans with your wives, stay faithful and love her fully and make her feel special because you have only one chance and one life. Do things so your wife will bless you. Be careful of your plans of setting up businesses back in your old age. It is often fantasy so does not work. All the money goes down the drain. And spoken to so many men stuck in the rut with the same mistake. He had a good life in America but failed to see it. So not saying do not come back to where you are from. Men should not do this alone enjoy your life and wife as life is too short. The cancer spread and has months to live so advised not to bother going back to America because nothing can be done. His wife and daughter are coming to see him before his end and demise. Know the Bible in Matthew 28:18-20 says that Jesus came and said, “All Power and Authority in heaven and earth id given to me. So go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold I am with you always to the end of the age. Amen

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5 FREE GIFTS FOR SPOUSES

wife1. Giving hugs is essential to keep love flame alive so give your spouse hugs daily. Hugs are fast disappearing in marriages today. It has been researched hugging is one of the emotional needs of all human being. It is scarcity of spousal hug that makes many men hug ladies not their wives indiscriminately. Many women crave for hugs and they allow every Tom Dick and Harry to hug them because their husbands are not giving them hugs. In the morning or at night, let no day pass without hugging your spouse. It is a valuable you must give your spouse. It could be welcoming hug, a goodbye hug, appreciation hug, affirmative hug. Hugging is non-verbal means of communication so use it well. Do not let your husband or wife crave hug from strangers when you are alive. Hug passionately! Hug romantically. A married couple is generous to all except their spouses​. These 5 things you should give your spouse daily. These are not weekly, monthly, annual giving. They are things you must give spouse daily. Let us see them. Give your spouse a touch: One of the ways to bond with spouse is touch of encouragement, affirmation touch, healing touch, apology touch and sexual intimacy touch. Study your partners and know what touch to give at a particular time. If you want God to touch your marriage, touch your spouse. Do not let day without kissing your partner.

83f6ebfa0be41f0f20e5dd93e6e1adaabacfaad82. Give your spouse a smile: God smiles on a home when couples smile at each other. A smile is a way of telling your spouse, ‘You delight me’, ‘Your presence amuses me,’ ‘I am pleased with you’. Frowning at your spouse is not a thing that should last a whole day. One of the way to know your marriage is cold is when you are not SMILING with each other. Smile. It is one of the best gifts you can give your spouse in a day. I love to smile a lot and I love to see my Queen smile. I do not like people who are not generous with their smile. It is free. You do not need to pay for smiles. Just relax your muscles and smile. Couples, smile, keep smiling! To prevent your marriage going cold keep smiling with spouse.Picture-23. Give your spouse a call/ chat: Some people can chat with all the contacts on their phones & all the friends on their friends list on Facebook. But they never chat or call their spouse throughout​ the day. Chatting or calling your spouse in a day at work is a way of saying, ‘Dear, despite my busy schedule, I have you in mind. I am thinking about you’. Make sure you send a chat, or give a call to your spouse today. Make it a daily thing. Nobody is tired of receiving a caring chat or a call from someone they love.

publication_249679_img54c52dafa3b0e7fb78709e5ce3a9b394.png4: Give your spouse the gift of Peace of mind. A home is the end-point of every thing we do daily. Let me explain it this way. If a doctor you cannot sleep in the hospital all the days of your life. You will need to come home. If you are an engineer, you cannot sleep in the site all days. If a lawyer you cannot sleep in the bar all days. As a pastor, you cannot be in the Church 24/7. We all must go back home. Home is the end point. So, if your spouse is excited to come home, it must be a peaceful home. So stop the nagging, fighting, insulting, abuse, threatening, behaviour and humiliating your spouse. Give him rest of mind. Give your wife rest of mind. Be the head of your wife not the headache of your wife. Madam, be wife and not ‘knife’ to your husband. Blessed are the couples that give each other peace of mind daily! Give your spouse Space. As much as you need to bond with spouse together for intimacy communication, affection, planning, etc. you need to give your spouse space. So make time for couple’s prayers, time for couples bonding, time for own personal prayer, personal meditation, personal rest, personal planing, etc. Do not be too close for comfort to choke your spouse. Do not be over possessive and also over demanding to spouse. Stop unnecessary policing and monitoring. Give spouse a space they need when they need it.4718801-friday-prayer-quotes5: Give your spouse prayer no matter how wealthy or highly connected you are, there are things you can not do for your spouse. You are limited. One of the ways to show love to your spouse is to commit him/her to the unlimited God. Say word of prayer for your spouse daily. Other things may fail and may not work. But no force withstands power of prayer. You cannot heal your spouse, only God can heal him/her. You cannot lengthen the days of your spouse. Only God can do that. You cannot save your spouse. You cannot take away addiction and evil habits from your spouse , only God can do that for him/her. Pray to God. Mention name of your husband / wife to God. As a man, you are the priest of your family, lay your hands on your wife or hold her hands and say a word of prayer to her life. It is a major gift couples have to give each other. Blessed is the wife whose husband gives a gift of prayer daily and vice versa. Pray for your spouse if you do not want him/her to become a prey in the hand of devil. All these 5 things you must give your spouse daily are very easy, simple, free and important. Put them on your ‘to-do-list’. Do not forget to give it. Remember, givers never lack any good thing. If you give your spouse all these, I can assure you that, there is a high assurance that you will get it back in return to make your joy full. Love your marriage as joy of your family is your priority. Bless all family members and thank God daily in Jesus Name through the Holy Spirit.

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© Ebenezer Diyaolu

WOMEN & MEN FRIENDSHIPS

1033.gifWomen have intense close friendships, men tend not to have that according to Professor Dunbar, the Psychologist Professor at Oxford University. Professor Dunbar found women view best friend relationships in between sisters and soul mates. Men tend to see theirs purely in terms of the convenience. He came to this conclusion by exploring how people’s friendship circles changed when they left school for university. So what determined original friendships or whether they survived long-term? Did women make effort to talk more to each other on the phone as explored? And did “talking have any absolute effects on mens’ relationships at all? For men it was doing stuff together that held close friendships together. Doing activities like going to a football match or the pub for a drink, playing five a side was more meaningful to men. They made effort if was such an activity.” He looked at the differences between the sexes and said women clearly have much more intense close friendships than men. Men tend not to have that sort of relationship but they tend to have a group of four men they do such stuff with. So relationship is much more casual. With men it is out of sight out of mind. They just find four more guys to go drinking with.”The cast of Channel 4's university-themed sitcom Fresh Meat The cast of Channel 4’s university-themed sitcom Fresh Meat. This will be familiar to any woman who has had both the pleasure and disappointment of close male friend particularly in their twenties and thirties. At first, things are wonderful. Life is full of great catch ups, and laughter over pints of beer. They listen to your woes and you help them with their woman problems. It is the friendship neither knew needed. Only then, something changes. They start a new relationship. They move to a new postcode really not very far. They get a new job with a ready-made social life. They get a new flatmate. Whatever the change they suddenly have the new set of replacement ready and can’t seem to find the time to meet you for that coffee. You, naively, keep trying. You call them, you send jokey pictures and do exactly what you will do if that was a girlfriend growing distant: bombard her with the attention you wish she was showing you. Except with a male friend, it just does not work. Whether it is nature or nurture, most men simply do not view friendships in the same way as women. Gender is hardly the issue it is practical problem of how much time and effort they put into a platonic relationship. As the study says, there’s always another drinking buddy around the corner. Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with BenefitsJustin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with Benefits. Men reading this may feel unfairly judged. So I put it to a colleague and current male friend let’s be honest, the second we stop sharing a desk, I will never hear from him again. “Some of my best friends are women,” he says vaguely. When I ask if the effort he made with friends is comparable to that his girlfriend makes with hers, he begrudgingly accepts that he could not spend hours on the phone with his pals of either gender. He lost count of the male friends who have disappeared over the years. Often, it coincides with the arrival of a new girlfriend. But contrary to popular interpretation, it is rarely to do with that new girlfriend’s jealousy. As one former male friend charmingly told me: “I have to hear all my girlfriend’s emotional stresses now. I don’t have time for yours.” With male mates like that it is probably no surprise all efforts go into his female friendships. And now academics backed my choice.tmg-article_default_mobile

Steps To recover friends

  • Stop pre-empting: Sometimes we are anxious when we do not need to be and it creates conflicts with friends in our heads. Your friend may be sitting thinking the same thing; not think anything is wrong.
  • Do not be consumed by guilt: Often you feel guilty or embarrassed you did not make contact for a while. This is what is getting in the way, try not to hold onto these feelings.
  • Face conflicts that arise: If your friendships is worthwhile you should be willing to fix them, ask what has gone wrong, what their position may be to work  solution.
  • Set objectives: Once you have discussed the issues don’t let them drag on, make a decision to move forward and set practical ways of keeping in touch and letting the other know you care.
  • Find positive aspects: Friendship may take on a different form with distance allows space to see things objectively. You may be able to help each other more, to make use of the distance when you can.