Modern food choices are influenced by forces out of control. An average person makes over 200 food-related decisions each day – but environmental forces can cause us to overeat by taking advantage of biological, psychological, and social and economic vulnerabilities. And so following a healthy diet can be hard. From deciding when and what to eat to how much food you actually put on your plate, the average person makes decisions each day, most of which are automatic. These automatic choices dubbed mindless eating by some experts happen when we eat and drink without consciously considering what kind of or how much food to consume. We’ll keep eating from a bowl of chips past the point of fullness simply because they’re in front of us. Even the most disciplined consumers are not fully in control of what they eat. Studies have shown that decisions such as when, what and how much to eat are often shaped by subtle forces outside of our awareness or direct control. These environmental forces can cause us to overeat taking advantage of biological, psychological, and social and economic vulnerabilities. This helps explain why 2 billion people worldwide overweight or obese, and why no country has yet been able to reverse their obesity epidemic. There’s hope. Research shed light on the major forces that encourage overeating, including biological, psychological, social, and economic. Now that we know more about them, we are in a better position to intervene.


Why do humans tend to crave items like chocolate over salad? Taste preferences such as a “sweet tooth” are innate to human biology, and they can change over the course of our lives. Children, for example, have a stronger preference for sweet foods than adults do. Modern food environment introduced an influx of processed foods filled with sugar, fat, salt, flavor enhancers, food additives, caffeine and so on. These ingredients are manipulated to try to maximize our biological enjoyment and satisfy those innate taste preferences. For instance, research finding says a certain highly palatable food like chocolate milkshake trigger brain responses like people’s reactions to addictive substances, giving new meaning to idea of ‘sugar high’. But processed foods are frequently stripped of components such as water, fiber and protein that cause us to feel full, making it difficult for the body to regulate food intake and maintain weight.


In addition to biological enjoyment of highly processed foods, there’s a lot to love about them psychologically. From McDonald’s Happy Meals toys to Coca-Cola’s global “Open Happiness” special marketing campaign, examples abound of the link between food and pleasure. Companies spend billions of the dollars used in marketing foods to create image of strong, positive association with their products. One study found that children actually think same food tastes better adorned with a cartoon character like Dora the Explorer or Shrek. There are lots of small ways our environment can promote overeating. People eat more when served larger portions, regardless of how hungry they are. Unhealthy foods are very noticeable and desired because they are everywhere in schools, restaurants, convenience stores, or the supermarkets and vending machines. They’ve even infiltrated stores selling office supplies and home goods.

The places where we make many of our food decisions can be overwhelming for busy consumers with 40,000 different products in a typical supermarket), and most psychological cues in environment signal us to eat more not less. Examples are large portion sizes, food prices, the placement of food items in stores and promotional strategies to market foods affect dietary decisions on daily basis. Consider portion size alone: Drinking Coca-Cola in 1950s meant consuming a 6.5-ounce glass; today 7-Eleven Double Gulp is roughly 10 times that size and contains nearly 800 calories. But for food out of sight means out of mind. Google provides free snack foods for employees, and found that employees were eating too many M&Ms. So they placed the M&Ms in opaque containers and made healthier snacks more visible. Simply placing M&Ms out of sight from 2,000 employees in the New York office meant they consumed 3.1 million fewer calories in just seven weeks.


Unhealthy foods are often inexpensive, making them especially appealing to those on a tight budget. But fast food and ready-to-eat convenience store items are also widely available and quicker and easier to prepare than home-cooked meals, which makes busy consumers vulnerable to overeating them. Food companies also engage in targeted efforts to market to certain groups. For example, recent reports have shown that soda companies are increasing their spending in the US on targeting black and Hispanic youth, a concerning strategy as these groups have greater rates of obesity. The good news is public discourse about obesity and policy-making is starting to reflect science. The public and policymakers are realizing that health issues like obesity and its related chronic diseases are not just about people’s individual food decisions. People are prone to over-consume unhealthy foods because our current food environments exploit biological, psychological, and social and economic vulnerabilities, undermining people’s ability, personal responsibility for their food choices. Because weight loss programs lead to limited weight loss difficult to maintain, bolder efforts are needed to prevent overweight and obesity in the first place. Fortunately, policy-level interventions introduced. In US, by Food and Drug Administration will require large chain restaurants to list calorie content on food menus in 2016 and it has proposed adding a Daily Value for Added Sugars on food labels to limit consumption.

US Food and Drug Administration check large chain restaurant’s calorie list of food menus since 2016. Although the research or influence of calorie label and food choice mixed current evidence suggests that calorie labeling promotes lower calorie food choices for some consumers, some of the time, at some restaurants. The FDA has also taken action to remove harmful trans fats which increase risk of heart disease from processed foods. The US, United Kingdom, Peru, Uruguay and Costa Rica enacted policies to remove “junk food” from public schools out of sight out of mind. UK imposed sugar tax to help reduce sugar content levels in food and drinks. And Mexico recently enacted a one peso (8 cents) per liter tax on sugar-sweetened beverages to curb obesity epidemic. Berkeley, California passed a US$0.01 per ounce excise tax on sugar-sweetened beverages in 2014 and expects to generate $1.2 million from this year.Chile and Peru banned toys in Happy Meals. McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King all dropped soft drinks from their children’s menus. These are important steps in tackling obesity epidemic, and more research is needed for us to understand which interventions will work best. Innovative policies are needed to change what and how much we eat, alongside the efforts by food industry to make healthier life choices easier yet food more desirable.


Christina Roberto, Assistant Professor of Social and Behavioral Sciences and Nutrition, University of Pennsylvaniaand Mary Gorski, PhD Student, Health Policy, Harvard University

This article was originally published on The Conversation. Read the original article.



Women-Do-that-Cause-Men-to-LeaveWhy does a man leave his wife and his children for another woman? An advice column in a local paper recently had a poignant letter, timed close to Father’s Day. It alluded to other several previous columns. The first consisted of letters from children whose fathers who left families for another woman. Another had been from a woman who wanted to know why her husband had sought a one-night sexual tryst with another woman and had asked how a decent, educated man who supposedly loved his wife could do such an “unspeakable” thing. I hadn’t seen previous columns but I felt the pain and bewilderment from this letter. A woman wanted to know whether men had written to tell their stories. The writer said she hoped such letters would help her understand her own abandonment. Let me as a social psychologist take a stab at trying to imagine what happens inside some of these men, to prompt them to turn to other women. I want to make very clear that none of this is designed to excuse or justify immoral acts. This is intended as an exercise in social science, not moralizing at all. Indeed, as I wrote in my book Evil: Inside Human Violence and Cruelty, if we want to understand people who do things we disapprove, it is essential to set aside disapproval and moral judgments temporarily, in order to try to see how things look to them.jacobs-coffee-dad-is-leaving-small-17876

What do we know about such men? Not much but apparently its quite common. Society condemns them without much effort to understand or accommodate them. It doesn’t help advice columns, relationship authorities, and moral discourse are dominated by women. It is hard to understand the perpetrators from the victim’s perspective. Men who leave wives and children for another partner present a difficult problem for society. Let us suspend moralizing for a moment to understand them. Possibly some of them are simply immature and irresponsible and give not a thought or care to wife and little ones left behind. More likely many of these men agonize and suffer over the loss of their family. Society has not made it easy for the men who desire more sex. Marriage demand that desires only his wife. Standing at the altar reciting her wedding vows, the bride may be utterly beautiful and sexy and desirable, and perhaps he thinks he can desire only her forever. But what happens? She ages, gains weight, maybe loses interest in sex. Research has found that most wives are satisfied with the amount of sex in their marriage, while most husbands wish for substantially more than they get. The implication is that for many men, marriage means years and years of sexual frustration.How-a-stressful-marriage-can-lead-to-depression

The man is told to respect wife’s wishes. When she does not want sex, he should not push her to engage in it. Although it sounds reasonable and decent but given well documented fact women want sex less frequently than men is condemned to countless nights of helpless wishes for sex. And that’s assuming he desires her. What is he supposed to feel when she becomes less attractive to him? We have all heard endless and sympathetic discussions about how hard it is for women to see beautiful female models depicted in the media, because ordinary women feel they cannot live up to those idealized images. What about how hard those same images are on men? How are they supposed to continue desiring only their wives when they constantly see countless images of slim, gorgeous women all around? Mandatory divorce laws pull men apart from their families. If man finds a woman for sex with him and wants to form relationship, society puts obstacles in his path. He is told he cannot marry the new woman unless he divorces his previous wife first. A wife at a time, that’s the rule: If you want a new one, you must first get rid of the previous one. There is some ambiguity as to whether the monogamy rule was designed for the benefit of men or of women, but regardless of its intent, its function is to force many men to choose between sex and family. We should not be surprised though not approve some men choose sex. Meanwhile, what’s to hold them back? It is hard personally to imagine a man who does not love his children deeply, though I suspect such men do exist. Intuitively, my powers of empathy fail to make the case of a man casually abandoning his children. But I could imagine him deciding to leave them anyway, if in grip of passionate love and sexual desire for someone other than his wife, and when he sees society requires him to leave his family in order to experience that love and sex.1297970059685_ORIGINAL

Consider how hard alternative choice must be for some men. Imagine a man whose wife long ago stopped wanting to have sex with him most of the time. And his desire for her diminished as well, as she stopped flirting with him or started nagging or simply added pounds and wrinkles with the years. He has found someone new, with whom the sex is great and the emotional connection is blossoming into love. We as a society ask him to turn his back on this promise of love and sex, out of obligation to his wife and children. He thinks he sees the opportunity to have great sex every day with the new woman (it is often thus in the beginning, and may well have been that way long ago with his wife), and we ask him to give that up forever. Some wives do not allow their husbands to watch porn or masturbate so choosing to stay with his family means giving up most or all sexual pleasure for the rest of his life. A man who gives up love and sex to remain with family might think he deserves credit and appreciation for this difficult choice and sacrifice. Sadly, he is not likely to get it in many cases. If he had an affair, he may be made to feel guilty for having it, rather than made to feel noble for electing to stay with his family in the end. I don’t know whether the men think of this when they are pondering whether to stay or leave, but surely some must expect their wives will be inducing guilt more than their lovers, for that is almost certainly what is happening right during period when he is deciding. His wife may bring up the affair in future years, and he will always have to suffer the guilt over it. Or at least he may anticipate this even if it is not true. What about fatherhood? What society, including psychology, told him about it? This is part of the tragedy. Society wants men to accept obligations of fatherhood but are not respected for doing so. In media, fathers are mostly portrayed as clueless, hapless buffoons or, occasionally, violent abusers. Social policy and social science have affirmed for decades it is perfectly fine a woman raises children without husband, father.Mommy-Dear-Esq.jpg

Possibly message was initially intended to encourage and support women who found themselves in a widow or single-parent situation, but men have all heard message fathers are unnecessary. If an honest open-minded look is taken at the social science publications on fathers, you can find plenty of support for the view there is no need to stay, children of single mothers do just fine, departed father must continue to send money. So other views here and there vary but society rushed to remove the stigma of single motherhood plenty of confident reporting of findings says fatherlessness is not a handicap if children do well too. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying I approve of men abandoning families. Moral judgments are not implied here. The goal is to try to imagine what could prompt a man to choose to leave his family. Perhaps, then, we can begin to understand this supposedly mysterious sort of man who although “supposedly” loving his wife can desire sex with another woman and might even at some point decide to leave wife and child for her. Consider his decision options. The option of having a bit of extra sex and remaining with his family is perhaps not available to him, though might be what he most wants. Society does not approve his wife not tolerate. The law requires him to choose. I am reminded of a character in a television skit I saw as impressionable teenager. The man said marriage was harder than being in the army, because army gave him a furlough now and then. That’s all he wanted. “I will come back,” he said. I always came back from furlough.”working-mom-with-kid

On the one side, he sees sex and love. Society extols love as one of the highest good things. Sex may not enjoy quite as much official cultural prestige, but he doesn’t need culture to tell him to want sex. He already wants it from his core. The downside of this choice is that he has to leave his wife and children. But remember, he has been told over and over that they do not really need him and will be OK without him. Looking around, it seems, everybody’s doing it. On the other side, he can stay with his family. He can cling to his role of father, which society disrespects. It is a familiar life that he knows well and may or may not find pleasant. It means giving up sex for the most part, perhaps almost a de facto vow of celibacy. Certainly alliance with other woman will not endear him to his wife or made her seem sexually desirable to him. He will be reminded of his affair and made to feel guilty on future occasions. Sad to say, this choice, which the culture would prefer him to make, may appear to him as being a sucker. Again, I’m not moralizing, just trying to understand. But when you look at it from his point of view, we should perhaps not be surprised that some men opt for change. It’s worth adding that men who leave their families are often sorry later. The relationship with the new woman may follow the same pattern, with great sex and passion at first, but less over time. Perhaps the man finds himself in the same position he was in with his previous wife. He thought it would be great forever, but often things do not go that way. One can see it as stupid or tragic that he causes suffering in the pursuit of happiness but the happiness eventually eludes him again. Still, at the time he is making the choice, it is his expectation that is decisive, even if the expectation may turn out to be wrong.

Originally Published in Psychology Today by Roy Baumiers


Mother son relationship is profound extending into lifetime adulthood and beyond into eternity. Here re some tips on how to develop and nurture healthy, strong relationship with your son! As a mother you’re always getting advice on how to raise your kids. If you have a son, you might be warned against coddling him and told to “cut the apron strings.” But what does it really mean to have a good mother-son relationship? Sure, you don’t want to be one of those moms who hovers and panics at the site of tears or a small cut, but you want your little boy to know you will always be there for him. Here are some tips on how to build and maintain a healthy, strong relationship with your son.

How Can You Build a Strong Bond?
Here are five steps you can take to develop a healthy relationship with your little boy:

  1. Teach Your Son Important Life Skills
    It’s important for you to teach your child how to grow into an independent adult. Perhaps your son can cook and clean with you every once in a while, or maybe you can help him sew the eye back onto his favorite stuffed animal. Not only will this allow you to bond in a unique way, but it will help your son gain confidence. He’ll be sure to thank you when he has to teach his college roommate how to do laundry.
  2. Spend Quality Time Together Doing the Things He Loves
    Whether your son loves to play video games, build with Legos or go bike riding, make an effort to do his favorite things together. He’ll appreciate the fact that you took an interest in his interests!
  3. Help Him Build Strong Relationships With Others
    Your son’s relationship with you will have a major impact on his relationships with all the other important people in his life. Nurture his relationship with his father, encourage friendships with boys and girls, schedule time for grandparents and older relatives and provide opportunities for mentors. Here are some tips on How to Nurture the Dad-Bond.
  4. Respect and Trust Each Other
    Your relationship with your little boy will play a major role in his emotional development. By forming a bond built upon mutual trust and respect, you can teach your son to also respect himself, as well as others.
  5. Be Human
    By being open about your mistakes and downfalls, you can reinforce the idea that no one’s perfect. This will help your son feel more comfortable in his own skin.

Can You Nurture This Relationship Over Time?
Like all mothers, you will encounter lots of trials and tribulations during your parenting journey. But by continuing to build and nurture your relationship with your son, you can handle any obstacles that come your way together. Here are four steps you should take to maintain a strong bond:

  1. Continue to Make Time to Talk One-on-One
    Be honest with your son as much as you staying age appropriate. And be sure to listen and really listen when he talks to you. It’s important that he knows he can come to you with his problems and concerns.
  2. Build Up Independence
    As your child gets older, you need to learn when to let go and allow him to take on the world on his own. Every kid needs a chance to make his own mistakes and learn life lessons.
  3. Know When to Stay Out of It
    When it comes to certain topics, like relationships, be careful that you don’t come off as overbearing. If you give too many opinions or unwanted advice, you risk the possibility that your son will feel the urge to rebel against you. But if he comes to you in this situation, be sure to be as tactful as possible. Try to remember that anyone your son cares for must have some redeeming qualities, and it’s your job to try to see the good he sees in his significant other.
  4. Avoid Battle of Wills (Especially During the Teenage Years)
    There’s no one more hardheaded than a teenage boy who’s determined to have his way. But that doesn’t mean you should let your son walk all over you. Just do your best to avoid getting into arguments or yelling matches, as they are never the best solution. Instead, try to have levelheaded conversations in which each person listens to the other’s point of view. Lay out why and how you came to a decision that may have upset him, but feel confident that you made the right call. With a balance of freedom, boundaries, rules and independence, you’ll show your son that you care for his safety but respect his ability to make some decisions for himself.

Do you have more tips on how to foster a healthy mother-son relationship? Tell us in the comments below!

Kit Arbuckle writes for numerous publications specializing on topics such as parenting, health and education. She has two teenage sons that inspire her every day.


article-2071835-0F1BBF8E00000578-716_634x422In Romans 16:16 in the Bible Paul wrote in New Testament commanding believers to make contact or touch others with a warm smile, hand-clasp and a friendly hug. Paul encouraged the congregation and church members to give each other a hug, a touch as a sign of unity to greet each other with a holy kiss and hugs. And speak through the Psalms as people quote Shakespeare to share favourite lines in literature. The Pentecostals often greet each other with kisses and hugs. Visitors are welcomed this way so if the new members are not used to such a way of greeting they can feel innaudated and intimidated by the zealous members embracing or kissing them if not used to an intimate way of expressing agape love. Recently, in the church a female pastor rushed towards a new male visitor and proceeded to try to hug him as she does for many years. But the new member raised both his hands to indicate, ‘do not touch me or come too close.’ It surprised everyone as it had never happened before. Maybe others out of politeness and courtesy tolerate it or probably just go along with kisses or hugs, but no one ever rejected it before. It is perfectly understable if some people feel uncomfortable and say no, it does not mean rejection of the one expressing such Biblical principles. On other occasions, for security reasons, important leaders are not allowed to be touched or hugged under any circumstances. Of course that scenario can happen in church gatherings so if not sure, ask if it is alright to do so. 22CULTURALSTUDIES1-jumbo.jpgIn some places female to female hugs and kisses are preferred or handshakes encouraged. But the woman must first extend her hand to a man because the man is not allowed to shake a married women’s hands in some cultures. On the other hand there are countries that see kiss or hugs as prerogative of diplomacy so must be done. In some churches women are only allowed to kiss and hug other women as men kiss and hug the men. In an age of legal homosexuality, lesbian partnerships or marriages the churches in favour has no problems or prefer handshakes. However is common in the workplace to encourage hugging for bonding and a sense of belonging. But how about those people in the offices who do not like to be kissed or bugged publicly at least at awkward moments. You are greeting someone or saying goodbye. Should you give that person a hug? Especially if it’s someone you don’t know well? You do not want to seem intrusive if you hug too soon, but you don’t want to appear overly stiff or too formal so you offer a handshake when a hug is expected. So what should you do? There a few good rules about hugging in our society.article-2148121-133B0FA3000005DC-582_468x309On one hand, Americans are famously informal and forthright. On the other hand, our nation has puritan roots so we are known for needing more personal space than other cultures. How do you strike a balance? Here are some guidelines to start from, many of which come from etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore, author of Poised for Success.

1. Mind body language.

With hugs, as with kisses, another person’s body language will tell you whether he or she is willing to accept a hug or not. Before you go in for that squeeze, pay attention to what the person’s position, movement, and facial expression is telling you. Are the feet pointed toward you or away? Is the person leaning in, or distancing him or herself? What does your gut feeling tell you this person wants? When people offend others with a hug, it’s most often because they just barge right in and don’t stop to get a read on what other person wants. Don’t make that mistake. Children are now being taught to meet and greet properly to learn etiquette. t1larg (1).jpg

2. Ask Permission First.

If you want to hug someone, you think it welcomes you if not sure just ask. “May I give you a hug question indicates both affection, respect so likely appreciated. The only down side to this if people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable saying no. So if getting a negative or uncertain vibe do not even asking the question.

3. The Balance of Power.

A boss hugging an employee is a very different matter from two business associates hugging at the conclusion of a meeting. Be extra reserved about hugging if it can in any way seem like you’re using your power to disrespect another person’s boundaries. This is one reason Joe Biden recently drew so many criticisms for his putting his hands on  a cabinet member’s wife during swearing in ceremony.

4. Consider the occasion.

If you haven’t seen a colleague in a long time, or you’ve just gone through a powerful training or other experience together, or you’re at acelebration, then hugging might well be appropriate. The same may apply if the person in question has just had a piece of very good, or very bad news, or is struggling to deal with a difficult situation. On the other hand, if you routinely see this person and nothing special is going on, then a hug probably isn’t warranted.LXNGDEDJXOCNTOWYIIGFSDIU

5. Avoid mixing hug & non hugs.

You’re greeting a group of people, some of whom you know well and others whom you know only slightly or have just met. Do you hug some but not others? No, Whitmore advises. Shake hands with everyone to be consistent avoid making some feel uncomfortable or left out.

6. Keep it short.

A hug can go from natural to awkward if you keep it going for too long. So make your hugs brief. Whitmore recommends a duration of no more than three seconds.

7. Don’t hug if contagious

The last thing you want to do is give your colleague a cold, or catch one from him or her. So if you’re uncertain about your own health, or the other person seems to be fighting an infection, stick to a handshake at most, although not touching at all is probably safest. You can always say that you’re avoiding touch out of concern that you might spread something you’ve been exposed to if you are really afraid of catching something from other person.kissing-in-costa-rica-2

8. Don’t hug if not clean.

Let’s say you’re meeting on a very hot day, and you’ve gotten sweaty on your walk over from the parking lot. Or you’ve had a workout and returned to work but didn’t have time to shower. Or you’ve been out at a site visit and gotten grimy. In those circumstances, avoid hugging. The last thing you want to do is gross someone out.

9. Err on not hugging.

If you’re not sure whether a hug would be welcome, and you don’t think it’s a good idea to ask, then don’t hug. You’ll almost never offend someone with a handshake.

10. Cease the right moment.

In spite of all these caveats, I’m still a believer in the power of human contact. So if you feel like a hug is warranted and none of the obstacles above apply, I say go for it. I once met a business contact face-to-face for the first time after we’d been working together for several years. I felt like I knew him, and he seemed to feel the same, because at our first meeting, he greeted me with a hug. I was surprised, but happily so. During that brief meeting we talked more about our lives than about business and by the time I left, I had a human relationship to go with the emails and voice on the phone. That hug was a great way to start.


Be happy in yourself and do not blame others because life is not only about you exclusively to demand always a 24hour self-centred attention from others who love you. A trend of right to entitlement to be happy at expense of others causes problems in families, society of online. The happiness demanding attention is ruining relationships. Some demand a nonstop unrealistic pressure from loved ones all moments be spent only with them day or night. So time taken to do things or working to provide for them is considered ‘dehumanizing neglect’ for not catering always for them only. Onus of their life is always shifted to others to become totally responsible for them. So like emotional babies, do not realise that growing up means taking a full responsibility for actions. Therefore permanently blame others for problems of their lives or for being born in wrong the environment to undesired parents whose fault made them as they are. Do not put all the anger, and bitterness on those who care about you most. As long as they receive help from everyone at all times without need to help others they feel fine.58216d1a9df4cedf435f5d8a037d7cc4 Dare others ask them to be patient or to wait for their turn often become angry or agitated throwing things at people or breaking things to hurt owners. These behaviour often starts from tantrums of terrible twos not corrected by their innocence not to offend them. Some sulk and cry for hours on end or, develop headaches from crying so cycle is repeated over and over again. A bad upbringing ranges from the spectrum of lack of discipline, correction, ADHD or autism not diagnosed early taking its toll into adulthood. Pride, ego, defiance, anti establishment becomes the norm so used to getting own ways for too long. A genuine effort to support and help them seen as intrusion although often naive of the outcome of their actions. Most of the time the very family considered not good enough for them end up picking up the pieces of their trail of damage to others. Always in denial of reality never aware of effects of their behaviour on a family, relatives, friends or children. In extreme cases traumatize or hurt others incapable of understanding risks or the consequences of an action in advance before it happens. Constantly operate in high-strung emotion demand that those around them always walk on egg shells. Unaware792e6019ecd1c629c0ad3c773ee524ca of social rules etiquette unable to tolerate if attention or a conversation is not only about them. So emotionally draining others yet complaining about lack of attention from those doing their best to live with them. Underlying this state of mind is influence of the liberal views of deception that they are their own self-made people unaccountable to nobody so must depend exclusively only on their own ideas, feelings choices egos without recognising impact effect of damage in hurting others. If not dealt with grow into megalomania, tyrants in extreme cases never content with their lot in life. Always want more and more beyond realistic expectations or available resources in life. Suck others dry but still moan about not being given enough attention. Emotionally draining accurately described ‘manic behaviour of such a person does not understand brain function process of information or instructions properly in the interest of the good of all others. be-happyUnhappiness causes bile toxic chemicals to affect mood swing, sugar withdrawal symptoms, substance abuses affecting genetics of children from some parents, alcohol, poor communication skills, lack of maturity, background experience that intrude into adult years if unchecked. Other times consequence of their sheer pathological wickedness stems from the habitual actions since childhood. Sadly, in schools, emphasis is more on a head knowledge more than personal growth development and emotional maturity required for a longterm living. Another factor is the attitude of certain men seen as powerful if they are rebellious to authority. Some ‘success’ sometimes equated to a bully who tramples over all others bulldozed their way to achieve their goal, be it on corporate ladder, or in family, church, abusers manipulate or attack those who stand up to them. 57c69b8d9a2cff284ba95ed892061acaIt is predicted in Bible by Jesus during the end time lawlessness will abound as such people become more haughty, and disobedient to authority hate discipline, lovers of self more than Lovers of God, high minded ever learning but unable to grasp truth. So cannot understand basic rules, respect, consideration for others. Always insists on their way or no way, self-destruct snapping because they refuse to help or correction to save them from themselves. Truth hurts but God says His people are destroyed for lack of proper Godly knowledge and proper understanding of daily roles in relation to others on Earth. Confusion today in society and wars come from inability to compromise or to put others first. Some insist their way is only way manipulate or force others put under pressure but indulge without listening or valuing others due to greed, love of money, fear. Worse of all undergirding greed motives spur them on to destroy others for their selfish gains. It is well-known in  living history many lives destroyer by not living and let live lifestyle agreement to agree to disagree to live in peace chucked out of window.


10-Signs-Its-a-Good-Idea-to-Move-in-with-Your-PartnerMoving in and living together is seen as most exciting time ever if a relationship is going well. Often many factors include being closer together because deeply in love and economic reasons. After falling in love the next level is planning future together hopefully for life. The focus of excitement to see it happen absolutely is amazing. You just cannot wait to cook dinner together, feel super domestic, and yeah, maybe you want to show off to friends you not only landed an awesome boyfriend but committing to each other even more. You know that you definitely deserve to be happy about this and even sure you are right because you got far to this point. You may think you can still mess things up or make some mistakes but decides to go ahead anyway. This is often the case for some people when one is totally fixated on these things so your relationship does not end. Researchers find 15 useful points couples must note when moving in together.Young Adult Using Laptop

1. Thinks Life Stays Same

Many think life at the beginning of their relationship stays in the same romantic phase permanently in state of euphoria. Hence choices and planning of decisions are based on utopia mindset of perfect happiness. Being in love means to them everything harmonises perfectly in state of synchronicity. The truth is anytime a big step is taken in relationship it means things are going to change. It is not a bad thing at all but means you have to admit that something has shifted and there is a new dynamic you need to deal with it. So a lot of couples make the mistake of not thinking anything changes when they decide to live together. Again, it is not anything negative it is just something to keep an eye on. By bringing two lives together essentially each has a different habit when it comes to how you live. So maybe you are a morning person and you kind of annoy everyone but hey, they are jealous and your partner is a total night owl. That means things can change a little bit. You might have to go to bed at separate times or find other times of day to hang out. You have to just figure this out but it’s definitely possible.15.jpg

2. SuperHigh Expectation

Most relationship definitely face super high expectations of each other some almost humanly impossible. So having super high expectations and partner not meeting them causes anger, frustrations and dissatisfaction. Maybe they do not know what you want them to do so they cannot meet them as they are not mind readers. Maybe they cannot meet them because you want too much and so they cannot give you what you are looking for. Unrealistic expectations can ruin totally or break a relationship. When you move in, you do not want to have crazy high expectations that no sane person could ever meet, let alone the person you love. Many couples make this mistake. They think moving in together totally solves problems in their relationship just for a while but think the negative completely disappears except the very best stuff. It is not real life so not the right way to go. Think of MasterChef with the identical ingredients, scales, cookers, tools, recipe given to a team of professionals. After watching practical demonstration of the exact recipe perfectly made by a gourmet chef their meals never look or taste the same. A certain level of experience and a personal touch always produces better quality. In the same manner, nobody can perfectly replicate exact clone of loved one no matter how deeply in love they may be. Worth noting love alone is not enough to transform anyone overnight into an image of fantasy partner existing inside one’s head. Some people never think anyone is perfect for them so need to create one themselves.   moving-in.jpg
3. Doing It For The Money

Sometimes it seems a good idea to move into a place together because financially it is a good idea. But you have to make sure you think about this. Just because you find a place that you are absolutely in love with does mean that you should make decision that you can both afford so check long-term if good idea to move in together. First of all, before you decide to live together you need to have a talk with written agreement to ensure you keep up with whatever decisions made. This means that both of you are willing and ready. Often times if you fall in love with a place and think that this is a good idea before taking the necessary steps you will realize that it can cause a whole lot of issues for the two of you. Make sure you are not moving at a faster pace than your relationship is ready for.moving-in-together.jpg

4. Respecting Differences

Again, you and your partner might have way more differences than you know and those things only become super- clear after you move in together. You could be a neat freak and they could be furthest thing from that. You must respect fact they thinking you are nagging always on their case to clean up or do dishes, if not you are asking for a major relationship trouble. You have to respect differences and talk about this properly. You can say something like, “Hey, I get it does not bother you if dirty dishes are left in the sink, but I do not love it, so maybe we can take turns.” If they truly love you so hopefully does since you are now living together is a pretty massive step. You, need to understand where both come from to negotiate teamwork and learn to agree to disagree on other differences.article-0-1842F93C00000578-336_634x373.jpg

5. Seeing Each Other 24/7

When couples move in together because they want to spend more time together, after already spending time hanging out and staying over at each other’s places they figure out it is time and they might as well live together. It just makes total and complete sense as a really great next step. But if you think moving in with a partner  means that you should see each other 24/7, you are on the wrong track. Yes, you love one another and yes, you want to see each other as much as you possibly can. But you both still need to live your own lives and see your families and see your friends and keep up your hobbies and interests. Do not just drop everything and everyone in your life now because you live with your partner. That is asking for a total disaster. Be honest about how much space you need and do the same partner and family.55_dating_advice-909388-TwoByOne

6.Nagging & Complaining

Pointing out what is wrong instead of an appreciation of what is right is nagging. Why ignore a 90% strong points to zoom in on 10% weaknesses as long as it is not a risk to life or aggressive behaviour that causes harm or any danger. Be honest are you perfect yourself? Nagging is the projection of self onto others to compel them to behave exactly like you. In other words you want your identical clone to just like you. You already know this is making a total and complete stereotype, so honestly, why would you do this? Do you want your partner to hate you and resent you and eventually leave you? You definitely want to cut this out and soon. A lot of couples make mistake of nagging each other when they move in together, so yes, it definitely goes both ways and guys can do this, too, even if you don’t think so. Your might ask to chill out a little bit about chores and taking care of apartment or might say you are hanging out with your friends too much and nag you about how you need to spend more time at home. Do your best and say you both need to communicate properly and that neither one of you should make the other one feel bad.First-Time-House-Buyers.jpg

7. Both Being Honest

Sometimes couples living together are not totally honest about what they each want. Maybe wants a certain apartment but your partner hates it so did not push for it or vice versa. Is not ideal situation if both move into an apartment and you do not both absolutely adore it, but yeah, it does happen. If you’ve moved in with someone before, you’ve probably made the mistake of not being honest about the kind of living accommodations that you’re looking for, and if you haven’t lived with anyone yet, you definitely will in the future. It is just one of the things that usually happens for good reason to make partner happy so wants the same thing for you, so you tiptoe around this kind of issue and act like everything is totally fine. Until, of course, it all comes crashing down later on always be honest because if not you pay it for it later.first_time_home_buyer_north_carolina_350

8. Treating As Y/our Place

Avoid mistake of acting an apartment is still totally yours if your partner moved in with you, you are not alone there. The same thing applies if you move into their apartment or you got a totally new place altogether. The truth is a place belongs to both of you now and you definitely have to get used to that. You cannot just invite people over without telling your partner and vice versa, and you cannot decorate it however, cannot randomly rearrange furniture without telling other person. You just cannot unless you want to start a huge argument and then, by all means, go ahead. This is part of what makes living together so new and difficult. It is not all fun and games as there are some real decisions to make with your partner. Even if you take initiative or want to surprise it is good to have approval out of respect not belittle partner. Hopefully, you will get used to realizing you share space now and things will be okay.Happy-Homeowners-(Website)-77267-1

9.Being Choosy & Picky

Being choosy, picky and overdemanding in the name of perfection drains partner emotionally. If you refuse to put up any painting your partner’s grandmother had given them or even painted because you claim it is super ugly and does not go with the rest of the apartment decor, you are not only being a jerk but making also a huge mistake. Same goes if actions any favourite pillow means a lot to you, so super attached to it. Many couples make mistake of deciding to live tougher and then getting super picky about furniture and decorations. It is easy to not see the forest from the trees, as they say to care so much about small irrelevant things that you do not realize the big picture of what really matters. The big picture of course, is that you love someone enough to live with them. That is no small thing. Choose safe well-structured wardrobes to use without falling apart easily posing risk especially to small children or infirm in household. Ensure best quality and durable safe bed/rooms, electric, gas pipes checked to ensure safety. Be realistic and do repairs regularly for peace of mind.Rido.jpg

10.Housewarming Parties

You want to have a housewarming party when you move into a new place and so desire goes up about a million points as you are moving in with your partner. You want to housewarming party, asking for tons of trouble and do not realize how much this strain on your relationship. The same thing will definitely happen if your partner wants to throw party earlier than you do or tries to control the whole thing. Talk to each other openly honestly about when you both want to throw this party and definitely think plan together the details and costs or clean up

11. Being A United Team 

Yeah, you have been living alone for a while now, and even though you’ve been in this happy and serious relationship, you have still had your own space. You could do what you want, when you want, and you made decisions about going to sleep or when to cook or when to clean without having to ask someone else if it  is okay. But now you are part of a team and it is not just your space anymore, so  that is a huge change. A lot of couples make mistake of not acting like they are part of a team now that they moved in together. You cannot just rearrange your entire living room without talking to the partner or decide to retile the bathroom floor without them running it by you first. You have to talk things out and figure them out together. If you do not want to do it this living arrangement might not work neither will relationship.article-2537031-0409F75F00000514-609_634x376.jpg

12.On The Best Behaviour

Yes, of course, you want to be on your best behaviour around other people, but around your romantic partner? Why would not just be yourself to relax a little bit more? A lot of couples think  when they move in together, they should not walk around in ugly sweats anymore or do the things they used to do. But that is a huge mistake and so wrong. You are sharing your life with your partner now, along with your apartment and deserve to be yourself and be real as possible. You can absolutely break out your ugliest sweatpants or slippers and just might become inside joke between two of you, which is totally cool. You should not be afraid to relax and act the way you did before when you just lived alone both do the same thing within reason, of course. You may not want to see the messiest so hopefully can reign it a little bit you two.couple-fighting-on-couch

13. Fighting Too Much

Some couples move in together and then automatically start fighting too much. The thing is this does not have to happen at all so can absolutely work hard to prevent it. It is easier to fight with someone you see all the time every single day. You expect them to figure things out so there is no reason to tell them exactly what is on your mind but you should be honest all the time. And yes, honesty is a good idea yet there is a fine line between honesty and being kind of mean and cruel. Do not be honest you hurt your partner’s feelings. If you both just share intimacy together but cannot seem stop bickering about little stuff, you need to set some ground rules and boundaries. Talk about how you will divide up chores, domestic stuff like cooking and cleaning. Until you figure that out you will keep fighting so not good for anyone.cohabiting_couple_182624410

14. Expecting Romance

This is a huge mistake lots of couples make, and is a pretty obvious one. Of course, you think things are going to be super romantic 24/7 when actually living with one you love the most in the world. But that does not take into account being sick, being exhausted, being stressed out at work and general life stuff. Moving in together is kind of like getting a taste of what is married life so you definitely will deal with a lot of things you never had to deal with before. You must be open and honest with each other about literally all you are dealing with, whether you want to or not. If you do not sleep together  every single night or have the hottest love life ever, that is not a bad thing. That means your relationship matures as love changes and gets back to normal. A point to remember is libido changes with small children so find new hide outs for timing intimacy passion. You need to be creative as not same as just the two of you before raising family.


15. Have Zero Problems

You cannot have children then expect the home to remain as if you live in a show room because the house is an investment to sell on. Some do not let children sit on sofa, play, roll on floor in living room so raised like little soldier’s in ‘the sound of music.’ Perfect children and families only happily ever after relationship happens in TV drama, Mills and Boon’s romantic novels, real life is warts and all. Couples think once they make important decision to move in together are truly committing to each other so will have zero problems. If things get more complicated when you move in with someone it is normal but, that is not a bad thing at all unless you make it one. Both are own whole people and with your own thoughts, feelings, ideas and you have your own schedules and routines. Those are bound to clash so that is okay. That is what is supposed to happen. Do your best to be patient as the two of you get used to your new living situation and work out the issues within a good frame of time. Just because you are having a bit of trouble getting used to living together does not mean things are heading in a negative direction. Some recommend not moving in together before marriage often it does not work out in favour of the majority   who tried due to lack of commitment. At other times couples need support of the family members and friends to survive. So it is wise in both best interest not to exclude isolate or burn love bridges as you are too deeply involved to make room for any other person. That is too close for comfort so can suffocate the relationship. Above all, God said it is not good to be alone so seek God’s Face to guide and help you build up a sound foundation. Do not let your picker or physical looks attraction be the only deciding factor of relationship. A reliable interdependent relationship nurtures love essential to a mature love. Life is dynamic so changes take place daily in both if children are involved. Create play corner, child space include learning and music. Continue to date once a month minimum and get a baby sitter and do not call every second instead of relaxing with your partner. If possible for stability of children choose a location nearby with schools, church and parks locally. Aim for property longterm so children will not miss out on forming durable friendships and family support. Pay closer attention to household chores like removing rubbish. USD multilayered plastic bags if suitable inlaid with paper to soak wet waste that is not made into compost. Separate to recycle useful gabbage because one man’s thrash is another’s treasure. Keep baby waste out doors in safe covered bins do not breath it indoors including removing cat litter from tray daily for good hygiene practice.Small-trash-can-with-our-bag__pp-300x300bin5final1-1024x769.jpg

16. Household Duties

Shopping, cooking, laundry and cleaning duties among others must meticulously planned and not left to chance. Both will do certain tasks better so agree and make a to do list to remind yourself if not able to hire a housekeeper to do it for you. A happy life depends on smooth  running of the home and good time schedules as part of a team working together. Simple tips include advance preparation to be ahead of time. A dustbin layered with many bags with disinfectant in between each saves time to remove rubbish. Also clear water closet with clean tissue on top of unflashed loo, push down brush left in during flashing to cut the cost of calling plumber every five minutes. It prevents ungastly sight of a heavy soiling stubborn stains on brush that refuse to be shifted by flashing alone. Persist and repeat process many times until clean for next use. Never let toilet brush directly touch loo instead use tissues to form a barrier to keep the brush clean from harbouring germs and bacteria. After flashing loo, use fresh clean tissue to pick and wipe handle, disinfect brush after cleaning and wash hands thoroughly. Soak brush in a disinfectant  container holding brush in the toilet to continue daily disinfectation. If at first you do not succeed try again to leave brush inside bowl with tissue covering loo and flash but do not stuff lavatory with tissues out of sheer frustration to cost you plumber fees. If not sure what to do leave it with the experts in case it is a pipe blockage elsewhere. Life can be easily managed if you know how.



Good mood foods improve good feelings and thinking process due to the residues from chemicals, fertilisers, insecticides, pesticides plus environmental toxins. So those with a history of mental health problems can benefit from good food. The Kellogg brothers originally noticed diet deficiencies affecting mental well being so introduced multivitamin cereals to help eat better. Others diagnosed with ADHD nine years ago, and with OCD, and a generalised anxiety and SPOV ( intense phobia of vomiting) in 2016 were helped to change diet too. Panic attacks was dishearteningly regular feature in a life of one man who recently changed his diet as living proof of good mood foods. By actively seek out anything that could make life easier, heard there was a relationship between mood and food. So intrigued, gained from these benefits of knowing diet affects physical health, in bad ways and good. Fast foods can increase your risk of heart disease, while omega-3, found in nuts and oily fish, can boost heart health. There is growing evidence that what we eat affects our mental health, too. Two of my favourite foods doughnuts and muffins are among the baddies. One study found eating mass-produced baked goods affects the  risk of developing depression. Others showed increasing levels of zinc in the diet can actually treat depression.


But I started taking the idea seriously when I discovered that Jenny Edwards CBE, the Chief Exec at the Mental Health Foundation, planning series of lectures on the subject. “We’re planning to explore the facts and bust the myths around nutrition and other lifestyle factors in mental health she says. “There’s a growing evidence base showing that a good diet not only impacts on our physical health, but our mental health too.”I’d  noticed this myself. Everyone has weeks that include more cheesy chips, chocolate and fast food than is generally advisable. For me, those weeks are ones of lethargy. One of the ways my ADHD manifests itself is I find it difficult to sit and do nothing. But, when I eat badly, I feel exhausted, with little desire to do anything other than plank my own bed. Not only that, but I’ve noticed that after few days of eating junk food, intrusive thoughts synonymous with OCD I worked hard to overcome in therapy starts to re-appear.


Julia Rucklidge, a professor of clinical psychology at University of Canterbury, New Zealand, has spent the majority of her researching life investigating the role of nutrition in mental health. Julia’s work has predominantly revolved around micronutrients. “They are vitamins B, C, D and E,” she explains minerals like zinc, iron, magnesium. Magnesium, for example, is great for helping people with sleep problems.” According to Professor Rucklidge, it’s not about “one magic food or one magic nutrient it’s combination of nutrients that seems to improve mental wellbeing. Julia believes optimal diet for improving mental health would see a reduction in processed foods, including takeaways, sugary drinks, refined grains and refined sugars. She suggests “moving towards Mediterranean-style diet, where you’re eating fresh fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, nuts, fish.” This is echoed by Sarah Owen, specialist dietitian working in mental health, who believes in a poor mental health can be exacerbated by modern diets, where we’re “eating less fruit and vegetables and having fewer home-cooked meals” than in decades past. I decided to have a ‘healthy’ week, avoiding all processed foods, to see how I felt. I stocked up on vegetables, unsalted nuts, fresh fruit, arrived in office each day with prepared Tupperware container of nutritious salads. 9f5c63df-2316-46e4-b94f-98f84bc48339

Therefore by day three there was already a substantial difference in my mood. I was waking up before my alarm, my energy levels were steadier, and I felt productive. I made sure I ate fish for omega-3, potatoes and pasta for carbohydrates, lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, a little plain dark chocolate this was supposed to be balanced, after all). By the end of the week was grateful chocolate birthday cake was passed around the office. But I was struck by how much better I felt. The World Health Organization says by 2020, depression will be second leading cause of world disability. No one is claiming mental health issues can be solved solely by changing diets. Jenny  Edwards raises concerns about some advice already available. There’s a lot of dubious content online she says. “Any advice given has to be based on facts but it’s a step in the right direction. The Bible in Philippians 4:6-7 says do not be anxious, panic about anything but in everything by prayer supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the PEACE OF GOD, which surpasses all human understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.