BE HAPPY IN YOURSELF

Be happy in yourself and do not blame others because life is not only about you exclusively to demand always a 24hour self-centred attention from others who love you. A trend of right to entitlement to be happy at expense of others causes problems in families, society of online. The happiness demanding attention is ruining relationships. Some demand a nonstop unrealistic pressure from loved ones all moments be spent only with them day or night. So time taken to do things or working to provide for them is considered ‘dehumanizing neglect’ for not catering always for them only. Onus of their life is always shifted to others to become totally responsible for them. So like emotional babies, do not realise that growing up means taking a full responsibility for actions. Therefore permanently blame others for problems of their lives or for being born in wrong the environment to undesired parents whose fault made them as they are. Do not put all the anger, and bitterness on those who care about you most. As long as they receive help from everyone at all times without need to help others they feel fine.58216d1a9df4cedf435f5d8a037d7cc4 Dare others ask them to be patient or to wait for their turn often become angry or agitated throwing things at people or breaking things to hurt owners. These behaviour often starts from tantrums of terrible twos not corrected by their innocence not to offend them. Some sulk and cry for hours on end or, develop headaches from crying so cycle is repeated over and over again. A bad upbringing ranges from the spectrum of lack of discipline, correction, ADHD or autism not diagnosed early taking its toll into adulthood. Pride, ego, defiance, anti establishment becomes the norm so used to getting own ways for too long. A genuine effort to support and help them seen as intrusion although often naive of the outcome of their actions. Most of the time the very family considered not good enough for them end up picking up the pieces of their trail of damage to others. Always in denial of reality never aware of effects of their behaviour on a family, relatives, friends or children. In extreme cases traumatize or hurt others incapable of understanding risks or the consequences of an action in advance before it happens. Constantly operate in high-strung emotion demand that those around them always walk on egg shells. Unaware792e6019ecd1c629c0ad3c773ee524ca of social rules etiquette unable to tolerate if attention or a conversation is not only about them. So emotionally draining others yet complaining about lack of attention from those doing their best to live with them. Underlying this state of mind is influence of the liberal views of deception that they are their own self-made people unaccountable to nobody so must depend exclusively only on their own ideas, feelings choices egos without recognising impact effect of damage in hurting others. If not dealt with grow into megalomania, tyrants in extreme cases never content with their lot in life. Always want more and more beyond realistic expectations or available resources in life. Suck others dry but still moan about not being given enough attention. Emotionally draining accurately described ‘manic behaviour of such a person does not understand brain function process of information or instructions properly in the interest of the good of all others. be-happyUnhappiness causes bile toxic chemicals to affect mood swing, sugar withdrawal symptoms, substance abuses affecting genetics of children from some parents, alcohol, poor communication skills, lack of maturity, background experience that intrude into adult years if unchecked. Other times consequence of their sheer pathological wickedness stems from the habitual actions since childhood. Sadly, in schools, emphasis is more on a head knowledge more than personal growth development and emotional maturity required for a longterm living. Another factor is the attitude of certain men seen as powerful if they are rebellious to authority. Some ‘success’ sometimes equated to a bully who tramples over all others bulldozed their way to achieve their goal, be it on corporate ladder, or in family, church, abusers manipulate or attack those who stand up to them. 57c69b8d9a2cff284ba95ed892061acaIt is predicted in Bible by Jesus during the end time lawlessness will abound as such people become more haughty, and disobedient to authority hate discipline, lovers of self more than Lovers of God, high minded ever learning but unable to grasp truth. So cannot understand basic rules, respect, consideration for others. Always insists on their way or no way, self-destruct snapping because they refuse to help or correction to save them from themselves. Truth hurts but God says His people are destroyed for lack of proper Godly knowledge and proper understanding of daily roles in relation to others on Earth. Confusion today in society and wars come from inability to compromise or to put others first. Some insist their way is only way manipulate or force others put under pressure but indulge without listening or valuing others due to greed, love of money, fear. Worse of all undergirding greed motives spur them on to destroy others for their selfish gains. It is well-known in  living history many lives destroyer by not living and let live lifestyle agreement to agree to disagree to live in peace chucked out of window.

GOD SAVED ADDICT CHEF

 Ryan LongmuirImage by RYAN LONGMUIR
caption Ryan’s life spiralled out of control in his teens

At his lowest point, Ryan Longmuir took drugs every day “just to feel normal”.

He was also dealing them, and at one point faced a possible jail sentence.

Born in the Scottish new town of Cumbernauld, Ryan began experimenting with drugs when he was 12, initially because he was curious and had fallen in with likeminded friends.

“I tried everything – cocaine, Valium, ecstasy, speed, heroin… I’d go on benders for two or three days at a time, and I’d take five or 10 ecstasy tablets in one night,” he says.

“From the age of 15 to 20 I took drugs every single day.”

Thankfully for Ryan, everything changed when he was 20, and he has not touched drugs ever since. While the cynical may raise their eyebrows, Ryan, now 37, says he discovered God and quit overnight.

Without the drugs, he was able to get his life back, and aged 24 he launched a catering company called Regis Banqueting.

Today the 13-year-old business has blue-chip clients including mobile phone network O2, luxury carmaker Bentley, and investment bank JP Morgan.

Ryan LongmuirImage copyrightRYAN LONGMUIR
Image captionRyan says that becoming a Christian changed his life

With drugs his main interest and income at the time, Ryan left school in Cumbernauld, 13 miles north-east of Glasgow, aged 16.

Four years later he was dealing thousands of pounds worth of drugs a week, and if he continued he says it was clear that he would become a “big time gangster drug dealer”.

Trying to run away from his lifestyle, Ryan decided in 2000 to go to New Zealand for a year in search of a fresh start.

But it fell apart just two weeks after he arrived, when New Zealand customs intercepted a package of 100 ecstasy pills that Ryan had posted to himself from Scotland.

Facing a jail term, he phoned a friend back in Scotland. She said that she would pray for him and suggested he do the same.

Ryan says: “I thought ‘you’re off your head’ but I decided to try it, and I got down beside my bed and I said, ‘I don’t believe that there is a God, but if you’re real then show me that you’re real and I’ll believe in you.'”

Out on bail, Ryan had to go to the police station every two days, but his appetite for drugs was undiminished.

Regis Banqueting kitchen staffImage copyrightREGIS BANQUETING
Image captionRegis Banqueting employs 65 people

It was only when he met two female hitchhikers that things changed. The women took him out for lunch, then to church, and allowed him to move in to their home.

“That was when I thought there was maybe something to this because why would two complete strangers do that? That was the catalyst for change.”

Ryan says that discovering his faith was fast, and the change immediate. Drugs suddenly lost all appeal, and he threw all the substances that he had into the sea, and has been clean ever since.

“I know most people who have been taking drugs don’t have that experience. Most people do ok for a bit then they relapse. Everyone’s journey is different but that was mine.”

While Ryan escaped jail time in New Zealand, his visa was revoked, and he returned to Scotland in May 2000.

He joined a church, the evangelical Freedom City Church in Cumbernauld, met his wife and got married.

Ryan LongmuirImage copyrightMALCOLM COCHRANE
Image captionTea is now Ryan’s drink of choice

To earn money he got a job working with drug and alcohol addicts, where he was able to draw on his own experience to try to help others to quit.

However, when the funding for his role ran out a few years later he found himself without work. It was then that the opportunity to start his own business came about.

His church wanted a catering company to run the cafe attached to their conference centre on an ad hoc basis, and the then-pastor suggested Ryan might fit the bill.

Despite having little to no catering experience he jumped at the chance and Regis Banqueting was formed. Ryan attended catering college alongside running the cafe and learned as he went along.

“I had to phone my mother-in-law to ask how you make steak pie,” he says.

A Regis pastry chefImage copyrightREGIS BANQUETING
Image captionRegis employs former drug addicts

“I was young and naive. If I knew what I know now, I probably wouldn’t have started it.”

To help Ryan expand the business into contract catering, the Princes Trust, the UK start-up support charity led by the Prince of Wales, gave him a £5,000 loan.

While Ryan says the first three years were tough, with him taking a salary of just £6,000 in year one, over time the clients and contracts got bigger.

Cumbernauld-based Regis Banqueting now has 65 staff – 20 full-time and 40 part-time, many of whom are seasonal – and annual turnover is £1.3m.

Meanwhile, Ryan and the company have won a number of awards including the Royal Bank of Scotland’s young business of the year crown, and director of the year from the Institute of Directors organisation.

Regis Banqueting staff catering an outdoor eventImage copyrightREGIS BANQUETING
Image captionRyan is now starting another company, alongside Regis

Prof Eleanor Shaw, head of the Hunter Centre for Entrepreneurship at the University of Strathclyde, says it is Ryan’s motivation and enthusiasm that helps make him such a success.

“Catering is a really difficult market to be competitive in, but he has such energy,” she says. “He’s very hardworking and is so motivated that it brushes off on everyone around him.”

Looking back on his troubled youth, Ryan says he knows that his life might have turned out very differently.

As a result he tries to help others who face addiction and poverty, for instance by employing former addicts and ex-offenders.

He is also in the process of starting another company, alongside Regis, that will focus on creating a brand of casual dining restaurants, the first to be launched in Glasgow next year. The plan is to expand across Scotland and the UK before going international.

“I say to my wife sometimes that it’s amazing how we’re making more money than a doctor or lawyer – and we’re making sandwiches,” says Ryan.

 

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