EXPRESS MARRIAGE TRENDS

Sophy on her wedding day in traditional attireWith Valentine day approaching people are looking for love and romance for a form relationships. So couples celebrate established meaningful, love fulfilling a family bond. Others also ready to settle down prepare and advertise for love in new ways using social media, Facebook post and was married six days later. The marriage took place quite quickly than the normal traditional longer process of a family searching and taking years for the marriage to be finalised. CHIDIMMA AMEDU, did exactly that advertising for love and marriage on Facebook. He found a beautiful wife who said, ‘he is the most handsome man I’ve ever met and I liked him instantly.” Those who use Facebook come across pretty strange posts in their time. But this time however the random friends requests, being added to groups you did not ask to join, and tags allows “friends” to marry. Others clog up timeline with posts or photos you don’t necessarily want. But a Nigerian man took it to a whole new level posted unusual advert. Chidimma Amedu put up a post on 30 December, asking women interested in being his wife to reply, he told the BBC.Chidimma Amedu on his wedding day

The proposal

“Am of age to and I am ready to say I do and am wasting no time. “Send in your applications – the most qualified will be married on January 6, 2018. Application closes 12 midnight 31/12/2017 he posted. He followed up with subsequent posts. ‘Am serious about this oh and don’t say you did not see it on time Good luck.’ He received a couple of responses, but one from Sophy Ijeoma is someone special who caught his attention. She wrote in her reply “Am interested, just DM me… lols,” her post read. At first, she thought it was a joke and she simply replied to keep thread flowing. A direct message from him to her inbox, followed by a Facebook call, would change her life’s trajectory. Chidimma placed the advert initially as a joke but became optimistic when Sophy said she was interested. So two days after their first conversation, he travelled some 500km (300 miles) from his home in the northern city of Abuja, to Enugu in the east where she lived. She had been waiting for him outside a retail store and in true fairy-tale style, “it was love at first sight”, she recalled. “He is the most handsome man I’ve ever met and I liked him instantly.”The couple on their wedding day in Igbo attire

After 2 hours of awkward conversation, he asked her to go to meet an uncle who incidentally is also resident in Enugu. So he asked what was going through her mind at the time, she said she thought it was all a bit of a joke but was excited about it and thought Chidimma was also quite an interesting character. “We got to the uncle’s house and he said: ‘Uncle, meet the woman I want to marry.'” Like Chidimma his family don’t seem to hang about when it comes to getting things done because uncle gave his approval. The couple are friends on Facebook for over a year but never spoken to each other before the advert. Getting family backing for your choice of spouse is an essential part of Igbo culture. Whereas picking your future wife from dozens of respondents to a Facebook marriage advert and marrying her in six days is decidedly not. At this point in their day-old relationship, it was beginning to dawn on Sophy that this fellow was not playing, but how do you commit to marrying someone you only just me. She would not comment on whether they had even shared as much as a kiss at that point, but maintained she was captivated by how focused, determined her new fiancé was. “When I saw him for the first time, I definitely found him attractive, but what I didn’t know was how serious he was about marrying me. “It was after we met the uncle and his wife, I realised that this could actually happen and I wanted it.”A family member felicitate with the couple

The engagement

It was now her turn to worry about how she was going to get the approval of her family to marry a guy she had just met on Facebook. But they had momentum going for them. Having met and fallen in love at first sight, or first message, if you like, and getting Chidimma’s uncle’s approval, couple decided to complete the cycle by visiting Sophy’s family the same day. Approval from the family is essential in Igbo tradition and Sophy recounted how she relayed information to her mother. Her dad passed away, and her mum said she did not have a final word in terms of giving approval for her to be married, so up to Sophy’s elder brother to give his blessings. It appears the odds firmly in their favour as Sophy’s brother gave his blessings too. So after a few questions from her brother it became official. Chidimma and Sophy were engaged to be married in six days.The happy couple cutting their cake

On the rebound?

Last year Chidimma was engaged to another woman and the wedding was scheduled for December, but then that relationship fell apart in March leaving him dejected. As December approached, the disappointment of not being able to fulfil his dream of getting married made him put up the post, he said. In wedding it was a blend of old and new “I had the desire to get married, had date in mind, but no bride, decided to place an advert as a joke, but I was open and up for it.”  Asked whether she knew about earlier engagement and her thoughts on how this seemingly rushed marriage might be seen as a rebound, Sophy dismissed any suggestions that her relationship was not well thought through. “I don’t care about that when you see what you want, you go for it.” They are friends on Facebook for more than a year, but had never met or spoken to each other until the advert. Am interested just DM me… lols” was all it took for the union to be formed. Sophy admitted her friends were sceptical about the whole thing, while some are still in disbelief, but as she said: “When you see the one, you will know he is the one.” And they got married on 6 January in a traditional Igbo ceremony, and posted photos of wedding day on Facebook of course to the amusement of the social media community. Chidimma put up a post saying people may have thought he had been joking but clearly wasn’t. And as expected there was mixed reactions, but mainly a lot of support for the couple. They hope to have a church wedding in April and honeymoon somewhere nice.

Advertisements

REAL FRIENDS&FOLLOWERS

5-billion-youtube-viewstop-10-most-followed-instagram-users-as-of-2015-july-11-638unnamedyoutube-business-account-statsslide_25C4A2PlIUoAAu6MeIMG_20171211_104559b326a751df25caea8bbf8f381c60a199--real-friends-friends-showVirtual reality lifestyle seekers have so many millions of online friends on their Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, You Tube making them famous and popular. This although good is said to be unrealistic as demands of true friendship requires quality time spent getting to know each other better. Having support of friends online is inspiring, encouraging and can be helpful to isolated people. Professor of a university of psychology and social well-being however says having real life connection with 4 trustworthy friends and reliable people in your lives makes huge difference. Billions bring comfort to people especially in time of need yet as darkest times pass so ‘friends’ move on to their reality and the challenges of their daily lives. The anger, pain, guilt, loss, sorrow, practical grief part of the journey of healing recovery is personal no matter how popular or famous. The private times to deal with life are valid as public life. Having a group of reliable friends listening, supporting necessary in times of suffering. Yet the private processing of vulnerable moments is a serious time of deep reflection alone if even in a crowd among people. As other things are done personally like eating, drinking, bathing, walking, driving or running, unless an infant or incapable, real life experience actions you must do so understand fulfilment, contentment inner joy, strength, personal endurance are resilient qualities. This is a spiritual instruction highly didactic, helpful for personal, business group interactions:

1. *Noah* built the *ark* by faith but, he used measurements. There is a place for rational thinking in walk of faith. Not all decisions should be made with blind hope! God is the Source of direction and instructions to mankind to have good success and be saved.

2. *Sarah’s pregnancy* was a miracle, but it took nine months like any other. God’s plans does not negate importance of process. Sometime you need to wait for things to work it out normally.

3. The *stone* that killed *Goliath* was anointed, but *David’s skill* was also involved. Developing skills does not just mean God anointed, if you play a piano, play it to the fullest. Don’t take people through the agony of listening to mere cacophony in the name of “singing to hear the sound of your voice.” Skills are important but nothing rude with saying “you can’t sing, find something to do in the Glory of God.”

4. *Esther* received favour to become *queen* but she bathed and prepared her appearance. Preparation is key to become fit for occasion. Get knowledge, go to school. Stop blaming auto-correct, check spelling on social media. Rely less on technology. The ease with which we can obtain information today makes our lives much more convenient, but it can also make us stupider. The neural pathways involved in reading maps, for example, are probably much weaker in Millennials’ brains than in the brains of their parents. Millennials rely heavily on GPS navigation to help them find their way, while older generations had to get out an atlas if they got lost. If they can’t remember what a word means, many people quickly Google it than sit down and focus on trying to remember. Instead of strengthening their ability to recall information, obtain information with no thought. Rely on the phone less and your brain more. Prepare, because expect nothing but the best in life!

5. The *promised land* was full of milk and honey, but they also had to plow, feed cattle, and take care of sheep. Miracles are communication tools that God uses to instill trust, faith and the knowledge of his nature. You need to work, don’t expect miracles in a specific area of life all time. No one pays rent for a full year with miracle money. Though we need it, we want it, but God wants permanent regular supply. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.

6. *God* is the one who *created human capacity* to memorize things, yet told many prophets to write their message. Spirituality does not mean we should not use tools to package the message.

7. *Ruth* received favour of God to marry *Boaz*but the coaching of Naomi was necessary. Human coaching is necessary, you need to submit and learn from someone to spare you from silly unnecessary mistakes in life.

8. *Moses* heard directly from God, but he was wearing himself out with work, it was the wisdom of his father in law saved him from dying premature death with exhaustion. It is wisdom to put on seat belt, brush, teeth adhere to medical advise. Being spiritual does not mean asking angels to cook food for you so some things in life God or friends will not do for you.

9. *Namaan* was a mighty soldier and a friend of Kings but acted on instructions influenced by Jewish maiden. Important people are influenced by “insignificant” people. The key thing is proximity that generates influence to save your life.

Mishandling natural world can cause hinderance to progress, a total neglect of the spiritual world definitely causes total failure in all areas of life.

*Balance is the key.*

“Hear, O Israel:  The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments given you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. “Talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up says Deuteronomy 6:4–7 in the Bible. Remember God in your youth, in your old age with your family. “As for me and my household we will serve the LORD God Yahweh says Joshua 24:15.