GUILTFREE WAYS TO SAY NO

Saying No for the Sake of Your Wallet

Request: A friend in need asks for loan.
What you should say: “I wish I can but as a rule, I don’t lend money to friends.”
Why it works: So its clear you did not single out this person as untrustworthy.

You shouldn’t feel guilty: Lending any amount of money can cause problems, says the communications trainer Don Gabor. It changes nature of relationship if the person doesn’t pay you back.”
Avoid the situation in the future: Never lend money to friends, you won’t get reputation as a Mobile Bank ATM. 9f8eab4c34bbdd4065c5809378443d16

Request: A coworker wants you to chip in $25 for gift for colleague you would not recognize at the watercooler.

You should say: “Oh, I’ve never really had a conversation with Ian. I think I’ll wish him a happy birthday in person.”
Why it works: Chances are, the person taking donations has no idea how close you are (or are not) with the intended recipient. By clarifying nature of your relationship emphasises intention to get to know the person better. So you come across as thoughtful rather than cheap.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: A gift is not a gift if an obligation, says etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh.
Avoid the situation in the future: If workplace gift giving is getting out of hand, take the lead in restoring sanity by circulating a card before someone can break out the gift-donation plate. Make sure others know you don’t expect anything on your birthday.How-to-say-no-to-your-boss-politelyRequest: Your third cousin asks to bring her boyfriend-of-the-month to your $150-a-plate wedding reception.

What you should say: “We’ve already had to make so many tough decisions to get the guest list down to size. We really can’t squeeze in/afford another guest. But I would love to have you two over for drinks sometime so I can meet him.”
Why it works: If you illuminate some of behind-the-scenes planning, cousin may get clue of inappropriateness of request.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: It’s your party and your pocketbook, says author Patti Breitman.
Avoid the situation in the future: Make calls before you put together the guest list to see the new additions you should consider as you plan.sayno

Saying No for the Sake of Your Time

Request: You are offered a promotion that you don’t want. Though it means more money, it demands more hours or more of what boss calls responsibility and you call tedium.
What you should say: “I’m flattered that you want me, but for personal reasons I’m not in a situation where I can take this on. Perhaps in a year from now things will be different. Can we talk again if my circumstances change?”
Why it works: If in enviable dilemma boss will understand you have personal priorities that take precedence.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: By saying no to more time at the office, you’re saying yes to other things you cherish, long walks alone at sunset or evening time with your children.
Avoid the situation in the future: “If a position opens up at your workplace, you could let it be known that you are not in the running,” Breitman suggests. Being forthright saves your manager the trouble of pursuing a candidate who isn’t interested.maxresdefault (4)

Request: You are asked to coordinate bake sale again at your child’s school.
What you should say: “I know I am going to disappoint you, but I’ve decided not to volunteer this year, because I will feel stressed. Is there any way to get some of the other parents to step up?”
Why it works: People feel manipulated into doing something like The ice cream social won’t happen without your help! If address the problematic pattern of one person’s doing all the work, you sidestep manipulation. If you say no, it force others never get asked to say yes.
You shouldn’t feel guilty: “You’ve done your fair share, and now others can do this job,” says Robinson.
Avoid the situation in the future: Encourage school leaders to present the problem to all parents,” says Robinson. “If people know an important program may fail, usually remedy situation.maxresdefault (3)Request: If invited to distant relative’s annual Lobster Lua, 14th year in row.

You should say: “I’ve really had fun in the past, but I can’t make it this year. That week is already packed for me.”
Why it works: “You’ve explained it in a way that doesn’t sound like a personal rejection,” says Robinson. “And you’ve asked for understanding, based on your need to take stress out of your schedule. Everyone can identify with that.”
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: You have only so much free time―and so much tolerance for flying lobster goo. “Don’t R.S.V.P. yes, then back out at the last minute or, worse, not show up at all,” say Izzo and Marsh. “That is the least decorous way of handling invite.”
Avoid the situation in the future: In a note, thank the relative for thinking of you and explain that because you tend to be busy at this time of year, he should feel free to take you off his invite list.maxresdefault (2)

Request: Boss asks you to supervise this season’s intern last seen with feet up on a desk, iPod on, Gameboy in hand.
What you should say: “Wow, that’s an interesting project. I’m really busy with the ABC assignment right now, so let me know if you want me to re-prioritize.”
Why it works: “Asking boss to prioritize tasks for you means so do not have to actually say “no,” Breitman says. If told to just squeeze the new task in, then do it. But keep a list of all the extra work you’ve done for your next review.
You shouldn’t feel guilty: You really do have enough work to do as it is.
Avoid the situation in the future: If extra tasks keep getting dumped on your desk, ask your boss for a meeting. Explain that the added assignments are making it hard to do your primary job properly. Ask if she wants to review your job description and renegotiate your salary while she’s at it.  AAEAAQAAAAAAAANxAAAAJDczZjg2NDEyLTE1Y2QtNDllNi1hNjIwLWY2MzgyYzc0YTA2Mg

Say No for the Sake of Your Sanity

Request: A friend asks to borrow car because own in shop to repair dent got while driving, talking on phone, and unwrapping juice-box straw.
What you should say: “I do not lend anything worth more than $1,000.” Try to avoid “I don’t have insurance for a non-family member, insurance policies cover the car, not specific drivers. If friend got into accident, it could make your premium go up. If you have time, offer her a ride instead.
Why it works: “Avoid blame on you,” explains author Patti Breitman. “Don’t indicate you don’t trust the friend.”
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: “Your car is probably the first or second most valuable thing you own,” says Breitman. “You’re protecting a big financial asset.” Plus, if friend gets accident relationship might be totalled, too.
Avoid the situation in the future: Let your friends know that while you’re typically a generous lender (“Of course you can borrow my snorkeling gear!”), your car is off-limits. Say-NO-pic

Request: A guest offers to bring seven-layer dip to party. But doesn’t really go with Greek theme you planned.
What you should say: “What a kind offer thank you. I have already planned the menu, but do you have any dietary restrictions I should know about? Be nice and ask to bringing something, like bottle of wine or a loaf of bread.
Why it works: Acknowledging the offer of generosity let person know did all they could. If the person has dietary restrictions so cooking difficult for you, relent and let bring a dish to eat.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: Person offered to be courteous. Saying no, you gives license to relax, enjoy hospitality.
Avoid the situation in the future: When you invite people, ask if there is anything they don’t eat, because you want to make sure your menu works for everyone. Emphasize the word menu, so people know that you have a plan or a theme for the meal (and so they won’t try to upset it).thumbs-down

Request: Future sister-in-law wants to throw baby shower you don’t want fuss.
What you should say: “I really don’t want a party, but thank you so much for offering. Why don’t we splurge on visit to a day spa instead?”
Why it works: “Not everyone likes a party in honour or wants to be center of attention with a paper plate of bows on her head,” says etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh. Unless she has her own agenda, she should understand.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty: “If you decline, you are taking away pleasure from the people who care about you, but it is occasion to shout about or be quiet about,” say Izzo and Marsh.
Avoid the situation in the future: Announce what you would prefer to do instead of a shower before anyone offers to throw one.

 

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DO NOT COMPLAIN IN LIFE

IMG_20171227_125706the-world-wont-care-about-your-self-esteemPrecious-Love-Quotes-About-Goddont-complain-about-your-life-when-you-are-the-one-1338-640x640Don-t-complain-Be-the-changef5840a3c5aa35133223536c8f3b4364e.jpgIMG_20170823_124913

MEN DON’T WANT KIDS?

Men don’t want to repeat mistakes

The biggest reason I don't want to be a father is because I don't want to be a failure as a dad to the child the same way my dad was to me

Lots of patience some men don’t have

I tell everyone I don't want to be a dad because I can't afford it. Truth is, I've been a surrogate father before, and I had really bad anger issues. I'm afraid that I'd be an abusive father.

Some men have different life plans.

I feel like all the girls my age who are into me, already have kids. I feel bad but I can't date someone with a child because I don't want to be a father figure. It's just not for me.
WAS ADOPTED SO FELT UNWANTED 
I never want kids because I'm  adopted and I know how hard it is to feel unwanted. I wouldn't make a good father.ABANDONED SO NOT WANT KIDS
I don't want to be a father because I think I'll end up hating it and abandoning my kids.

Apples not fall far away from trees.

My partner doesn't understand I never want kids because I never want to end up turning out like my father.

NOT REALLY A FAN OF CHILDREN

I'm glad I'm gay because i hate children. i really hate children and i don't want to be a dad.

MAY RAISE KIDS AS WAS RAISED

I'm thinking about getting a vasectomy when I'm older because I don't want to be a dad and wouldn't want to raise kids like the way my father did to me
AFRAID MIGHT HURT CHILDREN 
The reason I don't want to be a father is because I'm afraid I'll hurt my child.

You don’t want to take this chance.

I secretly don't want to be a father because I'm scared I will be a horrible one.

Kids aren’t everyone’s cup of tea.

I never want kids..  Because to be honest, I don't even like kids.

Not everyone wants to be like parents

I tell people I never want kids because I don't like them. Truth is I am afraid a part of my father will come out and I will be cursed to be a terrible dad.

Has Real fears so avoids children.

I never want to be a father because mine was a complete failure, like his father, and probably his father.

 A Person’s Individuality is important

I never want kids because I don't want my whole identity to become "daddy." Among other reasons of course.

LIKES HAVING TIME TO HIMSELF

I'm a 25 year old man and I never want kids because I love having time to myself.

Some couples do not want kids

I never want kids because I've basically raised my siblings and I'm over it

Raising children lot of responsibility.

I tell people I never want kids because I hate them. The truth is that I don't want to be responsible for ruining their childhood. I couldn't live with myself knowing I screwed up

Health issues are a serious thing.

I never want kids, because I don't want to pass down my mental illness

Child pain lifelong commitment gain

I never want kids because they hold you back. As a dad you have to watch family movies, eat up at your money, don't let you travel and that's only the beginning...

Some couples do not want kids which is fair if they can afford to pay others to care for them in old age. However, deliberately refusing to bear children due to inconvenience they cause then get support from those who sacrificed to have children is interesting. This is a lifelong commitment. The real reasons men these days do not want kids are given as to why they do no want kids and others want children. Everyone has own reasons so men are opening up about why they do not want children. Not every man has a paternal instinct and desire to start a family as some men show. So not holding back in the honest confessions about why they don’t want kids in life.

Comments:-

It is good to talk to the men again in the future to reassess their current mindset. Talk to other men to discuss if they had such feelings or any regrets later in old age when it was too late. Do their real fears merit not enjoying being a parent? How about needing loved ones to look after them when older? Do they know people who live without children and managed to be alright in life? Certain decisions made precortex may not be always reversible years later.
Haven Alexander Kincaid
Not everyone NEEDS to have children to be fulfilled. Children are not the sole purpose for existing, thanks.
Like · Reply · Mark as spam · 5 · Dec 12, 2017 5:15pm
Haven Alexander Kincaid
Plus if you’re only having kids to have someone to “look after you” when you’re old, you’re having kids for the wrong damn reason.
Like · Reply · Mark as spam · 5 · Dec 12, 2017 5:16pm
Menno van Oosten
Haven Alexander Kincaid Actually, from a biological standpoint, it is. All animals except humans die as soon as they reach the age where they cannot reproduce anymore.
Like · Reply · Mark as spam · Dec 14, 2017 6:37am

There’s a lot of patience involved that some men don’t have.

2

I tell everyone I don't want to be a dad because I can't afford it. Truth is, I've been a surrogate father before, and I had really bad anger issues. I'm afraid that I'd be an abusive father.

Some men have different life plans.

3

I feel like all the girls my age who are into me, already have kids. I feel bad but I can't date someone with a child because I don't want to be a father figure. It's just not for me.

He’s experienced pain.

4

I never want kids because I'm  adopted and I know how hard it is to feel unwanted. I wouldn't make a good father.

Whoah.

5

I don't want to be a father because I think I'll end up hating it and abandoning my kids.

This apple wants to fall far away from the tree.

6

My partner doesn't understand I never want kids because I never want to end up turning out like my father.

Fatherhood isn

TEACH CHILDREN HUMILITY

A little girl sits like a princess with her parents bowing down to herTeach children humility to equip them to deal with the daily challenges of life. If a child behaves arrogantly but then expects everyone to treat them special, the parents wonder, ‘What has got into them?’ Each parent wants a child to feel good about themself​ but not to think they are better than everyone else!’So is it ever possible to teach a child humility in a good way without damaging self-worth? Can child be disciplined enough to understand the difference between humility, pride and entitlement as ‘your majesty the child. It is important to let the child understand respect for self and others including the parents. The parents cannot indulge the child at beck and call go become a spoilt brat and antisocial unable to relate with other children or respect authority.102017208_univ_lsr_mdYOU SHOULD KNOW

In recent decades, parents have been encouraged to yield to their children’s desires; to praise them generously, even if they did nothing praiseworthy; to withhold correction and discipline. It was thought that if children were made to feel special, they would grow up with healthy self-esteem. What has results shown? The book Generation Me states: that “Instead of creating well-adjusted, happy children, self-esteem movement created army of little narcissists.” The children raised with an unconditional praise have grown up unprepared for disappointments, criticism, occasional failure. Because of being taught to focus on their own desires, they find it hard as adults to form lasting relationships. As a result, many suffer from anxiety and depression. Children develop real self-worth, not by being constantly told they are special, but through genuine accomplishments. That requires more than believing in themselves. They need to learn, practice, and refine chosen skills carefully. Proverbs 22:29 says they also need to care about other people’s needs. 1 Corinthians 10:24 emphasises all thess require humility.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Give praise when it is truly deserved. If your daughter scores well on a school test commend her. If she gets low grade, do not automatically blame the teacher. That would hardly help your daughter learn humility. Help her to see how she may do better next time and reserve praise for actual accomplishment.

Give correction when necessary. This does not mean you should criticize your child for every mistake. Colossians 3:21 says serious errors should be corrected as well as wrong attitudes. Otherwise, these become deeply ingrained. For example, suppose your child shows a tendency to brag, if uncorrected they could become conceited and begin to alienate others. Explain to the child that boasting makes them look bad and that it could set them up for embarrassment as Proverbs 27:2 warns. Explain, that a person with balanced view of self does not feel the need to broadcast  abilities to others. Giving correction in spirit of love, you will teach humility without hurting self-respect.​ The Bible instructs parents on children’s input and Bible principles in Matthew 23:12.

Prepare your child for life’s realities. Indulging a child’s every wish can cause him to feel entitled. So, for example, if your child wants something you cannot afford, explain why it is necessary to live within a budget. If you have to cancel an outing or a vacation, you could explain that disappointments are part of life and perhaps discuss how you deal with such disappointments. Rather than shield your children from every hardship, prepare them for challenges they face as adults says Proverbs 29:21.

Encourage giving. Prove to your child that “there is more happiness in giving than in receiving as Acts 20:35 shows. Together prepare list of people in need of help with shopping, transportation, or repair work. Then take your child along as you assist some of them. Allow your child to see your joyful satisfaction as you care for the needs of others. That way you will teach your child humility in the most powerful way​ by example. according Luke 6:38.

EXTRO/INTRO/VERT BRAINS

1-e1455075514539Above llustrations show the differences between extrovert brain straight to the point and introvert brain analytical so what is it like in introvert’s head as Liz Fosslien and Mollie West shows some of these differences when compared with extroverts brain. Extroverts are said to be more active full of energy excitement while some introverts sometimes feel misunderstood. When one visualizes what is going on inside both brains one is surprised to note the differences. Six illustrations inside the heads are:5

Introverts pay more inbuilt attention to details, spatial information, knowledge taking in their surroundings compared to extroverts. According to an introvert advantage by Marti Olsen Laney, some introverts have longer neural pathway for processing stimuli. Information runs through their pathway associated with long-term memory and planning. It is more complicated for some introverts to process interactions and events. 6As they process information, introverts are carefully attending to their internal thoughts and feelings at the same time. Therefore slower in decision making to join in if busy or prefer own company. An extrovert may see introvert boring, but they are easily bored but complain introverts are too serious, not fun to be with so extroverts always in search of new adventure. But soon fed up need a fix to be stimulated in mind. Introverts often remains calm when extrovert gets agitated and carried away by restless fidgeting emotions. Uleash fear and stir panic unaware of inherent personality traits and behaviour patterns.4-1

According to studies by psychologist Hans Eysenck, introverts require less stimulation from the world in order to be awake and alert than extroverts do. This means introverts are more easily over-stimulated. The flip side of introverts’ sensitivity to dopamine is that they need less of it to feel happy. Extroverts’ brains run on an energy-spending nervous system, whereas introverts’ brains run on an energy-conserving nervous system. This is why introverts feel content and energized when reading a book, thinking deeply, or diving into their rich inner world of ideas. Introverts’ brain is not strongly rewarded for gambling or taking risks as extroverts’ brains are. The brain’s reward and pleasure system activated naturally within their own dopamine neurotransmitters. Scientists found that extroverts’ brains responded with more pleasure to positive gambling results. So introverts feel less excitement from any surprise or risk. 3-e1455075717748The introvert’s brain treats interactions with people at same intensity level it treats encounters in detail checking it out with passion as same as inanimate objects. Introverts process everything in their surroundings and pay attention to all the sensory details in environment, not just the people. As introverts are thinking, they reach back into long-term memory to locate information. Introvert often compare old and new experiences when making a decision, which slows the processing down but leads to carefully thought-out decisions. This means that introverts have an active dialogue with themselves and usually walk around with many thoughts in their minds. So even at a party setting may not fully enjoy it like an extrovert.21-e1455076042154These descriptions are not necessarily a case in all extroverts or introverts as there are exceptions to every rule. The debate continues with some people in favour of these brain interpretations. It is necessary to treat individual people as own personal basis than a generic label lumping all into categories. These issues discussed also attempts to group people to help efficient use of available resources and expertise required. It is important to categorise people in terms of such brain data to allocate skills and talents correctly. Understanding a role best suited in each case and strengths also helps to make best use of time in social interactions. Some find these differences intriguing and fascinating. It is necessary to know some people have traces of both extrovert and introvert in them so sometimes actively outgoing to socialise while at times wants privacy to create, paint, design, read, write, sing or meditate on the presence of God alone. So neither is better than the other just differences that surface so recognised.