DO TOYS DISTRACT FOCUS?

Children become distracted when they are surrounded by toys Too many toys are bad for children as a study suggests that the children become distracted when they are surrounded by too many toys. This is what the parents have suspected all along. Children who have too many toys are more also easily distracted so do not enjoy that quality playtime with other children as the new study suggest. Researchers at University of Toledo in Ohio, US, recruited some 36 toddlers and invited them to play in a room for half an hour, with either four toys, or 16 toys. They found youngsters were far more creative when they had fewer toys to play with. And they played with each for twice as long, thinking up more uses for each toy and lengthening and expanding their games. The authors conclude parents, schools and nurseries should pack away most of their toys and just rotate a small number regularly, to help encourage the children to become more creative to improve the attention spans of the children. This study sought to determine if the number of toys in a toddlers’ environments influences their quality of play,” said the lead author Dr Carly Dauch in journalInfant Behaviour and Development.“The higher number of incidences of play in 16 toy condition did interfere with duration and depth of play. Other toys present created their external distractions. “During toddler years, children develop but not master, higher levels of control over attention. And their attention plus their play was disrupted by factors in an environment present with distractions. The results of the present study suggest an abundance of toys create distractions. But provided with fewer toys in their environments the toddlers engaged in longer periods of play with single toy allowing better focus to explore, play more creatively.”Getting rid of toys encourages children to read more or paint, say researchers Getting rid of toys encourages children to read more or paint, says researchers. Britons spend more than £3 billion each year on toys and surveys shows that a typical child owns 238 toys in total but parents think they play with just the 12 ‘favourites’ on a daily basis making up just five per cent of their toys. It is not the first time research suggested that too many toys distract children. In the 1990s the German researchers, Elke Schubert and Rainer Strick conducted experiment where the toys were taken away from Munich nursery for three months. After a few weeks, the children re-adjusted and their play became far more creative and social. The published research of their findings in their book, called, The Toy-free Nursery. In another book, ClutterFree with Kids the author, Joshua Becker also argued fewer toys are better for children because a sparse playroom encourages creativity to help children develop attention span and to teach youngsters about taking care of their possessions. “A child will rarely learn to fully appreciate the toy in front of them when there countless options are still remaining on the shelf behind them,” he said. “When children have too many toys, they will naturally take less care of them. And they will not learn to value them if there is their replacement ready at hand. “Fewer toys causes these children to become more resourceful by solving problems with only materials at hand. And resourcefulness is a gift with unlimited practical uses in their futures.

The research is published in the journal Infant Behaviour and Development. The conflict of interest of the toy companies advertising children playing with many latest toys makes parents feel obliged to buy them for the children not to feel left out. Children display their toys online on social media to compare with each other including the addictive games that stop children learning, doing homework assignments later in college, university or focus at work. Lack attention span or focus from childhood affects the adults today unable concentrate for few hours to complete tasks at hand. Christmas is around and parents must not let a child manipulate them emotionally to buy a toy without teaching them first value of essential basic reading at level. Children can get a few educational toy to reward them to do exceptionally well in a field of academic achievement at school. The development steared towards a specific direction of any future career requires relevant toys to influence natural gifts, talents and abilities. Otherwise parents unintentionally make children victim of success by their ability to buy too many toys they can afford. Just because it is possible to buy things seen on the TV in adverts does not mean it enhances their specific development. Parent knows the children best, whether they are trained experts or not must help child learn not to depend only on school to learn. Early learning through practical play is now rapidly eroded by virtual reality keep children cocooned online. So important to carefully reflect before Christmas on piling up toys to “prove” your “love” of your children to the world overloading them with too many toys. Experience shows most children are just so happy playing with the box, not expensive toys boosting their parents ego. Millennium children are suffering from the lack of a social understanding or interaction due to isolated attachment to toys valued as more precious than engaging with each other. Time consumed worrying about their toy possessions makes them miss out on appreciating fellow human being as adults due to learned behaviour. The competition among children, teenagers over toys leads further to threats of the perceived anger of friends loving them only for their material possessions. The toys must not take over to babysit their children without adult supervision and input. One of the best ways to bond with children is play with them sometimes to help them value the adults in their lives.

HAPPIER IN BIGGER HOUSE?

isbUK is said experiencing a dire shortage of living space, but does having more room necessarily make people more content? It is common to hear concerns about pokey new-builds and sky-high rents forcing people into ever smaller homes. But the reality is that living spaces in England and Wales are larger than ever, with the average home increasing from 88 to 90 square metres between 2004 and 2016. Instead, the issue is distribution of space is more unequal. The owner occupiers has lots of space compared with young renters sharing a home with several others. In 2017, about 28% of UK households contained one person, up from 17% in 1971. But the proportion of families and individuals sharing private rented housing has almost tripled since 1992 to 6.6%, according toresearch by the Resolution Foundation think tank. So, does more space always mean happier occupants, or is there a cut-off point?Housing in numbers datapic

Status and neighbours

A London-based colleague recently told me about her aunt coming to visit her from Hong Kong. Upon seeing her shoe-box bedroom, she was filled not with pity, but with envy. The aunt had grown up seven people to one room, and thought this living arrangement the height of luxury. This illustrates how the level of space that we expect or aspire to can depend on what we are used to. Even after people move to a bigger house, it may not take long for them to start to feel like they don’t have enough. Surveying almost 1,000 people who chose to upsize their home, my research found that housing satisfaction initially increased after a move by 1.2 points on a seven-point scale. But within three years, this rise had diminished by about 30% as people’s space expectations increased.Chart showing housing satisfaction rises before a house move before diminishing

You might think that people with very big houses would be more satisfied with their property. Found increase beyond four rooms per person resulted in no uplift in housing satisfaction at all. This category is likely to include some older people who would like a smaller space but are reluctant to leave the family home. Even for the average household, more space may not necessarily lead to more happiness. Our space expectations are conditioned by where lived before, but by neighbours. Because house size is status symbol feels worse off if other people get larger houses. A recent US study found increase in size of largest 10% of superstar houses had significant negative effect on their neighbours, Woman prepares food with her daughterThose people who moved into a bigger home, previous surveys have suggested people would be prepared to have less living space overall if it meant less than others. Rising cost of ‘normal’ is not to say everyone is consciously competing with their neighbours over who has the biggest house. Most concern of a house size may stem from underlying desire to fit in to do things considered “normal.”  This could be having dinner around the family table or watching TV on the sofa which requires what is considered to be a “normal” level of living space. If home sizes increase then so does the amount of space we feel like we need just to keep up. If all have space for home gym having friends round for a workout could well become as normal as having them round for dinner.Couple looking at big houseCounting the costs as a nation, do not seem to be getting any happier with our housing, even though living space and housing conditions have improved for many people. The US-based study draws similar conclusions. It suggests people living in a detached house, satisfaction stayed the same since the 1980s as the amount of space per person has grown by about 40%, to more than 900 square feet. People moving into bigger homes comes with costs. Spending more on housing means people incurring more mortgage debt, working longer hours, or commuting longer distance, building more homes has significant irreversible environmental costs. An overwhelming case is to provide genuinely affordable housing for those suffering in cramped, unaffordable living conditions. Beyond this increase is if average living spaces improve wellbeing society is debated. This analysis piece was commissioned by the BBC from an expert working for an outside organisation. Dr Chris Foye is knowledge exchange associate with the University of Glasgow, UK Collaborative Centre for Housing Evidence. His role is building relationships between housing researchers, policymakers, practitioners and residents. 

SAD WINTER DEPRESSION

171629_20140102_170028_timeSeasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) used to affect me so badly at times I was in bed for days. Also known as the ‘winter depression’ is exacerbated by loss and grief, pain to become unfit and unwell not very actively doing any work for all such reasons or no particular reasons. I did not feel like bubbly self but wanted the curtains drawn during the daytime. I became unwell at times bed ridden for days. It happened consistently for years until my doctor told me about SAD as a condition that affects people during the cold months of transition from summer to winter. The body feels changes in the weather so responds in a different way making people feel sad, down, anxious and depressed. These changes happen so some people dread winter months of returning to work, school in September. Autumn to Winter shorter, colder days seem like a gloomy prospect. Autumn can worsen anxiety and depression as experts say, so why does it affect us and can we beat the blues. I discovered the reason was less Sunshine means less light affects brain parts that control mood swings when it is colder too. Some few people manage to escape into hot zones during winter months for a while. But few people are privileged to escape harsh cold winter. It affects people if too busy to take care of self in a healthy way. Being too busy doing too many things to manage own personal life due to the other demands on time and attention given others often seen as more urgent than own personal needs for quality time. Any yes person understands that trying to help others mostly in crises after waiting too long drains the mind and sometimes too late to seek help. During such times can feel obliged to jump in at deep end to rescue others until one has a burn out.01_Silent_signs_seasonal_depression_disorder_SAD_good_zzs_yanyong Realise doing so for years means hardly any time left to meet personal needs. Its really SAD that awoke me to change my lifestyle to be able to stay healthy to overcome SAD moments consistently. I discovered solutions that help deal with SAD by increasing light, strong light is helpful to provide similar effects of the Sunshine light. Special halogen lamp helps body to adapt to mood changes and mood swings as the light and heat combined transforms the brain. It is important to open the curtains to get Sunlight and fresh air. To wear a winter clothing suitable for the weather rather than about fashion and image. It is necessary to wear good soled shoes with foot warmer insoles to protect the feet from cold affecting brains neurons connected to the feet. A warm feet and hands, face equals good moods so cover up well in winter clothing. Although the Sun seems bright it is not really hot as in the summer months. If indoors and getting up to dress for the outdoors remember indoor room temperature is warmer so do not dress by indoor warm temperatures. Carry a spare clothings for any unpredictable changes in the weather to be safe than sorry. Be aware of the fabrics best for winter clothing and wear them earlier in Autumn than wait for coldest winter. This changed my life as body preserves summer heat throughout into winter not waiting for freezing cold months to put on warm clothes. My body and feet even sweat in winter as if still summer days. I am active in winter again eating healthier hot foods to keep my body temperature up. I ensure my sleep improves by time routine structure. My sleep pattern gets better by a set room conditions adapted to let body wind down to sleep better. insomnia2-1038x576If not mind becomes fogged by lack of sleep, red eyes, inability to focus. Extra effort is required make changes to get better results, rest, rest, rest from exhaustion, tiredness, fatigue, stress, pressure, noise pollution, fuels SAD. Distract yourself by playing crosswords, puzzles to improve brain muscles. If not on any emergency standby call of duty it is wise to switch phone off at night. Tell all people to call you only at certain times unless it is an urgent call, cut down the online time to give your brain rest. If the work entails online duties cut down on the personal browsing for “fun” as mind overworked does not get rest to replenish brain cells and the tissues vital for your well-being. Resist urge to stay sloppy, unkempt unwashed, not getting out of bed with the curtains drawn in your comfort zone. Even if cannot afford hot bath daily, top and tail and change clothes. Do not let yourself drift into an oblivion by pity party feeling sorry for yourself. Invite people over to force you to make effort to do something, ask for help, maintain your home and ask any friends to bring meals to share. Bake or buy good meals to share, charities are serving food and food banks are helping help yourself. So important not to let life overwhelm you. A good friend surprised the depressed friend with this homemade cake though not valentine day to cheer friend up. IMG_20170701_214235340

Do not be so private or proud to isolate yourself and hide because you do not feel good, it only gets worse until some cannot leave the house for years. Go out frequently and spend quality time at home to rest. Its these combinations of outdoors and indoors that helps you to get better. Volunteer, if you have no job at the moment, offer to help neighbours to run errands for them, etc and get joy of building others up its a great healer of mood swings. As you step outside self to focus on others you bring joy to them and yourself. In turn, no more isolated, so belong to a choir, music group other community support project help change moods. Take good quality vitamins to boost body’s energy level performance in winter months especially. Rest is very important to continue feeling better and emotionally stronger. Tell your friends and family about these changes asking them to help you keep up with the new plans you put in place. Exercise helps and keeping healthy friends to support you maintain changes is wonderful. You may help some improve their mood too. In extreme cases of clinically depressed people, doctors help with medication to lift the moods. So do not tough it out by yourself alone, seek help as I did years ago to share the results with you. If you have underlying deep-rooted causes of depression talking therapy or cognitive behaviour therapy required depending on issues dealt with. Remember to give place to God in Christ in life as it makes life easier to bear assured of eternal life.today-is-the-right-timeAs the weather is here to stay you must prepare to be able to function without blaming the weather. In fact changes in the weather is essential for carbon cycle regeneration so work with the weather not against it. “Every year I tell myself this is the last winter I can do in the UK,” says Cal Strode, 25, who lives in London and has seasonal affective disorder (SAD), a condition can bring on low moods and depression during autumn and winter. “It’s already starting to look darker and colder, and is when I tend to feel low and lack energy.” SAD affects about one in 15 people in UK between the months of September and April, according to the NHS. For more serious sufferers, it can prevent people from functioning normally during the autumn and winter months and is thought to be caused by lack of light, as well as other factors such as colder temperatures and the return to normal routines. Anxiety UK, a mental health charity, also says it expects to receive more calls to its helpline in September saying far fewer people contact the charity about anxiety and depression when the sun is shining.

‘My mood dropped’

Cal, who works for the Mental Health Foundation charity, was diagnosed with SAD six years ago when he was studying abroad in the US. “I was in San Diego and went home for Christmas, when suddenly my mood dropped and it felt like I had no energy to do anything,” he says. “It was supposed to be a happy time with my family and celebrations but I was staying in bed until the late afternoon.” With SAD, the lack of light is thought to affect the part of the brain that rules sleep and energy levels. As September looms, Cal plans to spend 45 minutes a day next to a light box to alleviate his symptoms, but admits finding the time can be uphill struggle. “Even on the way to work this week I thought this is such a beautiful day and my mood was so uplifted by it,” he says.A lunch on a pile of notepads, back to school

Back to school

Even for people without the disorder, September can be a difficult time as school starts and workplaces get busier. Added to this, the weather worsens, days get shorter, and it is a long wait until the next bank holiday over Christmas. “We see it every year; summer really does impact people’s moods,” says Nicky Lidbetter, chief executive of Anxiety UK. “People feel more resilient and able to cope when the sun is shining,” says Ms Lidbetter. “Summer is a time when it’s a more relaxed atmosphere in general, there is less traffic on the roads, it’s not as structured.” Autumn can leave us “pining that summer is gone”, she says, especially if any grand plans failed to materialise. “Even if we left school a long time ago, September feels like a time to be more serious and that can instil a sense of anxiety,” she says. But it is not all bad psychologists say we thrive on routine since it brings about structure and offers us a chance to be around people. “After a period of relaxation there’s the stress of a new academic year, or work getting busy, but also healthy routines and habits,” says Dr Sherylin Thompson, a counselling psychologist. “It can be worse if you’re feeling stuck in the routine, and haven’t got a choice, but it can be a chance to change things.” She suggests preparing for September by picking a new challenge or vowing not to give up on a hobby or activity you did during summer. “Keep up health habits, keep up socialising that would usually revive you in good company,” she says. Clinical psychologist Dr Camilla Rosan from Mental Health Foundation adds: “Over the summer people go on lots of holidays and they aren’t always around, now’s an opportunity to see friends.” She recommends planning days in advance, including going to the gym and seeing people. “When the days are shorter, it is important to make a clear routine about when we’re going to fit in exercise, get to the gym, see our friends,” she says. “The weather and light might be stopping us from going outdoors, but stuck at home when it’s dark and dismal into opportunity.” Cal makes an effort to eat well and avoid comfort food during the autumn and winter months. “Some days I don’t feel like I have the energy to cook, and you can crave fast foods high in fat and carbohydrates,” he says. “I’ll try to spend time over the weekends making something like a big bean stew that will last throughout week it is not sunshine but it helps.” Recognise features of this condition affects extreme behaviours or perfectionist tendencies from childhood so deal with the root causes of anxiety. Woman in a forest with autumnal treesListen to advise from the therapist to clarify thoughts in yout head. Not eating properly means losing weight which is very low for any healthy size suitable for you. Do not be angry if people say you are thin and be offended. Check if daily performances gets worse and worse and more more isolated to a point you identify not ok and not yourself anymore to completely lose yourself. Admitting issues helps to solves problems before it gets worse. Do not hide away and refuse to see anybody and stay in the bedroom thinking people are ashamed of you. Even in the depths of struggles set life goals to qualify and achieve a better you. Do not spent years trying to avoid to speaking anyone or be fluctuating in thought so not happy in yourself. Get a therapist at any point and start working through older issues that you may not realise exist affecting you. Deeper issues will be unravelled so things you never knew existed in your head to overcome anxiety depression. Clear your head and do not be forever angry and bitter, hot tempered, easily offended, narcissistic control freak, highstrung, uptight and explosive, raging inconsiderate temper tantrums, hysterical negative temperament anxiously living in fear and confused in thought. Do not be hyper alert feeling like being judged, on trial, scrutinized etc even fof helpful advise and support that enhances your welbeing. It is important not to project hurts or pain to those around because you blame all except yourself for all problems. Set long term and short life goals to achieve, be committed, disciplined, firm, filled with confidence. Understand the fickleness of human relationship require personal selfcontrol and tolerance. Search the meaning of your life to understand life on deeper level. Enjoy life, stay humble, encourage yourself in the Lord like King David did in his most formative years whether a young man or woman or adult. Remember, that the most permanent influences shaping your worldview is priceless quality time growing up in family. Do not become paranoid, shattered in the maelstrom of vengeful anger. Do not humiliate those who care or help you be strong when criticised. It is good to learn to survive on wits to develop emotional toughness not victim mentality but independence of thought. Reflect on ability to listen to other points of view without necessarily bowing to all of them. Learn to enjoy errors pointed out but not swayed too much by that. God corrects those HE LOVES so stand corrected and do not be obsessive about being always right. Just because so-and-so says something does not start weighing cost and benefit to lose appetite over it. Give in to good helpful advise to build you up. The Bible says give advise to a wise person and they thank you and become wiser. Give advise to a fool and he will hate you so choose your words carefully knowing when to apply golden rule in life at all times show kindness to even those who misunderstand your motives because you do things unto the LORD.

Rebloged and Updated

MOVING IN TOGETHER

10-Signs-Its-a-Good-Idea-to-Move-in-with-Your-PartnerMoving in and living together is seen as most exciting time ever if a relationship is going well. Often many factors include being closer together because deeply in love and economic reasons. After falling in love the next level is planning future together hopefully for life. The focus of excitement to see it happen absolutely is amazing. You just cannot wait to cook dinner together, feel super domestic, and yeah, maybe you want to show off to friends you not only landed an awesome boyfriend but committing to each other even more. You know that you definitely deserve to be happy about this and even sure you are right because you got far to this point. You may think you can still mess things up or make some mistakes but decides to go ahead anyway. This is often the case for some people when one is totally fixated on these things so your relationship does not end. Researchers find 15 useful points couples must note when moving in together.Young Adult Using Laptop

1. Thinks Life Stays Same

Many think life at the beginning of their relationship stays in the same romantic phase permanently in state of euphoria. Hence choices and planning of decisions are based on utopia mindset of perfect happiness. Being in love means to them everything harmonises perfectly in state of synchronicity. The truth is anytime a big step is taken in relationship it means things are going to change. It is not a bad thing at all but means you have to admit that something has shifted and there is a new dynamic you need to deal with it. So a lot of couples make the mistake of not thinking anything changes when they decide to live together. Again, it is not anything negative it is just something to keep an eye on. By bringing two lives together essentially each has a different habit when it comes to how you live. So maybe you are a morning person and you kind of annoy everyone but hey, they are jealous and your partner is a total night owl. That means things can change a little bit. You might have to go to bed at separate times or find other times of day to hang out. You have to just figure this out but it’s definitely possible.15.jpg

2. SuperHigh Expectation

Most relationship definitely face super high expectations of each other some almost humanly impossible. So having super high expectations and partner not meeting them causes anger, frustrations and dissatisfaction. Maybe they do not know what you want them to do so they cannot meet them as they are not mind readers. Maybe they cannot meet them because you want too much and so they cannot give you what you are looking for. Unrealistic expectations can ruin totally or break a relationship. When you move in, you do not want to have crazy high expectations that no sane person could ever meet, let alone the person you love. Many couples make this mistake. They think moving in together totally solves problems in their relationship just for a while but think the negative completely disappears except the very best stuff. It is not real life so not the right way to go. Think of MasterChef with the identical ingredients, scales, cookers, tools, recipe given to a team of professionals. After watching practical demonstration of the exact recipe perfectly made by a gourmet chef their meals never look or taste the same. A certain level of experience and a personal touch always produces better quality. In the same manner, nobody can perfectly replicate exact clone of loved one no matter how deeply in love they may be. Worth noting love alone is not enough to transform anyone overnight into an image of fantasy partner existing inside one’s head. Some people never think anyone is perfect for them so need to create one themselves.   moving-in.jpg
3. Doing It For The Money

Sometimes it seems a good idea to move into a place together because financially it is a good idea. But you have to make sure you think about this. Just because you find a place that you are absolutely in love with does mean that you should make decision that you can both afford so check long-term if good idea to move in together. First of all, before you decide to live together you need to have a talk with written agreement to ensure you keep up with whatever decisions made. This means that both of you are willing and ready. Often times if you fall in love with a place and think that this is a good idea before taking the necessary steps you will realize that it can cause a whole lot of issues for the two of you. Make sure you are not moving at a faster pace than your relationship is ready for.moving-in-together.jpg

4. Respecting Differences

Again, you and your partner might have way more differences than you know and those things only become super- clear after you move in together. You could be a neat freak and they could be furthest thing from that. You must respect fact they thinking you are nagging always on their case to clean up or do dishes, if not you are asking for a major relationship trouble. You have to respect differences and talk about this properly. You can say something like, “Hey, I get it does not bother you if dirty dishes are left in the sink, but I do not love it, so maybe we can take turns.” If they truly love you so hopefully does since you are now living together is a pretty massive step. You, need to understand where both come from to negotiate teamwork and learn to agree to disagree on other differences.article-0-1842F93C00000578-336_634x373.jpg

5. Seeing Each Other 24/7

When couples move in together because they want to spend more time together, after already spending time hanging out and staying over at each other’s places they figure out it is time and they might as well live together. It just makes total and complete sense as a really great next step. But if you think moving in with a partner  means that you should see each other 24/7, you are on the wrong track. Yes, you love one another and yes, you want to see each other as much as you possibly can. But you both still need to live your own lives and see your families and see your friends and keep up your hobbies and interests. Do not just drop everything and everyone in your life now because you live with your partner. That is asking for a total disaster. Be honest about how much space you need and do the same partner and family.55_dating_advice-909388-TwoByOne

6.Nagging & Complaining

Pointing out what is wrong instead of an appreciation of what is right is nagging. Why ignore a 90% strong points to zoom in on 10% weaknesses as long as it is not a risk to life or aggressive behaviour that causes harm or any danger. Be honest are you perfect yourself? Nagging is the projection of self onto others to compel them to behave exactly like you. In other words you want your identical clone to just like you. You already know this is making a total and complete stereotype, so honestly, why would you do this? Do you want your partner to hate you and resent you and eventually leave you? You definitely want to cut this out and soon. A lot of couples make mistake of nagging each other when they move in together, so yes, it definitely goes both ways and guys can do this, too, even if you don’t think so. Your might ask to chill out a little bit about chores and taking care of apartment or might say you are hanging out with your friends too much and nag you about how you need to spend more time at home. Do your best and say you both need to communicate properly and that neither one of you should make the other one feel bad.First-Time-House-Buyers.jpg

7. Both Being Honest

Sometimes couples living together are not totally honest about what they each want. Maybe wants a certain apartment but your partner hates it so did not push for it or vice versa. Is not ideal situation if both move into an apartment and you do not both absolutely adore it, but yeah, it does happen. If you’ve moved in with someone before, you’ve probably made the mistake of not being honest about the kind of living accommodations that you’re looking for, and if you haven’t lived with anyone yet, you definitely will in the future. It is just one of the things that usually happens for good reason to make partner happy so wants the same thing for you, so you tiptoe around this kind of issue and act like everything is totally fine. Until, of course, it all comes crashing down later on always be honest because if not you pay it for it later.first_time_home_buyer_north_carolina_350

8. Treating As Y/our Place

Avoid mistake of acting an apartment is still totally yours if your partner moved in with you, you are not alone there. The same thing applies if you move into their apartment or you got a totally new place altogether. The truth is a place belongs to both of you now and you definitely have to get used to that. You cannot just invite people over without telling your partner and vice versa, and you cannot decorate it however, cannot randomly rearrange furniture without telling other person. You just cannot unless you want to start a huge argument and then, by all means, go ahead. This is part of what makes living together so new and difficult. It is not all fun and games as there are some real decisions to make with your partner. Even if you take initiative or want to surprise it is good to have approval out of respect not belittle partner. Hopefully, you will get used to realizing you share space now and things will be okay.Happy-Homeowners-(Website)-77267-1

9.Being Choosy & Picky

Being choosy, picky and overdemanding in the name of perfection drains partner emotionally. If you refuse to put up any painting your partner’s grandmother had given them or even painted because you claim it is super ugly and does not go with the rest of the apartment decor, you are not only being a jerk but making also a huge mistake. Same goes if actions any favourite pillow means a lot to you, so super attached to it. Many couples make mistake of deciding to live tougher and then getting super picky about furniture and decorations. It is easy to not see the forest from the trees, as they say to care so much about small irrelevant things that you do not realize the big picture of what really matters. The big picture of course, is that you love someone enough to live with them. That is no small thing. Choose safe well-structured wardrobes to use without falling apart easily posing risk especially to small children or infirm in household. Ensure best quality and durable safe bed/rooms, electric, gas pipes checked to ensure safety. Be realistic and do repairs regularly for peace of mind.Rido.jpg

10.Housewarming Parties

You want to have a housewarming party when you move into a new place and so desire goes up about a million points as you are moving in with your partner. You want to housewarming party, asking for tons of trouble and do not realize how much this strain on your relationship. The same thing will definitely happen if your partner wants to throw party earlier than you do or tries to control the whole thing. Talk to each other openly honestly about when you both want to throw this party and definitely think plan together the details and costs or clean up after.man-woman-floor-boxes-lying-down.jpg

11. Being A United Team 

Yeah, you have been living alone for a while now, and even though you’ve been in this happy and serious relationship, you have still had your own space. You could do what you want, when you want, and you made decisions about going to sleep or when to cook or when to clean without having to ask someone else if it  is okay. But now you are part of a team and it is not just your space anymore, so  that is a huge change. A lot of couples make mistake of not acting like they are part of a team now that they moved in together. You cannot just rearrange your entire living room without talking to the partner or decide to retile the bathroom floor without them running it by you first. You have to talk things out and figure them out together. If you do not want to do it this living arrangement might not work neither will relationship.article-2537031-0409F75F00000514-609_634x376.jpg

12.On The Best Behaviour

Yes, of course, you want to be on your best behaviour around other people, but around your romantic partner? Why would not just be yourself to relax a little bit more? A lot of couples think  when they move in together, they should not walk around in ugly sweats anymore or do the things they used to do. But that is a huge mistake and so wrong. You are sharing your life with your partner now, along with your apartment and deserve to be yourself and be real as possible. You can absolutely break out your ugliest sweatpants or slippers and just might become inside joke between two of you, which is totally cool. You should not be afraid to relax and act the way you did before when you just lived alone both do the same thing within reason, of course. You may not want to see the messiest so hopefully can reign it a little bit you two.couple-fighting-on-couch

13. Fighting Too Much

Some couples move in together and then automatically start fighting too much. The thing is this does not have to happen at all so can absolutely work hard to prevent it. It is easier to fight with someone you see all the time every single day. You expect them to figure things out so there is no reason to tell them exactly what is on your mind but you should be honest all the time. And yes, honesty is a good idea yet there is a fine line between honesty and being kind of mean and cruel. Do not be honest you hurt your partner’s feelings. If you both just share intimacy together but cannot seem stop bickering about little stuff, you need to set some ground rules and boundaries. Talk about how you will divide up chores, domestic stuff like cooking and cleaning. Until you figure that out you will keep fighting so not good for anyone.cohabiting_couple_182624410

14. Expecting Romance

This is a huge mistake lots of couples make, and is a pretty obvious one. Of course, you think things are going to be super romantic 24/7 when actually living with one you love the most in the world. But that does not take into account being sick, being exhausted, being stressed out at work and general life stuff. Moving in together is kind of like getting a taste of what is married life so you definitely will deal with a lot of things you never had to deal with before. You must be open and honest with each other about literally all you are dealing with, whether you want to or not. If you do not sleep together  every single night or have the hottest love life ever, that is not a bad thing. That means your relationship matures as love changes and gets back to normal. A point to remember is libido changes with small children so find new hide outs for timing intimacy passion. You need to be creative as not same as just the two of you before raising family.

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15. Have Zero Problems

You cannot have children then expect the home to remain as if you live in a show room because the house is an investment to sell on. Some do not let children sit on sofa, play, roll on floor in living room so raised like little soldier’s in ‘the sound of music.’ Perfect children and families only happily ever after relationship happens in TV drama, Mills and Boon’s romantic novels, real life is warts and all. Couples think once they make important decision to move in together are truly committing to each other so will have zero problems. If things get more complicated when you move in with someone it is normal but, that is not a bad thing at all unless you make it one. Both are own whole people and with your own thoughts, feelings, ideas and you have your own schedules and routines. Those are bound to clash so that is okay. That is what is supposed to happen. Do your best to be patient as the two of you get used to your new living situation and work out the issues within a good frame of time. Just because you are having a bit of trouble getting used to living together does not mean things are heading in a negative direction. Some recommend not moving in together before marriage often it does not work out in favour of the majority   who tried due to lack of commitment. At other times couples need support of the family members and friends to survive. So it is wise in both best interest not to exclude isolate or burn love bridges as you are too deeply involved to make room for any other person. That is too close for comfort so can suffocate the relationship. Above all, God said it is not good to be alone so seek God’s Face to guide and help you build up a sound foundation. Do not let your picker or physical looks attraction be the only deciding factor of relationship. A reliable interdependent relationship nurtures love essential to a mature love. Life is dynamic so changes take place daily in both if children are involved. Create play corner, child space include learning and music. Continue to date once a month minimum and get a baby sitter and do not call every second instead of relaxing with your partner. If possible for stability of children choose a location nearby with schools, church and parks locally. Aim for property longterm so children will not miss out on forming durable friendships and family support. Pay closer attention to household chores like removing rubbish. USD multilayered plastic bags if suitable inlaid with paper to soak wet waste that is not made into compost. Separate to recycle useful gabbage because one man’s thrash is another’s treasure. Keep baby waste out doors in safe covered bins do not breath it indoors including removing cat litter from tray daily for good hygiene practice.Small-trash-can-with-our-bag__pp-300x300bin5final1-1024x769.jpg

16. Household Duties

Shopping, cooking, laundry and cleaning duties among others must meticulously planned and not left to chance. Both will do certain tasks better so agree and make a to do list to remind yourself if not able to hire a housekeeper to do it for you. A happy life depends on smooth  running of the home and good time schedules as part of a team working together. Simple tips include advance preparation to be ahead of time. A dustbin layered with many bags with disinfectant in between each saves time to remove rubbish. Also clear water closet with clean tissue on top of unflashed loo, push down brush left in during flashing to cut the cost of calling plumber every five minutes. It prevents ungastly sight of a heavy soiling stubborn stains on brush that refuse to be shifted by flashing alone. Persist and repeat process many times until clean for next use. Never let toilet brush directly touch loo instead use tissues to form a barrier to keep the brush clean from harbouring germs and bacteria. After flashing loo, use fresh clean tissue to pick and wipe handle, disinfect brush after cleaning and wash hands thoroughly. Soak brush in a disinfectant  container holding brush in the toilet to continue daily disinfectation. If at first you do not succeed try again to leave brush inside bowl with tissue covering loo and flash but do not stuff lavatory with tissues out of sheer frustration to cost you plumber fees. If not sure what to do leave it with the experts in case it is a pipe blockage elsewhere. Life can be easily managed if you know how.

COLOUR FASHION PASSION

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What colour should YOU be wearing this summer? Experts tell us what your hue says about you – and how to look your best throughout the warm weather. An article on colour impacting life reminds me of the colour psychology we learnt about favourite popular colours and the impact on feelings of clients especially those vulnerable to a particular colour. Sponsored by Dove Invisible, Martha De Lacey, Mailonline on 30 Jun 2016, wrote and updated this interesting article. So here are the issues limited out to guide in choosing the appropriate colours for any occasion. As styles vary it can used guidelines to help choose a colour more suitable for an outfit desired by wearer. After wearing smart casuals all week to work you will want to dress up a bit to glam up for an event. That is often time mostly women spend frustrated by tons of clothing spread on the bed after trying them on yet complains nothing to wear. This is made easy by instant choices of helping to colour code clothes best for certain places and special events.rBVaGFSP-ZKAaadoAAJPkxQef5g504Most people fancy a dress, like it buy it then wonder of the day to arrive to cease the moment to wear it. Sometimes it works so blends in well at times one stands out like a sore thumb completely out of place. Thereby losing the joy of celebration conscious of the clothes wishing to disappear but has to stay for courtesy sake. Awkward moments can be avoided by preparation and at times by people doing a bit of research to check possible colours of others wear to avoid clash of colour and styles. Even a jeans can be glamourised by colourful choice of beautiful accessories, beads, handbags and shoes. Instead of yet another day of lacklustre to reach for tired black jeans and white T-shirt combo can change a mood into cheerful summer style full of vibrant colours lifting the spirit up.beige-zara-jacket-neutral-zara-bag-tawny-forever-21-pants.jpg‘Often lots of women get stuck wearing neutrals colours such as grey, black and beige almost to the exclusion of all other colours,’ says personal stylist and colour consultant Suzanne Arnold. She believes that when it comes to clothing, nothing has more of an impact than the colours you wear. ‘The colours we wear impact enormously on the way we feel. Though a natural introvert but frequently gives presentations to large audiences. Colour plays a huge role in helping her do this: bright oranges and reds give her energy and confidence. Back at home she wears greens and blues for a sense of harmony and balance. People respond to a colour subconsciously, but when you know how to use colour to help you deal with daily situations, you have a powerful ally.’Kritikaa’s-Spring-Summer-2013-Female-Fashion-Collection-2Wearing bright colours can really impact our mood and our self confidence. So of course, these during hot, muggy summer month the idea of wearing lovely bright colours is somewhat dampened by a fear of sweat marks. Infinitely more visible on a bright blue dress than a baggy black sweater. And that’s before we have even mentioned dreaded deodorant patches. Dove Invisible Dry Deodorant contains ¼ moisturising cream, unlike the other anti-perspirants, to give you beautifully soft and smooth underarms and freedom to wear whatever you like. An innovative formula, it has been proven to leave no white marks on 100 colours, which is a great news for the women wishing to use healthy colour to influence how people feel towards them or to change mood. So necessary to understand colour culture if visiting certain places, what to wear may be necessary to learn value of colours.tie-and-dye-springsummer-2016.jpg‘Colours can influence the way we feel,’ says colour the expert Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Colour Institute, who has written nine books on colour. ‘Brighter colours often seen as more “energetic”so on a day when you are feeling listless or trying to convince yourself to go to the gym put on a really vibrant colour like hot pink. It will lift your spirits and others will react to you in a more positive way as they perceive you as being positive in energy. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy people treat you in a certain way because of messages of the colours you wear, you give out the response associated with that particular colour so you will respond in kind. When we feel centred and empowered we are more likely to demonstrate this by the joy we take in colour continues Suzanne. ‘Often she finds that helping a person to recognise how to wear colour is a turning point in their life. It can have quite deep effect literally as it changes the way we see ourselves. Have confidence to wear brighter hue you will be surprised at the response you get! ‘When she sees the private clients and she analyses their colouring, hair, skin and eyes, she helps them to understand their personality type. All of this informs, as advice given to person who receives palette of 42 of best colours with advice of what to wear. Women’s-plus-size-clothing-trends-Spring-Summer-2016-3.jpgBusiness organisations ask to teach all employees about psychology of colour. They want to know how different colours impact people just as much as they want to know which colours complement the individuals.’ What does different colours say about your personality? How do you give your wardrobe the bright colourful, summery makeover to give people more positive impression of your character? Do not assume that the woman you see wearing red jacket is the most confident in the room, or that the one in the yellow shirt is the friendliest, explains Suzanne. It may just be that they know the colours they wear can give them a psychological support they need in the given situation. It is about how you wear your colours. A simple black dress could be transformed by a blush pink scarf, and would help the woman wearing it to feel more feminine too. What colours you wear say this:AdelleDress_RedLace_FRONT_1422402941image_frontRED is bold and stands out so the colour of wearing red makes feel confident and in control’, says Suzanne. ‘Scientifically with the longest wavelength red appears nearer than it actually is. Ideally if need of boosting your appearance because you are a quiet person in need of gravitas it is perhaps useful in business to use red. Be warned strong personalities in red can seem overpowering or aggressive.’ Best tone down colour for such a personality. ‘Red people like to stay on top of things and have a zest for life,’ adds Leatrice. ‘Key words associated with them are: intense, impulsive, adventurous, fun animated, optimistic, daring, sensual and sometimes aggressive.’ The most important thing is to know schedule so what is appropriate to wear. Elegant lace detailing on superfeminine, mid-length, bright red shift dress makes it perfect for special summer occasion. Sleeveless, tailored and subtle waistband provide fabulous definition to the person with a straighter figure to keep look dazzling red all night. A bright breezy wrap dress is an ideal summer frock, with a fuss-free cut, flattering cinched-waist and relaxed V-neckline. Perfect for pear-shaped women, hourglass curves, it is joyful, feisty dress waiting to wear for a post-work glass of rose. Seem sexy, but decent summery drama style off the shoulder cut works beautifully with any lightweight, loose and relaxed tunic styl terrific to show off arms confidently. A pair of pale skinny jeans to complement its bright red fieriness.Bohemia-Chiffon-Dress-Women-s-Fashion-Summer-Beach-Dress-Goddess-Womens-Short-Sleeveless-Summer-Maxi-Party.jpgBLUE is the most popular colour, and one representing logic, blue activates the mind,’ explains Suzanne. ‘Its effects are cerebral rather than physical, unlike red. Strong blues stimulates the mind for clear thinking if you need to decide about something important, wear blue. To communicate something if difficult blue helps create a calm atmosphere. Its shorter wavelength give blue appearance of distance helpful in tense situation. To wear blue is to be seen as trustworthy, a thinker and a good communicator but do watch out if find difficult to demonstrate feelings of emotional warmth blue gives impression of aloofness so better wear warm colours. A stunning, floor-length, Grecian-style dress in beautifully bright blue ideal fuller bust, longer leg, curves. A plunging V-neckline elasticated waist draws attention to best attribute but not OTT. A gorgeous, figure hugging, soft-touch jersey cotton dress of asymmetric hem features closecut bodycon fabulous shows off voluptuous hourglass figure. Wear dress with confidence on hot days relaxed, bright blue treat. Vertical lines cinched waistband flatter fuller middle, while skirt’s skater-esque flick give your summer festival twirl impressive moves.C-407-1-533x800GREEN is the colour of nature, so green conveys a sense of balance and harmony, rest and reassurance,’ says Suzanne. It is easy on the eye, people will know where they are with you when you wear green. Team bright green sweater with a blue jeans so those around experience you as a breath of fresh air. ‘Know your greens as undertone can be either yellow-based and warm such as apple green, or blue-based and cool as sea green. You might look great in one but sallow in another.’ A joyful maxi-dress, cut for bodycon fit so follows natural contours of your body oozes summer. Fresh and vibrant works well with either heels or flats, and a side slit means flexible so you don’t need to hold back on the dance floor. Flattering, figure-hugging shift dress absolute to wear. The classic wraparound front is a wonder ashowing off curves concealing big lunches. Power dressing at its finest. The most stressful business meeting will not leave you annoying deodorant mark. Diminutive frames will sparkle in simple strappy cotton dress or delicate crochet detailing across bust and buttons from neck to hem. Heavenly for the summer family picnic date or on a warm evening.product-hugerect-308370-13575-1398266974-9c44343df4627986c10e8432c4cdb3f3ORANGE is often considered, colour of sensuality, passion and fun, wear orange to create both a physical and emotional response,’ advises Suzanne. ‘Wearing orange is daring and fun, and only for those who feel super-confident in their intellectual abilities, orange runs risk of being considered a tad superficial.’ ‘A combination of red and yellow, orange is enthusiastic, expansive, outgoing, also determined, and more agreeable so not aggressive,’ adds Leatrice. The seriously summery lightweight maxi dress with a layered flutter sleeves; matching belt, modest V-line, a gloriously flattering wrapped front is one of wedding season favourites. Perfect for pear shapes, ideal paired with big shades and bigger Aperol Spritz for colour-blocking, obviously. On a cooler day, wrap yourself up loosely in deliciously bright straight-cut jacket. Bold, sumptuous, yet gloriously simple when teamed with loose fit white T-shirt black skinny jeans, suede ankle boots. A shorter leg and straight-cut frame shine in adorable petite playsuit, fitted with a deep V-neckline, dainty bowed straps, intricate hem detailing and a flattering waistline to provide definition. Playsuits have seldom looked so playful.c3c42bc29e54ea27f9e20b1ff6e2e6ff.jpgFriendliness is associated with YELLOW colour of emotion, optimism and sunny yellow clothes convey friendliness and confidence,’ explains Suzanne. It is great to wear on a celebratory day, such as a birthday or a wedding. ‘Yellow helps people see you as confident extrovert so ideal colour create great first impression but does not suit everyone, so exercise caution unless you are sure. Get it wrong and everyone will feels anxious around you so be yellow mellow not lemonade!’ Sunny days need sunny dresses just be ready for sunniest days. A halterneck crafted is a beauty that features modest wrapover middle and long skirt lengths perfect for a pear-shaped figure to show off wonderful arms and shoulder line.  We can’t get enough of smart cropped trousers in vibrant, summery yellow. It is high waisted to flatten tummy, and with a super-gently fit, want to wear in the office. Pop on a black silk shirt or simple camisole and you are good to go.  Smaller busts, rejoice, playful cropped top in heavenly lemon will show off all your best assets. The lettuce hem gives the top beautiful movement, its gently ribbed fabric gives right amount weight.ivy-blu-for-maggy-boutique-navy-ruched-faux-wrap-dress-product-1-13884373-489452598.jpegPURPLE is most creative of all colours,’ says Leatrice. Appeals to the perceptive people, unique, artistic, a bit mysterious and enigmatic. ‘Associated with royalty, purple has connotations of luxury,’ says Suzanne. Often therapeutic environment uses the colour purple for calming effect of prayer to meditate, focus as most find its wavelength peaceful in purple. This is the colour to wear if you want to enjoy a quiet contemplation. Short wavelengths take you away from the world of chatter and excitement into the quieter, deeper places within. Dive into the depths of your inner Spirit of God with purple. By wearing purple signal comfortable in your own skin. Though it suits almost everyone, few people tend to wear it. It can take you inside yourself, be careful not to shut others out. Choose beautiful bright dresses featuring waterfall front detail for superbly flattering fit whatever your body shape. Fully lined with jersey, features a modest V-neck, loose waist, making it terribly forgiving after eating too much third slice of wedding cake. So pick effortlessly elegant fit breathable, HotSquash technology to regulate your body temperature. Perfect for long walks or working in evenings in hot offices. An exquisitely feminine frock with beautiful flattering silhouette party dress creation provides bust support, confidence, upper arms and fabulously fluid skirt line. Elegant-Rose-V-neck-Cap-Sleeve-Maxi-Chiffon-DressPINK is suggestive of gentleness and of empathy, pink brings out the feminine side of anyone wearing it. The colour of nurture, soothing and softly stimulating comforting colour to slip into after hard day’s work. The brighter the pink, the closer to red, and the sexier it becomes. ‘Wearing a blush pink or rose pink under a business suit will soften your look. The colour of romance, stronger shades can wow in the bedroom, too. It’s all about giving voice to the profoundly feminine part of yourself.’ Ideal for a long-legged fuller figure gorgeous, bright pink colour relaxed fit dress supremely flattering without skimping on feminine elegance. Loose cape sleeves work terrifically to flatter arms of all shapes, while a sequin neckline provides a party sparkle. The bodysuits are making a huge comeback, thanks to new fondness for highwaisted jeans. Coral treat with cut denim for a neat but totally relaxed look. A lovely, loose, electric pink chiffon blouse is an option for a summer date, particularly when worn with skinny black jeans and feminine flats. Sleeveless in airy chiffon with front tassel ties, perfect for anyone not comfortable wearing skin-tight top. Keep deliciously cool on summer night.