2. SuperHigh Expectation
Most relationship definitely face super high expectations of each other some almost humanly impossible. So having super high expectations and partner not meeting them causes anger, frustrations and dissatisfaction. Maybe they do not know what you want them to do so they cannot meet them as they are not mind readers. Maybe they cannot meet them because you want too much and so they cannot give you what you are looking for. Unrealistic expectations can ruin totally or break a relationship. When you move in, you do not want to have crazy high expectations that no sane person could ever meet, let alone the person you love. Many couples make this mistake. They think moving in together totally solves problems in their relationship just for a while but think the negative completely disappears except the very best stuff. It is not real life so not the right way to go. Think of MasterChef with the identical ingredients, scales, cookers, tools, recipe given to a team of professionals. After watching practical demonstration of the exact recipe perfectly made by a gourmet chef their meals never look or taste the same. A certain level of experience and a personal touch always produces better quality. In the same manner, nobody can perfectly replicate exact clone of loved one no matter how deeply in love they may be. Worth noting love alone is not enough to transform anyone overnight into an image of fantasy partner existing inside one’s head. Some people never think anyone is perfect for them so need to create one themselves.
3. Doing It For The Money
Sometimes it seems a good idea to move into a place together because financially it is a good idea. But you have to make sure you think about this. Just because you find a place that you are absolutely in love with does mean that you should make decision that you can both afford so check long-term if good idea to move in together. First of all, before you decide to live together you need to have a talk with written agreement to ensure you keep up with whatever decisions made. This means that both of you are willing and ready. Often times if you fall in love with a place and think that this is a good idea before taking the necessary steps you will realize that it can cause a whole lot of issues for the two of you. Make sure you are not moving at a faster pace than your relationship is ready for.
4. Respecting Differences
Again, you and your partner might have way more differences than you know and those things only become super- clear after you move in together. You could be a neat freak and they could be furthest thing from that. You must respect fact they thinking you are nagging always on their case to clean up or do dishes, if not you are asking for a major relationship trouble. You have to respect differences and talk about this properly. You can say something like, “Hey, I get it does not bother you if dirty dishes are left in the sink, but I do not love it, so maybe we can take turns.” If they truly love you so hopefully does since you are now living together is a pretty massive step. You, need to understand where both come from to negotiate teamwork and learn to agree to disagree on other differences.
5. Seeing Each Other 24/7
When couples move in together because they want to spend more time together, after already spending time hanging out and staying over at each other’s places they figure out it is time and they might as well live together. It just makes total and complete sense as a really great next step. But if you think moving in with a partner means that you should see each other 24/7, you are on the wrong track. Yes, you love one another and yes, you want to see each other as much as you possibly can. But you both still need to live your own lives and see your families and see your friends and keep up your hobbies and interests. Do not just drop everything and everyone in your life now because you live with your partner. That is asking for a total disaster. Be honest about how much space you need and do the same partner and family.
6.Nagging & Complaining
Pointing out what is wrong instead of an appreciation of what is right is nagging. Why ignore a 90% strong points to zoom in on 10% weaknesses as long as it is not a risk to life or aggressive behaviour that causes harm or any danger. Be honest are you perfect yourself? Nagging is the projection of self onto others to compel them to behave exactly like you. In other words you want your identical clone to just like you. You already know this is making a total and complete stereotype, so honestly, why would you do this? Do you want your partner to hate you and resent you and eventually leave you? You definitely want to cut this out and soon. A lot of couples make mistake of nagging each other when they move in together, so yes, it definitely goes both ways and guys can do this, too, even if you don’t think so. Your might ask to chill out a little bit about chores and taking care of apartment or might say you are hanging out with your friends too much and nag you about how you need to spend more time at home. Do your best and say you both need to communicate properly and that neither one of you should make the other one feel bad.
7. Both Being Honest
Sometimes couples living together are not totally honest about what they each want. Maybe wants a certain apartment but your partner hates it so did not push for it or vice versa. Is not ideal situation if both move into an apartment and you do not both absolutely adore it, but yeah, it does happen. If you’ve moved in with someone before, you’ve probably made the mistake of not being honest about the kind of living accommodations that you’re looking for, and if you haven’t lived with anyone yet, you definitely will in the future. It is just one of the things that usually happens for good reason to make partner happy so wants the same thing for you, so you tiptoe around this kind of issue and act like everything is totally fine. Until, of course, it all comes crashing down later on always be honest because if not you pay it for it later.
8. Treating As Y/our Place
Avoid mistake of acting an apartment is still totally yours if your partner moved in with you, you are not alone there. The same thing applies if you move into their apartment or you got a totally new place altogether. The truth is a place belongs to both of you now and you definitely have to get used to that. You cannot just invite people over without telling your partner and vice versa, and you cannot decorate it however, cannot randomly rearrange furniture without telling other person. You just cannot unless you want to start a huge argument and then, by all means, go ahead. This is part of what makes living together so new and difficult. It is not all fun and games as there are some real decisions to make with your partner. Even if you take initiative or want to surprise it is good to have approval out of respect not belittle partner. Hopefully, you will get used to realizing you share space now and things will be okay.
9.Being Choosy & Picky
Being choosy, picky and overdemanding in the name of perfection drains partner emotionally. If you refuse to put up any painting your partner’s grandmother had given them or even painted because you claim it is super ugly and does not go with the rest of the apartment decor, you are not only being a jerk but making also a huge mistake. Same goes if actions any favourite pillow means a lot to you, so super attached to it. Many couples make mistake of deciding to live tougher and then getting super picky about furniture and decorations. It is easy to not see the forest from the trees, as they say to care so much about small irrelevant things that you do not realize the big picture of what really matters. The big picture of course, is that you love someone enough to live with them. That is no small thing. Choose safe well-structured wardrobes to use without falling apart easily posing risk especially to small children or infirm in household. Ensure best quality and durable safe bed/rooms, electric, gas pipes checked to ensure safety. Be realistic and do repairs regularly for peace of mind.
You want to have a housewarming party when you move into a new place and so desire goes up about a million points as you are moving in with your partner. You want to housewarming party, asking for tons of trouble and do not realize how much this strain on your relationship. The same thing will definitely happen if your partner wants to throw party earlier than you do or tries to control the whole thing. Talk to each other openly honestly about when you both want to throw this party and definitely think plan together the details and costs or clean up after.
11. Being A United Team
Yeah, you have been living alone for a while now, and even though you’ve been in this happy and serious relationship, you have still had your own space. You could do what you want, when you want, and you made decisions about going to sleep or when to cook or when to clean without having to ask someone else if it is okay. But now you are part of a team and it is not just your space anymore, so that is a huge change. A lot of couples make mistake of not acting like they are part of a team now that they moved in together. You cannot just rearrange your entire living room without talking to the partner or decide to retile the bathroom floor without them running it by you first. You have to talk things out and figure them out together. If you do not want to do it this living arrangement might not work neither will relationship.
12.On The Best Behaviour
Yes, of course, you want to be on your best behaviour around other people, but around your romantic partner? Why would not just be yourself to relax a little bit more? A lot of couples think when they move in together, they should not walk around in ugly sweats anymore or do the things they used to do. But that is a huge mistake and so wrong. You are sharing your life with your partner now, along with your apartment and deserve to be yourself and be real as possible. You can absolutely break out your ugliest sweatpants or slippers and just might become inside joke between two of you, which is totally cool. You should not be afraid to relax and act the way you did before when you just lived alone both do the same thing within reason, of course. You may not want to see the messiest so hopefully can reign it a little bit you two.
13. Fighting Too Much
Some couples move in together and then automatically start fighting too much. The thing is this does not have to happen at all so can absolutely work hard to prevent it. It is easier to fight with someone you see all the time every single day. You expect them to figure things out so there is no reason to tell them exactly what is on your mind but you should be honest all the time. And yes, honesty is a good idea yet there is a fine line between honesty and being kind of mean and cruel. Do not be honest you hurt your partner’s feelings. If you both just share intimacy together but cannot seem stop bickering about little stuff, you need to set some ground rules and boundaries. Talk about how you will divide up chores, domestic stuff like cooking and cleaning. Until you figure that out you will keep fighting so not good for anyone.
14. Expecting Romance
This is a huge mistake lots of couples make, and is a pretty obvious one. Of course, you think things are going to be super romantic 24/7 when actually living with one you love the most in the world. But that does not take into account being sick, being exhausted, being stressed out at work and general life stuff. Moving in together is kind of like getting a taste of what is married life so you definitely will deal with a lot of things you never had to deal with before. You must be open and honest with each other about literally all you are dealing with, whether you want to or not. If you do not sleep together every single night or have the hottest love life ever, that is not a bad thing. That means your relationship matures as love changes and gets back to normal. A point to remember is libido changes with small children so find new hide outs for timing intimacy passion. You need to be creative as not same as just the two of you before raising family.
15. Have Zero Problems
You cannot have children then expect the home to remain as if you live in a show room because the house is an investment to sell on. Some do not let children sit on sofa, play, roll on floor in living room so raised like little soldier’s in ‘the sound of music.’ Perfect children and families only happily ever after relationship happens in TV drama, Mills and Boon’s romantic novels, real life is warts and all. Couples think once they make important decision to move in together are truly committing to each other so will have zero problems. If things get more complicated when you move in with someone it is normal but, that is not a bad thing at all unless you make it one. Both are own whole people and with your own thoughts, feelings, ideas and you have your own schedules and routines. Those are bound to clash so that is okay. That is what is supposed to happen. Do your best to be patient as the two of you get used to your new living situation and work out the issues within a good frame of time. Just because you are having a bit of trouble getting used to living together does not mean things are heading in a negative direction. Some recommend not moving in together before marriage often it does not work out in favour of the majority who tried due to lack of commitment. At other times couples need support of the family members and friends to survive. So it is wise in both best interest not to exclude isolate or burn love bridges as you are too deeply involved to make room for any other person. That is too close for comfort so can suffocate the relationship. Above all, God said it is not good to be alone so seek God’s Face to guide and help you build up a sound foundation. Do not let your picker or physical looks attraction be the only deciding factor of relationship. A reliable interdependent relationship nurtures love essential to a mature love. Life is dynamic so changes take place daily in both if children are involved. Create play corner, child space include learning and music. Continue to date once a month minimum and get a baby sitter and do not call every second instead of relaxing with your partner. If possible for stability of children choose a location nearby with schools, church and parks locally. Aim for property longterm so children will not miss out on forming durable friendships and family support. Pay closer attention to household chores like removing rubbish. USD multilayered plastic bags if suitable inlaid with paper to soak wet waste that is not made into compost. Separate to recycle useful gabbage because one man’s thrash is another’s treasure. Keep baby waste out doors in safe covered bins do not breath it indoors including removing cat litter from tray daily for good hygiene practice.
16. Household Duties
Shopping, cooking, laundry and cleaning duties among others must meticulously planned and not left to chance. Both will do certain tasks better so agree and make a to do list to remind yourself if not able to hire a housekeeper to do it for you. A happy life depends on smooth running of the home and good time schedules as part of a team working together. Simple tips include advance preparation to be ahead of time. A dustbin layered with many bags with disinfectant in between each saves time to remove rubbish. Also clear water closet with clean tissue on top of unflashed loo, push down brush left in during flashing to cut the cost of calling plumber every five minutes. It prevents ungastly sight of a heavy soiling stubborn stains on brush that refuse to be shifted by flashing alone. Persist and repeat process many times until clean for next use. Never let toilet brush directly touch loo instead use tissues to form a barrier to keep the brush clean from harbouring germs and bacteria. After flashing loo, use fresh clean tissue to pick and wipe handle, disinfect brush after cleaning and wash hands thoroughly. Soak brush in a disinfectant container holding brush in the toilet to continue daily disinfectation. If at first you do not succeed try again to leave brush inside bowl with tissue covering loo and flash but do not stuff lavatory with tissues out of sheer frustration to cost you plumber fees. If not sure what to do leave it with the experts in case it is a pipe blockage elsewhere. Life can be easily managed if you know how.