If you are not ready, to stand up gently to calmly deal with meddling in laws by a united front: The opinionated sister, the insensitive uncle, domineering father, a manner less brother, nosy aunt do not get married. Concrete boundaries do not exist automatically so must be created. A good spouse is committed to respectfully stand up for and protect their marriage from meddling relatives. So do not ever abandon your spouse to relatives it is a betrayal even if they educated you and paid for the marriage. So if not ready yet to pay the bills do not get married. Love alone is not good enough to pay all bills. Food, heating, plus growing needs of the children must be met. Power companies will not give a waiver because your love is so strong and your gazes at each other, so romantic. If you are not ready to let go of your opposite sex “best friends” and ex girl friends to invest into your spouse do not marry. To forsake all others in wedding vows, bond together, laugh, play, to be silly to enjoy life with them above anyone else do not get married. Affairs happen because the people did not marry their best friends. Someone else holds their heart while a wife wears the ring on finger. Someone else gets them better investing in them. Someone else inspires them more. Marry your best friend cultivate friendship to help you to remain best friends after the marriage.If you are not ready to stop competing with the Joneses do not get married. Let the Joneses buy their yacht when you are still walking and enjoy the humble walk. Your journeys are different. They may have to cross the oceans but you may be going through the road route. Boat may not do you any good on your journey if you are unhappy person by nature. You must be ready to pace yourselves: stop competing, stop spending your future before you get there, stop the debt, stop trying to impress people, be content. To enjoy your journey without deciding your happiness simply by always measuring your own progress against other people. If you are not ready to be an open book. To tell the whole story of your past, deal with the memories, expose the failures and risk rejection do not get married. It is unfair to have someone sign off their life to you without the full details. Some past is a touchy and demanding a friend stands by you to support you. So always past childhood trauma shows up in the marriage. It is not enjoyable as being one ignored or snobbed, the longer it lasts it becomes worse with the more tantrums thrown. Messes up clean cut neat fully in control facade hold together love image struggling to maintain so keep it real. If not ready to let go of philandering and wild oats sowing farming then do not get married. Do not take somebody’s son or daughter to subject them to your ‘germs’ of your indiscretions and chip fungaz. It never ends well. It is romanticized in the movies, being fronted as only “realistic” way to stay married to keep fire burning. But truth be told, the only thing that the fire will burn will be you, your spouse and your children. That family will burn for generations in bitterness, disease, fear, failure, hatred, broken hearts, and broken dreams conniving manipulation. Finally, if you are not yet ready to let go of the adrenalin rush of a risque life and to settle down do not get married. The great Columbus we are told “discovered” America, have you ever wondered if the Native Indians who were in it, knew that existence from ancient days erased in a diary that was no longer sought after.If people want to realise reality of their marriage it is also compared to taking a mortgage for life or sailing at sea as read about often in wild journey sea tempest, reckless pirates fought, the death danger they encountered. When a diary is found the great disappointment is a lack of exact experience of the story. Majority of pages simply 5 words: “This day, couple sailed on seems at times mundane with an occasional spiced up adventure to tell others.” Some endangered themselves and took unpredictable risks they never survive to tell tales in person. So seek a good and compassionate gentle natured person to marry. Remain humble and do not provoke them. Proverbs 18:6 in Bible says, “A fool’s lips walk into fight as his mouth invites beating so briddle tongue. Remember soft answer turns away anger so respect each other in front of family. Marriage life journey in general in many ways represent a calm “sail on” days in mundane times yet quiet and peaceful. It is imporyant not to assume and think a marriage is permanently honeymoon.Quintessentially absolutely wise normal to live as an everyday practical function of cooking, cleaning, laundry, if not done by housekeepers. You have to learn to find thrill to enjoy normal everydayness. Fantasy depending only a wild romance, all night sex, or romantic cruises, wild parties, compulsive moves across continents, tempestuous fights and make up sessions to be happy, you may be disappointed. You have to learn the thrill in gentle smiles, loving hugs, knowing looks, cozy moments, shared chores, cute babies and everyday work. Dreaming together and praying together to simply living together. If these things are not thrilling, exciting and satisfying, you will look for a way out. The “boom” memories of moments still there but are normally punctuations to the usualness of living. They cannot be your reason for getting married. They are unsustainable on an everyday basis. One preferred and chosen must be thrilling to you even in the most mundane of moments.I pray this helps someone before they do give up their life at peak career moment. Remember singles, YOUR PRIVILEGE OF CHOICE means take time to prepare for marriage. Invest in yourself, build your future, savings, buy a family size home as investment in good location. Never let anyone pressure you into marriage. You cannot lead your life by other people’s opinions or comments demanding and mocking you to rush into marriage if you are not ready you are not: You decide so you live through these experiences! But please do not marry somebody because you got pregnant so punished by family to marry you to live with your hellish life for the rest of your lives in resentment. A manchild sentimentalist lives fantasy infantile childish behaviour irritating as an adult is extremely frustrating. Sadly, often in their own world in their heads do not have reality check. Avoid and run from them for your life like the plague. Marriage is for the mature and in many ways, the married still being confronted with the demand to grow up day by day. If you are not ready for such a demand, do not get married!!!!
Reblogged and Updated