Todays discussion is based on qualities needed to make a healthy relationship work best when committed to make it last. The question is what does one bring into and want from relationship? Ability to define exactly what specific quality of relationship one needs helps to assess a motive and purpose. Desire for a partner involves responsibilities and duty of care to each other. Men want love, sex, food, women want mature, consistent decisive strong man to love and marry to protect them. A healthy relationship requires an interest in sharing common goals agreed to relate together as a healthy couple. So congruence means both verbally state the love needs to tally compatibility. If possible build a progressive diary of good thoughts about each other. Women look out for a Knight in Shinning armour to love, rescue them from sad lonely world to make them happy to feel better about themselves. A strong woman is taught to team up with man to meet needs not nag for not fulfilling their needs but both must learn to meet each other’s needs jointly. Not what is in it for me attitude because man can only do so much for another. Quite a tall order to require all needs, desires be met by loved one.Assuming meeting the perfect partner resolves all life’s problems is unrealitic. Women find it harder to find the readily perfectly made men illusions created in head. Sounds simple or straightforward find mature, commited, decisive, strong man reality is combination of 4 qualities in a man is a rare commodity. Maturity is growth process by developing a dynamic relationship. Do not assume relationship is prepackaged tailored to suit a partner. Dating, having conversations makes one tick the boxes on the love list so thinks that’s the one. After all seems alright, appears well – groomed smart so sounds wonderful makes you laugh. This meets requirements, expectations and fits own standard looked for in potential spouse.
The reality is true love is a privilege and blessing to share intimacy by consent. A popular approach seems perfect at first if making personal choices to assess the person to fall in love with. On such basis some relationship formed progress into a marriage. In principle works well from start until honeymoon period is over and little annoyances surface. Time goes on, cracks begin to appear so must face the music to dance to deal with differences. Consequence of lashing out in anger by picking on each other, with resentment does not help. Realise both must adjust to change to accomodate one another in building the relationship. Various issues show both do not know each other well enough before contemplating marriage. Love at first sight works for some people but others have to work hard to develop lasting love in spite of life’s challenges. Men learn to cope with woman’s need to love, support her as a romantic husband meetinh intimacy needs. An emotional woman needs the man to be supportive to listen to feel more acknowledged. The best a man can offer in circumstances is let her talk uninterrupted and vice versa.It is important to allow her share things on her heart from personal perspective without judging or condemning her. To learn how it makes her feel when you say things or ignore any specific instructions given. A man needs to encourage, trust, reassure, appreciate and love her. Must not have controlling behaviour and pick on her size, posture, cooking techniques, belittling by calling her drama queen. Or blame for unhappiness, dissapointment in the marriage not being what expected and supposed to be. Or complain, attack for being romantic enough if attending to baby especially help as new mother. A husband is head of family looked after if nursing child or not teamwork essential.A healthy relationship requires a whole person who knows how to first love own self and be happy in themselves as an individual. So enjoy life by themselves and pays own bills to understand cost of living. Manages own finance well and on top of their game about planning time and keeping ahead in life. In a healthy relationship the person gives and takes so does not expect the partner to make them happy. Its selfish to insist another person takes full responsibility for own success in life. A partner is not domestic slave at one’s beck and call to please you only. True value of relationships means respect for each other discovering and growing, changing together in life. It is commitment to love through a difficult time to adapt by compromise tolerance.One does not force a partner to become a preconceived non existent image formed in head to fit imagined picture. So do not leave life to chance, make it as one goes along by keeping fingers crossed, hoping things sort itself out. Be honest if not yet ready to settle down to raise a family say so but plan carefully the future together. Use a protection in marriage if not yet ready to conceive for the child unwanted pregnancy destroys happy relationship. Abortion takes its toll on a woman both physically and emotionally so do not rely on it use protection and contraception. It does not mean you do not truly love each other just being pragmatic, realistic wise not to rush into marriage by pregnancy. A child does not cement marriage if not ready to raise one. Compelled marriage by pregnancy circumstances is not sound foundation to build marriage. A condom will save a lifetime of pain of putting life on hold until children grow up to fulfil life dreams visions. Default marriage fall apart check divorce rate statistics so sex intimacy issue cannot be left to chance make conscious decision to plan healthy family life. Prevent tantrum by healthy use of protection some women cannot handle pill side effects or injections on body. Do not allow pride and ignorance rule consequences of bedroom decision. During wining dining stage discuss this if having sex say these things in advance make, decision pregnancy outcome lasts for lifetime if unprepared. Stop blaming each other for not taking precautions but willing participant indulged. Unsettle a relationship, breeds anger, resentment, ruins woman’s career affects her income and pensions so budget save for family.So must fully understand love that alone is not enough to pay bills and to care for any unwanted child blamed, resented for ruining marriage or love life. If not ready to raise child do not let irresponsible sex, destroy life protect foster or adopt them, not offend God to commit sin. Intimacy relation cannot be left to chance but is a deliberate communication on all aspects of life involving family and children. It is true most relationships start often with two individuals involve but it develops to include children at some point. Research to study issues relating to raising family wisdom advance preparation awareness. Do not think it is not necessary to talk about children because you do not want one. Whether ready for them or not turn they turn up pretty soon just doing what God programmed sex to do at the right time given suitable conditions. Read to be aware of what is required of healthy family relationships to be in the know.Investing in family is taking step of faith like buying property, mortgage, hoping building is structurally sound as a good investment for life. Bring up children to value healthy relationship by example to guide them on body boundaries. Do not dwell on love so engrossed on dating and having fun not teach them to realise the youngest pregnancy happened to 5 year old girl or 11 year old father then panick. It is God’s design included in the natural sexual intimacy outcome. Prepare, know in advance how to design work to revolve around family than be sorry to regret it. A child is for life into eternity so make informed wise choice for your own good. Emphasise the healthy relationship with holistic planning preparation of family.A healthy relationship makes room for friends and family for moral suppot. Do not isolate and exclude friends to focus eyes only on 20% marriage, be trained to understand a 100% meaning advancing anchored marriage on God’s solid rock foundation. Prayer ressures, guaranteed commitment long-haul love lifestyle to help handle family stages carefully. The sound preparation will pay off to reach future generations to learn from healthy relationship too. Posterity relies on the couple to make wise decisions to survive and do the right thing. In other words a healthy relationship extends beyond the limited interaction of 2 people affecting the future generations. There is so much information highway liberal views that do not lead to happines in the end so define healthy family standard. A healthy relationship involved lots of spending quality time together and to provide for family’s security and future. It means sound financial planning to be able to eat, pay mortgage or build home, run cars, jets or boats. So better to delay marriage than rush into it based on debt. This can affect a healthy relationship so suck joy out due to pressures of worrying about unnecessary expenses to keep up with the Jones. Outlook can be deceiving if relationship is superficially organised to please colleagues and friends. Many are still paying for costs of the marriage years later after the honeymoon is over. Resentment can set in when things turn soar not loving and kissing all day long as naively thought at the beggining of a relationship. Relationships may still not be if there lack of trust or transparency.There is no perfect healthy relationship existing in life. So everyone deals with some issues but manages to cope in life. Do not watch others, neglect blessed life thinking grass is greener so not to enjoy life. Healthy relationship enhances not deteriorate to get worse if is not good do not to cling on holding onto it to hurt and destroy oneself. Be honest enough with yourself to seek help to regain self confidence not to get lost in the process. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated to affect emotions or feel so low to hang despite warnings of concerned people. If one door closes another opens bigger or better so learn to love yourself to be who God created you to be first in Christ. The source of true joy and happines comes from God. Family love is wonderful but true contentment in life is from God.
Love is sweeter than honey but real life issues are not often understood before a healthy relationship onset. This means things both couple unaware of begin to show up challenging belief, background and handling conflict. The wise couple must know God is Author of relationship so must understand HIS terms and the required conditions for good success. It is no use leaning on own understanding because the choices can backfire against each other if unaware of what involved. The Bible says the older wiser ones must guide the younger naive ones. The needs of healthy relationship requires support of others to work. And be humble have a teachable spirit to learn from those God connects you to enhance your life.Above all good relationship relationships do not just happen, they take time, years to grow, adapt, understand each other to learn to tolerate natural differences. The rewards are fulfilling if properly planned and willing to accept each other and get on in life together. Life as a whole is not generally easy taking each other on a major commitment not taken lightly. It is important to sincerely think beyond sex, engagement ring, the wedding gown planning of venue, guest list, number of costume changes at wedding, meals to be provided, gifts, presents, honeymoon to plan the future, career, income, debt family, baby sitting costs, money issues mortgage. Knowing these real practical matters in advance is not to put one off marriage but help avoid naively setting off on life journey without an adequate proper preparation or understanding. It makes great difference to know journey one sets off into to be ready to enjoy it, fully equipped and prepared in advance. The question is are you capable of taking care of yourself to include responsibility with and the future children for years?