8620084035_f77a242552The Jesus type marriages require Godly Wisdom above rubies. And he who finds a wife finds good priceless treasure with Favour from God. Bible in Proverbs 18:22 says man who finds wife receives special Favour from the LORD God. In Proverbs 31:10 in Bible, passage asks Who can find a virtuous woman? Her price is far above Rubies. Jesus type marriages are ultimate highest achievement of honour or status in society. So wife makes it her constant business to do him good. She ensures all duties, including helping meet his needs feeding properly, clothing appropriately, ensuring he has peace of mind at home. Takes his place among other reputable men in society. Descriptions of roles of wife show man literally depends on her for daily survival. SO REMAIN HUMBLE TO KNOW NOT INDISPENSABLE EVEN IF GOD USES HIS BLESSINGS THROUGH YOU TO ENRICH MAN REMAIN SMALL IN OWN EYES AND HONOUR HIM. If he offends start with private prayers first in closet do not ever belittle disrespect him publicly even if he is wrong. The couple well to do still needs the woman’s duty of care to ensure team managing home, efficient and responsible. The wife is a domestic minister of family matters to ensure all departments run smoothly. Heads report directly to housekeeping overseer manager but she keeps team.Bright shimmering ruby - raster versionContinue to pray everyday for marriage as intensely as once prayed passionately to get married. Do not feel proud you are now married fooled to think you wear his ring so now own man exclusively or vice versa. Respect family essential necessary for marriage survival. Marriage paid for by the whole family’s contributions and so value and treat family right and well. Marriage is a powerful position in society elevating couple to gain respect for they have obtained Honour and Favour from God. So marriages brings families closer together and the community celebrates their occasion rejoicing with them. The wedding focus particularly on Brides who gets centre of attention and gifts for the couple. The woman who enters marriage by this traditional method is expected to take on the whole not just the husband exclusively. Mostly the women together working daily in a team support family as a whole. The Western individualism concept is totally non – existent as the man works with other men throughout the day. The women cook together and feed the whole family as a unit. The men eat together in a large group of several meals. The women and children also eat nearby in their own groups. Afterwards, washing up done mostly by women and teenage girls. This approach to life is inclusive ensuring members are always catered, provided for, well-looked after. So not lonely surrounded by loved ones support through thick and thin to enjoy sense of belonging yet strange to some.proverbs-31.jpgIn contrast intimacy connection on the deeper level experienced by a Western family of 2:4 children balancing life jobs, hobbies by supermom style parenting a communal family entail grandma, aunts nieces people around in family. It seems overbearing intrusion but without free education family pays fees as no income environment without a welfare support requires all gel together for survival. If mother not well young girls help to cook clean, wash, still in school to learn, train to become careeer woman, wife, mother nurturers. Overwhelming for those who do not live community lifestyle difficult to understand why grown ups continue to live in compound owned by a family. Town structured family neighbourhoods relate by surnames. Life is intertwined and involves always the whole family. So important to do research on Google map to know exactly location of family, tribe marrying into. Client sought help after 4 years marriage despite travelling many times before the wedding shocked to discover married in Africa not in middle East as assumed. Couple met online they skyped and seem compatible culturally in belief so rest is history. Honeymoon period over reality sets in issue resurface so prevention is better than cure. This information necessary to know to study expectations, cultural differences adjust lifestyle accordingly. A couple raised in communal families get along better as understands role automatically. If an independent and private person it will cause poor human relation, due to lack of social cooperation. The automatic family bonding requires larger extended family to gel as a smooth group working in a group. Places the outsider spouse in awkward position to learn family way of doing things to help path of flourishing. 

virtouswoman.jpgSelf-awareness self-conciousness outer body physical image promoted in West is unheard of. So some towns exhibit even semi- naked wo/men during traditional cultural initiation, naked not ashamed. Nobody concious of sexualising concept conditioning in the West so no one feels provoked to indulge sex or rape a naked person as not programmed or factored in their natural psyche. The traditional way often seen as barbaric savagery so effort made to change to conform to Western lifestyle to civilise them. This creates a misunderstanding and tension in family as people from 2 different backgrounds try to get along on own their terms. One from communal lifestyle background is equally shocked in Western environment by individualism concept. Finds it harder to cope on their own as expected to get a can do DIY mindset overnight in West. It is difficult as society demands person to autmatically know Western lifestyle way of doing things. Puts strain on marriage because West often lacks understanding of hard circumstances faced by people to intergrate them well. Some pick on them by racism Superiority complex making it harder for them to blend in community. In this new lifestyle, the couple without support take on new individual thinking. With only each other to rely on find they take on role unfamiliar with exclusively. rubies-FB-Facebook-Cover-Timeline.jpgEssential and necessary for the marriage survival to know land farmed together, animals raised belong to whole family as well as family business. The notion of an individual is unknown therefore outsider is expected to blend in join whole family to function. Family members contribute to raising all children equally, feeding all taking all together to school or any sport training among numerous activities. The person who grew up in West has cultural shock so may find it hard immediately. Over time they may adapt and join in as part of whole family. The one not used to communal eating or communal lifestyle may feel lost without usual respect for personal space and privacy. So seem like never ending intrusion but genuine love by people raised to work in team all their lives. Material possessions not as highly valued as fashion status symbol in West so outer garments and clothings shared and preserved to pass to anyone in need. Often meticulously handmade of course time consuming for months preserved to give to less fortunate members of family or poor in need 1000% recycling lifestyle. 6cc603e75f291ecdcdf28050d284a671.jpgThis process of marriage counter affects friends of both couples. Friends grew up and shared the common life experiences together move on. Marriage shifts focus of attention from previous friendships to building a nuclear family unit. Initially, keep friendships to an extent but things not quite same anymore between them. While a couple is blooming and thriving the friends begin to feel left out, isolated more and more. Each visit different as a conversation turns to pregnancy scans, shopping for baby items, the body aches of pregnancy pains of woman or bizarre cravings. The friends are supportive and helpful but have no clues about changes in her body taking place so cannot relate in depth anymore as they used to giggle about common experiences in the past. For this reason family support couple to ease burdens to make the yoke lighter in Christ. Marriage is community affair by communications of the various people involved to raising the family. It takes a whole village to raise a child so requires help to continue procreation and future working force of the nation. The untold pressure and exhaustion of couples were not meant to be so but socoliety evolved into modern family structure affecting support mechanism of grandparents. So in turn impacts career and employment, income of especially child primary carer.ruby-heart.jpgInternational marriages affect issues of differences of upbringing, ways of doing things and family structure. The woman especially must understand they have a lot to invest in physical shape changes to their body nurturing babies. So expected to regain the perfect body shape to look immediately like primer single woman never carried pregnancy before. Couples must seek help at all times with issues affecting family life. Above all woman especially faces strong competition from those who previously cared for husband to nurture him up to their standard. It is therefore important to learn mother in law cooking for husband if not from that background. A man cannot compare his wife’s food to mother’s because she did not cook like that when first married. The parents develop and grow together so modern marriages have a lot to learn to gain from organic family. Wo/men must understand the essential crucial differences in communicating or talking to men and women. So a woman is not allowed to talk too much but to politely speak straight to the point, express view preferably on issue so talk one at a time.imagesCASJZREW.jpgThe men cannot be expected to figure out all things going on because women talk about it all the time in the presence of a man. So expected to take hint from clues of conversations to take action. Men do not function that way, women do. A woman cannot sulk assuming the man heard her conversation so already knows what is bothering her. Man is best approached after the meal when relaxing privately couple not in front of children. This is a reason why Almighty God first fed the 70men on mountain before HE ordaining them to work for HIM as the community leaders, judges. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach with soul food not nagging. An army marches on their stomach too. Women need wisdom to raise a family to be supported through mood swings of hormonal changes. The effort made to prepare in advance before taking on marriage responsibility require more than love alone between couples. It is important to teach these values from a young age to help marriage function as God originally intended in Christ Jesus. Above all know salvation comes through Jesus Christ alone the Marriage Groom for Christian believers in heaven. Whether married, divorced, single in life marriages last for lifetime season then an eternal marriage everlasting forever with Jesus in heaven.



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