WHAT MEN WANT?

What Men Want.jpg

Men say they want food, sex and silence so surely that cannot be too much to ask of women? If so why does such a simple request seem impossible, complicated, causing more arguments and fights? Is it realistic to focus on only these 3 things when relationships demand more than love, sex and silence? Does what men want agree with what women want and are these congruent with what a family needs as a whole? Women do need more than love, sex and silence so this causes conflict in the relationship as what love means to each is completely different to what assumes. Women need men to be more sensitive in handling love with deeper affection due to mood changes caused by cycle and hormones. Mutual love understanding needs men’s support for women’s wants too. Wants or needs are completely different issues including family stability, intimacy, and security. Some women give up more for marriage in terms of health, wealth or happiness. As a result need specific clearly defined love although natural hormonal mood swings impact love, sex silence desired by the men. Complying exclusively to only 3 demands of love, sex silence will not make a relatipnship work. Since both give and take it is not just meeting men’s needs but woman’s needs for both to be happy. Originally men were not made to be alone with women 24/7 but part of a bigger family group support mechanism essential for survival of the community. Men and women isolated is part of problem of unrealistic demands on couples. Silence in relationship is an unrealistic desire in successful coupling.162452,xcitefun-man-time-5.jpgRelationship is not exclusive attention for only men’s needs but about essential needs of women too plus more issues of discussing finances, bills, housework, or duty of care to children, parents as they grow, cooking, work shifts? As originally God intended for women as full – time carers, men are supposed to be working outside in family business. The changes through life education brought the roles to be mixed up in modern times. Some traditional man continue in masculine role jobs, others find themselves called upon to do non -masculine domestic work. Means swapping roles sometimes as the woman becomes a bread winner. It requires the man to up their game to multi-task equally like when house work done by women. As women naturally are brought up in a way to do housework the pressure on a man to deliver to woman’s standard causes problems. The man can be cooking, cleaning, baby sitting, doing all yet still not appreciated.  Similarly, some men are better running, managing home so cannot fanthom why a woman is not maintaing home efficiently as he expects. May take over responsibility of domestic side to help a woman to ease the burden. Then expect the woman in turn to contribute upkeep financially by working too. Better for both parties sit down to decide what works best for their home. And review roles as time goes on adapt to changing dynamic needs of life. So important not to compare spouse or a partner to parents or siblings as better than her. Judge Judy says, ” You Chose that person” knowing their strengths or weakness so learn to accept them warts and all.  A happy wife and man makes deeper love connection for more sex. Man Bashing.jpgUnnatural demand on men to perform a traditional roles means some women do nag to complain about everything done by the man. Instead of valuing, showing gratitude and appreciation to the man are always finding faults and attacking man with verbal insults, physical fights, withdrawl of affection and intimacy. As this negative behaviour continues it can to resentment and sexual frustration. A man may feel rejected than being taught a lesson to wake up to function better. It is necessary to understand that it may not come naturally as it is for some to do housework so both need to discuss and help support each other. If help available they can ask and get help from friends and family if okay to do so. If financially able then get a housekeeper or nanny to ease the pressure with clear boundaries. The men in a relationship owe duty of care to the changing needs of women’s body and supporting women to become the spouse and partner they desire. The couple must adjust to changes of being parents and still make time for love, sex and silence after children asleep quiet time to meet each other’s needs too. So not become lost in the process of their parenthoid roles. Women body changes are the men’s business to support them.49b975cc5c82f4b96aa19291bd57a383.jpgMenstruation natural cycle interfering in sex is disliked for intruding in intimacy. Menopause hot and cold flashes causes disputes between men and women about room temperatures or windows opened or shut. So women’s genuine concerns dismissed as going ‘Mental’ or mentally unsound paranoia not taken seriously for help and support. This affects peace of mind causing mental breakdown, stress, and peri-natal / depression. All women’s problems begin with men not empathic lacking understanding of real needs the women deal with. Nobody is perfect so must learn more to tolerate compromise as team. If a person’s favourite colour is red but you cannot stand red, controlling behaviour does not permit you to insist they get rid of all red and change to your favourite colour blue they cannot stand either. The fact that the two becomes one flesh does not mean take over their lives to run it for them in own way. Each person is completely a whole person so deserves to be treated with great respect. Possessiveness is sign of insecurity and low self esteem so a relationship is for all member’s well-being including the man, woman, children and whole family. There is no relationship that cuts itself off from good source of help by isolating themselves exclusively then wonder why they are not happy. No man is an island so learn to give and take, be thankful to God for people in your life. Treat them politely with respect, dignity, honour sees love flowing back to you.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s