HEALING HEART GRIEVING

IMG_20160507_204246Healing heart from grief is important to transition from ovewhelming unsettling daunting changes endured. The sudden impact of shock affects immune system eating, sleep, other physical changes. A person deals with grief by displaying an emotional symptom associated with grieving. Emotional symptom prolonged by complicated grief includes:

  • Increased irritability
  • Numbness
  • Bitterness
  • Detachment
  • Preoccupation with loss
  • Inability to show or experience joy

While these emotional symptoms are normal in the days and weeks after a traumatic event, they can be indicators of a more serious disorder if they do not fade over time. To some it surprises that grief is not entirely emotional. There are very real physical effects grief has on the body. Some of the physical symptoms of grieving, according to those grieving are:

  • Digestive problems
  • Fatigue
  • Headaches
  • Chest pain
  • Sore muscles

Though these symptoms are normal during the grieving process, you should remember to contact your doctor if you experience severe physical symptoms. When you are in mourning, you usually feel under-rested or overwhelmed. Your body is probably letting you know it feels distress. You feel you have no strength left for your own basic needs, let alone the needs of others. Actually, one literal definition of the word “grievous” is “causing physical suffering.” Yes, right now your body is telling you it has, just like your heart, been “torn apart” and has some special needs!IMG_20160507_204852Your body is very wise so will try to slow you down and invite you to authentically mourn the loss touching life. Emotions of grief experienced affects body energy. Mourning life losses from the inside out experience requires caring for ourselves physically to integrate loss emotionally and spiritually. The body adapts slowing down to prepare mourning process of life losses. The main physical response to loss is with trouble sleeping and low energy. It is termed a “lethargy of grief” caused effects of lack of a normal sleep patterns disruption. Difficulty getting to sleep, waking up early in the morning and trouble getting back to sleep. During grief journey the body needs to rest more than usual. As one finds yourself getting tired more quickly at the start of the day.IMG_20160507_205154Sleeping normally after loss is unusual. as sleep is the primary way of releasing control. Experience of life loss is a great loss of control. At a subconscious level, does not want to lose any more control by sleeping. So sleep problems are very natural in the face of life losses. Muscle ache, pain, shortness of breath, feelings of emptiness in stomach, tightness in the throat or chest, digestive problems, sensitivity to noise, heart palpitations, queasiness, nausea, headache, increased allergy symptoms, changes in appetite, weight loss or gain, agitation generalized tension are all ways the body reacts to a loss encountered in life. The stress of grief suppresses the immune system so makes vulnerable to physical problems. A chronic existing health challenge may become worse as one may not feel fully in control of how body is responding. 79fd828503975d8908fb4c29cb5ef3e2It can be difficult to slow down to care for the body surrounded by messages to be strong in the face of grief. Some think doing things like, keeping busy, carrying on or need to put the past in the past will quickly help to overcome sorrow. These discourages from practicing the physical self-care, needed because it invites one to postpone or suspend grieving process. During mourning, need to slow down, to turn inward, to embrace feelings of loss, to seek and accept support is essential. It is not easy to care for physical being in a mourning. Physical self-care takes time, mindfulness and discernment. Physical self-care is vitally important to recover especially the loved one would not like to inflict pain. Priceless body is the house you live in so requires care maintenance to protect from outside elements. The body requires honour, value kindness as a gentle quality of life depends on care for body. Lethargy of grief experienced is natural mechanism intended that slows down and encourages care for your body. 1-Thessalonians-4-13-Do-Not-Grieve-Like-Those-Without-Hope-green.jpg-copyPracticing a physical self-care does not mean feeling sorry for yourself; rather it means allowing yourself to have courage to pay attention to special needs. It is in physically nurturing self that eventually allows time and loving attention needed on journey through grief to discover the fullness of living and loving again. That is encouragement to anyone in the midst of grief to put “nurture my physical self” right at the top of the daily to-do list. So taking care of the physical body during natural vulnerable time is essentially a good personal guardianship. Accepting personal responsibility for own special health needs is self-nurturing. Provide loving care so believe you can overcome grief endeavour body transition through changes stage of responsibility and care for the body. The pain of grief is so deep life itself seems falls apart through focus on loss. Exclusive extreme grief affects a person’s normal behaviour patterns that is why time is given to deal with the loss. Each person grieves differently so no set fixed method to grieving and healing.1-Thessalonians-4-13-Do-Not-Grieve-Like-Those-Without-Hope-pink.jpg-copy.jpgGod says mourn with hope, divine faith gives life meaning and purpose restoring muted turned completely off life. Stay in tune with God even if part of you wants to keep off. Believe God Can help take care of your physical body, over time and rewards your spirit, to be re-ignited to find renewed meaning and joy in life. Self-care is about being reminded to care for body with right actions, right living, and right thinking. Practice the self-care that believes you deserve love enough to carry it out. Practice of Presence of God daily, thoughtful care of grieving body is a clear reflection of your holiness, and a lack of self-care represents an internal disregard for your being. As difficult as it may be, caring for body is vital to healing surviving and longer-term life thriving. Many effects of bereavement that strike while coping with grief symptoms are very unnatural, scary and can be bizarre. Almost all perfectly normal! Do not lose mind going through normal and healthy grieving process. Following effects of a bereavement often expressed are:IMG_20160507_205402.jpg“I’m exhausted!”— the physical signs and symptoms of grief“Are you sure I’m not going crazy?”— emotional and mental symptoms “Where are all my friends?” — social changes “So where was God during all of this?” — spiritual challenges “Is this bizarre, or what?” — unusual experiences Do I need help are   warning signs that the professional help needed. Physical symptoms experience exhaustion, muscle tightness, weakness, physical body, pain, fidgety restlessness or lack of energy. The work of grieving expends tremendous amount of energy. Fatigue is self-limiting but improves over time. An insomnia or falls asleep too much disturbing dreams. Sleeping pills do not provide level and quality of sleep body needs. Occasional effective mild sedating in moderation but do not fall into habit of popping a sleeper every night not advisable especially unhealthy for “grief relief.” Some experience the loss of appetite, or overeating, nausea, “hollow stomach” indigestion intestinal disorders or diarrhoea, excessive weight gain or loss but stomach settles down. Headaches, shortness of breath, chest pressure, tightness, heaviness in throat if symptoms mild or improve fine. IMG_20160507_205333.jpgSo any chest discomfort, shortness of breath, accompanied by nausea sweating can be a sign of heart attack so call for help for serious symptoms to be safe than sorry. The body is communicating about special needs. So befriending and mindfully giving attention to a physical symptom helps discover body’s natural strength cope intelligence mechanisms. Effects of bereavement is hard and very painful. Almost like part of the physical body being ripped apart. Tearing apart from loved ones is sad and traumatic. Effects of bereavement after sustaining big loss like this, you will be a changed person. You will survive grief, but life, and you, will never be the same again. It is crucial not to get lost in grief totally to prove love for departed. Crucifying self with excessive grief and sorrow does not do any good to yourself or the loved ones surrounding life and living with you. To become so absorbed in grief as if others around you are non existent causes self destruction. Some feel left out excluded by ignoring them as if not good enough like the departed. Others feel abandoned by total absorption of focus on death not experienced before. So remember family unit teamwork is essential with all loved ones joining HEAVENLY Joy Celebration. IMG_20160509_113537.jpgAnd this will impact changes in family and social life in some way. You may well lose or gain, some friends over this. The family support abundant immediately after loss drips. Friends, family, gather around to provide support in traditional mourning rituals. After a while, though, cards, flowers stop coming and relatives go back home. So the “support system” will get back to their lives and seem to “abandon” you. Six months later, when truly realizing the reality of loss achingly lonely, that is the time that you probably need support the most. Unfortunately, most everyone is gone by then and those present may be urging you to “get over it” and move on with your life. So sadly, some friends will not call anymore, and may even be avoiding you. It was easy for them to give you hugs and shed tears with at funeral, but the difficult part is hard and awkward for them. They don’t know what to say often or how to help anymore. Some they stay away. One of the unexpected effects of bereavement.69babf71df545ee587ccc9426542fbecYou might want to withdraw socially, voluntarily isolate yourself from others. You may feel detached, disinterested in your usual activities and  interests. You may feel suspicious, irritable and even hostile. Part of these feelings is due to a feeling “they just don’t understand what I’m going through”and your impatience with their lack of understanding. You know what? It’s probably justified. Your social life will normalize somewhat as you progress through your grief and slowly rejoin the land of the  living. But some of your prior relationships will be forever altered. So the other effects of bereavement include helpless crushing grief forced by spiritual crisis. Challenge or question faith or religious beliefs. You may be angry at your God, or feel that life is empty and has no meaning.grief01.jpg

  • Why did this happen?
  • Was there some purpose for it?
  • Was this a part of God’s plan?
  • What reason could He have to allow a senseless death or suffering?
Only God Can Answer Spirituality so the personal relationship with God is private individual life. Comfort from faith in God makes a great difference in grief. So include prayer in your “grief arsenal” to feel need and desire in depths of soul during despair helps to let go and let God Take Care and Take Control of life. Some find faith provides support for survival when everything seems to fail.Try not to despair or worry so much about spiritual doubts likely to change over time, as the grief will. Many good books address the crisis of faith that occurs with grievous loss. Some may find traumatic loved one died of an illness, it is not uncommon to harbour fears one might get sick and die too. May develop symptoms similar to a condition physical effect of bereavement does gradually improve over time, so do not worry. If something might be wrong, see a doctor. Do not add stress of fear to own physical well-being. Get a checkup for the peace of mind.
aaa3244c5a1918e05809546dc16ad7f0.jpg
 Another effect of bereavement hallmark emotion during grief is unpredictability. Up feeling good, down miserable, it feels crazy, but normal. Emotions constantly changing, moving and evolving, you’re on the right track. Most people stricken by a great loss report an initial period of shock, numbness, or disbelief that the tragedy has occurred. This is a normal defense mechanism as mind protects from being overwhelmed. Allows one to absorb loss as able to. When “shock” wears off, grief sets. At first it may seem helpful to separate self from pain but not a good thing. Going hrough it sooner or later brings closure grief resolution. It is feeling an overwhelming sadness, and missing physical closeness of lost loved one shedding tears until crying no more. It is grieving ironically that brings relief, especially if death followed a long illness or conflicted relationship. The feeling of relief is likely followed by survivor guilt. Asking why they died so left one behind. Any regret of things left unsaid, dreams not realized may feel guilt, regret over the circumstances of death. IMG_20160507_205250God Comforts bereaved throughout their grief journey and heavy-duty emotional turmoil. Confidence in God is SOURCE of HOPE to change effects of bereavement. Some feel so helpless and panic-stricken at times. A myriad of strong emotions is part of whole package of bereavement. Emotions soften as the intensity of the severity lessens. Focus is distracted by trouble of concentrating or finishing tasks, forgetfulness, inability to make normal decisions, absent mindedness. Sometimes one should avoid making any life-changing decisions for at least 1 year after loss. This is a good idea as not in the right frame of mind. Anger is a part of grief package universally experienced by those who grieve. It is so normal and understandable to feel rage at a horrible injustice of death befalling people. One   may feel let down, disappointed by a lost of loved one for leaving loved ones. The common situation is blaming others for responsibility of not preventing a death.IMG_20160507_205050.jpgSo directs anger at doctors for not saving loved one’s life. Attacks God for letting a death happen. Rages at the whole world for making life unbearable till it caused death. Letting anger out is okay as long as one does not hurt anyone. Scream in the shower, talk with a trusted friend; write down thoughts and feelings in the journal; paint a picture of anger. To deal with anger is real effort coupled with the need to forgive when ready acknowledge anger in a safe healthy way. Do not wear a mask to suppress it. Sadly negative situation of grief caused by the loss causes challenges, problems, difficulty, unable to handle changes as a bereaved person. Effects of the sad bereavement sustained from the big loss of changes person. Life is never the same without loved one though survives grief life takes on whole new meaning. One reflects on own life and impacts social life in some ways. Some lose or gain friends.ab1b41325373c1d3dea8afb303eeb15aSocial support abundant soon after the immediate loss dries up. Friends and family gathering to provide support in traditional mourning rituals. After a while, cards and flowers stop coming relatives go back home. So “support system” gets back to own lives, and so seem to “abandon” the bereaved. Six months later, realizing all lost, then achingly lonely, time probably needing support most. So necessary to prepare unfortunately, when everyone is gone to DEPEND ON GOD IN CHRIST MORE. One gets back into present here now moment to adapt to life without loved one to “get over it” and move on with own life too. Sadly, some friends will not call anymore and may avoid you it is easy to give hugs and shed tears at the funeral, but now is the difficult part. It is hard and awkward for them. They don’t know what to say to you, or how to help you anymore. So they stay away. One of the unexpected effects of bereaent.0541d00fb7e82f4ab41939f07d772186Some may want to withdraw socially, voluntarily isolate yourself from others to meditate and to come to terms with changes. So feel detached, disinterested in usual fun activities and interests. So feel irritable and hostile due to feeling, they do not understand what one is going through so impatient with lack of understanding. Probably is justified but take care of self. Social life normalizes progress through grief slowly to rejoin land of the living. Lasting impact of the prior relationships is forever altered to affect emotions. So hold onto God to carry you through in a time of hopless helplessness. LORD God Almighty Turns mourning to dancing or ashes to beauty after the bereavement. So crushing grief forces to re-evaluate life from spiritual crisis. May challenge or question faith draw closer to realising their loved one cannot save them. Recognise need of Higher Power God to seek refuge from bereavement. Many share testimony of Coming to faith in Christ through loss and bereavement as forced to examine own life in line with the loss. This helps face reality of deàth and destination of heaven or hell so take active decision go change life to Belong to God in Christ so be saved eternally. Pray in Jesus Name to LORD GOD ALMIGHTY to Please remove, 

take away pain, shame, hopelessness or helplessness, to clear away all effects of trauma, sadness of withdrawn withered spirit, loss of hope, loss of joy, fear and distrust, restlessness, disappointment, from thoughts, cellular memory, heart, mind and body.” Do it again tomorrow night and every night until you feel light so the weight and burden lifted off the shoulders and the yokes broken in the spirit, cells cleansed and feels restored. Continue as long needed to repeat this prayer for healing so joy is full again in Jesus Name. God Restores beauty for all ashes, Joy comes in the morning and God gives a garment of praise for mourning turns sorrow to dancing in Jesus Name. Thank God for Hearing, Healing, Helping Answering your humble prayers in Jesus Name. Please God and promote, support, share testimony to help others recover from grief to heal in Jesus Name.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s