WORKING MUM’S CHILDREN

working-momThe debate continues on whether the children of working mums are better prepared for their future careers. The Bible says a person who refuses to work must not eat. So it is a Godly duty to one self to work hard to please God and also to fulfil His Command. People are told by God to watch ants to see how hard they work to learn from their example. So acquiring or owning a job, career, business is an honourable position in society. As one contributes in terms of services or commodities to provide for others to help employ people. Above all the government is happy with tax revenues from a working person.

6a0133f3a4072c970b017d4195505f970c-550wiDespite this advantages women seem to be dealt raw deal in social arrangements of juggling work with running the home. So an empathic employer gives flexible hours so the woman can work around the needs of her children. Combining time to take the child to day care, off work for hospital appointments and sports with working from home on certain specific days. An unsympathetic employer’s attitude is you made your bed so you lie on it by choosing to have children. So it is tough on the woman treated with disdain and told a business is not a charity. Struggles to fulfil both essential roles efficiently. Something gives in finding string of nannies, au pairs help accommodate work demands, heartaches decides to work from home.

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A high flying jobs demands even more to attend conferences though Skype helps it is not exactly same as participating directly and interacting live. Therefore these conflicting decisions pull women in different directions to fulfill both roles. With the right for women to work, since the suffragettes fought hard for an opportunity to be treated as equally part of society. Times have since changed when taking care of the home and family was highly respected as a full- time job. In fact it used to considered shameful for a woman to go earn the bacon as it made the husband seem irresponsible. The truth is a home run by the woman plus dedicating time to raising children is valid PRICELESS work of equal value yet not quantified in monetary terms does not diminish great value. Home manager is a full time career woman. If problems mean husband is not providing for the family through lack of work, illness or related problems of alcoholism family suffers. Women earn income to support their family in such circumstances.

www891Taking children to breakfast club before work and catch key after school clubs until late to pick up children after work. This encouraged enforced socialisation so the child also interacted with peers. This is win win situation arrangement of work pattern repeated from generation to generation. Initially, a mother feels the loss of attachment which causes pain for a few days until the child settles in nicely so mother becomes reassured. However, there is a nagging guilt of not being there as supposed to be. So always wondering if the child will grow up right or be affected in any way due to working full time. This matter is also researched often to see if consequences of working mothers affect children. The question is asked, Are Kids Of Working Moms Better Prepared For Future Careers? Your mom guilt might be misplaced, new book says working mothers raise great children. 

nrm_1422881791-379695_10151888228174576_847935613_nJuggling work and family obligations makes working mothers feel that they are always dropping the ball somewhere. When at work, you may be missing time away from your kids. When at home, you are missing out on networking events that could advance your career. A recent book by Pamela Lenehan, My Mother, My Mentor: What Grown Children of Working Mothers Want You to Know, spells out the many benefits children receive from mothers who work outside the home. Women want to be perfect at work, and we want to be perfect at home, but it’s hard to be perfect at anything,” says Lenehan. While many working mothers question at least once if they should just drop it all and stay at home, Lenehan conducted a survey of over 1,000 grown children and working mothers found a working mom actually has substantial benefits to children.working-mom-101022-02Strong Work Ethic as the parents know role modelling is the best way to instill behaviours and values, so should come as no surprise that children of working mothers Lenehan surveyed reported that watching their mothers going to work every day instilled in them a strong work ethic, more so than the children whose mothers stayed at home. Independence. Working mothers know that they are not going to be always there for everything, so deliberately train children be more independent,” says Lenehan. Allowing children to walk to school themselves, for example, dress themselves, play by themselves instills a greater sense of independence, rather than moms who stayed at home and were available to their children 24/7. Some mothers do carry on working throughout pregnancy.

alamy_2654355bChildren of working mothers reported that watching mothers going to work every day instilled in them a strong work ethic. Resilience: Children of working mothers reported being able to solve own problems and bounce back from tough times better than children of stay-at-home moms. “Because mothers knew that they wouldn’t be there all the time, they had to give children the skills to solve problems,” says Lenehan. They are Prepared For Work World Watching their mothers deal with challenges at work help children feel better prepared for the working world. “A number of these children had seen their mothers get laid off in corporate downsizing or heard about problems with bosses or difficult coworkers, so they felt that when they got to work, they knew that there were going to be issues, but they felt they had these skills on how to address these issues,” says Lenehan.

Working-mother-caring-for-008One study found daughters of working mothers earned 23% than daughters of stay-at-home moms. The children of working mothers also felt they had a wider professional network to tap into when it came time to career guidance. Although few of the children Lenehan interviewed actually ended up working in the same field as their mothers, they reported that their working mothers were able to connect them with a friend, or a friend of a friend, in the field they were interested in to provide expert advice. Although working fathers were also able to provide assistance in this area, Lenehan reports that mothers were often the ones who helped children with their resumes, articulate what they were looking for in a career and find right job. Daughters Benefit Most : One Harvard found daughters of working mothers earned 23% than daughters of stay-at-home moms and climbed higher on the corporate ladder (over 33% held supervisory positions, compared to 25% of daughters of stay-at-home moms). Lenehan, too, found grown women reaped the greatest benefit of having a working mother growing up, likely because they were able to recognize that the struggles they faced in balancing family and work were same struggles their mothers overcame.

3055606-poster-p-1-are-kids-of-working-moms-better-prepared-for-their-future-careersA middle class working family ensures children understand work ethics early so trains the children in valuing money as everything is earned. This foundation is built upon investing in good education from the early years to prepare children for work. House chores help earn pocket money so the children are taught saving and expenditure. Despite accolades of working mums and raising children, the mothers fully at home not able to work outside the home raise equally good children. So there is no need to label by generic term under a broad umbrella children of non working mothers as not career oriented. There are good success stories not take this at face value. For the structure of society balance tilts in favour of certain people. So no matter the training, skills or qualifications are disciminated against due to prejudice. Therefore have to settle for mundane inconsistent jobs here or occasionally. It important to be fairly real in comparing this feel good factor assessments that ease the conscience to prove why some other people never seem to work and dismiss them as lazy. Those on this side of the fence never understand the other side so cannot speak on their behalf or judge them. Generational plans are put in place to ensure the dominant culture benefits beyond reason at the expense of others. So it is necessary to celebrate all the working mothers. At the same time to be careful not to villify the mothers devoted to their children’s well-being. At the end of the day, there is life beyond work and retirement as priceless value of the soul. For what shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul. If life is measured in terms of commodity value of profit or interest then what a poor sad life. Though God said all must work it constitutes only a fraction of life.

portrait of grandpa and grandschild working at home lessonsGod does not measure a quality of life in terms of bank balance sheets. It is good mankind does work but it is not the be it all and end of all living. If human well being is understood workaholism costs a lot more in old age to maintain the life damaged for material benefits at the expense of priceless human life. Afterall, busyness and wasteful over- production seems to be considered hardwork but society must rethink true value of work not to damage human body environment in name of work. Working is great but it creates other issues of destroying core closeknit family values that abandon the children to peer pressure or gangs. Need to acquire material things cannot take a precedence over adult providing for aged parents or personally caring for them. So many elderly are forced to live alone because caring by family not considered work but caring by strangers paid for. Mechanised society had sold out work to robots yet still measures human value by work, career or profession. Unable to see value in non paid work priceless service immeasurable in monetary terms. Credit crunch bears witness the love of money is the root of all evil that destroyed the society yet anyone not working earning is considered lazy. The best quality of life extends above money into sentimental strong bonds that money tries to prove by gifts or presents. Material life is a part of life but not the total life God designed. Those not working, not earning are often considered failures in society but real life is deep inside the inner spirit and soul not quantified by money. Work causes babies to be left with strangers to abuse and young people grown detached from genuine love of family. This is not GOD’S original plan for the purpose of work.

91496078Work must not be a tool used to control society than real value ensuring all contribute fairly. So some guaranteed work while others deprived from work. How can there be a fair comparison? Also despite the fact that women work, their pay deals and pension pots suffer because of time taken in- between their working to raise family before returning to work years later. They have retrain in modern technology always changing so suffer again in trying to find work after children flow from nest. Raising children by the parent is no longer considered work but sending children to be looked after in the same way is paid for. What an irony the parent’s duty of care is valueless but yet exorbitant prices paid for nannies, day care and schools providing the exact same services to children. So women who choose to stay at home and raise their children are treated with disdain and villifies. Choice must be given to mother considering the children left to own devices on gadgets lack human sensitivity or consideration for fellow human beings. The whole structure of educational policy must take note structures set up divide family rather than build them up. Hence society is divided following the design of lack respect for genuine family values.

 

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