Projecting life on others blaming people for all your life’s troubles but don’t take responsibility for your actions. Sees self as perfect, never makes mistakes, gives excuses blaming others for your life’s problems. Defensive against unpleasant impulses reject help but if it goes wrong refuses to accept any responsibility but affected by consequences. Projection is seeing other people’s faults but not see their own. Projects own repressed anger onto someone so problems blamed on parents, teachers, neighbours, spouse, friends and colleagues. Egoism defence mechanism projects thoughts, impulses and feelings onto others transferred and counter transfers past and present situation to dearest and nearest. Loved ones bear brunt of projection closest to projector. Projector’s automatic mental behaviour undergirded by the attitude of preconceived ideas set in own ways. Feels angry uses defence mechanisms to repress, deny and project trouble onto others. All their frustrations, difficulties, failures, are somebody’s fault. Living in delusion of grandeur sets heights too high above their station in life so thinks too highly of themselves. They do not care what damage or hurt they cause others life revolves only around them. They must always be the centre of focus and attention or feel dehumanized. This pattern of unhealthy behaviours starts innocently from their terrible 2 years running family. Carries on to adulthood with their warped distorted worldview. Addicted to having own way not nibbed in bud in early years marries unleashes blame spouse for all their life problems. Always sees things wrong with the most intimate friends or family complaining spouse too thin must eat to avoid being seen as child. Then spouse gains weight approved of but extra weight seen as fat so nags to lose weight. One is never sure where one stands with them but cares for them. Told they are too short so start wearing platform shoes to increase the height. Spouse forced to wear high heels at all times to please them soon find the next thing wrong with partner. On and on it goes comparing cooking and house keeping with their mothers. Its as if they would have liked to marry their mother. forgetting their wife is not their mother. As spouse bears children he must rise to the task to do his bit as a loving father. Not feel abandoned, displaced angry or jealous of attention given to own child. Sulking, complain of poor housekeeping finds comfort elsewhere so justifies his terrible betrayal by blaming the wife. In some primitive societies, wife is lashed with stick for not fulfilling her intimate duties commitment but its not her fault lists lists for stolen water. Feels sense of entitlement whatever wanted whenever irrespective of the impractical reality of demand consequences become anxious.Projection behaviour extend to finances all his personal needs met but a family lacks food, electric, clothing, shoes so he is immaculately dressed. To the outside world he is a saint and good role model, but wife and children suffer under his yoke of bondage, ashamed embarrassed to get help. Those who dare report him to family or friends are not believed or he denies, undermines, telling them she is a bitter jealous woman who hates his interaction with family. Continue hurts bruises appear on woman or children buy covers story not to expose him. He may threaten to treat them worse or seek divorce and take away children. So this takes place for years wife succumbs to a disrespectful relationship, bullying and abusive ways for the sake of peace. Spouse’s behaviour gets worse with the unpredictable outbursts and constant arguments, a terror at home who picks on children. He may resort to violence beating or punishing unreasonably for slightest perceived irritation. Forgetting children need to play to have innocent fun freely at home. So goes on attacking family wrongly thinking life’s happiness depends on the perfect performance of wife. After years tormenting wife may gamble, drink, do drugs to numb pain of disappointment can’t keep jobs or work schedules. Finance is affected because of his insecure distorted world views.Without rent, bills unpaid so debt piling begins to fight threatened by creditors or debt collectors. So instead of seeking help to address situation picks on wife more. Builds resentments towards wife, plots to poison, maim, electrocute, kill begin secretly prepare to plot demise. Forgets in moment of anger or madness consequences and effects of destruction brought on himself. Doen’t think clearly ahead of impact on his future or where he will spend rest of his life. Carries out actions heard in news a husband killing wife, electrocutes for bearing daughters or hacking by chopping head off by row. Don’t recognise child’s gender from God maker of fe/male chromosomes its not a wife’s fault. Use acid attacks or gunshot strangle life but not take responsibility it takes two to make a child from God. So have direct connection with God first as a Christian believer then encourage a partner to lead life accountable to God first. Remain connected strongly to God in first love in Christ Jesus. Realise God is source of ultimate fulfilment to stop making impossible demands of partner to meet all your emotional, physical and material needs. No one man can save another except God in Christ so learn to do right thing acceptable for personal well-being relationship. Man is head of woman Christ Head of man and Church submit to God to grow up responsibly. Look up to Christ as perfect Bridegroom of love to follow his leadership not copy romance from novels, TV drama reality shows etc. May be useful during dating but true reality of marriage is give and take, compromise, forgiveness, building each other up. If married with children let children play so give them attention in the home. Don’t insists on keeping a home so spotless its show room or kept unkempt the children untrained to tidy up after themselves. The husband must help, stop comparing her to his mother. Some mothers work full-time, have no time to clean and polish silver ware. Do not insist your wife works full-time and run home full-time like an unemployed. Don’t ignore your spouse, sit reading the papers or watching football full-time so leave her alone to fend for the children as if a single parent. God is able to keep the marriage entrusted to God to make perfect all that concerns both in Jesus Name with thanks to God. Confide dark thoughts to trusted people to seek help before too late to act wrongly. Develop talents, music, art, drama, dance or sing paint, cook, life coaching, can volunteer, preach, teach etc. Personal development helps to grow to mature wiser each day. Leaving father and mother to cleave as a married couple doesn’t mean abandon your family and neglect caring for your parents. Honour family and support the people who love or care about you and people you meet on way up altar same people on way down. Deal with anger of past issues not to project into future and continue therapy for life and deal with triggers of past trauma damaging life. A projection defence mechanisms leads to conflicts of dumping negative emotions wins battles is lonely too perfect to fit in. Constantly looks for perfect utopia is insecure, always fearful and needy. And codepend suffocate, emotionally drains people doing everything for them but its never good enough always complaining need life coach to help or support them.