In Bible in Genesis 16 and Genesis 21:15-20 Hagar a black slave from Egypt was a single parent. Through a series of unfortunate circumstances was discarded with surrogate son Ishmael. Forced to leave home wandered in the desert near Beersheba. 15 The water in the container was gone so she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 She went far as arrow can be shot and sat down. She said to herself, “I don’t want to watch the boy die.” So she sat down and sobbed loudly. 17 God heard the boy crying, so angel called from heaven. “What’s the matter, Hagar?” he asked her. “Don’t be afraid! God heard the boy crying from bushes. 18 Come on, help the boy up! Take him by the hand, because I’m going to make him into a great nation.”19 God opened her eyes to see a well so filled container with water and gave the boy a drink. 20 God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became a skilled archer. 21 He lived in the desert of Paran, and his mother got him a wife from Egypt. God came through miraculously to provide and enrich Hagar son Ishmael’s descendants. Sarah thought she could help God fast track miracle as God seems to take took too long to fulfil Promise of heir. So Hagar was chosen to be surrogate mother of Ishmael. Sarah had Isaac after so there was chaos in the household. Although it was Sarah’s idea, it was common practice then to give the servant to masters by wife’s approval. Hagar left with baby dealt with consequences of Abraham and Sarah’s decisions. Hagar, not needed thrown out of master’s home. Ishmael deprived of father’s love attention yet Sarah organised this arrangement. Hagar fend for herself and child without provisions despite Abraham’s wealth.
This true story reflects millions of men and women who find themselves in Hagar’s position. Hagar had to leave into the unknown with her son. God looked down with compassion on Hagar an Ishmael and saved them as God provided for them and vowed to make them a rich nation from zero to a hero as God did indeed. The widow of a prophet found herself and children threatened by debtors who wanted to sell the children to pay father’s debts. The widow went to speak to senior prophet who advised her to borrow pots, lock the door and fill jars with oil. The widow followed instructions so paid husband’s debt to and save children’s life from bondage. Although, raising children alone, God intervened to help her. Another widow faced severe drought so had a handful of a last meal to eat and die. The prophet advised her to prove God by first serving him by faith. She obeyed so did exactly as told without thinking prophet was depriving child from nourishment. God faithfully proved Himself Strong on behalf of widow so meal never runs out. God provides for widow and son until drought ends for bumper crop harvests again. Single parenting demands attention to help support those dealing with such issues. The Bible in Isaiah 4:1-2 says, 7 self – sufficient independent women will get hold of one man to ask him to marry them to bear his name. The women will say we have bread and wear our own clothes, only let us be called by your name to take away reproach!”2 In that day the Branch of the LORD will be beautiful, glorious, and fruit of the earth will be pride and adornment of survivors. Due to battle, death consequences some households set up with women and children living alone. Jesus passing by widow of Nairn on her way to bury her only child raised child from death to restore family life. They work extremely hard to ensure the children turn out well as responsible citizens but are often vilified for bearing children. That parent never thought they would be labelled a ‘single parent’ by society. Most often struggle with buying enough food to feed the children properly and money for light and heating, bills, clothes, basic necessities of life which most people take for granted. Yet some have underlying health issues not taken into consideration to be carefully provided for. Some live in the dark, without electricity, food and heating but do not complain. They are already picked for being single through no fault of their own. They are punished for taking up challenge of rising together rather than separating into foster homes, permanently adopted losing touch with siblings. Often parent abandoned them carries on with life successfully, and get on with their lives.
Nobody really chooses deliberately to become a single parent despite myth portrayed. Why would anyone give up successful career, friends at work, promising promotion prospects? Or friends, colleagues, profession to be tied down by infant for life without an adequate support swap life for sleepless lonely nights with stigma label? Women are compelled to work earn income. But once married, if things do not work out well are left carrying baby alone. The man moves on to next conquest abandoning woman and children. The husband goes round in turn to other women to create more children. Yet trend blames women for not being responsible for bringing forth children. If marriage dissolved women paids no alimony. Such single parents sacrifice career, jobs, education, promotion, new marriage to love and care for children. Often they do not have the help of significant others to support them. They become father and mother to those children. But blame impact of feminist liberal views yet irresponsible men do not provide for their household. Cultures practicing polygamy and polyandry with multiple wives live alone.
They refuse to sponsor their own children because they think they are making the other parent rich. They have no idea how their children survive while society treats such children as scum of the earth because they do not have both parents. They are made to feel inferior although some children with both parents are worse than children from single homes. With God on your side you will make it like Hagar and the widows who became single parents but survived bereavement and tragedies to the Glory of God. Look up to God to make a way for you, where there is no way in Jesus Name. Forgive the other partner and refuse to walk in anger, wrath, bitterness for it is not good to let such toxic negative feelings poison you and turn into long-term health problem. Vengeance belongs to God so pray for them, bless them and never bad mouth them to the children because their genes and blood is flowing in them. Trust God to see you through. Above, all children grow so fast, you will be free to rebuild life to achieve goals and ambitions.
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