Today, modern gadgets are part and parcel of our daily lives so impacts and affects communications in relationships. It is competing with people’s attention and intimacy. Each wants to give priority to online friends at the expense of the one in the here and now with them. Most have not designed particular family routines as a couple so act as separate individuals living in a bed and breakfast. On good days they may have wonderful moments to enjoy each other’s company. On challenging days they may resort to individualistic strategies of isolation, living in own spaces or rooms, angry at each other for days. Rather than not letting the sun set on their anger each turns to social media friends for support. True intimacy is divided between virtual friends online so some see each other as enemies. Yet one does not marry or live with your enemy so the secret is to reconnect with God at the Centre of your relationship.
All your needs must be cast upon God not your partner. There must be genuine love, transparency, honesty, trust, forgiveness, loyalty and also announcement to all that one is involved and fully committed to that relationship. Running to bad-mouth each one to others is immaturity which cannot help the relationship. It is alright to keep in touch with friends, family and colleagues but respect, honour and do not humiliate one another in front of others. Your partner may not be perfect but remember you choose them. Social media must never be allowed to come in between you and your partner. By refusing to grow up or not taking responsibility makes the other partner feel the relationship is all about you so frustrates the other. Caring for home, cleaning, cooking, removing trash, laundry, shopping, flowers, presents, little creative notes encourage to deepen love. It lifts burden from partner expected to do it all. It makes the other partner less tired and exhausted so ready for intimate action.
It makes them feel you truly love and appreciate them through such simple acts of love, very important and meaningful to them. It is true diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but it does not talk to them so it is you your partner loves above material things. Never, assume because you work hard, keep a roof over mate’s head as a great provider, pay the bills, buy the best clothes, shoes, bags and latest car each year, sent on holidays so your part is done. Do not allow bromates and girlfriends ruin your family and home. Develop the love deep you started and continue to set time aside exclusively to date after marriage because it is just the new beggining. Do not keep any journal or diary of a list of each others mistakes as evidence to justify why you want to destroy the relationship. You cannot change anyone, only God can, so be the right partner helping to build up your partner in humility. Not everything that happens behind closed doors needs to be constantly shared online rather than sit down and talk through challenges. If that does not work take it to experienced pastor or therapist in a safe non-judgemental environment.
Social media unfortunately has become an unwelcome intrusion in private life matters that are not supposed to be openly shared. Keep boundaries because problems do not disappear by sharing them publicly, you need to respect and honour each instead of blaming and condemning each other. Making unrealistic demands on each other or living beyond your means to impress a high maintenance partner only creates debt and destroys the relationship. Being honest at the onset about one’s level of income, life interests, further plans and goals will help create your affordable budget. Remember money does not give happiness if you are not already a happy person. Constantly living beyond your means, taking loans to eat, drink, smoke, play computer games and party complicates the relationship. Create your own joyous interactive family traditions that do not cost the earth.
Neither do you have to live like Steptoe and son. Rather create a realistic balance of earnings, bills and entertainment especially if children are involved and live within your means. Social media is an excellent tool for those using to date, work or socialize. Even if you met through social media you still need to adapt to live with each other in real life without living exclusively through gadgets only. Plan activities outside gadgets like going on safari, nature centres, travel, museums, sports, cinema, dance, gym, fitness groups, cookery, gardening, flower arranging, art, painting and story writing sessions, strolling, to create common interests to bond together. Love and intimacy alone is not enough, as it is friendship, compassion, caring deeply for each other that lasts longer. Remember to make God the Centre of your relationship because a 3 cord is not easily broken. Pray and study the word together everyday in Jesus Name. God will help you to grow deeper in love and be more devoted to one another.
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